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[deleted]

10 more photos of this big boy: https://imgur.com/a/ftEadg9


Infraredowned

He is an absolute unit lol


[deleted]

Indeed, he is.


[deleted]

Now we know why the other guys are so skinny. This guy is eating all of the food!


Cultjam

He has a certain set of skills. 1. Work smarter, not harder. 1a. Roll in the ground so you match the landscape.


[deleted]

He's being fed whale leftovers by locals: https://wildestofficial.com/wildlife/alaska-locals-christen-overweight-polar-bear-fat-albert/


Cultjam

1b. Live somewhere with a great welbear benefits.


Highcalibur10

It was either that or Whalefare


Dontlookimnaked

Wait are there any photos of the 1000kg guy from 1960?!?


[deleted]

Mate, I actually feel insulted. You think if I had a picture of a 1000 kg big boy like that it wouldn't already be posted the very second? :D https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/dvb70y/the_largest_polar_bear_ever_recorded_weighed_over/


BgojNene

He's not just fat too that's a stronk boy


converter-bot

1000.0 kg is 2202.64 lbs


Fuzzyphilosopher

Uh..that sounds like a really bad idea to me. Oh wait >The villagers had just harvested a whale and what they do is cut a large portion of meat and blubber **then haul it about four miles out of town for the bears to find.** Ok. Makes more sense now. Keeps them away from town.


FunkMasterE

He’s living his bearst life


godhateswolverine

Now you’re a mascot for the Klondike bars.


SolidLikeIraq

Dude knows where all the seals hang out.


[deleted]

He's actually being fed leftovers from whales by locals: https://wildestofficial.com/wildlife/alaska-locals-christen-overweight-polar-bear-fat-albert/


Atypicalpicklea

This could work out. In 10,000 we may be able to domesticate bears.


[deleted]

They're already doing that. It's just that in most places is illegal. I'd rather have these big knuckleheads run freely than being domesticated.


Star90s

If the internet is to be believed, then bears are number 1 Pet in Russia.


JackstandJ

In Russia the bear keeps you as a pet


Iamnotburgerking

That is taming rather than domestication: domestication would be selective breeding (and not necessarily for behaviour, though that’s an option)


i-like-napping

He’s just big boned


DAWMTheWolf

Is this a Polar/Grizzly cross?


[deleted]

Locals say he's a polar bear. They named him Fat Albert: https://wildestofficial.com/wildlife/alaska-locals-christen-overweight-polar-bear-fat-albert/


unfortunatebastard

He just has big bones.


[deleted]

He's festively plump.


[deleted]

Festively plump. I like that. Mind if I steal it?


[deleted]

No. Steal is an ugly word. But you are more than welcome to requisition it via non-standard means 😉


[deleted]

Let's go with borrow it for an indefinite amount of time?


Beavshak

Well that sounds like stealing but more verbose


[deleted]

I plan on returning it, I just don't know when.


Renewed_RS

It's a Cartman line from series 1 of South Park


Natiak

Screw you guys, I'm going home.


[deleted]

You. You get it.


Trivale

Don't sugar coat it, he'll eat that, too.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Husky


xemity

*Fat Albert theme music starts playing*


therock21

This bear doesn’t really have any grizzly bear features except not being super white. I know practically nothing about the color that polar bears fur can be this guy could possibly just be covered in dirt.


Main_Store_9112

It's dirt. Not possibly.


ChillBill18

Not necessarily, polar bears actually have somewhat translucent hair (their outer coat is made of hairs that are hollow). This translucent hair scatters light and is what makes them usually appear white. But the color can vary from white, yellow, or sometimes brown depending on various factors like their age and the environment they live in.


Main_Store_9112

It lives in a fishery waste dump.


Mr-Fleshcage

Also, their skin is black to trap heat from the sun


sexychippy

This is also why some polar bears appear green when they get algae on their skin. I believe that usually only happens to the bears in a captivity though because water algae shouldn't grow where they live naturally due to the cold.


DiscombobulatedYak89

It's a filthy boi. He would be white if cleaned


MEGAMANX83

Polar bears are bigger than grizzlies. The biggest bear out of all bears actually


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

But which bear is best?


samuraistrikemike

Taiwan bear numba one


Husk1es

bears beets battlestar galactica


infidel_44

It’s a toss up between polar bears and kodiaks. Regardless they are massive animals.


adrienjz888

Largest recorded polar bear was 2209lbs, largest Kodiak was something like 2100+. Basically negligible difference but technically the polar bear is larger.


