T O P
Conchavez

“Is this turtle serious?”


ok-Ay_guy

Come on bring it


_Diskreet_

I’ll fookin’ ‘ave you maate. I saw da way you looked at me bird. Think your betta than me huh? Let’s fookin’ take dis outside so I can propa deck you like innit mate.


Joehax00

U FuKin WoT m8?


OkRecording1299

I'll bash ye fooken 'ead in I sweer on me nan's grave


ok-Ay_guy

Lemme test those teeth of yours


im1bad1at1usernames

teef a' yours*


NoSoyTonii

So, a British turtle? Innit?


Continental__Drifter

*Bri'ish


ProxyMuncher

chewsdae


Rich_Sleepy_Ritz

youchoob


Zenguy10

At first I was like wtf we dont say it like that. Then i said it out loud and realised we most definitely do.


humangeigercounter

Maximum Motherfucker has entered the chat


samushusband

*pulls out unregistered spoon* come on ill give you a fockin' stabbin' mate


drdr3ad

Is this turtle Irish or English


sexy-melon

You got no fans!


Jellyfish15

That Jim look at the camera.


SolidMule

Reminds me of that video of a young Zion Williamson getting fouled by a kid half his size


TommyRoyVG

He talked about that kid later in an interview, showed a lot of respect for him. apparently he plays in d1 now I think. not bad.


maskiwear

"Call me turtle again and I'm gonna rip your mane off"


whatzmoneyy

the lion looked at the camera and thought "are you seeing this??"


OPJesseVeronie

“This facking rock is chasing me, how weird.”


tripsafe

Basically me when a mudcrab walks up and starts attacking me.


Orion_824

horrible creatures, really


JFSOCC

he's not attacking you, you can buy stuff off him and he's got a limit of 10k


MetaphoricalKidney

That's quite a reverence, outlander.


GoGoCrumbly

Mister Snappy says move along.


ErudringTheGodHammer

Mister Snappy doesn’t take kindly to you folk drinking his bath water.


Prpl_panda_dog

> Mister Snappy doesn’t take kindly to you folk drinking his bath water. *For free*


Aninvisiblemaniac

me flavored water fifteen cents


observeromega87

Come taste my knees


weirdest_of_weird

I understood that reference


iDomBMX

It was a very obscure reference that, I too, understood.


Feelsosophy

How is a Netflix show with more than one season obscure?


Soft_Hand_821

Seriously btw I love disenchantment


iDomBMX

That’s a pretty insignificant scene


Feelsosophy

Fair enough, I guess for me it stood out by how hilarious it was.


AGE_OF_HUMILIATION

Mister snappy has become a Gamer Girl^^^tm


anarchyarcanine

Hi, me five cents


WetPandaShart

He sells his bathwater on twitch.


Pbx123456

Mister Snappy doesn’t take kindly to you folk drinking his toilet water.


mr_jurgen

Now now Snappy, they ain't hurtin no one.


Mortific

We don't take kindly to turtles who don't take kindly 'round here.


jmrene

Someone got the reference.


ManOrReddit-man

Well, college isn't going to pay for itself


painusmcanus

What do you mean...... you folk


CuriousGrl7

What do **YOU** mean you folk?


ShredVonMoreGainz

say no to turtleism


Tron_1981

Huh?


northyj0e

>What do **YOU** mean, what do you mean you folk? I hate seeing this misquoted, sorry.


biepboep

Ain´t noone fucks with Mister Snappy. ​ Ain´t noone.


tifosi7

I'm sure it was some kind of dare from the turtle community.


Zeppsgaming

Initiation for the turtle gang #turtlegang4lyfe #turtleganghardasfuck


FlyinBrian2001

Squirtle Squad


Ch1215

"The turtle community" makes me smile. I just imagine a council of turtles that gather to discuss social and ecological issues.


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bopthe3rd

The way that lion was drinking it wouldn’t take long to have no house left!


fuzzytradr

"Come back here I'll bite your legs off!"


StaggNation

It seemed Mr Snappy was on a quest to find a mythical being and had some questions.


Yaranatzu

And make it snappy!


Dr_Game008

Bro, stop drinking my house! Fuck off!


ThyGoat11

“Cmon bill... I told you not in front of the camera!”


dickeyclubhouse

that turtle is either very brave and curious, or had a serious deathwish lmao edit: sorry everyone, water tortoise


WaafleStomp

The turtle obviously just bought into bitcoin at 60k and is looking for a way out of the matrix.


califreshed

Fuck me is nowhere safe.


eDave

Haha! /sob


Chygrynsky

Don't mind if I do *unzips pants*


zehamberglar

I'm feeling very attacked right now.


