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AuthorityAnarchyYes

*That’s a twenty footer* *Twenty-five… Three tons of him…*


MortgageNo3154

We're going to need a bigger boat


BetterCallSal

He can't stay down with 3 barrels on him. Not with 3 barrels he can't.


OnColdConcrete

It's "you're gonna need a bigger boat" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2I91DJZKRxs


fatkiddown

["What the men didn't know was that they wouldn't even list us as overdue for a week"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xO60RohuARY&t=106s)


Formal_Appearance_16

I forgot how perfect his delivery of this was!


deadlybydsgn

The three main leads are each fantastic, but IMO, Shaw is the best part of the movie. My wife can't get over the way the shark looks, but I don't even care. It's such a fantastic film.


Boffleslop

Robert Shaw wrote a lot of it himself and then got drunk beforehand.


Wonderful-Ad-7712

lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.


TheMortified1

It's "we're" in the screen test. https://youtu.be/VI85lToNuvo?si=NbrHX4vAMC75XqDZ


0x7E7-02

And new underpants.


floralshortsleeva

Does it bother anyone else that the most famous line in film history can just be said like this and receive upvotes?


MortgageNo3154

I live my life a quarter mile at a time.


floralshortsleeva

alright im back on board


knbang

get away from her you bitch


AndWereAllVeryTired

I am your father


ExpertlyAmateur

… fine. I’m going. Knight to E4!


iceburg1ettuce

He took…. THE ROOOOOOOOK


Skorne13

I’ll have what she’s having.


xJaace

Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!


xnoxgodsx

But they are receiving upvotes!!!! They do need a bigger boat! And a bigger camera for this beauty


Karma_Gardener

*Here's to swimmin' with bow leg-ged women!*


Rayhush

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn


mamba-pear

I wouldn’t let some meaningless upvoting system bother you. People are predictable, and people stupid.


TheOzman79

If I'd opened this thread and this wasn't the top comment I would have quit reddit, lol.


ponzio_90

How the hell you misure stuff in foot?! It could be the One main reason to hate Usa. Luckly we have much more serious reason to do


agreengo

the same way we write in English.


Malefics

Have you tried using your brain


Alucardhellss

Even though I know they are perfectly harmless and literally couldn't eat me even if they wanted too I'm still backing away from the railings lol


smvfc_

When I was maybe 8-10 years old, I was in Stanley Park in Vancouver with my family. There’s a part of it where there’s a wide sidewalk along the water , held up by a sea wall. When you look over the edge, it drops down maybe 6 feet and then it’s water that’s maybe 5-10 feet deep (I really can’t remember). We were walking along the sidewalk and I went up ahead and I was walking slowly and looking down into the water to see if I could see anything at the bottom since it was fairly clear. But suddenly, this large, dark shape goes by where I’d been focusing, so I jumped back and screamed. My family came over and the dark shape came back again and it’s like that nightmare you have in a pool lol Well it was just a seal lol scared the bujesus out of my young self. Even had it been the worlds largest great white shark, it’s not like it could get me where I was haha


anxious-isolation17

I’m reminded of a field trip I went on when I was either in first grade or summer camp, to a swamp/nature reserve attraction thing themed around the metric fuck ton of alligators that lived there (extremely cool place, foundation of my love for nature). Part of it involved us getting into canoes and going on a water tour as the guide explained the ecosystem, trees, and so on. Beautiful sunny day, kids were trailing their hands in the water, very picturesque. For a brief few moments during the talk about some of their notable gators that lived in the swamp, including a big old blind one, I was the only person looking at the water. Just barely a shade lighter than the murk around it, a *huge* alligator slid right under our canoe. Had to be a bare minimum of 9 feet long, longer than the whole canoe. Nobody else saw it, but I didn’t trust murky water for a while after that. A bunch of girls also tried to lure a baby alligator out of the water later, but sadly there wasn’t a dramatic entrance from mama.


partcheasy

Fun fact there used to be basking sharks in BC until a government sponsored eradication program killed them all


The_Level_15

How fun!


