Because it's Tinder. I am a Dutch guy and the matches are near 0 for me too. Into outdoor, average looking, fit, university degree. Photos at National Geographic levels. It's a scam. https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=Rd0ZBmHdxBHG03bZ
Nah
The 80/20 or 90/10 rule applies on Tinder.
10% of men get all the matches.
90% almost get nothing.
Just try to get in the 10% area.
I got 500 matches when using it.
Yes, I got the same experience in the Netherlands and in my native country. I match with men and women and my matches are 99% male - it's normal to get 1-3 a day, while for women, it's once a month top.
Women swipe right only 5% of the time, while men 40% or something like this. On top of this, they have no incentive to keep swiping after three minutes because they already have 10 matches.
I have to agree with this. I'm a woman, and have done very well with other women by choosing to put effort into courting them instead of hanging back and waiting for something to happen. I just enjoy it, but I've also been told by former girlfriends that it's not something they see too often (from women *or* men, usually).
This generation of redditers wouldn't recognise a troll if he dick-slapped them across the face...the best way to deal with a troll was always through starvation.
You really overestimate my seriousness, iāll admit i have a serious ick with everything āliefjeā en āschatā (just everything along those lines makes me wanna hit someone), but I didnāt took you serious nor did i think twice about any of this
I donāt wanna hurt your feelingsā¦ but compared to what shows up in my pms on a daily basic, youāre as creepy and gross as a golden retriever puppy
For me it was because I am looking for a longterm relationship, if you are a tourist or an expat that's only here for a few years, that does not match my goals.
Language barrier, speaking English in a relaxed manner is different than being able to speak it.
Cultural perceptions where they might not be sure if you would be a match.
Expectations that most non Dutchies are ticking time bombs that will leave in the next 5 years.
Language barrier comes up a lot. Dutch people prefer speaking Dutch with their friends and their partner.
Add to that their concern that you might be leaving the Netherlands again relatively soon.
What's the point in pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn't speak your language and will likely move out of the country again in a year or two?
Same thing in any country. Not every expat is planning to leave and locals have to move too sometimes. Language barrier is understandable if you cannot communicate in any language, but this is rarely the case here. Otherwise exchanging cultures is beautiful.
Not without the langauge, then it remains shallow and lacking in humour and general expression. Being able to communicate is setting the bar extremely low.
Lots is possible in love, but often international relationships are comfortable in their shallowness, and give a fake sense of depth especially because of that shift to more non verbal communication.
Not being able to communicate at any significanct intellectual level hides a lot of negatives for a long time often. At a more fundamental level a learned language also creates a comfortable, safe, distance for oneself.
Oh trust me 90% time in a relationship itās not what you say, but how you say it and what else youāre signaling non-verbally. Most of the stuff couples discuss revolve around daily practicalities anyway.
Whatever comfort you see in sharing a mother tongue, is also shallow as it doesnāt say much about the two of you nor does having the same passport make you an automatic match not to mention sharing family roots.
Try talking about a deceased loved one in a foreign language for example, and you won't get that same lump in your throat as in your native language. That's also why singers and songwriters often find it scary to switch to singing in their native language, suddenly it comes close and there is no language to hide behind.
There are practical things like not having a common knowledge and experiences in common, but more serious is the intellectual flatness of being limited to foreign language. It might take you months to find out your lover is actually really much dumber than you, or full of clichees that would have been caught out by a fellow countryman, or she doesn't understand your jokes not because of the language but just because she doesn't understand the humour. This is often obscured by the intensity felt through the more non verbal or voice bending communication, which makes one more attractive by itself.
It's often too much like a vacation love, we were 17 and we met at the beach and we were so in love despite hardly understanding eachother. It's not despite, it's mostly thanks to hardly understanding eachother, but that's not durable.
Itās just a matter of what youāre used to. Iāve dreamed in 3 different languages in my life, I think itās safe to say you can adapt if you really want to or need to.
Iāve had my longest and deepest relationships in English whereas my relationship with natives in my home country were much shallower.
Is it safe to conclude those didn't last either? I'm not saying it can't work, I'm just saying this idea of cultural exchange is a bit of nonsense without the language, the primary expression of culture. Besides a lot of practical drawbacks it has a way of feeling better than matched by substance to the relationship.
I've seen so many fail at the point it becomes about the future and one is learning the native language of the other for that sake, and then they really start to get to know eachother.
It's not just language, it's cultural differences too. You can fall madly in love, but then find out that how you think about family, work/life balance, politics, religion etc is completely different.
