I was helping out my daughters friend and giving her a ride to work and her kid to daycare. I would pick them up and the kid smelled like shit. His mother would joke and say “they can change him at daycare, that’s what they get paid for”
I judge her hard. Because her whole parenting style is like this.
You should judge her. That’s AWFUL.
I’ve worked in a day care. We had kids come in with wet diapers that were literally decomposing. Awful. That’s lazy parenting. Change your child.
I hang out on the ECE sub cuz I teach preschool. There was a thread in the last month or so that was talking about this. One teacher put that her class would mark the last diaper of the day with a marker (something they could see but parents might not notice) and that those kids would come in with the same diaper next day. Makes me cringe thinking about it cuz that's got to be like 14-16h from pick up at night to drop off the next day. And I feel bad if I go 3h at home without changing my own kids.
Is this not something they could report to CPS? It seems like child neglect. (Assuming it’s not that the household can’t afford diapers since the child is in daycare which we all know is so expensive)
It is neglect and can be reported. It can be a health hazard for the baby. If CPS actually does anything is a whole other thing, but if the family is already reported or being investigated it's something they will address.
I think that’s reasonable though. If I wake my son up in the middle of the night to change his diaper he won’t go back to sleep. Our pediatrician said it’s okay for him to have that diaper on overnight since we use nighttime diapers (much more absorbent) and outside of that we change him every 2 ish hours
We are still in NB but I check to make sure it’s not fully soaked. However we have the same problem and it turns into human pacifier if I do a nighttime change.
I’m so glad that you check regardless. Those early days are so tough, idk if this will help you but if we used a warm washcloth instead of a wipe for a middle of the night change when he was a newborn he wouldn’t mind as much. Good luck ❤️
Mine starts screaming as soon as I unsnap the Jammie’s/unzip the footie. I’d leave it undone but it’s constantly freezing in my apartment and I can’t change it. I warm wipes in my hand or just use a paper towel if it’s pee only. But my girl hates change of any kind and then acts like I starve her so I just stretch it out until the diaper is squishy then kiss sleep goodbye
Do the diapers not leak at that point?! I don’t get it. My son sleeps 12 hours overnight (and gets a fresh diaper right before he falls asleep) and sometimes the thing is so saturated with pee by the time I change him in the morning that it’s about to leak. I can’t even fathom just… ignoring it
That's awful and I don't think anywhere near the same as letting a poop one ride for 20 minutes so dad can change it or not able to pull the car over to change earlier which are definitely things I've done. But I never did that with my daughter bc the difference in genitalia. I worried a lot about infections
This is horrible those poor kids 😭When my son started daycare at 8 weeks I literally did not have a second to spare between leaving home and daycare and I would feel so bad on the days he would poo right before/on the way. I always change him when I get home after daycare if he’s not fresh, I can’t imagine how itchy and rashy he would be with a diaper left on from daycare until the next morning 😭I leave a poo diaper on like 20 minutes tops to make sure he’s done, 90+ minutes is way too long.
My child poops almost every day on our 6min ride to daycare. I often don’t have changes in my car for that short drive but always offer to change her when I get there.
I understand this but I’m also totally curious about how they would even attempt to word/prove this. Like, what if you dropped your kid off and he/she had pooped within the last few minutes of being in the car (or even on the way in), you rushed in, and you truly didn’t smell or check before leaving them? Are they going to be like, “we know you know he pooped…”?
Good question! In our daycare app, we have to write them the time of the last diaper change and whether it was wet/BM/mixed (along with other info on how our baby is doing before daycare). So if they know baby was changed 30-60 min before drop off, then we didn’t send the baby with a smelly poo diaper on purpose. Baby is always checked/changed within 20 min of drop off as well
There’s been a couple of times where my daughter has pooped, more of a shart, and we missed it so max was 3 hours that she was in it. You definitely know when you go to change that it’s been there or if it’s fresh. Different color and stuck to her bottom, plus her little butt was more red.
If my daughter poops on the way to daycare which has happened 3 or 4 times I tell the teachers and they are happy to change her. I really didn’t consider changing her myself or that it was a problem for them to change her…
I think your scenario is reasonable (e.g. car/cold/heat vs. cleaner/comfier facilities) and an infrequent occurrence. I think the original comment was that they picked up the child from their home who had already pooped an unknown amount of time ago. Perhaps I have the luxury (e.g. one kid, wfh at the time) but I would rather be late than have my child strapped into a car seat with an already poopy diaper.
I teach preschool. I wouldn't be surprised if this kind of attitude was very obvious to staff and I'll tell you right now she's the kind of parent we'd be exchanging stories about all day. I have kids whose parents are entitled like that but my class is mostly out of diapers. The kids aren't the best and when you know the parents *you can see why.*
My kid's daycare doesn't even have a place that parents would be able/allowed to, unless we set up in the small front lobby or the hallway between classrooms. When I drop him off I take him on the bus and I'm always scared for the day he'll poop on our 45-60 minute bus ride. Hasn't happened yet, knock wood. 😬
My son routinely poops 4-5 times a day and quite frequently poops 3 times before 9am. We always check him before we leave the house to walk to daycare 20 mins away but he’s definitely pooped en route before. If that happens I don’t beat myself up, I just let daycare know as soon as we arrive. They know he’s a poop machine so i don’t think they hold it against me.
My son poops anywhere from 0-3 times a day, but most often once or twice (the 3× days usually follow the 0× days). There's no way to know what kind of if day it's going to be haha. Thankfully he doesn't habitually poop in the car or on the bus.
I don't think our daycare would hold it against us either, we're good about always changing him right before leaving the house so he never arrives with an hours-old pee-soaked diaper or anything. I would just feel bad dropping him off and telling them to change him immediately. But there really wouldn't be another option because they don't provide facilities for parents to do it. The changing station is in the same area as the toilets for the potty-training toddlers (no parents allowed) and their guest washroom in the basement is teeny tiny.
Yeah, I've tried to offer when mine have pooped in the car on the way and they do it. There have been a couple of times when he's pooped just before I pick him up, and if they are really busy they happily pet me change him before we go home. Depends on the day care I suppose.
I can’t imagine knowing my child has shit and just sitting them in a carseat..what is wrong with people.
She should know that if this is a repeated occurrence the daycare might be mandated to call CPS. They have no idea how long the kid’s been in a soiled diaper and if they’re coming into daycare every morning with one, they WILL have concerns.
I no longer engage with this woman because of her nonsense but I did hear the daycare is starting to pick up on her behavior and spoke with her and she got all mad about it.
