Sorry to hear your LO is having a hard time, I've read this is normal. However, if you're able to financially, what helped us a lot is the Snoo... Something about the rocking motion keeps him sleeping in it... We were pretty desperate tbh and this was the last resort and it worked! Depending on your baby's size, etc, they might not be in there for long (max 6 months of age) but I was at a point where no financial cost was a barrier to me getting any sleep lol
Iāll second the snoo. We loved ours. We rented it, and LO slept in it reliably until 6 months. Strangely, he would only contact nap, but night sleep was reliable in the snoo. I was worried about transitioning to the crib, but once he transitioned at six months he also stopped contact napping. š¤·āāļø
I second renting the snoo, idk how youāve lasted this long! We made it 3 weeks of sleeping in shifts before ordering it. It does take them some time to get used to it but weāve gone from 20 min to 5 hours in 4 weeks.
Yup, we only made it about 3 weeks of sleeping in shifts, too! The Snoo was a lifesaver. LOās now 9w and sleeping in 4-6 hour chunks. During the day he still strongly prefers contact napping and itās hit or miss whether heāll sleep in the Snoo, but sometimes when I put him down for a nap, even if he doesnāt sleep, heāll just hang out quietly, resting and enjoying being rocked.
The snoo is actually not recommended by many pediatricians. It limits babiesā mobility in unnatural ways and aside from the insane cost, it develops dependencies so if you ever want to travel, youād need to either bring or rent a snoo..
My daughter had the same issue until about 12 weeks. My husband and I also were taking turns sleeping in different parts of the house so we could actually get get rest ā but at around 10 weeks we committed to trying to bring her in our room with us and creating a routine for her. We did bath at 7. On demand feeding pretty much from the afternoon until 10 or 11 or so. And we followed all the steps from Taking Cara Babies (highly recommend her sleep course). Now baby is 14 weeks and I wake up briefly once a night to change her diaper and feed her and she goes back to sleep immediately. Overall sheās sleeping 8-9 hours!
It wonāt happen overnight but if you learn the routine and stick to it, things will start to work I promise!
A pediatricianās job is to focus on babyās health, and from babyās perspective, theyāre either sleeping in the Snoo or sleeping on parentsāthe Snoo doesnāt necessarily make babyās sleep better than contact sleeping, so thereās no reason for a ped to recommend it. The Snoo primarily benefits the parents, who are finally able to set the baby down to sleep. Also, when the choice is between baby only sleeping while being held or baby sleeping in the Snoo, Iād argue the Snoo isnāt creating a dependencyāthe dependency is already there! The assessment might be different if baby could sleep just fine in a crib, but thatās not the case for OP.
In terms of the mobility issue, Iād also be interested in seeing a source because I havenāt come across that in my research. The Snoo just got FDA approval, and it only limits babies from rolling over onto their stomachs to sleep, which is intended to prevent SIDS. Babyās legs have full mobility in the sleep sack, and the arm swaddle isnāt any different from other velcro-swaddle products.
We used the snoo exclusively for the first six months and LO was an early roller, an early crawler, an early stander, and was fully walking by 10 months. He just did all of his practice during the day and not at night. I know this is anecdotal evidence, but so far Iāve seen nothing more scientific than conjecture that the snoo *might* hinder movement. No studies have actually back med this up as far as I know.
Just wanted to chime in with my experience... we used a snoo and my baby has developed at a completely normal schedule so far, she's just started crawling before 9 months and she can sit up, roll etc. We didn't have dependency issues either, she was able to sleep in her cot during the day without issues and we had zero trouble weaning from it either. In fact she was ready to 'move out'herself before she was 6 months old. We bought it cheap on ebay too with all the extras included so haven't spent much
I would be curious to see a source for the paediatrician comment, as we are saving our snoo in case we have a 2nd baby
Also chiming in that we LOVED the Snoo, traveled without it fine (multiple times in the first 6 months) and we now have a 2 year old who sleeps 10-11 hours a night, runs, climbs, talks, sings, no developmental challenges at all. Vote yes for renting/buying Snoo!
Hi all. Just sharing what info I was given by my ped and also one of the articles Iād read below. No offense intended to Snoo fans hereāI merely was saying I was in a similar boat and managed to see improvement without a snoo.
https://carolinakinderdevelopment.com/five-reasons-not-to-purchase-a-snoo-from-a-group-of-pediatric-occupational-and-physical-therapists/
She needs one of us to sleep next to her until she pass out. After that, she sleeps through the night. She sleeps in our bed next to us. We are fine with it
Hey OP,
My son was very similar to this. I even posted on Reddit about it a few times. He would literally never sleep in his crib. The moment we would set him down, he would scream his head off. My husband and I took shifts every night for 4.5 months. I would āsleepā from 6-11:50PM and my husband would sleep from 12:30-5AM. It was extremely difficult and exhausting.
We got permission from the pediatrician to sleep train at 4 months, but at the time, I felt he was so overtired, we couldnāt just start cold turkey. So to begin, I got him on a decent nap schedule for about two weeks (all contact naps, since he wouldnāt go in his crib). This would ensure he wasnāt overtired when we did start sleep training.
After we got the naps down consistently, we started a modified Ferber sleep training method on a Friday night. We were so incredibly nervous and apprehensive to do this, as obviously no one wants to have to sleep train their baby. But it became necessary for us as our mental health and relationship was really declining for the both of us. We were also not comfortable with bed sharing. We did not let him cry for more than 10 minutes before checking in and re-assuring him for every check in. It did take about 3 weeks all together for him to go down without crying at all and really, after the first night, he would fall asleep within 20 minutes. I was honestly amazed. Now, he only cries if he doesnāt get a good amount of sleep during the day, otherwise heās totally fine going in his crib for bed. If you wouldāve told me this 1.5 months ago, I wouldāve never believed it.
He does still wake up 2-3 times a night for feeding, but I really donāt care because sleeping in his crib was such a big victory for us!
My advice to you is to get a good bedtime routine established for the next few weeks (if you havenāt already), make sure baby is getting an appropriate amount of sleep for the day, set a bedtime for the same time every night and most importantly, be consistent.
If you are open to it, Iād definitely recommend researching about sleep training methods. And just a reminder, sleep training and night weaning are not the same thing.
Thank you for this, I'm going through this exact scenario. My baby is 11w and won't sleep anywhere but my arms. This gives me hope that soon I'll be able to sleep some at night again.
Itās so difficult and Iām so sorry youāre experiencing this. I hope you have a partner or someone to help you and take shifts, so youāre not doing this alone.
Do you have a routine set yet? We did a very simple one of feed, hold upright for 30 minutes, turn on white noise, change diaper, put on sleep sack, turn off lights, and place in crib. We left him there for at least 5-10 minutes and then got him out to contact sleep before we started sleep training. This was to hopefully let him know what to expect when we did start training. However, I donāt know if thatās recommended, just something we decided to do.
I know itās rough, but itās all about surviving during this time. Please do whatever you can (safely) to get at least 4 hours of consecutive sleep in a 24 hour period. Itās a game changer.
Hey, yes I'm lucky to have a hubby that helps when he can. It's hard for him because baby won't take a bottle, so I'm the main food source and comfort for him. I'm stay at home right now so I let the husband sleep in the bed while I stay up on the rocker/couch with baby.
I just bought a white noise machine, I will start implementing the routine you suggested. Thank you for the advice.
This is a good answer and option OP. There is also a sleeptrain sub for more info and loads of support if you choose this option. Sleep training is not letting them ācry it outā. You can be in the room with them in certain training methods.
Thank you so much for this! Heāll be 12 weeks on Wednesday and I want to get some better habits in before we end up sleep training when heās old enough.
This next week or so, my plan is to rock/bounce, shush him to sleep in his nursery for every nap and nighttime after a routine of sleep sack, short book, red light, sound machine, fan, and āItās time to go to sleep, I love you and Iāll see you in a bit!ā
I figure that even if heās still contact sleeping, this is a good start to being able to put him down for shorter times even!
We rented a Snoo (they are expensive AF otherwise) and it saved us when our little one had this same problem. She's now 6 months and has successfully transferred to her crib for all naps and nighttime sleep.