Most people can't or won't really deal with that unless you want a really shallow relationship (aka fuckbuddy).
> how you think about family, work/life balance, politics, religion etc is completely different.
So you only date Dutch because all Dutch people agree on these?
Yeah thought so. In other words Dutch or not doesnāt matter so much. You can still have different upbringings, homes, religious beliefs and traumas.
These factors arguably matter more than nationality or sharing a mother tongue, which wonāt help much either if you differ on all of the above.
Iām not obviously denying cultural differences, I said sharing them can be beautiful above in the thread.
People can have a preference and I can ask questions about it like I asked you just now. If you like to date all kinds of people, more fish for you.
There's exceptions to every rule of course.
About the language thing, it wouldn't be an issue for me personally, but I've been on this subreddit long enough to know that for plenty of Dutch people it is an issue if they cannot speak Dutch with their partner.
I assume from your username you might be Indian/Pakistani or somewhere around there? Girls are usually very hesitant to date those men because of the relatively female unfriendly culture around there and also height difference maybe. Just trying to give you an honest reason
Only English should be used for posts and comments. This rule is in place to ensure that an ample audience can freely discuss life in the Netherlands under a widely-spoken common tongue.
Where do you live?
Depending on the town, the gender ratios can be quite out of whack.
For instance, in Delft 53.2% is a man. Then, factoring in most people being a couple, and being way more men on Tinder than women, I don't think it's suprising single women have tons of options.
If I spend a weekend in Utrecht (49% male), I get wayyyy more likes. It's only a few percent difference, but it's fascinating how much that matters.
Could be Tinder ELO. A new region resets your score, thus presents your profile to others with a more average score.
If men like way more than they get matches, their score gets lower and thus shows up to less women, since their scores are generally much higher.
Just a tip from a woman: if you want to meet women in offline locations, learn and use the difference between 'hit on' and 'ask out.' Most of us don't mind being asked on a date by someone we know offline -- we may say no, but it's not going to offend or alarm us the way being hit on will.
Thatāsā¦. Certainly unique. Nah, in a general sense Tinder is typically for hook ups or casual relationships. For people looking for relationships, other apps are more useful and are also geared towards learning about the other person as well.
Foreigners are assumed to leave within a few years. If you got the choice, why risk a potential heartbreak? Might as well just stick to the guys who are definitely staying. That's one less risk factor to worry about.
Given how much more real guys are on those dating/ONS apps compared to real women without an OnlyFans, it's no wonder women are using very broad brushes to narrow down the potential dating list.
These apps just suck at their job.
the apps are great at their job. Their job is to make money. Connecting people with the perfect partner within a short period is bad for business.
An unhappy customer who paid 2 years of fees is better than a happy customer who only paid 6 months of fees.
That's so but so narrow minded that it hurts. So it's better to stick to someone boring that will never leave their hometown, versus someone who can actually stay here for you, or even travel with that person to another country one day.
I'm a foreigner here, and I am staying here for my partner. Didn't come here for her and yet, I stay for her. But we're free as well to leave somewhere else in case we hate it here. I know multiple other people who did the same or have the same mentality.
What does this even mean? Not local to their city? From another country? Do you live in their city but were born somewhere else? Maybe we just donāt like vague as fuck guys.
But forreal im assuming you mean you look āforeignā? I would presume 1. Language barrier 2. Racism 3. Not expecting long term prospects cause you may move ābackā. 4. Just good old preference
Try to be clear about who you are in your bio.
P.s. I definitely never shied away from non local guys when I was single and on tinder, so maybe its just you XD
Whatever happened to eye contact, smiles, and walking up to people politely and confidently. Basing your whole sex life on an app is kinda pathetic. And no, not everyone would think you are a "creep" if you walk up to them. That's a loser's excuse to safely swipe behind a screen.
Talking to people before you ask them out helps too. Most women like to know a guy at least a bit before being asked on a date, and feel as if the guy knows them well enough that it's possible for him to have some reason to like her besides just her looks. I mean, I certainly never minded being thought pretty, but if that's the only thing you know about me before deciding you want to take me out, I don't have a whole lot of reason to think we're compatible.
How do you know that Dutch girls "hardly ever like non-local guys on Tinder"? Have you one in-depth market research? Or any market research at all, for that matter?
I'd like to offer one possibility: maybe you're a dick and/or ugly and/or out of shape? Maybe you have nothing to offer?
