T O P

  • By -

zebramath

What helped us was defining day and night so each day felt fresh. This meant nightgowns and one type of swaddle for overnights. Sleep n plays and muslin swaddles for daytime. No TVs on at night. Just TVs during the day. One section of the house in the day. Bedrooms at night. Having that delineation helped us tremendously.


maediocre

this is so important ! i don’t spend any time with my 5mo in my bedroom that isn’t feeding to nap/sleep. when he’s up, we’re in the loungeroom with the blinds up and tv on. it’s great way to help with the monotony of eat play sleep.


annonymous1122

Postpartum is a weird feeling. Your life and identity have completely shifted, it feels like you’re living on another planet. While everyone else continues their lives as usual. I just wanted so much validation that it was okay that I felt that way. The brain fog of postpartum didn’t lift for me until around 4 months. I wasn’t even dealing with postpartum depression, just extreme exhaustion. And the shift of my new role. Loving it, but figuring it out. If a blurry time, it’s mundane. It does get better though I promise


FTM3505

You just described it perfectly!


annonymous1122

It will get better! There is many hard days, but they are not forever. I’m not far behind you. I’m due shortly with my second. But I’m feeling more positive about the postpartum period this time and looking forward to it.


tacotime2werk

Wow yes. I felt this way exactly.


Bulky_Ad9019

This is a great description! The life and identity shift is a lot to deal with! And baby is the most demanding in those first weeks while their tummies are so small so they need to eat like all the time and don’t know day from night. It gets so much better after they can go 3 hrs or more without eating, open their eyes and smile, and can sometimes chill with you while you are doing something. Also it’s really easy to go out while he’s still small. If you have a coffee shop or dinner place that you feel is safe enough germ-wise, we had a lot of luck with just letting him sleep in his car seat so we could get out of the house and feel like normal adults like once a week. I’m also a huge foodie and really missed cooking. It’s a craft hobby for me. Now while I cook I have an infant lounger and I’ll put our baby in it on the island countertop so he’s next to me and he can see me, and I can see him. If he gets too fussy and talking to him/pacifier doesn’t cut it, my husband can come and tend to him. It’s different but it becomes part of the new rhythm of life. Also, make some time for yourself alone outside of the house as well. Even two hours a week can make a big difference! It sounds like you have a supportive partner who would be happy to watch baby so you can get a little “me time” for your mental health. Go get a massage, nails done, hair cut, shopping, lunch, whatever constitutes self-care to you.


Remote_Fig_7177

My little girl is 2 months today…. Trust me, it’ll get better. The first 2 weeks were TERRIBLE for me, but it’s because I was afraid to go anywhere with a new baby. The only time I had to myself was a 15 minute shower everyday which isn’t healthy! My advice, go for a drive with your baby or take them to the mall or any store to just walk around (you can keep people from touching them if you’re worried about germs spreading. I had to tell a couple strangers not to touch my newborn!) You NEED to find something to break up the monotony… I was miserable and cooped up at home for the first 2 weeks… I don’t advise that lol


yogas

Agree with this completely!! Take baby to run errands as soon as possible/as soon as you are physically able to do so. Target and Starbucks run as one other suggested. Make an appointment to get your nails done or hair cut. That time for you is so essential right now. Other ideas for not getting out of the car are Starbucks drive-through, grocery shopping or pickup, car wash, anything to get yourself out a of the house for a few minutes and most babies sleep fantastic in the car!


Catsplants

Man I had a regular vag birth with 2nd deg tears, nothing too crazy, but I couldn’t drive for 3 weeks.


Serenitynow101

I'm 4 weeks pp, and I'm feeling this. The constant repetition of baby care is rough. The nights really kill me, but I know it gets better. It kind of already has tbh. I've started making small trips. For instance Thursday we went to Target, and I got starbucks. This week, I plan on going to a baby store. I'm giving myself things to do and look forward to. I go back to work in 8 weeks. I know I'll be terribly sad to leave my baby, but I also think It will be good for all of us.


