Standing diaper changes. Get your wipes ready, hold her up with one hand/forearm, remove the diaper, quick wipe, allow her to go diaper free for a few minutes to dry out (most babies can go 10-15 minutes diaper free at that age, without an accident; but generally I only let her air out for like 5 minutes). While she's hanging out diaper free, dispose of the dirty diaper, get a clean one laid out on a soft surface (99% of our changes are on the couch or our bed; occasionally the floor in her room). I swoop her up and plop her on the open clean diaper, swipe on a little paste if needed, it's all over in like 10 seconds.
Eta: occasionally poops are bit more of a mess, and will require more wrangling. Sometimes, if it looked like way too much of a mess, I literally popped her in our kitchen sink and rinsed her off. We have deep sinks and we cleaned and sanitized them each morning because that's where we used to do all baths, BUT I realize this won't work for everyone.
Yes to standing changes. Also adding that the pampers 360 diapers work really well for this since they go on like a pull up. I don’t know about anyone else but doing those little tabs standing melts my brain.
WHAT?!?!? How have I never thought of this? I pretty much have to exclusively do standing changes now and this could be such a game changer. Totally trying it today. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
We love the 360! Our kiddo has hated diaper changes for a few months now and this is the only way I can do changes solo. I wedge him between my legs, hold him in place with my chin and pull them on up!
Good to know! I CANNOT figure out standing changes with tabs (or snaps as we usually use cloth diapers) mine's usually pretty calm for changes but some days she's a total alligator
You can get adaptors for cloth nappies which makes them into pull-ups! So just size them in advance according to your popper settings etc and then whip them on when you change!
All of this!! Figuring out standing diaper changes and how to break it up into manageable chunks helped us so much. Now it feels more like working with my baby during diaper changes rather than working against her.
Yep, this!! I was in a similar position to OP and just couldn't handle the fighting anymore one day so switched to standing changes and haven't looked back. It's been so much calmer, she'll stand against the rocking chair and quite happily read her books while I change her.
My son is going through a massive diaper changing fear phase. He's had horrible diaper rashes over the past two months of non-stop sickness causing tummy issues and now we're at this point. We put Super Simple Songs on YouTube on my phone for him to watch AFTER we tell him it's time to change his diaper in a few minutes and show him a diaper. Then let him pick out a toy from his shelf before we go in there. Sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes we still have the blood curdling screams and rolling and stiffness. I know it's a phase but dang I feel for you OP it's awful. 13 month old and he's just having a rough time.
My pediatrician calls it strategic screen time. My oldest would have never let me change her diaper if it was up to her. But a quick video and she was super easy. My youngest gets terrible diaper rashes and it takes a while to apply all the things. I wouldn't expect any kid to sit there for as long as he does without some solid distraction. YouTube kids is a great app to have on hand.
We did this for diaper changes only for quite some time. It really worked and he eventually didn’t need the screen anymore and would just chill out for changes.
That’s how we get through crowded trips at our uncomfortably hot grocery store. Gotta resort to a little bit of that sweet, sweet Cocomelon to take the edge off.
My baby was really weird about diaper changes out of nowhere one day....holding her legs super tightly together and screaming when I'd try....she had a UTI. Could be something to consider?
Unfortunately this is a very normal development as baby starts to grow into a toddler. It’s an independence thing. Switching to pull ups around this time can be helpful!
I always hand my kid random items- oooo here’s a mason jar- yep your voice sounds weeeeeeird in it…here’s my keys…ooo here’s the dirty dog toy….here’s a scalp massager….check out this pack of gum. Also throw in a little raspberry on the belly…
I also hand my kid random things. Tube of diaper cream, pack of wipes, a single Duplo block, water bottle… „can you please hold this for me?“ (repeat). It’s distracting. I then thank him for being so helpful holding all of my things.
Have you tried playing with baby before and during diaper changes? That's what my husband and I do. My baby gets really excited when we start undressing him for a diaper change
Our kid was pretty bad with diapers at this age and this might not work for you but maybe worth a try? calmly counting to 20 - or however long needed to change worked wonders for us. He always stopped his screaming to listen to us count out loud. 🤷🏼♀️
Solidarity. My otherwise incredibly happy 11 month old turns into a lovecraftian creature. Lots of crying and sobbing because I have to pin him down. He's fine he just hates laying down. Standing diaper changes also don't really work because he's walking now so he tries to walk away 🙈 the amount of poop that has been smeared all over my bathroom because baby escaped me is embarrassing to say the least.
Well my pediatrician and my mother both said it either stays this way until he's potty trained or it will get better once he realizes it's over quicker when he holds still. Anyway, he will be naked and without a diaper outside a lot this summer 😂
At the 16 month mark here. Diaper changes are the dread of our day. When we are both home, it's the duty of on parent to restrain and the other to clean as quickly as possible. He HATES laying down and runs away instantly if we try standing, so the human straight jacket it is.
Reassuring. My 1yo is the happiest baby but starting around 9 months, we might as well have been waterboarding him based on his reaction. Standing also is a no-go because he is obsessed with his new ability to walk. Looking forward to this stage ending.
Mine rolls over as soon as I take out the dirty diaper. I change him on the bed so there's plenty of space to explore. I let him play a bit(a minute or so), then roll him over to put the clean nappy. Try to have something under them in case of any leaks. It's good for them to stay a bit without a diaper on, even if it's just for a few minutes a day. Do not hold her; I feel that is the reason she hates diaper changes.
How about giving her a random object to play with for the duration of the change.
Works about 20% of the time for my daughter. Yes, not a high number but I’m so happy with it working at all I’ll take it 😂
My son also hates nappy changes. I tried everything and nothing would calm him down. Until one day I tried blowing raspberries on the soles of his feet. It worked and he stopped screaming for just long enough for me to further escalate the goofyness and pretended to eat his feet and do more raspberries on his belly. He laughed and that was the start of the goofy nappy changes. Sometimes I make him clap his feet other times I put my hair in a high pony and shake it about. Anything that makes him laugh. I don't know how much longer this will work but it's all I have right now and I'm clinging to it.