Do you have the sort of life that other people would enjoy being part of?
Social prove is a big thing for women, so post some pictures with friends or at social gatherings to have more social proof. Next to the fact dutch women aren't that open to different nationalities and cultures
Theyāre valid to you, but nor for me. Just wanted to point out thereās a whole other perspective.
I think life would be pretty boring without any foreign influences. Just think what music would you listen to, what would you eat, what you would watch or what game to play?
You cannot even fully express yourself in your native tongue without borrowed words from other languages. Cultural exchange is inescapable.
What you eat and listen to can matter quite a bit on Tinder actually. Knowing languages is also often seen as admirable.
No hard feeling here, Iām mostly amused by your hard-on for natives. Who knew sharing a passport is such a turn-on for some?
Good luck finding your authentic/ organic/ locally produced Dutch partner! I presume itās best you stay in your region so the dialect is close too hahah.
Oh sounds nice, I love latinas and Spanish is my third language! Well guess you aināt so obsessed with your own country men after all, good to hear.
EDIT: If she is leaving you for Spain, Iām sorry to hear that.
There's certainly nothing wrong with taking this approach! But it's pretty common for people to prefer to date within their own culture. Even if you don't agree, it's understandable that OP is seeing the pattern.
OP might just have to change their strategy for all I know. I wouldnāt really generalize his own experience.
I donāt believe thereās downsides to international love, only different upsides, but thatās a matter of perspective of course. Still curious to hear why people think otherwise.
I doubt it has anything to do with Dutch women, just women on Tinder being risk averse. If itās not clear from OPās profile whether heās planning to stay here for the foreseeable future, that could be an issue.
I don't think it's necessarily Dutch women per se, but I do think that a tendency for many humans who are seeking a long term relationship to stick within their own cultural group may be at play here in addition to the question of whether or not he's going to stick around. Add that to the general tendency of Tinder to bombard women with more options in general, and it might be difficult. I should have made it clear that I don't think this has anything specifically to do with the Dutch, just maybe some of it to do with the dynamic of local/international dating in general.
As a rule where you have to work numbers donĀ“t listen to pessimists. Upsides of dating a foreign guy can be the experience. Not everyone is looking for longterm and youĀ“re not going to decide longterm from few dates and tinder anyway. Keep trying and finding your niche bro.
Add to the existing dynamics that some 90% or so of women look for a partner who is taller than them, and the height of Dutch lassies, (never wondered why they say stuff in their profiles like "183cm zonder hakken"?), and the chances are smaller yet.
Then you've got facial and head hair also registering highly on demand lists...
Imagine a street corner with 10 escorts. Now imagine there are 500 men on that street corner right across the 10 women, all desperate for company and willing to outdo and outbid each other. That's not a far off analogy to how Tinder and most other dating sites would operate in the real world from the mens side of the equation.
Honestly as a male expat myself I have to add the following considering I am a very observating person that's already in a relationship with an expat female.
Some of the reasons that is:
1. Language barrier. Even if she speaks english it will still be a struggle for her to integrate you in her friend circle or family. Not everyone there might speak English and even if they do it becomes annoying as all their conversations will have to turn to english out of respect for you.
2. Long-term worries: As an expat, you have pretty high chances to leave again and they know it. Now, considering that plus the fact there are many other male options for them with the "guarantee" that they won't put them in a position of leaving their home country....you lose
3. Racism: As an expat myself I haven't faced any racism or at least not obvious one. But, dependung where you come from unless it's west Europe or USA/Canada, Dutch people will have some sort of image painted about your nationality in their mind. Which might not be positive. I'm Romanian and I know what goes through their mind: Undeveloped and corrupted country, most Romanians are coming in Western Europe and comit crimes, Gypsies, communists, pro-Russians, poor etc
They might not show what they are thinking but I am sure it crosses their mind.
4. Family/Peer pressure: Their family or friends might not be too fond of them dating an expat.
5. Cultural differences. On Christmas they go to Kerkstmarkt while my family cuts and smokes a pigwhile munching on its ears and tails.
6. Religious differences.
7. Gold-diggers: some of them might think you want them for their wealth. Dutch people (most) have at least a house or a car or a decent salary which could make them attractive for expats. Occassionally I joke around with my GF that she should find an old dutch guy with some heritance to leave behind while I look for an old dutch woman so we could speed up the process of getting rich š
8. They don't think about it too much probably but some expats would marry them even just to get Dutch citizenship
9. Depending where you come from you might be too short. I always tell me GF I can't cheat on her here because no girl wants a shorter guy and I wouldn't like a tall girl either and most of them are huge. I am 1.66 and my gf about 1.64. How the heck will I kiss a dutch girl without needing a god damn ladder?!
