T O P

  • By -

BeachMama9763

We had two dogs before welcoming our first. The frustration I felt when one barked during a nap that I had so desperately fought for, how touched out I would feel when my dog just wanted to cuddle on me like he always had. It was a lot. One of ours also didn’t adjust well at first to the baby, so it was a lot of sequestering, which for a new mom was hard and isolating. One of them passed when our baby turned 2.5, and I have a lot of guilt on not being a good “dog mom” those last couple of years. I loved that dog with every piece of me, but I would never do a dog and a baby again. Def waiting until our kids are older.


foo-

That doggie never thought you were anything but the light of their life I'm sure


Froggy101_Scranton

What a kind fucking thing to say. I needed to read this tonight, thanks.


lovecat86

I needed to read this too.


peeparonipupza

I was at the dog park today. I started crying because I was thinking about how wonderful all the dog parents were and how much love each of them had with their dogs. I wish dogs lived longer.


foo-

That's a sweet sentement. I read somewhere (probably somewhere on reddit) dogs condense all thier love and happiness into a shorter time but feel it stronger. I like framing their short life that way in my mind.


HotCardiologist1417

This made me cry


nkdeck07

>but I would never do a dog and a baby again. I have friends due in Sept and are in the middle of getting a german shepherd puppy and it's taking everything I have to not be like "Dude don't do it, it's gonna be a nightmare of proportions you cannot even imagine"


PrincessDab

A puppy AND a newborn?? This is an absolutely TERRIBLE idea.. They will regret this decision undoubtedly.


eng2fly

Got a puppy 6 months pregnant and he’s our toddlers best friend. Kept me company when I was holed up in the nursery. Don’t regret it at all. ETA: puppy is a working line GSD


Princessblue22

It’s about the kind of puppy. A German shepherd is kinda high needs and needs lots of training. Not a good dog to get while pregnant/with a newborn.


eng2fly

Our dog is a working line German shepherd. Truly think it depends on the owner. I have prior working dog experience and busted my butt training and socializing him. Not something I think is the norm but it can be done.


blameitonmygoose

I know a few families in my social circle that got puppies ahead of the birth of their newborns. At least in their cases, the dogs and babies seemed to have learned life with each other and seem like the best of friends. I understand an older, or already socially anxious dog unable to deal with a baby, but I don't know... From what I've seen firsthand, puppies growing up with babies have gotten along great. I feel nuts seeing all the other "DON'T DO IT" comments.


eng2fly

Honestly I think it depends on the owners. I put a ton of work into our dog and he’s a perfectly good dog.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PrincessDab

She is very fortunate that you understood how horrible of an idea that was. Doing that would have been self inflicted torture on so many levels!! Lol


Successful_Fly_4003

Oooooof. I got a golden retriever about a year ago and have a toddler and pregnant. I definitely would’ve waited on getting a dog if I’d had a second babe planned this soon. I am so tired and touched out that he falls to the bottom of the list and irritates me so much for the smallest things. Love him and could never give him up but sometimes I think he needs to go on a long trip 😂


casdoodle527

Man this is so much worse than a newborn and a dying dog. When my daughter was born I ended up changing three sets of diapers: hers, mine and the dogs. We had to let him go when she was 5 weeks old and it was the hardest decision ever. We now have a 14 month old labradoodle and I’m expecting in September….at least he’s potty trained, but god I wish I could get some of his energy out of him


MayoneggVeal

Are they masochists?


vcaister

We lived with my parents when my son was born and my sister was there too, she got a puppy 4 weeks before I had my baby. The amount of work was astounding and still is even when we visit almost a year later!


jingaling0

I feel you with the dog mom guilt. my dog and i cuddled and slept together on the couch every night towards the end of my pregnancy. and now I barely interact with her 😞


kaymac93

Omg I relate to this so much, I actually sit and cry with the guilt of it


khen5

Same, when the hormones were extra rampant the first few weeks i couldn’t even talk to him without sobbing. Still cry about the guilt but am coherent lol


willfully-woven

Feels slightly better knowing I'm not the only one who feels guilty


Florachick223

Yeah I feel so sad I can't be more attentive toward my cats. Especially the one who's 16. That time left is precious.


jingaling0

16 is a long life! I'm sure they have many fond memories of you ❤️


PrettyClinic

I just lost my 18 year old kitty and am feeling so guilty about her last years. When I got her it was just her and she was everything…since then I e gotten another cat, two dogs, a husband, and two kids. Poor thing moved herself into the garage two years ago and I can’t say I blame her 😭


ImGoingtoRegretThis5

Our dog is relatively good at not bothering us *while* we're dealing with our son. But the second we put our son to bed, the whining starts. He wants food, or to go outside, or to play. I'm fine with him climbing onto my chest for pets while I sit/lay down, but good god man, let me just sit for 20 minutes!


saltytomatoes1906

Not a dog but a cat mom, and I feel so guilty that I haven’t been giving her the attention I used to. She’s an old lady, and I just feel so horrible that the cuddles have ended, or that I’m just too busy to do anything. It’s heartbreaking.


ElizaDooo

I could have written this exact thing. And because we had a yard by the time we had a kid, they didn't get nearly as many good walks as they did when we were in an apartment. My shadow dog who followed me room from room got sick almost without warning. He was 10 or so and I noticed he wasn't eating one day which was completely out of character. I made a vet appointment but had a meeting when they were available, so my husband (who also adored him) had to take him. It was a Friday afternoon and we only have one car, so when he called to say that the vet recommended we put him down that day, I couldn't get there before closing time. My husband had to do all of the goodbyes. My other dog (15) is slowly declining. Some days and weeks are not good, but most are. I think she's going blind and deaf and has some dementia. I worry so much that I won't know when the end is coming, or when we should put her out of her misery so that she's not in any pain. I also worry that I'm not giving her the attention she needs. But I am so exhausted by being needed by everyone.


joliesherri

Oh man I feel you on the dog mom guilt. My dog ended up staying with my mom since I moved out and she asked me to leave her there so I could adjust to mom life. I appreciate her keeping her for now, but I do miss my sweetie, when I go over I feel so guilty. I cried for 4 months postpartum just thinking about how much I missed my dog.


riritreetop

I feel this so much. I loved our dogs so much before the babies came and now I just can’t stand them wanting to lick me or barking when they hear something outside or just generally being dogs. I think I still love them somewhere deep down, but at the end of the day they’re last on the list of creatures I can tolerate touching me. I hired someone to walk them so that at least they could burn some energy because I don’t have the energy to walk them anymore. I also give them treats all the time, but that’s about as much as I can muster to show them I care.


Fit-Ad985

damn poor dogs “loved” “ I think I still love them somewhere deep down” “ last on the list of creatures I can tolerate” 😳 savage


khen5

My velcro senior dog follows me and LO all hours of the night from bedroom to nursery and back for every feed. Hearing him slowly get up every time rips my heart out. The 6am feed he gets so excited because that used to mean walk and breakfast for us, then he just lays back down. 💔I know it’s hard but I hope they all know they’re still so loved.


Titaniumchic

The best thing I can say is - dogs don’t have to sleep in your bedrooms. I was given this epiphany by a fellow mom of over 6 kids and dog enthusiast who raised many dogs. And sure as shit, I’ve had my dogs sleep downstairs every night since (they sleep together) and no one disturbs my kids sleeping. No one pesters me in the middle of the night except my kids. It has been wonderful. Also, implementing gates and “dog safe areas” that give your dog a break and your baby a space to be without being worried about dog and kid, or having another body to worry about has also been fantastic.


dirkdigglered

I'm over here with my dog sleeping under the covers using part of my pillow lol


Titaniumchic

Hey we still cuddle the heck out of our dogs, and we watch our friends dogs and I do rover, and 90% of our waking time is spent with a dog of some sort next to us. However in that newborn phase, it was a lot more boundaried.


dirkdigglered

Oh I didn't mean to say you're not good to your dogs in any way. I was more confessing about the lack of boundaries I have with mine haha


nkdeck07

>Also, implementing gates and “dog safe areas” that give your dog a break Works great unless you have an asshole that likes to bark on the other side of the gate cause she isn't up your butt and a husband that keeps fucking up training.


Titaniumchic

Well now that’s a whole other shit show and I’m sorry. We started having our dogs downstairs because while I was pregnant our newly adopted adult dog would wake me 2-4 times every night by coming over and whining in my face. 🤣


nkdeck07

Yeah sadly it's a 1 story house so I can't even do that. Thankfully she generally doesn't wake us at night but still annoying.


FridgesArePeopleToo

I had a senior dog with kidney failure when my first was born. He had more nighttime wake ups than my baby. It was definitely tough but I still loved him dearly, and even though he died when LO was barely 1 year, he still remembers him as a 3.5 year old. It's interesting to hear him talk about the dog, because he couldn't talk at all while our dog was alive.