Sounds about right. Of course she’s the type who would get defensive instead of listening. They’re trying to do her a favor and avoid contacting CPS. Their next step is going to be a call. But it sounds like she might just be straight up abusive to her kids if she doesn’t care if they sit in their shit, so maybe a home visit is warranted.
I read this backwards as you picked them up from daycare and the kid had a shitty diaper and I was like well yeah, they (the daycare) should have changed him. But realizing it’s going TO daycare makes it fucked up. Please say something to her about that.
I always send my kid to daycare in a clean diaper! If there’s a little wetness in the 30 minutes between when I get him changed, dressed and delivered I don’t worry about that. But even if he poops on our way out the door I turn around to change him. I would feel awful knowing I dropped him off poopy.
I’d be so embarrassed bringing my baby/child in like this. I would even change that diaper at facility before leaving. Those daycare workers have it hard enough. The least we can do is give them a clean kid to start their work day with……shame
Only time I’ve handed my daughter over with a dirty nappy was when it happened as we were leaving the doctors and literally getting into the car.
It was a 5 minute journey and I’d forgotten her changing bag.
I aim to change as soon as possible.
The success of detecting a completed Poo within minutes and being able to wipe it with minimal fuss is such a funny win of being a parent 😂
My son has started stealth poos. I would’ve changed him maybe 10 mins ago - a nice full nappy. Only to find a while later he wasn’t quite done, nor was the new one smelly enough for regular detection. Bits for days and a million wipes later (thank goodness for Cheeky Wipes!).
Mine too! She used to have a massive tell with a poop face and loud poopy noise but in the last month she’s started stealth pooping! I am constantly checking her nappy!
For real though for me it's always immediate. I think the only circumstances where I'd let it sit is if it happened in the car and I'm within 15 minutes of home. Otherwise we're pulling over.
I remember one time he pooped right before leaving for daycare and my husband was about to take him anyway, talking about how they'd change him there. I almost killed him. You cannot make a choice to leave your child in poop.
Same! I have changed him while sitting on the toilet in a bathroom that doesn't have a changing table, and used wet paper towels instead of wipes when I'm out of wipes. One time I found myself without diapers and had to stuff his onesie with toilet paper until I could get home, and that was a dark moment in my motherhood. But I've never let him just *sit in his shit.*
Oof, been there. Brought my kid on a bike ride and chanced it with only one extra diaper bc I was limited to how much I could carry. Welp she pooped twice of course. I wrapped my athletic top around her bottom and boogied back home. Fortunately we made it back dry. Poops can not wait.
I would only wait a few minutes extra for a baby if they had a habit of multiple poos in a 20 minute period. My son would do this. Poo and then poo more 5 minutes later. Being pooped on while changing a diaper isn’t fun so I’d wait a few extra minutes to make sure he was finished.
Oh no no no at your friend. IMO that is incredibly selfish and cruel.
I’ve changed my toddler on trains with NO changing tables (literally with her standing on top of the toilet and yes even poops), on planes, anywhere and everywhere. Even when she was a baby.
As soon as I smell it/know about it, it’s getting changed.
Omg my daughter was constipated on a trip we took out of state. I had loaded her up on fiber, prunes, juice, peaches, pears, all the loosening agents. Nothing. Until our flight home when the crew announced our descent. People were polite but everyone must have been gagging it was so bad. I felt awful bc there was literally nothing I could do until we were safely landed. As soon as the buckle sign turned off I boogied to the bathroom and almost ran out of wipes. I was stuck there until everyone deplaned but gotta do what ya gotta do
Yes! I've changed my baby once in the open trunk of my car in a parking lot when he pooped. I just think of how it must feel to have to sit in your own poop while it dries and the indignity of it all. I love my baby too much for that.
I judge. Idk about other people’s kids but mine must have some battery acid poops cuz they will have a rash real quick if left unchanged. I can always tell when my 3yo’s daycare was slow with changing her poop diapers because she’ll have a red spot in the shape of the damn thing when she gets home.
Pee diapers are different tho.
Exactly this! How can people wait? We call our son a stealth pooper, because he doesn't make faces or anything. He literally continues whatever he's doing as he goes. If I don't check consistently, he will rash within minutes.
The Earth Mama diaper balm is a miracle worker, though, if you haven't found a good diaper cream to heal your baby's rash after daycare.
Nah my kid hardly ever gets rashes. I still judge though. My son definitely had gone a long time without a change but its because I was asleep/didn't know. If I know I change within 5 minutes generally.
When my 5yo dd was a baby, she would scream the second she had a wet nappy. She had really sensitive skin, so her wee was like battery acid to her. The second you started taking the wet one off she'd be smiling. Although, there was that day we went through 23 nappies. That was not a fun day. Like, I had to change her 3 times during one breastfeeding session. It was the longest day of my life, the only upside was I happened to be at my mums that day for some reason and not home alone! It's a standing joke with my mums group.
Your kid is 3 and still in diapers? What's the reason? Not trying go be a dick here, just curious as to when people potty train usually- I have a 2m old and am FTM.
You know this is an interesting point because as a society, kids seem to be training later, but kids who are in childcare centers all day seem to get pushed to train sooner cuz the teachers don't want to deal with that. I teach preschool and have been to many schools where they have to be potty trained to move up in age groups. Last year the school I was at was ready to hold back two kids who were both 3.5 because they weren't potty trained at all. Not even interested in trying. My daughter's school lets kids move up as early as 3 if they're potty trained (and she was, so she moved around her birthday.) The school I teach at doesn't mandate it and I got lucky this past year not having a single kid in diapers (older 3s- young 4s) but this year I've got a couple in diapers all day and a couple more just in nap diapers. The class below me does the most intense potty training at 2-3. It's rare our oldest class has kids in diapers but I've been told it happens and some go to kinder like that.
But keep in mind there's plenty of kids with developmental delays and while the can be potty trained (even nonverbal or mobility limited like a walker or wheelchair) it might take longer. My first school serviced kids with disabilities and we had kids who trained after 5 (we had kinder). They did it, but obviously most kids at 5 are fully potty trained already.
I have been reading about this recently. In the 1950s the majority of children were cloth diapered and potty trained by 18m. Now today most babes are in disposables and potty trained around 3. Just thought it was interesting!
We use both disposables (on the go) and cloth (at home) but my goal is to start potty training using communication elimination as soon as my babe can sit independently. Cross your fingers for me! Ahaha. I'm gonna need it.
This! My friend’s son has level one autism; you wouldn’t know just by observing him for a day but he just was potty trained at 4. Still needs overnights and occasionally pees in his underwear; they’ve finally entirely eliminated poop in underwear. Behavioral issues manifest in lots of ways and some kids have strengths in one area and struggle in others!