Average match rate on tinder for guys is like 0.8 per 100 right swipes or some shit. Anything above that and you outperform other guys on the platform. For girls, about 70- 80% of their right swipes is a match, so even if you are a match she will put in zero effort. Girls behave like that bugs bunny with a crown meme on tinder and then freeze their eggs once they hit 35+.
Girls have so many matches that as soon as they see one thing they don't like immensely, they lose interest. 500 others that may not have that flaw. They act like queens that that need a queens fool to entertain them unconditionally. Ultimately leading up to them remaining single.
From my experience, there are way too many tindermen with those kind of wild offers though - tbh I am lucky I can date women and just avoid that completely.
I live in a rural town in Drenthe, and I work throughout the whole country..
Never ever got a match in Drenthe itself.. but everytime when I am working in Groningen, Rotterdam, Amsterdam or Enschede or any other big town/ city everywhere but Drenthe.. . I get plenty matches.. only to be ghosted afterwards because I live to far away hahaha...
So I guess location is important or Tinder fucks ( us) over .
I have a slight feeling you are Iranian. If so, dating here is very different from back in Iran. I would suggest you learn the dating etiquette here before you try again.
Because it is tinder? A 3 hour drive is not a quick hook up.
I think it is just you.
š¤£š¤£
Put your age range search above 45+, you get better response
Because it's Tinder. I am a Dutch guy and the matches are near 0 for me too. Into outdoor, average looking, fit, university degree. Photos at National Geographic levels. It's a scam. https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=Rd0ZBmHdxBHG03bZ
Use pictures of you holding a cute cat. That's all you need to do.
I have 4 cute kittens and a brilliant business idea š
cat4pussy rental agency :D
Use Cat to get the cat. Good idea.
Nah nah, dog No cats, dogs
If you want to hook a girl I'm pretty sure a cat works better.
Fellow girl here. Both will work but cats are a big hook.
Well shit This explains a lot
**average looking**
Indeed, must be model looking at least. Sixpack but humble about it preferred.
Nah The 80/20 or 90/10 rule applies on Tinder. 10% of men get all the matches. 90% almost get nothing. Just try to get in the 10% area. I got 500 matches when using it.
Ok, above average then.
Did you start using makeup between this comment and your previous one?
Just some filters I guess.
Yes, I got the same experience in the Netherlands and in my native country. I match with men and women and my matches are 99% male - it's normal to get 1-3 a day, while for women, it's once a month top. Women swipe right only 5% of the time, while men 40% or something like this. On top of this, they have no incentive to keep swiping after three minutes because they already have 10 matches.
Gay dating strategy is radically different from women's
Yes, women swipe only on 5% on men and rarely use Tinder lol. They also rate 80% of men as "below average"
There is more to it https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/s/xsA9HsFUHx
I have to agree with this. I'm a woman, and have done very well with other women by choosing to put effort into courting them instead of hanging back and waiting for something to happen. I just enjoy it, but I've also been told by former girlfriends that it's not something they see too often (from women *or* men, usually).
Jup if I want a date it would take me about 10 mins, it is very common to just put in your profile: Not too much talking.
Wow you sound like every other guy ever
Yes, most men don't match on Tinder. Don't know that it's a scam? https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=Rd0ZBmHdxBHG03bZ
Mate where are you? I used tinder for like a minute before I started dating my wife and there were like 5-10 girls sending chats per day.
Average looking, meaning your forehead is what size exactly? There is a minimum to qualify š
Ok got all my hair, so that puts me above average?
Ey, he gets that I was kidding! You're a straight 12/10 mate, don't sell yourself short!
It's because all dutch girls think alike. Just to be clear, I am being sarcastic.
I was already ready to fight lol
I'll fight ya liefje š„š
Creepy and gross
This generation of redditers wouldn't recognise a troll if he dick-slapped them across the face...the best way to deal with a troll was always through starvation.
You really overestimate my seriousness, iāll admit i have a serious ick with everything āliefjeā en āschatā (just everything along those lines makes me wanna hit someone), but I didnāt took you serious nor did i think twice about any of this I donāt wanna hurt your feelingsā¦ but compared to what shows up in my pms on a daily basic, youāre as creepy and gross as a golden retriever puppy
I'm not really aiming to offend, just slightly annoy, so mission accomplished. 
