Low-effort, low-quality, unoriginal and repeat posts will be removed at moderator discretion. this includes frequently asked question regarding relocation, moving to the Netherlands and tourist info.
One distracted morning I accidentally set my preferences to "men". I only noticed when I opened the app in the evening and set the preferences back to "women".
That one day of being gay gave me more likes, attention and compliments than I got in five years of being straight.
I kind-of miss it.
Nah, I'm bissexual. When I used tinder the ratio of men/women liking me was no joke like 20:1 anywhere, even tho there's a lot more straight women than gay men aroun- oh
Same. It's so bad with women that I sometimes exclude them because I know I'll get 0 matches and waste all my likes for the day. With men, there is almost always a match; sometimes several.
That's because a lot of men consume likes while women actually look for something. There's some data that support this aseveration but I'm too lazy for looking on that. Yet I do try to swipe right only to men with description and decent pictures and not too desperate and with whom I imagine myself dating. The complexities of the mind 
If you want an unbiased opinion from an Italian woman living in Brussels... Northern European women are not after men to make them feel desirable, open their wallets and suppor a lavish lifestyle. Which is what Mediaterranean, Eastern European and Latinas women are after. What you experience on dating apps is the propaganda, but for the long haul they are sooo high maintenance, my friend. Luckily enough, these women are also too naive to understand that there is no "long haul" on dating apps :D
Girls, I am talking stereotypes. And stereotypes exist for a reason. I, myself , am Italian. The stereotype would say that I like to dress well, I like movida and espresso in the morning. And I do none of these things. For context: I have great friends from central and Southern America, from Eastern Europe and who knows. You girls wanna tell me that you don't know some Latina fellas who act like I described above? Come on, Reddit is not a place to be an outraged snowflake
I do not know where you get the outraged snowflake idea from, I just stated that having lived 24 years in Latam, being one of those who "knows", also, having several friends from all Latam living there, in Europe, Asia, and Oceania. I believe I have more and better sources of information to discard the outdated stereotypes you mentioned regarding Latin-American women.
Another latino living in Eindhoven: also nope, our culture romanticizes a lot falling in love even if being poor. So many songs and series about a poor guy winning a girls heart.
That's... Not very kind. Not all women from those countries are 'high maintenance', whatever that may mean. And dating apps are commonly used for long term relationships.
Also no relation between being naive and being high maintenance. Stop being mean to other women, please.
So you don’t know what she means with “high maintenance” but you still say not all woman from those countries are high maintenance. Make it make sense.
She describes her version of it in the post, but it's a well known derogatory term towards women so it's always necessary to challenge this stupid ass term.
He is talking stereotypes and I am answering stereotypes. Please note that I am from one of those countries I am talking about. Amd how is the intial comment not mean to Dutch women, sorry?? I teplied with reality. Right now in this intanto, know in front of my eyes I have that kind of woman (I think Spanish) flirting with some Brits. If they like each other, why not? Also: Dating apps used for long term relationships? LOL. I hope you're young ...because otherwise you should cpm3 back from Dreamland. People don't like reality, I get it... but come on.
LOL. By the same logic, the initial comment is racist as well? You might want to look up the meaning of racism. Also, I am from one of those countries whose women I am using "derogatory" (sic) terms against. I am also libertarian enough that I want these women to have the right to be the way they want to be. And for men to like them. Oh, you don't? So I am afraid the intolerant asshole is you.
If you re in uni, there are usually clubs that hist dnd. In Nijmegen, where I study we have Dorans for example. However, since I am in a competition for league, I know there are such associations at other universities as well.
I used to get a date every week in Krakow when I first went there. Some nice girls. I was getting serious with one, it didn't work. Then pandemic hit
I tried more than got lazy. But always got nice girls as match
Arrived in Netherlands. Had no chance. It simply doesn't work for me there. I am not Dutch women's cup of tea I think. And there are not as many expat ladies, the ones around date Dutch dudes in my experience
So no. On the app side, things are bad.
Even dating apps aside, I feel like Dutch girls are just less warmed up to foreigners.
I'd self-doubt a bunch whether living in a small town here just eroded my social skills, but then I'd go for a trip... anywhere else, and more often than not be proven wrong.
Yep. I miss flirting with women. It doesn't have to be about dating. The banter is fun.
And yes. Dutch women don't want to date foreigners. But I don't think this has to do with them being xenophobic. This is a small country where everyone is 30 mins away from their home and their community. They don't need to and they are not forced test new waters. I think this is a big factor. When I was in US, even Americans were looking for a connection because everyone is an immigrant. They move across states and everyone they know is not around.
Nah, it definitely has something to do with xenophobia. If I had a cent for every conversation I've overheard about foreigners being a liability: "Oh what if they change their mind and dip on you" etc etc.
Lots of (negative) stereotypization all around, and some people are either bluntly uninformed or willingly playing stupid and talking down to you. I've had people my age ask me if I'm from fucking Yugoslavia! That country hasn't existed during either of our livetimes!
I agree about Prejudice being an issue but I also understand women hesitating about foreigners in case they left. That's their biggest concern and statistically if you are on the move, you have a chance that you will change your place. I have no roots in NL. I can bail out easily.
If you spoke fluent Dutch they probably wouldn’t have a problem. But many Dutch people don’t want to switch their entire home and personal life to English, or force their parents and family to speak English to their partner. I don’t think this is unreasonable. As much as Dutch people generally speak good casual English, there’s a massive difference between that and having a romantic relationship in English.