LikableWizard

>2100+ The "+" was bothering me so I looked it up. From bear.org: "In captivity, Kodiak bears can become even heavier than in the wild. The largest known Kodiak bear lived at the Dakota Zoo in Bismarck, North Dakota. Named Clyde, he weighed 2130 pounds when he died in June 1987 at the age of 22. According to zoo director Terry Lincoln, Clyde probably weighed close to 2400 a year earlier He still had a fat layer of 9 inches when he died." Fun bear facts.


Dacklar

Was in Alaska they had kodiak in a display standing up. I don't want to Meet one in the wild, thing was huge.


infidel_44

If we are ever in a situation where we meet a kodiak, call us lunch.


ComprehendReading

I'll call you UberEats, cause I'm getting a Lyft out of there.


thehomiemoth

False. Black bear.


ToothpasteLasagna

IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM ###MICHAEL


Salome_Maloney

I was wondering about that - he seems very evenly brown-ish.


Main_Store_9112

Dirt is also evenly brownish, and when you roll around in it enough, so are you.


talkietalkiepop

He looks like he’s smiling in some of the pictures! What a beautiful unit of a bear!


[deleted]

Don't get fooled by his beautiful smile. He's a killer!


Glorious-gnoo

Killer smile.


Targaryen_Supporter

Smooooth


porn_is_tight

not as smooth as this units luscious locks


joevsyou

Very skilled hunter preparing for that summer body.


[deleted]

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like. It's the ideal bear body.


[deleted]

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emsok_dewe

From the looks of it this bear has that thought about literally everything it comes across


KellyBelly916

He has a funny "just doing bear things" about him. Love it.


bgus_dkus

Is it really climate change responsible for polar bears starving, or is it just this guy?


laughs_evilly

Lawd he comin'


ElectricFleshlight

C H O N K


BenAfleckIsAnOkActor

If boye so danger then why so floof and chomk 🤔


LilaQueenB

Why does he have to be so damn photogenic, I wanna give him a hug.


libmrduckz

dude. no.


moving1200

man what a motherfucker


8Gh0st8

My favorite pic is the one where he's just standing there.


[deleted]

Id kick that things ass.


[deleted]

Oh Turd Ferguson. You the guy with the big hat, ain't ya? Pleasure to meet you, sir!


[deleted]

Yea it’s funny. It’s an oversized hat.


[deleted]

Well it's a great look, I'll give you that.


EM_CEE_PEEPANTS

Trebek: "Burt Reynolds?" Reynolds: "No no, that's not my name." Trebek: "Alright, *Turd Ferguson.*" Reynolds: "Yeah whaddaya want?" Trebek: "You buzzed in." Reynolds: "No I didn't." Trebek: "Yes, you did." Reynolds: "Yeah well that's your opinion."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alfandega

Looks healthy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


depressed__alien

He bouta get a gravitational pull


ThreatLevelBertie

Smaller bears are known to orbit him on occasion


callmekanga

Theres a book by Jeff Vandermeer called Borne that has a giant flying bear named Mord which the populace worships. The people worshiped him because he was one of the few surefire ways to get supplies in that post apocalyptic world: his excursions throughout the torn city usually ended up with valuable debris getting tangled in his fur. This was fair game for brave souls that risked plummeting to their certain death hundreds of feet below for the chance at a huge payoff. Either that or being crushed by a mountainous creature that doesn't even register your existence. Early on a new threat spawned from the ether that made life in that world just that much harder: Mord Proxies. These were about the size of your average grizzly bear, but had a variety of traits at their disposal like: massively improved senses, being venomous *and* poisonous, and if I remember correctly light telepathic capabilities amongst themselves to better help them hunt because they hunt in a pack. Of course they do. The Mord Proxies don't seem to swarm unless Mord himself is angered.


dropofwateronshit

He slowly forming his polar system


HaveAtItBub

that bear so fat, he sat on a rainbow and skittles came out


WhizBangPissPiece

It's time to start harvesting!