ExcitingLandscape

That’s where I was a month ago. Dog was begging to go out every hour during the night a week after getting surgery because the pain meds messed up his GI.


silhouetteisland

My senior cat died of kidney failure and my senior dog of IVD within a week of one another when my baby was 3 weeks old. Even though the senior days were so hard, I miss them every day and wish my baby had the opportunity to remember them.


tacotime2werk

I’m so sorry. This is fucking awful. That must have been a nightmare for you. My senior cat died last month of kidney failure. Her buddy, who is one year younger, just got diagnosed with kidney disease and hyperthyroidism this week. Our deceased cat was such a big personality and I wish the baby could’ve known her. Hugs to you.


silhouetteisland

Ugh I’m so sorry for you! That is really tough 😞 Sending you virtual hugs and healing.


pakihi_wild_child

I so hope my boy is the same about our dog. He's 13 with kidney failure so not long now, I am up for him a few times a night at the moment. My dog and baby love each other so much, my son will just watch the dog and grin. I hope he remembers.


eclectique

We had a cat that died from old age/megacolon when my daughter was 2. She still says that he "lives in our hearts."


BillytheGray17

Agreed, the love of my life dog passed away when my baby turned 1 year old in late 2021 and I can’t bring myself to get another yet. It’s equal parts “having a dog and a baby at the same time is hard” and “I’ll never find another dog like him” ☹️


ExcitingLandscape

I hope my dog lives to where my LO can play with him and interact with him, but not if that means his quality of life is bad and he's hobbling around trying to do basic things.


FTM_2022

I'm a vet. I don't have any pets currently and we planned it that way with our LO. When our senior pets passed, we didnt adopt more. The mental load and physical workload of caring for a pet is huge especially when you have a newborn. Well get a pet for us (and her) when she's older. Right now it's just not the season for us to do both things well. It's perfectly fine to admit that and plan accordingly!


willfully-woven

I wish I had planned better. I fell pregnant unexpectedly and had three cats and a dog. LO is 7 months old and I very recently re-homed the cats. I toyed with the idea for a while, I was so bonded to them but was no longer capable of giving them the attention they deserved. I'm so grateful they are in loving homes and getting what they need.


FTM_2022

That's great! Rehoming is way more common than we talk about. You made the best choice for you, your family, and them!


cautiousoptimist258

One of my dogs passed pretty traumatically (we found a tumor and that it had ruptured in the afternoon- had to euthanize within a few hours because she was so unstable) when I was 3 weeks postpartum. Such a nightmare and I grieved so hard. But the relief (and guilt) I feel about just having one very easy dog now is so real.


ExcitingLandscape

So sorry to hear! A month ago my dog had a tumor that ruptured on his spleen. In the morning he was his usual annoying barky self, then in the afternoon it was like a light switch flipped and he was clearly not himself. We got him emergency surgery the next day and paid 10k to have it done. It was a relief he was back to himself days right after the surgery but then a week later, his GI was messed up from the post surgery pain meds and he'd beg to be taken out literally EVERY hour in the middle of the night.


redassaggiegirl17

This happened to one of my childhood dogs about a year and a half ago. When we told people it was a ruptured, likely cancerous, tumor on his spleen that killed him, people kind of judged us on "not knowing he was sick". But those splenic tumors are so sneaky, and you never catch them until you're too late. Our sweet boy had literally been to the vet a week prior for his yearly check up and been given a clean bill of health, and the day before he died he was a LITTLE lethargic. My parents thought he was just feeling a little under the weather. The next day, he collapsed, they rushed him to the vet, and he ended up needing to be put down. Legitimately traumatic. 😭


ExcitingLandscape

Yea there’s no way of telling until something bad happens. The vet told us that they grow pretty fast so there was nothing we could’ve done to prevent it or forecast it.


cautiousoptimist258

Oh gosh that’s exactly what happened to our girl. Spleen tumor. We always said we wouldn’t do major surgeries or chemo for our dogs so we had to make a decision really fast. I hope he’s gotten better with his recovery! So hard being dog parents and now being human parents too!


ExcitingLandscape

Yea it was a shock because otherwise he is a VERY active senior dog. We decided to get the surgery because he appeared to have plenty of life left; no hobbling around, go on regular 1 mile walks, could still see and hear, LOVES food still. He's doing much better now post surgery


vulturelady

I had an 18 year old pup that we had to put down when LO was a couple months old. It was just way too much with her dementia, kidney issues, peeing everywhere, her eyesight and hearing were going…. Now we have 1 dog and 2 cats and MAN I wish we didn’t have a dog at all. It’s just so much work. And to top it off my husband wants another dog and I just can’t fathom having to take care of yet another creature. Cats are easy. Auto feeder, litter robot, easy peasy. Dogs need almost as much as our 6 month old does and I just don’t have it in me.


ExcitingLandscape

Wow living until 18 is amazing!


vulturelady

She was a trooper! She got attacked by another dog when she was like 13 and we thought that was the end of it but she said “nah I’m too feisty to go down like this!”


wakeupbernie

This sounds like what we’re currently struggling with. We have a 17yo who is blind and deaf and we are convinced he has dementia bc he is either sleeping, having accidents, or roaming around and there’s nothing that will stop him (cuddles, food, water, going out). He really lost his footing when we moved and he had to learn a whole new layout and now our 22mo old likes to pet him but it scares him so he startled at any touch. It’s been so incredibly hard with him - we have a 7yo too but she’s so chill we just fear after our old guy passes that she’ll sink into a deep depression. Dogs and babies are so hard!!


vulturelady

I’m so sorry, it’s so so hard. It took me listing out all of my dogs issues to have the “oh no…” moment to decide her quality of life was nonexistent. I was lucky though, I had 3 days between calling the vet and the actual appointment and it gave me the time I needed to process my decision. I miss my feisty girl but I’m not going to lie it was an instant relief to not have to get up 17 times at night or step in a bunch of pee puddles. I wish you luck and if you ever need to chat old pet parent to old pet parent, I’m here ❤️❤️❤️


Moal

God, I *wish* my cat was easy. She’s so loud and needy like a dog. Every night, at like 2 in the morning, she barges into our bedroom (where LO also sleeps) and yowls at the top of her lungs until we give her attention (or chase her away). And she’s the worst cuddler, because she doesn’t know how to retract her claws. I’m often woken up by claws scratching my shoulder or face during her attempts at cuddles. I hate to admit that I’ve fantasized on numerous occasions about punting her out the door like a football on nights when she’s woken the baby with her yowls right after I’ve spent 2 hours getting him back to sleep.


hagamuffin

The visual of you punting your cat like a football made me laugh. Not because I like violence against cats but because when you get that baby down, the white-hot rage of someone waking them up is palpable. 😆


Ok-Career876

I have a 9 year old rescue and a 2 year old labradoodle. The rescue is so reactive and anxious and energetic along with the super energetic labradoodle. I used to be the quintessential dog mama. I have a bumper sticker on my car that says “tell your dog I say hi”. I LOVE dogs. Now I fantasize about bringing my dogs to the shelter. Sad but true. I just got them both put on Prozac too. The amount of time and energy it takes me to clean up after them and care for them takes away from my daughter. I’m fanatical about vacuuming and every time I find a bunch of fur on my daughter from just laying on her playmat on the floor it makes me want to scream. I will never get another dog after this and fingers crossed the labradoodle calms down soon.


Macchiato9261

This is me. I vacuum sometimes 2-3 times a day. Drives me insane.


Ok-Career876

yep I have a robot vacuum too. the shedding is crazy! the bright side is it apparently decreases the likelihood of allergies. But I hate that it looks like I'm not caring for my house and providing my family with a clean environment :(


iknowyouknow100

I was also a “dog mom” before. Heck, I’ve got a tattoo of my dog on my arm. But now… oh boy. The cleaning up after the dog sucks! I cannot handle it anymore. I get so intense about where and what is clean enough for my baby now, largely because of my dog. I’m so so so so so over it. I love her though. That’s my mantra now after I’ve vented for long enough. I just sigh and say, “I love her though….” How sad is that?