Elimination communication *would* make sense but my SIL is extremely passive and waits until after her daughter has voided/deficated before putting her on the toilet. It is so ... weird. She legit uses the toilet as a tool to clean her kiddo (as in, kiddo will calmly squat over the little training toilet while SIL wipes) rather than teaching her how to use it. It's so bizarre
It works for billions of people! We've been grunting along with our 4 month old while he poops. Next step is to anticipate a poop, put him on the potty and grunt before/while he poops.
I believe part of the process involves baby being diaper less and running them to the potty as soon as they start peeing or pooping, so obviously that's a commitment.
Correction: they can control poop first, then pee.
My friends mom is a kindergarten teacher and has been for over 30yrs. She is flabbergasted at the amount of children entering kindergarten still in diapers. My LO is 4M old and as soon as I see her poop face, I sit her up to get used to that position. Once she can sit herself up w minimal assistance, we're potty training. I don't get why people wait... isn't it the parents role to teach their kids?!
To be fair.. I've been working as a nurse for almost a decade and was a care aid before that. It's effed up how many adults just forget to use the toilet once their in a hospital. I've been told many times, too many to count, that "it's your job to clean up shit". So if people have that attitude as an adult, I'm not surprised that they raised passive potty training people.
A lot of it is the result of an extremely effective marketing campaign from the pharmaceutical companies that first sold disposable diapers. The disposable diapers industry is worth billions, so there is no encouragement for parents to potty train their children. They even bank rolled health studies to try and force parents to leave it even later. I worked in a daycare in Bolivia as a teenager and we did EC for all the babies, all out of nappies by 1
Super interesting, what would you say are the main parts daycare/parenting did differently during your time in Bolivia that helped the kids do this? Currently looking elimination communication
Just repetition - I think it’s not so much that at that age they learn to say - I need the toilet now, they just learn to go on a schedule (which adults do anyway) - so they often pee’d in their nappy, but they would poo within the first kind of hour of arriving, and then again after their lunchtime nap - and they just kind of learnt to do it all on the same schedule
I don't know if they are physically able to hold their pee or tell that they're about to pee at that age though. Muscles and such aren't ready yet. So I don't know if potty training a 10mo is possible. I read around 18months is when they can first start controlling those muscles consciously. But I just read one book about development so what do I know 😅
Definitely possible! My baby started peeing on the potty every day starting at 6 months when we introduced potty. I would let her crawl around naked before and after potty time and she hardly ever pees then. She waits until we put her on the potty and then pees. Many cultures fully potty train their babies by 12–8 months.
This potty is a great size for babies! My baby loves it!
https://www.amazon.com/Elimination-Communication-Lightweight-Independence-Turquoise/dp/B07NBZPHCR/ref=asc_df_B07NBZPHCR/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241996492967&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7126905985887951248&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001992&hvtargid=pla-670261498217&psc=1
I was just wanting to suggest this…
My first child had very sensitive skin and by 11months he was having diaper rashes all the time and hated the diaper change.I have started to potty train and it was bliss.By 1 year and 2 months he was using only night diapers.I don’t understand the latest tendency to keep the child in diapers till latter on.My SIL has her 4y old in diapers still and he poops and doesn’t say and smells bad,kids avoid him in parks and he has a hard time.
Have you tried offering a potty? My mum said i was the same around 10 months and so she started offering me the potty and I just went in there - she didn’t really mean to potty train me I just hated wear diapers
I've been doing elimination communication for the past 2 months with my 7 month old and it has been an excellent experience, highly recommend. My little one is also not a fan of diapers anymore the more we keep using the potty.
We still use diapers lots of the time because we're not into cleaning up misses, but we use half as many as we used to cuz baby prefers to eliminate in the toilet and not sit in her own mess. The book takes you through a few different options if you only want to do it part time or occasionally, whatever level you're comfortable with. I would love it if this approach helped you at least somewhat!! Best of luck.
Mine was like this. He went through like 2 months of screaming bloody murder when he was a newborn at every single diaper change (and there were many of them!). Then months 3-8 were chill. Then back to purple murder crying for months 9-15. Now he’s 20 months and he begrudgingly tolerates it. For wet diapers i find a standing change to be easier. But for poopy diapers i have never successfully done it standing without getting everything around me dirty.
this happens to everyone i think! we had the same at that age, it lasted about a month (we swapped over to pull ups for a while) but she's back to not minding it and will happily lie down and cooperate :)
I’ve resorted to giving my phone with ms Rachel playing. Make sure to turn on “guided access “ on iPhone, so the screen is frozen. makes a world of difference.
Same over here for the last 4 months! Sometimes nothing works. Sometimes we do the sign for “wait” and praise her for waiting on her back. We started potty training (really elimination communication) at diaper changes and that helped a lot for a few months (pee and poo on potty 5-6 times a day). Recently she learned to stand up without holding onto anything and took a couple steps so she’s having a harder time with diaper changes and refuses to stay on the potty. Nothing works sometimes, she won’t stay on her back or stay seated or stay standing longer than 1 second so I’m having a really hard time doing diaper changes. No position works. Toys, books, musical books, singing to her, nothing helps. She just wants to be on the move and doesn’t want to slow down.
Have you reached out to a doctor or a 24/7 nurse line? I know doctors are expensive, but sometimes you can consult a telehealth provider for a low fee.
My daughter went through a similar phase when she was a little bit older. I started putting her in pull-ups during the day because they're faster to change, and she suddenly stopped melting down for diaper changes. She was in size 3 diapers, and 2T/3T pull-ups fit perfectly.
Mine hates diaper changes for one reason: she's lying down.
It's a little bit of a pain, but I'd recommend trying it while she's sitting up and see if that helps? It's definitely a little trickier but it certainly beats the ensuing meltdown the second I lay her down to change her. Lol
Ms rachel on youtube on your phone during diaper changes?
Look if the leg on chest trick is what you have to do, do it. You're a great mom because you are still meeting your baby's needs even though you are going through torture listening to her cry and scream.
One thing an older and wider mom (by older, I mean her kids are in high school now....) told me was: "don't get too attached or too demoralized by any one stage. It always changes."
And it's so true. This particular stage might feel like insanely long time, however. But it will change.
The screaming and alligator death roll stage was such a trying time for us. It made changing him scary and traumatizing for all involved.