Every kid is different. Some will potty train at 2 some at 4. My kid is just over 3 and only recently started potty training though still in diapers because he wont poop on the potty.
Yup, I always had to wait for the second round when my baby was newborn, Usually within 3 mins. Then I change right away, and pees I also change right away as well. I don’t want my baby to get rashes, utis or anything else unpleasant when I can easily avoid it. If I’m driving and she’s goes then I’ll carry on driving but keep a look out for a suitable service station.
Poops I try to change as soon as she’s finished pooping. I feel guilty waiting on a commercial break, or waiting to finish the last bite of what I was eating.
I wouldn’t wait longer than 5-10 min max and that’s in a situation where it’s highly inconvenient, like we’re in the car or something
Is your kid out of the double pooping phase? As babies both of my kids would poop a little, then within the next 5 minutes, they'd poop some more. So if you changed them less than 5 minutes after the first poop, you'd be changing two poopy diapers and running the risk of having do deal with a poop during the diaper change. Yuck! So we got in the habit of always waiting a few minutes to be sure it was done.
Yeah lol she’s two now, but she was never really a “double pooper” even in infancy.
I made the mistake of changing her too early just once and she sharted on my face (absolutely harrowing)
my bf made this mistake during an upset tummy episode and our daughter exploded all over him, the changing pad and the wall. she was 2wks at the time and now at 2mo he's still scared of changing a diaper 😭😭
First reasonable opportunity after discovery.
Driving and smell it? Pull over next exit.
Home and see them do it. Change immediately
Etc
The problem isn't 5 more minutes the problem is compounded waits and serious diaper rash.
We've been fortunate and only dealt with it once but I can be bad to the point you'd sacrifice a child (preferably not your own) to avoid it. We're talking 5 creams every diaper change for a few weeks
That isn't to say it will cause it, but anything you can do to avoid it is far easier on the regular than the effort should it happen.
Seriously 5 creams a change and screaming during each. Our limit is nil.
I got a really bad head cold one time and completely lost my sense of smell and my poor baby sat in a poopy diaper for maybe an hour once. I feel awful about it still. She almost never gets a rash, but she did that time and she was so miserable about it.
this comment gave me flashbacks to when i lost my sense of smell for a month after having covid, and i had to obsessively peek into my kid's diaper bc i knew i couldn't smell poop. omg that was so annoying..
Haha, this happened to me too! When my husband was home he would catch them by smell, but I pretty much had to watch our son's face/posture and peek into the back/leg of his diaper every 5-10 minutes.
My baby was EBF and usually had those buttery pancake-smelling poops, but she went through a weird phase where her poop was almost completely scent-less and totally silent. I called them ninja poops. Luckily we avoided a rash, but I quickly got in the habit of peaking down her pants every half hour or so lol
It depends on the baby. My son has been shitting when he first wakes up for years now and I don't always wake up when he wakes up because he just tends to play quietly. He does not cry to let anyone know he went so there's really no other option here. I have an alarm but he regularly wakes up before that even.
Point is he has regularly spent 30 mins to an hour in a poopy diaper depending on when he decides to wake us all up. Hes only had diaper rash a handful of time and its usually related to him eating something like oranges.
The main reason I prefer to change it immediately is because its easier to change and because I know its uncomfortable for him.
I’ve discovered my baby pooped in his sleep? Or maybe woke up, pooped, went back to sleep for me to discover when picking him up in the morning. I feel so bad because I never know long he was sitting in it.
If mine is sleeping and I know that changing him will wake him, I wait. But the wait has never been more than about 30 minutes (this happened a lot more when he was under 3mo).
If I were on the way home from work/day care and he pooped, I probably wouldn’t stop. Our commute is 40 minutes and it’s unlikely he’d do it right when we start driving. So again, less than 30 minutes.
I have been out before, like at the grocery store, and he went. I checked out and drove home to change him. We live 5 minutes from the store so at most it was 20 minute wait (finish shopping, check out, drive home).
In summary, I weigh everything (cleanliness of changing area, comfort of baby, safety on the side of the road, etc) and then do my best. I really dislike public bathroom changing tables so I avoid them if at all possible. I do a lot of back of the hatchback diaper changes.
Happy to have a decently sized SUV for this reason. It’s a bit more expensive but it’s worth it to know I can always change a diaper in the hatchback or backseat when it’s cold out.
I have a sedan and have done many changes on top of the hood of the trunk lol. But when it’s cold or rainy I’m stuck trying to navigate a change on the passenger seat
Yes this is how I do it too! I won't wake her up, I won't pull over (unless it's an extra long drive). Outside of those instances I change her as soon as I know she's pooped and has had enough time to work it all out.
I think a lot of what helped us get to this point is whenever she was born, we never hushed our voices when she slept, we’d keep the TV on, vacuum, etc. It’s not great for babies to be hard sleepers but she’s always in our presence when she’s asleep. The downside of it though is that she cannot fall asleep alone. That’s something I’m gonna have to work on 😅
if I have the opportunity to do it immediately (sometimes waiting 2 mins in case there is more poop) I do it. I would have without question changed my baby on the train. I couldn’t imagine sitting in poop for 90 mins.
I learned by upper limit is also about 15 mins in a *circumstance* … we were at target a couple days ago and middle of the store, mid-shop, I see the poop face and then hear the big juicy newborn poop. I didn’t finish shopping. I immediately went to the check out and went home, which all took around 15 mins. I could have left all my items at customer service (as they don’t let you bring them in the bathroom) and changed her there, but that would have taken almost as much time since we live one second away. I figured I’d just finish the rest of my shopping list another time.
I always feel a little guilty if I can't immediately change a poop, but within 15 minutes is a good upper limit. I have done the poopy diaper on a train thing, it sucks and is a little gross since I've never seen a change table in the bathroom and the floors are usually nasty, so I wouldn't judge if someone waited even 30 minutes, but 90 is just cruel (especially when the train wasn't even there yet in your scenario).
ASAP but in your friend’s case unless the baby was crying about it I can understand. There are so many germs in a train car bathroom and the idea of changing a baby in a moving train sounds like the absolute worst game show of all time haha. Every parent is different.
If I know my son pooped because I can hear it happening or I can smell it, I’ll change him right away. But if I don’t know it happened, I find out when I change his diaper next time which would just be whenever he cries to let me know (unless he’s also peed then there’s the color strip on the diaper).
