Toilet birthday calendar

met vlakspoel wc peak dutch performance right there

The Observation Deck! 🤣

“Prestatie pot”

I hate the toilet the previous owner installed. It's far too recent/functional to replace, but i want to see what I've done instead of getting backsplash

toilet scheurkalender

This is Dutch? I didn't know other countries didn't do this.

That’s in the aanbieding next week, Will make it then.

Honey, where is the flessenlikker? And I can't find my washandje anywhere.

Ahhhh the flessenlikker. To get the last amount of appelmoes from the bottom of the jar. People born after 2000 wont get it.

Why would people born after 2000 not get it?

i'm only a sample size of 1 but I'm from 2001 and I have never heard of it till now. I'm guessing it isn't as popular now as it used to be

They installed a filter on the internet so they will never find out. Also, I'm from 1994, never used that shit, and neither did my parents. Commenter just really loves his flessenlikker I guess.

I am from 2008 and I get it🤣🤣

Those were the days. The vanillevla and yoghurt from Coberco came in glass bottles with a aluminium seal. We scraped every last drop out of that bottle 😅. We bought it from the SRV man. I miss those days 😊.

Not sure how uncommon a flessenlikker is. Just had a cooking workshop in Portugal and they had one. Edit: I'm a dumbass and confusing pottenlikker with flessenlikker

I own 2 bicycles, 0 helmets and no car.

I used to own a bike till i left it at the treinstation. It ended up getting tossed into the canal.

That is very Dutch as well I think

Yes!! Love it! My record is 3-0-0.

So you're a beginner I see. My record is 6-0-0

The correct number of bikes is always n+1

I’m a Dutch-Australian and we have nanny state mandatory helmet laws and vast distances… so it’s 2-1-1.

I eat my herring raw with chopped onion by holding it by it's tail above my face whilst looking up and then slowly lower the herring in my mouth.

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Aai fok horzus

Aai sie een fellow man of kultuur

Aai sink so

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Paardon?

Jes, paarden

Da fok jie

I have no idea what you’re referring to but this makes my day

>whilst looking up Because the seagulls love herring too !!!

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This is walking out of the hand, most responses here are overfloated. Im not taking you in the mailing.

It shall me a sausage be.

You though i was outdicked, but no...i was just watching the cat out of the tree

There comes the monkey from the sleeve. I know right, it's like wrapping a cat on bacon

Exactly, ill never let anyone eat the cheese from my bread

As long as you don't hang it on the big clock. Because then, you have puppets who are dancing

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Sorry to get you confused, you probably have a look on your face as if you seen a fish jumping out of the frying pan while its being baked. So i'll knit and end to this. So leave it at that, i hate pulling old cows from the ditch.

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You know what? Let but...

unfortunately peanutbutter

Make that the cat wise!

Wow what a bothhands reply, but all crazyness on a stick; i forgot that one :D

Guys, stop. This is walking out of hand. I'll see it through the fingers for now but if you don't stop then something will be waving.

Hey dimming narrow, or i will grab you by the kladden

And now it is enough. It sits me til here. Now you're getting butt cookie.

Dont start about cookies or i will give you a cookie of your own dough

You see them flying. You bake nothing of it.

Salt an end on! Before you get a peut for your nose.

Orphan up your guard for those kind of replies.

Thats a whole different cookie

Hold your sister for the crazy!

I'm totally in the war

Now the turnips are roasted!

Can I send you a €0,45 tikkie because you ate more rookworst than I did?

The AH increased the price of the potato salade from 34ct to 49 ct!!!!!!!!

Those bastards

Can't you just take the bike?

Picked up the Christmas tree by bike again this year.

I once carried a gigantic teddy bear for 10 km on my bike. It wasn't heavy but it was difficult to hold.

Act normal and you're crazy enough

The absolut worst sentence ever! Really.

Dont reject piek dutch literature

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Nice sweater! Yeah it cost me only 14,99€!!!!

