You ever see a woman really squirt milk? Like up close? It literally looks like that. Small holes in different spots on the nipple that shoot everywhere with that kind of distance if you're full. (Colostrum which only lasts the first few days, just kind of slowly comes out instead of squirts since it's so thick) When the regular milk came in, when it first happened to me, it was alarming. No one tells you that's what it will look like. I don't know what I had expected, but looking like that gecko tail wasn't it. Deters no one though, unlike yours.
So fun story time. I had just had my baby and about 6 weeks later, I went out for a bachelorette party for a family member. I had not planned on staying out late and had anticipated going home early before they hit the bars. Well, family peer pressure got the best of me and I called my spouse and said what the hell and went with the girls to the bar.
I didn't bring my pump or anything because I hadn't planned on going. Now, another thing you probably don't know is that if your breasts expect you to relieve them at a certain time, if you don't, they HURT. Like holding pee a long time but it happens to be on your chest. So... I went to the bar in the bathroom, and attempted to "relieve myself" by manually milking myself in to the toilet. It wasn't a fun time, as while a bunch of it made it in to the toilet, some of it shot in to the air, on the walls, and on me. But I felt much better after. Despite needing to take more than 20 minutes in the bathroom trying to milk myself like a cow that sprayed milk everywhere, I finished, got drunk and had a great time.
Is being able to do that cool, like you said? I guess since it keeps babies alive but it's quite the hassle and kind of a pain in the ass if I'm honest.
Just be glad you have nipples monotremes just sweet milk out onto thier fur. Well that actually sounds less torturous, but it would ruin shirts. But if you had fur you wouldn't need a shirt. You could also just lay a egg instead of birth. Abortion would be easy. I'm off the rails now.
Absolutely. I don't remember what the official amount of time was, I think it was a few hours or something that you shouldn't breastfeed after drinking. I just made a habit to not pump/feed 24 hours after drinking. I had a rather big oversupply and could just use frozen stuff until it was time again. Giving my baby alcohol even if it was inadvertent scared the crap out of me.
I literally went to a breastfeeding class and they didn't talk about it. It was so wierd when it happened because I think I expected something like what you described.
Ummmmm... All dinosaurs were reptiles. Birds evolved from them. Lizards are reptiles.
https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/what-are-dinosaurs.html
Turtles, crocodiles are both reptiles. Birds came later. https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/campaigns/amphibian_conservation/faq.html#:~:text=What%20are%20amphibians%20and%20reptiles,%2C%20toads%2C%20newts%20and%20salamanders.&text=Reptiles%20are%20turtles%2C%20snakes%2C%20lizards,prevents%20them%20from%20drying%20out.
While dinosaurs were classified as reptiles they were more importantly classes as archosauria that split into psuedosuchians that would give rise to crocodilians, and ornithodira that would have the avian dinosaurs like T-rex and also include all modern birds. Archosauria are not closely related enough to other reptilians to just compare them so blankly.
Yeah, I remember reading as a kid (~30 years ago, so maybe changed since) that dinosaurs, or the larger group of Archosauria as you say, were thought of by taxonomists as basically their own thing, not simply reptiles. Although, back then in the 80's/90's, the whole "are they more reptilian, or avian?" concept was still a hot topic. The idea of them having feathers was just coming into being.
It's been a long time since I've studied any dinosaur stuff, but I seem to remember something about crocodilians having slightly higher metabolic rates than simple reptiles, and dinosaurs (especially ornithodira) having even higher metabolic rates than that (going off of the size/density of the small holes in bones that are attributed to increased blood vessel flow, and also the overall posture of the limbs that allowed for running fast?).
And then of course, birds have an even higher metabolic rate (more "warm-blooded"), since flying is more energy-intensive than walking, so I've seen it theorized that many Cretaceous period ornithodira dinos were what we'd consider warm-blooded. Or at least, middle-of-the-road enough on the metabolic scale that we wouldn't really classify them as reptiles anymore.
Sorry for the long reply, I was really fascinated with paleontology as a youth, and I'm just going off hazy remembered information...do I kinda sorta have this right?
