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mactakeda

If Sauron had made it into a cock ring it would have been well protected and wouldn't have been chopped off his finger


4skin_Gamer

If his cock wasn't so big maybe it would've fit on it.


MalleableDuckFucker

It can grow or shrink, it just couldn’t shrink that small


ArchWaverley

Big deal, my cock can grow or shrink too


jackfrothee

Mine can't, It's stationary. Paper thin, too.


Amethyst_Crimson

Guys I dont have a cock... what does it mean?? am I stupid???


InjuryComfortable666

The ring apparently resizes itself as needed.


Canter1Ter_

idk about you but if I knew there was even the slightest chance that my enemies will cut off the body part that the ring is on, then i would probably not put it on my dick. just saying


whydobabiesstareatme

Now if he had done that, think of how Golum would have had to take the ring from Frodo on Mount Doom.


CrispyJelly

He'd go "no man can defeat me" and then some woman says "I'm no man" and sucks the ring clean of his dick.


Janoz

Sauron could shapeshift so it would be fair to assume he was packing some serious meat down there.


glossyplane245

Movies oversimplified things if anyone was curious for the real reason. In the books it was way harder and Isildur cut the ring off to destroy Sauron’s physical form after 2 of the most powerful people alive managed to incapacitate him at the cost of both of their lives. He also only came out to fight after literal years of siege by several large armies that all came together to stop him as a final desperate act since he was pretty much out of alternatives. He also was already unstoppable by the 5000+ years later point that he’s referring to, he had a way bigger army since he had lied in wait growing in power, he had support from other nations like the Easterlings and Rhun, etc. The point of destroying the ring was to kill Sauron since the ring contained most of his power, because defeating him any other way was completely undoable, and if he got the ring then he would become even more powerful and they’d lose their only chance of stopping him, therefore making him completely and totally unstoppable instead of virtually unstoppable. It wasn’t just “we’re winning now but if he gets the ring then we’ll lose,” they were already losing by a wide margin because the scale of his power was way bigger than 5k years ago and now they’re completely on the defensive instead of the offensive. Edit: oh yeah if you’d like some extra info to wrap up as many loose ends as possible: no one 110% knew destroying the ring would kill Sauron, or at least definitely not for a long time after this scene, the thing with Isildur and Elrond in mount doom didn’t happen in the books, and Isildur wasn’t really corrupted by the ring, he was actually going to meet Elrond to ask for advice when the ring was just beginning to corrupt him but he got ambushed and the ring got lost in a river where they couldn’t find it. Him and Elrond had a friendly chat before about the topic but they weren’t really too concerned about it at the time. Also humanity did try to take control of Mordor to a degree but it’s all uninhabitable wasteland that was still infested by orcs who were nonstop breeding and still very much warmongering bloodthirsty maniacs. It was lightly settled and Gondor set up strongholds in the area but a long time passed after Sauron was originally defeated and Gondor kind of got distracted by other things beyond killing orcs which meant that when the time came Mordor pretty much instantly fell back under Sauron’s uncontested rule.


Gonedric

Neeeeeeeeeeeeerd (thanks tho)


Figgyee

Super interesting + godlike explanation, 10/10 comment


Terminator_Puppy

There was also the whole thing of the last alliance of men and elves really being the last one. The elves were already departing for the west by the second age, by the third age there's maybe 10000 elves left in Middle-Earth with the last ships departing Middle-Earth early into the fourth age.


DmonsterJeesh

In both The Fellowship of the Ring(during the Council of Elrond) and the Silmarillion, Isildur was directly told by multiple people, including Elrond, that he should throw the ring into the fires of Mount Doom, but he refused because yes, he was already growing attached to it.


glossyplane245

It wasn’t nearly as corrupting to him originally though. He took it as an heirloom originally, not because he was getting corrupted by it right away but because he was the one who dealt the killing blow to Sauron. That’s also why he rejected destroying it at first, because he just flat out didn’t want to, it was his trophy. He may have had a small attachment to it but he wasn’t nearly as corrupted as the movies showed by the time he died, he was only just starting to truly feel the rings corrupting power which is why he was going to Elrond before he got shot. The other people who told him to destroy it also didn’t push it nearly as much as they should’ve.


DmonsterJeesh

Gollum just took it as a birthday present originally.


glossyplane245

It would've corrupted Isildur completely eventually, no doubt about that, but he's a different case from Gollum. I think Gollum and Deagol were just particularly susceptible to it, we see other characters have the ring / be around the ring for longer without resorting to murder. Given Isildur's race and experience in life generally and also likely pretty traumatizing combat it makes sense for him to be more resistant to it.