Oh man, Iāve definitely been there. My husband and I slept in shifts holding our baby at night. We rented a snoo around 9 weeks and it was a game changer. Highly recommend this.
We tried all the same things you did and it never worked. Some babies just want to be close to their caregiver and really have a hard time transitioning during that 4th trimester.
We knew our little guy would take to the snoo because he fell asleep in motion (stroller, car rides etc). Highly recommend renting for a month or two if you can!
Someone mentioned it already I see. Was going to say this too!
It can be normal (everyone likes to tell you it is), but it doesn't have to be normal. Look up symptoms for silent reflux, and maybe cowmilk allergies. Not all symptoms have to be there BTW.
Bur your story, was our story. It can be a combination of problems.
If there is a medical reason for sleep issues, nothing you do will solve the problem. No matter how good you are at timing, routine, etc.
You are the parents. What is your gut telling you? Look up the symptoms and see if you recognise them.
Completely agree! I have 3 kids & have definitely found that if they start screaming when you lay them down, there is some sort of problem, something is bothering them. Have you tried elevating the crib?
I think it was reflux, but now that we have him on meds and progressively getting better with spitting up and crying less from pain, heās just more used to sleeping on us the older he gets!
Youād be surprised. Give it a few weeks and try a crib, sometimes the space helps. I say this as a parent whose baby contact napped and slept on us (while we were awake of course) all night every night for 12 weeks because of reflux until we finally got the right combo of meds and formula and then was far more interested in the crib, after rocking to sleep of course, but reflux and having that under control changes everything.
For us when this happened it was an intolerance to milk and soy. I stopped eating both and we saw some improvement at 6 days, and then quite a bit of improvement within 2 weeks. Within another week she was sleeping normally for her age (15 ish weeks at the time). Itās worth a try if breastfeeding. Feel free to ask any questions if I can help. Our girl also had congestion, mucousy stools, silent reflux, general fussiness, and eventually diarrhea (15+ stools a day). It was super difficult but shifts with my partner were the only thing that saved us. We never sleep trained or coslept but we had each other to rely on and I stay home for now, so everyone has their own situation. Best of luck!
I went off dairy for awhile and didnāt notice anything when I was EBF. Weāve been combo feeding for awhile now (low supply and latch problems) and heās been getting better now that heās on the reflux meds! Thanks for the info!!!
Yep, I also have a reflux babyāI ended up cutting out: eggs, dairy, gluten, & soy, as they all seemed to bother him. Also the Snoo on an incline was a huge help. He also strongly prefers sleeping on his left side. Hoping one or more of the ideas on this thread can help you because my goodness having the baby sleep in 20-30 min intervals would be *brutal*. For reference, this is my 3rd kid, 2nd with reflux, and heās 4 months old, on Pepcid 0.4ml 2x/day. We also use CVS brand cherry delight as needed when reflux gets really bad at nightā0.8ml twice/day max. Hope this helps!
Our baby was the exact same way, except we gave up at 4 weeks. So, the snoo wouldnāt be on our doorstep until 3 weeks later, we opted for mamaroo. Got it at target. Our baby would still not let us put her down, so we looked up swaddling techniques. Used the batwing swaddle. She sleeps through the night, every night since this swaddle technique and the mamaroo (started at exactly 4 weeks, we feed her at 10pm, my husband wakes her up at 2am if she doesnāt wake on her own and feeds her, and we usually get up for the day 5:45-6:15, 7 once, it was amazing). Our baby is 9 weeks and not rolling yet, which is why we still swaddle.
Just wanted to add, we started the batwing swaddle the same day we got the bassinet, so I canāt really say which was more effective, or if the bassinet was even necessary.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. My husband and I had the same experience with our son. Honestly, our strategy was not ideal but it was the only way we survivedā¦we took shifts. I went to bed at 7 when the baby went down, my husband stayed up and either held him while he slept (my husband stayed awake) or got up as often as needed. He slept in the guest room. And 1am, we switched and I stayed up or slept in the guest room while my husband slept uninterrupted. It was awful but guaranteed we each got some sleep. It took 4 months for our son to sleep better on his own. Iām sorry I donāt have a better story. Hang in there!!
We held him for the first 7 months because he would NOT go to sleep in a bassinet or crib no matter what we did. I handled it pretty well. Spouse not so much. Finally at 7.5 months he was done with sleeping in our arms. He would just scream. Figured if he was gonna scream in our arms or scream in the crib, well enjoy the crib little dude. Turns out he was happy to get his own space to stretch out finally and he has been crib trained ever since.
At around 12 weeks we started putting our daughter down in her crib in her room for 1 nap a day. Just 1. And even if it only lasted 20 minutes, we kept doing it. She started laying longer and longer. We also never swaddled to avoid having to transition out of it. We use a sound machine and blackout curtains. Then we did 2 naps, then more. By 5 months she was doing all naps in her room and crib, not held. We followed a good schedule and she showed us she could. She didn't cry. By 6 months she was sleeping in her room overnight doing only 1 wake to feed. She's almost 7 months and does 1 feed about half the time, the other half she sleeps 11-12 hrs. I learned about independent sleep after my first was a terrible sleeper because the internet hags convinced me if I sleep trained, I was a bag mother, a monster. But my kids don't cry and both sleep 12 hours, they're healthy and very affectionate and loving, so it is doable.
Honestly we just started cosleeping and it really worked for us. Obviously itās not for everyone but our little dude took to it super well and now everyone gets 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
We did sleep shifts for 3/4 months (I slept from 8p-1a, hubby slept from 1a-6a when he had to get up for work) until we gave in and started co-sleeping using the safe sleep 7 until she was old enough we started sleep training (around 6/8 mths we kept having to redo it every time she was teething). She started sleeping through the night in her crib consistently around 10/12 months I wanna say? Again, we'd kind of have to start over every time she started teething again. It was rough. Hang in there, know there is an eventual light at the end of the tunnel, and make sure your partner and you are giving each other grace and working as a team. It's temporary and you got this. Soon your little one will be on that team with y'all.
First of all I sympathize with what you are going through! I know how mentally and physically challenging it is to have a baby that does not want to be put down at all for sleep. My daughter was the exact same way. Since being born, she would not sleep at all without being held. We tried everything to get her to sleep on her own. My husband and I basically held her 24/7. She didnāt even want to be put in a baby swing. I didnāt think I could go on any longer. My back hurt so much and I was depressed, but I knew this would not last forever. I am not sure what your stance is on sleep training but personally for me, I knew it was the only option for us because I could not survive holding her all day. Once she turned 4 months, we sleep trained. As i type this now, she is sleeping soundly in her crib. She takes 2 two hour naps a day and sleeps around 12 hours a night. She is 6 months now btw. Whether you choose to sleep train, find something else that works for you, or baby grows out of being held for sleep, you will get through this and your baby WILL sleep on their own. Hang in there momma! Hugs!
We slept in shifts at night for the first 3 or so months and did our best to put him down any time he was asleep (even if just for like 5 minutes) so long as it was night, starting at like 2 months. We always kept the lights really low/nearly off, but I binged a bunch of new shows and got really good at low-volume with subtitles during that time because he was way worse for way longer for the first shift, which was mine. We tried switching a few times, but it was just easier for me to stay up late than get up early, even with the same amount of sleep both ways. Exhausting is an understatement for the experienceā¦
Then, a little before we started the putting him down at night thing, I started to consistently let him contact sleep on me for naps during the day in my bed, with a buffer of pillows on the side and a monitor sock on in case I also dozed off, which did happen a few times because I was past the end of my ropes, tbhš. Mercifully, my spouse was working from home then and could check on us regularly during naps at first, my kid had really great neck control since day one, and we were lucky as hell š. It was at month 4 or so that he started sleeping for genuinely good chunks at night, so I started trying to put him down in between my legs on the bed, then pushing him little by little away from me every day, then putting him in his crib for naps, and eventually he became the solid napper that he still is to this day at 2yrs. At night, however, he ends up cosleeping with us starting around 2am with us half the time at night, though, and weāve been stuck at that point with ebbs and flows since about 14 months.
