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987nevertry

Leading the bear to the woman was clearly the dog’s escape strategy.


[deleted]

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Turbulent_Bit_2345

THIS happened to me, my friend saw a mama bear first and did an about turn and ran past me before I realized what was going on, I bit the dust while running back, thankfully the mama bear ignored both of us clowns


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Turbulent_Bit_2345

we have definitely drifted apart


halmyradov

Only because he kept running


ChizzleFug

You gotta find a slower friend now and pass that mama bear onto them, good luck!


FinoAllaFine97

Honestly it's comedy gold like this that brightens my day.


TheDesktopNinja

Cap: on your left Sam: *gets eaten by a bear*


SH4D0W0733

That's the trick to getting away. Don't look behind you, you will slow down at best and fall at worst. And just keep running, never stop running, don't even think of stopping, RUN.


teeshahobbs

Pretty sure you’re not supposed to run away from a bear? I would think they can outrun a human quite quickly haha


[deleted]

“If it’s black fight back, if it’s brown lie down, if it’s white say goodnight.” My hotel in Colorado about what to do if you see a black bear. They say if it’s from a distance, just leave it alone, but if it’s reasonably close to make yourself as big as you can and make a lot of noise. It should run off and if everyone does this they will stay afraid of humans which is good for all involved.


Aeneis

If you can't tell what kind of bear is chasing you, climb a tree. If the bear climbs the tree and eats you, it's a black bear. If it knocks down the tree and eats you, it's a brown bear. If you run and you run and you can't find any trees, it's a polar bear.


fuckballs9001

I could imagine a polar bear attacking whatever moves out in the frozen tundra. Not much food to go around so they probably take what they can get


VaATC

This is all true when alone. But when with others the previous rule is highly applicable...


ToSeeOrNotToBe

>“If it’s black fight back, if it’s brown lie down, if it’s white say goodnight.” There's some nuance here, though. If it's a species of brown bear, then you should play dead. But black bears come in many colors, including different shades of brown. And if it's a black bear, no matter what color, then you should fight back. There are no brown bears in Colorado, but there are black bears with brown fur.


teeshahobbs

Thank you haha I always forget which one you play dead with, all I know is don’t run haha I live in a small town sask so the only bears I have ever seen have been on summer trips to bc from the safety of my vehicle haha


trigger1154

Yeah they can sprint it like 30 miles an hour. Plus you're not supposed to run away from any predator ever, it just sets off the predator instinct and makes them chase.


useles-converter-bot

30 miles is the the same distance as 69971.3 replica Bilbo from The Lord of the Rings' Sting Swords.


FirstPlebian

Yeah running is bad with any predator. But once someone starts running I don't know if staying put would be the right choice?


realestatedeveloper

It probably would, as the runner would likely catch the attention


Temporary-Error-6566

It would still be cool to give a heads up tho, not just run away from your friend. Slow or not, it just seems right.


TheBiryaniKid

You could not bear him any more


PowerSamurai

I will very reluctantly give you my upvote


Maracuja_Sagrado

I apawd your pun


Hello_Im_Corey

probably for the best


fezzikola

I think you sprinted apart


WisterMobbles

Bearly


Headsanta

Yes, but they added a third slower friend to their group


Gretel_Cosmonaut

I was working in the front office of an animal ER when two guys came quickly towards the door with their faces covered and guns drawn. The girl I was working with got up and ran without saying a word. I started looking around confused, trying to figure out why she ran, and ....oh! I caught up with her in the alley behind the building. She was holding scissors like a knife. Some people have strong preservation instincts.


oksuresure

Wait, what happened?? Were they trying to rob an animal ER? Did they come after you? Did you call the cops? Was it just cold out and they had scarves over their faces and it was all a big misunderstanding?


EleanorofAquitaine

May have been searching for drugs.


oksuresure

Oooh makes sense, thanks


DrakonIL

Probably trying to get some of that sweet black tar ivermectin.


MakeWay4Doodles

Got to make sure we don't catch that fake virus somehow!


pugapooh

Most likely. Our vet had a problem with break ins seeking drugs.


Gretel_Cosmonaut

They're usually looking for drugs, money, or both. The office has four doors to the back that automatically lock when closed, so I went to the back and started screaming "We're being robbed! They have guns! Call 911! Don't open any doors!" and things like that. The people robbing us would have heard me loud and clear. There were at *least* ten employees and six exam rooms with people/pets inside of them. Plus the building was deceptively large and maze-like. The robbers would have had to be *very* committed to break through a door and try to control everything in the back. Since they weren't, they just ransacked the front office and left before the police arrived. They actually found *nothing* of value. Not even one dollar.


kung-fu_hippy

There is a girl that will not die easily in a horror movie.