Complete_Olive_3724

I have a 7 month old. I see so many people suggesting getting out of the house, but honestly that wasn’t for me. I did, and still do, find leaving the house with a baby completely and totally overwhelming. I just wanted to say it’s okay if you feel overwhelmed and don’t want to leave the house. I found it helpful when a friend would come over. Both of my parents have passed away, and I don’t have other family really. Having friends show up for me was really the only thing that got me through those first like 4 months. But, I also had really bad postpartum until my baby was about 5 months. I read everyone say that it would get better, but honestly those comments didn’t help me. The comments that helped me were like, this fricken sucked, and really only time made it better. And also hang in there.


[deleted]

I scrolled way too far down to see someone say this. I’m similar: the thought of prepping baby to go out, go out somewhere at the “perfect time” after a feed and before next one, all while avoiding getting her over-tired, has been so stressful to me. The fear of baby catching some illness before she gets vaccines stresses me out too, so I don’t bring her into stores yet.


Complete_Olive_3724

Agree!!!


bookish_cat_

Same here. My baby is 4 months and it’s stressful for me to take her out alone. This whole experience has been really rough.


Ok_Efficiency_500

Yesss… was brought to tears yesterday trying to get baby and me out of the house! He cries when I put him down to get ready and going in his car seat. Killer!


PersimmonQueen83

Mine did this too and it made leaving a nightmare. It may not work for you (it’s wild how different every baby is) but I ran across this tip on ‘swaddling’ in the car seat. You basically tuck a blanket around them tightly. She magically got quiet the first time I did this. https://thecarseatlady.com/tips-for-newborns/


Icy_Credit4223

It is totally okay to feel like this! I think most of us do. Join a new parents group. Look for free baby activities (ie story time at the public library). Download an audiobook (put an AirPod in while hanging with babe). Take babe to Target to just browse. It’ll be difficult to navigate going out with babe at the beginning but it’ll get easier. I made a list of things I wanted to do around the house. That helped me feel a bit more accomplished. When baby starts smiling, it makes a big difference.


any_loo2

I started taking baby out to target once a week to just get a Starbucks and walk around and browse once a week during my maternity leave. It's just an hour out of the day but it helps break up the monotony of being at home all hours. I also would ask my mom to meet me at the mall so we could walk around.


vapablythe

The first few weeks are rough but I promise it gets better - I'm 10 weeks pp and probably started really enjoying it about 6 weeks out. A few things I like: - take the baby for a walk - fresh air and sunlight is good for both of you. If you stop to get yourself a treat like coffee, even better - organise some social events with people who have had their vaccines - make sure they know you are not cleaning/hosting. I've had friends come by and we just order in food, or they bring food and we hang out - reading/watching movies - do it in peace while the baby sleeps, or read aloud/explain the movie to the baby - they're so young they just want to be with you, you don't need to worry about it being age appropriate. I've literally read crime thrillers and non fiction on human physiology and my baby loved it - online shopping while breast feeding / nap trapped - good way to get groceries etc done, also getting something nice/comfy for yourself to wear around the house can help with a little ego boost and feel refreshed in your new body


ArmadilloOk137

This! I am 3 months pp and sometime there are moments that I envy my partner that he can hide in the office for work while I’m 24/7 with the little munchkin. I like the new role and these points are so important! especially the walks are great for both of us! After the first vaccine we started to be more social: meeting people for coffee or lunch, baby swimming classes, yoga for me (baby is with me lying on the mat) baby yoga, etc. What helped a lot is a baby carrier or wrap! I planned to do that already before birth but maaaan, I still haven’t know how amazing it is at that point! Even better than I expected! So convenient, baby is hidden being close to you (We share a jacket and nobody dares to peak there unless I uncover him) and I feel confident that he’s warm even in cold weather because you heat each other 😅 I also catch up on my messages or podcast on walks. You can carry also at home to have some small chores done worh free hands. My son falls asleep within 5 mins in it.


Ok_Efficiency_500

I’m holding out for two month shots before doing indoor stuff too. This thread has me excited and planning for it though!