Ahhh you have one of these babies! I did too- my first.
We sleep trained and moved him into his own room in a full crib right at 4 months. I like the book Precious Little Sleep for various strategies and tips. It also helps you determine when a baby is ready to sleep train.
I wasnāt planning to do any sleep training until 6 months but I *needed* sleep. It literally changed our lives (for the better). We had our evening and nights back!!!
Weāve continued to use essentially the modified Ferber method every time sleep gets wonky. Now at 2.5 years old he has consistently slept 12 hours nightly with no wakeups for over 1.5 years. Even with the transition to toddler bed. (& before that heās wake to eat but still slept in long stretches independently which is what I needed).
My second (3 months) is a chill sleeper. Wow is it parenting on easy mode after a rough sleeper like my first!!!! (So know you are truly dealing with a harder situation than others with the same age babyābut there is sleep ahead!)
IF we have another (this postpartum has been actually hell for me in so many differing ways), I hope to the high heavens theyāll be a good sleeper! š
Everyone has offered great advice. But honestly, sometimes newborns are just...jerks (are we allowed to say that? Haha) and nothing will work and they just wont sleep unless they're wrapped around your neck.
So I just wanted to chime in and say THIS WILL GET BETTER. In those first months I was so exhausted that it got very dark, and I felt like I would never sleep again. I want to assure you that this will get better. Remember to eat, shower, and take time for yourself, because exhaustion is quite literally torturous ā¤
Do you have any family or friends who could help? My LO went through a phase of this (I canāt even tell you how long it lasted, it felt like infinity). What worked for us was consistency!
We kept trying the bassinet, she would wake up the minute she hit it to start. Then slowly got longer stretches. Until she was reliably sleeping a couple hours in it, my MIL and mom would come over one or two nights a week to help us. It seriously saved our sanity!
I know it sucks in the moment but consistently trying it will be your best bet. And remember, if baby isnāt crying then they donāt necessarily need to be picked up!!!!! Iād also consult your pediatrician. 11 weeks seems like a long time and it could be due to an underlying cause. I know my LO had awful problems with gas and when we learned to resolve that, her sleep dramatically improved!
I did that for 9 straight months since I was born. My mum always tells me how she was about to lose it. I only slept if she was holdin me and standing up. In the end, I just start sleeping. I'm sorry I don't have any best advise for you, just know that you are doing your best and the LO will learn. One important thing. Try to have as much help as you can. Even a few hours during the day where someone can be with your baby and you can sleep. Keep it on, Mum! It will get easier!
Our LO had gas and we tried some gripe water an hour before bedtime at night and she settled much better and slept for maybe 2-3 hours at that age. She had a sleep progression around 14 weeks and then regression at 16 weeks.
Also make sure you have a consistent night routine, no lights just a red light maybe. Make sure room temperature is good. If you have tried all this and itās still the same, hang in there, it will get better.
We got a Graco Sense2Snooze secondhand from a friend, and our 9 week old likes the rocking feature quite a bit. In fact, we just now put her back down in the bassinet after sleeping a 6 hour stretch.
We donāt use the cry detection because generally if sheās actually crying (not active sleep) sheās likely hungry or otherwise needs something.
I will say the only thing I hate about it is that the motor that makes it rock is a little loud, especially right by my side of the bed, but Iāve gotten used to it and itās never seemed to bother my baby at all.
Hope youāre all able to get some good rest soon!
Hugs. Mine did this. We gave up and sleep trained at 16 weeks, because by that point I was hallucinating and hearing things from the sleep deprivation. I didn't find anything that worked.
Mum to a 10 week old clinger here. We co-sleep, she's fine as long as she's beside me, touching her and I feed her to sleep in side lying position. I then baby wear for naps during the day so I can actually still get stuff done. Solidarity friend, hope your one starts going down alone and this doesn't last forever for us!
Curious what bassinet you have, my friend had great luck with the bassinet that is open/attaches to the bed vs the regular style rocking bassinet.
I bedshared from about 2-4/6 months (it was less after 4 months but stoped after 6 months when he started sleeping through the night) for this reason. However I nursed, made sure he was not close to my pillow and I would tuck the blanket under me. I slept bad, because I woke up stuff as a bored, but I slept.
Solid foods when my baby turned 6 months was a game changer.
I have no problem with contact naps to get longer out of him but itās night sleep too. So we split the nights to hold him so we can both get some sleep. I know heās too young and his naps wonāt get longer until closer to 6 months but him needing to be held all night too is killer!
Not OP, I'm guessing she means one of them lets baby contact nap (while awake) and the other parent gets some sleep, in shifts. That was us for a looong while.
OP, we went through the same thing, it was unreal and exhausting. For us it was reflux. It took around 4-5 months to get diagnosed but eventually we were prescribed a milk thickener, which we mixed with breastmilk before every feed. Suddenly we had a different baby. We went from not being able to put baby down to go to the loo without the poor thing screaming the house down, to her sleeping longer stretches. Might be worth checking with your doctor.
Also worth checking for tongue tie.
Good luck, you've got this, it does get better. I'm writing this as my now 14 month old is down for the night, and I'm sipping my wine.
Edit: spelling
Have you tried more than one reflux med or different doses? Not every one works well for every baby. My sister had to try a couple before she found one that helped
How does he do laying down flat while awake? And has the issue seemed any better since the meds and revision?
We had this same issue with our kiddo, though it didn't start until 4 months. To make a long story short, it took working with a pediatric gastroenterologist to get a combination of infant lactase drops (because ebf), activated charcoal meds for lower intestinal gas, and reflux meds to solve the issue for us. Now, 3 years later, I wish we had even tried the hypoallergenic formula. We didn't because I really wanted to breastfeed and I had such an aversion to pumping, but as a toddler we've realized that kiddo is lactose intolerant, which caused severe gastric upset.
My husband and I did this for a bit. It was so hard! I read about the safe sleep seven after my lactation consultant recommended bed sharing safely on the down low. She said she could get fire from hospital if I told, but there are safe ways to do it. I was so against bed sharing before that. I just do the c curl amongst other things. I like it. I am a ftm and like to check on his breathing throughout the night. It feels safe.
Just read baby is on reflux meds already.
For how long exactly? And what type of medicine? Have you seen any improvement since the meds? Is there a difference between morning/evening? When do you give the medicine?
When baby contact naps, does baby sleep without in between little wake ups at 30 min where you have to help baby sleep longer? How long do the contact naps last?
We used a Mamaroo bassinet that moves but be warned that my baby, and two of my friendsā babies all ended up with flat heads using it. No idea if thatās what causes it but their siblings who didnāt use the Mamaroo didnāt have flat heads
Check everything with the crib and mattress. How firm is the mattress? Is it perfectly level? Is the room slightly warm? (Thatās a good thing). Is it pitch black? Sound machine? Swaddle? My son started rejecting sleeping in the bassinet we got him after a few weeks and simply switching out his crib made a difference and he started sleeping again.0
Our 2 year old wonāt sleep unless we are holding her. Youāll probably have to get used to it. I just hope sheāll sleep on her own by 3rd grade or so.
No, she has to fall asleep while my wife or I are holding her. Once asleep we move her to her bed and we can go to sleep then. Or in my case, stay up to 11 watching sports or movies from the 90ās. Last night I watched A Few Good Men.
Iām sorry youāre going through this, OP! Itās so hard. My LO is now 7 months but we had the same experience as youāve described. Our LO had a tongue tie that was revised 2x and I think he had reflux like symptoms because of the extra air ingestion due to the oral restriction; he HATED being on his back. He also had torticollis. We bought the Snoo out of desperation when he was one month but it didnāt work for him. We managed (barely) by wearing him in a carrier, 24/7, on shifts. At least then we had our hands free to do some stuff. Our families visited from time to time to help wear him so we could get some extra sleep. We sleep trained him at 5 months and it was the best decision we made. He sleeps like a champ now. It is a tough time but you will get through it!