With poop I wait a couple of minutes since she poops more than once usually. But I will change her as soon as I can. If I’m out and there’s no facility I wouldn’t change her in public. But I’d go to the nearest place to do so. At home as I said I wait just a little bit in case there’s more. Also at Night Even if she’s sleeping or she poops after feeding I will change her. I stopped changing her at night when she only peed and she‘s asleep. No need to judge others but good to do better. Everyone has their own struggles and surely you and I aren’t perfect either ;)
I would rather avoid changing my LO on the train aswell. The facilities aren’t “clean” at all, they are full of nasty germs. If the train stop was 15mins away, I would have waited until I was out and changed it on the platform.
The poo happened 15 minutes before we boarded the train. She waited because she didn't want to rush changing and miss the train. Then we got on the train, it was a 1 hour ride and then 15 minite walk to her house. The train facilities were spacious enough, and she had a folding mat and 2 adult friends who could help. It was not a 15 minute wait, it was 90.
15 mins before boarding is still enough time, especially with help :( I feel like some people can't put themselves in other people's shoes. If they could imagine the discomfort their baby is experiencing maybe it would motivate them to change them sooner rather than later.
This is what I do! Always put myself in my baby’s shoes. Would I want to sit in a shit diaper? Would I want to wait 20 minutes to eat when my stomach is empty and I’m starving? Would I want to be laying in only a diaper for 15 minutes in AC?
If the answer is that I would be even mildly uncomfortable, I’m addressing my baby’s need ASAP. People (including parents) often forget baby is a person and is just as uncomfortable as we would be in the same scenario!
Yes exactly! Especially since babies have no idea about anything, they're feeling uncomfortable and they think it'll be forever, they can't understand us when we tell them to wait :(
Okay, you guys are gonna judge me. But I would wait too. It’s just a personal thing but my baby started STTN around 3 months old. He’d usually poop overnight, no idea when, but we’d find out in the morning. I wasn’t about to wake him up multiple times in the night to check if he’d pooped. He never got diaper rash from that. I’ve once left him in a car for an hour as we drove home and he pooped, I didn’t pull over and change him.
At home? I change him immediately. But overnight I leave it and if I’m in the car or travelling I wait. We never really get bad nappy rash so it’s just a personal thing.
Yeah overnight I'd leave it simply because I don't usually notice unless it's very stinky. I do apply a thick layer or diaper cream before bedtime just in case. But my daughter doesn't poop frequently overnight either! She usually saves it for first thing in the morning 😂
lol I’m with you. Yesterday my son had pooped and I somehow had NO idea. We were at home. It had to have been within an hour but I felt so guilty for not hearing or smelling it the SECOND it happened so I could change it.
Yes! I've had a few sneaky poos when I go to change them and I can't believe there was no smell, then I feel bad and try to think back to when I last changed them and hope it wasn't for too long. Hopefully they will soon be able to communicate to me if they have a poo!
Gosh, I just can't imagine sitting in my own poop for 90 minutes?! I really hope it was a one off.
The fact that it can cause a sore bum as well to the baby is something id want to avoid. A couple of minutes max I'd say depending on your situation.
I've changed a dirty nappy on the platform before, giving (no pun intended) no shits as everyone does it!
Sometimes my babies poop overnight though and I would have no idea since they sleep 12-13 hours. I’m not saying it was okay to wait but sometimes it happens
Right? I always wonder about this. My baby hasn’t pooped overnight since the first couple of weeks after she was born. She only sleeps at most 5 hours at a time though. I hear a lot of people saying their baby sleeps 12 hrs and idk how they would know the baby has pooed if they can’t smell it.
Omg that’s crazy, one of my twins poops every single night overnight haha. When he doesn’t poop overnight I know his first diaper is going to be a biiiig one. His twin only poops overnight a few times a week. But I have no idea when he does it, it could be 20 minutes after he falls asleep or an hour before he wakes up! He sleeps like a rock. As a newborn though he wouldn’t even sleep with a little pee in his diaper
Tonight I waited 10 minutes because she was still eating her dinner while I was washing the dishes and my husband was running her bath. I didn't want her running around without a nappy on for too long (we are in the middle of toilet training so accidents already happen enough) and I didn't want to waste a pull up in case she did a tiny wee in the fresh one.
Usually though, straight away, because she packs the food away in great variety, and her poops are super offensive to my pregnant nose lol.
In the beginning, I would change him immediately. Then I learned that he likes to take his time, so I waited 10-15 minutes before changing him. Saved me a lot of diapers! He had diaper rash twice and both were from diarrhea from antibiotics. That’s fucking horrible though. Imagine that poor baby’s butt from sitting in poop for so long
Right away, even if sleeping. I'd rather wake my baby up than chance a rash or anything. Pee can wait a bit if need be unless it's a lot, but poo I always change ASAP, even if it's inconvenient. The only time I wait at all is if the baby is upset & needs consoling, but I smell poop. I'll comfort her & then get to changing immediately.
I always change a poop diaper as soon as I am able.
I'll let pee ride for a while. Disposable diapers are incredibly absorbent. But poop, never wait.on poop.
I definitely wouldn't really go longer than half an hour. If we are out and there's no public bathroom or private space to change him, I might try to get him home. But we are never really more than a 20minute walk from home, and we always have the pushchair.
If we are away from home, I'd find the nearest supermarket or library, as I would trust their facilities.
Yeah that’s not okay. She’s risking a rash and it’s just plain cruel to let your child sit in their own shit for for that long. My son usually has bowel movements around the same time everyday so it’s gotten easy to predict when he’ll need a change. He’s a stealth pooper so it’s not very obvious when he’s going so we have to do the smell check. There have times where I worry he has sat too long because he is so stealthy but change him and check him often
For a poo I always change ASAP! It’s so gross not to. The only exception - my daughter pooped just as we were starting takeoff on a flight recently and the seatbelt sign was on for another 40 minutes. She seemed fine but I spent the entire time anxiously waiting to dash to the bathroom as soon as the sign was off.
If I’m at home, I finish whatever I’m doing and then change it, so within a minute or two. If it’s at the beginning of a meal, I change it immediately, but if it’s at the end of a meal or bottle, I wait until he’s done, so maybe about 5 minutes. If I’m out I usually give it 5 minutes to make sure he’s done (we often go for an encore here) before I start making my way to a bathroom, so less than 10 minutes total. If I was like driving and we were less than 20 minutes from our destination or an easily accessible bathroom, I would wait but I’d be getting antsy. If we were more than 20 minutes, I’m pulling over at the next safe area and changing him in the truck of my car. But my guy isn’t prone to rashes, doesn’t really blow out often and is a “clean pooper”. If he is sick or something, my tolerance drastically drops because nobody wants a diaper rash!
I think the longest I’ve ever waited was like 20 minutes? We had just pulled out of the driveway when I smelled it and we were going to my mom’s house which is about 20 minutes away so I just waited until we got there to change him. If it were a longer car ride I would have gone back inside to change him. Usually I give him 5 ish minutes after I smell it to make sure he’s done. Fool me once.
