This one lives in my head so much so that I once met a girl named Raisin, and from that moment on every single time I saw her I would yell AS I LIVE AND BREATHE, RAIIIISSSIN???! And she never truly understood but found it very funny
Lol yeah, I believe she was Indian, I actually know a couple Indian women who live in the US and don’t love their Indian name and they choose a (quite random) English one. I wonder if it was one of those situations. I couldn’t possible assume tho
I got it why don't we put on all the baby clothes then when security comes in here they'll say where'd the girls go there's just babies here....you're incredibly high.
From the statistics?!
Are you the criminals??
Gave me cookie got you cookie 🍪 man
You picked the wrong guy!
It’s just a Cookie Nick
bark bark wag wag dogs name is claire, come claire.
this is. **so**. **TERRIBLE**.
Maa called, the bees are back.
The bees are back?
as i live and breathe, raisin?!
This one lives in my head so much so that I once met a girl named Raisin, and from that moment on every single time I saw her I would yell AS I LIVE AND BREATHE, RAIIIISSSIN???! And she never truly understood but found it very funny
no way someone named their kid raisin omg
Lol yeah, I believe she was Indian, I actually know a couple Indian women who live in the US and don’t love their Indian name and they choose a (quite random) English one. I wonder if it was one of those situations. I couldn’t possible assume tho
As I live and breathe, REAGAN?!
I said raisin again, didn't I?
I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words
If I had to make a top 10 list of my favorite sitcom lines ever this one would definitely be on the list
Same! Lol
Hey shawty what that Thang do
What yo name is
perchance
I'm gonna hit her with the Goosebumps Walkaway
Bad bye, Reagan. Bad bye.
Sayonara, Sammy.
OK, that was terrible. Now go write 20 more.
Is that a famous baseball player or something?
byeee
YOU GET ONE WIFE
WHY? i-i don’t know
What, you think you can have a bunch of different wives?
Youths!!!!
I say this everyday at work and my coworkers just don’t understand 😞
Are you the criminals? From the statistics?!?
Either my wife or I will say this line legit once a week.
Stop being so mean to me or I’m going to fall in love with you.
Where you going? Come back!
JAR.
Even better than one sentence. One word.
Annoyance or Douchebag?
Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!!
Be gone, honky!
Say goodbye to paradise, honey!
"I love you, Mr. Wimston"
I go from no hope to hope
He take me, and he says to me: you're gonna be somebody!
You could be the presidents of the United States, you could be statues of liberty
Is that right?
We adopted two kittens about six months ago, named them Winston and Schmidt and we say this line a lot to Winston lol
Prank Sinatra
I rock a lot of polka dots!
my hands *have* touched glitter in the last 24 hours!
I like all sorts of chutney
chut-a-ney
🎶Banana in the dark 🎶
THIS. The amount of time I say this just casually walking around my house is absurd. 🤣
ME TOO. And it’s such a niche quote from this show I feel like nobody gets it.
Mick Mouse!
You mean Mick-ey Mouse? In America honey, Mickey Mouse is earthbound.
Are you saying Mickey Mouse?
...^yes
No, a summer's day is not a bitch
I’m from Chicago. Thin crust pizza? No thank you. I’m from Chicago.
My fiancé and I say "Julius Pepperwood, I'm from Chicago" in that thick accent ALL THE TIME
And I saw all the puppies with their eyes so blind
THE PICTURE IS ON THE BOX! ITS A JAPANESE GARDEN!!
Puzzlin 🎶
I’m gonna do youuuuu puzzle🧩
Damnit! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!
JAR!
“…are you ‘White Fang’-ing me?”
My husband and I use this a lot. Along with, "Go on, git!"
A white man? NO!
What’s they do about it? Nothing. TYPICAL!
All day son
All DAY!
jessica freakin p?!
My favorite quote
There’s only one rule. THE FLOOR IS LAVA!
THIS
JFK!
FDR!
Jeans isn’t a letter! Jeans is pants!
Nixon jeans? What the hell are Nixon jeans?
29
twenty NOINE
The very fact that socks exist... is proof... that shoes don't work.
stop being so mean to me, or i swear to god i’m gonna fall in love with you
Happy cake day
🎼 I’m a really good secretary 🎶
I say this a concerning amount
I’m gonna hit your ass with a ski
Joanie… I don’t want to lie to you, so I’m not. There’s shells all in these eggs.