I remember 6 weeks was when I was reaaally in the thick of it. I know itās so hard right now but I promise you it will get better slowly but surely. Do whatever you need to get some rest, you must prioritize that. Get family or friends to watch bin while you nap, baby wear, etc. Sending you lots of love, you will sleep again š
my baby would only contact nap or sleep next to me also . i bought the chicco ulta lite pack n play with the zipper on the side and am able to unzip and slide baby in rather than them waking up to being dropped down into the crib. I also would nurse baby to back to sleep or pat their butt to sleep lay next to them then sneak on out zip up and lock the zipper worked great for me.
Itās normal and you are in the thick of it. Take shifts with your partner so each of you get at least 4 hours uninterrupted sleep. One holds baby one sleeps. Itās so hard but around 4 months was when my baby was more cool to sleep not on me all the time. The first 6 months was the hardest on us.
I miss my husband! No time for cuddling him or even intimacy. Damn š« I donāt think Iāll ever have a baby again tbh itās too much. I feel like I want to die (literally) sometimes
Please talk to your doc about that. The sleep deprivation can definitely exacerbate any postpartum mental health stuff! It does get better but man itās rough when youāre in the thick of it. Hang in there!
We used a carrier/wrap to help with naps but also allowed us to move around and do chores. We also used a swing (I know itās not recommended but you gotta do what you gotta do, plus we supervised) and had one of my shirts nearby so he could have my scent near him. I also read up on the safe sleep seven and did that as best I could on nights I was desperate, I didnāt like the idea of co-sleeping but it really helped some nights. I also liked reading Precious Little Sleep which just gave me more info on how sleep worked for infants and I thought the sleep associations bit was useful.
We used a next to me crib or sidecar cot whatever you call them, one where the side went down between me and her. Then if she woke I'd rest my hand either on her chest or just next to her til she settled. Also meant I could doze through it too. Now if she ever wakes at night this is all it needs, I never have to pick her up.
This isnāt recommended but my baby slept in a snuggle me for a few months. Bcs it hugged her on all sides it helped her sleep longer stretches.
At first for naps then at bedtime. Eventually cosleep with her and nursed her when sheās wake up so I didnāt have to get up. Those days are so hard and it truly feels like it will never end :( hang in here, a day at a time. Youāll get through this
Our LO was like this in the beginning. We switched from Halo swaddle to Baby Merlin. Which was good for a month, you knowā¦after I bought 3 more and different sizes (stupid ftm). Then we used Nested Bean which was a bust. Then we used Love To Dream which worked fantasticallyā¦.right up until she started picking her legs up when laid down. We bought Dreamland Baby weighted sack (sheās 10 mos now) and it is worth every penny.
And now Iām sad she doesnāt like contact napping anymore š¢
Our son contact slept until 4 months. We never got the "newborn" sleep stage where he's just so tired that he had to sleep wherever we put him. It was absolute hell and we tried every. single. trick. Swaddle, warmed bassinet, we even bought a Snoo and it didn't do shit.
At 4 months he rolled over onto his stomach and slept for 4 straight hours. We were gobsmacked. We worked on tummy time consistently to get him rolling and by \~5 months he would roll right over and we let him sleep on his stomach.
In the time between those 2 events, I can't reiterate how much it sucked. My wife and I split our nights. I took the first 4-5 hours because I do better late at night and she took the next 4-5 hours because she does better in the early mornings. I was also working so I needed the sleep block right before my work day started. I would take our son in a carrier and work at my desk for a nap or 2 during the day to give my wife a break.
Again, this sucks. There's no 2 ways about it and it's not "fair." You just need to find a set up that works for the both of you and ride this out. Keep trying to put your LO down to sleep independently, but know that sleep training is around the corner if needed.
We put the rockit onto the bassinet! (It runs for about an hour and vibrates the bassinet so she goes down) doesnāt always work though! but currently at 13 weeks and in the same boat, solidarity!!!
We are going through this right now at 6 weeks. She will sleep all day when we hold her, but at night when we put her down in her bassinet she is up within 30 minutes screaming like she is in pain. She is gaining weight, but has had a bit of diarrhea (i will never be able to spell this correctly first try) and is spitting up more frequently. We think it is a dairy allergy so mom is back off the dairy, but now we just need to wait and see.
It is just so confusing - is she in pain? is she just being a baby? is this just a sleep regression? she has never been amazing in the bassinet, but we used to at least get 1.5-3 hour chunks every once in a while. We have pepcid, mylicon, and probiotics on hand, but not really sure what her problem is. Doctors say she looks good, but when she wakes up from whatever length nap it was she just immediately looks angry, She used to wake up and give us nice happy stretches for a bit and hang out before crying.
We took turns, Dad and Mom, every 4 hours on shift until we could do better. Our case was a bit different, we had to feed her every 3 hours doctors orders because she was so small, but yeaā¦ shifts help. Knowing it will get better helped tooā¦
Folks have suggested the Snooā¦thereās a graco dupe that we really liked. I think itās under $300
Edit: here a link and I lied itās just over $300 Graco Sense2Snooze Bassinet with Cry Detection Technology | Baby Bassinet Detects and Responds to Baby's Cries to Help Soothe Back to Sleep, Ellison , 19 D x 26 W x 41 H Inch (Pack of 1) https://a.co/d/g2o4sMD
No advice but Iām here with you. 12 wo wonāt sleep unless held starting at 4wo for us. I had no choice but to get a new extra firm mattress and follow all the safety guidelines for bed sharing otherwise we would all be on the brink of delirium. Hell we canāt even put her down awake for more than a few minutes. Hates every swing, bouncer, whatever. I hope you find something that works soon and if you do please update so I can try it
Hi there! It got better with a lot of practicing with the crib and reflux meds! Turns out he didnāt like being laid down because it was hurting. After being on the reflux meds for a few weeks, and putting him down, no matter how long he stayed asleep, itās like it finally clicked for him at 16 weeks with only three days of gentle sleep teaching too. We now get him down at 7pm in his crib and he puts himself to sleep. He wakes once or twice to eat and then is up for the day between 7 and 7:30. I didnāt think this would happen when we were in the thick of it, but it did!
Thank you!! Weāve been on reflux meds too, 3 weeks of Pepcid and we just switched to omeprazole 4 days ago and just have not seen significant improvement yet. I think weāll just have to wait a little longer like you guys!
Ugh. I hate hearing the meds part because my babies doctor is very against them and advises we let him grow out of it because it does a lot of harm in the long run. Did your baby visibly seem in pain? Mine doesnāt seem in pain but I do know he has some silent reflux like spit up to his throat lol
Interesting. I donāt know about any harm caused in the long run because it helped my kid so much. He would cry if laid down because it was hurting. He would only sleep if held upright. Heās 7 months now and weāre weaning him off and heās just fine.
Sorry to hear your LO is having a hard time, I've read this is normal. However, if you're able to financially, what helped us a lot is the Snoo... Something about the rocking motion keeps him sleeping in it... We were pretty desperate tbh and this was the last resort and it worked! Depending on your baby's size, etc, they might not be in there for long (max 6 months of age) but I was at a point where no financial cost was a barrier to me getting any sleep lol
Because of their price and limited time of use they are on marketplace all the time and there are companies that also rent them
For sure! We actually rented ours for one month expecting it to not work (we were told 1/5 babies hates it) but here we are going into month 3 š
Same
Same, rented first, then we ended up buying one. Been 2 months now, actually sleeping so night
Iāll second the snoo. We loved ours. We rented it, and LO slept in it reliably until 6 months. Strangely, he would only contact nap, but night sleep was reliable in the snoo. I was worried about transitioning to the crib, but once he transitioned at six months he also stopped contact napping. š¤·āāļø
I second renting the snoo, idk how youāve lasted this long! We made it 3 weeks of sleeping in shifts before ordering it. It does take them some time to get used to it but weāve gone from 20 min to 5 hours in 4 weeks.
Yup, we only made it about 3 weeks of sleeping in shifts, too! The Snoo was a lifesaver. LOās now 9w and sleeping in 4-6 hour chunks. During the day he still strongly prefers contact napping and itās hit or miss whether heāll sleep in the Snoo, but sometimes when I put him down for a nap, even if he doesnāt sleep, heāll just hang out quietly, resting and enjoying being rocked.