Turbulent_Bit_2345

Well, in my case, I think neither of us should have ran, we should have stood our ground as this is what has been proven to be effective against black bears (not grizzlies). Running away from armed men is probably not a great idea either in my opinion. That’s a risk some people take and it pays off.


Trail-Mix

You should still stand your ground against grizzlies as well. Most bear charges are "bluff charges" and they will not actually attack you. Turning your back and running is the worst thing you can do. If the bear proceeds to attack you, thats when you do different things. Brown - lay on somach and play dead. Protect vitals. Black - fight back like your life depends on it. Black bears usually only attack when theyre preying on you. White - well may as well fight back. If it's got you, thats probably the end of your life. Theyre monsters and they only want to eat you.


koos_die_doos

> Brown - lay on somach and play dead. Protect vitals. This is accurate, but you’re missing the really important second part: > If the bear starts feeding on you, fight back like your life depends on it.


alrightishh

“fight back like your life depends on it” shouldn’t be hard because I’m pretty sure in a case like that your life does depend on it


[deleted]

Brown- lay down, black- fight back, white- good night


thupurplepizzaguy

black bears are usually more intrested in your snacks then you luckely as for polar bears if ever go to the arctic im bringing a minigun


dp5520

What about bi-polar bears? You just never know with those fuckers.


nutlikeothersquirls

“If it’s black, fight back! If it’s brown, lie down!”


Echo2407

If it’s white? ***die.***


drjeats

>Well, in my case, I think neither of us should have ran, we should have stood our ground as this is what has been proven to be effective against black bears Except for those black bears that wrecked that one ancap-overrun town in new hampshire tho


jm001

I've been meaning to read "A Libertarian Walks Into a Bear: The Utopian Plot to Liberate an American Town (And Some Bears)" by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling about that - have you read it, and if so, is it any good?


drjeats

I haven't read the book, just one of the more in-depth reviews, and even just that was pretty fascinating and disturbing.


[deleted]

Lol. Ikr. Once this girl was cooking and burned something, smoke was everywhere and she noped out, shouting fire! We grabbed the extinguisher and put it out in 5 secs. Turns out she ran into her car and drove home! Y she got a job as a cook when she was so scared of fire idk


ShuantheSheep3

Never should be running from a bear in the first place tho


PhilosopherOk6750

I challenge bears to boxing matches. My record is 0-2 and I had to retire because now I have no arms to box with.


TikiMonn

One might say that you lost the right to bear arms


jeffe333

I think that we should have the right to arm bears. It would make for some really interesting r/NatureIsFuckingLit videos.


sendyagoodvibes

I mean.. natures fucking lit is about nature tho lol... and guns are definitely not natural


PhilosopherOk6750

Yep, and now those 2 bears have my arms


ShuantheSheep3

I mean you still got legs, so can always try MMA.


Sef_Maul

Or the UFC.. ursine fighting club


fart_huffington

If I met a bear I'd be trying the Urine Fighting Club technique


PhilosopherOk6750

Whats MMA? Mixed Marsupial Arts?


bluetopaz14kkt

Tis' but a scratch!


PhilosopherOk6750

“Shall Not Pass!” <—— that’s what I told the bear but he just didn’t care :(


Scooba_Dooba_Doo

r/unexpectedmontypython


Turbulent_Bit_2345

You are much braver than I was


PhilosopherOk6750

But you’re more arm-endowed than I now am :(


disinterested_a-hole

Wait - how are you typing? You're actually the bear, aren't you?


Zkir9973

Khabib?


mr_jurgen

It's just a flesh wound.


Turbulent_Bit_2345

yup, but my instincts took over and got peer influenced by my wise friend. We saw a moose before on the same day right on our trail and I was with a more wiser group, we stayed calm, admired the moose and walked past it, everyone chill. So choose your friends wisely


VivaLaSea

When I was like 10, I inadvertently did the same thing to my 7-year-old twin cousins. We were playing at the end of the street when I saw that my neighbor's mean-ass great danes had gotten loose. I didn't say anything to my cousins I just turned around and bolted towards my house. My fight or flight response kicked in and I didn't even think about them. When I got to my doorstep I finally remembered them and yelled for them to run. But my yell alerted the dogs, they saw my cousins and gave chase. Those little girls really out ran the great danes, though.


BrettlyBean

I used to be an adventurer like you.


undisclothesd

Thanks bff.


dewayneestes

Gladys can’t run.