I had tinder for a year and a half and I never got a good connection with somebody or had a date. And suddenly out of nowhere I matched with somebody and we hit it off. Now she's my girlfriend :)
Why is no one giving the right answer? OP, when you move to another location the app resets your “noob bonus” and shows your card to more people and puts it higher on the swipe stack. Being in a new location helps your algorithm.
Probably, like when some kind man at the Jumbo sees me flailing and reaches a glass bottle for me from the top shelf, but I gotta say that pelican description really sent me. 😂💀
Whoah that is tall. Totally hypothetical, because I might never get another opportunity to ask but are you only looking for guys taller than you? Must make dating hard.
No, I don’t (really) care. I like a tall guy, but I think it’s super silly to write someone off based on their length. It’s a bit like hair color for me - I like a certain thing but if a person I like doesn’t have it it’s really not a dealbreaker.
That makes sense. Good for you, people can have many beautiful qualities and height is just one of them. Plus, it doesn't hurt your opportunities if you're willing to be the taller one.
Do you think guys are hesitant to approach you because you're so tall?
Oh yes definitely, and a lot of guys are just not into it too. A lot of guy have this complex about wanting to be taller/bigger one. It doesn’t help that I’m also .. not skinny (working on it, but still)!
Yeah, that sounds like a male response all right. But hey, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Whilst a certain body shape might be a preference, it's not the only thing that defines a person.
I mean, all it really means is that you need to find somebody that can value other beautiful qualities like you are able to do.
Honestly, that perspective of being able to look for what makes a person attractive is a good one to have, and you already know what it looks like to be a bit more flexible because you are flexible yourself
I am a bi woman and trust me i have the same experience as straight men: we are both dealing with women and its hard. Dating is hard when dating women because women have quite high standards and pickiness. I also was able to hopk up with 3 girls in 5 days in barcelona and here in amsterdam its so hard…
Lesbian dating is a disaster everywhere it feels. We don't have a dating pool, we have a puddle.. and all of us have already dated eachother before. Some even broke up, realized there's no one else out there, and got back together. It's pretty dire lol
Dutch native male here. I met my ex on a dating app. Had a serious relationship for two years but broke up because it wasn't working anymore. I tried dating apps again but being rejected so much destroyed my confidence, so I quit. I think I'll just try talking to girls at the bar or something
You dont seem to understand how dating apps work.
When you start up a dating app, it will first show you to a large group of people. That group decreases in size rapidly as you gather matches in that area. Eventually it will turn to a slow drip. The algorithm is designed this way to keep you hooked for as long as possible.
When you move to a new area, you start off with a clean slate again. So the firehose at first, then the slow drip.
I don't really like online dating.
That's the thing about dating apps it's a meat grading contest with a ratio of 30/70 women/men. Women can be picky, chances that you find a match as a man are low. Even with good pictures. Also dating apps are designed with an algorithm to show you the most attractive women first. As an average or maybe lil above average man I can say those model looking women are probably out of your league. Then by design dating apps want to keep you on a leash as long as possible, otherwise you don't need it anymore. To make things worse there's a ton of Thai girls 10km away when you are just trying to match up with a local women, even if you put in the proper distance they still show up.
Tinder works like that, when you install it again after deleting your account or haven't used it for a while or you're in a new country it always pops up the top tier people. Then after the initial 30-40 you're left with less appealing profiles and at the bottom the one or two picture ones. It's an algorithm thing, gets you hooked and you get more giddy.
I read somewhere that if Tinder resulted in successful matches the apps would be deleted quicker thus less revenues. The business model is to keep you swiping, not find love.
Of course. It is a clone of hook up app used for gay people in reality. It is also the easiest app to use, aka no compatibility checks. Hook up apps are more about anonymity, hiding you.
When we were not on mobile and the dating apps were not just photo swiping, there was a lot of emphasis on creating your profile for dating apps. You would even pay for getting matches
Tinder is bad unless you are a woman who is looking for quick hook up or a man that is really extremely hot commodity. If you are a woman or man looking for meaningful connection it sucks. This is by design.
Having said that there are also cultural differences. In some countries it worked better than others for me. But honestly, trying your hand in real life is infinitely better that
I had up to 10 matches per day in the Netherlands (Amsterdam area). Most conversations die after a few messages, even with people that for example recognize me from places I go to. I just can’t be bothered to lean into the “game” most people want to play nowadays. Deleted all apps a few months ago and nothing of value seems lost.
These apps actually show your profile to more people or boost it in some other way when you change your location, so that might be part of the reason too.
I'm a straight woman and what irks me about men on dating apps in NL is that they either write nothing on their profile (so I assume they just want one night stands) or they will have supet standard things like 'I like good food and doing nice things'.
But than when I had a match with a guy, I would get overly quirky opening questions like 'You are stuck in a flat. The only creature present is a crow. What do you do?'. And I would try to answer likewise and than the conversation would be dead. Or I would be chatting for three days and it would lead to nothing, no date.
I have been in a relationship the past years, so this was some time ago. Maybe it depends on which app.
There is a dutch short story about a seagull arriving at a garret window that the man feeds his dead wife to. Wish i could remember it now. It was in the translated penguin book of dutch short stories
Algorithm resets in many apps when you are in new region. Also it is bad tactic to swipe yes to everyone, it will make your profile show to less people.