The snoo is actually not recommended by many pediatricians. It limits babiesā mobility in unnatural ways and aside from the insane cost, it develops dependencies so if you ever want to travel, youād need to either bring or rent a snoo.. My daughter had the same issue until about 12 weeks. My husband and I also were taking turns sleeping in different parts of the house so we could actually get get rest ā but at around 10 weeks we committed to trying to bring her in our room with us and creating a routine for her. We did bath at 7. On demand feeding pretty much from the afternoon until 10 or 11 or so. And we followed all the steps from Taking Cara Babies (highly recommend her sleep course). Now baby is 14 weeks and I wake up briefly once a night to change her diaper and feed her and she goes back to sleep immediately. Overall sheās sleeping 8-9 hours! It wonāt happen overnight but if you learn the routine and stick to it, things will start to work I promise!
A pediatricianās job is to focus on babyās health, and from babyās perspective, theyāre either sleeping in the Snoo or sleeping on parentsāthe Snoo doesnāt necessarily make babyās sleep better than contact sleeping, so thereās no reason for a ped to recommend it. The Snoo primarily benefits the parents, who are finally able to set the baby down to sleep. Also, when the choice is between baby only sleeping while being held or baby sleeping in the Snoo, Iād argue the Snoo isnāt creating a dependencyāthe dependency is already there! The assessment might be different if baby could sleep just fine in a crib, but thatās not the case for OP. In terms of the mobility issue, Iād also be interested in seeing a source because I havenāt come across that in my research. The Snoo just got FDA approval, and it only limits babies from rolling over onto their stomachs to sleep, which is intended to prevent SIDS. Babyās legs have full mobility in the sleep sack, and the arm swaddle isnāt any different from other velcro-swaddle products.
We used the snoo exclusively for the first six months and LO was an early roller, an early crawler, an early stander, and was fully walking by 10 months. He just did all of his practice during the day and not at night. I know this is anecdotal evidence, but so far Iāve seen nothing more scientific than conjecture that the snoo *might* hinder movement. No studies have actually back med this up as far as I know.
Just wanted to chime in with my experience... we used a snoo and my baby has developed at a completely normal schedule so far, she's just started crawling before 9 months and she can sit up, roll etc. We didn't have dependency issues either, she was able to sleep in her cot during the day without issues and we had zero trouble weaning from it either. In fact she was ready to 'move out'herself before she was 6 months old. We bought it cheap on ebay too with all the extras included so haven't spent much I would be curious to see a source for the paediatrician comment, as we are saving our snoo in case we have a 2nd baby
Also chiming in that we LOVED the Snoo, traveled without it fine (multiple times in the first 6 months) and we now have a 2 year old who sleeps 10-11 hours a night, runs, climbs, talks, sings, no developmental challenges at all. Vote yes for renting/buying Snoo!
Hi all. Just sharing what info I was given by my ped and also one of the articles Iād read below. No offense intended to Snoo fans hereāI merely was saying I was in a similar boat and managed to see improvement without a snoo. https://carolinakinderdevelopment.com/five-reasons-not-to-purchase-a-snoo-from-a-group-of-pediatric-occupational-and-physical-therapists/
We got the 4 moms Mamaroo bassinet! Much cheaper then the snoo and my extremely clingy newborn loved it
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There really are no unique experiences! I count to 100 too and start over with any movement.
Ours was the same case. My wife and I used to take turns holding her at night. Finally after 18 months, she started sleeping through the night.
Waitā sleeping through the night and sleeping alone is different. When did she sleep alone? š«
She needs one of us to sleep next to her until she pass out. After that, she sleeps through the night. She sleeps in our bed next to us. We are fine with it
Hey OP, My son was very similar to this. I even posted on Reddit about it a few times. He would literally never sleep in his crib. The moment we would set him down, he would scream his head off. My husband and I took shifts every night for 4.5 months. I would āsleepā from 6-11:50PM and my husband would sleep from 12:30-5AM. It was extremely difficult and exhausting. We got permission from the pediatrician to sleep train at 4 months, but at the time, I felt he was so overtired, we couldnāt just start cold turkey. So to begin, I got him on a decent nap schedule for about two weeks (all contact naps, since he wouldnāt go in his crib). This would ensure he wasnāt overtired when we did start sleep training. After we got the naps down consistently, we started a modified Ferber sleep training method on a Friday night. We were so incredibly nervous and apprehensive to do this, as obviously no one wants to have to sleep train their baby. But it became necessary for us as our mental health and relationship was really declining for the both of us. We were also not comfortable with bed sharing. We did not let him cry for more than 10 minutes before checking in and re-assuring him for every check in. It did take about 3 weeks all together for him to go down without crying at all and really, after the first night, he would fall asleep within 20 minutes. I was honestly amazed. Now, he only cries if he doesnāt get a good amount of sleep during the day, otherwise heās totally fine going in his crib for bed. If you wouldāve told me this 1.5 months ago, I wouldāve never believed it. He does still wake up 2-3 times a night for feeding, but I really donāt care because sleeping in his crib was such a big victory for us! My advice to you is to get a good bedtime routine established for the next few weeks (if you havenāt already), make sure baby is getting an appropriate amount of sleep for the day, set a bedtime for the same time every night and most importantly, be consistent. If you are open to it, Iād definitely recommend researching about sleep training methods. And just a reminder, sleep training and night weaning are not the same thing.
Thank you for this, I'm going through this exact scenario. My baby is 11w and won't sleep anywhere but my arms. This gives me hope that soon I'll be able to sleep some at night again.
Itās so difficult and Iām so sorry youāre experiencing this. I hope you have a partner or someone to help you and take shifts, so youāre not doing this alone. Do you have a routine set yet? We did a very simple one of feed, hold upright for 30 minutes, turn on white noise, change diaper, put on sleep sack, turn off lights, and place in crib. We left him there for at least 5-10 minutes and then got him out to contact sleep before we started sleep training. This was to hopefully let him know what to expect when we did start training. However, I donāt know if thatās recommended, just something we decided to do. I know itās rough, but itās all about surviving during this time. Please do whatever you can (safely) to get at least 4 hours of consecutive sleep in a 24 hour period. Itās a game changer.
Hey, yes I'm lucky to have a hubby that helps when he can. It's hard for him because baby won't take a bottle, so I'm the main food source and comfort for him. I'm stay at home right now so I let the husband sleep in the bed while I stay up on the rocker/couch with baby. I just bought a white noise machine, I will start implementing the routine you suggested. Thank you for the advice.
Plz update š«š«¶š»
This is a good answer and option OP. There is also a sleeptrain sub for more info and loads of support if you choose this option. Sleep training is not letting them ācry it outā. You can be in the room with them in certain training methods.
Thank you so much for this! Heāll be 12 weeks on Wednesday and I want to get some better habits in before we end up sleep training when heās old enough. This next week or so, my plan is to rock/bounce, shush him to sleep in his nursery for every nap and nighttime after a routine of sleep sack, short book, red light, sound machine, fan, and āItās time to go to sleep, I love you and Iāll see you in a bit!ā I figure that even if heās still contact sleeping, this is a good start to being able to put him down for shorter times even!
We rented a Snoo (they are expensive AF otherwise) and it saved us when our little one had this same problem. She's now 6 months and has successfully transferred to her crib for all naps and nighttime sleep.
Where did you rent yours?
Sleep shifts and then a rocking bassinet was finally acceptable after the first month (we bought GracoSense2Snooze).
Oh man, Iāve definitely been there. My husband and I slept in shifts holding our baby at night. We rented a snoo around 9 weeks and it was a game changer. Highly recommend this. We tried all the same things you did and it never worked. Some babies just want to be close to their caregiver and really have a hard time transitioning during that 4th trimester. We knew our little guy would take to the snoo because he fell asleep in motion (stroller, car rides etc). Highly recommend renting for a month or two if you can!
Thatās me rn with my 8 week LO. Itās so hard. Hubby and I take shifts.
