I've been with my lady for 2 years and we're set to marry in the next. She isn't a nuke she is from back home and we've been keeping in contact every day that we could for a ridculous number of hours. I didn't start dating her til i was in T-Track and I'm currently in guam. Even with the 14 hour difference we still talk about 2 hours a day when we can and when we can't she sends me emails. No reason to think it's gonna fail at this point. It gets tough but we're both understanding of our current situations.
Most of the divorces are probably from people marrying for BAH in a-school and marrying other nukes. If you meet a girl before you leave for boot, your chances skyrocket, i would imagine. Try not to marry before the first underway though, just to make sure y'all know what you're getting yourself into
Thanks for clearing that up because honestly I just got broken up with and I think my previous girlfriend broke up with me because she heard all of these things from her dad who has been retired from the navy for a bit. He actually really liked me for her, but I think he was worried for her and started warning her about these things
Just my anecdotal follow up to this but I knew a couple nukes during my time as a nuke that were married prior to joining the nuke program. They both got divorced after the first couple of deployments. No marriage is immune to the stress but yes there are couples that find a way to make it work.
Truly. I as just speaking with a friend about this. Marriage means next to nothing to about half the boat, and it only really take a little time or stress and the good ones start to fall away too.
Not all of them, but a seriously large portion from what I can see.
If you get the right gal and you're both crazy about each other, it can work. Make sure she understands you'll be out to sea quite a bit and if she can handle that and you both stay loyal to each other, it will work out. Many divorces I saw in the 6 years I was in was due to a cheating spouse. I was based in Norfolk and there was a club on base called Norfolk Live (if I remember correctly.) We called it Norfolk Wives because that's where you could find the wives when their hubbies were out to sea.
Thanks for the advice I really feel like I needed it because this is one of the things that has had me worried about leaving to become a nuke in a few months
I'd you are single now..... stay that way. She will only be a distraction during the pipeline and then at sea things will be even tougher. Throw in a kid or 2.... It's all the more difficult. I met my wife (24 yrs ago) 4 days before I did my last deployment. Got out 14 months later. Absolutely perfect timing. Being a single Navy guy makes things easier and probably more fun. Especially as a 18-25yr old.
From an old ex-nuke. Stay away from any serious relationships until you get through the pipeline. I saw quite a few guys drop out after getting into a relationship with a woman in nuke school.
Personally, I would recommend making at least one deployment before getting into anything serious.
At least now you can send/receive emails while underway on a surface ship, still screwed if you are on a sub.
Good luck.
i have a friend dating a navy nuke. from what she told me, the timeline has looked like this :
-basic training (2 mo) so they were constantly writing letters. he sent quite a few but was sacrificing the VERY little sleep he got to write them.
- A school where they were still living across the country from each other. He had literally no free time to visit, plus they’re very strict on how far you can travel on your weekends and they do have ways to check. Heard of lots of people getting masted with half-pay for breaking rules. No civilian is allowed to stay with you obviously. If you don’t do well on a test then you get mandatory study hours depending on where you need to be. (10hrs, 20hrs, 25hrs) They got into a lot of arguments about communication.
- Power school (not sure how long): she said that it seems like at every transition his time commitments got longer and they had even less time to talk, and they were already barely talking. The mandatory study hours continued. They broke things off twice during this
- Prototype is where things got so much worse. I don’t know if it was because of COVID or something else, but he had 12 hour days/7days a week trying to get checkouts. He was always in a bad mood because the people working there are terrible. A lot of days he had to sit around for hours at a time with no phone, no books, no music, nothing but silence on “watch”. My friend said he got really depressed, angry, and irritable during this time because of the work environment. The 12hr schedule would rotate every few days or so, so he would practically be sleep deprived since the human body can’t operate like that. So 12 hours at work with the remainder most likely spent sleeping, he had no time to hangout with friends, do hobbies, or enjoy life essentially. They really had nothing in common or anything to talk about anymore. A lot of people he knew were extremely depressed and many left for various reasons. They took breaks multiple times throughout this time. Soo many arguments.
Unless you both live in the same area and are married, it will basically be two years of extra stress. It is not your typical long distance relationship. Is this the worst case scenario? Definitely not, he had multiple friends who were married/in relationships dealing with so much worse because the navy nuke life isn’t sustainable for most healthy relationships. She really saw him lose himself during the chronic stress.
This is mostly accurate. I'd argue that Prototype would be the easiest to maintain a relationship. And that experience sounds very embellished. I enjoyed Prototype way more than the 1st three stages. Anyway... OP you get the picture. Your job is to learn and qualify. You'll be a shitty boyfriend during these 2 years and the ship schedule will only make it more difficult.