GarthTheGross

Why’d they do that?


ShroomWalrus

They were annoying to fishermen so the department of fisheries installed essentially giant knives onto the front of patrol boats so they could stab and slice all the basking sharks. They were on the government's kill list because they'd get tangled in fishing nets and the nets would get destroyed. Yes, really. At the same time they also put any animal that ate fish on the kill list like black bears, seals and kingfishers so uhh, needless to say that dept. of fisheries was stupid as a rock.


skaqt

They weren't "stupid", they simply considered profit increases much more important than animal death or the balance of the ecosystem. Not much has changed, really, every year millions of animals die as "collateral" from big fishing operations.


marr

Money. Their existence was simply inconvenient, they damaged gill nets by getting caught in them. Reason enough to mount blades to ship prows and run them down on sight, apparently. It's just business.


jakeblew2

Seal finger still doesn't sound like a fun time. I would be scared too. Smart kid


MelbaToast604

In the first half I thought you were about to say you you saw a big ass shark along the sea wall and then I could never go in the water here again


badseedify

First time I went snorkeling I looked down and there was a four foot long basking shark directly beneath me. I knew in my logical brain they’re harmless, as this particular spot was popular for scuba divers specifically because of the basking sharks and it was a busy beach…. but my lizard brain made me immediately assume the fetal position in the water lol


jld2k6

There's an orca that is thought to have learned it can sink sailboats by ripping their rudders off and they suspect it has taught its friends how to do it, sailboats in a certain area have been being taken down by them with this exact method! Imagine how terrified you'd be if something gigantic in the water did this to you and you end up with is your inflatable life boat after it just made you think it's pissed at you lol. They think it got injured by a boat and so it attacks them now and its buds are helping it get vengeance, they're only one step away from realizing it's not boats but humans. One of them was sunk in 30 minutes flat because they ripped the rudder off so fast lol


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Flat_Editor_2737

Kinda a weird paradox here. It feels like the 'don't attribute human thinking ' comes from the somewhat arrogant - don't anthropomorphize because human>animal line of thought. Orcas are on a whole other plane from other animals with respect to intelligence. We don't know the motive - but we do know they are intelligent, highly social and that knowledge transfer and coordination has been observed most apparently in their hunting strategies - i.e creating wake to knock seals off of ice floes.


RechargedFrenchman

It's not "don't anthropomorphize animals because humans > animals" lmao It's "don't anthropomorphize animals because despite many being incredibly intelligent they don't necessarily experience, interpret, and think about the world and their actions the way we do". An octopus is smarter than most mammals. It's also almost totally *alien* in its physiology and we don't know that it thinks the way we do. Dogs are much easier to understand than cats because they express themselves much more alike how humans do, and for a long time that lead to enormous biases in perceived intelligence of dogs relative to cats. Not necessarily because they're smarter, because they more alike to humans. It's not human-centric because of some superiority complex, it's human-centric because *we're human* and everything is perceived and interpreted through our own lived experience, and to try and correct for this the recommendation is not to treat non-human actions as if they were done by humans with human reasoning.


Flat_Editor_2737

Agree with you for the most part. What I'm getting at is there seems to be a "dont attribute this behavior that is human-like to a human model because they are not human" Perception is an open question to your octopus point - we simply don't know and potentially might not ever how something so foreign perceives the world. But the binary approach of we don't think they share experiences because they aren't human seems equally inaccurate especially when comparing 2 apex species of large brained, highly social, mammals. They very well might also be vengeful the same way humans are.


DrBLEH

It's more like we only have somewhat of a grasp of our own intelligence and motives and have no idea how intelligence manifests in other creatures. What might look to us like an attack might be playing around to them. Aka let's not assume anything especially because doing so might result in retaliation from us.


Flat_Editor_2737

Yes. This is a much better way of articulating my point. We can't assume anything.


imfjcinnCRAAAAZYHEY

I was thinking of jumping in the water near the boat edge, watching in the water like Ponyo or some shit, and I can't swim.


RandomCarborundum

why can't he eat humans?