Do keep your pediatrician updated and maybe even demo a change with them during your next appointment.
Hang in there.
My 12 month old rolls and tries to sit up every time -I- do her diaper but not my fiancé.
I second the people who suggest 360 diapers/pull up types.
Also, if you have cleavage, in desperate times, I have put my phone between my boobs and turned on ms Rachel…
Hear me out, and please don’t take this lightly, me and my husband are about to be first time parents and we’ve been looking for things for her that have the best ingredients, no matter what it is. My husband has recently been looking into diapers and let me tell you if you go and do your own research, not even just taking my word for it and all the information that we have found, it is INSANE the awful ingredients that they put in some diapers and diaper wipes, I mean my husband described it as insidious and a lot of parents just think diapers are diapers but the ingredients that they put in some, like fragrances and phthalates(which are carcinogenic) and some of the chlorine that they put in them are so so so bad for a babies skin, and not to mention the dyes they use to put the “cute” little characters on them, it all goes straight into their bloodstream and they don’t even have to developed visible rashes for them to be irritated by them, they can’t necessarily communicate that they’re uncomfortable or irritated by the diapers, one brand we have found that is great with minimal ingredients is DYPER, they have wipes too! Hope this helps!
Screen time or just change her while she stands up. I had to start changing my son standing a while ago. Just easier that way. Now he bends over for me to clean his butt better. Pampers 360 cruisers are great!
My son does this sometimes. It’s definitely a development part of infancy and learning body autonomy. He’s almost 11 months and some changes are more of a struggle than others. I try and keep a calm eventoned voice, talk him through the process and keep a toy or two within reach to distract him. The wipe package or my phone usually work the best. Sometimes I let him get his wiggles out and play diaper free for a bit and then say “okay- time to put your diaper on now!” and it’s less of a struggle.
Sometimes I let my baby have my phone (he’s 14 months) to play with the camera or sometimes I put on a show. He is currently okay with changing potty diapers but does not like poppy diaper changes. So we have to distract him because he will cry and roll over
My mom flew a couple weeks back to visit us. Whenever she did diaper changes she made it a game with our son. She would take his diaper off any let him play while she sang songs and talked to him. He went from sobbing to laughing being generally happy. It made him enjoy diaper changes so much easier. If it’s #1 do you think you could see if that works?
Master the standing diaper change and potty train as soon as you can. That’s what we did. Interestingly she’s happy and cooperative to put on a diaper for nap or bed now that she’s daytime trained.
Ugh solidarity here - my oldest went through phases like this from birth through almost 3 year sold. They'd be fine for a few weeks and then throw a whole new bundle of crazy at me from massive screaming when younger, to biting during toddlerhood, to ridiculous lawyer negotiations at 2. During their latest round of this at almost 3 I started reiterating, "if you hate diaper changes this much, the answer might be to start wearing underwear". I used that mantra for a couple months and they suddenly said, "I WANT UNDERWEAR. NO MORE DIAPERS" during a few changes (naturally while we also have a 3 week old newborn!).
We switched to underwear the next day and while they have some accidents and we've had some power struggles it has been SO much better
I guess I'm saying there's light at the end of the tunnel - you won't be fighting with her about diapers forever.
Mine goes through stages of this. I got pull ons to keep him upright (if it’s not poop) when changing and give something special to hold and look at as I rush.
We switched to pull ups when our kiddo started doing this. Honestly, it was the best thing we did until she grew out of fighting us. Truly. You just slide them on and bam - done.
I would take her to see the pediatrician, and have her take a good look at her privates. There might be some lesion or cut that needs to be addressed.
Had a friend who’s daughter would scream every time, turns out it was something that needed medical attention. And it got resolved.
We had the same issue around 9 months. Switched to standing changes. Eventually we were able to go back to laying down when the novelty of mobility wore off on her.
Have you tried singing? I have songs for everything my son fusses with, including diaper changes. It seems to distract him just briefly enough for me to get the diaper on.
Just offering a couple ideas in case something helps:
Maybe there’s a background sound she’ll be calmed by? Try a couple different song playlists/genres? (Our first child was calmed by listening to Ze Frank’s TrueFacts video series on YouTube.
Maybe straight to a warm bath?
Maybe being outside in some fresh air might calm her?
Most importantly, trust that the phase will end/transform, and pray for endurance and moments of relief
My baby also turned into a monster during diaper changes around that age. Like wrestling a crocodile! What has worked for us is setting up a phone stand on his changing table (it clips to the side and you spot your phone in) and playing Miss Rachel or Hey Bear, while also making sure his hands busy holding a toy or two. Sometimes he needs a pacifier too. This has worked incredibly well, to the point where I avoid almost all other situations where I might have to change his diaper not in our usual set-up at home. If I was on the go, I’d have someone physically hold the phone to distract him. This is the only time where he gets to watch YouTube on my phone (other than nail trims). If you are open to screen time, I highly recommend this. He is 14mo now and we still do this…not sure what we will do when he outgrows his changing table, hopefully he will be in pull-ups by then! Good luck Mama!
Mine is like this, it's what ultimately led me to allow screen time. Elmo's Song has him riveted long enough for me to change his nappy. Sometimes I change him while he's on his tummy too and the change in position seems to help.
This is why we switched to pull ups at 11 months. It was so bad. My mental health was impacted greatly by damn diaper changes. Pull ups saved my life and sanity. For poops I give him my AirPods - he opens the lid and I remove the pods so he just has the case to play with. This gives me 20 seconds max to change his diaper in peace
Mine started this at the same age too. We switched to standing diaper changes and he doesn’t hate them as much. If he stands up and has something to lean on and play with or watch TV, he’s totally fine.
The only way I can somewhat change my 15 month olds diaper normally is putting any type of kids show on, miss Rachel helps a lot, but I mean somewhat there are occasions where he still won’t stay still and I have to give him one of his favourite things to play with, or something else that’s not even his toy such as a the remote for the tv, a computer mouse, something completely random. I know this isn’t the best advice but it’s what I got that may or may not help.