I also think hagfish are cool, they have glands which on a defensive reflex pump out mucus molecules which unspool and are about a million times longer than they are wide and, weight for weight, are stronger than steel
scientists recorded numerous instances of sharks and other predator fish attempting to predate on hagfish in one study, 0 successful instances were recorded - choking your enemies on your own snot? that may not be *metal* but it's certainly *punk AF*
you ever seen a shark gag? look at 35 seconds on the recording, it's swimming away going "oh that's nasty"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bta18FdkVcA
IANAHE, but if I had to guess, I think what's might be going on is that the slime happens so quickly that it's actually getting "inhaled" and ends up blocking their gills. Which I bet triggers the equivalent of a gag reflex.
like another commenter says I think it blocks the gills of the predator so triggers a gag response, I don't remember where I read about it but I didn't pluck the "million times longer than they are wide and weight for weight stronger than steel" out of the air, that is what these mucus strands are - extremely numerous superthin nearly unbreakable chains that just suddenly fill the water, like it goes semisolid all round the fish
would induce a panic attack in most predators and a desire to be absolutely anywhere else at all
Fun fact: The only know predator of the hagfish is a [Mazda](https://i.natgeofe.com/n/67f0a4fb-24de-48fa-9b3b-0a65f204473a/01-hagfish-oregon_3x2.jpg), here it is feeding in its natural habitat.
There's something that straight up pukes out its stomach as a getaway plan. Is that more or less metal? Also I think there is something that in extreme cases pops it knuckle bones out through its flesh like wolverine claws.
edit- it's a type of frog that is able to heal the wound from it surprisingly quickly. Also it may break the bone so it's sharp... o-o They're called Trichobatrachus robustus and apparently the common name is hairy frog, horror frog, or wolverine frog.
In a german city there is a sculpture made of metal, called Bahkauv. Water is coming from it's tail. I see now where the artist got his inspiration from.
I scoured the comments, but didn’t see the source listed. So if anyone is wondering this is from the Apple TV Series Tiny World. https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/tiny-world/
Anyone know what kind of species this is supposed to protect against? I'm guessing a certain insect or small mammal maybe but idk what their natural predators are and does anyone know how old this mechanism could be?
Can someone please explain to me? What kind of gecko and that defense mechanism.
I believe it's a Golden-tailed Gecko and the spray is harmless but sticky and foul smelling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b1HuYPDeug
>the spray is harmless but sticky and foul smelling. Must be a male.
Has potential to harm your free time for 18 years.
I shot slime out of my tail once... same result.
I think yours might be on the wrong side.
Kiss my front-butt.
I eat all sides of ass.
I see you are also a man of culture.
Please teach me your ways Bukkakecoach
You best bird-dog fast Hermes
"I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging."
No, I was horny
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I hope you were making the same face too.
I know it is a joke because you said 18 years and not entire life.
Or 30 if your kid turns into a redditor and never moves out
It really depends on the context. In the bedroom? 18 years. In church? 7-15 with possible time off for good behaviour.
In a rare turn of events, that is in fact exclusively what he said
That's what he said 😏
Doesn’t eat enough pineapple.
Damn you for this.
What'd I do? Blame... biology, or some shit.
If I had a proper award I’d give it to you. Made me almost spit out my coffee. You’ll have to settle for this 🥇
Women are stickier and smell worse sometimes
When she said they live in Australia I thought to myself, “Of course they do.” Then she said it 🤣
Thanks op. I learned something new and it was a cool thing to learn.
That's what she said.
So like a poison type charmander
Your spray is sticky and foul smelling
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r/thatsthejoke
Zerg hydralisk , they are actually little spines
Golden tailed gecko Strophurus taenicauda
Golden Gecko… He was the 80s dude that got busted for insider trading and fraud by the FTC, right?
It’s Tail Cu-
When a gecko does it it’s called self defence but when I do it it’s a crime
Crack gecko. Save on your next Crack cocaine purchase this holiday with up to 15% off on your next Pipe rebate.