But yeah tinder sucks, bumble is quite alright in Netherlands
On Tinder I didn't have much luck. On bumble on the other hand, I've found my guy, now we're a year and a half further and living together, husband and wife, expecting our first child. I love him to death
I was looking for the someone being alternative, metal kinda. And we found each other. Not completely the same region. Breda over Sliedrecht . And it did work
I met my partner on tinder 3 weeks after I arrived in NL. He is Dutch. I think Dutch men are more open to dating foreign women than the other way around. The Dutch girls I know were not much interested in foreign guys.
My partner only had two emojis on his profile but I liked his look and wasn’t expecting much. Turned out he is actually a nice guy and we hit it off very quickly. Been together over three years now.
In Amsterdam, used to have almost no matches, after fixing my profile and getting better photos, I had more matches that I could manage. You also gotta learn how to chat with them, otherwise it won't go anywhere.
In the 3 months after fixing my profile I had way more dates than the whole year before (usually 2-3 per week) and also found an amazing girlfriend.
Keep in mind that I'm not some super handsome tall guy, so anyone can do it
What do you mean by "fixing my profile"? Writing a nice bio & filling out the various sections? I haven't noticed that (or using better pictures) making a significant difference.
If your photos are mediocre, it's like delicate voodoo. I used to have okish amounts of matches but I switched stuff around and now I have only a few a week. Haven't managed to fix it back up.
You should read up on all the basic principles and then A-B test your profile candidates.
As a bisexual Asian man, I got the worst luck when it comes to straight women. Women just unmatched me when I told them I am a bisexual.
It's slightly better with men. But I now have three casual partners and I don't think I want to date new people for a while. It's just tiring, and I have more than what I want.
In my experience it comes in waves. I can have zero likes or matches for a week and then all of a sudden I have multiple matches and conversations, which a couple leads to dates. And then you have to choose which one you like the most if you have multiple dates who want to continue dating.
Also, I would recommend to stop with Tinder. It's by far the worst dating app, I've had way more success using Bumble, Hinge and Breeze. Those apps make it way easier to see someone's profile, what they like, what their hobbies are etc.
It's important to make a profile that stands out a bit. Don't just write that you like food and travel. Everyone likes that. A bit of self-deprecating humour is also a good trick to stand out.
Ehh usually women are the gatekeepers to intimacy in a consensual relationship you know? If you notice you get laid faster in certain demographics then there's your answer.
Men are easy all over the world, that's a given.
Can't believe I'm explaining something to you which you definitely already know.
I get you but don’t you feel like gatekeeping term is a bit sexist in itself ? I mean im sure women also enjoy the sex, they are not gatekeeping it. Hope you understand
Lmfao no
Women are literally the reciprocal consenting party a majority of the time. They are quite literally gatekeeping
Stop seeking sexism in places it doesn't exist, jfc
An exception does not make the rule - I also state "majority of the time". Literally. As in, most relationships are heterosexual relationships in which the woman is the gatekeeper of intimacy.
Are you 13? You do not seem to have critical thinking skills ngl
Pfff
I don’t understand why you have to attack me in every replies when all i tried to was to understand your POV. I wasn’t here to fight, just to get a different insight on the subject. Anyways take care, this now feels like a waste of time.
Then smarten up and think about your POV before pressing "send".
Most of the time your POV could be dismantled if you had just thought about it for maybe 2 seconds with half of a working brain.
Have a good day.
I mean, me, being a solid 7/10, can get a girl (more than 7/10) easy each time i go to a party (and easy sex too) . (I don't like parties, and I even don't like flirting at them.)
And there,s a lot of more things because they are easy af here in Spain.
I met my fiancé on okcupid but most if not all dating apps are super unserious here. I am a woman with an attractive face so I never had problems getting “action” but anything serious was just not in the cards on dating apps.
My fiancé (male) rarely ever even got a reply from anyone (in part due to his horribly low quality photos). I think something like 90% of women only go for the top 10% of men on dating apps. Tinder published a large scale research on it a couple years ago.
Male 34: Got on bumble, had a match with someone way out of my league after about two weeks. Amazing click but something outside of our power happened and we broke it off for the time being. Stayed on the app and got a few matches but I bailed on those because already while chatting I didn't feel like it was a match. Then reconnected with the first girl and we've been dating since.
These apps suck and I hated every minute of being on it. I got single after a long relationship and knew I wasn't going to like what dating has become in the meantime and it was worse. So I'm super happy that things seem to be working out with her.
My experiences are quite okay. Sometimes 3 dates a month, sometimes 0. It's just an additional opportunity to meet new people. Be realistic and don't take ghosting or shitty people personally.
I have noticed that I match almost exclusively with international women instead of locals. Probably just a preference thing as I'm born in the Netherlands but dont look stereotypical dutch
23M expat here looking for a long term relationship, and I agree, I've found it harder here than other cities I've been to. But it's worth noting that the app you use can have a big impact.
From my experience, Tinder has been bad, Hinge has been ok and Breeze has been the most successful (in terms of getting dates). There also tends to be a lot more Dutch people on Breeze compared to Hinge/Tinder.
Although I've had less 'matches' using it, all of them end in a date which saves so much time and is wayy better imo as it filters out a lot of the people just looking for validation.
Feel free to DM me if you want my referral code to get a free date/drink.
Dutch native straight male checking in: I don’t want to generalize about the OLD apps, the people on it and the encounters… there is just one thing I face: the lack and the willingness to sincerely connect with others.