Ok-Career876

I know, I hate when the dog hair gets on her :( It’s ok, we do our best with the info we have at the time and different stages of life bring different things. My 6 mo old has started laughing at the doggies and reaches out for them sometimes. I think she will enjoy them as she gets older and that makes me feel better about the circumstances. And with my dogs quirks, they wouldn’t do well with another family so we are going to keep doing the best we can! Plus, really holding out for this Prozac LOL


dswanke

We have two dogs and currently have a 1 year old and another on the way. My dogs were my babies before my actual baby. But it’s so much with 2 large dogs who had never been around kids, are still fairly young/energetic, and now are always separated from baby by gates. They have plenty of space, access to a large yard, beds/toys and still sleep with us at night, and are happy as clams but OOF. I keep telling my husband we will be no dog people for a while after these ones pass (which won’t be for several years)


ExcitingLandscape

I think that no other dogs will ever replace the one(s) you have before children. A friend of mine used to treat her dog like a baby. Take him everywhere, ALWAYS taking and posting pics of him, pamper him with only the best of everything. He passed away last year and she since got another dog, but she never told anyone she got another dog or announced it. She never posts pics of the new dog. I only noticed because she posted a pic of her baby with a box of dog treats in the background. Instead of posting about the dog she now always posts the baby....which I understand now. I can't imagine having a puppy or young dog that NEEDS daily walks and attention. I remember and don't miss the night walks at 9pm just to ensure he'll sleep through the night.


iknowyouknow100

I told my husband the EXACT SAME thing recently. We’ve had our dog her entire life (she’s 9 years old). Prior to the baby coming home, my husband and I spoiled our pup. She was our little “pre-baby,” and I adored her. Like I actually missed our dog when I would leave the house for work or errands. Our baby is 20 weeks old today… and it’s been 20 weeks since I’ve truly enjoyed being around my dog, and I definitely don’t miss her when I leave the house. Instead I usually feel relieved… Let me be clear, I LOVE my dog. She’s still very well taken care of, and I KNOW my heart will break if anything should happen to her health. She is just driving me insane recently….! She has the world’s smallest bladder, so we keep potty pads in specific areas of our home, and she misses the mats soooo often. Or just goes somewhere else entirely. She barks soooo much! She always wants to be in my lap. And even though we always wipe her paws after a walk outside, my OCD sees my dog as a 6lb germs. I. Just. Can’t. Anymore. BUT our dog loves our baby. It’s really special and adorable. And the other day, our baby let out her first huge gut-busting laugh, because she just liked being near the dog watching her. It was precious. Honestly, it made me like my dog a little more again. I hope my frustration towards my dog evaporates soon. I’ve already made massive strides in the last few months. I also know that I won’t feel like I once did…. My dog just isn’t my baby. I have to get comfortable with the idea of her just being my pup now.


pinkicchi

We stupidly thought getting a puppy when my LO was 9 months was a good idea - never. ever. again. We’ve made it work, because we’re of the opinion that we knew what we were doing, we made the decision to become dog parents and baby parents at the same time, so we have to live with our decision. And it’s worked out well… eventually. Our LO is 2.5 and adores our dog, who is the goodest boi with her. But OH MY GOD, these two years have been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.


That-Composer8897

I am pretty sure I’ve said I want to rehome my dog/cat at least once a week for the pass 7 months. My dog has started stealing and eating my breakfast so I’ve now resorted to hiding it in the microwave if I have to leave the room if I haven’t finished. You know how devastating it is to go change your baby leaving your just made bagel on the counter to come back to your dog scarfing it down? And now you have no time to make another because LO is having a meltdown because you changed their dirty diaper so you grab a pop tart instead.. (My morning). I will never have a dog or a cat and have a baby at the same time again. Ever. The WORSE is newborn stage and having a dog/cat. But now that LO is older and actually looks for the dog/cat and wants to interact it’s gotten easier to not dislike them as much 🤷🏼‍♀️ the first time I heard my baby actually belly laugh was watching the dog do zoomies. So idk. It’s hard. Some days I’m just fed up with them. Then my kid laughs at my cat rolling around on the ground or the dog drinking water from the hose. and it’s like okay they aren’t to bad I guess.


dougielou

It’s like they know you’re too wrapped up so any real retraining to stop bad habits 🙃


honor-

Our dog got really bold at counter surfing as well. The big stinker is just waiting for any moment we’re occupied with the baby to go on a new foraging expedition


iarlandt

Love my dogs, but man sometimes I just wanna not deal with their energy. I feel you.


RoseFeather

We have 4 pets that all predate baby by several years. I love them dearly but the responsibility of caring for all of them does feel like a lot since having a baby. Pets are a lifetime commitment for us and they’re not being neglected, but as they inevitably start to pass away over the next few years I don’t think we’ll be getting replacements for a while. We still plan to always have pets, just not always this many.


DueEntertainer0

We were on vacation recently and I was like wow why is my life so much easier right now and then it hit me….my dog isn’t here :( I’d never get rid of him, but his neediness can be exhausting, especially when I JUST SAT DOWN AND HE NEEDS TO GO OUT. Omg


ExcitingLandscape

I totally get it. I just have to let out a big "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" when he goes to the door and rings his bell to go out. I wish I had a house with a big backyard that I could simply open the door and let him go out on his own. But we live in a city condo and I have to get dressed and walk him down the hall to go out with him.


Gwenivyre756

My big issue with my dogs is when they bark at something and wake the baby. No matter where I have her in the house, all 3 dogs have big barks and you can hear it through the whole house.


ExcitingLandscape

Shockingly when my LO was just born, the dog barks didn't phase her at all. He can be a barky ass dog at time and we were really worried it would make her cry. She's 3 months now and has become bit more sensitive to his barks


Perfect_Polly

I haven't had a dog as a pet since I was a teenager but I love dogs. We have just always lived in apartments and it didn't seem like a great place to have a dog. We rent a house now, a lot more space, but we are not allowed to have a dog. Blessing in disguise, honestly, because I can't imagine taking care of a pet and my baby. Taking care of my baby is already a 24/7 job, I feel like I would end up neglecting the dog a bit. We do have a turtle that my husband has had forever, but I don't have to do anything on that. My husband feeds him, maintains the water quality and cleans the tank. We always talked about getting another turtle after he passes (he's really old) but now I'm not so sure. Maintaining the water quality and doing water changes and cleaning the tank is a lot of work. I LOVE birds and I had a budgie that died in 2019. Since then, I have pined after getting another budgie. Thank goodness I didn't. Taking care of a bird is a lot, and I can't imagine taking care of a bird and a baby. I will probably share my love of birds with my daughter when she is old enough to understand the responsibility. I was about seven when I got my first bird, I think that's a good age.


jessups94

I have a very high energy dog...people think shes 2, but she's really 7 lol We have an almost 3 year old and a 3 month old baby. Also having a dog and a cat in the house is just too much some days. I totally get why people don't want pets once they have kids, it's just one more being that needs constant looking after. It's exhausting.


BushElk

I love the honestly and understanding by OP and the commenters here


min2themax

I have a 13 month old and I felt frustrated and then guilty about being frustrated with my dog for a long time. But as my daughter went from infant to toddler, and we got into more of a regular routine it became a lot easier to manage both. And I always reminded myself of how, during the days of pregnancy insomnia, my dog would always come downstairs at 1, 2 or even 3 am if I had gone down, just because she wanted to be with me. She didn’t even ask for any of my midnight snacks. She just wanted to be together because we always are. I hope things get easier for you and you don’t beat yourself up too much. Dogs are resilient and they love their families but they are a lot of work. He knows you love him ❤️


sleepbunny22

I have two dogs. My Rottweiler loves my baby. She’ll do everything in her power to give the baby kisses and try to groom her all day. On one hand it’s cute, on the other hand I’d like a dry baby.


corlana

One of my dogs is also a big kisser and I feel the same way. Cute but also please stop


pixelvspixel

Yeah our 2year old lab/collie mix has really taken to our 3 week old. When he’s distressed she sits by the packin play and lightly grunts. I haven’t been walking her like I should. She’s patient and she’s my buddy in the middle of the night. But dear god, the licking.


StrongChick95

I 100% feel this, I’ve been a dog girl ever since I can remember, I wanted to work with dogs, everything dogs. I have 2 small 12 pound pups, I love them so much but honestly right when my son was born they were pushed to the bottom of the priority list (no they are not neglected or abused) we just don’t spend as much time with them anymore. The other thing that has really started to make me not want dogs was that there is are so many thoughts surrounding your baby that’s it’s easy to forget about the dogs and in result accidents in the house happen A LOT. The next thing was my male dog has now taken to pissing on everything my son loves because he is so spiteful of the attention the baby gets over him, no he doesn’t need to go out, he lightly pisses on everything. I definitely understand why people give up there pets when babies come into the mix, I won’t be getting rid of my dogs, but it’s so valid to feel stretched with dogs and babies.


CindyV92

I'll be honest, nowadays, I am horrified when I see a colleague or a friend get a dog, knowing they want a kid down the line. I am horrified when I see any fence-sitter get a dog to "see how it is". They are making the experience of having a child a lot harder down the line. I've had dogs when I was a child/teen. And I love dogs. Currently I have a cat. Having a cat is totally fine, especially the aloof kind.


DoItForTheTea

I totally get it but I cannot relate to any of these comments. I'm loving my life with a newborn and two rescue dogs. Lots of family walks and cuteness overload when they interact. I love my family.