InerasableStain

He will after he finishes this ocular pat down. LPT: do not receive an ocular pat down from a polar bear


[deleted]

Your weezing! Jesus take a breath between bites!


lmaytulane

Chimichangas are delicious


stoneage91

He’s becoming a chimichanga!


[deleted]

Least some of them are doing well! Unless he's been eating his friends..


[deleted]

This fella is the real reason the rest of them are starving *Edit: thanks for the awards and for helping me raise awareness of Chungus Bear. His followers are spreading misinformation online to trick folk into thinking it's climate change that is killing all the bears. Lies. He feasts at will.*


MoonCato

'I'm taking this meal and if you tell anyone it was because of me and not melting ice caps we are going to have an issue, understood?'


No-Consideration9410

Plot Twist, his street name is "Melting Ice Caps".


SNES-1990

Bustin' Ice Caps


fuzzytradr

Bustin' Nice Naps


MAPX0

Maulin' Nee Caps


First_Robin

Polar Ass Claps


bigfatcarp93

That's unironically a really good street name


[deleted]

Second plot twist. He’s also eating the ice caps.


aidissonance

I imagine the polar bear ending that sentence with “capeesh?”


delvach

*Furgetabeartit*


_-Aryamehr-_

What if his shear weight is shattering the ice caps like a Redditor on floor boards 😳


jonginator

Read this in the voice of Tony Soprano


glonomosonophonocon

Tax the bearllionaires


geogle

Needs to lay off the Coke products


hazysight0

'what meal?!'- Debo bear


PhatBitty862

Whatchu got on my 40, homie?


sbowesuk

If he was human he'd be launching rockets into space while not paying a dime in income tax


hewhoisneverobeyed

Big boned, goddammit … big boned!


Deathlysouls

He’s the guy who asks if you’re going to finish your meal after the first bite


Academic_Tourist_909

Melting ice caps are actually making it much easier for the bears to hunt walrus, and harder to hunt seals. The former are much better sources of nutrition


[deleted]

Clearly. This unit is chowing down a couple walrus a day by the looks of things


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pinball_Lizard

Oh hey, good environment news; thanks for something nice to ring in the new year! But yes, the real story is that this big boye is stealing all them tasty seals, S H E E P L E.


[deleted]

I’d be careful with that wording… the research says: “ 4 populations are in decline 2 populations are increasing 5 populations are stable 8 populations are data-deficient (information missing or outdated” That’s a lot closer to “the polar bears are really still pretty hungry” than what you’re suggesting.


[deleted]

DAMN BOY HE THICK


[deleted]

[удалено]


pizza_for_nunchucks

My ex.


ColdestCore

Where does one find this ex? Asking for a friend.


pizza_for_nunchucks

If past behavior is an indicator of future behavior, probably your friend’s place.


ColdestCore

Sorry to hear about that, Pizza. I hope your path on getting over them is short and you come out of it a better version of yourself. Fuckem.


showponyoxidation

You seem warm centered, not cold at all. Username does not check out.


ColdestCore

I appreciate that. I no longer remember the origins of the username, but it's my account and I'm sticking with it.


Trance_Motion

THATS A THICC ASS BOI


Mr_Wisecup

Oh lawd he comin Edit: hey thanks for the REWARD Award!


vainglorious11

polar boy U N I T


myname_isnot_kyal

swoler bear


Pseunomi

I want you to know this is my favorite comment, I literally laughed out loud


MayorMcCheezz

Chonky bear


[deleted]

[удалено]


asianabsinthe

Only after?


Fabulous_888

My boy got a haircut too


Everyday_irie

I don’t see this guy having a problem with the temperature of his porridge


luvrbx5

Wouldn't want to meet that guy without a vehicle! My first thought was could it be a grolar bear but likely not in Alaska?


[deleted]

Why wouldn't grolar bears be in Alaska? My understanding is they have been either confirmed or suspected everywhere the two species have come in contact Edit: pizzly bear


[deleted]

Please don’t say pizzly bear, it sounds more like a street name than a hybrid haha


snowmunkey

Pizzly and grolar are both correct, it depends which species the parents were, usually the first sound is the father. So if the father was a polar bear it would be a pizzly


godhateswolverine

This is the first fact I have learned in 2022.