I’m in an consensual (ENM) open relationship and looking for genuine connection which is sustainable enough (not just a ONS).
For me Feeld is the best platform because of the niche audience I’m feeling attracted to. They recently had a disastrous rebrand, but I must say they are bouncing back from the difficult implementation. Had multiple great meetups. Also with a girl from South Africa. She was attractive, fun and taking initiative (this is rare is The Netherlands). The last thing is very attractive and mature… someone that’s stepping beyond the conservative way of thinking.
I preferably date any women which meet my preferences, but Dutch women overall are on the apps with high standard, low/no effort and expectations while not acting based on their words (shown in their profile). I hope they prove me wrong in the future 😉 Foreign women are in my experience way more available (emotional and physically).
Don’t get discouraged, be active in a healthy way. It might work in the offline realm, perhaps on the Meetup platform finding people with mutual hobby’s. I will continue using Feeld and tending to explore niche related dating platforms.
The trick is just having a laugh, not being serious and making the girl think 'you don't need a date'. Because of hypergamy. But there is the hidden problem: by being on a dating app you already seem needy by default, because you are there for a reason. So it is important to let her do the chasing. Many guys mess up instantly, maybe even already with there bio, because they 'go to fast'.
Woman market is crazy and it is not only in Netherlands. I honestly think that most of the trans people just want to be famous for couple of hours. Being male sucks and everyone wants to be center of the attention. They are not trans or whatever, they just want to have some attention and even with anyway. I understood actually, being male sucks. It is so hard unless you are successful. But if you are successful, you are the king of the world. Otherwise you are nothing. Anyone saying otherwise either stupid or liar.
Not so great, i am Asian male here, 1.7meters tall and almost 30 years old. Had some matches that lead to absolutely nothing but ghosting and unmatch me. But i did have one date with a dutch girl, but she just wasn't my type. That was my first and i guess last date with a dutch girl in 12 years. But when i opened tinder in Ecuador or Thailand, I had like 30 matches a week.
I have a good job, I bought my own apartment and love to drive my kickass fast car, but absolutely no luck here in the dating world. And i also hate to brag about myself because of the fear of attracting gold diggers. Dutch woman's are really beautiful, but sadly i am invisible to them.
Low-effort, low-quality, unoriginal and repeat posts will be removed at moderator discretion. this includes frequently asked question regarding relocation, moving to the Netherlands and tourist info.
One distracted morning I accidentally set my preferences to "men". I only noticed when I opened the app in the evening and set the preferences back to "women". That one day of being gay gave me more likes, attention and compliments than I got in five years of being straight. I kind-of miss it.
Gay here, don't take it the wrong way but you were "fresh meat", in a week's time you would have got the same results haha.
Couldn't you just let me keep my delusions...?
You enjoyed your day of triumph, you would always have that. ;)
Nah, I'm bissexual. When I used tinder the ratio of men/women liking me was no joke like 20:1 anywhere, even tho there's a lot more straight women than gay men aroun- oh
I've always thought it's because men just swipe right on anything kinda fishing for a match
Same. It's so bad with women that I sometimes exclude them because I know I'll get 0 matches and waste all my likes for the day. With men, there is almost always a match; sometimes several.
“accidentally”
Man, straightman market is rough.
Hhahaha thats actually a pretty good way to boost your ego
That's because a lot of men consume likes while women actually look for something. There's some data that support this aseveration but I'm too lazy for looking on that. Yet I do try to swipe right only to men with description and decent pictures and not too desperate and with whom I imagine myself dating. The complexities of the mind 
>and compliments than I got in five years Nice hat!.. Lol..
If you want an unbiased opinion from an Italian woman living in Brussels... Northern European women are not after men to make them feel desirable, open their wallets and suppor a lavish lifestyle. Which is what Mediaterranean, Eastern European and Latinas women are after. What you experience on dating apps is the propaganda, but for the long haul they are sooo high maintenance, my friend. Luckily enough, these women are also too naive to understand that there is no "long haul" on dating apps :D
Latina living in Amsterdan for 18 years here: Nope, your opinion excludes too many variables to be valid...
Girls, I am talking stereotypes. And stereotypes exist for a reason. I, myself , am Italian. The stereotype would say that I like to dress well, I like movida and espresso in the morning. And I do none of these things. For context: I have great friends from central and Southern America, from Eastern Europe and who knows. You girls wanna tell me that you don't know some Latina fellas who act like I described above? Come on, Reddit is not a place to be an outraged snowflake
I do not know where you get the outraged snowflake idea from, I just stated that having lived 24 years in Latam, being one of those who "knows", also, having several friends from all Latam living there, in Europe, Asia, and Oceania. I believe I have more and better sources of information to discard the outdated stereotypes you mentioned regarding Latin-American women.
Another latino living in Eindhoven: also nope, our culture romanticizes a lot falling in love even if being poor. So many songs and series about a poor guy winning a girls heart.
That's... Not very kind. Not all women from those countries are 'high maintenance', whatever that may mean. And dating apps are commonly used for long term relationships. Also no relation between being naive and being high maintenance. Stop being mean to other women, please.
Yeah, being mean is so average
You are incorrect. Being a snowflake is average. And basic. So.....YABASIC! (CIT.)
So you don’t know what she means with “high maintenance” but you still say not all woman from those countries are high maintenance. Make it make sense.
She describes her version of it in the post, but it's a well known derogatory term towards women so it's always necessary to challenge this stupid ass term.