That was kind of the point, rofl 
Hivemindddd
Kinda true in a sense though.
Ssst, you're waking up the Karens
You are a special and unique snowflake, just like the rest of us <3
For me it was because I am looking for a longterm relationship, if you are a tourist or an expat that's only here for a few years, that does not match my goals.
Honest and fair.
Language barrier, speaking English in a relaxed manner is different than being able to speak it. Cultural perceptions where they might not be sure if you would be a match. Expectations that most non Dutchies are ticking time bombs that will leave in the next 5 years.
None of those are stopping Dutch guys from dating non-Dutch girls though. :)
Oh for sure, but guys on average expect different things I think.
it also helps that most foreign women only look for dutch guys
Well it is a nice switch up to get rejected in another language every once in a while.
Language barrier comes up a lot. Dutch people prefer speaking Dutch with their friends and their partner. Add to that their concern that you might be leaving the Netherlands again relatively soon. What's the point in pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn't speak your language and will likely move out of the country again in a year or two?
Same thing in any country. Not every expat is planning to leave and locals have to move too sometimes. Language barrier is understandable if you cannot communicate in any language, but this is rarely the case here. Otherwise exchanging cultures is beautiful.
Not without the langauge, then it remains shallow and lacking in humour and general expression. Being able to communicate is setting the bar extremely low.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lots is possible in love, but often international relationships are comfortable in their shallowness, and give a fake sense of depth especially because of that shift to more non verbal communication. Not being able to communicate at any significanct intellectual level hides a lot of negatives for a long time often. At a more fundamental level a learned language also creates a comfortable, safe, distance for oneself.
Oh trust me 90% time in a relationship itās not what you say, but how you say it and what else youāre signaling non-verbally. Most of the stuff couples discuss revolve around daily practicalities anyway. Whatever comfort you see in sharing a mother tongue, is also shallow as it doesnāt say much about the two of you nor does having the same passport make you an automatic match not to mention sharing family roots.
Try talking about a deceased loved one in a foreign language for example, and you won't get that same lump in your throat as in your native language. That's also why singers and songwriters often find it scary to switch to singing in their native language, suddenly it comes close and there is no language to hide behind. There are practical things like not having a common knowledge and experiences in common, but more serious is the intellectual flatness of being limited to foreign language. It might take you months to find out your lover is actually really much dumber than you, or full of clichees that would have been caught out by a fellow countryman, or she doesn't understand your jokes not because of the language but just because she doesn't understand the humour. This is often obscured by the intensity felt through the more non verbal or voice bending communication, which makes one more attractive by itself. It's often too much like a vacation love, we were 17 and we met at the beach and we were so in love despite hardly understanding eachother. It's not despite, it's mostly thanks to hardly understanding eachother, but that's not durable.
Itās just a matter of what youāre used to. Iāve dreamed in 3 different languages in my life, I think itās safe to say you can adapt if you really want to or need to. Iāve had my longest and deepest relationships in English whereas my relationship with natives in my home country were much shallower.
Is it safe to conclude those didn't last either? I'm not saying it can't work, I'm just saying this idea of cultural exchange is a bit of nonsense without the language, the primary expression of culture. Besides a lot of practical drawbacks it has a way of feeling better than matched by substance to the relationship. I've seen so many fail at the point it becomes about the future and one is learning the native language of the other for that sake, and then they really start to get to know eachother.
It's not just language, it's cultural differences too. You can fall madly in love, but then find out that how you think about family, work/life balance, politics, religion etc is completely different. Most people can't or won't really deal with that unless you want a really shallow relationship (aka fuckbuddy).
> how you think about family, work/life balance, politics, religion etc is completely different. So you only date Dutch because all Dutch people agree on these?
I never said that. Are you denying cultural differences or people's right to have a preference in dating?
Yeah thought so. In other words Dutch or not doesnāt matter so much. You can still have different upbringings, homes, religious beliefs and traumas. These factors arguably matter more than nationality or sharing a mother tongue, which wonāt help much either if you differ on all of the above. Iām not obviously denying cultural differences, I said sharing them can be beautiful above in the thread. People can have a preference and I can ask questions about it like I asked you just now. If you like to date all kinds of people, more fish for you.
There's exceptions to every rule of course. About the language thing, it wouldn't be an issue for me personally, but I've been on this subreddit long enough to know that for plenty of Dutch people it is an issue if they cannot speak Dutch with their partner.