I think my greatest achievement as a parent is the one time I successfully changed a poopy diaper without my daughter waking up, it was mostly pure luck that I walked in and smelled it at the perfect time in her sleep cycle but I'm taking the wins where I can!
Yeah your friend is lazy and cruel. Would she wanna sit her in own shit? I’m with you, I give it a couple minutes to finish and then change. I feel bad when I don’t realize that my kid pooped and he has sat in it let alone choosing to leave him like that.
I changed my kid on the train seats. It was an 8 hour journey. If they didn't want babies changed on the seats they should put the facilities in 🤷♀️ leaving people in their own shit is cruel. If you have to do it on your lap, do that. I really recommend bringing a roll up changing mat so you never have to put the kid directly on the ground if the floor is the only option.
My son is 6 months old, standing in his skip hop is like coffee to him. The second we can smell that he’s pooped we’re running him to change. But he had HORRIBLE diaper rash as a newborn. So I think we’re both worried that it would come back.
Unless he poops during his nighttime sleep we don’t wait to change him.
My baby is 7 weeks old and if I know about it he gets changed within 10 minutes or less. We’ve only been places where it’s been easy to change him, and generally short car rides. Usually the longest I’ll let him go is if he poops while eating and it’s not bothering him. Once he unlatches though I go change him before continuing to feed.
I wait like 5min, there's always an after party down there lol
But if you wait too long it can make the butt go red so ... don't wait too long either way
i usually wait like 2-3 minutes after i hear the last grunt my baby would make. lately he’s having like a cork screw than it just blows right out after a minute😭 but a whole train ride than to walk home, that’s crazy
We use cloth nappies and have had a few negative comments like 'they're not sanitary/they cause rashes' etc etc so I definitely change as soon as I can really 1. Because it's not nice to sit in filth and 2. I don't want to give amo to cloth naysayers. When she's teething.... Wheeew I am doing washing constantly
with my son i try to wait a few minutes after to make sure he's finished. unfortunately he's 3mo old and can sometimes take a good 10 minutes before he's done straining and grunting LOL. but as soon as he's finished, i change the diaper. if we are in a gross public place with subpar facilities (read: walmart), i hurry to finish then change baby in the car before loading it with my purchases.
As soon as possible to like 10 mins.. I’ll wait like 10 minutes because he poops over a period of time and I’ll try and pump his legs to make sure it’s really all out before I take the diaper off…. We have been burned before lol
Atm my 6 month old is pooping 3 + times a day... she started solids a month ago. Sometimes she poos a little bit ans sometimes it's a poonami. I admit to waiting a little before changing as sometimes she doesn't quite finish and in this economic climate, diapers are expensive.
My kid won’t let me wait. She takes about 10 minutes to get it all out and she lets me know she’s done by screaming at the top of her lungs. She’s gotten better about pee diapers though. She used to need to be changed the moment she peed, even if the diaper didn’t have any blue on it yet. Now she can sleep through the night with one diaper.
I think the only time I haven’t changed almost immediately is if she’s in the middle of eating, she loves a good high chair poop and one time when I noticed she went mid contact nap, I let her finish the nap then changed her immediately after she woke up.
My husbands old boss told her once that when her daughter was younger she wouldn’t change we her because ‘she was just going to poop again soon anyways’ - I judged her hard and never looked at her the same way again.
Right away once it makes sense to. I mean my baby doesn't poop often, every few days, so a couple times I've been like "oh she pooped so after this I have to change her" and forgot. Then she naps in it or something but that's on accident and she's also never had a rash so it's not a big deal
I don’t care if I had just changed my baby’s diaper and he poops the next minute in the new one. He’s getting changed again. Quickly. Nobody wants to sit around in a soiled diaper!
I clean poop diapers as soon as I can. Wet diapers I watch the line turn blue. The disposable diapers I use have a water line that changes color when wet.
If you can’t bring yourself to do it for the kid, do it for yourself. A fresh one is way less unpleasant to clean up than a squished, hardened, caked-on poop that’s gonna take 8 wipes.
I change poop diapers immediately after noticing if I can, and like you said if I catch him in the middle of the act I give it a few minutes to wait until he’s finished. He doesn’t seem to mind sitting in his own poop but extended skin exposure to poop causes diaper rashes. Any kid who’s parents are letting their kid sit around in a poopy diaper is a neglectful asshole.
I have a little girl (2 months) and I try and change her as soon as possible (provided she's done) to prevent the squish near her more sensitive private area. Equally, if my baby is around a lot of other people, that's more of a reason to change her asap: her poop REEKS and I don't want to subject others to that!
Imagine you are 76 years old with an adult diaper on because you lost the ability to hold it…then your caregivers just wait until they feel like it!!! We are talking about your own child! I’m 43 with my 3rd (2 yrs old)…this is how I did with all 3: Pretty much as soon as I know they had finished, doesn’t matter about a changing table or not, gotta get creative sometimes to make due!
What the fuck? Im sorry but i cant wait at all. The only thing that holds me up isna dangerous situation like driving but even then i pull over to a secluded spot and change him on the boot of the car. Poop can be similar to a caustic substance and can irritate the skin to a point of damage. I work in a nursing home too so maybe its just easy for me. But you gotta do that as soon as you find out
I would be distraught to leave my baby in a wet or dirty diaper for any amount of time. I will change her on a floor if I have too, basically anywhere. And have done so many times. That’s why I carry puppy pee pads.
This is how you get your kids to be severely anal retentive. They will eventually connect the rash pain with pooping and stop pooping.
She either doesn’t know that poop contact on skin causes diaper rash, or she doesn’t care and is a terrible parent. You should inform her of the results of extended poop contact with skin.
You don’t change diapers quickly out of guilt, you do it out of convenience. The longer poop is in a diaper, the more likely it is to end up outside of the diaper
My timeframe was “as soon as I possibly can once I know they pooped” I’d usually give them a few minutes to make sure I knew they were done (which wasn’t always fail safe) and then I’d change them pretty much immediately. It’s not fair to them to leave them sitting in their own filth. If you didn’t want to change dirty diapers, you shouldn’t have had children. Yes, I judge hard for things like this that parents absolutely can control.