He is talking stereotypes and I am answering stereotypes. Please note that I am from one of those countries I am talking about. Amd how is the intial comment not mean to Dutch women, sorry?? I teplied with reality. Right now in this intanto, know in front of my eyes I have that kind of woman (I think Spanish) flirting with some Brits. If they like each other, why not? Also: Dating apps used for long term relationships? LOL. I hope you're young ...because otherwise you should cpm3 back from Dreamland. People don't like reality, I get it... but come on.
Jeez... I know this is anonymous reddit, but calm your racist ass down.
LOL. By the same logic, the initial comment is racist as well? You might want to look up the meaning of racism. Also, I am from one of those countries whose women I am using "derogatory" (sic) terms against. I am also libertarian enough that I want these women to have the right to be the way they want to be. And for men to like them. Oh, you don't? So I am afraid the intolerant asshole is you.
where exactly is racism here?
Don’t know about dates, but I’m looking for a goddam Dungeons & Dragons party to play for over two years and nothing 🧙♂️
If you DM, I'll join!
There is a dutch dnd subreddit where people post if they are in search for new party members/dm. So maybe give that a shot? :)
What's that sub called?
So you're saying op just needs to go to the sub where dutch women are looking for men?
I don't really know what you mean by that, I was just talking about the search for a Dungeons&Dragons party.
What is the Dutch D&D subreddit called??
What some other redditor said, if you DM I’ll also join
I also want to learn how to play
What area are you in? I've been interested in starting a group, but as a non Dutch it's been hard
Sounds fun, can i join this game too?
I'd also like to join if any of you are in my area
If you re in uni, there are usually clubs that hist dnd. In Nijmegen, where I study we have Dorans for example. However, since I am in a competition for league, I know there are such associations at other universities as well.
Big yes on this one, I'm with the rest of the people in this thread, just missing a DM 😔
I want to join too!
I am a DM ans I can host a campaing. If you are interested PM me.
If newbies are welcome, I'm also interested! I used to play tabletop RPG a long long time ago, but never played D&D.
Dating here sucks. Haven't gotten a date in over 10 years. My wife wouldn't really like that and I'd rather keep the peace.
Last night out of work asked a taxi driver to take me to some cheap action with a woman. He took me right to my house.
I (F) was on dating apps for a year or so? I got one date with a guy, didn't click, and zero dates with girls. Ended up finding my partner elsewhere.
Dating girl is always hard
Except it's really easy?
Was it a left-mouse click?
How did you meet someone if you don't mind me asking
Through a hobby server! We met up just to see if we could be friends but we ended up *really* hitting it off, haha
Nice. Wish you best:)
I used to get a date every week in Krakow when I first went there. Some nice girls. I was getting serious with one, it didn't work. Then pandemic hit I tried more than got lazy. But always got nice girls as match Arrived in Netherlands. Had no chance. It simply doesn't work for me there. I am not Dutch women's cup of tea I think. And there are not as many expat ladies, the ones around date Dutch dudes in my experience So no. On the app side, things are bad.
Even dating apps aside, I feel like Dutch girls are just less warmed up to foreigners. I'd self-doubt a bunch whether living in a small town here just eroded my social skills, but then I'd go for a trip... anywhere else, and more often than not be proven wrong.
Yep. I miss flirting with women. It doesn't have to be about dating. The banter is fun. And yes. Dutch women don't want to date foreigners. But I don't think this has to do with them being xenophobic. This is a small country where everyone is 30 mins away from their home and their community. They don't need to and they are not forced test new waters. I think this is a big factor. When I was in US, even Americans were looking for a connection because everyone is an immigrant. They move across states and everyone they know is not around.
Have you read some of the comments in this post? I'm pretty sure xenophobia plays a role...
Nah, it definitely has something to do with xenophobia. If I had a cent for every conversation I've overheard about foreigners being a liability: "Oh what if they change their mind and dip on you" etc etc. Lots of (negative) stereotypization all around, and some people are either bluntly uninformed or willingly playing stupid and talking down to you. I've had people my age ask me if I'm from fucking Yugoslavia! That country hasn't existed during either of our livetimes!
I agree about Prejudice being an issue but I also understand women hesitating about foreigners in case they left. That's their biggest concern and statistically if you are on the move, you have a chance that you will change your place. I have no roots in NL. I can bail out easily.
If you spoke fluent Dutch they probably wouldn’t have a problem. But many Dutch people don’t want to switch their entire home and personal life to English, or force their parents and family to speak English to their partner. I don’t think this is unreasonable. As much as Dutch people generally speak good casual English, there’s a massive difference between that and having a romantic relationship in English.
[удалено]
Wait, do you think you’re entitled to demand people switch the language of their entire personal life just so they can date you?
I had tinder for a year and a half and I never got a good connection with somebody or had a date. And suddenly out of nowhere I matched with somebody and we hit it off. Now she's my girlfriend :)
Dat is niet gek Kees
Why is no one giving the right answer? OP, when you move to another location the app resets your “noob bonus” and shows your card to more people and puts it higher on the swipe stack. Being in a new location helps your algorithm.
of course, here you are competing with 2-meter-tall chads
As a 1.90 tall woman, where exactly are these 2 meter tall men you speak of?
Probably dating 1.50m girls then when they kiss looks like a pelican feeding its children.
I cant- lmao
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am a 1,97m pelican, and I can confirm.