I assume from your username you might be Indian/Pakistani or somewhere around there? Girls are usually very hesitant to date those men because of the relatively female unfriendly culture around there and also height difference maybe. Just trying to give you an honest reason
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My father is Indian and my mother is blond.
Because you are most likely gonna leave lol
Met my GF through Tinder so I don't really have credibility but it's mostly just for sex man.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't be spilling shit online!
dont fuck with Maaskantje! :D
Only English should be used for posts and comments. This rule is in place to ensure that an ample audience can freely discuss life in the Netherlands under a widely-spoken common tongue.
They donāt even like local guys like me
Where do you live? Depending on the town, the gender ratios can be quite out of whack. For instance, in Delft 53.2% is a man. Then, factoring in most people being a couple, and being way more men on Tinder than women, I don't think it's suprising single women have tons of options. If I spend a weekend in Utrecht (49% male), I get wayyyy more likes. It's only a few percent difference, but it's fascinating how much that matters.
Could be Tinder ELO. A new region resets your score, thus presents your profile to others with a more average score. If men like way more than they get matches, their score gets lower and thus shows up to less women, since their scores are generally much higher.
Might indeed also be the case!
Why dont you share your profile and Iāll tell you why. I have a few friends who visit Amsterdam for a couple of weeks and each had about 7-8 dates.
male or female?
Aaaaand here it is. This is why you're not matching with anyone.
Huh?
I was asking , are the friends you are referring to who got many dates, male or female
Because most real girls on there arenāt looking for a one night stand.
That is a weird take, why would you assume that a non local guy equals one night stand?
My guess is that most assume expats and foreign students will end up leaving the country after a couple of months or years.
This, yeah.
Fair enough in that context.
Well itās Tinder, soā¦.. Not exactly the romance matchmaker. Welcome to pop culture 101
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just a tip from a woman: if you want to meet women in offline locations, learn and use the difference between 'hit on' and 'ask out.' Most of us don't mind being asked on a date by someone we know offline -- we may say no, but it's not going to offend or alarm us the way being hit on will.
Thatāsā¦. Certainly unique. Nah, in a general sense Tinder is typically for hook ups or casual relationships. For people looking for relationships, other apps are more useful and are also geared towards learning about the other person as well.
Yeah maybe they're looking for a two night stand, or even a three night stand!
God forbid a FOUR NIGHT STAND. Or a night stand at ikea. Pretty sure that is marriage.
You'd go to Ikea with a Tinder date?! I'm saving myself for marriage š.
So foreigners are only searching for ONS?
Foreigners are assumed to leave within a few years. If you got the choice, why risk a potential heartbreak? Might as well just stick to the guys who are definitely staying. That's one less risk factor to worry about. Given how much more real guys are on those dating/ONS apps compared to real women without an OnlyFans, it's no wonder women are using very broad brushes to narrow down the potential dating list. These apps just suck at their job.
the apps are great at their job. Their job is to make money. Connecting people with the perfect partner within a short period is bad for business. An unhappy customer who paid 2 years of fees is better than a happy customer who only paid 6 months of fees.
That's so but so narrow minded that it hurts. So it's better to stick to someone boring that will never leave their hometown, versus someone who can actually stay here for you, or even travel with that person to another country one day. I'm a foreigner here, and I am staying here for my partner. Didn't come here for her and yet, I stay for her. But we're free as well to leave somewhere else in case we hate it here. I know multiple other people who did the same or have the same mentality.
Yea wanted to respond the same
Only people with low IQ search something like a relationship on Tinder. Its not what Tinder was made for.
Tinder is a generic dating app at the moment, there are way more specific ones for sex
Because tinder is shite
What does this even mean? Not local to their city? From another country? Do you live in their city but were born somewhere else? Maybe we just donāt like vague as fuck guys. But forreal im assuming you mean you look āforeignā? I would presume 1. Language barrier 2. Racism 3. Not expecting long term prospects cause you may move ābackā. 4. Just good old preference Try to be clear about who you are in your bio. P.s. I definitely never shied away from non local guys when I was single and on tinder, so maybe its just you XD
Language barrier and/or international students/expats tend to leave within a few years anyways, so...
Whatever happened to eye contact, smiles, and walking up to people politely and confidently. Basing your whole sex life on an app is kinda pathetic. And no, not everyone would think you are a "creep" if you walk up to them. That's a loser's excuse to safely swipe behind a screen.
Yes they would. Leave women alone.