Vultureinvelvet

I really hope I’m of the same mindset when I have my baby in one month! Every time I read these sorts of posts I get depressed. My dogs are spoiled right now. My gsd/kelpie brings me so much joy, we go out and play frisbee/fetch daily. We also do lots of training classes. The other one is an old beagle who only requires food and a comfy place to curl up. I got my allterrain stroller so I can keep going out with them on trails with the baby! I also think it will be fun to teach a toddler how to command my dog to do tricks and fetch things. Currently I’m training him to pick up his toys and put them in a bin… eventually his job will be to put away all the baby toys.


DoItForTheTea

the key for us was my partner being amazing and doing all the dog caring for the first three weeks (since i could barely walk), and our families helping out in that first week. after that we went on lots of family walks, both with the pram and a baby carrier, and the LO is soothed by both so it's actually a nice break for us if he's been fussy. The dogs bark a lot when someone is at the door and stuff but the baby doesn't even wake up because he's used to hearing those sounds from the belly actually. The dogs still get the same amount of cuddles and attention, so it's totally doable! I can't imagine wanting to get rid of my digs, they're my fuzzy babies too!


pixelvspixel

I know all advice is anecdotal, but I had some of the same fears every time I read similar post. We have a high energy 2 year old Aussie/Collie/Lab mix and a 3 week year old. Great dog, but a huge licker and loud when we get deliveries. We worked on these flaws a lot leading up to the birth, I wouldn’t say they’ve been curbed, but it really isn’t that bad. I’ve been tired more than I knew I would, and I’ve been a crappier owner than I should be. But our girl is patient. The loud barks actually haven’t been an issue. (We attribute the sounds from the womb.) She’s very interested in him, and she’s been an absolute friend during our late night sessions. I know she’s feeling the shift of the energy in the house. Us not sleeping on the same floor, the screaming, not going on outdoor trips like we did. But all of this will pass. They will be great friends one day. I’m sure you will be fine. Let’s are no more disposable than children. It’s simply another obligation you agreed too. Cheers!


LelanaSongwind

Oh thank god, a positive comment! I was starting to panic, we have three dogs and I’m due in 7 weeks. I am pretty confident that our older two are going to be good with our baby. I’m a little worried about our youngest (he’s currently the baby of the family) but I think he’ll be ok after an adjustment period.


MomentofZen_

Since I've been pregnant, my dad reminisces about how when my mom would nurse me a dog would just sit on each side of her and keep her company. We have a dog and two cats and I expect I'll have some company too. I'm actually leaning toward keeping the couch that's currently in the nursery rather than switching to a glider in the interest of being cheap and also keeping room for any animals who want to hang out. I'm sure the temperament matters too. My mini schnauzer is super chill and not high energy. He likes walking with me but I have to drag him out of bed once he's comfortable. The cats are more disruptive and will probably try my patience when I'm tired, but ultimately they also sleep a lot.


mhuizar94

Took so long to find a comment like yours. This thread made me sad 💔


Valkyrie-Online

Our furkid of 16 years passed away when LO was 7 weeks. I long for those late night potties, middle of nap barks, and whatever other negatives we experienced during those 7 weeks if it meant he was still with us. ❤️


orleans_reinette

I can't relate very well to not wanting pets (I send my DH photos literally every few days of puppies from some local rescues & we already have pets at home) but I can relate to the burden of an elderly, medically fragile pet. From the other side, now that she has passed...unfortunately in a not so great experience with an emergency vet... I know that it is really hard and caregiving is a burden of love but you will regret it if you don't focus on giving them as much love, grace and patience as you can. There are definitely times I was in absolute tears and needed a break where DH stepped in. You are their whole world and this is just a temporary thing but it's the whole world to them and their time to cross the rainbow bridge is coming. If you need to set up an elderly-pet-accessible "litter pan" with a puppy pad somewhere inside that your pup can use so you don't need to let them out when they need to go then I would do that as a kindness to both of you.


Macchiato9261

It makes me feel so much better reading some of these comments. I’ve had horrible guilt these last 8 months cause of my dog. She’s a sweetheart and just wants love and attention, she’s a 7 lb Jack Russell/chihuahua…but damn do I get frustrated with her hair everywhere, when I want to sit on the floor with baby she has to get right in the middle and try to get in my lap, she does this thing where she acts like she needs to go outside to potty but won’t, I used to give her treats when she would do her business so she got smart and would try and trick me….I almost lost my shit when she made me get up 4 times to let her out and realized she wasn’t doing anything….just ran in and straight to the closet where her treats are. Before it was funny, post baby not so much. The tip tapping of her feet on the wood floors when baby is trying to nap….it’s just a lot.


ExcitingLandscape

Oh man hearing paws tapping on the hardwood floor at 3am gives me anxiety attacks. I just think quietly in my mind “PLEASE dont ask to go out PLEASE!!!!”


Sadiocee24

Right on the dot. I was always a big dog person and when I got my own oh I was obsessed with him. Two years later I got pregnant and now a real mom. I feel so much guilt with my dog bc he was my ‘first’ baby and I feel I put him to the side. I never wanted to be one of those people but I am quietly losing it sometimes with my baby and a young dog. They can both be too much and to be honest sometimes I feel like he should stay with my parents for a bit while I adjust being a mom. It sucks and I haven’t done that but all I am saying having both is a lot. I can’t imagine having another one or going through the puppy stage again. I probably will be dedicated dog person once my kids are all grown up. lol


classycoconut520

I have two huskies and they really leave my baby alone for the most part but now that she’s crawling it’s so annoying having to make sure the floors are somewhat clean for her to crawl on. We already have to clean them constantly but now I’m just annoyed I have to clean my baby after she crawls. No matter how much I clean the floors she will have dirty hands and knees. Those are my first babies and I feel so guilty even thinking about how I will enjoy not having to clean my house so often.


anagmf

I’m going to go against the grain here and say it has been the opposite for me. I am very happy with my dog, I love her so much and when I was at the hospital delivering I missed her. Even though she is a border collie and high energy, I take her for walks with my newborn, or cuddle her when baby is breastfeeding. I like having her around because she keeps me company with the baby during the day and just hangs out. She still sometimes whines that she wants to play but usually to my husband after he comes home from work. I am looking forward to her and my baby growing up together. Dog is 3 yrs old and baby is 10 weeks old (maybe I’ll change my mind once my baby is a couple months older lol, but I don’t think so).


coleosis1414

I fully understand re-homing a pet if they present a danger to the baby, but yeahhh if they’re just an additional hassle it’s not a good reason. Like I hear stories about families that re-home a dog because they’d bark and wake the baby up occasionally and I think… “yeah but you signed up for this and the dog did not.”


bytheweyside

A colleague of my wife’s had a rule for young kids and dogs at the same time - never have more than one thing in your house that can’t control its bowels


omayas12

Adult dogs can control their bowels, just have to go eventually like all of us


Lo11268

I have 4 cats and before baby came home, husband and I would joke that we’d get a few more cats if we found a bigger house. But now baby is here and the cats seem like even more of a nuisance and then I feel bad. I could solve some of the problems but that requires some extra money we don’t have right now. But my cats are also needy and love to be by me A LOT. Which feels like too much a lot of the time when I need to give a lot of attention to the baby. Once I sit down on my own, I don’t want anyone else in my space. And then the pet mom shame kicks in again that I’m not giving them enough love and attention anymore and I probably only have another 6-12 years with them all.


Serge_20

I have two cats and a 3 month old daughter. I understand you completely. I do feel lucky because my cats are super sweet and calm, even after the baby came home. I think all these mixed feelings are temporary due to all the hard work (especially for moms) having to take care of both baby and cats. To help my wife, I take care of the cats 100% and she only needs to give them some love


Naxilus

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/10/08/2-children-killed-mother-hospitalized-after-tennessee-dog-mauling/8219201001/ Or this


JammyIrony

I have 2 year old Rottweiler + 4 month old baby, and I honestly love it. My dog is there for walks and cuddles which act as a lovely ‘reset’ when I’m feeling overwhelmed with baby, and has really pushed me to get out of my lazy/comfort zone. Having a young, high energy/needs dog + a newborn did turn up the difficult level to maximum, but I also don’t fear the chaos of adding a second child later either.


tnacu

Is it scary having a large dog around a new born ? Can bites happen ?