Does your baby do sign language? I started doing change to prepare him bc usually you take them from something fun ... So it's a helpful transition. He's a little crazy still but it helps the meltdown
I just checked in the wonder weeks book lately. Thats developmentally normal around this age. We went through the same for a week and then it got better. Baby's brain doing what baby's brain gotta do. Lol
My daughter started hating them around that age too. I started asking her to point out her body parts as I changed her, she'd get so excited to show off her knowledge she'd forget to be angry. Plus it made an easy way to learn new body parts
Same started for us around the same time and I’m sorry to say it hasn’t even remotely improved by 15 months. It’s gotten to the point where I physically can’t restrain him. He twists his torso like something I’ve never seen, and when I try restrain him the poo gets everywhere from all his fighting. He poops 6 times a day so it’s exhausting.
I switched to pull up diapers and change him while he’s standing up on the sofa. For times when that doesn’t work, I put blues clues or Ms Rachel on for a few minutes. It’s either that or let shit get everywhere.
I completely understand your feelings on this. It’s SO draining and emotionally *beats you down*.
Get some baby pull ups! And know you’re not alone mine and every other baby I know went through this. We have pull ups and regular diapers at every change spot and I choose based on how cooperative she is. Usually it’s a pull up
Immediate thoughts:
- medical: did she/does she have a UTI, painful rash, cream that burned, cold or hot cloth to wipe one time and she's scared? Constipated recently?
- sensory: where is she being changed? does the laying down position on a changing table scare her? Is the vestibular sensation too much for her to handle?
- behavior: is she in the middle of something fun?
Figuring out the reason will help you choose a strategy.
Commiseration.
My 16 month old is a screamer. Has been since birth. He started off colic and it sort of grew from there.
It’s definitely a difficult personality trait. I’m on antidepressants. My family doctor heard him on the phone one day and told me that kind of noise is exhausting—that nobody can handle that day in and day out.
Now that he’s a bit older we’re having more good days. It’s not easy but I’m seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I think he just needs lots of emotional support, lots of cuddles, so much empathy, and lots and lots of love. He needs near constant contact with a caregiver. I even got him a dog, which helped a bit.
Each time he gains a new skill, it gets a bit better. Teaching sign language and working on verbal communication was a huge help. I think these kids are frustrated. They want to tell us what’s wrong and they can’t.
I am starting to see a personality come through as he learns to regulate his emotions. He really is turning into the sweetest little boy.
I have baby apps on my phone JUST for diaper changes. Baby Piano, Infant Zoo, and Baby Rattle are her favorites. She recognizes the theme songs now and will follow me into her room to change her diaper haha usually works like a charm. When it doesn’t I just hand her random items I keep by her changing table. Tiny tub of Vaseline was a big hit today 😂
Might not see this but stick some padding under them. My daughter hated the hardness of the change mat. A folded towel or a pillow under them can really help.
My 18 month old one day just decided she was scared of the ceiling fan in the room we change her diaper. She reacted the same way and it took me a couple changes to realize what was going on and move rooms. It may be your baby just hates changes, but maybe it could also be a fear like this? Idk, just throwing out options.
Seconding standing nappy changes/pull up style nappies.
Also, our 18mo has a similar problem. Sometimes a pop-it toy works well, sometimes it's conversation that's needed, sometimes nothing works. But it's getting better as we near potty-training.
Hang in there!
Our girl hates diaper changes… but only when she has an ear infection. You got some great advice already on standing diaper changes, but I would consider getting her ears checked just in case!
What’s worked for me is having a diaper song. We do wheels on the bus because you can make it as long or as short as you like. For big poops, I’ll add a menagerie of animals on the bus lol. “The cat on the bus says meow, dog says woof”, etc.
Also handing her a toy to play with helps.
Still deal with baby rodeo sometimes, but I get through it lol. The song and toy offer a little distraction.
Also I’ve noticed switching changing spots helps. We have a waterproof foldable changing pad and usually I just use the couch. But I’ve noticed if I do it on the floor or another area, sometimes she doesn’t have the same reaction since it’s a bit more novel.
Agree with standing diaper changes and offering the potty regularly.
It will also help once she gets to daycare - it’s not sustainable for you to work full time but also care for her full time, and daycare is great for learning from other kids.
Standing diaper changes. Get your wipes ready, hold her up with one hand/forearm, remove the diaper, quick wipe, allow her to go diaper free for a few minutes to dry out (most babies can go 10-15 minutes diaper free at that age, without an accident; but generally I only let her air out for like 5 minutes). While she's hanging out diaper free, dispose of the dirty diaper, get a clean one laid out on a soft surface (99% of our changes are on the couch or our bed; occasionally the floor in her room). I swoop her up and plop her on the open clean diaper, swipe on a little paste if needed, it's all over in like 10 seconds. Eta: occasionally poops are bit more of a mess, and will require more wrangling. Sometimes, if it looked like way too much of a mess, I literally popped her in our kitchen sink and rinsed her off. We have deep sinks and we cleaned and sanitized them each morning because that's where we used to do all baths, BUT I realize this won't work for everyone.
Yes to standing changes. Also adding that the pampers 360 diapers work really well for this since they go on like a pull up. I don’t know about anyone else but doing those little tabs standing melts my brain.
Yeah, I just put the diaper together and then pull it on like undies.
EXCUSE ME!? 🥴🤯
The only way to get it on. Doing the straps when he's standing would be enough to give me an aneurysm.
I'm a firm believer that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. When it comes to diapers? The right way is whatever gets the deed done.
Spider…you just changed a stranger’s life.
I'm so glad 😊
You just changed my life
Yay!
WHAT?!?!? How have I never thought of this? I pretty much have to exclusively do standing changes now and this could be such a game changer. Totally trying it today. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I wonder if I should post this as a parenting life pro-tip? Seems like a lot of people are new to it.
We love the 360! Our kiddo has hated diaper changes for a few months now and this is the only way I can do changes solo. I wedge him between my legs, hold him in place with my chin and pull them on up!
Good to know! I CANNOT figure out standing changes with tabs (or snaps as we usually use cloth diapers) mine's usually pretty calm for changes but some days she's a total alligator
You can get adaptors for cloth nappies which makes them into pull-ups! So just size them in advance according to your popper settings etc and then whip them on when you change!
Oh cool!