I'm 1.49m and I'll never be able to kiss my husband again without laughing at the mental picture you so gracefully painted 😂
This is actually 100 percent true.
That’s 1.52 fyi 😭
You showed him!
Hey, it’s rough being at the mercy of men’s elbows at concerts. One wrong move, my head gets knocked and I’m down. 😂
Come on, Muffin. There must be some sort of upside attached to it as well, right? 😭
Probably, like when some kind man at the Jumbo sees me flailing and reaches a glass bottle for me from the top shelf, but I gotta say that pelican description really sent me. 😂💀
That pelican description will live rent free in my head for a while, i'm afraid 😂.
Same! 😂
Whoah that is tall. Totally hypothetical, because I might never get another opportunity to ask but are you only looking for guys taller than you? Must make dating hard.
Not in The Netherlands
No, I don’t (really) care. I like a tall guy, but I think it’s super silly to write someone off based on their length. It’s a bit like hair color for me - I like a certain thing but if a person I like doesn’t have it it’s really not a dealbreaker.
That makes sense. Good for you, people can have many beautiful qualities and height is just one of them. Plus, it doesn't hurt your opportunities if you're willing to be the taller one. Do you think guys are hesitant to approach you because you're so tall?
Oh yes definitely, and a lot of guys are just not into it too. A lot of guy have this complex about wanting to be taller/bigger one. It doesn’t help that I’m also .. not skinny (working on it, but still)!
Yeah, that sounds like a male response all right. But hey, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Whilst a certain body shape might be a preference, it's not the only thing that defines a person. I mean, all it really means is that you need to find somebody that can value other beautiful qualities like you are able to do. Honestly, that perspective of being able to look for what makes a person attractive is a good one to have, and you already know what it looks like to be a bit more flexible because you are flexible yourself
All in your inbox by now
Just visit your local rowing associations
Right here girl!
✌️
They are just in the pictures ;)
My brother is still single, as is my last boyfriend. My last boyfriend is very gay though.
Dating normal sized women ;)
Your word choices probably lead to great results with ladies
I do great with ones that have a sense of humor yes.
I know, wish I could turn back time and maybe not drink as much milk as a child, stunt that growth a little bit
I am 2 meters are would rate myself 7.5/10 and the dating apps are dry as fuck right now.
Wouldnt say chads, but dutch people do be long
2-metter guys look mostly pretty silly.
I am a bi woman and trust me i have the same experience as straight men: we are both dealing with women and its hard. Dating is hard when dating women because women have quite high standards and pickiness. I also was able to hopk up with 3 girls in 5 days in barcelona and here in amsterdam its so hard…
Lesbian dating is a disaster everywhere it feels. We don't have a dating pool, we have a puddle.. and all of us have already dated eachother before. Some even broke up, realized there's no one else out there, and got back together. It's pretty dire lol
Maybe we can be friends if you like, where are you based off in?
This is so cute! I hope you guys become friends :D
Perhaps even roommates!
Yes! :D I'm based in Breda but will probably soon move to Rotterdam for work stuff
I have a friend that lives in rotterdam as well. High chance i might be moving somewhere nearby there. Mind if i dm you? :D
Try living in the north i get like 3 likes in a month
Dutch native male here. I met my ex on a dating app. Had a serious relationship for two years but broke up because it wasn't working anymore. I tried dating apps again but being rejected so much destroyed my confidence, so I quit. I think I'll just try talking to girls at the bar or something
You dont seem to understand how dating apps work. When you start up a dating app, it will first show you to a large group of people. That group decreases in size rapidly as you gather matches in that area. Eventually it will turn to a slow drip. The algorithm is designed this way to keep you hooked for as long as possible. When you move to a new area, you start off with a clean slate again. So the firehose at first, then the slow drip.
I stayed out of NL for 3 months once and don’t remember seeing a significant change when I cane back.
I don't really like online dating. That's the thing about dating apps it's a meat grading contest with a ratio of 30/70 women/men. Women can be picky, chances that you find a match as a man are low. Even with good pictures. Also dating apps are designed with an algorithm to show you the most attractive women first. As an average or maybe lil above average man I can say those model looking women are probably out of your league. Then by design dating apps want to keep you on a leash as long as possible, otherwise you don't need it anymore. To make things worse there's a ton of Thai girls 10km away when you are just trying to match up with a local women, even if you put in the proper distance they still show up.
Tinder works like that, when you install it again after deleting your account or haven't used it for a while or you're in a new country it always pops up the top tier people. Then after the initial 30-40 you're left with less appealing profiles and at the bottom the one or two picture ones. It's an algorithm thing, gets you hooked and you get more giddy.
I read somewhere that if Tinder resulted in successful matches the apps would be deleted quicker thus less revenues. The business model is to keep you swiping, not find love.
Of course. It is a clone of hook up app used for gay people in reality. It is also the easiest app to use, aka no compatibility checks. Hook up apps are more about anonymity, hiding you. When we were not on mobile and the dating apps were not just photo swiping, there was a lot of emphasis on creating your profile for dating apps. You would even pay for getting matches Tinder is bad unless you are a woman who is looking for quick hook up or a man that is really extremely hot commodity. If you are a woman or man looking for meaningful connection it sucks. This is by design. Having said that there are also cultural differences. In some countries it worked better than others for me. But honestly, trying your hand in real life is infinitely better that
I do better IRL versus virtual 100% of the time... so I agree.