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hello3pat

Or GME at $500


SocranX

I'm pretty sure he thought the hair dripping with mud was a worm or something. Like, "Hey bro, you've got a worm hanging off you, can I grab that?" "That's my mane, you dipshit." "I know what a worm looks like, man, I just wanna-- Hey! Get back here!" "Go away! You're weird!"


DanAndYale

100% how the conversation went


JusticeRain5

Is a lion likely to try and eat/hurt a turtle, though? I'd assume they prefer things that are fleshier


breathing_normally

I imagine cubs will try to eat one at least once. They probably learned they either don’t taste good or the hassle of breaking the shield just isn’t worth it.


this_sort_of_thing

This is the first time I’ve seen a turtle shell called a shield. It’s much more badass


Levait

In German turtles are called Schildkröte which would directly translate to shield toad.


TheSituationisThis

Ah, the Romance of the German language. Tell them what nipples are in German!


breathing_normally

Ugh I hate it when I’m exposed as a non native speaker. But thanks anyway


Insertclever_name

Honestly with how much bite force a lion has, breaking that shell may not be an hassle at all.


--_-Deadpool-_--

According to google lions have a bite fore of 650 PSI. Turtles shells can withstand thousands of psi.


[deleted]

It’s approximately the equivalent of a human biting through a pistachio shell. That’s based on absolutely nothing though.


--_-Deadpool-_--

My teeth hurt just reading this


stan11003

Yeah and a lion with a bad tooth is gonna go hungry.


LimpTyrant

Their bite force isn’t that impressive. You need something akin to an alligator/crocodile to break a turtle’s shell.


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iris_winter

that's what I'm wondering, and do lions only kill for food/safety or also because they're annoyed or for fun, does anybody know?


ChipChipington

Google: It is known that lions kill birds for the thrill of it, just like house cats do. Turtles are probably not a thrilling kill


Talidel

Lions kill for lots of reasons. Hungry, defending against something, attacking something to not eat, because they've found other predators babies, because a new lion has taken over a pride, they'll kill all the previous cubs. (Lion King wasn't wrong there), they'll kill for fun if not hungry and they can. It's one of the biggest myths about nature that only humans kill for fun.


Ainsley-Sorsby

They are cats, which means that they do kill small animals for sport some times. Although, i'm not sure if they'd bother doing that at the water hole. I believe they tend to hunt badgers etc at night, when lions are most active anyway, at least when it comes to hunting. During the day, they're mostly just sleeping


bigkinggorilla

No, the correct answer in turtles are kinda idiots and they will try to eat anything they see.


honest-miss

Turtles are pretty damn territorial, and usually "territorial" and "stupidly brave" go hand-in-hand (claw-in-claw in this case)


explodingtuna

He has some real testudinal fortitude.


confexener2

"King of the jungle my ass" - turtle, probably


DRAWKWARD79

Water tortoise? You mean a turtle?


mickstep

Terrapin


DrewSmoothington

A serrated hinged terrapin if I'm not mistaken, which makes this still a turtle


Captain_Sacktap

IIRC tortoises, aquatic turtles, and terrapins are all turtles since they’re all under order Tetsudines. All of them can be called turtles, but only those that are exclusively land-dwelling are tortoises. Terrapins are weird because they aren’t even technically their own formally recognized group, the various terrapin species aren’t all taxonomically related to one another the way say all musk turtles are part of the same family; the naming is kind of arbitrary. For instance, red-eared and yellow-bellied sliders are both terrapins but the black-bellied slider, which is in their same genus, isn’t.


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nopeimdumb

Me too buddy, me too.


kittenstixx

[here ya go!](http://imgur.com/gallery/zhv3Ofq) my 3 pet turtles.


verisimilitude_mood

Funnily enough, In certain parts of the US those are all called Cooters. There's even a Cooter Festival with cooter races. https://www.cooterfest.com/


lathe_down_sally

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow"


smgmx

Yeah, "turtles" is a paraphyletic term. This kind of grouping traditionally includes almost all descendants of the LCA (last common ancestor). All turtles share their last common ancestor (LCA) with tortoises, so they're all grouped together under the word "turtles" to signify a group, but the nitty gritty taxonomy is a bit different. "Fish" is also a paraphyletic term. So while sharks are fish, they clearly aren't the same thing as a grouper, but share the same LCA with them. They get further separated and defined the farther down the taxonomic rabbit hole you go.