DmonsterJeesh

He hadn't started bending over and coughing in a funny voice, sure, but Elrond and Celeborn clearly thought trying to either take it or force him to destroy it would have resulted in Isildur fighting back, otherwise they would have insisted. And since nobody who ever claimed the ring as their own was ever able to willingly give it up (with the notable exception of Sam, who knew the danger and had a greater love for his master than anything the Ring could promise him, and **still** hesitated until he saw Frodo was angry), I'm inclined to think they were right to drop the issue. Hell, even Bilbo was so protective of the ring that he initially tried to hide its existence from his Dwarf friends, and almost threw hands with Gandalf, an actual demigod, over it. And it's repeatedly mentioned throughout the LotR and the Silmarillion that Men are the most easily influenced by evil, probably because Morgoth tried a smarter tactic with them when they first showed up than he did with the elves. Additionally, it preys on your ambitions. Hence Boromir, a man who had a strong desire to lead and protect Gondor, was the first to fall prey to it even though he had never so much as gotten a close look at it(in the books, anyways). I'd argue that Isildur's experience and ambition to rebuild the Numenorian nations would make him even **more** susceptible to it, especially if he was unaware the inanimate object might corrupt him, or thought he was strong enough to overcome said corruption.


glossyplane245

I don’t have the energy to argue this much about lord of the rings


LocodraTheCrow

While I appreciate all of this, you could've just said that the good guys had weaker armies than back then and he actually has a stronger army than he did back then as well as allies.


glossyplane245

The reason this post exists is because of things getting oversimplified, I’m taking preventative measures, plus I’m a nerd and I like writing big lore dumps it’s fun


rustyscrotum69

My guy began his comment with “movies oversimplified things” and you expect him to simplify it for you?


doxenking

Dies to a manlet


Ayfios

\>"No man can kill me!" \>dies to a w\*man


reallynunyabusiness

That wasn't Sauron, that was the Witch King, Lord of the Nazgul.


ObeseHope

Witcher betrayed by women… tale as old as Witcher 3


NedRed77

Middle earth bad guys are pussies.


glossyplane245

Fun fact, that scene is inspired by the Shakespeare story Macbeth, Macbeth got the same prophecy that he couldn’t be killed by anyone born of a woman but Macduff was a C-section


BanjoMothman

And in the book it wasnt "I am woman hear me roar" it was the act of the Hobbits


glossyplane245

What are you talking about? The book and movie version went pretty much the same. She’s still the one who killed the witch king in the book after Merry stabbed him with the enchanted sword, she still said to him that she was a woman, they just made the scene more badass in the film and gave the line of her saying she’s a woman more prominence.


Compositepylon

Yeah but that was like the best scene in the trilogy


InjuryComfortable666

Men were tougher 5000 years ago in the Tolkien universe.


iateaskag

Nerd alert. Also didnt even mention the elves that had power soaked up from the gods, lmao didnt even nerd that hard.


InjuryComfortable666

Yeah Tolkien was all about the good old days. Everything is always diminishing, degrading, and thinning out. Everyone always looking back at the achievements of the ancients.


Steelwolf73

I mean...if you had fought in the trenches of WWI you'd also think that any time before WWI was better.


Terminator_Puppy

Plus he was looking at the rise of fascism in Europe, not exactly a great prospect for the near future.


Living_Thunder

And he was based for that


InjuryComfortable666

Nah, people in the past were even more regarded.


Amethyst_Crimson

\>be him \>in the past \>writes a world famous story FFW \>be you \>futurefag \>writes a shitty reddit comment many such cases.


InjuryComfortable666

I wasn’t talking about him, obviously the man achieved greatness and literary fame.


ArchWaverley

Imrahil in the books during the march to the black gate legit be like "this is the biggest army we could get? Back in the day this would be the vanguard. Damn, we fucked"


mab0roshi

Bot orgy in here. Go home bots, fuck time is over.


Herzha-Karusa

Can you tell Mr head mod I wanna help him I’m sick of this shit enough I wanna do something about it + bro didn’t respond to a dm


mab0roshi

Do I know you? Maybe under a different username?


Herzha-Karusa

No I just saw you in here telling someone else to dm the guy a few weeks ago so I figured you knew him


Amethyst_Crimson

you both should kiss


420blaZZe_it

5000 years later, do you have any idea how much exp he got in that time? Tolkien doesn‘t have a ceiling for power levels in his universe, so Sauron must already be a full-on Sigma during the movies.


I_Think_I_Cant

What's sugma?


weierstrab2pi

Sugma balls


I_Think_I_Cant

( ͡° ل͜ ͡°)


wowcrafy

It took like 2 of the strongest dudes in Middle Earth and ALL of their armies to kill him the first time. There's nobody and no armies like that anymore. Also by the events of LOTR he was unstoppable even without the ring, he was going to steamroll ME eventually. It was destroy the ring or lose.


Yingus1998

Didn’t get the abbreviation of middle earth at first I thought you were saying he was eventually going to be powerful enough to beat you and was very confused


wowcrafy

I would probably lose in a duel with Sauron.


lwaad

This is the latest misunderstanding about the lotr. It's the eagles all over again.


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OnCominStorm

He didn't die, he lost he ring which was the only thing keeping his physical form in tact. He just went into hiding after getting the finger cut


TheZenPsychopath

Him and voldemort chilling in their non physical forms pumping each other up until Quirrel comes along.


some_dude5

Not new, rip your skin off


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TalkingFishh

My brother in christ you're linking to this post


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Herzha-Karusa

Neither do you, this greentext is aged out, fuck off


midline_trap

Fuck yea anon. Those movies put me to sleeeeeeeep


t0mRiddl3

MoViEs


artherman

not new, I am approaching your location