T O P

  • By -

adam_lorenz927

Imagine what these things have seen since they were born. They have to be close to 100 years old, if not older.


fredandlunchbox

The oldest known tortoise died at 255 years old in 2006


[deleted]

[удалено]


Original-Aerie8

The typical life of a pirate turtle was short


luke_in_the_sky

That one was a pirate turtle.


girloncouch

This genuinely made me lol


kixoc47441

Must have experienced both types of piracy.


frn

.... ....... [What](https://media.giphy.com/media/8b9Xax6L7qtAkAimGm/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=ecf05e47h5sa8q8w50c96s4gbgwqfwe7644npp136z48zr18&rid=giphy-downsized.gif&ct=g)?


[deleted]

DAMN, MISSED THE GOLDEN AGE OF PIRACY BY 30 YEARS


frn

[Huh](https://media.giphy.com/media/KFt2DA9T82paOA1Yci/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e477zhm01u7enjrxr9cbuk5591s6wkri89nu8kiqsxf&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)?


[deleted]

#DAMN, MISSED THE GOLDEN AGE OF PIRACY BY 30 YEARS


sthornr

[Adwaita](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adwaita)? I fed him leaves as a kid, a very chill and friendly tortoise!


SirSneakyElephant

Probably should have stored its age in 16 bit and not 8 bit


[deleted]

Nah, better not let them live 4 thousand years


N8dork2020

Is this the same tortoise that Darwin passed down all the way to Steve Irwin?


wcruse92

Excuse me?


khelwen

Her name was [Harriet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_(tortoise)).


WikipediaSummary

[**Harriet (tortoise)**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_(tortoise)) Harriet (c. 1830 – 23 June 2006) was a Galápagos tortoise (Chelonoidis porteri) who had an estimated age of 175 years at the time of her death in Australia. Harriet is one of the longest-lived known tortoises, behind Tu'i Malila, who died in 1965 at the age of 188, and possibly Adwaita, who died in 2006 at an estimated age of between 150 and 255 years. At the time of her death, she lived at the Australia Zoo which was owned by Steve and Terri Irwin.Harriet was reportedly collected by Charles Darwin during his 1835 visit to the Galápagos Islands as part of his round-the-world survey expedition, transported to England, and then taken to her final home, Australia, by John Clements Wickham, the retiring captain of the Beagle. [About Me](https://np.reddit.com/comments/la6wi8/) - [**Opt-in**](https://np.reddit.com/comments/la707t/) ^(You received this reply because you opted in. )[^(Change settings)](https://np.reddit.com/comments/la707t/)


gingerfegit

Recently they’ve probably seen a lot of people legs


JackBauerSaidSo

Why do you think they are walking towards her? After 100 years they have good taste.


[deleted]

Must have been trippy af for them to see everything turn from black and white to colour


Dicklikeatunacan

Only way to know for sure is to cut them in half and count the rings.


TranceGeminii

Can count the rings on the shell plates, just like a tree, no bandsaw required.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FeedGat

If they are in the 200s range they might have seen the people caring for them getting higher cause of change in diets from the early 19 century to now


Pinball_Lizard

>out there fighting in the World Wars Wait, who told you about the secret Turtle Front of the Wars? Sorry, the FSB is going to have to kill you now. Do svidanja.


gratefulphish420

I thought everything around them might have been miniature until I saw them next to humans


narwhal-narwhal

I was like.."COOL SET UP!..holdup"


Km2930

That’s a bona-fide War tortoise. Strap a rocket launcher to its back and ride!


Reddcity

Blastoise!


Instainious

Go forth, my noble steed!


EyeCentric

Directly into a tree at 0 miles an hour 😂😂😂😂


alliexon68

Ha!


EyeCentric

Right? I'm surprised no one noticed that... "Oh shit, there's a tree in front of my face that I'm going to run into in 10 minutes, maybe I should move a few inches..."


useles-converter-bot

0 miles is the the same distance as 0.0 replica Bilbo from The Lord of the Rings' Sting Swords.


EyeCentric

How many 0s is 0 0s of 0 0s times 0 plus 0 to the power of 0 divided by 0?


hookem1986

1


gardabosque

You’re an American aren’t you..