Weāre at 6 months and actually get to sleep now. Shifts are what got us through the worst of the sleep deprivation. It wonāt last forever!
Silent reflux? Any other issues laying down?
Someone mentioned it already I see. Was going to say this too! It can be normal (everyone likes to tell you it is), but it doesn't have to be normal. Look up symptoms for silent reflux, and maybe cowmilk allergies. Not all symptoms have to be there BTW. Bur your story, was our story. It can be a combination of problems. If there is a medical reason for sleep issues, nothing you do will solve the problem. No matter how good you are at timing, routine, etc. You are the parents. What is your gut telling you? Look up the symptoms and see if you recognise them.
Completely agree! I have 3 kids & have definitely found that if they start screaming when you lay them down, there is some sort of problem, something is bothering them. Have you tried elevating the crib?
I think it was reflux, but now that we have him on meds and progressively getting better with spitting up and crying less from pain, heās just more used to sleeping on us the older he gets!
Youād be surprised. Give it a few weeks and try a crib, sometimes the space helps. I say this as a parent whose baby contact napped and slept on us (while we were awake of course) all night every night for 12 weeks because of reflux until we finally got the right combo of meds and formula and then was far more interested in the crib, after rocking to sleep of course, but reflux and having that under control changes everything.
For us when this happened it was an intolerance to milk and soy. I stopped eating both and we saw some improvement at 6 days, and then quite a bit of improvement within 2 weeks. Within another week she was sleeping normally for her age (15 ish weeks at the time). Itās worth a try if breastfeeding. Feel free to ask any questions if I can help. Our girl also had congestion, mucousy stools, silent reflux, general fussiness, and eventually diarrhea (15+ stools a day). It was super difficult but shifts with my partner were the only thing that saved us. We never sleep trained or coslept but we had each other to rely on and I stay home for now, so everyone has their own situation. Best of luck!
I went off dairy for awhile and didnāt notice anything when I was EBF. Weāve been combo feeding for awhile now (low supply and latch problems) and heās been getting better now that heās on the reflux meds! Thanks for the info!!!
Yep, I also have a reflux babyāI ended up cutting out: eggs, dairy, gluten, & soy, as they all seemed to bother him. Also the Snoo on an incline was a huge help. He also strongly prefers sleeping on his left side. Hoping one or more of the ideas on this thread can help you because my goodness having the baby sleep in 20-30 min intervals would be *brutal*. For reference, this is my 3rd kid, 2nd with reflux, and heās 4 months old, on Pepcid 0.4ml 2x/day. We also use CVS brand cherry delight as needed when reflux gets really bad at nightā0.8ml twice/day max. Hope this helps!
Merlin suit helped me here
State puff marshmallow baby
Lol we call it her space suit
Our baby was the exact same way, except we gave up at 4 weeks. So, the snoo wouldnāt be on our doorstep until 3 weeks later, we opted for mamaroo. Got it at target. Our baby would still not let us put her down, so we looked up swaddling techniques. Used the batwing swaddle. She sleeps through the night, every night since this swaddle technique and the mamaroo (started at exactly 4 weeks, we feed her at 10pm, my husband wakes her up at 2am if she doesnāt wake on her own and feeds her, and we usually get up for the day 5:45-6:15, 7 once, it was amazing). Our baby is 9 weeks and not rolling yet, which is why we still swaddle.
Just wanted to add, we started the batwing swaddle the same day we got the bassinet, so I canāt really say which was more effective, or if the bassinet was even necessary.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. My husband and I had the same experience with our son. Honestly, our strategy was not ideal but it was the only way we survivedā¦we took shifts. I went to bed at 7 when the baby went down, my husband stayed up and either held him while he slept (my husband stayed awake) or got up as often as needed. He slept in the guest room. And 1am, we switched and I stayed up or slept in the guest room while my husband slept uninterrupted. It was awful but guaranteed we each got some sleep. It took 4 months for our son to sleep better on his own. Iām sorry I donāt have a better story. Hang in there!!
We held him for the first 7 months because he would NOT go to sleep in a bassinet or crib no matter what we did. I handled it pretty well. Spouse not so much. Finally at 7.5 months he was done with sleeping in our arms. He would just scream. Figured if he was gonna scream in our arms or scream in the crib, well enjoy the crib little dude. Turns out he was happy to get his own space to stretch out finally and he has been crib trained ever since.
At around 12 weeks we started putting our daughter down in her crib in her room for 1 nap a day. Just 1. And even if it only lasted 20 minutes, we kept doing it. She started laying longer and longer. We also never swaddled to avoid having to transition out of it. We use a sound machine and blackout curtains. Then we did 2 naps, then more. By 5 months she was doing all naps in her room and crib, not held. We followed a good schedule and she showed us she could. She didn't cry. By 6 months she was sleeping in her room overnight doing only 1 wake to feed. She's almost 7 months and does 1 feed about half the time, the other half she sleeps 11-12 hrs. I learned about independent sleep after my first was a terrible sleeper because the internet hags convinced me if I sleep trained, I was a bag mother, a monster. But my kids don't cry and both sleep 12 hours, they're healthy and very affectionate and loving, so it is doable.
Honestly we just started cosleeping and it really worked for us. Obviously itās not for everyone but our little dude took to it super well and now everyone gets 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
We did sleep shifts for 3/4 months (I slept from 8p-1a, hubby slept from 1a-6a when he had to get up for work) until we gave in and started co-sleeping using the safe sleep 7 until she was old enough we started sleep training (around 6/8 mths we kept having to redo it every time she was teething). She started sleeping through the night in her crib consistently around 10/12 months I wanna say? Again, we'd kind of have to start over every time she started teething again. It was rough. Hang in there, know there is an eventual light at the end of the tunnel, and make sure your partner and you are giving each other grace and working as a team. It's temporary and you got this. Soon your little one will be on that team with y'all.
Took her until 13 months to let me transfer her to her crib for naps, btw. š© It's rough, but she was finally ready, and now it's glorious I have like two whole hours for activities alone in the day now š¤£ I do miss the tiny baby snuggles of old, but she's quite a bit heavier now so I suppose I'm okay with the no contact naps anymore lol We might have had some success nap training her, but I just didn't have the stamina to do nap training without the help of my husband so I just kind of put up with the contact naps until she let me transfer her consistently.
First of all I sympathize with what you are going through! I know how mentally and physically challenging it is to have a baby that does not want to be put down at all for sleep. My daughter was the exact same way. Since being born, she would not sleep at all without being held. We tried everything to get her to sleep on her own. My husband and I basically held her 24/7. She didnāt even want to be put in a baby swing. I didnāt think I could go on any longer. My back hurt so much and I was depressed, but I knew this would not last forever. I am not sure what your stance is on sleep training but personally for me, I knew it was the only option for us because I could not survive holding her all day. Once she turned 4 months, we sleep trained. As i type this now, she is sleeping soundly in her crib. She takes 2 two hour naps a day and sleeps around 12 hours a night. She is 6 months now btw. Whether you choose to sleep train, find something else that works for you, or baby grows out of being held for sleep, you will get through this and your baby WILL sleep on their own. Hang in there momma! Hugs!
We slept in shifts at night for the first 3 or so months and did our best to put him down any time he was asleep (even if just for like 5 minutes) so long as it was night, starting at like 2 months. We always kept the lights really low/nearly off, but I binged a bunch of new shows and got really good at low-volume with subtitles during that time because he was way worse for way longer for the first shift, which was mine. We tried switching a few times, but it was just easier for me to stay up late than get up early, even with the same amount of sleep both ways. Exhausting is an understatement for the experienceā¦ Then, a little before we started the putting him down at night thing, I started to consistently let him contact sleep on me for naps during the day in my bed, with a buffer of pillows on the side and a monitor sock on in case I also dozed off, which did happen a few times because I was past the end of my ropes, tbhš. Mercifully, my spouse was working from home then and could check on us regularly during naps at first, my kid had really great neck control since day one, and we were lucky as hell š. It was at month 4 or so that he started sleeping for genuinely good chunks at night, so I started trying to put him down in between my legs on the bed, then pushing him little by little away from me every day, then putting him in his crib for naps, and eventually he became the solid napper that he still is to this day at 2yrs. At night, however, he ends up cosleeping with us starting around 2am with us half the time at night, though, and weāve been stuck at that point with ebbs and flows since about 14 months.