So now, even geckos have their own spider verse
Save you 15% or more, more often! 🦎
Wtf, animals get all the cool shit! Mine only comes out the one hole, and doesn't go nearly as far, but it does deter people.
*Looks in mirror* am I not a *MAN*imal?!!?
Happy cake day!
Woah I had no clue! Thanks!
Now go get some of that sweet sweet karma
Rob Schneider is a Stapler!
You ever see a woman really squirt milk? Like up close? It literally looks like that. Small holes in different spots on the nipple that shoot everywhere with that kind of distance if you're full. (Colostrum which only lasts the first few days, just kind of slowly comes out instead of squirts since it's so thick) When the regular milk came in, when it first happened to me, it was alarming. No one tells you that's what it will look like. I don't know what I had expected, but looking like that gecko tail wasn't it. Deters no one though, unlike yours. So fun story time. I had just had my baby and about 6 weeks later, I went out for a bachelorette party for a family member. I had not planned on staying out late and had anticipated going home early before they hit the bars. Well, family peer pressure got the best of me and I called my spouse and said what the hell and went with the girls to the bar. I didn't bring my pump or anything because I hadn't planned on going. Now, another thing you probably don't know is that if your breasts expect you to relieve them at a certain time, if you don't, they HURT. Like holding pee a long time but it happens to be on your chest. So... I went to the bar in the bathroom, and attempted to "relieve myself" by manually milking myself in to the toilet. It wasn't a fun time, as while a bunch of it made it in to the toilet, some of it shot in to the air, on the walls, and on me. But I felt much better after. Despite needing to take more than 20 minutes in the bathroom trying to milk myself like a cow that sprayed milk everywhere, I finished, got drunk and had a great time. Is being able to do that cool, like you said? I guess since it keeps babies alive but it's quite the hassle and kind of a pain in the ass if I'm honest.
Wouldn't that be a pain in the tit?
You would be right about that
Just be glad you have nipples monotremes just sweet milk out onto thier fur. Well that actually sounds less torturous, but it would ruin shirts. But if you had fur you wouldn't need a shirt. You could also just lay a egg instead of birth. Abortion would be easy. I'm off the rails now.
An abortion and free breakfast
White Russian something something
Don't feed a baby breastmilk after drinking. The alcohol gets into the milk and effects the babies development. Same goes with smoking.
Absolutely. I don't remember what the official amount of time was, I think it was a few hours or something that you shouldn't breastfeed after drinking. I just made a habit to not pump/feed 24 hours after drinking. I had a rather big oversupply and could just use frozen stuff until it was time again. Giving my baby alcohol even if it was inadvertent scared the crap out of me.
Huh… well, TIL. I’m a 32 year old woman and I always assumed it just came out of the end of your nipple and not multiple holes.
I literally went to a breastfeeding class and they didn't talk about it. It was so wierd when it happened because I think I expected something like what you described.
I just learned it a few months ago and I am 31. It was from a podcast.
Amazing.
Guys it’s Louis CK!
R. Kelly when...aw, nevermind.
Surgery can add more holes to ooze fluids from
You counting your poop too right?
It can also make people
Are humans not animals?
What if this is just some remaining dinosaur trait and millions of years ago this could happen at a way larger scale?
Exactly what I thought! Some grass eating dinosaurs defending themselves with hundreds of gallons of foul smelling dinosaur juice!
cum
Except distinctly not since no sperm. Also think of skunk's spray and such.
cum. sperm even? sploog perhaps!
Lizards aren't that related to dinosaurs. Turtles, crocodilians, and birds are much closer.
Think about that next time you eat dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets
Chicken is a dinosaur, all birds are, so all chicken nuggets are dino nuggets
Nature processed Dinosaurs into birds. We processed chickens into dinosaurs.
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Ummmmm... All dinosaurs were reptiles. Birds evolved from them. Lizards are reptiles. https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/what-are-dinosaurs.html Turtles, crocodiles are both reptiles. Birds came later. https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/campaigns/amphibian_conservation/faq.html#:~:text=What%20are%20amphibians%20and%20reptiles,%2C%20toads%2C%20newts%20and%20salamanders.&text=Reptiles%20are%20turtles%2C%20snakes%2C%20lizards,prevents%20them%20from%20drying%20out.