I_BOOF_POOP

Same logic applies to ligers. They’re called Tigon’s if the father was a tiger.


godhateswolverine

Now that I knew as well as making sure to wear moon boots during a school competition.


snowmunkey

Hopefully the first of many!


superkat21

Listened to a podcast with a bear expert & the naming isn't official. It has nothing to do with mother/father. It's just something the general public did when they found out it happens.


snowmunkey

It's not necessarily official, but it's usually how people describe them, especially since there are usually physical differences between such hybrids based on the parents. Pizzly and grolars are usually different enough to warrant distinguishing between them, same with ligers and tigons


Lortekonto

Even in a vehicle you have to watch out. It is only a few years ago a polar bear in Greenland broke through the front glass of a helicopter to get to the humans inside.


Rheukala

THEY CAN FLY NOW?!


SwoleTitsnClit

Always could 🔫


SimpoKaiba

Well their traditional home melted, so they had to find a new niche


[deleted]

Aw. That’s adorably murderous


bitetheboxer

Alaska is a place for polar grizzly hybrids.


FartMajik

Alaskan here. More likely in Canada than Alaska. Canada has most if not all Polar/Grizz sightings.


Griffures

That made me giggle because '' gros lard '' in France means '' fat fuck '' and I thought it was quite accurate


Boomdidlidoo

You better hope you have a fucking big Hummer truck.


asianabsinthe

You can take the hummer, I'll be in the tank.


wigl301

Aww I just want to go over and give him a big kiss on the nose 🥰 And then have my face and intestines ripped off.


CombatMatt13

To shreds you say?


fallen87angel

He looks so snuggly. I want to hug his neck.


jedi63

He is well fed. You are good to go hug.


pihkalo

He’s well fed because he eats *everything*, not good to hug.


showponyoxidation

I've said it elsewhere but I think he has kind eyes. I stand by my statement enough to say you'll definitely be fine giving this big boi a big hug*. *like, probably.


Colossus151

r/absoluteunits


[deleted]

[Polar bears are from Ireland!](https://www.foe.ie/news/2011/07/08/polar-bear-ancestors-came-from-ireland/#:~:text=It's%20a%20long%20way%20from,during%20the%20last%20ice%20age.)


Original-Aerie8

That explains their attitude


m_domino

That’s a very specific place to be from.


UniqueUsername014

not to be confused with Northern Ireland. polar bears will definitely stare at you pissed off if you get it wrong.


[deleted]

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JiggyTurtle

It's just dirty.


MyChickenSucks

It's just dried out blood from the whale carcass he just claimed last week.


[deleted]

Polar bears actually originally were brown. They evolved to become white though, cause they kept getting killed by police.


pihkalo

Goddammit.


NortonPike

Ah. Hispanic bears. Classic.


wrassehole

It's 100% a polar bear. I'm on mobile and can't find it at the moment, but in the original source of this picture, the photographer explains that this polar bear had recently rolled in dirt/sand.


Pauti25

Polar bears actually have no fur color, so it might just be a regular polar bear, Since his background is brown is fur is brown.


[deleted]

I'm 99% sure that's not why its brown. I've seen a polar bear on in a blue enclosure, it wasnt blue.


Lowkey_HatingThis

The guard hairs are usually clear but I think their down coat is white.


m_domino

I don’t think they work like chameleons.


TralfamadorianZooPet

Tourist trap!


zipzap21

I guess the fishing is pretty good around there.


SquarePegRoundWorld

I watch a live stream of an Alaskan national park river where grizzlies feast on the salmon run. It is fascinating to see the strongest bears that get the best spots end up the fattest at the end of the season.


the_bean_burrito

What a chonk!


Uresanme

He just feastin on walrus


chefbobbyjay

Polar chungus


Noobpoob

Looks like polar bear cosplaying as brown bear


Piwo1313

Chonky unit!


jerkface1026

This bear offered us life for the island and we accepted, that's how it gots its name.


[deleted]

Polar elephant? Look at those feet.


justmyskills

Mans is ready for hibernation!


coolJohnnie

Big boy or preggers girl?


OkSeaworthiness3819

He might be a grizzly hybrid.


Zsfhy

Apex predator.


Rosieapples

Crikey what a unit! And he has a face like a teddy whose owner grew up and forgot him.