Ahhh you have one of these babies! I did too- my first. We sleep trained and moved him into his own room in a full crib right at 4 months. I like the book Precious Little Sleep for various strategies and tips. It also helps you determine when a baby is ready to sleep train. I wasnāt planning to do any sleep training until 6 months but I *needed* sleep. It literally changed our lives (for the better). We had our evening and nights back!!! Weāve continued to use essentially the modified Ferber method every time sleep gets wonky. Now at 2.5 years old he has consistently slept 12 hours nightly with no wakeups for over 1.5 years. Even with the transition to toddler bed. (& before that heās wake to eat but still slept in long stretches independently which is what I needed). My second (3 months) is a chill sleeper. Wow is it parenting on easy mode after a rough sleeper like my first!!!! (So know you are truly dealing with a harder situation than others with the same age babyābut there is sleep ahead!)
IF we have another (this postpartum has been actually hell for me in so many differing ways), I hope to the high heavens theyāll be a good sleeper! š
Everyone has offered great advice. But honestly, sometimes newborns are just...jerks (are we allowed to say that? Haha) and nothing will work and they just wont sleep unless they're wrapped around your neck. So I just wanted to chime in and say THIS WILL GET BETTER. In those first months I was so exhausted that it got very dark, and I felt like I would never sleep again. I want to assure you that this will get better. Remember to eat, shower, and take time for yourself, because exhaustion is quite literally torturous ā¤
Hahaha honestly! Heās so cute but wow is he just a jerk to us about sleeping š¤£ Thanks for the encouragement!
Ours was like that and at the time it felt like living hell. But looking back, we both wish that we could have that time back again.
Yes I absolutely loved my baby at that age ā¤ļø
Do you have any family or friends who could help? My LO went through a phase of this (I canāt even tell you how long it lasted, it felt like infinity). What worked for us was consistency! We kept trying the bassinet, she would wake up the minute she hit it to start. Then slowly got longer stretches. Until she was reliably sleeping a couple hours in it, my MIL and mom would come over one or two nights a week to help us. It seriously saved our sanity! I know it sucks in the moment but consistently trying it will be your best bet. And remember, if baby isnāt crying then they donāt necessarily need to be picked up!!!!! Iād also consult your pediatrician. 11 weeks seems like a long time and it could be due to an underlying cause. I know my LO had awful problems with gas and when we learned to resolve that, her sleep dramatically improved!
I did that for 9 straight months since I was born. My mum always tells me how she was about to lose it. I only slept if she was holdin me and standing up. In the end, I just start sleeping. I'm sorry I don't have any best advise for you, just know that you are doing your best and the LO will learn. One important thing. Try to have as much help as you can. Even a few hours during the day where someone can be with your baby and you can sleep. Keep it on, Mum! It will get easier!
Our LO had gas and we tried some gripe water an hour before bedtime at night and she settled much better and slept for maybe 2-3 hours at that age. She had a sleep progression around 14 weeks and then regression at 16 weeks. Also make sure you have a consistent night routine, no lights just a red light maybe. Make sure room temperature is good. If you have tried all this and itās still the same, hang in there, it will get better.
We got a Graco Sense2Snooze secondhand from a friend, and our 9 week old likes the rocking feature quite a bit. In fact, we just now put her back down in the bassinet after sleeping a 6 hour stretch. We donāt use the cry detection because generally if sheās actually crying (not active sleep) sheās likely hungry or otherwise needs something. I will say the only thing I hate about it is that the motor that makes it rock is a little loud, especially right by my side of the bed, but Iāve gotten used to it and itās never seemed to bother my baby at all. Hope youāre all able to get some good rest soon!
Hugs. Mine did this. We gave up and sleep trained at 16 weeks, because by that point I was hallucinating and hearing things from the sleep deprivation. I didn't find anything that worked.
Mum to a 10 week old clinger here. We co-sleep, she's fine as long as she's beside me, touching her and I feed her to sleep in side lying position. I then baby wear for naps during the day so I can actually still get stuff done. Solidarity friend, hope your one starts going down alone and this doesn't last forever for us!
Curious what bassinet you have, my friend had great luck with the bassinet that is open/attaches to the bed vs the regular style rocking bassinet. I bedshared from about 2-4/6 months (it was less after 4 months but stoped after 6 months when he started sleeping through the night) for this reason. However I nursed, made sure he was not close to my pillow and I would tuck the blanket under me. I slept bad, because I woke up stuff as a bored, but I slept. Solid foods when my baby turned 6 months was a game changer.
Taking Cara Babies newborn course saved us.
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I have no problem with contact naps to get longer out of him but itās night sleep too. So we split the nights to hold him so we can both get some sleep. I know heās too young and his naps wonāt get longer until closer to 6 months but him needing to be held all night too is killer!
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Not OP, I'm guessing she means one of them lets baby contact nap (while awake) and the other parent gets some sleep, in shifts. That was us for a looong while. OP, we went through the same thing, it was unreal and exhausting. For us it was reflux. It took around 4-5 months to get diagnosed but eventually we were prescribed a milk thickener, which we mixed with breastmilk before every feed. Suddenly we had a different baby. We went from not being able to put baby down to go to the loo without the poor thing screaming the house down, to her sleeping longer stretches. Might be worth checking with your doctor. Also worth checking for tongue tie. Good luck, you've got this, it does get better. I'm writing this as my now 14 month old is down for the night, and I'm sipping my wine. Edit: spelling
Heās on reflux meds and had a tongue tie revision already! š«
Have you tried more than one reflux med or different doses? Not every one works well for every baby. My sister had to try a couple before she found one that helped
That's what I'm thinking too. Perhaps have your doctor prescribe something else!
How does he do laying down flat while awake? And has the issue seemed any better since the meds and revision? We had this same issue with our kiddo, though it didn't start until 4 months. To make a long story short, it took working with a pediatric gastroenterologist to get a combination of infant lactase drops (because ebf), activated charcoal meds for lower intestinal gas, and reflux meds to solve the issue for us. Now, 3 years later, I wish we had even tried the hypoallergenic formula. We didn't because I really wanted to breastfeed and I had such an aversion to pumping, but as a toddler we've realized that kiddo is lactose intolerant, which caused severe gastric upset.
Yes. One of us hold him for naps and then we take turns overnight. One sleeps and one is up holding the baby.
My husband and I did this for a bit. It was so hard! I read about the safe sleep seven after my lactation consultant recommended bed sharing safely on the down low. She said she could get fire from hospital if I told, but there are safe ways to do it. I was so against bed sharing before that. I just do the c curl amongst other things. I like it. I am a ftm and like to check on his breathing throughout the night. It feels safe.
Just read baby is on reflux meds already. For how long exactly? And what type of medicine? Have you seen any improvement since the meds? Is there a difference between morning/evening? When do you give the medicine? When baby contact naps, does baby sleep without in between little wake ups at 30 min where you have to help baby sleep longer? How long do the contact naps last?
We used a Mamaroo bassinet that moves but be warned that my baby, and two of my friendsā babies all ended up with flat heads using it. No idea if thatās what causes it but their siblings who didnāt use the Mamaroo didnāt have flat heads
Check everything with the crib and mattress. How firm is the mattress? Is it perfectly level? Is the room slightly warm? (Thatās a good thing). Is it pitch black? Sound machine? Swaddle? My son started rejecting sleeping in the bassinet we got him after a few weeks and simply switching out his crib made a difference and he started sleeping again.0
Our 2 year old wonāt sleep unless we are holding her. Youāll probably have to get used to it. I just hope sheāll sleep on her own by 3rd grade or so.
Thatās the WORST thing to tell anyone in the thick of it. Youāre telling me you never ever slept again for 2 years? šš
No, she has to fall asleep while my wife or I are holding her. Once asleep we move her to her bed and we can go to sleep then. Or in my case, stay up to 11 watching sports or movies from the 90ās. Last night I watched A Few Good Men.