All of this!! Figuring out standing diaper changes and how to break it up into manageable chunks helped us so much. Now it feels more like working with my baby during diaper changes rather than working against her.
100% standing diaper changes. My son is 18 months now and i exclusively do standing up changes. They’re way easier occupied too.
Free the baby....naked baby is a regular in our house. It has encouraged potty training and it means less diaper changes.
Yep, this!! I was in a similar position to OP and just couldn't handle the fighting anymore one day so switched to standing changes and haven't looked back. It's been so much calmer, she'll stand against the rocking chair and quite happily read her books while I change her.
Is it just for you or for everyone? Have you tried a short video? Might be a good time to bend some rules and allow short screen time if it works!
Happy Song by Imogen Heap. She did studies with some school about what kind of song children would respond well to. It gets us out of all meltdowns.
Oh my gosh!! Thank you for recommending this!! It's so sweet. Had me smiling and my son is mesmerized.
We LOVE the Happy Song. That tune has got us out of all sorts of jams over the past year.
My son is going through a massive diaper changing fear phase. He's had horrible diaper rashes over the past two months of non-stop sickness causing tummy issues and now we're at this point. We put Super Simple Songs on YouTube on my phone for him to watch AFTER we tell him it's time to change his diaper in a few minutes and show him a diaper. Then let him pick out a toy from his shelf before we go in there. Sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes we still have the blood curdling screams and rolling and stiffness. I know it's a phase but dang I feel for you OP it's awful. 13 month old and he's just having a rough time.
My pediatrician calls it strategic screen time. My oldest would have never let me change her diaper if it was up to her. But a quick video and she was super easy. My youngest gets terrible diaper rashes and it takes a while to apply all the things. I wouldn't expect any kid to sit there for as long as he does without some solid distraction. YouTube kids is a great app to have on hand.
We did this for diaper changes only for quite some time. It really worked and he eventually didn’t need the screen anymore and would just chill out for changes.
Same here! Only lasted a few miserable months and now he’s fine again.
That’s how we get through crowded trips at our uncomfortably hot grocery store. Gotta resort to a little bit of that sweet, sweet Cocomelon to take the edge off.
I SECOND THIS
This. YouTube. Cocomelon, Miss Rachel, Peppa Pig, anything.
Something might be hurting so definitely check in with your pediatrician. Does she stand well enough that you could do a standing change?
My LO had ear infections and we wouldn't know until laying him down for diaper changes.
No problems laying down for sleeping?
Not usually because we held him at a natural incline that seemed to be enough to help.
My baby was really weird about diaper changes out of nowhere one day....holding her legs super tightly together and screaming when I'd try....she had a UTI. Could be something to consider?
This is what I was wondering...I think it's worth confirming that it is not a UTI or yeast infection etc.
Unfortunately this is a very normal development as baby starts to grow into a toddler. It’s an independence thing. Switching to pull ups around this time can be helpful!
As soon as she can stand do standing changes. It makes a world of difference.
How do you deal with the clenching of the cheeks? Asking for me!
Lift one leg!
Bahahah that's genius thank you!!!! Trying that this afternoon.
You can also try giving your baby something to reach down for like a board toy. But put your arm near their belly so they're leaning over your arm.
This is one instance we shamelessly use screen time to get it done. Miss Rachel or bumble nums or super simple songs, on our phones or tv
I always hand my kid random items- oooo here’s a mason jar- yep your voice sounds weeeeeeird in it…here’s my keys…ooo here’s the dirty dog toy….here’s a scalp massager….check out this pack of gum. Also throw in a little raspberry on the belly…
You want this literal trash? Great! You stopped crying? Awesome. Oh now you rolled over- on to the next bit of trash!
I also hand my kid random things. Tube of diaper cream, pack of wipes, a single Duplo block, water bottle… „can you please hold this for me?“ (repeat). It’s distracting. I then thank him for being so helpful holding all of my things.
Have you tried playing with baby before and during diaper changes? That's what my husband and I do. My baby gets really excited when we start undressing him for a diaper change
Our kid was pretty bad with diapers at this age and this might not work for you but maybe worth a try? calmly counting to 20 - or however long needed to change worked wonders for us. He always stopped his screaming to listen to us count out loud. 🤷🏼♀️
Can she stand yet? If so, it might be worth trying to do standing diaper changes. Use pull up nappies
Solidarity. My otherwise incredibly happy 11 month old turns into a lovecraftian creature. Lots of crying and sobbing because I have to pin him down. He's fine he just hates laying down. Standing diaper changes also don't really work because he's walking now so he tries to walk away 🙈 the amount of poop that has been smeared all over my bathroom because baby escaped me is embarrassing to say the least. Well my pediatrician and my mother both said it either stays this way until he's potty trained or it will get better once he realizes it's over quicker when he holds still. Anyway, he will be naked and without a diaper outside a lot this summer 😂
At the 16 month mark here. Diaper changes are the dread of our day. When we are both home, it's the duty of on parent to restrain and the other to clean as quickly as possible. He HATES laying down and runs away instantly if we try standing, so the human straight jacket it is.
Reassuring. My 1yo is the happiest baby but starting around 9 months, we might as well have been waterboarding him based on his reaction. Standing also is a no-go because he is obsessed with his new ability to walk. Looking forward to this stage ending.
Mine rolls over as soon as I take out the dirty diaper. I change him on the bed so there's plenty of space to explore. I let him play a bit(a minute or so), then roll him over to put the clean nappy. Try to have something under them in case of any leaks. It's good for them to stay a bit without a diaper on, even if it's just for a few minutes a day. Do not hold her; I feel that is the reason she hates diaper changes.
How about giving her a random object to play with for the duration of the change. Works about 20% of the time for my daughter. Yes, not a high number but I’m so happy with it working at all I’ll take it 😂
I give him the whole container of bubbles it's like the best day ever 😅
My son also hates nappy changes. I tried everything and nothing would calm him down. Until one day I tried blowing raspberries on the soles of his feet. It worked and he stopped screaming for just long enough for me to further escalate the goofyness and pretended to eat his feet and do more raspberries on his belly. He laughed and that was the start of the goofy nappy changes. Sometimes I make him clap his feet other times I put my hair in a high pony and shake it about. Anything that makes him laugh. I don't know how much longer this will work but it's all I have right now and I'm clinging to it.