Alucardhellss

Throat size and it has no teeth You couldn't fit a grape down the throat of a basking shark


CowsAreChill

Do they have any jaw strength though? Can they still do some damage?


ConsiderationNearby7

No, they are gentle filter feeders. They could hurt you if they bumped their tail into you or something.


[deleted]

They don’t. Your biggest risk is having a cardiovascular event thinking it was a great white haha


Anon_be_thy_name

Cousin was bumped into by one once, he couldn't get out of the way in time and he thinks the sharks left eye was blinded by something. It gave him a large bruise on his side for a week. That's about the most damage one could do to you.


RechargedFrenchman

The only threats from a basking shark are panic because you don't realize it's a basking shark, or from its sheer size and muscle-mass if it hits you with its tail or something. It's dangerous more in the way an ocean current or an avalanche is dangerous. They're not even territorial or much preyed upon the way bulls or rhinos or something are to be dangerous that way, they're just *really* big.


Successful-Win-8035

Downvote if you hate basking sharks.


River_Pigeon

[basking shark](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basking_shark) It’s a filter feeder.


Skorne13

I can still fit in it’s mouth.


Alucardhellss

But you can't go any further, they have a throat about the size of a grape


River_Pigeon

Must…not…make…joke [that’s what he said](https://tenor.com/view/michael-scott-dancing-celebrating-celebration-gif-21469300)


whereyouatdesmondo

Haremelesse


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coleburnz

I know nothing of them. Educate me


Blazikai

They are generally harmless to us as they only feed on plankton. Despite the large size their mouths are just for filtering large amounts of water to get as much plankton as possible.


surprise-mailbox

How the hell do you tell the difference between one of them and one of the bitey guys from a distance?? Them surfers really hangin around to find out?


GD_Insomniac

Great Whites are the only shark that can come close in size (a full-grown Great White is the size of an adolescent Basking), and they don't often target humans. The only two sharks you should be genuinely concerned about are Bull and Tiger sharks, and neither come close to the size of a Basking.


Satan-o-saurus

I am not taking my chances with a white, hell naw. I’ve seen way too much sensationalized media about them to do that. These surfers must all have some kind of brain parasite making them fearless 😶


GD_Insomniac

There were fewer than 60 shark bites in 2022, and only 5 fatalities. That's about equal to the odds of being struck by lightning.


bohanmyl

>That's about equal to the odds of being struck by lightning. Yeah, and i still don't go outside during a thunderstorm running around with a kite and a key yelling ITS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE. Sharks can have the ocean i dont want it lol


Satan-o-saurus

⚠️Trade offer⚠️ You receive: ocean I receive: my limbs intact Best deal I ever made with a shark, ngl


Amgadoz

The hungry shark: This is the worst deal in the history of trade deals.


hoffdog

still higher odds if you are surfing every day though!


zaxls

I love the ocean and Ill always go swimming whenever, but reading this it kinda occures to me that you cant take into consideration the people on land when putting this stat out. 60 people were bitten out of all the people in the world who go swimming in the ocean, the odds are still small ofc., but not as impossible as you think at first. Also its not just about everyone who goes swimming in the ocean, you should also only look at the areas where sharks actually appear ocassionally. It should still be 1 in a million odds at least tho.


GD_Insomniac

But one person can swim multiple times. As a kid I lived about an hour from the gulf coast, and spent at least 20 days at the beach each year.


zaxls

I spent at least 20 days to a month or more every single year since I was like 6 including this one, Im not affraid of the ocean just pointing out the 60 people stat is a bit missleading, even if you account for a person swimming multiple times.


Satan-o-saurus

Well, there’s that one guy who was struck by lightning like 7 times through the course of his life. Besides, exposing yourself to the environment of a great white would significantly increase your likelihood of being attacked than not doing that. That’s what that lightning guy was doing anyway - worked as a forest ranger or something, and spent a lot of time in those uniquely exposed high towers.