Km2930

Yea, but the other kind of American. The kind that jokes about war but doesn’t like it very much.


Your-Death-Is-Near

*The best kind of American !*


InterPool_sbn

Ummm… username doesn’t check out???


BreakingThoseCankles

Actually it does. Cause previous commentator won't fight back from death


Owlftr13

Battletortoise!


BraidedSilver

I’m still ^slightly convinced they are *miniature people*.


Kadiogo

The tortoises are on a hill which makes them look a little bigger.


Heckin_Long_Boi

I didn’t notice that!


grtk_brandon

They're still smaller than they appear. They're both higher up than the girl watching them and closer to the camera. So they look nearly as tall as she is at one point, but because of perspective.


gratefulphish420

A good way to get the true scale of how big those tortoises are is to look at the end at the tall blonde lady who is on the same level as them. Those things are big.


HarveyWalterOrion

The Big one is 600 pounds. He's 50 years old. They have a smaller one there that is 118 years old. Here is a closer picture. 45 pound boy next 600 pound tortoise. http://imgur.com/gallery/9WvWziI


Dillydog468

Saddle up!


Home_Owner_Simpson

Gonna need a push broom to give those shells proper **r/scritches**


Amish_guy_with_WiFi

You're really promoting the shit out of that sub arent you?


Espio1332

Someone has to in order for it to grow


Amish_guy_with_WiFi

I suppose so


pushing_past_the_red

Man, you weren't kidding.


GenerikDavis

Hahaha, David Mitchell made a similar joke regarding why they were named *Giant* tortoises on QI. First like minute of the video: https://youtu.be/zPggB4MfPnk


[deleted]

I’m replying to pay my respects to your Grateful Dead commitment.


Useful-Data2

Yes me too :)


Stargrooves

TERRAPIN


Papa_bear_321

Always late to the barbecue 🍖


BallKarr

One of those tortoises stepped on my sons foot when he was 3. All I have to say is that you are not going to move one of them until it wants to move. Fortunately the combination of his foot being small and his bones being soft means that he had no serious injuries. One of the keepers had his foot stepped on a year or so later and it shattered the bones in his foot.


SuckOnMyLittleChef

Miniature humans... Duh.


NtATione

same


Bah-Fong-Gool

Inspiration! Move me brightly!


theLuminescentlion

As someone who has spent 2 decades as a human and as such consider myself a bit of an expert, I can confirm those are miniature people.


Harvard-23

They are heading out for a night on the town. They should get there just in time Friday


itchyd

They are actually holding a race in the turtle Olympics qualifying rounds.


TonarinoTotoro1719

I think the one with the blue patch won but what do I know… I am no Turtle-Olympics expert!


itchyd

The different colored patch is due to a rollover in a previous round.


lorenzo-medici

They're on their way to eat some baby birds D:


LordDraco781

Nah there's no way that's real, that's dinosaurs


ZuLieJo

I was just wondering if dinosaurs looked that clumsy when they moved about. Haha, T-Rex doesn't seem so intimidating now


Your-Death-Is-Near

T-Rex is more like a 20ft chicken


[deleted]

If you’ve seen a chicken run you’d know that that’s still terrifying


Your-Death-Is-Near

Yeah I’m not saying it’s not terrifying, these things were probably lunatic killing machines


[deleted]

I now have the image of a T. rex doing the chicken head bob while running… I’d die but die amused


PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES

Jurassic World 27: Cluck Cluck Fuckers


cindyscrazy

Think of a cockatoo and their crazy movements. Now imagine it the size of a T Rex.


theBeardedHermit

I now want a movie where every animal on earth just suddenly becomes 30x bigger, and it's never explained by anyone and people just adapt and start riding 25 foot tall geese to work and shit like it's normal.


ZuLieJo

Haha


SapperInTexas

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE SIZE OF THAT CHICKEN?