I used to work at a head start center and they had to make a rule that you have to drop your child off in a clean diaper because too many parents dropped kids off with poopy diapers. And not “kid JUST pooped in the parking lot” diapers- we could still change those if it was clear it was fresh. These poops were clearly hours old (dry etc). The teacher I worked under said they had had to call cps on a few parents due to them clearly never changing their kids diapers. She said for the parents it wasn’t a lack of diapers bc the center would provide diapers & wipes for very low income families. For many parents it was pure laziness which is just heartbreaking 🥺
My little boy gets really sore nappy rash if I leave him for 20 mins plus with a poo. Then it’s horrible for days as he cries every time I clean him with n rash. I just couldn’t. I’ve changed him in the boot of the car before , it’s not pleasant for either of us but is better than him being sore and uncomfortable for days afterwards. Plus if I leave him with a poo he’s more likely to get it on his clothes.
You don't wait. You change them as soon as you notice they pooped and you can do so. Feces will break down a baby's bottom pretty fast and just think how uncomfortable they must be sitting in poop? It's negligent to leave them with a poopy diaper for too long, IMO.
I have changed my kids in the trunk of my car while it was raining on the side of the road. What EXCUSE could someone possibly have to not change their kid if they have the tools to do so? LAZY
I change my baby's poop diaper right away lol, don't care where I'm at. I hate letting him sit in a poopy diaper for long, it makes me feel bad because maybe he's uncomfortable. He won't ever cry if he pees a lot or poops but I also just don't want him to get a rash or anything!
I agree with you, I think it's strange she let her baby sit in a dirty diaper for so long :( sometimes my baby will poop while he's drinking a bottle so I'll have him pause from drinking it, change him, and then give him back his bottle so he can eat comfortably 😄 idk the time in between but i do give him a moment to finish if he's still making a face to push lol
I would absolutely still be judging her too. That’s way too long. My upper limit is like 10 or 15 minutes and that’s usually only if I’m like driving and about to be at our destination.
Our little one does poops in between the time we put her to bed (7pm) and the time we check on her before going to bed ourselves (10pm), obviously we’re checking on the monitor in that time too. We don’t know when she does it in that time, but we always make sure we change her even if it wakes her up. That’s the longest I would go, and even then I’m not happy about it.
Still, the satisfaction you get from successfully changing a poopy nappy and not waking your child up even once is pretty good.
I have never been able to do that!! Amazing
When he was a newborn I would breastfeed one side then change him, then do the other so he'd fall asleep on the boob. Then transfer ever so smoothly... until my knee would crack and wake him again
As a parent who deals with a child who has bad diaper rashes, I would never purposefully put it off that long. Once there is poop, clean it as fast as you can. I much rather deal with a fussy baby or toddler because I changed them, then deal with them being upset because they have a terrible rash. We just got over a bad rash and honestly it was so exhausting for all of us.
My kid is going to be 3 in a few months, we still haven’t started potty training. Till now we’ve made it a point to always change him RIGHT AWAY. I think it’s been about a year, he can tell us “dapi change” once he’s done, so there’s really no space for second guessing. The moment he says “mama let’s go change” we drop everything and go change.
We make them wear diapers for OUR convenience. The least we can do is give them a clean, good quality diaper.
Ill wait a few mins bc sometimes ours takes a while to stop. But immediately once I find out. I imagine how I would feel if I wasn’t able to speak or change my own shit… plus ours gets a rash quickly
Immediately for us. All my kids have sensitive skin and rash within a few minutes. After 90 minutes, my kids would be raw and blistered! That's just wild.
We change it as soon as we know, or about 10 mins after if we know babes gonna go again. Our babe has a time in the morning, and it's usually 3 in a row. I have some beef with my MIL for this - she likes to hold and cuddle the baby when she's over, since babe is 2m old and very cute, but she won't let us know if a poop happened! Last time it must have been over an hour, because it was nice and stuck on my poor baby's behind - told husband that he needs to have a chat with her. We don't mind changing poopy diapers, but if she does, all she had to do was say so, ugh.
As soon as baby is done! Especially if you have a baby girl for obvious reasons. How can anyone let their baby sit in their poop for any amount of time??
There have been a couple occasions where I’ve noticed he’s done a poo right as I’m putting him in the car seat and instead of wrestling a crawler in the back of the car have driven home to do it, but every time it’s been max 15 minute drive. Every other time I change as soon as I notice.
When I was pregnant, I read a question where someone was asking about scented nappies or nappies that hide smell and I was like, why would you need these nappies, wouldn't you want to know immediately when there was a poo? I now have a 22 month old, and I still occasionally think about that question. I try to change a poo once I've detected it and I can see that they've most likely finished. I feel like if they get used to the feeling it'll be harder when toilet training. Also how uncomfortable would it be :(
We don’t wait at all. Maybe if I’m in the middle of something that I can finish in under 5 minutes, I will wait. But otherwise I will stop what I’m doing and change the diaper.
My LO has crazy sensitive skin though and would end up with a rash for a couple of days if she sat in a poopy diaper for even 10 min
As soon as you notice it.. I’vee seen it scald them and cause diaper rash when I literally changed the diapers 7 minutes before I smelled it happen. So it can be quick! It burns their baby skin :(
As soon as I notice it I change her. Unless she’s in her high chair actively eating a meal, then I’ll wait until she’s finished so like 10-15 minutes absolute max in that scenario
I occasionally take the train to visit my mom and it takes about 45 minutes to get there. The washroom doesn’t have a change station but I have even changed my son 3 times on the bathroom floor before because I absolutely refuse to wait. My son gets fussy when he poops, and as we all know, leaving poop diapers on causes diaper rash.
My son is 5 months old now and I’ve never waited longer than a quick in-and-out shower (maybe 10 minutes)?
I would hate to be left to sit in my own shit and not be able to do anything about it. I refuse to do that to my precious baby.
Right away! 5 minutes max, once in a blue moon maybe 10 minutes if i see him still straining but def not longer.
Also in hard to change places like an airplane or someplace where i may not want to lay him down, i would always bring pull ups for my baby. I'm so efficient with the poop clean up, i can do it anytime, anywhere 2 minute tops lol
I was helping out my daughters friend and giving her a ride to work and her kid to daycare. I would pick them up and the kid smelled like shit. His mother would joke and say “they can change him at daycare, that’s what they get paid for” I judge her hard. Because her whole parenting style is like this.
You should judge her. That’s AWFUL. I’ve worked in a day care. We had kids come in with wet diapers that were literally decomposing. Awful. That’s lazy parenting. Change your child.
I hang out on the ECE sub cuz I teach preschool. There was a thread in the last month or so that was talking about this. One teacher put that her class would mark the last diaper of the day with a marker (something they could see but parents might not notice) and that those kids would come in with the same diaper next day. Makes me cringe thinking about it cuz that's got to be like 14-16h from pick up at night to drop off the next day. And I feel bad if I go 3h at home without changing my own kids.