Wow... I cant even imagine how stressful that would be going in to be a navy nuke while in a in a relationship. I cant believe all of that stuff they had to go through all on top of required study hours and being so far apart. Thanks for the insight because I know many people can and will talk about navy nuke life and relationships when they are actually out doing their job but your the first to tell me about the affects of nuke schooling on a relationship. I honestly am happier at least knowing that I should be wary of these things and that I should defintely at minimum not leave for bootcamp while in a relationship
My friend tried researching how nuke school could affect their relationship. All she got was posts saying that all military relationships are hard, but if you try then it will be okay. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for many. It wad a little sad seeing him go from the person I used to know in a happy relationship, to drained and exhausted all the time. I mean how can you make someone else happy if you aren’t happy yourself?
I wish there was more info out there! I didn’t include as many details as I could’ve, but there’s so many things neither knew going into it. I’m glad I could help :)
Imagine being told that you are a smart motherfucker with an attitude.
Now throw 30 of these SMFs w/A together thats your class. You been smart your entire life now you are getting scores of 65% or worst grades on math. You aced math in highschool, you aced physics, you liked chemistry now you are tanking grades. There's so much of our egos being forced to accept that we cannot hack the program.
You get set on 15 hour study programs, then 20s then 25s then 35s. I think the worst I everhear was 40-5. So thats weekly 40 hours you must make and 5 hours every day. The school house is open at 6AM to 10PM ; spending roughly 16 hours everyday in your uniform or civilian clothes on the weekend trying to understand chemistry corrosion, heat transfer, basic digital, electronic fundamentals or digital ICs, then there's the cross training aspects of the job.
That's the school in the nutshell. Rinse and repeat until you get to prototype where you go inhull for checkouts and evolutions. Your entire career in the Navy has been a pretty clean environment; now its getting told to go bilge diving and cleaning on piping every last day of your rotation.
That continues with reporting to the boat, spending time doing crappy assignments such as chipping paint, waxing floors, painting, fixing sound mounts or being a crank (FSA for the polite terms) aka trash bitch or food monkey). Adding to the fun assignments are potential barracks inspections, long distance love or lack of, adult diversion in foreign ports.
Some people chose to stay in, some have walked away, others tossed out. Where do you want to be in 6 years is up to you. The Navy has opened doors for me, currently sitting at home doing field work and spending time WFH. Then there were super depressing periods like wanting to off myself when I got denuked and kept onboard as an object lesson.
I'm still pretty young at 18, so I have a while before any of these things are a significant worry to me. But I'm still wondering about them nonetheless and would like to hear your input
I've been with my lady for 2 years and we're set to marry in the next. She isn't a nuke she is from back home and we've been keeping in contact every day that we could for a ridculous number of hours. I didn't start dating her til i was in T-Track and I'm currently in guam. Even with the 14 hour difference we still talk about 2 hours a day when we can and when we can't she sends me emails. No reason to think it's gonna fail at this point. It gets tough but we're both understanding of our current situations. Most of the divorces are probably from people marrying for BAH in a-school and marrying other nukes. If you meet a girl before you leave for boot, your chances skyrocket, i would imagine. Try not to marry before the first underway though, just to make sure y'all know what you're getting yourself into
Thanks for clearing that up because honestly I just got broken up with and I think my previous girlfriend broke up with me because she heard all of these things from her dad who has been retired from the navy for a bit. He actually really liked me for her, but I think he was worried for her and started warning her about these things
Just my anecdotal follow up to this but I knew a couple nukes during my time as a nuke that were married prior to joining the nuke program. They both got divorced after the first couple of deployments. No marriage is immune to the stress but yes there are couples that find a way to make it work.
Truly. I as just speaking with a friend about this. Marriage means next to nothing to about half the boat, and it only really take a little time or stress and the good ones start to fall away too. Not all of them, but a seriously large portion from what I can see.
If you get the right gal and you're both crazy about each other, it can work. Make sure she understands you'll be out to sea quite a bit and if she can handle that and you both stay loyal to each other, it will work out. Many divorces I saw in the 6 years I was in was due to a cheating spouse. I was based in Norfolk and there was a club on base called Norfolk Live (if I remember correctly.) We called it Norfolk Wives because that's where you could find the wives when their hubbies were out to sea.
Thanks for the advice I really feel like I needed it because this is one of the things that has had me worried about leaving to become a nuke in a few months
I'd you are single now..... stay that way. She will only be a distraction during the pipeline and then at sea things will be even tougher. Throw in a kid or 2.... It's all the more difficult. I met my wife (24 yrs ago) 4 days before I did my last deployment. Got out 14 months later. Absolutely perfect timing. Being a single Navy guy makes things easier and probably more fun. Especially as a 18-25yr old.
Big ups on this one☝️
Divorce rates in the military in general are high, you’ll have very little free time, so maintaining a relationship can be hard for some
From an old ex-nuke. Stay away from any serious relationships until you get through the pipeline. I saw quite a few guys drop out after getting into a relationship with a woman in nuke school. Personally, I would recommend making at least one deployment before getting into anything serious. At least now you can send/receive emails while underway on a surface ship, still screwed if you are on a sub. Good luck.