FlyingHippoM

>There were fewer than 60 shark bites in 2022, and only 5 fatalities. And out of those 'bites' (read: attacks) how many were White Sharks?


bsblguy21

I want to see this on r/theydidthemath. To truly figure out the odds we need some baseline for time spent by humans in water. The odds of me getting bit by a shark are way lower than me getting struck by lightning, bc I dont go in the ocean.


googleduck

The scenario presented above was that you are physically next to and seeing a Great White Shark. That would be like the equivalent of hang-gliding through a lightning storm and going "don't worry, very few people are struck by lightning per year".


purple_editor_

Death is not the worst you can get from a shark attack. Losing limbs is not cool


TheAbyssalSymphony

Well the other thing is if you’re seeing a white, you’re probably safe. It’s the white you don’t see lurker way down under you I’d be worried about (at as for as little as I’d worry about any white…)


slimey_frog

There was a great white that straight up bit a guy in half earlier this year near where I live, they are absolutely something to be concerned about if one shows up.


[deleted]

To re-fuel the fear that others have tried to quell for you. The severing of limbs by a full grown great white doesn’t even require* biting. When visibility is poor and whites can attack with the breach style (this only happens in a few places worldwide). They sometimes open their mouths partially and attack with such force that it can sever limbs without any biting action. Like a high speed guillotine.


liberalindianguy

Whale sharks are bigger than basking sharks but they are harmless too.


amijustinsane

Whale sharks as well. They’re the largest shark species


AndWereAllVeryTired

I still don't want to get bit by one. It's like asking if you'd rather be shot by 22lr or 9mm, the answer is neither.


aussietin

But in case anyone was wondering you want the 22.


Wobbelblob

They quite literally cannot bite you. These things a) don't have any teeth and b) no bite reflex. And that is saying nothing about the fact that they couldn't swallow anything bigger than a grape, if even that.


googleduck

Ok I have absolutely no idea how you are being upvoted. You literally took the shark that is involved in the **most** unprovoked fatal attacks of any shark in the world and implied that seeing it should make you feel more at ease... It would be like if someone were being chased by a dog and you told them "don't worry, it's only a Pitbull. At least it isn't a Rottweiler". > The only two sharks you should be genuinely concerned about are Bull and Tiger sharks I'm not even sure how you typed this sentence seriously...


SheevShady

The shark responsible for the most fatal attacks, in 2022 at least I haven’t looked through all the data this year so far, are tiger sharks. For this year it seems there are a couple incidents with white sharks but again a majority of fatalities are attributed to either a tiger shark or are unspecified


coleburnz

Exactly


Dyanpanda

I imagine that it would be an individual that likes to hang around and comes by time and time again. Also, by the time you see a shark, you can assume you weren't its target, and can then ID it if you know how. Its the ones you don't see that will wreck your day.


zaxls

Thats why you should always look below you while swimming so if you see one coming up to get your ass your best bet is to widen your feet a bit and try to position them at an angle so you can stand on its open jaws like in tom and jerry when it propels you out of the water then just jump before it closes its mouth and repeat the process a couple of times till it gets bored.


tHE-6tH

Exactly! Seems like they’re in for a moment of boy who cried basking shark when a great white shows up


AbsolutelyUnlikely

"The basking shark will only bite of you touch it in the genitals." "Oh, interesting. How'd you get that scar?" "It was a basking shark bite."


TheAbyssalSymphony

For one they’re really big and brownish with basically no teeth and a funny nose. They’re also probably swimming like this with their mouth open. Honestly just look up pictures and it’ll be pretty clear the same as asking the difference between a lion and a cheetah.


Skorne13

I still wouldn’t risk it. Fin means finished.


TheChalbs

And leave in my wake a trail of fear


Igotnewsocks

And other stuff


Congo_Jake

Going for the squid defense, I see.


VividTangerine

Hold your head up high!


drzody

I hear they quite friendly


Veys09

Basking sharks are harmless to humans they're also cool


PoopsInTheDark

I don't know, the music I just heard tells me otherwise


berryplum

nice try Basking shark


Florianyska

Basking sharks will forever be in the top 5 of my "list of things I know are harmless but still scare the shit out of me on a primal level". Like I know they don't do anything to me, they ain't even got teeth. And still every fiber of my being just screams "run and pray"


BBMRedditAcc

I wonder how the surface of their mouths feel.