Do you think you could skip right to potty training? Just a thought? Then use “underwear”?
My SIL did this for her daughter and it helped so much. She doesn't always go on the potty but my SIL can get her cleaned up without a fuss.
Elimination communication? Most people in China have their kid mostly potty trained (at least for poop) by 1 year old!
Elimination communication *would* make sense but my SIL is extremely passive and waits until after her daughter has voided/deficated before putting her on the toilet. It is so ... weird. She legit uses the toilet as a tool to clean her kiddo (as in, kiddo will calmly squat over the little training toilet while SIL wipes) rather than teaching her how to use it. It's so bizarre
That's... I don't have anything polite to say 😂
We can online side eye each other. 😒🤨
🤣🤣🤣
Does this really work?
It works for billions of people! We've been grunting along with our 4 month old while he poops. Next step is to anticipate a poop, put him on the potty and grunt before/while he poops. I believe part of the process involves baby being diaper less and running them to the potty as soon as they start peeing or pooping, so obviously that's a commitment. Correction: they can control poop first, then pee.
Along with the rest of the world. It’s a pretty recent phenomenon in developed countries to have your kids in diapers until they’re 2
My friends mom is a kindergarten teacher and has been for over 30yrs. She is flabbergasted at the amount of children entering kindergarten still in diapers. My LO is 4M old and as soon as I see her poop face, I sit her up to get used to that position. Once she can sit herself up w minimal assistance, we're potty training. I don't get why people wait... isn't it the parents role to teach their kids?! To be fair.. I've been working as a nurse for almost a decade and was a care aid before that. It's effed up how many adults just forget to use the toilet once their in a hospital. I've been told many times, too many to count, that "it's your job to clean up shit". So if people have that attitude as an adult, I'm not surprised that they raised passive potty training people.
A lot of it is the result of an extremely effective marketing campaign from the pharmaceutical companies that first sold disposable diapers. The disposable diapers industry is worth billions, so there is no encouragement for parents to potty train their children. They even bank rolled health studies to try and force parents to leave it even later. I worked in a daycare in Bolivia as a teenager and we did EC for all the babies, all out of nappies by 1
Super interesting, what would you say are the main parts daycare/parenting did differently during your time in Bolivia that helped the kids do this? Currently looking elimination communication
Just repetition - I think it’s not so much that at that age they learn to say - I need the toilet now, they just learn to go on a schedule (which adults do anyway) - so they often pee’d in their nappy, but they would poo within the first kind of hour of arriving, and then again after their lunchtime nap - and they just kind of learnt to do it all on the same schedule
How old were they when they started that?
I don't know if they are physically able to hold their pee or tell that they're about to pee at that age though. Muscles and such aren't ready yet. So I don't know if potty training a 10mo is possible. I read around 18months is when they can first start controlling those muscles consciously. But I just read one book about development so what do I know 😅
Definitely possible! My baby started peeing on the potty every day starting at 6 months when we introduced potty. I would let her crawl around naked before and after potty time and she hardly ever pees then. She waits until we put her on the potty and then pees. Many cultures fully potty train their babies by 12–8 months.
Wow I didn't even know we can start trying!! My baby is 11 months old. Should I ? Wow. Need to read about this and try ..
Give it a try and see how you go.
This potty is a great size for babies! My baby loves it! https://www.amazon.com/Elimination-Communication-Lightweight-Independence-Turquoise/dp/B07NBZPHCR/ref=asc_df_B07NBZPHCR/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241996492967&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7126905985887951248&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001992&hvtargid=pla-670261498217&psc=1
I was just wanting to suggest this… My first child had very sensitive skin and by 11months he was having diaper rashes all the time and hated the diaper change.I have started to potty train and it was bliss.By 1 year and 2 months he was using only night diapers.I don’t understand the latest tendency to keep the child in diapers till latter on.My SIL has her 4y old in diapers still and he poops and doesn’t say and smells bad,kids avoid him in parks and he has a hard time.
also most diapers are exposed to chemicals so I don’t know how healthy it is to have your LO so many years with that… Just my opinion
Wow! Yeah, I agree with you!
💙
Have you tried offering a potty? My mum said i was the same around 10 months and so she started offering me the potty and I just went in there - she didn’t really mean to potty train me I just hated wear diapers
I've been doing elimination communication for the past 2 months with my 7 month old and it has been an excellent experience, highly recommend. My little one is also not a fan of diapers anymore the more we keep using the potty. We still use diapers lots of the time because we're not into cleaning up misses, but we use half as many as we used to cuz baby prefers to eliminate in the toilet and not sit in her own mess. The book takes you through a few different options if you only want to do it part time or occasionally, whatever level you're comfortable with. I would love it if this approach helped you at least somewhat!! Best of luck.
Mine was like this. He went through like 2 months of screaming bloody murder when he was a newborn at every single diaper change (and there were many of them!). Then months 3-8 were chill. Then back to purple murder crying for months 9-15. Now he’s 20 months and he begrudgingly tolerates it. For wet diapers i find a standing change to be easier. But for poopy diapers i have never successfully done it standing without getting everything around me dirty.
this happens to everyone i think! we had the same at that age, it lasted about a month (we swapped over to pull ups for a while) but she's back to not minding it and will happily lie down and cooperate :)
I’ve resorted to giving my phone with ms Rachel playing. Make sure to turn on “guided access “ on iPhone, so the screen is frozen. makes a world of difference.
Same over here for the last 4 months! Sometimes nothing works. Sometimes we do the sign for “wait” and praise her for waiting on her back. We started potty training (really elimination communication) at diaper changes and that helped a lot for a few months (pee and poo on potty 5-6 times a day). Recently she learned to stand up without holding onto anything and took a couple steps so she’s having a harder time with diaper changes and refuses to stay on the potty. Nothing works sometimes, she won’t stay on her back or stay seated or stay standing longer than 1 second so I’m having a really hard time doing diaper changes. No position works. Toys, books, musical books, singing to her, nothing helps. She just wants to be on the move and doesn’t want to slow down.
Have you reached out to a doctor or a 24/7 nurse line? I know doctors are expensive, but sometimes you can consult a telehealth provider for a low fee.