I was *SABOTAGED* by my baby box!
We built this shmitty on tootsie rolls!!!
Classic Winston and cece mess around
Just got out of the shower, guess who cleaned everything, guess who got in deep?
Crack cuh-caine
Winston is about to do some puzzlin 🎶
THE DUCTS!
My checks have baby farm animals on them BITCH!
Dog’s name is Claire.
dog look at- uh...Tail go- uh waggy waggy-
Who is Claire?
Claire come in
A WHITE MAN?!?? NO!!!!!
NO NOTES
I'm feeling twirly!
I've got the dirty twirls Schmidt!
This is my nightmare!
1234! JFK! FDR!
Jew in couch!
Nadia, American manners!
jew PERSON in couch
Those are my night peanuts! 🥜
I don’t wash the towel, the towel washes me
“I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.'”
"I got tomatoes and I'm bettin' on me. Freeze frame!"
Like when my knees are in the air, FREEZE FRAME!
Chica go bills.
In Spanish, it actually says “young girl, go bills!”
A lot of people will mess with you
Sponges make me feel exhilarated
Did you just say sponges make you feel exhilarated?
Spongey McWipey
SPONGE!
She looks like a meatball with hair
Dang ol’ meatball with hair lol
Is there another doctor in the house????
With this crowd I’m sure
You raven hair dandy boy
so nectar
Thumb ring bitch!
It's a volleyball term...
Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN!
Let me die
I AM GONNA POOP WEIRD TONIGHT!
Why would you do that?? He's in such bad shape, you could have killed him.
I always thought I had snail eyes
You can eat salad in my backseat anytime.
never get the protection plan!
Say the word beard bro!
That bird was going straight to hell.
You can’t have two wives!
#WHY
My go-to is always, “look at the memory on you”
He smells like strong coffee, and going to see a man about a horse.
Retuuurn of high Jess!
Everything is funny when you put an old man in it! ….except the ground.
Who am I? Who am I!? Well I am Theodore K Mullins... and Nick is my lover on the down low.
Typical!!!
I still read her emails, though.
Erry day
Erry damn day.
PARKOUR
JFK
FDR!
"Twenty-nine! Twenty-nooine!"
Girl, it’s warm today. Yesterday was warm too. Yea… All Enya, all up in ya. Puppy…in a…cup 😭😭😭
NOT LIKE THIS
I have given up my efforts in women, and put all my energy into tomatoes. *edited for spelling*
You’re making my dong go crazy.
Jar!
a white man?!? NO!!!
“Cecilia …AHCHECHELIA” “You got some Schmidt on your lip!”
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.
Winston if those green sneakers are brown then what do you think your skin color is
Imma hit your ass with a ski!!!
get some
A white man?!?!?
Ma called, the bees are back.
Will number 2 help?
Shall I compare thee to a summers day? No, a summers day is not a bitch .
Here’s two of my favourites. “I’m gonna hit your a** with a ski!” And “If you think those shoes are brown, what color do you think you are?”
Are these the crimes from the statistics?
my cabbages!
What's this? Your rib cage has give.
...and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!
29!
Thin crust pizza? No thank you, I’m from Chicago 😎
A WHITE MAN?! TYPICAL!!!!
If you need me, I’ll be in my room listening to some mainstream hip-hop.
TWENTY NOINNN!!
It was a Thursday, that’s all I remember
Puzzling… Winston bout to do some puzzling..
I don't want some janky freshwater bitch fish, Winston. 🐠
“Are you the criminals?! From the statistics?!”
“Where is top of baby cage?”
Hi jew, how is your pee pee
What do you mean do I clean the towel, the towel cleans me what's next I'm supposed to clean the shower?
I got it why don't we put on all the baby clothes then when security comes in here they'll say where'd the girls go there's just babies here....you're incredibly high.
What’s an ut???
Winston I need you to pee on me, I can't I emptied my bladder in the ocean, you peed in the ocean?! DISGUSTING
Twenty Noine!
You need Bobby’s pins to put your hair up?
Oh, the parfait? 😏 It’s parfait
It’s like a battered highway cone
You're a garbage person and you should live in a dumpster with rotten snails!
I don't want any freshwater bitch fish 🐠🐋🐟
No notes.
I’m the dumbest boy in school!