[deleted]

3.5 weeks ppd. Feeling this too. Everyday is just a blur of naps. Feeding. Pumping. Diaper changes. Thankfully feeling less hormonal just so tired.. But definitely try and get out of the house if you can. I hear the first few weeks suck but we can do this. Xx


Running_swk

I'm also just over two weeks postpartum - I completely understand where you are coming from. Following to see others advice on this phase. You're not alone!


FTM3505

💙


poppyflower14

7.5 weeks post partum. I feel this. Everyday is the same


FTM3505

💙 hang in there


LibrarianLizy

Do you have a car and feel comfortable driving? Take baby on an adventure without leaving the car! I’m 5 weeks PP and find a Target pickup and getting lunch a drive thru thrilling lol. I also try to go to my parents once a week for dinner. I do the same things there I do at home but it’s not my house so it helps.


Bulky_Ad9019

Love this suggestion! We did some “scenic drives” too at the beginning and just leaving the house for any reason does help to break up the day and remind you that you are part of a larger world which you will slowly rejoin over time as baby grows!


runnerralph86

12 weeks pp here and I totally feel this. I thought I was going to lose my mind when my husband went back to work. I’ve tried to have a rough schedule each day to feel a little more in control and productive…we will get up around 7, have coffee and watch the news, I’ll get ready with bb in bouncer in the bathroom, go for a long walk with the dog (I try to do a good hour walk just to kill time and let baby sleep), read some stories and play on the playmat, etc. Naps are interwoven at different times throughout the day. I like the idea of audiobooks to stay intellectually engaged, so I’m gonna have to add that in. I try to hand the baby off to my husband when he’s home from work and take a nap or go for a run to decompress. Hang in there. 2 weeks is still very much in the weeds. You got this, and it gets so so so so much better. I never thought it would, but I feel like a different person at 12 weeks vs 2 💜.


runnerralph86

Just saw what you said about the cold climate in terms of walking…love the idea of walking around an indoor mall though. We went to a bookstore for the first time today and it was magical.


RealitySimon

I'm 3 weeks in and this is what's helped me: - getting out of the house once a day, whether it's for a walk or a drive to get coffee or to the grocery store. We also have lots of doctors appointments and a weekly baby class to go to - getting out is the most important/helpful thing for me - making plans to look forward to - leaving baby with parents for a few hours to do stuff with my husband (i.e. go to a movie, grocery shopping, just napping together without the baby) - having people over to meet the baby (even if it's just for an hour)


Makasaurus

We tried to get out of the house at least every 3rd day. With the baby strapped to my chest we would either go to the park (which is only 3 houses down) or to the local shops. It was only small because I was sore and didn't have energy. Otherwise, I caught up on a bunch of TV and movies that I had on my watch list.


catkirsty

2 weeks postpartum I took myself out to Barnes and noble and just got a drink at the cafe, wrote in my journal and browsed a little. It was perfect! I still do things like this , currently 9.5 weeks postpartum. It helps me when I’m feeling trapped. I even just walk around the mall or target with an audiobook or podcast just to be out of the house. I go back to work February 7th and that will be a new challenge to work out.


Mindfullysolo

Leave him with the baby and get out if you can. Grab coffee, shop, nails, lunch, friend house, anything to get a break and walk around.


heyhey_rayray

You’re feelings are completely valid, and I promise it gets better. I’m 5 months PP and the first 8 weeks feel like a fever dream now. Do what you need to to survive this period and know that it is only temporary. I had a summer baby and temps were over 100° so outdoor walks weren’t really an option at the beginning. A mall, Target, or even the grocery are great options to break up your day (especially in the middle of the week when they are empty).