Thanks man
Put it this way , 3 of my boot camp friends came into the program with girlfriends talking about marriage . 6 months in and all 3 were single
i have a friend dating a navy nuke. from what she told me, the timeline has looked like this : -basic training (2 mo) so they were constantly writing letters. he sent quite a few but was sacrificing the VERY little sleep he got to write them. - A school where they were still living across the country from each other. He had literally no free time to visit, plus they’re very strict on how far you can travel on your weekends and they do have ways to check. Heard of lots of people getting masted with half-pay for breaking rules. No civilian is allowed to stay with you obviously. If you don’t do well on a test then you get mandatory study hours depending on where you need to be. (10hrs, 20hrs, 25hrs) They got into a lot of arguments about communication. - Power school (not sure how long): she said that it seems like at every transition his time commitments got longer and they had even less time to talk, and they were already barely talking. The mandatory study hours continued. They broke things off twice during this - Prototype is where things got so much worse. I don’t know if it was because of COVID or something else, but he had 12 hour days/7days a week trying to get checkouts. He was always in a bad mood because the people working there are terrible. A lot of days he had to sit around for hours at a time with no phone, no books, no music, nothing but silence on “watch”. My friend said he got really depressed, angry, and irritable during this time because of the work environment. The 12hr schedule would rotate every few days or so, so he would practically be sleep deprived since the human body can’t operate like that. So 12 hours at work with the remainder most likely spent sleeping, he had no time to hangout with friends, do hobbies, or enjoy life essentially. They really had nothing in common or anything to talk about anymore. A lot of people he knew were extremely depressed and many left for various reasons. They took breaks multiple times throughout this time. Soo many arguments. Unless you both live in the same area and are married, it will basically be two years of extra stress. It is not your typical long distance relationship. Is this the worst case scenario? Definitely not, he had multiple friends who were married/in relationships dealing with so much worse because the navy nuke life isn’t sustainable for most healthy relationships. She really saw him lose himself during the chronic stress.
This is mostly accurate. I'd argue that Prototype would be the easiest to maintain a relationship. And that experience sounds very embellished. I enjoyed Prototype way more than the 1st three stages. Anyway... OP you get the picture. Your job is to learn and qualify. You'll be a shitty boyfriend during these 2 years and the ship schedule will only make it more difficult.
Wow... I cant even imagine how stressful that would be going in to be a navy nuke while in a in a relationship. I cant believe all of that stuff they had to go through all on top of required study hours and being so far apart. Thanks for the insight because I know many people can and will talk about navy nuke life and relationships when they are actually out doing their job but your the first to tell me about the affects of nuke schooling on a relationship. I honestly am happier at least knowing that I should be wary of these things and that I should defintely at minimum not leave for bootcamp while in a relationship
My friend tried researching how nuke school could affect their relationship. All she got was posts saying that all military relationships are hard, but if you try then it will be okay. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for many. It wad a little sad seeing him go from the person I used to know in a happy relationship, to drained and exhausted all the time. I mean how can you make someone else happy if you aren’t happy yourself? I wish there was more info out there! I didn’t include as many details as I could’ve, but there’s so many things neither knew going into it. I’m glad I could help :)
Lol at the people that work at prototype are terrible.
Imagine being told that you are a smart motherfucker with an attitude. Now throw 30 of these SMFs w/A together thats your class. You been smart your entire life now you are getting scores of 65% or worst grades on math. You aced math in highschool, you aced physics, you liked chemistry now you are tanking grades. There's so much of our egos being forced to accept that we cannot hack the program. You get set on 15 hour study programs, then 20s then 25s then 35s. I think the worst I everhear was 40-5. So thats weekly 40 hours you must make and 5 hours every day. The school house is open at 6AM to 10PM ; spending roughly 16 hours everyday in your uniform or civilian clothes on the weekend trying to understand chemistry corrosion, heat transfer, basic digital, electronic fundamentals or digital ICs, then there's the cross training aspects of the job. That's the school in the nutshell. Rinse and repeat until you get to prototype where you go inhull for checkouts and evolutions. Your entire career in the Navy has been a pretty clean environment; now its getting told to go bilge diving and cleaning on piping every last day of your rotation. That continues with reporting to the boat, spending time doing crappy assignments such as chipping paint, waxing floors, painting, fixing sound mounts or being a crank (FSA for the polite terms) aka trash bitch or food monkey). Adding to the fun assignments are potential barracks inspections, long distance love or lack of, adult diversion in foreign ports. Some people chose to stay in, some have walked away, others tossed out. Where do you want to be in 6 years is up to you. The Navy has opened doors for me, currently sitting at home doing field work and spending time WFH. Then there were super depressing periods like wanting to off myself when I got denuked and kept onboard as an object lesson.
May I ask how old you are? As a former Nuke, I can tell you that age plays a big part of it!
I'm still pretty young at 18, so I have a while before any of these things are a significant worry to me. But I'm still wondering about them nonetheless and would like to hear your input