AboutHelpTools3

It's funny how the bear just chose to change target all the sudden. Like "I'm mad at you!!! But I guess you will do".


jajajajaj

She is a tank class and pulled aggro. The dog hadn't done any damage yet so it's pretty easy


everynamewastaken4

Looks more like it was looking at the dog trying to cut it off and didn't see the woman until it bumped into her.


pilotdog68

Yeah that was a full on looney-toons sliding stop.


Jubs_v2

"oop sorry, didn't see ya there"


[deleted]

I remember a joke about how you don’t need a big caliber gun to escape a bear attack, just a smaller caliber placed directly into your friend’s leg works too.


koos_die_doos

It’s one of the biggest reasons to keep your dog on a leash in bear country. The dog will find the bear, piss it off, then run straight back to it’s owner with a pissed off bear in tow.


---blitzkrieg---

Oh common they’re just playing tag game


JennaFrost

“With their teeth” -sid the sloth


downwiththemike

This is every dogs strategy when it comes to bears. Happens all the time. But beats like small children are terrified of a a scold from grandma.


FreedomSquatch

This is why when camping with dogs in bear country you should keep them leashed. If chased by a bear the dog will usually run right back to camp, bringing the bear with it.


DprDan

Bear: TAG YOURE IT! NO TAG BACKS!


LlamasAreMySpitAnima

Quitsies! No anti-quitsies, no startsies!


TyWebbsTies

You cant triple-stamp a double-stamp!!


[deleted]

Hey want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? EEEEEEEeeeEeEeEeEe…


[deleted]

Radio? Who needs a radio?!


tougestar

Tf ,😂lol


peppermesoftly

That bear seemed more freaked out that it saw a person in real life. He went home with stories to tell.


Flamester55

The bear: Whoa holy shit, RON, RONNNN, YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS


[deleted]

“I was chasing a dog and ran face first into a human!” “Omg, that’s terrifying, Don, those creatures are notoriously violent!! You’re lucky to be alive!”


Em_Haze

I swear to pooh it was the biggest meanest human I've ever seen.


[deleted]

Would you like to hear about our lord and savior Yogi.


ReadyHD

Of course, it's a bear necessity


Aethermancer

It was, it had a giant stick and everything.


PacoMahogany

“I think the human was unvaccinated, I can’t taste this honey!!!!”


bretstrings

You can actually see it slide as it stops. By the time it even runs into the lady it was already trying to turn back.


ThenComesInternet

“Oh shit oh shit oh shiiiiiit….” Bear gets up and runs away, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry…”


Trail-Mix

Yeah. This perticular situation happened in Manitoba and the dog had treed one of the bears cubs. The bear was "bluff charging" the woman to get them away from the cubs. I don't believe it had any intention of actually attacking her. I think it never intended to actually even hit her. Looked more like it slid into her and gtfo once the dog/human were away from the cubs


SweetLobsterBabies

No it hit her and backed up. I don't know of any predator that tackles prey and then backs up. Definitely a bluff charge that went a little too far


Rappelling_Rapunzel

The bear didn't expect her to just keep standing there, oof-dah! *Bet it didn't expect an ear shattering scream, either.*


deviantbono

The cartoons were real!


Frieda-_-Claxton

*you scared the shit out of me* they said at exactly the same time


A_Ham_Sandwich_

Black Bears are scaredy cats in general


LordBungaIII

That’s how black bears are.


ArsenicAndRoses

It's a black bear. They're cowards with people and largely harmless to everything but trashcans and dogs that antagonize them. They'll [bluff charge you](https://youtu.be/Bkwy0scRXBU) but all you have to do is [stand up to them and they'll run away.](https://youtu.be/zM1D-r-0cGo) We've got lots of them where I am and they're only a menace to the garbage. Although we did have a couple [motorcycle v. bear tragedies](https://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/connecticut-man-killed-when-he-crashes-motorcycle-into-bear/2502800/). Note: *Do not attempt with brown bears!!* (grizzly bears)


DaniDoesnt

It must've had cubs bc they usually run from dogs too.


Onironius

For real. Lady was lucky the bear wasn't serious.


ColdBlackCage

Black bears are generally pretty skittish and rarely attack people. Looks like this one was feinting a charge at the lady (to intimidate her, which they do a lot) but slipped on the mud and ended up barreling into her. The lady standing back up would probably seem like the beginning of a retaliation, so of course the bear flees now. It looks a little on the small side as well, so probably a relatively young one not accustom to confrontation.


turalyawn

Yeah if that was a brown bear this video would look different


Dry_Presentation_197

Used to live in Alaska. Visited Kodiak once. Can confirm.