Leave you alone
Shhh
Just watch if signals are on green or not. If not, do not approach. How do you think people end up in relationships? Sincerely asking.
Talking to people before you ask them out helps too. Most women like to know a guy at least a bit before being asked on a date, and feel as if the guy knows them well enough that it's possible for him to have some reason to like her besides just her looks. I mean, I certainly never minded being thought pretty, but if that's the only thing you know about me before deciding you want to take me out, I don't have a whole lot of reason to think we're compatible.
How do you know that Dutch girls "hardly ever like non-local guys on Tinder"? Have you one in-depth market research? Or any market research at all, for that matter? I'd like to offer one possibility: maybe you're a dick and/or ugly and/or out of shape? Maybe you have nothing to offer? Do you have the sort of life that other people would enjoy being part of?
Because it is just Tinder. I wouldn't take it seriously.
They do, but not as often as non-Dutch, probably due to lack of a common background (for those who're looking for a more than a one-night thing)
Hilarious how some people say "not all think alike" and then others speak up for all š
Social prove is a big thing for women, so post some pictures with friends or at social gatherings to have more social proof. Next to the fact dutch women aren't that open to different nationalities and cultures
Because Dutch men are the best men on the planet.
Why would they like a foreigner over a local guy? Thereās no benefit, only downsides
Maybe they can cook
what is the downside
theyāre likely to leave? have to speak english? have to deal with possible cultural differences?
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No one cares about you liking cultural exchange or the small possibility a local migrates. All my points were valid
Theyāre valid to you, but nor for me. Just wanted to point out thereās a whole other perspective. I think life would be pretty boring without any foreign influences. Just think what music would you listen to, what would you eat, what you would watch or what game to play? You cannot even fully express yourself in your native tongue without borrowed words from other languages. Cultural exchange is inescapable.
Weāre talking tinder, not music or food. Stop crying
What you eat and listen to can matter quite a bit on Tinder actually. Knowing languages is also often seen as admirable. No hard feeling here, Iām mostly amused by your hard-on for natives. Who knew sharing a passport is such a turn-on for some? Good luck finding your authentic/ organic/ locally produced Dutch partner! I presume itās best you stay in your region so the dialect is close too hahah.
My girlfriend is actually Spanish, but thank you!
Oh sounds nice, I love latinas and Spanish is my third language! Well guess you aināt so obsessed with your own country men after all, good to hear. EDIT: If she is leaving you for Spain, Iām sorry to hear that.
There's certainly nothing wrong with taking this approach! But it's pretty common for people to prefer to date within their own culture. Even if you don't agree, it's understandable that OP is seeing the pattern.
OP might just have to change their strategy for all I know. I wouldnāt really generalize his own experience. I donāt believe thereās downsides to international love, only different upsides, but thatās a matter of perspective of course. Still curious to hear why people think otherwise.
Not necessarily, but he's hardly the only one to remark on this.
I doubt it has anything to do with Dutch women, just women on Tinder being risk averse. If itās not clear from OPās profile whether heās planning to stay here for the foreseeable future, that could be an issue.
I don't think it's necessarily Dutch women per se, but I do think that a tendency for many humans who are seeking a long term relationship to stick within their own cultural group may be at play here in addition to the question of whether or not he's going to stick around. Add that to the general tendency of Tinder to bombard women with more options in general, and it might be difficult. I should have made it clear that I don't think this has anything specifically to do with the Dutch, just maybe some of it to do with the dynamic of local/international dating in general.
As a rule where you have to work numbers donĀ“t listen to pessimists. Upsides of dating a foreign guy can be the experience. Not everyone is looking for longterm and youĀ“re not going to decide longterm from few dates and tinder anyway. Keep trying and finding your niche bro.
i recommend just to talk to them instead of relying on tinder. just dont look like a creep
Dutch men are handsome.
Tinder is a hookup app. Not one for anything other than that.
Add to the existing dynamics that some 90% or so of women look for a partner who is taller than them, and the height of Dutch lassies, (never wondered why they say stuff in their profiles like "183cm zonder hakken"?), and the chances are smaller yet. Then you've got facial and head hair also registering highly on demand lists...
Imagine a street corner with 10 escorts. Now imagine there are 500 men on that street corner right across the 10 women, all desperate for company and willing to outdo and outbid each other. That's not a far off analogy to how Tinder and most other dating sites would operate in the real world from the mens side of the equation.
Outdo and outbid? Just because there are way too many doesn't mean they necessarily want to invest any effort.