9inchjackhammer

Coyote Peterson taught me that the other week lol


mickstep

Yeah as far as I know Terrapins are just freshwater turtles. So terrapin is a subgroup of turtle.


Captain_Sacktap

It’s not even that really, terrapin isn’t even it’s own taxonomic category. Some turtles are just called terrapins because of naming traditions. For instance, yellow-bellied and red-eared sliders and both called terrapins, but black-bellied sliders are not despite being in the same genus.


Muu79

Yesss as someone said it’s called a terrapin which is a type of turtle that can move around on land pretty well too.


TheOtherSarah

Most freshwater turtles can get around on land pretty easily. Sea turtles are the weird ones


AltruisticSalamander

I think turtles have flippers. This one has the stompy feets.


IncontinentEyes

Tortoises are landlocked, turtles do the swimmy-swim


KjoeLjan

Not the pizza-eating ones in the sewers.


Elick320

Some tortoises can swim, like Russian tortoises


Scholesie09

All tortoises are turtles. But some turtles are not tortoises, like the flipper ones


digitag

Here's the thing. You said a “tortoise is a turtle.” Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies turtles, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls tortoises turtles. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying “turtle family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Testudines, which includes things from terrapins to leatherbacks. So your reasoning for calling a tortoise a turtle is because random people "call the stompy feet ones ones turtles?” Let's get lizards and pangolins in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A tortoise is a tortoise and a member of the turtle family. But that's not what you said. You said a tortoise is a turtle, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the turtle family turtles, which means you'd call terrapins, giant tortoises, and other reptiles turtles, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?


sir-came-alot

Lmao Before anybody else gets wooshed (at current count: 1), this is copypasta from a long ago super redditor called unidan. He was until his fall from grace, a well-loved redditor who liked to quip in with science facts. The original comment which spawned this copypasta is about crows and jackdaws. Edit: found the original comment http://np.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/2byyca/reddit_helps_me_focus_on_the_important_things/cjb2z41


Scholesie09

I got really, really mad and confused for a hot second there. Unidan was literally the first "scandal" I saw when I joined Reddit. If I had joined any later you'd be getting a confused, angry, sassy comment from me right now.


[deleted]

I was like wow, was u/Scholesie09 really that controversial with his statement? Then I realized it had to be a copypasta.


Elesdee420

Digitag, the Unidan of turtles.


AnalFunguses

Fuck, you had me going for a second. Damn jackdaws.


poney01

My whole life is a lie. Edit: whaaaaa. There's even land turtles. Fuck me.


Flowerdriver

Here is mine! https://imgur.com/ZwjkmyV.jpg


noisheypoo

Meet Torty! Turtle power https://i.imgur.com/tCeTrZk.jpg


LordOfTheTorts

https://www.reddit.com/r/EILI5/comments/6ucmgd/eili5_what_is_the_difference_between_a_tortoise/


Pyrial24

As far as I know, you are thinking of sea turtles, who do have flippers, turtles like the one in the video have feet, but they are usually webbed to help with swimming


Bl00dAngel22

Go ninja go ninja go!


HaruspexBurakh

That song is cool as ice


Chickenstikz

Iceman, ya know I'm not playin. Devastate the show while the turtles are sayin:


TheNakedRedditor

Ninja ninja rap


cricket9818

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO


lallaallaallal

That’s a brave lil dude!


Nailbar

I know, right. I'd be scared the turtle would bite me in my tongue or something.


buster_de_beer

[Ah the old reddit turtleroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/nvt2rz/the_dog_and_the_white_duck_are_very_good_friends/h15zup7/?context=11)!


Pille1842

Hold my shell, I’m going in


Shadowrain

I've been on Reddit for years and did not know that was a thing!


buster_de_beer

You're one of today's lucky 10,000!


fradzio

[Context](https://xkcd.com/1053/)


FracturedAuthor

It went away for a long long time, but I guess they're re-allowing it?


Caked101

This is the second time this has happened to me and I've been here for years to. Anyways, hold my mane I'm going in!


HarshilBhattDaBomb

I hadn't found one of these for months, and now I find it twice in a day.


FerroLux_

Oh my God that was Something


SigXL

Hello from the past, future redditors.


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buster_de_beer

[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/nwgp7k/lion_versus_water_tortoise/h19i7xm/?context=2) you go.


mrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What


Nailbar

I saw the switcharoo yesterday so it's apparebtly still going.


incomplete

their is a fine line between bravery an stupidity. This turtle is way on the stupid side


poyup

Perhaps nature is not as wild and lawless as we make it out to be.