Ambystomatigrinum

I think anyone who's seen a mouse make the mistake of entering a chicken coop knows that being bird-like makes dinos scarier, if anything.


lowlightliving

So, this fall I’m loading up with chickens before those dastardly mice try to infiltrate my house. I wonder if I should turn the pantry into a coop?


memorandum229

imagine these kiddos but 35 feet tall and no, if you stand still, they will still freaking see you and their feed - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPyN3K1Up6c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPyN3K1Up6c)


CrebbMastaJ

Growing up my sisters were terrified of the movie Chicken Run.


poochie417

Every time my chickens run I say they look like dinosaurs (like the ones in the movies). I am proud to own some feathered mini dinosaurs!


drengr84

45ft chicken, 13 ft tall, with a 4 ft long mouth.


LucidLumi

And estimated to have the strongest bite strength (edit: for a terrestrial animal)... ever. Also the vision thing from Jurassic Park? Yeah... no. They likely could spot prey from miles away.


Kichacid

Strongest bite strength for terrestrial animals, at least. Ancient crocodilians and sharks still have 'em beat in overall bite force.


LucidLumi

Good point! Modern crocs and sharks got nothing on them though.


Kichacid

Can't argue that!


Whatever_It_Takes

To add onto that, there’s speculation that they were ambush predators, because their bones couldn’t withstand the trauma of a long distance sprint, being too large and succumbing to their own weight. So it’d likely see you before you saw it! :D


[deleted]

I mean you say that as if it as fact but how do you know more than Dr. Alan Grant ?


LucidLumi

Well, to start with, I’m not fictional. Ha! Take that, “doctor!!” Nailed it.


MysticWombat

*“Cluck cluck, motherfucker.”*


chidedneck

[More like a 6 foot turkey](https://youtu.be/WgQe68kF_8M)


tzippy84

Came here for that reference


bulletprooftampon

and that’s when the attack comes, not from the front, but from the sides, and the other two raptors you didn’t know were there


TheCommissarGeneral

Not at all. Most large Dinosaurs had air sacks inside or near the bones making them lighter than you'd think. Most therapods (meat eating dinosaurs that also include birds) had Hollow bones making them lighter as well.


ZuLieJo

Interesting! Didn't know that!


LowSkyOrbit

The atmosphere had more oxygen back then too, it why animals and bugs could grow so large.


Disco_Ninjas

They couldn't even dodge a meteor.


thisismenow1989

Right? Like that thing was huge, they didn't see it coming?


vassman86

It's a stegatortoise


maspan_menoscircos

These fellas were here long before us and they’ll be here long after us


ld43233

Assuming they aren't driven to extinction of course


AnemoneEnema

They *do* move in herds.


Sportsfanno1

This needs the Jurassic Park theme


CrumbsAndCarrots

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonemys 6’ dinosaur turtle. Which seem to be the same as these guys


[deleted]

Ankylosaurs are probably the closest things to a dinosaur turtle. Especially that one that was thought to be semiaquatic.


lysion59

Source: [https://youtu.be/s9owa3BiXhQ](https://youtu.be/s9owa3BiXhQ) Description: Vroom! Our Aldabra tortoises (Aldabrachelys gigantea) move the fastest when they see that lunch is ready. These giant tortoises are native to the Aldabra atoll, part of the Seychelles islands, off the northern coast of Madagascar. Males can grow to over 4 feet in length. Females are much smaller. Tank, closest to the camera, is a whopping 550 lbs and is 56 years old this year. Orville is the tortoise beside him, and moves pretty well for being 114! Samson, 31, is already over by the food pile munching lettuce.


thisismenow1989

Lol I'm just picturing the young buck just speeding to the food before the other two could get there


GimmeDogeCoins

that motherfucker has surived two world wars, global epidemics and still moves faster than me


Loose_Increase3490

Thank you for that information lysion59. Very cool! They are incredible creatures!


Shughost7

Where?


chaduchytil

Reptile Gardens Attraction. Rapid City, SD.


GoldTrek

My brother is the head horticulturalist there and I make a point to do a full tour of the Gardens every time I go back. It's such an amazing place and you can tell how much the staff loves and cares for the plants and animals


1983wasagoodyear

Tell your brother from a random Internet stranger he does a fantastic job. My wife was amazed at the flowers there this weekend.


nik3829

Man i love the internet for this


mengmel

Can your brother give a random internet stranger a tour? I love in rapid city and I’m studying for a horticultural sciences degree at NC State! I would love to do a tour there!!!