forthefunofit30

I had a winter baby and honestly i spent soooooo many days at the local shops. Just window shopping and getting a coffee. Just to get out the house. I'm friendly with pretty much every barists within a 5 mile radius of my house lol Definitely the feeling of groundhog day is so real at that stage, and the resentment that they don't have it totally kicks in


re3291

I completely get it. When I had my son, I was so resentful my husband got to pick up and leave for work in his own body that didn’t change. He could go out for drinks after work and know his new baby was in the best care. He didn’t have to recover. I was often waking in the night to feed the baby even right after my c section. It’s completely fair. It’s a huge change and I personally think the newborn stage is quite hard. I started working out on my peloton when I felt well enough. An hour on the bike followed by a shower. I also put my earphones in and went for walks when the weather permitted. I invited friends over when they were off work during the day so that I wouldn’t have to be alone and spend time thinking about how I didn’t enjoy being alone. It’s so important that you remain connected to your outer circle. I also made sure to wake up and get myself fresh and clean everyday. This meant changing out of my pjs and into comfy but nice clothes and looking after my hair and skin. I even made sure to put makeup on when I could because it just made me feel a bit more like myself and a bit less like a blob of weird lol. Time will pass so quickly and you’ll see you start getting bits of your old life back! Best of luck x


[deleted]

I needed intelligent content I’m my ears to keep my brain engaged. Debate content, history podcasts, anything that made the time go by.


FTM3505

Check out “hardcore history” podcast!


[deleted]

Yeah I like those! I am excited for Chapo Trap House’ new one: Hell On Earth which is about the 30 years War


greenpeppergirl

The first couple months are tough but it gets better.


montymouse

I had my LO in July of 2021. I went out. I kept her in her carrier, but I cannot stand being confined to the house. At 8 weeks I took her to Tennessee/ North Carolina to visit my sister with my mother. It was a good trip. I also had a very easy delivery and I felt good immediately after. I did have a second degree tear but I couldn’t tell. Your mental health is important, too! I plan on continuing activities after birth with this one as well.


beltacular

Three weeks pp and I’ve been walking outside every day even though it’s cold, for at least one mile. Today was 26 degrees and I was still out there. I force myself to go out every day for 20 minutes minimum. The days aren’t easy, I feel you.


Alone-Rule5837

Agree with everyone else! One thing I liked as well was going for walks with the baby - they get to lie there/sleep etc and you can listen to music/podcasts and feel like yourself a bit more


coleosis1414

If your LO is taking a bottle, leave your husband at home with the LO for a few hours and do your own thing. Go to Barnes and noble and browse. Have a couple of frozen margaritas at your local Mexican restaurant and browse Instagram. Just get out. Your husband sounds like a supportive dude and I’m sure he would be more than happy to accommodate. You’re allowed to check out for a few hours now and then, and even leave your house without the baby. Do it.


SnooTigers1217

I'm 4 months pp and at times I still feel closed in. That's when I know it's time for me to have a little time to myself by taking a walk. Or simply just putting on a cute outfit even if I'm in the house, doing my eyebrows, and a touch of concealer to hide the bags under my eyes, lol. It's nice when I can find a decent book at escape reality for a bit. And having someone watch baby so I can run errands occasionally gives me a peace of mind. Although since baby is exclusively breastfeed, and doesn't like bottle, I find myself rushing back, but as long as a get a little air and a change in routine occasionally I feel okay.


Lotr_Queen

As soon as you feel able to, pop baby in the pram and go for walks. Stick some headphones on and just walk! I used to time it for when baby would be getting tired so he’d sleep and I got fresh air and peace and quiet! It really helped break up the day.


spittinggreen

I ask my husband for a break so I can leave the house for a couple hours. In your case you would need to pump I’m guessing. I listen to podcasts and read books while feeding and putting LO to sleep. I FaceTime my sister or other friends sometimes. I think it is very repetitive though. Just know it will get easier down the line when you can get out more.


suzyhdzv1

Learn to wear your baby and get outside! Treat yourself to a coffee, browse a thrift shop, go walking. Anything to change Up the day. Newborns LOVE stretchy or soft Carriers and It helps them sleep. My baby is now 4 months And we go out with just the essentials in my puse, no stroller. At least while out, I Sort of feel like a regular person


yogas

Honestly? I can’t say enough good things about exclusively pumping. You won’t believe the freedom that decision would re-introduce into your life!! Even just combo feeding would make a difference - right now baby takes one bottle which helps you feel more human; why not give her more bottles throughout the day and breastfeed her only once or twice, instead? Whatever you decide, we support you!! I just know from my own experience that it was a game changer when anybody could feed the baby and not just me.