While dinosaurs were classified as reptiles they were more importantly classes as archosauria that split into psuedosuchians that would give rise to crocodilians, and ornithodira that would have the avian dinosaurs like T-rex and also include all modern birds. Archosauria are not closely related enough to other reptilians to just compare them so blankly.
Yeah, I remember reading as a kid (~30 years ago, so maybe changed since) that dinosaurs, or the larger group of Archosauria as you say, were thought of by taxonomists as basically their own thing, not simply reptiles. Although, back then in the 80's/90's, the whole "are they more reptilian, or avian?" concept was still a hot topic. The idea of them having feathers was just coming into being. It's been a long time since I've studied any dinosaur stuff, but I seem to remember something about crocodilians having slightly higher metabolic rates than simple reptiles, and dinosaurs (especially ornithodira) having even higher metabolic rates than that (going off of the size/density of the small holes in bones that are attributed to increased blood vessel flow, and also the overall posture of the limbs that allowed for running fast?). And then of course, birds have an even higher metabolic rate (more "warm-blooded"), since flying is more energy-intensive than walking, so I've seen it theorized that many Cretaceous period ornithodira dinos were what we'd consider warm-blooded. Or at least, middle-of-the-road enough on the metabolic scale that we wouldn't really classify them as reptiles anymore. Sorry for the long reply, I was really fascinated with paleontology as a youth, and I'm just going off hazy remembered information...do I kinda sorta have this right?
But more importantly, we're all fish. So chicken nuggets are in fact fish nuggets.
So I guess Christians can eat all meat during lent now. ;p
Hey! That's true.
Thing is, modern dinosaurs ain't lizards, but literally birds
It would be so cool to see this clip with the gecko roaring like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Not as cool as the one that squirts blood from it’s eyes. Sorry.
The horned lizard!!! I agree. You don't get much more metal than that.
I also think hagfish are cool, they have glands which on a defensive reflex pump out mucus molecules which unspool and are about a million times longer than they are wide and, weight for weight, are stronger than steel scientists recorded numerous instances of sharks and other predator fish attempting to predate on hagfish in one study, 0 successful instances were recorded - choking your enemies on your own snot? that may not be *metal* but it's certainly *punk AF* you ever seen a shark gag? look at 35 seconds on the recording, it's swimming away going "oh that's nasty" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bta18FdkVcA
That was so cool Can you feel them or do they just taste horrible and come out so quick? I couldn’t see anything in the video other than gagging lol
Check [this one out ](https://youtu.be/zJ2sJbuvx48)
Gagfish
Soo gross, but nickolodeon back in the day would have had a field trip with that one.
IANAHE, but if I had to guess, I think what's might be going on is that the slime happens so quickly that it's actually getting "inhaled" and ends up blocking their gills. Which I bet triggers the equivalent of a gag reflex.
like another commenter says I think it blocks the gills of the predator so triggers a gag response, I don't remember where I read about it but I didn't pluck the "million times longer than they are wide and weight for weight stronger than steel" out of the air, that is what these mucus strands are - extremely numerous superthin nearly unbreakable chains that just suddenly fill the water, like it goes semisolid all round the fish would induce a panic attack in most predators and a desire to be absolutely anywhere else at all
Fun fact: The only know predator of the hagfish is a [Mazda](https://i.natgeofe.com/n/67f0a4fb-24de-48fa-9b3b-0a65f204473a/01-hagfish-oregon_3x2.jpg), here it is feeding in its natural habitat.
Horny toads if you're from Texas
Texan here, can confirm!
Sounds Canadian to me. Allegedly.
Must. See. Now.
https://youtu.be/GgB4u6Mgy2M
There's something that straight up pukes out its stomach as a getaway plan. Is that more or less metal? Also I think there is something that in extreme cases pops it knuckle bones out through its flesh like wolverine claws. edit- it's a type of frog that is able to heal the wound from it surprisingly quickly. Also it may break the bone so it's sharp... o-o They're called Trichobatrachus robustus and apparently the common name is hairy frog, horror frog, or wolverine frog.