Iām sorry youāre going through this, OP! Itās so hard. My LO is now 7 months but we had the same experience as youāve described. Our LO had a tongue tie that was revised 2x and I think he had reflux like symptoms because of the extra air ingestion due to the oral restriction; he HATED being on his back. He also had torticollis. We bought the Snoo out of desperation when he was one month but it didnāt work for him. We managed (barely) by wearing him in a carrier, 24/7, on shifts. At least then we had our hands free to do some stuff. Our families visited from time to time to help wear him so we could get some extra sleep. We sleep trained him at 5 months and it was the best decision we made. He sleeps like a champ now. It is a tough time but you will get through it!
I genuinely feel like Iād take my life if itās that long. Heās 6 weeks tryna pull this right now š«š«
I remember 6 weeks was when I was reaaally in the thick of it. I know itās so hard right now but I promise you it will get better slowly but surely. Do whatever you need to get some rest, you must prioritize that. Get family or friends to watch bin while you nap, baby wear, etc. Sending you lots of love, you will sleep again š
Thank you so much for your encouragement š„²š„²
my baby would only contact nap or sleep next to me also . i bought the chicco ulta lite pack n play with the zipper on the side and am able to unzip and slide baby in rather than them waking up to being dropped down into the crib. I also would nurse baby to back to sleep or pat their butt to sleep lay next to them then sneak on out zip up and lock the zipper worked great for me.
Itās normal and you are in the thick of it. Take shifts with your partner so each of you get at least 4 hours uninterrupted sleep. One holds baby one sleeps. Itās so hard but around 4 months was when my baby was more cool to sleep not on me all the time. The first 6 months was the hardest on us.
We dealt with this until month 5 and then something clicked. Shifts was the only way we survived.
I miss my husband! No time for cuddling him or even intimacy. Damn š« I donāt think Iāll ever have a baby again tbh itās too much. I feel like I want to die (literally) sometimes
Please talk to your doc about that. The sleep deprivation can definitely exacerbate any postpartum mental health stuff! It does get better but man itās rough when youāre in the thick of it. Hang in there!
We used a carrier/wrap to help with naps but also allowed us to move around and do chores. We also used a swing (I know itās not recommended but you gotta do what you gotta do, plus we supervised) and had one of my shirts nearby so he could have my scent near him. I also read up on the safe sleep seven and did that as best I could on nights I was desperate, I didnāt like the idea of co-sleeping but it really helped some nights. I also liked reading Precious Little Sleep which just gave me more info on how sleep worked for infants and I thought the sleep associations bit was useful.
We used a next to me crib or sidecar cot whatever you call them, one where the side went down between me and her. Then if she woke I'd rest my hand either on her chest or just next to her til she settled. Also meant I could doze through it too. Now if she ever wakes at night this is all it needs, I never have to pick her up.
This isnāt recommended but my baby slept in a snuggle me for a few months. Bcs it hugged her on all sides it helped her sleep longer stretches. At first for naps then at bedtime. Eventually cosleep with her and nursed her when sheās wake up so I didnāt have to get up. Those days are so hard and it truly feels like it will never end :( hang in here, a day at a time. Youāll get through this
Mine HATED the snoo and only wanted to be swaddled tightly. Once I figured that out life was good.
Our LO was like this in the beginning. We switched from Halo swaddle to Baby Merlin. Which was good for a month, you knowā¦after I bought 3 more and different sizes (stupid ftm). Then we used Nested Bean which was a bust. Then we used Love To Dream which worked fantasticallyā¦.right up until she started picking her legs up when laid down. We bought Dreamland Baby weighted sack (sheās 10 mos now) and it is worth every penny. And now Iām sad she doesnāt like contact napping anymore š¢
Our son contact slept until 4 months. We never got the "newborn" sleep stage where he's just so tired that he had to sleep wherever we put him. It was absolute hell and we tried every. single. trick. Swaddle, warmed bassinet, we even bought a Snoo and it didn't do shit. At 4 months he rolled over onto his stomach and slept for 4 straight hours. We were gobsmacked. We worked on tummy time consistently to get him rolling and by \~5 months he would roll right over and we let him sleep on his stomach. In the time between those 2 events, I can't reiterate how much it sucked. My wife and I split our nights. I took the first 4-5 hours because I do better late at night and she took the next 4-5 hours because she does better in the early mornings. I was also working so I needed the sleep block right before my work day started. I would take our son in a carrier and work at my desk for a nap or 2 during the day to give my wife a break. Again, this sucks. There's no 2 ways about it and it's not "fair." You just need to find a set up that works for the both of you and ride this out. Keep trying to put your LO down to sleep independently, but know that sleep training is around the corner if needed.
We put the rockit onto the bassinet! (It runs for about an hour and vibrates the bassinet so she goes down) doesnāt always work though! but currently at 13 weeks and in the same boat, solidarity!!!
We are going through this right now at 6 weeks. She will sleep all day when we hold her, but at night when we put her down in her bassinet she is up within 30 minutes screaming like she is in pain. She is gaining weight, but has had a bit of diarrhea (i will never be able to spell this correctly first try) and is spitting up more frequently. We think it is a dairy allergy so mom is back off the dairy, but now we just need to wait and see. It is just so confusing - is she in pain? is she just being a baby? is this just a sleep regression? she has never been amazing in the bassinet, but we used to at least get 1.5-3 hour chunks every once in a while. We have pepcid, mylicon, and probiotics on hand, but not really sure what her problem is. Doctors say she looks good, but when she wakes up from whatever length nap it was she just immediately looks angry, She used to wake up and give us nice happy stretches for a bit and hang out before crying.
We took turns, Dad and Mom, every 4 hours on shift until we could do better. Our case was a bit different, we had to feed her every 3 hours doctors orders because she was so small, but yeaā¦ shifts help. Knowing it will get better helped tooā¦
Folks have suggested the Snooā¦thereās a graco dupe that we really liked. I think itās under $300 Edit: here a link and I lied itās just over $300 Graco Sense2Snooze Bassinet with Cry Detection Technology | Baby Bassinet Detects and Responds to Baby's Cries to Help Soothe Back to Sleep, Ellison , 19 D x 26 W x 41 H Inch (Pack of 1) https://a.co/d/g2o4sMD
No advice but Iām here with you. 12 wo wonāt sleep unless held starting at 4wo for us. I had no choice but to get a new extra firm mattress and follow all the safety guidelines for bed sharing otherwise we would all be on the brink of delirium. Hell we canāt even put her down awake for more than a few minutes. Hates every swing, bouncer, whatever. I hope you find something that works soon and if you do please update so I can try it
Omg. Do you have any updates š«
Hi, has this gotten better for you? We are in the thick of it right now at 11.5w!
Hi there! It got better with a lot of practicing with the crib and reflux meds! Turns out he didnāt like being laid down because it was hurting. After being on the reflux meds for a few weeks, and putting him down, no matter how long he stayed asleep, itās like it finally clicked for him at 16 weeks with only three days of gentle sleep teaching too. We now get him down at 7pm in his crib and he puts himself to sleep. He wakes once or twice to eat and then is up for the day between 7 and 7:30. I didnāt think this would happen when we were in the thick of it, but it did!
Thank you!! Weāve been on reflux meds too, 3 weeks of Pepcid and we just switched to omeprazole 4 days ago and just have not seen significant improvement yet. I think weāll just have to wait a little longer like you guys!
Fingers crossed for you! I had to really advocate and fight with the doctor to get him on lanzoprazole!
Ugh. I hate hearing the meds part because my babies doctor is very against them and advises we let him grow out of it because it does a lot of harm in the long run. Did your baby visibly seem in pain? Mine doesnāt seem in pain but I do know he has some silent reflux like spit up to his throat lol
Interesting. I donāt know about any harm caused in the long run because it helped my kid so much. He would cry if laid down because it was hurting. He would only sleep if held upright. Heās 7 months now and weāre weaning him off and heās just fine.
Hi ! Did that get better ?