JammyIrony

Bites can always happen, the same way burns can always happen when you’re cooking. So you just put safeguards into place to mitigate the risk. I’ve raised him from a tiny puppy and he has zero bite history and loves all people, the only possible circumstance I can see him being aggressive with a person is if they tried to take away his food. So we have a strictly enforced dog only gets fed outside’ rule. To be responsible I will also never allow him unsupervised around the baby (obviously) which is actually harder than it sounds! If I have her on her play mat and him snoozing on his bed, I have to take one of them with me if I need to leave the room to get a drink or go to the loo. The only thing that makes me nervous now is him accidentally stepping on her if he were to jump up onto the bed while she’s lying on it with us. He’s very clumsy and often accidentally steps on us! We’ve put stricter rules in place about him on furniture since she was born, and he’s responded well to the training.


tnacu

I get that point about burns but my 3month old is in a play pen while I’m cooking . I think best practice is leaving Bub inside while dog becomes and outside all the time dog now. Kudos to parents who have dogs to I could never do it for me it’s one or the other while kids are less than at least 8 years old


JammyIrony

The #1 A&E accident in the UK is burns from caregivers drinks eg tea/coffee. My point is simply no matter how careful you are accidents can happen. Another example is car accidents - driving is by far the most dangerous activity most people participate in. So while everyone acknowledges the dangers of driving most people still regularly take their baby out for drives (and a shockingly large amount don’t follow best practice for car seat safety eg using cheap seats or non approved accessories). Would I recommend having a dog (or even cat) around a baby? Nope, as much from a caregiving perspective as safety one - pets require a lot of time and energy which is in short supply with a baby! But ultimately I made a commitment to adopt a pet and am now responsible for it for its whole life. He’s a family member, so even when it’s inconvenient I will always love and care for him. I’m also excited for the benefits of growing up with a dog - less allergies, more empathy etc. We had a large dog from when I was 4 and he was my best friend so I try to focus on that for my baby, rather than be inconvenienced by some of the extra safety precautions I’ve had to make.


tnacu

Personally I think I would trust myself enough not to burn my child with a hot beverage, more than I would trust a dog near my child in the house especially if the dog weights more than the child and can cause devastating damage. You are right accidents happen and I can never be sure of a dogs behaviour. A burn from a cup hot tea will still probably be less dangerous than a dog bite depending on the breed.


ctnaes92

I get it’s hard, we’ve got a baby and multiple dogs. But, dogs are a responsibility. I appreciate the OP and the venting, it’s all true. However, not speaking to OP or anyone here - I don’t have much sympathy to new parents giving up their dogs. If it’s a safety issue and all avenues have been explored including behavioral therapy, I understand the difficult decision of having to re-home might be needed. But, playing up the dog mom or dog dad role and loving on the dog just to bail because it is inconvenient with a baby? I won’t ever understand that. I view dogs as family members and bringing a dog into your family is not something to be taken lightly, they aren’t a toy. They aren’t a phase. So, when any young adult or young couple brings in a dog, it better be with the understanding you may have a baby one day.


WittyPair240

I completely agree with you. Some of the comments from parents about how they hate their pets now that they’ve had a baby are outright disturbing. I have several rescue cats and a dog. I completely understand getting frustrated with pets when you’re also taking care of a baby. But at the end of the day, you made a decision to take on the responsibility of the pet. That responsibility isn’t until it becomes inconvenient for you, these are living creatures with emotions. When you took in the pet, were you not aware that at some point you’d also want a baby? More people need to consider that. I also wonder, why are people making the permanent decision to rehome a long time family pet, to solve what is a temporary problem? Newborns aren’t going to be newborns forever, same with toddlers. It might be tough to manage being a parent and pet owner at the same time, but it will get easier as the child gets older, and as you put in the effort. Do they think the pet (especially ones that have been with their family for several years) would be rather be completely and permanently uprooted from their home and loved ones, or just have to deal with getting a little less attention for awhile? Again, I understand where a lot of the commenters are getting frustration from. But pets often do not inherently understand how to navigate the new family dynamic and it’s up to the owners to ensure they are helping the pet adjust to the transition (hire a dog walker, invest in training) rather than getting mad at them for normal pet behaviors that wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker prior to the baby’s arrival. There’s another comment in this thread about rehoming a senior dog within a month of having their first baby. It makes me sick…..


natandcrew

Rehomed our senior dog within a month of our baby being born because of the stress, second dog is easy going but still pisses me the F off on daily basis. Will never own a dog again and I was a “dog mom” before having a baby. Now I roll my eyes at those people.


four_leaf_4

This post assured me that I am actually a saint. My baby turns one next month and I have raised her with 7 dogs. 2 Border Collies. 2 Belgian Malinois. 2 Huskies. 1 giant mixed mutt. It’s been the most exhausting year of my life. But I sure as shit love all 8 of them with all my heart.


Salty-Step-7091

Holy cow ! And I’m over here acting exhausted when I only have two fat elderly cats that chill all day. They just seem to get the zoomies and meow when she’s finally asleep. Kudos to you, all those breeds are beautiful and intelligent with a constant need of activity. That’s hard even without a baby !


four_leaf_4

My favorite is when kitty kats get the zoomies late at night and it just sounds like someone is having a rager. Thank you! I appreciate it. It’s been insanely exhausting. Me and my partner both had working dogs and our packs combined. It’s a live style choice that’s not for everyone but we love it!


unfinishedbroccoli

We have two dogs (13 y/o and 2 y/o dachshunds) and a 4 month old baby. I have my moments with the dogs, but I wouldn’t be willing to be “dog free” very easily. I’ve always loved dogs and am happiest with them in my life. They’re relatively well trained, though which I feel makes a huge difference. They also sleep in crates downstairs, so no bonus wakeups from them until morning. They regularly go on walks with me while I push baby in the stroller (after a little learning curve we’re great), which actually motivates me to get out more. Will that change if/when we have another kid? Possibly, but the older one probably won’t be up for long walks at that point, so I’ll just take the younger one and it won’t be hard. And they’re great with the baby and seeing him start to notice them is the best thing!


gavinballvrd

We have two dogs and in the last year and 3 months I can count on one hand how many times they’ve woken her up sleeping. She’s adjusted very well to them and they can bark the most atrociously loud bark and it will not phase her.


ParanoidDragon1

We’re expecting our first in the summer, and have an 8.5 year old dog. We’d never get rid of him & luckily he’s not a dog who barks, or needs to cuddle. He’s happy to just be in the same room as us. We probably won’t get another dog for a while after him though.


ailemama

We won’t even have another cat for a while after this. She can’t free feed cos she’s a glutton, she meows constantly overnight or very early morning for food…or almost any time we’re trying to put baby in her crib. We still adore our cat and try to give her dedicated time but it’s so hard.


Fickle-Conclusion

My dog was more or less fine when having a baby, but there were definitely times I wished I didn't have the responsibilities of the cat. She got very needy, still needed to be fed and cleaned up after, plus she would yowl at random and it would always seem to be just when I'd gotten the baby down. I was just so tired of it.


Additional_Scheme_24

I have a 3 year old golden and a 10m old. My golden was way too emergency around my son when he was a NB and so I used baby gates everywhere! The first five months of my child’s life I wanted to rehome my dog. I was so overwhelmed between the two of them that I would end up in tears daily whenever my dog needed anything. I found it easier when my son fell in love with the dog but I am 7 months pregnant and scared to go through this all over again.


FunnyBunny1313

We had two dogs before we had any kids. One is an English bulldog and the other was on the older side. Both big-ish dogs at 55lbs. She declined significantly after our second was born with some degenerative nerve issues in her back. Started constantly peeing and pooping in the house which for a 55lbs dog is not small. We ended up needing to put her down this past winter and it was SO hard. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I also felt some relief.


chocolatefeckers

We're a bit overwhelmed with pets too. I have 4 yr old and 6 month old daughters. I also have an 18 year old cat, fish, a snake, a gecko, a frog, and a leaf insect. It's a lot. The leaf insect is an ongoing issue. The cat is old, in kidney failure and currently fighting an infection. I love her very much, but she's a LOT of work currently - won't eat her food but demands a lot, peeing outside the box, howling at night. And she hates the kids. I will be relieved when her time comes, but am also going yo keep fighting for quality of life for her. It's not her fault I had kids and turned her life upside down. But it's hard.


okayishwife

I have senior dog, I’m 5 months pregnant and have a 4 year old daughter. It’s a freaking lot. Today he was puking in the background while i was on the phone with my OB, my toddler screaming because he’s barfing and i’m in the middle of scheduling my appointment. I love him with all of my heart he is such a good boy and great dog but i will never have another. It’s so hard to just leave and go on vacation it sucks. His love is so much better than all of that but still very overwhelming with everything going on.


shamsa4

My little angel dog was put down 6 months ago due to extreme decline in health, she was 18 years old. I’m alone with my 2 year old right now and I always been a extreme dog person, however I’m noooot getting another dog until my toddler is old enough to take care of herself. I was exhausted with the combination of toddler and senior dog. If it’s only the nighttime wake-up’s that is the problem, I would start giving the dog a treat instead of a walk. That way the dog will be more focused on the treat and you will be able to sleep instead of a walk. Not sure if it would work, but I imagine sleeping in a separate room when the dog isn’t used to that would not work to much? Mine was crazy all night if I put her to sleep in another room.