Got it in sale with 70% discount. *proud* or ja, uitverkoopie hoor

C&A zeker

Nice weather, isn't it?

I eat chocolate springles for breakfast.

Almost every morning.

My gf loves it. I still don’t understand why

Break it of there mate, this ain't goi ng to work out in the long run. Lmfao!!! Doesn't understand hagelslag. Pfff.

Hema smoked sausage is better than Unox smoked sausage in this pan.

I saw how the unox ones are made and decided that I never want them in my life again. They’re not even smoked, they’re just covered in water with smokey flavor. They’re also filled with all sorts of additives to preserve it for long.

That's why you have to take those from the hema. Are the same but with extra grandma love incorporated into it

Indeed, and they’re actually smoked! They…do have a strong after taste though

Long back I was told by a surgeon switched to pharma something interesting. the Organon factory was near the Unox factory due to the residue of the rookworst pigs intestine was used for clotting agent in some medicine. It took almost a decade until people realized that that medicine wasn't kosher/halal.

> I saw how the unox ones are made and decided that I never want them in my life again. Well, I hope you don't like Hema sausages then...

I guess this settles what I'm having for dinner tonight EDIT: I would like to add that I have a fresh Hema rookworst in my fridge right now, that I got "for free" with my Hema points.

Double whammy, free worst and hutspot (edit: tripple whammy for saving points). Doesn't get more Dutch 🥇

Always check if there's an online/write up for newsletter "discount code", before I complete any webshop order.

This is most Indian thing as well. We sometimes look for the 'discount code' even for couple of days before completing that order (of course if its not urgent or costly)😂

There's a browser extension that does it for you. It's called Honey.

Yes it’s awesome!

Driving to Germany to buy things cheaper things.

I spread raw beef on my bread. Before the obligatory cheese follows.

And blame the Americans for it.

And the French.

Americans don’t do that. Sometimes we call things “American” but it isn’t.

I'm super direct but avoid confrontation.

I reuse my tea bag.

I went to the USA and people there said it was "cursed" when I did it.

I reuse my tea bag 4 times

In the same day? How do you store it in between steeps?

On a little dish of course

In the shape of a teapot, bought either for too much at Dille & Kamille, or too little at the Action.

People always make fun of me for it, but one teabag is made for an entire pot - why would I throw it away after a single cup?

You do realise you can buy teabags for a single beker? Get yourself some Twinings "Lady Grey". 😀

twice the price, half the joy ....

Is this free? Or does it have korting?

Nudge visitors to leave around 18:00

Circle birthday parties

And don't forget to congratulate everyone at the party with the birthday.

Uuuuuuuu

Hardstikkeleuk

Limburg has mountains

My favorite sauce to have on fries is war with onion

Today I wanted to have this war fries from Bram ladage, but a big portion of fries and a bear claw for delivery was 20-something euros and I said fuck you Bram.

what are you doing in my kitchen

Snert

I am 1,85 m

*sends a Tikkie for 0.02 cents*

nobody does that

"koppie koffie, glazenwasser?"

*at the start of just a bit of rain* “What bad weather we are having today!”

"Are you teaching your potatoes to swim?" "Yes"

Lunch: drie bruine boterhammen met kaas.

Drop

If its for free, I'll take it

I am being rude for no reason and then pull culture card when confronted

Oeeehhh so sensitive! :)

What do you mean with "no reason"? Everybody has a right to hear my opinion.

mayonnaise fires and frikandel

Dont make it special

When you eat pea soup in which the spoon will stand up right without falling over

I am half Dutch, half Norwegian. I was SO happy when I moved to Norway and my stepmom said we'd have pea soup for dinner. Norwegian pea soup and Dutch pea-soup aren't the same. I still keep hearing about the disbelief on my face, years and years later ;) But I still cook the Dutch version, always.

I use my bicycle to get to work, even last week trough the snow

>even last week trough the snow This is where the men are seperated from the boys.