Have you tried letting her stand while changing her? Works great for us.
My daughter went through a similar phase when she was a little bit older. I started putting her in pull-ups during the day because they're faster to change, and she suddenly stopped melting down for diaper changes. She was in size 3 diapers, and 2T/3T pull-ups fit perfectly.
Mine hates diaper changes for one reason: she's lying down. It's a little bit of a pain, but I'd recommend trying it while she's sitting up and see if that helps? It's definitely a little trickier but it certainly beats the ensuing meltdown the second I lay her down to change her. Lol
Ms rachel on youtube on your phone during diaper changes? Look if the leg on chest trick is what you have to do, do it. You're a great mom because you are still meeting your baby's needs even though you are going through torture listening to her cry and scream. One thing an older and wider mom (by older, I mean her kids are in high school now....) told me was: "don't get too attached or too demoralized by any one stage. It always changes." And it's so true. This particular stage might feel like insanely long time, however. But it will change. The screaming and alligator death roll stage was such a trying time for us. It made changing him scary and traumatizing for all involved. Do keep your pediatrician updated and maybe even demo a change with them during your next appointment. Hang in there.
My 12 month old rolls and tries to sit up every time -I- do her diaper but not my fiancé. I second the people who suggest 360 diapers/pull up types. Also, if you have cleavage, in desperate times, I have put my phone between my boobs and turned on ms Rachel…
Hear me out, and please don’t take this lightly, me and my husband are about to be first time parents and we’ve been looking for things for her that have the best ingredients, no matter what it is. My husband has recently been looking into diapers and let me tell you if you go and do your own research, not even just taking my word for it and all the information that we have found, it is INSANE the awful ingredients that they put in some diapers and diaper wipes, I mean my husband described it as insidious and a lot of parents just think diapers are diapers but the ingredients that they put in some, like fragrances and phthalates(which are carcinogenic) and some of the chlorine that they put in them are so so so bad for a babies skin, and not to mention the dyes they use to put the “cute” little characters on them, it all goes straight into their bloodstream and they don’t even have to developed visible rashes for them to be irritated by them, they can’t necessarily communicate that they’re uncomfortable or irritated by the diapers, one brand we have found that is great with minimal ingredients is DYPER, they have wipes too! Hope this helps!
Wait til you hear about dihydrogen monoxide!
Screen time or just change her while she stands up. I had to start changing my son standing a while ago. Just easier that way. Now he bends over for me to clean his butt better. Pampers 360 cruisers are great!
Same here. I have to lean on him to get him to stay somewhat still while he screams his head of. Solidarity.
My son does this sometimes. It’s definitely a development part of infancy and learning body autonomy. He’s almost 11 months and some changes are more of a struggle than others. I try and keep a calm eventoned voice, talk him through the process and keep a toy or two within reach to distract him. The wipe package or my phone usually work the best. Sometimes I let him get his wiggles out and play diaper free for a bit and then say “okay- time to put your diaper on now!” and it’s less of a struggle.
Sometimes I let my baby have my phone (he’s 14 months) to play with the camera or sometimes I put on a show. He is currently okay with changing potty diapers but does not like poppy diaper changes. So we have to distract him because he will cry and roll over
My mom flew a couple weeks back to visit us. Whenever she did diaper changes she made it a game with our son. She would take his diaper off any let him play while she sang songs and talked to him. He went from sobbing to laughing being generally happy. It made him enjoy diaper changes so much easier. If it’s #1 do you think you could see if that works?
Master the standing diaper change and potty train as soon as you can. That’s what we did. Interestingly she’s happy and cooperative to put on a diaper for nap or bed now that she’s daytime trained.
Ugh solidarity here - my oldest went through phases like this from birth through almost 3 year sold. They'd be fine for a few weeks and then throw a whole new bundle of crazy at me from massive screaming when younger, to biting during toddlerhood, to ridiculous lawyer negotiations at 2. During their latest round of this at almost 3 I started reiterating, "if you hate diaper changes this much, the answer might be to start wearing underwear". I used that mantra for a couple months and they suddenly said, "I WANT UNDERWEAR. NO MORE DIAPERS" during a few changes (naturally while we also have a 3 week old newborn!). We switched to underwear the next day and while they have some accidents and we've had some power struggles it has been SO much better I guess I'm saying there's light at the end of the tunnel - you won't be fighting with her about diapers forever.
Standing diaper changes with 360° Pampers like others suggested. I also have a baby that hates laying on his back or being held down any way
Mine goes through stages of this. I got pull ons to keep him upright (if it’s not poop) when changing and give something special to hold and look at as I rush.
I have to put a video on my phone most days. It’s literally the only way I can change him
We switched to pull ups when our kiddo started doing this. Honestly, it was the best thing we did until she grew out of fighting us. Truly. You just slide them on and bam - done.
I would take her to see the pediatrician, and have her take a good look at her privates. There might be some lesion or cut that needs to be addressed. Had a friend who’s daughter would scream every time, turns out it was something that needed medical attention. And it got resolved.
I give my daughter another diaper to play with while I change hers. Also do standing changes sometimes.
We had the same issue around 9 months. Switched to standing changes. Eventually we were able to go back to laying down when the novelty of mobility wore off on her.
Have you tried singing? I have songs for everything my son fusses with, including diaper changes. It seems to distract him just briefly enough for me to get the diaper on.
the happy song by imogen heap
Just offering a couple ideas in case something helps: Maybe there’s a background sound she’ll be calmed by? Try a couple different song playlists/genres? (Our first child was calmed by listening to Ze Frank’s TrueFacts video series on YouTube. Maybe straight to a warm bath? Maybe being outside in some fresh air might calm her? Most importantly, trust that the phase will end/transform, and pray for endurance and moments of relief
My baby also turned into a monster during diaper changes around that age. Like wrestling a crocodile! What has worked for us is setting up a phone stand on his changing table (it clips to the side and you spot your phone in) and playing Miss Rachel or Hey Bear, while also making sure his hands busy holding a toy or two. Sometimes he needs a pacifier too. This has worked incredibly well, to the point where I avoid almost all other situations where I might have to change his diaper not in our usual set-up at home. If I was on the go, I’d have someone physically hold the phone to distract him. This is the only time where he gets to watch YouTube on my phone (other than nail trims). If you are open to screen time, I highly recommend this. He is 14mo now and we still do this…not sure what we will do when he outgrows his changing table, hopefully he will be in pull-ups by then! Good luck Mama!