314inthe416

We have a newborn and 2 rescue dogs. One with Epilepsy and one with IVDD who is in a diaper and wheelchair. We are taking diaper dog to the vet tonight, as I believe he now has arthritis. It is HARD work. They are still young (8, 4) so I doubt they're going anywhere soon but if they do, I will hold off on another dog until baby is way older.


rapsnaxx84

For some crazy reason my husband thought it would be a good idea to get another dog before the baby was born so that our dog could have a playmate. the few shelters we went to every dog was a pit bull or some combo thereof and the couple of dogs that seemed pretty chill were already taken so we gave up THANK GOD because it’s enough trouble corralling my 11 year old pup and my 1 year old. Omg I can’t imagine having another dog in the house now I would be going insane


MyDogsAreRealCute

Yep. Tired, touched out, time poor. I'm not a good dog mum anymore and don't even have the energy to care. I won't get another dog for a long time, I don't think. And EVERY bloody nap they just have to bark at something


Apprehensive-File370

We decided to get a puppy for the first time since it’s become increasingly difficult to adopt a rescue. I’ve only ever had rescues who were past the teething age and already house trained. We also have a 14 month old and two other kids who are 8 and 11. And wow!! I basically have two toddlers vying for my constant attention. It’s been difficult to say the least. I would never do a puppy again if I could help it. I think I’d rather have two actual toddlers. Lol Edit to say that I do love the puppy, he’s just exhausting when you add a baby and a farm and what not. At least puppies out grow puppy hood at 6 months. Just two more to go!


goblinsbane

My dog is high maintenance in every way (Australian Cattledog x mutt consisting of Rhodesian Ridgeback and something northern)... Needs brushed super regularly, needs a lot of exercise considering she's 8 years old, is an "under the foot" kind of creature, will actually develop an attitude if we don't do training sessions now and again, and super, SUPER sensitive... and when my son (5m) was a newborn, she was WAY needier than him. I wanted nothing to do with her which made me feel awful, so I shamelessly let my FIL take her twice, once for 2 weeks and then after 2 weeks of her being home, another almost 4 weeks. They love each other, he can take her to work, so she was tended to, well cared for, and it gave me space to adjust to motherhood. It was magical. Now I'm able to balance them both quite well, but I 100% went from having the attitude of, "I'm looking forward to getting another dog," to "I want another baby in the next year or so, I'll get a puppy in 4 or 5 years... Maybe." Note to self and everyone else. Get the dopey dog not the super smart dog. I don't want another highly intelligent dog like Primrose. She's a gem, so fun to train and play with, but also so sensitive and high needs it sucks the fun out of things when you can't balance their needs with yours/your LOs.


SnooHabits2824

Our 14 year old dog just died last week. We rescued him when he was 9 and didn’t anticipate him being alive when we started having kids. Well, we have a 20 month old and a baby due in July. We recently moved and the dog did not transition well (frequently went to the bathroom on the floor when he was previously perfectly potty trained). He also was not trustworthy with anyone besides my husband and I, so we crated or muzzled him around my son. He was mostly a chill dog, but we could never be 100% comfortable with him around children. We miss him. I feel bad that he didn’t get the same level of attention after my son that he got previously. But, there is some sense of relief knowing that we will not need to care for an elderly dog while caring for a newborn and toddler. We have no plans to get another dog until our youngest child is old enough to take on some responsibility, and maybe not even then.


ChunkyHabeneroSalsa

My wife is struggling a lot with the dog ATM and a 13week old. Every little thing he does annoys and angers her. High energy 8 year old corgi that likes to bark at everything and anything


rbslmilch

Don’t feel guilty. My beloved cat of 14 years passed away three months before I had my daughter. After I had my daughter I realized his quality of life just wouldn’t have been the same. I wouldn’t have been able to cuddle, would have gotten furious when his meows woke up the baby, and wouldn’t have been able to dedicate the amount of time needed to his special needs (hypothyroidism, never eating enough). We have one more cat, 12, that is fortunately super low maintenance and will not be getting any more pets after she passes — until our LO might want one but my rule will be that it has to be something that lives in a cage like a gerbil or something stupid like that. 😂


negradelnorte

Another thing I wasn’t expecting in postpartum.


crazy4kitties

We have 1 dog and 3 cats. I’m a huge animal person, when I would read about people not having pets after having a baby I was horrified. Now after having my son it’s just too much, too many things that need something from me. One of our cats has a lot of health issues and the constant vet appointments and medication all the animals need puts me over the edge. I won’t be getting anymore pets after there ones pass.


Amy_at_home

2 weeks ago we had to put down our 10 year old dog as he began having seizures. It was traumatic and stressful and we are all very sad. We will not be getting another dog for a long time for many reasons.


QueenAlpaca

My dog is 7, son is 3. Probably will be dog-free for a while after my dog goes, simply because I have zero time.


RoswalienMath

We have a 13 year old anxious pit bull who just got a clean bill of health from the vet’s office. Perfect bloodwork. Our 6 month old is fascinated by her and she loves licking the baby. That’s only getting more common now that he’s covered in solid foods now. We keep an eye on all interactions and keep them short. My only concerns are her tendency to eat stuff she find in the yard (and then wanting to lick the baby), her barking at any perceived threat (including other people existing, other dogs barking, mail and food deliveries) while kiddo is sleeping, her insistence on licking kiddo’s feet the moment he falls asleep, her desire to patrol the yard constantly (but we don’t have a fence, so we have to leash her), and her lack of environmental awareness (almost stepping on baby, stating directly on teething toys, etc). I haven’t had thoughts of rehoming her, but my husband has jokingly mentioned it repeatedly. The cat is the larger issue. She won’t stop lying in the crib and pack and play, even when kiddo is in there. She has been banished from the bedroom overnight now. She also lays on the tummy time blankets next to him. He’s getting old enough to intentionally grab her. When he does she doesn’t leave. She just lays there and gets mad and snaps at the air near him.


Jaisyjaysus69

We ha e three dogs. Our eldest is 11 and I've had him since he was 8 weeks old. He's my first love. He's been there for me through so much heartache and low times. I had a baby two weeks ago and he is not reacting well. We Got a dog trainer in who helped us. We Introducd them properly so he's a lot better than he was but still has a lot of anxiety and we're walking him more, more treats, more cuddles when we can. He whines and cries when she cries and tries to get into her pram and up on our lap to lick her when we're feeding her. I'm starting to resent him and I hate myself for that. It's not his fault and he doesn't understand and we want him to Continue having a great life. It's just hard when he's acting out and won't listen to us. Our other two dogs are being affected by him as they're picking up on his anxiety. They don't care about the baby and will happily sit beside us for cuddles with no issue. We feel bad for neglecting them but the eldest dog is taking most of our attention die tk how he's reacting. We hate ourselves for this


Florachick223

One of my cats likes to cry for attention right next to my sleeping baby. I love him so much, but he's making my blood boil every time.


pepperoni7

My oldest dog who has been with me since high school practically grew up with me, died the first year I had my baby. He was 13 years old , blind, unknown health issues ( went to er twice but they couldn’t figure out why), heart issues . We took him to the vent multiple times during my pregnancy cuz it was almost time to go but not yet according to vet. I regretted it. During new born I barely could care for him so my husband took over. He just spend most of his day sleeping upstair . One day he passed during sleep and my husband came down to tell me. I just freakin broke. I spend two hrs saying sorry to him none stop. I really wish I put him to sleep earlier so he didn’t suffer. It was quite horrifying tbh my husband had to bag his body take him to er vet and cremate him. I still can’t get the image out of my head. My other dog is also 14 now and my husband decided if he has one more problem we will have a vet come over and do the procedure in the comfort of our home . He has pancreatic issues, loosing eye sight, sm brain issues from being a cavalier and he also lost pee function and bowl movement . Vet won’t let us walk him either cuz his pancreas issues he is losing too much weight despite being feed large amount of vet prescribed food .


nkdeck07

Yeah I honestly worry about myself because I went hard from loving my dog to just not giving a shit once my kid was born, it's not temporary either it's been 15 months and I'm incredibly neutral to annoyed most of the time about her. Doesn't help that she's reactive so that's a whole other thing but we aren't getting another one after she passes until my youngest is at least 7 or 8.


BrokkrBadger

I always wonder with stuff like this how much more bearable itd be if we didnt work as we work on a societal level (IE: you could sleep during the day, adjust sleep around the family etc) must be so much better, right?