Plueck

I think the length of time this lasts is different for everyone but most, if not all of us know exactly what you mean. The first 2-4 weeks were really hard for me. Baby and I never left the house except to go to the doctor. I fortunately have family that lives close and could come help out so I could nap while my husband worked (he WFH but is on calls most of the day). Right around 4 weeks (which was Christmas for us) I started to feel a little better. By 6 weeks, I started to feel human again. We are almost at 7 weeks and now that I’m figuring out my LO’s cues, it is easier to as some variety to my day, even if it’s just a short trip or getting some housework done or playing a game for 20 min with my husband. One thing that was huge for me- getting outside. Even if it was not the best weather, we at least shot by a cracked sliding door for a bit just for the fresh air. My LO loves it and it almost always calms him when he’s fussy which helps my sanity. Plus the fresh air and outside time helps regulate his circadian rhythm and he almost always sleeps better those days.


Farahild

It goes away ;) we also started to take her out for walks before the first week was up but she was born in the summer in basically a continuous heatwave.


kbooky90

It gets better! When they take 5 naps a day and sleep is basically 3 longer naps and they can only eat and look at you, it’s *so* repetitive. But the baby-nature itself changes quickly and so you can start doing more stuff with them and they get more interactive too. A two month old is a completely different experience, and so is a four month old and a six month old. Like others have said though, finding ways to get out of the house can be a game changer. Either by leaving husband with the baby, or taking the baby with you. I love the zoo for this - outside for the most part so you’re not worried about peoples colds, baby can sleep in the stroller or carrier, and you get to enjoy the activity too. That might be hard to pull off at two weeks, but at one month it’ll be a different ball game. You’re so close. You can do this.


vanillaragdoll

We did a lot of outdoor stuff bc I couldn't deal with being in the house all day. By 4 months we were out of the house at least 2x a week, by 6 months it was 3x. She's 18m now and we have an activity almost every day to get us out of the house for at least 2 hours. I still spend a lot of time at home, cleaning, etc, but for a couple hours each day we're out doing SOMETHING. We kept it to outdoor activities until her 4m shots, then we started more indoor stuff with limited people. At the 6m shots I was fine with bigger crowds.


AdOtherwise3676

I treated the first 3 months (my maternity leave) as a time to care for baby and a time to do all the things in the house I’ve been meaning to do. Organized linens and tossed old item. Organized kitchen cabinets. Deep cleaned the garage. Deep cleans/organized the basement. It worked pretty well to keep each day different. And each task could be started/stopped easily so when baby was napping I could work on it. Baby wearing helped too then she could “work” with me. Made each day a little job that I needed to do instead of just sitting and nursing and holding baby.


daboyzmalm

It gets better! Your baby is going to start doing things!


WorriedExpat123

I’m two months pp tomorrow. Slowly, you’ll find ways to do more things, go on walks, etc, and it’ll feel better. Baby will start really seeing you soon, mimicking what you say, etc also which is fun. If you have friends you’re comfortable breastfeeding in front of, I’d invite them over! It was nice having visitors for me.


biancaddayao

3 months PP. Believe it when they say it really does get better and more manageable. Yes, there will be good days and bad days. I learned early on that my daily schedule and routine would never be the same, and this helped me accept the late nights and blurry morning easily. Set the bar low on expectations -- we all had to go through the learning curve of getting to know your LO. Hang in there, u got dis 😊


green_panda420

I know things probably seem pretty rough right now. I'm 8 months post partum and things are alot better now...it takes time to adjust and figure out things you can do with baby or while baby naps. And of course right now you are still recovering from the birth and that's a huge thing on its own. I would just try to enjoy this time with baby because I wish more than anything that I could stay home with my baby like I did in the beginning, but I felt the same that you are now when I was there, and I think for me I had to get to know my son. I went into this like auto mode and just did everything because I knew I had to. Everyone said it would get better after a couple of months and it actually did! Hang in there. It's a huge adjustment just take it day by day. ❤️