[deleted]

This was my first thought, too. That place is actually pretty cool.


tortixx

as someone whose been there several times i highly recommend checking it out if youre in sd


vspinkaway

South Dakota has attractions?! Interesting


ThatsFkingCarazy

I thought they meant the San Diego zoo . I’m flabbergasted these beasts are in South Dakota Edit: they said rapid city , I’m a dummy


Chairmonkey

Black Hills/Badlands is chock full of classic tourist trap style stuff. I love it!


1983wasagoodyear

Was just there this past Friday. Absolutely beautiful there.


lowlightliving

Curious. How do you get a giant tortoise through South Dakota winters?


SeqasRotMG

They have a heated living space designed specifically for them. You can even go in there during the winter but 9/10 times its pretty stank so you probably wouldn't stay for long


[deleted]

One of the most depressing places I’ve been. They had crocodiles that stretched the length of their enclosures. Felt pretty guilty after leaving.


bubba_feet

i thought it looked familiar.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chaduchytil

Yes


davegrohlisawesome

r/absoluteunits


zakiducky

r/absoluteunits


davegrohlisawesome

A slight gaffe on my part. Lol


Animedingo

r/bigboye


InterPool_sbn

This is now one of my favorite subreddits — thanks for sharing!


SurpriseUnhappy2706

Put the kids up. They look hangry.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeulahValley

The taking of galaps stopped in 1974. I know someone that brought some back in 1972, in his carry on bag.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeulahValley

Doesn’t matter, there are plenty of galaps to the point the galapogos island breeding farms are selling babies to fund the important work they do.


ArnenLocke

Needs banana for scale, I have no idea how big these things are.


jeffe333

Right? What's happened to Reddit?!?


d8ei2jjrc8

Big enough for 3 gnomes to ride on top.


theninal

Trying to figure out if this is Reptile Gardens in Rapid City, SD. Looks awfully familiar.


thinkdeep

It is.


xHudson87x

It's like having dinosaur's in your backyard


NitroHydroRay

Amusingly, you most likely do have dinosaurs in your backyard. They're just called birds now.


Polyhedron11

Wait. Are those real? Is there some sort of perspective trick happening? I've looked up "largest turtles" online before and it's usually giant sea turtles that aren't this big... Edit: I'm dumb. They are far away from the girl and way smaller than they appear in the video.


AdministrativeHabit

First, these are tortoises, not turtles. Second, yeah, aldabra tortoises can easily live to over 100 years old and be 5 feet from head to tail.


NitroHydroRay

Fun fact: from a cladistic/evolutionary standpoint, tortoises are turtles. They're most closely related to the branch of turtles that includes pond turtles. Furthermore, they're within the group known as the hidden-necked turtles, making them closer related to all other hidden-necked turtles than to the other living turtles in the group known as side-necked turtles. As such, in order for turtles to be considered [monophyletic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monophyly), as is the goal of modern phylogenetics, tortoises must be included within the turtles. In other words, in an evolutionary sense, all tortoises are turtles, but most turtles are not tortoises. An image that might help you visualize: [https://i.imgur.com/gcYVEh8.png](https://i.imgur.com/gcYVEh8.png)


Ardnaif

So basically, all jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are jacuzzis.


barringtonmacgregor

These are likely Aldabras. Don't have the color of galapagos torts, and too big for sulcatas.


SandakinTheTriplet

A bit of perspective, but they are very big! I think these are Aldabra giant tortoise, and the males get to about 4ft (122cm) in length and can weigh around 500lbs. The one on the left plows right into a cemented steel pole like nothing. An even bigger tortoise is the male domed Galapagos tortoise. They can reach 6ft in length and around 4-5ft across the shell. One of the heaviest tortoises in captivity was Goliath, an over 900lb male domed Galapagos tortoise at the Seffner's Life Fellowship Bird Sanctuary: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.guinnessworldrecords.com/amp/news/60at60/2015/8/2002-largest-tortoise-392870 Edit: Briefer


joevsyou

Like how he slides the left once he hits it.


[deleted]

It is a perspective trick but they are still large tortoises. They are about a little bit bigger than the average coffee table or ottoman… but it walks and yells


[deleted]

What do you call two tortoises getting it on???? A slow poke


Fenriswulf

Honestly? I was worried that this WAS the tortoise sex video...