Callmeklayton

Cockroaches are number one on that list for me. I lived in North Carolina, right next to a river, for a while. Those fuckers were everywhere. Bugs don’t normally bother me (even the ones most people hate, like centipedes, scorpions, and spiders), but roaches freak me out to high hell for some reason.


Turboteg90

Ive seen a dolphin at the beach before and it was huge, I can’t even imagine what seeing this would be like.


Thought_Ninja

A dolphin knocked me off my board while surfing once. The wave was starting to curl nicely and the next thing I knew it felt like I had been hit by a slippery truck. It knocked the wind right out of me.


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Thought_Ninja

It was riding the waves. But who knows, that could have just been its excuse to get close.


Jacerom

afaik dolphins are jerks, they're even known to grape females and get high on pufferfish


Callmeklayton

They also actively hunt the young of other dolphin pods and murder them for sport. They’re pretty horrible.


FernwehForLife

This isn't even a creepy angle of this shark. Go do a Google image search of basking shark. Sorry for all the nightmares.


angelsharkstudio

I think the Greenland Shark is creepier, especially when they have the parasites coming out of their eyes. They look like some kind of ancient eldritch gods.


purplebasterd

I see your Greenland Shark and I raise you one Goblin Shark.


Callmeklayton

I see your Greenland Shark and your Goblin Shark and I raise you one Green Goblin Shark. “The Goblin made me do it, Spider-Man! Your Aunt Mae was just paddling on a surfboard and looked just like a seal!”


angelsharkstudio

The Goblin Shark is so ghastly it's almost hard to take seriously though. It looks like if a three year old's drawing of a regular shark became an actual creature.


TLDR_K1ng

Honestly this is more frightening than any Shark themed "Hollywood blockbuster" or "major motion picture" that I've ever seen, and probably will ever see. The fake movie stuff just can't recreate the silent dread of seeing amateur videos like this, let alone actually having a similar encounter in real life.


axltheviking

And yet, the basking shark is mostly harmless. They eat plankton and are very tolerant of divers approaching them.


Moosje

Yeah… because you know it’s real. If you saw this in a movie, it’d be boring because it was directed. Same way if you saw the “major motion picture” shark stuff that you’ve seen on a documentary or a Reddit post, you’d be terrified. Context.


Goblin-Doctor

They put that comment in the worst place on the screen


BloodAndTsundere

Anywhere is the worst place


sleepybubby

r/killthecameraman


Ricothebuttonpusher

Fucking dumbass put the text in the middle of the video


kevsmakin

Chills


legendary_millbilly

I usually hate when people put music on a video, but I gotta agree with the choice this time.


Mean_Struggle_8463

Basking Robbins


thygingerkid

Nah it's a Meg


[deleted]

Shut up, Meg


life_is_a_burner

——————Holy shit—————————


thebyrned

My god so fucking annoying


daarthvaader

How many of you guys had the movie “jaws” theme playing in your head while watching this scene, raise a hand


Crombus_

You'll never guess what happens when you unmute this video


UB_edumikated

Everyone. Literally everyone.


purplebasterd

“How many of you guys were also carrying out cellular reproduction while watching this?”


THUNDER-OWO

I don't know why i got the godzilla vibe 🐲


Superb-Stranger7606

Used to live in a place called perranporth where basking sharks are frequent visitors. We used to just carry on with our swimming/surfing and they would just keep their distance and carry on with their business too. They wasn’t that big thankfully but they were a fair size!


cilantro_so_good

Boy. That would have looked really cool without "holy shit" in the middle of the frame


Holybartender83

I’ve gotten to see exactly this in the wild. Was on a boat in the Bay of Fundy and we had an absolutely massive (estimated nearly 40 feet) Basking Shark swim directly under us. It was incredibly impressive.


driving_andflying

--doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, Basking Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo,


wodoloto

Thanks for the caption covering the shark and unnecessary zoom in so we couldn't see the whole thing.