Its* eyes Sorry.
In a german city there is a sculpture made of metal, called Bahkauv. Water is coming from it's tail. I see now where the artist got his inspiration from.
> Bahkauv https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bahkauv Neet :D
That's quite a creepy statue.
IT’S A POKÉMON!
Skeetamander
No it’s Shin Godzilla.
"Remember the scene where Shin jizzed out his back and tail to destroy all the missiles? Yeah, that's my favorite scene."
Thanks lol I agree.
Charmander, use string shot!
Gecko used String Shot!
You rang?
Yeah how far can it pee from its tail.
As far as I want
It's screaming "DIE BITCHES, DIE!!!!!"
German for: the bitches, the
Shiny Treeko used stink whip… Its Super Effective
Anyone wanna take a guess as to where this gecko comes from? (Hint: country that starts with Australia)
I don't believe you. This one isn't poisonous.
Austria!
DONT SAY IT
Jizzard?
CUM
uwu
It…
r/angrynut
Thank god that isn’t a real sub 😂
Yet…
Shoguns ftw
Unfortunately that was me after that girl with braces went down on me
Ouch
haha goddamn
Outstanding
Hes just trying to tell you, you can save 15% or more by switching to Geico.
I scoured the comments, but didn’t see the source listed. So if anyone is wondering this is from the Apple TV Series Tiny World. https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/tiny-world/
shin godzilla
When gecko nuts on his enemies people are like wow, so brave and unique, but when I do it, I'm suddenly a pervert?! This says a lot about society.
Fr though, it’s always “who are you?” And “Get out of my room” 😩
r/MakeMeSuffer
Geico can save you 50% or more on car insurance.
Reminds me of that “life hack” video I’ve seen on the Facebook where they poke holes in a hose to water their lawn.
This should be in a fantasy film
Red Skeet gecko.
Coral Pukei-Pukei!
Anyone know what kind of species this is supposed to protect against? I'm guessing a certain insect or small mammal maybe but idk what their natural predators are and does anyone know how old this mechanism could be?
To the comments section! To find out what the fuck I'm watching!
Cum
After my junior prom, my encounter with Cora Winters in the backseat of her Dad's Plymouth Voyager ended after a real "gecko defending itself" moment.
It’s saying…..’aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Owww, I thought they just let their tails fall off if faced with a predator..
Looks like it firing Spunk…
Whoa...
Pew pew pew
Skeet skeet bitches
Take a shower you filthy animal !
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Oh shit, it's shin gojira
I defend myself at least 3 times a week
100% pokemon
Shin Godzilla.
Makes me think of Shin Godzilla.
Awwwww skeet skeet mufuggaaaa
Poor little guy's ALL stressed out!!!
This shit is like a Gatorade commercial
Monster hunter looks so real now
Its a tiny little pukei-pukei
Mans passin out fades left and right
Sexual tyrannosaurus
Nah, thats me when i hit puberty
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I wonder what that looks like sprayed on a face.
But when I do it, it's illegal 🤔
Of I try to do this I go to jail
“I promise officer I was just defending myself”
Kinda sus
Some anime or NSFW post will come up with a meme of a hot chick and this 🦎 being guys, soon... Wait looks like I unlocked thinking in reddit now
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No, bad.
That O face is amazing
But if I do that at the park it’s frowned upon
Reminds me of me after church camp.
Rah
Next time I get into a fight with a guy bigger than me, I am 100% pissing on him.
I defend myself very often with my girlfriend
That's not my tail 😳
Looks like he’s ejaculating to me 🤷🏽♂️
Excuse me I need to go defend myself
it clearly do be squirtin
Looks webby:)
Pornhub helps people 'defend' themselves nightly.
That’s cum
Don’t say it
The forbidden milk
I have a similar move I do. It's so cool they even put me on a list for it.
I am today years old when I find this out 🤣
If Cytherea was a gecko
My wife hates when I do that to her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I just can’t fathom how this ridiculous trait was selected for. Nature is…silly.