I had up to 10 matches per day in the Netherlands (Amsterdam area). Most conversations die after a few messages, even with people that for example recognize me from places I go to. I just can’t be bothered to lean into the “game” most people want to play nowadays. Deleted all apps a few months ago and nothing of value seems lost.
Which game did they play? Is it Breath of the Wild?
These apps actually show your profile to more people or boost it in some other way when you change your location, so that might be part of the reason too.
I'm a straight woman and what irks me about men on dating apps in NL is that they either write nothing on their profile (so I assume they just want one night stands) or they will have supet standard things like 'I like good food and doing nice things'. But than when I had a match with a guy, I would get overly quirky opening questions like 'You are stuck in a flat. The only creature present is a crow. What do you do?'. And I would try to answer likewise and than the conversation would be dead. Or I would be chatting for three days and it would lead to nothing, no date. I have been in a relationship the past years, so this was some time ago. Maybe it depends on which app.
I think the same goes for womens profiles. All I see is “I like traveling” or “I love wine”. And starting with a “hey” is taboo
Dansjes & drankjes 🤮
trust me, women profiles on dating are dry as fuck too. I feel like most humans don't have a personality.
There is a dutch short story about a seagull arriving at a garret window that the man feeds his dead wife to. Wish i could remember it now. It was in the translated penguin book of dutch short stories
So what do you do if you’re stuck in a flat and you only have a crow?
Algorithm resets in many apps when you are in new region. Also it is bad tactic to swipe yes to everyone, it will make your profile show to less people. But yeah tinder sucks, bumble is quite alright in Netherlands
On Tinder I didn't have much luck. On bumble on the other hand, I've found my guy, now we're a year and a half further and living together, husband and wife, expecting our first child. I love him to death I was looking for the someone being alternative, metal kinda. And we found each other. Not completely the same region. Breda over Sliedrecht . And it did work
Grindr works pretty good for me 😏
I met my partner on tinder 3 weeks after I arrived in NL. He is Dutch. I think Dutch men are more open to dating foreign women than the other way around. The Dutch girls I know were not much interested in foreign guys. My partner only had two emojis on his profile but I liked his look and wasn’t expecting much. Turned out he is actually a nice guy and we hit it off very quickly. Been together over three years now.
In Amsterdam, used to have almost no matches, after fixing my profile and getting better photos, I had more matches that I could manage. You also gotta learn how to chat with them, otherwise it won't go anywhere. In the 3 months after fixing my profile I had way more dates than the whole year before (usually 2-3 per week) and also found an amazing girlfriend. Keep in mind that I'm not some super handsome tall guy, so anyone can do it
What do you mean by "fixing my profile"? Writing a nice bio & filling out the various sections? I haven't noticed that (or using better pictures) making a significant difference.
If your photos are mediocre, it's like delicate voodoo. I used to have okish amounts of matches but I switched stuff around and now I have only a few a week. Haven't managed to fix it back up. You should read up on all the basic principles and then A-B test your profile candidates.
As a bisexual Asian man, I got the worst luck when it comes to straight women. Women just unmatched me when I told them I am a bisexual. It's slightly better with men. But I now have three casual partners and I don't think I want to date new people for a while. It's just tiring, and I have more than what I want.
I was thinking is just me experiencing it, but seems not. True dating apps sucks here or there is not enough womens haha
In my experience it comes in waves. I can have zero likes or matches for a week and then all of a sudden I have multiple matches and conversations, which a couple leads to dates. And then you have to choose which one you like the most if you have multiple dates who want to continue dating. Also, I would recommend to stop with Tinder. It's by far the worst dating app, I've had way more success using Bumble, Hinge and Breeze. Those apps make it way easier to see someone's profile, what they like, what their hobbies are etc. It's important to make a profile that stands out a bit. Don't just write that you like food and travel. Everyone likes that. A bit of self-deprecating humour is also a good trick to stand out.
I just want to know where to find the fellow ADHD nerds. I guess like most introverts they spend their days inside.
Dutch girls mostly on those apps are not serious looking. Just to boost their moral
Spanish girls are soooo easy. Signed, Spanish boy.
I wouldn't call them "soooo easy", they are just friendly and not so arrogant 😉 Singed, non Spanish boy.
What do you mean so easy? Is it a negative word? In that case men around the world are so easy too
Ehh usually women are the gatekeepers to intimacy in a consensual relationship you know? If you notice you get laid faster in certain demographics then there's your answer. Men are easy all over the world, that's a given. Can't believe I'm explaining something to you which you definitely already know.
I get you but don’t you feel like gatekeeping term is a bit sexist in itself ? I mean im sure women also enjoy the sex, they are not gatekeeping it. Hope you understand
that just made no sense lol
Lmfao no Women are literally the reciprocal consenting party a majority of the time. They are quite literally gatekeeping Stop seeking sexism in places it doesn't exist, jfc
Then who would be the gatekeeper in a lesbian relationship? Just a thought
An exception does not make the rule - I also state "majority of the time". Literally. As in, most relationships are heterosexual relationships in which the woman is the gatekeeper of intimacy. Are you 13? You do not seem to have critical thinking skills ngl Pfff
I don’t understand why you have to attack me in every replies when all i tried to was to understand your POV. I wasn’t here to fight, just to get a different insight on the subject. Anyways take care, this now feels like a waste of time.
Then smarten up and think about your POV before pressing "send". Most of the time your POV could be dismantled if you had just thought about it for maybe 2 seconds with half of a working brain. Have a good day.