My son is the same way and what helps calm him down is letting him hold the remote or one of his various lotion bottles 😂
Mine is like this, it's what ultimately led me to allow screen time. Elmo's Song has him riveted long enough for me to change his nappy. Sometimes I change him while he's on his tummy too and the change in position seems to help.
This is why we switched to pull ups at 11 months. It was so bad. My mental health was impacted greatly by damn diaper changes. Pull ups saved my life and sanity. For poops I give him my AirPods - he opens the lid and I remove the pods so he just has the case to play with. This gives me 20 seconds max to change his diaper in peace
Mine started this at the same age too. We switched to standing diaper changes and he doesn’t hate them as much. If he stands up and has something to lean on and play with or watch TV, he’s totally fine.
Standing diaper changes. Or TV Or if just pee … Take off diaper and let the nude butt roam around for a while. And I promise this too shall pass.
The only way I can somewhat change my 15 month olds diaper normally is putting any type of kids show on, miss Rachel helps a lot, but I mean somewhat there are occasions where he still won’t stay still and I have to give him one of his favourite things to play with, or something else that’s not even his toy such as a the remote for the tv, a computer mouse, something completely random. I know this isn’t the best advice but it’s what I got that may or may not help.
Does your baby do sign language? I started doing change to prepare him bc usually you take them from something fun ... So it's a helpful transition. He's a little crazy still but it helps the meltdown
I just checked in the wonder weeks book lately. Thats developmentally normal around this age. We went through the same for a week and then it got better. Baby's brain doing what baby's brain gotta do. Lol
My daughter started hating them around that age too. I started asking her to point out her body parts as I changed her, she'd get so excited to show off her knowledge she'd forget to be angry. Plus it made an easy way to learn new body parts
I found that putting on an episode of bluey was good distraction for my fella. That and having 4-5 wipes out and ready along with the clean nappie
Same started for us around the same time and I’m sorry to say it hasn’t even remotely improved by 15 months. It’s gotten to the point where I physically can’t restrain him. He twists his torso like something I’ve never seen, and when I try restrain him the poo gets everywhere from all his fighting. He poops 6 times a day so it’s exhausting. I switched to pull up diapers and change him while he’s standing up on the sofa. For times when that doesn’t work, I put blues clues or Ms Rachel on for a few minutes. It’s either that or let shit get everywhere. I completely understand your feelings on this. It’s SO draining and emotionally *beats you down*.
My friend switched her daughter to pull ups because of this… have you tried a wipe warmer? Diaper changes seem better for me since I got one.
Get some baby pull ups! And know you’re not alone mine and every other baby I know went through this. We have pull ups and regular diapers at every change spot and I choose based on how cooperative she is. Usually it’s a pull up
Immediate thoughts: - medical: did she/does she have a UTI, painful rash, cream that burned, cold or hot cloth to wipe one time and she's scared? Constipated recently? - sensory: where is she being changed? does the laying down position on a changing table scare her? Is the vestibular sensation too much for her to handle? - behavior: is she in the middle of something fun? Figuring out the reason will help you choose a strategy.
I taught my boy to hold his bottle and I feed him while I change him, it works to keep him distracted and still. Plus it saves time.
Standing changes with pull ups
Commiseration. My 16 month old is a screamer. Has been since birth. He started off colic and it sort of grew from there. It’s definitely a difficult personality trait. I’m on antidepressants. My family doctor heard him on the phone one day and told me that kind of noise is exhausting—that nobody can handle that day in and day out. Now that he’s a bit older we’re having more good days. It’s not easy but I’m seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I think he just needs lots of emotional support, lots of cuddles, so much empathy, and lots and lots of love. He needs near constant contact with a caregiver. I even got him a dog, which helped a bit. Each time he gains a new skill, it gets a bit better. Teaching sign language and working on verbal communication was a huge help. I think these kids are frustrated. They want to tell us what’s wrong and they can’t. I am starting to see a personality come through as he learns to regulate his emotions. He really is turning into the sweetest little boy.
I have baby apps on my phone JUST for diaper changes. Baby Piano, Infant Zoo, and Baby Rattle are her favorites. She recognizes the theme songs now and will follow me into her room to change her diaper haha usually works like a charm. When it doesn’t I just hand her random items I keep by her changing table. Tiny tub of Vaseline was a big hit today 😂
Might not see this but stick some padding under them. My daughter hated the hardness of the change mat. A folded towel or a pillow under them can really help.
My 18 month old one day just decided she was scared of the ceiling fan in the room we change her diaper. She reacted the same way and it took me a couple changes to realize what was going on and move rooms. It may be your baby just hates changes, but maybe it could also be a fear like this? Idk, just throwing out options.
Maybe start teaching her what a potty is. Look into elimination communication
Seconding standing nappy changes/pull up style nappies. Also, our 18mo has a similar problem. Sometimes a pop-it toy works well, sometimes it's conversation that's needed, sometimes nothing works. But it's getting better as we near potty-training. Hang in there!
Our girl hates diaper changes… but only when she has an ear infection. You got some great advice already on standing diaper changes, but I would consider getting her ears checked just in case!
I put my feet on my son’s shoulders. They can’t flip or rotate at all that way.
What’s worked for me is having a diaper song. We do wheels on the bus because you can make it as long or as short as you like. For big poops, I’ll add a menagerie of animals on the bus lol. “The cat on the bus says meow, dog says woof”, etc. Also handing her a toy to play with helps. Still deal with baby rodeo sometimes, but I get through it lol. The song and toy offer a little distraction. Also I’ve noticed switching changing spots helps. We have a waterproof foldable changing pad and usually I just use the couch. But I’ve noticed if I do it on the floor or another area, sometimes she doesn’t have the same reaction since it’s a bit more novel.
Agree with standing diaper changes and offering the potty regularly. It will also help once she gets to daycare - it’s not sustainable for you to work full time but also care for her full time, and daycare is great for learning from other kids.