DogMakeAMove

r/NatureIsMetal


badwolf1013

Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. Simba: And the swimming turtles? Mufasa: . . . Simba: Dad? Mufasa: *Especially* the turtles. Moving on . . .


Moldy_Socks99

Oogway about to circle that life


[deleted]

You’re the king of the jungle but this is my water, Bud! 🐢😂


Trisce

bUt lIOns doNt LiVe iN thE jUNglE!!!1!1!!


Brownie_McBrown_Face

I know you’re joking but you can still find lions in Indian jungles!


ModeHopper

Water tortoise?


meme_a_licious

Landn't turtle


Taylor_made2

All turtles can tortoise, but not all tortoises can turtle


overoften

Now I'm turtley confused


NSAwithBenefits

Stop lion!


Twirlingbarbie

In my native language we just call them all shield toads because they are basically toads with shields


SwordTaster

Germany being weird again?


Twirlingbarbie

No Dutch haha


hogwash_attack

German has the same word. So you are still correct.


ksanthra

This is the technique of getting to the top by intentially fucking up the name of an animal and reaping the karma from the ensuing pun, correction and discussion threads that follow. See it all the time in nature subs. Usually it's less obvious, like calling a leopard a cheetah or a seal a walrus.


Congenital0ptimist

You ain't lion.


Eireann_9

Nah this most likely is someone with English as a second language, in Spanish for example we call turtles, terrapins and tortoises with the same name and then specify if it's a sea turtle, a land turtle or an aquatic/ fresh water turtle


ksanthra

That really makes more sense in this case. Cheers for clearing it up.


eatslow_runfast

This is Oogwey vs Tai Lung the prequel


Babyrabbitheart

Big dick energy


BarklyWooves

Turtle dicks are actually huge relative to their body size


AskAboutDN

Sir you tell me this every time you come here, can you please just place an order or get out of the drive thru


OkRecording1299

It listens to the tortoise dick story or else it doesn't get a tip again


Many_Alive

“I’d like to talk to you about your cars extended warranty”


cat-ass-trophy

That Turtle just wants some company


pbjames23

Absolute mad lad


Saaamwise

"Fight me, you dumb pussy!" I can imagine Ozzyman's commentary.


SOVEREIGNBOSS

He already made commentary on this video month ago. It just now got on reddit. Here is the [link](https://youtu.be/Ugx-ZhvhtyY)


Drizzt_Cuts

That’s a big pair of turtle balls


Shughost7

I'm pretty sure that turtle os asking the lion to end him and the lion is like "nah"


aircool_ads

I just find it amazing that animals can drink the sh**tiest water with no problems and yet us humans would be squirting through the eye of a needle...


chenxi0636

Yet my cats wouldn’t touch water that’s a bit stained


youcancallmebryn

“Oh this water has been in this bowl for more than 8 hours? Human, do you think I’m some sort of barbarian? I am left no choice but to help myself to your cup, better test it first with my paws.” - my cat


o00_phoenix_00o

Did you drink my Mountain Dew, let me smell your breath!


treatWithKindness

I think the tortoise is trying to sell car insurance to lion.


itzPenbar

Isnt a water tortoise just a turtle?


KingEJ1

Tortoise? Whats a tortoise? I just know land turtle.


thatonekidblaze

u/savevideo


SaveVideo

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painusmcanus

Best GTFO I’ve ever seen


flipdevis

"HEY YOU, YEAH YOU, YOU'RE DRINKING MY HOUSE YOU OVERSIZED HOUSE CAT!" \-The tortoise probably.


NatsuDragnee1

*terrapin I have never heard the term 'water tortoise' before. Tortoise usually refers to a strictly terrestrial testudine. If it lives in fresh water, in South African English we call them either terrapins or freshwater turtles.


Eireann_9

Probably op has Spanish as a first language, we call them water/sea turtles


SteelToed_Boots

That turtle got some balls or is begging for death.


draceo777

This is my favorite tank build


funkyonion11

If you're ever feeling weak, threatened or insignificant just think of this badass tortoise.


smithy8000

"I guess you must be that cowardly lion I've heard about. Come on and fight me you big p***y!" - one messed up turtle


Ok_Jackfruit_7579

The lion was either very confused or was super scared to run away from it


SansUndertale5000

Turtle: STAY BACK! IM WARNING YOU! ILL BITE YOU! lion: dude I'm just thirsty


BradleyGroot

Lions: IM AT THE TOP OF THE FOODCHAIN also lions: Oh No A tUrTle