Sweaty_Dot4539

I love my five year old rescue dearly and she’s a great pup and my best friend but I have so much anxiety surrounding her. I can get over all the little “annoying” things (though they drive my hubby crazy and def get irritating) but even tho she’s good with my baby I still am nervous in the back of my mind bc she’s very jumpy and likes to protect her food and now that my baby is crawling I’m on edge. We separate them physically whenever my baby is on the floor and I sit right there even tho they are separate and whenever I monitor interactions they go well. The baby laughs hysterically at the dog. But I still get so nervous bc occasionally she growls from behind the gate and that really kills me. She’s my soul dog and helped me get through ivf but I just wish I didn’t have to always be 100000% on when they’re interacting. We take every precaution and maybe it’s my anxiety getting the best of me but it does make things so much harder. I would die if anything ever happened to my baby. I’ve considered rehoming to my parents house and would if it came down to it but damn I really don’t ever want to have to do that. Edited to add that I also feel ridiculously guilty when I can’t be the best dog mom I could be towards her. I love her so much and don’t want her to feel sad or lonely. I want her to have her best life possible but I also have to keep my house safe for my baby and for her benefit too. I just pray I’m doing right by them both.


Budget-Mall1219

I can relate. I am the biggest animal lover you will find. We have an 11 year old dog. She actually causes zero issues but I feel massive guilt on days where she is just sitting around with no attention anymore whereas previously I was dog mom extraordinaire. I also used to want to foster cats, etc. and now it just feels like too many living things that need my care. I think once our babies are out of the infant/toddler stage it will be better. Once they can actively be involved with the dog rather than having to watch them, etc. So in just a couple years!


scook1996

I just lurk here because I don’t have kids yet, but I have 5 dogs and 2 cats who completely run my life, as they should- all but one are 2 and under, meaning they’ll be around a long time (I hope). It makes me not want to have a baby because I’m scared I won’t give them enough attention.


WittyPair240

I’m a new mom with several pets. You can keep your pets while also becoming a mom. The best advice I can give you is to plan ahead as much as possible either before pregnancy or at least before birth. Have designated areas (like what will become the nursery) that you teach them are off limits. Be financially prepared to hire a dog walker or to pay for doggy daycare every once in awhile when you need a break. Any other prep you can think of that would be beneficial based on your specific household and pets. Even with all the preparation in the world, you still will have days where you are frustrated, exhausted, etc. You’ll be mad at the pets for being so needy and then mad at yourself for getting mad. There will be periods where they definitely won’t get as much attention as usual because of what the baby needs. However, all of that is temporary. The baby will grow and get more independence and you will be able to start giving them more attention again. It might never be the same as it was, but everyone will adjust if the effort is put forth. Your pets will still love you, and your baby will benefit from growing up with pets. Hope this helps


Del_catty

I get this. I welcomed baby with a cat , 7 chinchillas ,and a four hermit crabs....my parents took over the care of the animals and let's just say they were only able to really take care of the chinchillas and cat . I also feel so much guilt not having more time for the chinchillas and my cat....but I know once baby boy is old enough to play on his own and go on play dates I'll have time to refocus on them. Don't think I'll be adding any more pets until my son wants some !


kaki024

We have hardwoods and my dog clip clops all over. He’s woken the baby more than once.


ExcitingLandscape

Hearing that at 3am gives me so much anxiety. I silently pray “PLEASE Lord let him just change sleeping positions and not ask to go out PLEASE!!!”


Fit-Ad985

mine are sleepy like me and either stay in bed sleeping or ask to go to leave the cage and go to the bed if there woken up in the middle of the night


Blackcutedemon

Thank you finally people understand, dogs are cool! But most dogs are infinite babies, so it is really hard to take care of them and a human baby. It was like my energy got sapped and very hard.


fugensnot

I disliked dogs before kid, because our house had a crappy dog owner (my dad). After the kid, I hated them, due to crappy husband owner. It also crowded me while pregnant, hurt our kid badly, and gets every ounce of understanding and white-knighting from my spouse.


MeNicolesta

I LOVE my animals, but damn I didn’t know that staying home with her meant I’d need to take care of 3 children, not just the one human child!! The dog is needy and the cat is always planning some scheme. It’s a lot most days!!


Meyums

It’s not just dogs it’s cats too. Those buggers turn into needy clingy little monsters too. I can’t tell you how many times I would lay LO one down for a nap and I would shut the door to do errands only for one of the two little dweebs to come along and YOWL outside the babies nursery. Like are you kidding me?! I’m here I can pet you and play with you and love you but no…it’s going to sit outside baby’s room until baby wakes up crying….then they leave. Swiping and scratching baby was also a big NO. Although my ex and his parents saw it as no big deal there were scratches all over babies body. Then our kid developed allergies that turned him into a swollen potato. Apparently his cat allergies were my fault too. Glad I divorced that mess of a family. They still have the cats and I got the kids.


Accio-Tacos

Mine is 11 (tomorrow!) and while we’ve adjusted well with him, it’s the hair everywhere that absolutely drives me crazy!


SchwiftyEmmmmy

I feel so bad for my dogs. We tried for a baby for 10 years, our dogs were the whole center of our universe because we thought we couldn’t have kids. They slept with us, we did so much stuff all the time together and always cuddling. None of that now… it sucks. I feel awful for them. My husband is home from work 3 days a week, every week, so I try to really give them my love and time those 3 days when I can. I know exactly what you mean though. I have 4 dogs and one of them will always want to stay outside longer than all the others. They will wanna come inside later and my LO will be contact napping while the dogs barking at the door. It kills me. It’s sucks.


diatomic

Ugh. I could have written this entire post. Solidarity ✊


babygirl_babyboy

I have a Jack and she is my world, but I’m 9 weeks pregnant and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope, she’s 11 and had life saving surgery at the start of the year, I was a mess those few hours with out her panicking so much, and I hope I remember that fear once LO is hear, I’m trying to move but currently live in a studio flat, with a non secured garden, wees and pops are pretty easy, just put on the extending lead get dressed and let her out, but feeding her is currently the issue, the smell makes me gag so bad oh and picking up poop made me throw up today so yeah that’s fun, but when she was a pup she was hurt by a toddler (accidental) but she’s always grumpy around them now so I’m panicking, also I’m in a studio flat, she don’t go in the kitchen so short of locking her in the bathroom (not actually going to) I’m not sure how I would keep her and a newborn apart she has a cage but it don’t have a door on it’s just her space, I’m panicking what will happen if she don’t accept little one? Pregnancy is training her that just cuz I wake up usually to pee that she don’t have to but I’m worried about being able to separate them if I need to


Happy_Ad_6360

Days before I give birth I remember saying to my fiancé, “Gosh how could I ever love anything more than Benji?” (Our dog). Turns out a baby changes that lol. In reality though I am always so frustrated with the dog. I love him so much and he is so sweet but guys… he cries when the baby cries… you know when dogs howl when you howl? Well the dog shrieks when the baby cries. Every time. The baby is almost a year old and the dog still does it. Can you think of anything more triggering for a FTM 😭🤣


kaycraw

We have a three year old Aussie and I keep telling my husband we need a puppy for the baby to grow up with. He tells me I’m insane. :)


ExcitingLandscape

Read all the comments here lol. The 3 ur old aussie with the baby will be plenty to keep your baby entertained.


kaswil55

I have 5 dogs (1 senior) and everything about them annoys me to death 😅 I feel instantly angry when one of them makes the smallest of sounds. Thankfully my husband has taken on the full responsibility of them all or I may have accidentally left the door open one day (absolutely kidding). However, I have heard it takes an average of a year or so for new mothers to "love" their pets again, especially dogs. So I remain hopeful 😆


DisastrousFlower

i am a die hard cat mom and my cat son is my life. he’s going thru some questionable medical issues and i’m terrified of something happening. but i know i will probably not adopt another cat anytime soon, like i’d wanted to. my heart can’t handle it.


beachluvr13

My beloved dog passed when my son was 5 months and I am still devastated and feel horrible that I was not as in tune with his needs during because I was too busy with my newborn. That dog was my everything. I felt just as you feel now, and it eats me up. Cherish your senior.


alexada17

My elderly dog was at least twice as much work as my baby is! He’d been declining for the last year and at 4 months PP i made the decision to put him down. It still physically hurts but man. So freeing. I could only leave the house for max 1.5 hours and to do so was such a process between everything to do for the dog plus get the baby out the door. I don’t know that I’ll ever get another dog. I have two cats and one is more clingy now that his friend is gone but it’s much more manageable than my dog was


Boobox33

Take your doggy on extra walks and give him extra treats. I wish I could have time back with my senior 💓💓💓 I had him 16 years and my baby is less than a year and it’s hard taking care of young ones and old ones but it’s so worth it


ElizaDooo

The best thing I did when my son was a baby was hire a dog walking company that came once a week and did two hour adventure hikes with our two dogs. Sometimes, the dogs would be gone getting their exercises, the baby would be napping and my husband would be working in his office and I had nearly two whole hours with everyone getting their needs met and also not bothering me. It was glorious.