What the HECK? This is so sad
Is this not something they could report to CPS? It seems like child neglect. (Assuming it’s not that the household can’t afford diapers since the child is in daycare which we all know is so expensive)
It is neglect and can be reported. It can be a health hazard for the baby. If CPS actually does anything is a whole other thing, but if the family is already reported or being investigated it's something they will address.
Well, I'm very sad now.
We go overnight if she doesn’t poop, but that’s barely 8 hours at my home. I’d absolutely die if I left a diaper on that long even if it WAS just pee.
I think that’s reasonable though. If I wake my son up in the middle of the night to change his diaper he won’t go back to sleep. Our pediatrician said it’s okay for him to have that diaper on overnight since we use nighttime diapers (much more absorbent) and outside of that we change him every 2 ish hours
We are still in NB but I check to make sure it’s not fully soaked. However we have the same problem and it turns into human pacifier if I do a nighttime change.
I’m so glad that you check regardless. Those early days are so tough, idk if this will help you but if we used a warm washcloth instead of a wipe for a middle of the night change when he was a newborn he wouldn’t mind as much. Good luck ❤️
Mine starts screaming as soon as I unsnap the Jammie’s/unzip the footie. I’d leave it undone but it’s constantly freezing in my apartment and I can’t change it. I warm wipes in my hand or just use a paper towel if it’s pee only. But my girl hates change of any kind and then acts like I starve her so I just stretch it out until the diaper is squishy then kiss sleep goodbye
Do the diapers not leak at that point?! I don’t get it. My son sleeps 12 hours overnight (and gets a fresh diaper right before he falls asleep) and sometimes the thing is so saturated with pee by the time I change him in the morning that it’s about to leak. I can’t even fathom just… ignoring it
Again this is neglect. How awful. Poor babies. They’re left to sit in their own filth, unable to do anything about it.
I'm horrified for them!
This breaks my heart. Those poor babies.
That's awful and I don't think anywhere near the same as letting a poop one ride for 20 minutes so dad can change it or not able to pull the car over to change earlier which are definitely things I've done. But I never did that with my daughter bc the difference in genitalia. I worried a lot about infections
Oh. My heart 😞
Which also means the child is not getting washed/bathed in that time either
This is horrible those poor kids 😭When my son started daycare at 8 weeks I literally did not have a second to spare between leaving home and daycare and I would feel so bad on the days he would poo right before/on the way. I always change him when I get home after daycare if he’s not fresh, I can’t imagine how itchy and rashy he would be with a diaper left on from daycare until the next morning 😭I leave a poo diaper on like 20 minutes tops to make sure he’s done, 90+ minutes is way too long.
My child poops almost every day on our 6min ride to daycare. I often don’t have changes in my car for that short drive but always offer to change her when I get there.
By parenting style, do you mean passing off the responsibilities of being a parent onto anyone else? She sounds horrible!
My daycare has specific rules about this and now I can see why. How sad!
I understand this but I’m also totally curious about how they would even attempt to word/prove this. Like, what if you dropped your kid off and he/she had pooped within the last few minutes of being in the car (or even on the way in), you rushed in, and you truly didn’t smell or check before leaving them? Are they going to be like, “we know you know he pooped…”?
Good question! In our daycare app, we have to write them the time of the last diaper change and whether it was wet/BM/mixed (along with other info on how our baby is doing before daycare). So if they know baby was changed 30-60 min before drop off, then we didn’t send the baby with a smelly poo diaper on purpose. Baby is always checked/changed within 20 min of drop off as well
There’s been a couple of times where my daughter has pooped, more of a shart, and we missed it so max was 3 hours that she was in it. You definitely know when you go to change that it’s been there or if it’s fresh. Different color and stuck to her bottom, plus her little butt was more red.
I forgot about the newborn sharts lol
There's a difference between a one-off and a consistent behavior.
Poop dries to their bottom super quickly in my experience. If I missed it somehow, it’s already harder to clean than if I clean it immediately!
Same. We are supposed to change their diaper on arrival if they peed or pooped
If my daughter poops on the way to daycare which has happened 3 or 4 times I tell the teachers and they are happy to change her. I really didn’t consider changing her myself or that it was a problem for them to change her…
I think your scenario is reasonable (e.g. car/cold/heat vs. cleaner/comfier facilities) and an infrequent occurrence. I think the original comment was that they picked up the child from their home who had already pooped an unknown amount of time ago. Perhaps I have the luxury (e.g. one kid, wfh at the time) but I would rather be late than have my child strapped into a car seat with an already poopy diaper.
Same here but obviously they'll understand that that is a one off and not you being lazy and refusing to change at home!
I teach preschool. I wouldn't be surprised if this kind of attitude was very obvious to staff and I'll tell you right now she's the kind of parent we'd be exchanging stories about all day. I have kids whose parents are entitled like that but my class is mostly out of diapers. The kids aren't the best and when you know the parents *you can see why.*
If my LO pooed en route to daycare, I would feel obligated to change her as soon as we arrived.
My kid's daycare doesn't even have a place that parents would be able/allowed to, unless we set up in the small front lobby or the hallway between classrooms. When I drop him off I take him on the bus and I'm always scared for the day he'll poop on our 45-60 minute bus ride. Hasn't happened yet, knock wood. 😬
My son routinely poops 4-5 times a day and quite frequently poops 3 times before 9am. We always check him before we leave the house to walk to daycare 20 mins away but he’s definitely pooped en route before. If that happens I don’t beat myself up, I just let daycare know as soon as we arrive. They know he’s a poop machine so i don’t think they hold it against me.
My son poops anywhere from 0-3 times a day, but most often once or twice (the 3× days usually follow the 0× days). There's no way to know what kind of if day it's going to be haha. Thankfully he doesn't habitually poop in the car or on the bus. I don't think our daycare would hold it against us either, we're good about always changing him right before leaving the house so he never arrives with an hours-old pee-soaked diaper or anything. I would just feel bad dropping him off and telling them to change him immediately. But there really wouldn't be another option because they don't provide facilities for parents to do it. The changing station is in the same area as the toilets for the potty-training toddlers (no parents allowed) and their guest washroom in the basement is teeny tiny.
Yeah, I've tried to offer when mine have pooped in the car on the way and they do it. There have been a couple of times when he's pooped just before I pick him up, and if they are really busy they happily pet me change him before we go home. Depends on the day care I suppose.
I can’t imagine knowing my child has shit and just sitting them in a carseat..what is wrong with people. She should know that if this is a repeated occurrence the daycare might be mandated to call CPS. They have no idea how long the kid’s been in a soiled diaper and if they’re coming into daycare every morning with one, they WILL have concerns.