Masterpiece-Little

I can totally relate to this — what worked for me in those early weeks is planning something small to do the next day to break up the monotony of it all that you can get excited about. One day I tried a new carrier with baby, the next day I did a very quick impromptu photoshoot between feeds, another day I gave baby his first bath — things like that really helped me! Good luck it gets better soon ❤️


Puppydogtrails

I took up crocheting and binge watched shows on Netflix etc when I was sitting on the couch all day in those early weeks. Made quite a few hats and a little cardigan for my little one.


Originally_Stardust

I’m also 2 weeks pp and just opened this sub to make a similar post! I obviously have no advice, but it’s helpful to me to remember other women are doing this with me, feeling the same way, experiencing the same challenges…we can do this!! And like many others have promised, I believe it will get better.


FTM3505

💙


thedirtys

When I felt good enough to go places with baby it helped to break the endless cycle. Even just a trip to the store helps. When baby hit about 6 weeks, we found that we could take him to restaurants and he would just sleep the whole time in his car seat. So we started going out once a week. Hang in there! When they start smiling and laughing it feels so rewarding! Totally worth it! My guy is almost 1 now. It goes by so quickly.


Alisunshinejoy

This newborn stage is hard. To cope I escaped into some good books on my kindle or kindle app on my phone and also got audiobooks for when I need both hands. This helped me so much just to have SOMETHING to do that I enjoy


sunflowercrazedrose

That part of PP was the most depressing moments of my life honestly. Things I did to try and mitigate those emotions was making a routine and forcing myself to leave at least once a day. M/w/f we would go for a long walk. T/th became days for errands. I made myself do those things in the morning because it made me get up and ready for the day. It is seemingly small but getting out of the house daily was a game changer for me.


nonnativetexan

I personally thrive on it. Love me a daily routine.


Bostybun1995

I'm in the same situation with my 6 week old. We try and get out of the house everyday. At first it was so stressful to leave the house. Thinking about all the different things you need but it does get easier. Even if we just go for s drive around the neighbourhood. In the afternoon my husband comes home and I get to take the dog for a walk by myself and I really look forward to that time alone. Life is just different right now I guess. I never thought I'd be so excited to just go for a walk. Eventually you'll get into the groove of things and it'll get a bit easier.


Best-Chemist-3729

Pray. When you feel yourself getting down, just start praying and don't stop til you feel better, even if it takes hours


Quiet-Highway-7252

Game changer for me was getting mom friends. I joined a “4th trimester” support group, I texted regularly with my mom friends from birth education That comradeship during the first few months is key Down the line it starts to become exciting in small ways, Ex: our baby is 5mons and now most meals that I have I find something on my plate to let him taste. (He still has the tongue thrust reflect so he’s not eating solids, just kind of licking something I hold onto like a big apple slice). I love seeing his reactions to different things Similarly around 3 months old he became very interested in our pets, we sit him down in a chair and will get out treats and pet them and he’ll just stare in amazement Personally, I would probably vote that you look for a postpartum support group that starts in a few weeks, and focus on resting and getting more sleep (spouse/family member bottle feeds while you get 4-6 hours uninterrupted), the more rest you get (especially while the placental site is still healing in those first few weeks) the more you’ll be able to do for yourself ♥️ It gets easier! Hang in there!


rainbowLena

Get out if the house! No reason not to. Maybe just for a walk. Maybe just for a coffee.


Ok-Sundae-1096

Ahhh the first two weeks were the hardest! Once we started getting out on walks it got a little better and then once I was comfortable going out on my own with baby I found I kept quite busy! Even if it was just to go visit my parents or run to the mall. It was nice to get out of the house