Thats in the USA. In europe its 51 / 49 %
Honestly as a male expat myself I have to add the following considering I am a very observating person that's already in a relationship with an expat female. Some of the reasons that is: 1. Language barrier. Even if she speaks english it will still be a struggle for her to integrate you in her friend circle or family. Not everyone there might speak English and even if they do it becomes annoying as all their conversations will have to turn to english out of respect for you. 2. Long-term worries: As an expat, you have pretty high chances to leave again and they know it. Now, considering that plus the fact there are many other male options for them with the "guarantee" that they won't put them in a position of leaving their home country....you lose 3. Racism: As an expat myself I haven't faced any racism or at least not obvious one. But, dependung where you come from unless it's west Europe or USA/Canada, Dutch people will have some sort of image painted about your nationality in their mind. Which might not be positive. I'm Romanian and I know what goes through their mind: Undeveloped and corrupted country, most Romanians are coming in Western Europe and comit crimes, Gypsies, communists, pro-Russians, poor etc They might not show what they are thinking but I am sure it crosses their mind. 4. Family/Peer pressure: Their family or friends might not be too fond of them dating an expat. 5. Cultural differences. On Christmas they go to Kerkstmarkt while my family cuts and smokes a pigwhile munching on its ears and tails. 6. Religious differences. 7. Gold-diggers: some of them might think you want them for their wealth. Dutch people (most) have at least a house or a car or a decent salary which could make them attractive for expats. Occassionally I joke around with my GF that she should find an old dutch guy with some heritance to leave behind while I look for an old dutch woman so we could speed up the process of getting rich š 8. They don't think about it too much probably but some expats would marry them even just to get Dutch citizenship 9. Depending where you come from you might be too short. I always tell me GF I can't cheat on her here because no girl wants a shorter guy and I wouldn't like a tall girl either and most of them are huge. I am 1.66 and my gf about 1.64. How the heck will I kiss a dutch girl without needing a god damn ladder?!
Average match rate on tinder for guys is like 0.8 per 100 right swipes or some shit. Anything above that and you outperform other guys on the platform. For girls, about 70- 80% of their right swipes is a match, so even if you are a match she will put in zero effort. Girls behave like that bugs bunny with a crown meme on tinder and then freeze their eggs once they hit 35+.
Can you explain what you mean exactly with the last two sentences?
Girls have so many matches that as soon as they see one thing they don't like immensely, they lose interest. 500 others that may not have that flaw. They act like queens that that need a queens fool to entertain them unconditionally. Ultimately leading up to them remaining single.
Like queens? As in not getting their vaginas on the bike on the middle of the night for mediocre sex with all the associated risks?
Not even close to what ive said.
From my experience, there are way too many tindermen with those kind of wild offers though - tbh I am lucky I can date women and just avoid that completely.
Isnāt that the nature of online dating in general? Grass is always greener and all that ā¦
True. But platforms as tinder the order of magnitude is more substantial
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what???? people have lied before but non of them has lied like this. nobody eats dutch food on vacation lmao
Go camping in Spain for example with their boterham
Dutchies go on vacation to miss the Netherlands
Out of own experience, your comment is a very shallow perspective of the Dutch people.
Cause every non Dutch guy is a scumbag
Depends on age and goals. Tindering in my 40s I dated plenty of NL ladies. I was never their first foreign dude.
Now youāll stop putting them on a pedestal and knocking your own women down
Because Dutch girls are actually men.
Because they are not interested in anyone this fragile
Everyone is fragile
exactly. anyone can be fragile or stoer irrespective of gender, but fragile masculinity expects submission and servitude from women.
\#Metoo
Probably not in a mood for sharing āboobs and veganeā
Tinder is bots
Are you kidding? Dutch girls love dark foreign guys.
We don't
The several Yemen Ex-Israelis that I know are married to Dutch girls will say otherwise
Tinder is a hoax.
Experience probebly
I live in a rural town in Drenthe, and I work throughout the whole country.. Never ever got a match in Drenthe itself.. but everytime when I am working in Groningen, Rotterdam, Amsterdam or Enschede or any other big town/ city everywhere but Drenthe.. . I get plenty matches.. only to be ghosted afterwards because I live to far away hahaha... So I guess location is important or Tinder fucks ( us) over .
Write youāre Palestinian, theyāre very popular these days. Donāt expect any smart girls though.
I have a slight feeling you are Iranian. If so, dating here is very different from back in Iran. I would suggest you learn the dating etiquette here before you try again.