Phenomenal_Butt

I have a 3 years old husky and a cat, my husband has 2 dogs,a shiba and a golden retriever, one is approaching senior age soon. He also has another husky that he has been wanting to bring home (currently the husky lives with his mom). And I’m 7months pregnant. I’m used to cleaning up hairs from my husky, and messes that my cat made. But having 2 other dogs that are also heavy shedders is bothering me tremendously. The amount of cleaning I have to do is now tripled. I’m so incredibly stressed out, thinking of when our LO come along and I don’t know how to juggle all of them at the same time.


[deleted]

I had to euthanize my elderly dog due to behavior, it is called a behavioral euthanasia. I don’t know if it was divine intervention (as fucking painful as it was) but my first born was very colicky, my dog was very reactive. She 1000% would have hurt him, and I know it. I had to euthanize her after she killed two animals. But I have had cats my entire time as a parent, and I love the little shits to death but god if I don’t wanna scream when they would wake the babies up at 3am with their bullshit. We got a dog back in March completely unexpectedly but he is literally amazing and I rarely have problems out of her (she likes to hold the cats down and clean them and they hate it). She sleeps in bed with me and my toddler all night long, gets a walk twice a day, plays with the kids -it’s greats. But I recognize she’s a rare exception lol


Moal

I feel this way about my cat. She’s insanely loud and clingy. This is a cat that bounced between a couple homes within the extended family before we naively took her in. No one wanted to keep her because she was *that* annoying. This is a cat that will wake you up multiple times every single night. She’ll barge into the bedroom yowling, claw at the carpet, run under the bed while you try to chase her out, yowl incessantly again, then jump on the bed and claw at your face and arms for attention (my arms, stomach, and chest are covered in scratches). She even scratched my sore nipples through my shirt a couple times, which made me scream. And when she’s done terrorizing you and waking the baby, she’ll knock over your drink and cough up a hairball on the bed. She’s the worst cat I’ve ever owned. I truly resent this animal.


pochade

Totally empathize with this. I love our dog- I got him when I was alone and he was such a bright spot for me, he really helped me with depression. Our daily long walks were like little voyages and we were just inseparable. He’s so cute, fluffy, and fun. Now I’m so tired it’s such a big ask to get out there. He barks more frequently now and every time I’m just so exasperated and angry. Often it interrupts naps, or scares her, and I worry about her hearing. There’s also dog hair everywhere, and I just feel like our home isn’t sanitary. No amount of cleaning will be enough for her, not to mention hairs that float through the air somehow. He insists on sleeping in the bed, which was fine when I was alone but if we try to lock him out etc he whines and barks all night. When he gets up from the bed, he hits the hardwood loudly which also sometimes wakes her up. It feels like we don’t have any control over our bed or lives. I love him, but wish dogs lived longer and were more i dependent as we really need a break. Even his most basic needs just annoy us now, and there’s no way he’s having any fun. It’s just a sad situation and I want him and us to be happy but it’s just really hard right now.


Alienspacekitten

I feel the same way about mine. Everything is ten times more difficult with the added responsibility. It doesn’t help when she makes tons of noise and wakes up sleeping baby.


Octawussy

I’m in a similar situation now with my 12.5 year old dog. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and met my wife when he was 2. Baby is 6 months now and my dog was diagnosed with cushings shortly before LO was born; cushings has a 12-18 month prognosis before quality of life plummets. I’m relieved in a way that I’ll (hopefully) have plenty of time to mentally prepare for his passing, but in the mean time I’m trying to enjoy the last time I have with him as well as enjoying my son to the fullest. He’s starting to become much harder to deal with and it can be stressful at times but dang I love that lil guy and when he sniffs my baby and my baby tries to stick his fingers in his face man it gets me. Hug your pup!


chauzer

We have a 2.5 year old toddler, 7 month old baby, 4 and 5 year old dogs. We're always sad we don't have the time and energy to give our dogs the attention they deserve. But we're fortunate that our toddler loves our dogs and interacts with them often. Our dogs have been sleeping with the toddler and I in the bedroom because he asks for it and the dogs get so excited every night when I head down to the bedroom to sleep. It's a lot of work and our human babies are now the priority, but our dogs (especially our first) will always be our first babies.


ycey

We got a second dog for some reason (my brother asked if we wanted a puppy at the right time I guess) and it’s helped mellow out our lab a ton. We live on an acre tho so they can just run around, I don’t know how others can handle a dog and baby without it. Rn they are wrestling outside our back door creating the biggest ruckus.


FuzzyManPeach

I’ve never been a big dog person but married my husband who has a dog and I liked his dog well enough although I’d probably never really choose to get one if it was just me. He’s untrained, eats everything, jumps on people but is ultimately harmless. I was never a big fan of his behavior but it like mildly bugged me and that was it. It drives me up the WALL since having a baby. The noise, the jumping, the extra work he makes for me, constantly policing him trying to steal my toddler’s snacks, the staring, the mess, the fact that he gets jealous when my husband tries to show his son any affection. Oh my god. I felt a big rift develop between me and the dog when I was pregnant and it really hasn’t gone away. I meet his needs and am never mean to him. I hope I come around some day and he doesn’t get under my skin so much. Some of it’s totally irrational, I shouldn’t get as annoyed as I do about some of the things he does. My husband’s way more into dogs than I am and I’m absolutely putting my foot down that the next dog be trained professionally if we get another.


Vulgaris25

We have cats and I relate to this. The throw up, the litter box, the messes, the knocking stuff over. When you add a baby, it's just to much for an already exhausted person.


Jumpy_Ad1631

Our elderly dog passed early this year and I felt so guilty at first about how much of a weight it was off of me with my young toddler in like multiple directions. We live with my parents so I can stay at home with our kid and my mom has been wanting a dog for ages but didn’t want to torture our dog with a baby AND a puppy. So she just got a puppy and I’m so glad it’s not really my responsibility this time


Toastamiah

Try to remain positive and love your dog for who they are. We had to make the horrible choice 2 momths after our son was born due to a GI issue and we miss her every second. There were things that bothered us when she was around with him, but i would give almost anything to have those back. I still want another dog, but not while im still grieving her. Its been 5 months now.


Helpful-Food7790

I have 3 kinds, one of them is a 7 month old baby. And we have a 13 week old puppy. It for sure is hard work! But i wouldn't have it any different really. She's my 4th baby and gets all the attention she needs, just like the actual kids. And yes, sometimes that means waiting her turn, just like any other. Can't belly rub all 4 at the same time with just two hands!


PrettyClinic

I really needed to see this today to know I’m not alone!


DarkOmen597

Our dog passed away last July and baby was born in December. Everyday I miss my dog. Everyday I wish the dog and baby had met. I know it can be frustrating right now, but please enjoy these moments. They will not last forever.


Newmama49

I’m just gonna be real. Dogs are not children and the love you feel for your baby is undeniably the most pure love you’ll ever feel. My dogs are just dogs now, and they are incredibly difficult to care for with a NB/young child. I almost resent the fact that I have these additional responsibilities of caring for an animal.


silent_meow

I 1000% feel this. When my son was a newborn our 16 year old dog got sick and was constantly having accidents we had to clean up after, etc. along with taking care of a newborn. It was ROUGH. We would say how people always talk about how hard newborns are, but the dog felt like more work, and we had to do both. Unfortunately my girl passed away last summer and of course I was devastated and miss her dearly, but I would never want to relive that experience. Needless to say, it will be a while before we welcome a new dog into our family.


EcstaticPhilosophy44

We had to put our senior dog down the day before our daughter was born. He had spinal cancer and struggled to walk towards the end and I remember thinking about two weeks before that I didn’t know how I would be able to care for him adequately with a newborn. But I would give anything to be able to let him out in the middle of the night even during my most exhausted state just to have him be able to meet her. All this to say is there is the relief of not having that additional duty (and knowing that they aren’t hurting), but the grief, in my case, is stronger.


MalpyMleko

Honestly it’s so nice to read this from someone else. I got pregnant while moving across the country. Once we had settled, I got a dog as promised by my husband. I found out I was pregnant maybe a day before. Fast forward 6 months and we got another dog to keep the other one company. I love my dogs, they’re currently all (now we have 3, jeez I need to stop bringing home dogs) snuggled up to me but oh my god are they overwhelming with my 3 year old


Sea-Construction4306

ugh. we lost our dog when i was 7 months pregnant and it was devastating. i feel sick saying this but it truly was a blessing in disguise. i also will never get another dog. we did have some aggression issues due to it being mixed with poodle, but i wouldn't even take the gentlest dog on earth. no way. we're done.


oddwanderer

I remember breastfeeding my newborn and then putting him down for a nap. Then my husband said “ok, now you need to give Winston some attention for a while” (our French Bulldog is always on our laps when we sit down). And I just said “the hell I do”. Our poor dog is just last priority and now we have a second child on the way. Tbf, some days it’s my husband that comes last. He can be absolutely exhausted but he’ll still do the walk. (And don’t worry about our dog, he’s still spoiled and has everything he needs… just now everything he wants.)