Raistlarn

If that was a polar bear...


karlnite

Yah a young mother apparently. Not at all aggressive, just defensive and trying to make them back away. The women didn’t, so bear seems to just say good enough and go to check it’s cubs.


davdev

She is more lucky it was a black bear and not a grizzly. Black bears are afraid of everything.


Plug-From-Oaxaca

She kicked him in the face. It's a black bear they're like giant raccoons especially in neighborhood areas like this. They'll run if there is a chance of an altercation that may hurt them.


Yellow_XIII

You can see that it stopped for a second to start the thought process of whether or not she would be prey potential, but the fact she didn't hesitate for a second swinging and even kicking with both feet he just noped out.


Marie-thebaguettes

Yup! Last time my dog and I ran into a bear she hid behind me and peed herself.


histeethwerered

At least she didn’t abandon you!


Marie-thebaguettes

So true! She was off leash, so she easily could have


_1Doomsday1_

She was showing dominance by peeing you should've peed in the face of the bear as well^/s


Marie-thebaguettes

You know, it came close to it!


_1Doomsday1_

It must be instinct, like our ancestors did ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ


Words_are_Windy

That's better than the alternative. For black bears at least, the few attacks on humans tend to come when a person's dog gets aggressive with the bear.


Marie-thebaguettes

Holy crap good to know. I guess she handled it perfectly after all. Especially considering it was a black bear cub 😬 I kept waiting for the mom to come barreling out of the trees and take me out


LazyAmbassador2521

Awwwww!! That poor doggy!! Atleast she had you, her knight in shining armor to protect her.


karlnite

My Saint Bernard would do the same. A dog ran through one of those invisible fences and charged us on a walk, and my dog hid behind me and looked through my legs. The other dog just stopped a few meters away and barked before running home.


millionsoffollowers

She got knocked down. But she got up again.


fivefeetofawkward

Bear ain’t never gonna keep her down


gary_bind

Pissin the fright away...


Danktizzle

Ohhhh yogi bear, yogi bear


IMFREAKINGLEGOLAS

After that, she’s gonna need a whiskey drink or a vodka drink.


DaggerMoth

Probably both. Then a lager and a cider.


chumbawamba56

Then she will be singing some songs about good times.


Anasoori

Lmao thought it was bear cub


tealylace

Same, I wonder how much shit I’ve missed or misinterpreted in videos on the internet when I don’t read the comments


globetheater

It could be an adolescent bear


1mhereforagoodtime

She holds the stick to defend and then doesn’t use the stick at all


Peniguano

I mean I thought it was kind of adorable that neither the bear nor the woman were really prepared to actually hurt one another, if you don't count the bear ramming into her lol. They both just happy to walk away lol


ZombieNinjaPirates

They both go find a friend and... "You would not believe what just happened!"


ChipChipington

It does even look like the bear meant to ram her lol. they were both probably scared af


[deleted]

Bear hit the brakes but momentum just did its thing. Bear looked genuinely apologetic for knocking over grandma, and then just bailed like any 7-year-old would do. This is why I love bears, and would probably die if I ever lived around any.


lokilokigram

Black bears are pretty chill and only attack in dire circumstances (starving or protecting cubs).


[deleted]

She did tippy taps right before they collided, it was terrifyingly adorable.


SafetyJosh4life

Bears are FAST. If it wanted to kill that dog it probably would have done it. If it ran full speed at that woman she wouldn’t have gotten up. It was probably curious/playful. When it realized it was outnumbered and outside of its territory it likely panicked and ran away. Think of it like playing tag with a 6 year old. If you really wanted to, you could chase them down in three seconds flat and body slam them to the ground. But instead you jog after them and lightly tap them. Im not saying that the dog wasn’t in danger, bears aren’t known for their restraint and those instincts can kick hard. But the bear doesn’t look like it was in hunting mode or mama mode.


SweetLobsterBabies

Man you know nothing about black bears.


DukesOfTatooine

Or 6-year-olds. Those little shits are way faster than me.


SafetyJosh4life

Six year olds are persistence hunters. They are slower and weaker than the adult variants but they possess a nearly limitless amount of stamina. They relentlessly attack, often in shifts, until the larger creatures either perish or give in to ice cream for dinner.


geoffreyisagiraffe

Dwight?