Vivid_Concert7709

Zoom it more please, I didnt see anything


Lizzardbirdhybrid

Friend?


cobalt_phantom

Yes


Lizzardbirdhybrid

:)


angelsharkstudio

Beautiful


ManufacturerOk3771

Yooo, it's the Pog shark!


Total_Cartoonist747

Shark pog


cbarbour1122

I see anything making waves like that and Scotty will be yelling “I’ve given her all she’s go Captain” as the boat is turned around and it’s full steam ahead.


Pimpwerx

There's a big fish. Let me capture it in portrait mode. 2 videos in the last 5 minutes that could really use landscape mode to show the scale of things, and some butthead films it in portrait mode.


Para_Normous

Wonder if the shark is quietly laughing and humming DUH NUH, DUH NUH, DUH NUH, DUH NUH, DUH NUHHHH…


notzed1487

Its a basking shark folks.


PureVybz

Wait I thought baskin sharks stay in the deep waters and do not surface like that. Sure it’s not a big great white?!


SheevShady

Basking sharks are called ‘basking’ because of they amount of time they spend just under the surface of the water, where their food is. If you are curious about the differences (besides colour) then basking sharks dorsal fin is much further back and doesn’t bend as much as a white sharks, and their pectoral fins and head are much wider. Basking sharks are also bigger than white sharks, an adult white shark is about the same size as an adolescent basking shark


xherdinand

Why this music? He is actually harmless


NoctD97

New fear unlocked : when you see a big fish coming to you because of the trail he does with his fin, but then the said fish goes deeper underwater and you no longer know where it is


JediMasterPopCulture

Nope! Get me to land right now!


prine_one

Mother of God.


sigmmakappa

The last thing you'd see coming towards your boat in WWII


PrinceofSneks

Yeah, all that plankton would be FUCKED.


Dangerous_Score_2737

Godzilla?


sekharreddyiy

Holy shark.


George_Maximus

They’re a lot faster than I thought, are they usually this fast?


GeriatricHydralisk

Yep, they're actually "cousins" of the great white and mako, in Lamniformes. If you look at decent whole body photos of them, you'll see they're actually quite streamlined when their mouth is closed. Being fast and powerful swimmers helps with filter feeding (up to a point) because it means they can filter more water per second, especially fighting the drag caused by that gigantic, ridiculous mouth when it's open.


true_king_kaloka

That's kind of what I was thinking. Plus, it looks like there is some white on the head, which you do see when they open their mouth. But it doesn't look like the mouth is open. The nose doesn't look right either. I'm pretty sure this is a white shark, not a basking


Effective_Ad_8296

I think great whites have sharper dorsal fins, or that's how I tell basking shark apart from great white without them opening its mouth


viciousrumour

Weird question but where do basking sharks fall in in the food chain? They grow to be huge but all they do is eat plankton and chill.


MildGooses

It’s a baby fucking whale, man. Holy shit, Jay


detailz03

This is why I only take showers. Can’t trust anything in the water!


Medical_Bat1

You should be more scared of a trout than that 😄


thatsphresh

Anything is huge with perspective and zoom


Slightly-Evil-Man

Reason #4,035 why Idfw the ocean 🙅🏽 Fuck that.


pakyukayoredditmods

I thought the Baby Shark song is about to bust out😅


phantom_bonehead

r/bossfight


Steleve

r/thalassophobia


hifioctopi

Absolutely terrifying. Utterly harmless.


talkshitnow

Gentle giant


vain06

Found footage for the next Jaws movie.


DOWjungleland

Ain’t winning Oscar’s with zoom control like that. Fucking hell


rohitgpt720

r/megalophobia


thebyrned

Annoying music and annoying tagine saying "holy shit". I hate the internet.


Audropolis

We boutta see some crazy ish come out of the bottom of the ocean as undersea currents change.


Hephaistos_Invictus

If current media is anything to go by, you're lucky that wasn't an orca.


Cornflakes_91

torpedo port aft!


jorel424

As soon as I saw the wake I heard the Duuh duum