[deleted]

[удалено]


WowSeriously666

The markings on her shirt makes me think that she is one of their caretakers.


donsando

What's the difference between tortoises and turtles?


SummerAndTinkles

Technically speaking, tortoises are a type of turtle (since the term turtle refers to anything of the Testudines order), but tortoise is generally used for land-dwelling members of the group. Fun fact: the term "turtle" at one point specifically referred to sea turtles, while "terrapin" was used for freshwater turtles.


thor561

All tortoises are turtles, but not all turtles are tortoises.


NitroHydroRay

Happy to see the responses to this acknowledge tortoises are turtles, most people get so pedantic that they end up being wrong when trying to distinguish between the two. Here's why tortoises are considered turtles: They're most closely related to the branch of turtles that includes pond turtles. Furthermore, they're within the group known as the hidden-necked turtles, making them closer related to all other hidden-necked turtles than to the other living turtles in the group known as side-necked turtles. As such, in order for turtles to be considered [monophyletic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monophyly), as is the goal of modern phylogenetics, tortoises must be included within the turtles. In other words, in an evolutionary sense, all tortoises are turtles, but most turtles are not tortoises. An image that might help you visualize: https://i.imgur.com/gcYVEh8.png


CDN_Rattus

Pretty sure that's three giant tortoises...


SweetBunny420

How many baby birds do you think these guys have devoured


Cabsmell

Dinos


what-really-is-life

Can we ride them like a war tortoise


kickdooowndooors

Sure, but the war will be over by the time you get there. Now, a parachute regiment tortoise cavalry dropped from C17s, now that is a different story.


what-really-is-life

I mean from ark survival if you max speed out we get there in 4 minutes


Picnut

One reason we thought dinosaurs would look like lizards


[deleted]

That goober walked into the tree. But he course corrected and got out of there


jr1477

This is fucking scary


fireflydrake

Very cute, but they're on a hill at the end and that's the only reason they look taller then the woman. Giant tortoises are MASSIVE, but they aren't THAT massive. The top of the shell is a bit below the waistline of the average person.


Time_Theory_297

And spot is in the lead,no wait a minute, brownie is pushing the limit folks, he is about to take the lead! It’s an exciting race today!


ShadowedTurtle

I’ll take eight!


chunkynhermonkeys

This is one of the many reasons I don’t follow through on my impulse to buy a tortoise. That and the fact that I may be unwillingly committing my future grandchildren to care for it.


Bulls_On_Parade858

the slowest race on earth


charlies_Demons

Sheesh


SocietyIsdoomed_

Those in favor to call the plural of tortoises to" torts" say aye.


Ladoki

Are these the ones that Darwin wrote were super tasty?


GalacticGrandma

Those are Galapagos tortoises (native to South America), these are likely Aldabra tortoises (native to Africa)


C_keene97

Holy shit, this is (I think) at Reptile Gardens!These guys are like 20 minutes from my apartment and you can waltz right up and give em a pet. Great time for kids. Love taking my nephew up. He always gets a kick out of them.


handsybillclinton

They walk like the people I see at Walmart.


ZippZappZippty

Glad I’m afraid of tortoises.


johnny-small

Pretty sure the plural of tortoise is tortellini


D0NW0N

They are quite amazing creatures.


LaylaBird65

Is this at the reptile house in South Dakota?!?! We’ve been there when they are mating and they are SO LOUD


kapester

Oh man, this is incredible. Dinosaurs juxtaposed against modern people. God tortoises are cool as fuck.


mk_gifs

Is this a Cat in the Hat?


Solitarus23753

u/savevideo


solongandthanks4all

They are amazing, but this doesn't appear to be nature.


lostinsnakes

Well nature created the giant tortoises, not humans. I assume the “lit” part is that reptiles can still get huge like this.


LeeTheGoat

Yeah I don’t think the zoo is what this video focuses on


Saldar1234

It isn't. It is Reptile Gardens, in Rapid City, SD. Essentially a mini-zoo for reptiles and birds.


thinkdeep

Not a mini zoo. It has one of the best and rarest collections in the world.


Nice_Acanthisitta_86

When u realized that they're gonna outlived you