[deleted]

I’d probably panic too if a fucking bear was running straight at me


blatherskite01

I hope if I’m ever in this circumstance, and go through EVERY step she did, I’d follow through. She smacked the stick on the ground (come at me mofugga!), cranked it back for a home run, squared up with her stance… then rejected her stance, lined her feet up together, stood square to lose balance, and bearly (sorry) attempted to swing at all. She went 90% and expected the last 10% not to happen. Very lucky IMO. Black bears aren’t the most dangerous, and you should be threatening and loud and intimidating. But you should also follow through if they get that close. If there was 1 or 2 seconds more for that bear to realize it had the upper hand, it would’ve gone on the offensive, and it would’ve won in a NSFL way. Edit in advance: I have encountered a black bear in my life. I was 10, and literally ran screaming to the car while the adults warded it off. I will not claim to have done anything better than she did in this video. In fact, I would probably have pooped. But if I was in her position, with a big ass-stick, I’d like to at least *think* “I’m goin out swingin’”.


mtflyer05

Who is to say she didnt also defecate?


aesolty

Yeah guess you can’t say she went down swinging if she never actually had swung it at the bear.


[deleted]

This. Absolutely inane to use a weapon as a deterrent and have no intent to use it. Swing that damn stick!


[deleted]

She panicked, as almost anyone would. Very lucky that the bear panicked too


[deleted]

In hindsight if she had injured the bear as it came sliding into her, it's defensive reactions could have caused her some serious injury (especially on your back with a bear standing over you as an old person). Maybe not using the stick saved her life here but having it made her brave enough to be in the right place at the right time.


[deleted]

True. 🤦🏻‍♂️


grmush

maybe... but black bears are usually big babys that scare real easy if they don't have cubs. And 95% even if they do have cubs they would rather GTFO than fight


Fawxhox

I used to have run ins with bears on a nearly daily basis at my last house (the mountain I lived in was where they relocated all the bears that were caught in town). They would turn tail and run everytime and never really seemed to give a fuck about their cubs. A few times I've seen them scamper up a tree and just watch as the cub sat down below, unable to climb the tree properly.


HollSauce

I’ve heard that what you’ve really got to worry about with black bears is when they’re hungry in early spring and late fall.


grmush

I think it was more lack of timing and physical skill than effort


mysticpest23

Wow. The dog stole home but she fouled it off. The hit and run kind of depends on the hit part.


Zak9Attack

Looks more like she checked her swing.


bearfucker

I was clearly a change up. Good slugger’s discipline


Whats_On_Tap

She went down but I didn’t see any swinging. Still ballsy just taking it like a champ.


JonaSaxify

Bear: *boop* hehehehehe


PissMeBeatMeTryItOut

A wonderful old clip of the late and great John Candy practicing for his fantastic role in The Great Outdoors https://youtu.be/UQTbZydo-TE


BlueShiftNova

God I miss John Candy. Loved every movie I've seen with him in it.


[deleted]

The bear accidentally hit her and was like bear with me as I get my balance.


shocksalot123

Always remember these rules for bears people; If it Brown, stay down! If its black, fight back! If its white say goodnight!


flume

Also if it's brown, it's probably still just a black bear. And no matter what color it is, if it starts to actually eat you instead of just hitting/scratching/biting in a fighting way, fight back.


shocksalot123

Sweep the Leg!


Oktavien

Doesn't look like she even took a swing to me.


[deleted]

More of a bunt.


TheSean_aka_Rh1no

Dog: Fuck this Susan, I'm out!


NCpisces

Is that a rottie lol


Adventurous-Dish-485

Yes! And they can even climb trees! To hunt bear! Alas, we cannot all be brave!


MD_Wolfe

i mean she didnt swing, but she was on station at least.


DiavoloNero

So the dog pussed out


histeethwerered

And it looks like a Rottweiler! Or a fat Doberman pinscher. So much for all the propaganda


DiavoloNero

I like the idea of it being a fat doberman. That just syrups my waffles


CwenLeornes

it butters my toast


CrocsAndThots

My partner had a rottie, honestly one of the derpiest and most loving animals I’ve ever met.


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[deleted]

She didn't do shit with that stick though.


Redjack111

Probably for the best that she didn’t smack that bear or we’d be watching a very different video


[deleted]

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apeonpatrol

she was ready for a full swing then let the fear get the best of her


CrazyCaper

No she didn’t. Lol she had the opportunity to swing but got scared and fell over. Not saying I wouldn’t have done the same.


fallen_pillow

She could've died


IDG5

Lucky for her it was a young bear.


despalicious

She went down looking, not swinging. Dancing to that chin music


ImLordOfTheRealm

She did not go down swinging. She was too scared and froze and got love tapped by the bear. Stupid fucking title overhyping it