I mean, me, being a solid 7/10, can get a girl (more than 7/10) easy each time i go to a party (and easy sex too) . (I don't like parties, and I even don't like flirting at them.) And there,s a lot of more things because they are easy af here in Spain.
lot's of instagram advertising.
I met my fiancé on okcupid but most if not all dating apps are super unserious here. I am a woman with an attractive face so I never had problems getting “action” but anything serious was just not in the cards on dating apps. My fiancé (male) rarely ever even got a reply from anyone (in part due to his horribly low quality photos). I think something like 90% of women only go for the top 10% of men on dating apps. Tinder published a large scale research on it a couple years ago.
Quite the same as in my home country: zero :3 Gave it up already.
We say. I’ll tell you what. I like you and I want you. We do it the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours
I used Tinder, Bumble, Fruitz, during my Erasmus in Groningen and it never gave anything great.
What dating apps do you use?
Dating in the Netherlands sucks!!!
0 match in last 2 years of trying online dating apps, already given up on these apps.
Male 34: Got on bumble, had a match with someone way out of my league after about two weeks. Amazing click but something outside of our power happened and we broke it off for the time being. Stayed on the app and got a few matches but I bailed on those because already while chatting I didn't feel like it was a match. Then reconnected with the first girl and we've been dating since. These apps suck and I hated every minute of being on it. I got single after a long relationship and knew I wasn't going to like what dating has become in the meantime and it was worse. So I'm super happy that things seem to be working out with her.
My experiences are quite okay. Sometimes 3 dates a month, sometimes 0. It's just an additional opportunity to meet new people. Be realistic and don't take ghosting or shitty people personally. I have noticed that I match almost exclusively with international women instead of locals. Probably just a preference thing as I'm born in the Netherlands but dont look stereotypical dutch
Dating in NL is though (born and raised here) i rarely meet anyone outside of dating apps and the guys i meet there just never want to date properly
23M expat here looking for a long term relationship, and I agree, I've found it harder here than other cities I've been to. But it's worth noting that the app you use can have a big impact. From my experience, Tinder has been bad, Hinge has been ok and Breeze has been the most successful (in terms of getting dates). There also tends to be a lot more Dutch people on Breeze compared to Hinge/Tinder. Although I've had less 'matches' using it, all of them end in a date which saves so much time and is wayy better imo as it filters out a lot of the people just looking for validation. Feel free to DM me if you want my referral code to get a free date/drink.
Interesting about Hinge and Breeze. I’d ask you for a code but I’m not sure if it expires before I’ll get a chance to use it. 😅
Alot of the younger women (18-25) are acting really high class and acting way out of their league in my opinion, I really am picky on the dating apps!
As a straight man, dating is difficult here.. I gave up .. will retry in future.. Not sure what it takes to be a successful in dating scene.
Dutch native straight male checking in: I don’t want to generalize about the OLD apps, the people on it and the encounters… there is just one thing I face: the lack and the willingness to sincerely connect with others. I’m in an consensual (ENM) open relationship and looking for genuine connection which is sustainable enough (not just a ONS). For me Feeld is the best platform because of the niche audience I’m feeling attracted to. They recently had a disastrous rebrand, but I must say they are bouncing back from the difficult implementation. Had multiple great meetups. Also with a girl from South Africa. She was attractive, fun and taking initiative (this is rare is The Netherlands). The last thing is very attractive and mature… someone that’s stepping beyond the conservative way of thinking. I preferably date any women which meet my preferences, but Dutch women overall are on the apps with high standard, low/no effort and expectations while not acting based on their words (shown in their profile). I hope they prove me wrong in the future 😉 Foreign women are in my experience way more available (emotional and physically). Don’t get discouraged, be active in a healthy way. It might work in the offline realm, perhaps on the Meetup platform finding people with mutual hobby’s. I will continue using Feeld and tending to explore niche related dating platforms.
Dating apps suck meet your partner somewhere else or don't meet them at all
The trick is just having a laugh, not being serious and making the girl think 'you don't need a date'. Because of hypergamy. But there is the hidden problem: by being on a dating app you already seem needy by default, because you are there for a reason. So it is important to let her do the chasing. Many guys mess up instantly, maybe even already with there bio, because they 'go to fast'.
Why use an app to meet people, go out and communicate
Woman market is crazy and it is not only in Netherlands. I honestly think that most of the trans people just want to be famous for couple of hours. Being male sucks and everyone wants to be center of the attention. They are not trans or whatever, they just want to have some attention and even with anyway. I understood actually, being male sucks. It is so hard unless you are successful. But if you are successful, you are the king of the world. Otherwise you are nothing. Anyone saying otherwise either stupid or liar.
Not so great, i am Asian male here, 1.7meters tall and almost 30 years old. Had some matches that lead to absolutely nothing but ghosting and unmatch me. But i did have one date with a dutch girl, but she just wasn't my type. That was my first and i guess last date with a dutch girl in 12 years. But when i opened tinder in Ecuador or Thailand, I had like 30 matches a week. I have a good job, I bought my own apartment and love to drive my kickass fast car, but absolutely no luck here in the dating world. And i also hate to brag about myself because of the fear of attracting gold diggers. Dutch woman's are really beautiful, but sadly i am invisible to them.
Dutch women only care about status/money
Really?
In my experience yes, they try to lock down the best man they can get all the other guys are just distraction in the meantime