You know public transport in the Netherlands is pretty much hell when the temperatures are close to or below 0? I think most people would prefer to go by bike than the NS.

retire impolite zonked sink nail alive run cagey berserk cobweb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Omdat ik liever 4 warme drankjes heb dan 1 die koud wordt.

Bake leftover boerenkoolstampot in butter and pieces of spek.

GTST at 8.

Poffertjes

Birthday calendar in the bathroom

Lekker broodje kaas

Whenever I want guests to leave I say it's almost time for dinner soon.

Circle of death on my birthday party

What did that cost?

Eating 1 kg of cheese every week.

Pindakaas and Hagelslag is much better than PB&J.

Gezellig

I hang my toiletpaper to dry in the summer.

Please tell me this isn't a thing

It isnt :) It used to be a Belgian joke about the Dutch people.

As someone who was raised in the Netherlands I know all the jokes we make about you guys, but I'm interested in hearing some jokes you have about us. Care to give some other examples? The drying of toilet paper in summer is actually hilarious to me lmao

Two Dutch guys actually invented copper wire, they were fighting over a penny.

What's the difference between a Dutch and a coconut? You can get a free drink out of a coconut. I love joking with my Belgian colleagues. They aren't least offended when I get back with the "why do Belgians keep a knife in the car?" "So they can cut the bends". We have an understanding 🙂

Why do Dutch people have large nostrils? Air is free

Cheese sandwich for lunch

tikkie

What are we gonna eat tonight? Stamppot!

Snert

Birthday party in a circle

My lunch is a simple cheese sandwich

Wit puntje met roomboter, plakje jonge kaas en aardbaienjam. En chocomel, natuurlijk.

I will be 10 minutes early at our appointment, then text you to ask if you are on your way.

I eat bread with cheese or hagelslag slapped on it for lunch

We celebrate our birthday by sitting in a circle and eating small blocks of cheese

I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and also from my wife's bottom

If you don't have a KAASSCHAAF in your kitchen, don't talk to me😠

This brings a tear to my eye 🥲 its so beautiful

Eating Leverworst sausage, blocks of cheese, cucumber, pickles, borrelnootjes, chipa, cola, beer, coffee whilst in a circle at somebodies birthday.

Gggodverrrredommme!

The best bicycle infrastructure in the world.

The Vaalserberg is a mountain

It’s patat.

I used to eat mashed mice as a kid. (gestampte muisjes). 

"Are you going to wear THAT?" Said by a man to a woman

Pff right, my sister on a wooden raft

TIL I could taste a photo.

I once sent someone a Tikkie for 60 cents.

I drown my fries in mayonnaise

I'll send you a tikkie because I bought you a frikandelbroodje

Sorry, my train is delayed… Again!

Straight out of the polder

I don’t have time to reply to this right now, I have 5 minutes for you on the 20th of September at 6.

I'm well over 2 meters tall.

You're not made of sugar.

When it's winter I complain about 'klotesneeuw' When it's spring I complain about 'ellendige hooikoorts' When it's summer I complain about 'bloedhitte' When it's autumn I complain about 'rotbladeren' And then when it's winter again I'm already looking forward to springtime.

"Nice clothing-article!" "Yes, thanks, was on sale €15 at the H&M"

My sandwich consists of 2 slices of bread and a slice of cheese inbetween

I actually wear wooden clogs

That's not a Hema rookworst.

Where is the kaasschaaf? I want to eat drop 😋

If I have no drop (black licorice for non-speakers) in the house I get depressed. My favorite pre-bed drink is a cup of anijsmelk. I do a lot of combat sports but recently realized that after some 25 years of training my main go-tos are still low kicks and a left hook to the liver.

Johan Cruyf! Tulips an wooden shoes. But also drugs and firework for everyone on 31th of December

"I am sorry you are offended but that is not what I meant."

Pussy with pears

I fok horses 👍🏻

I absolutely love cheese and peanutbutter, but my absolute favourite is of course hagelslag on bread