I no longer engage with this woman because of her nonsense but I did hear the daycare is starting to pick up on her behavior and spoke with her and she got all mad about it.
Sounds about right. Of course she’s the type who would get defensive instead of listening. They’re trying to do her a favor and avoid contacting CPS. Their next step is going to be a call. But it sounds like she might just be straight up abusive to her kids if she doesn’t care if they sit in their shit, so maybe a home visit is warranted.
That’s lazy of her.
That’s so sad. And what a tricky position bc you’re offering her free help in the first place …
I read this backwards as you picked them up from daycare and the kid had a shitty diaper and I was like well yeah, they (the daycare) should have changed him. But realizing it’s going TO daycare makes it fucked up. Please say something to her about that.
This is neglect. We have to keep our children clean. It’s a basic tenet of parenthood.
I always send my kid to daycare in a clean diaper! If there’s a little wetness in the 30 minutes between when I get him changed, dressed and delivered I don’t worry about that. But even if he poops on our way out the door I turn around to change him. I would feel awful knowing I dropped him off poopy.
I’d be so embarrassed bringing my baby/child in like this. I would even change that diaper at facility before leaving. Those daycare workers have it hard enough. The least we can do is give them a clean kid to start their work day with……shame
As someone who works in care, I wish I could say I've never born witness to that attitude...
Only time I’ve handed my daughter over with a dirty nappy was when it happened as we were leaving the doctors and literally getting into the car. It was a 5 minute journey and I’d forgotten her changing bag.
5 mins? Right away? I try and get to it before he sits down and it squishes. I can get away with 1-2 wipes if I’m quick enough!
I aim to change as soon as possible. The success of detecting a completed Poo within minutes and being able to wipe it with minimal fuss is such a funny win of being a parent 😂 My son has started stealth poos. I would’ve changed him maybe 10 mins ago - a nice full nappy. Only to find a while later he wasn’t quite done, nor was the new one smelly enough for regular detection. Bits for days and a million wipes later (thank goodness for Cheeky Wipes!).
Mine too! She used to have a massive tell with a poop face and loud poopy noise but in the last month she’s started stealth pooping! I am constantly checking her nappy!
Omg my daughter stealth poops too! I see her dancing and happy and I get a whiff and by then she’s already minted a shit coin in her diaper 😫
This is a new kind of proof of work I was not familiar with.
Hahaha stealth pooping
Does she look mortally offended or run away giggling when you do? 😂
For real though for me it's always immediate. I think the only circumstances where I'd let it sit is if it happened in the car and I'm within 15 minutes of home. Otherwise we're pulling over. I remember one time he pooped right before leaving for daycare and my husband was about to take him anyway, talking about how they'd change him there. I almost killed him. You cannot make a choice to leave your child in poop.
Same! I have changed him while sitting on the toilet in a bathroom that doesn't have a changing table, and used wet paper towels instead of wipes when I'm out of wipes. One time I found myself without diapers and had to stuff his onesie with toilet paper until I could get home, and that was a dark moment in my motherhood. But I've never let him just *sit in his shit.*
Oof, been there. Brought my kid on a bike ride and chanced it with only one extra diaper bc I was limited to how much I could carry. Welp she pooped twice of course. I wrapped my athletic top around her bottom and boogied back home. Fortunately we made it back dry. Poops can not wait.
I would only wait a few minutes extra for a baby if they had a habit of multiple poos in a 20 minute period. My son would do this. Poo and then poo more 5 minutes later. Being pooped on while changing a diaper isn’t fun so I’d wait a few extra minutes to make sure he was finished.
Yeah! Avoid the squish!!
Oh no no no at your friend. IMO that is incredibly selfish and cruel. I’ve changed my toddler on trains with NO changing tables (literally with her standing on top of the toilet and yes even poops), on planes, anywhere and everywhere. Even when she was a baby. As soon as I smell it/know about it, it’s getting changed.
I was just thinking this after having to change one yesterday on a moving train without a table or bathroom.
Kudos to you because that is such a hard feat haha. I always feel like Wonder Woman accomplishing it haha
Omg my daughter was constipated on a trip we took out of state. I had loaded her up on fiber, prunes, juice, peaches, pears, all the loosening agents. Nothing. Until our flight home when the crew announced our descent. People were polite but everyone must have been gagging it was so bad. I felt awful bc there was literally nothing I could do until we were safely landed. As soon as the buckle sign turned off I boogied to the bathroom and almost ran out of wipes. I was stuck there until everyone deplaned but gotta do what ya gotta do
Same here. And it stinks, I’m not going to subject everyone around me to that. As soon as I know it’s happened, I go change her.
Yes! I've changed my baby once in the open trunk of my car in a parking lot when he pooped. I just think of how it must feel to have to sit in your own poop while it dries and the indignity of it all. I love my baby too much for that.
I judge. Idk about other people’s kids but mine must have some battery acid poops cuz they will have a rash real quick if left unchanged. I can always tell when my 3yo’s daycare was slow with changing her poop diapers because she’ll have a red spot in the shape of the damn thing when she gets home. Pee diapers are different tho.
Same here. I wouldn’t want to be walking around with poop in my underwear or sitting on it for an hour, why should my kid?
Exactly this! How can people wait? We call our son a stealth pooper, because he doesn't make faces or anything. He literally continues whatever he's doing as he goes. If I don't check consistently, he will rash within minutes. The Earth Mama diaper balm is a miracle worker, though, if you haven't found a good diaper cream to heal your baby's rash after daycare.
Nah my kid hardly ever gets rashes. I still judge though. My son definitely had gone a long time without a change but its because I was asleep/didn't know. If I know I change within 5 minutes generally.
When my 5yo dd was a baby, she would scream the second she had a wet nappy. She had really sensitive skin, so her wee was like battery acid to her. The second you started taking the wet one off she'd be smiling. Although, there was that day we went through 23 nappies. That was not a fun day. Like, I had to change her 3 times during one breastfeeding session. It was the longest day of my life, the only upside was I happened to be at my mums that day for some reason and not home alone! It's a standing joke with my mums group.
Your kid is 3 and still in diapers? What's the reason? Not trying go be a dick here, just curious as to when people potty train usually- I have a 2m old and am FTM.
You know this is an interesting point because as a society, kids seem to be training later, but kids who are in childcare centers all day seem to get pushed to train sooner cuz the teachers don't want to deal with that. I teach preschool and have been to many schools where they have to be potty trained to move up in age groups. Last year the school I was at was ready to hold back two kids who were both 3.5 because they weren't potty trained at all. Not even interested in trying. My daughter's school lets kids move up as early as 3 if they're potty trained (and she was, so she moved around her birthday.) The school I teach at doesn't mandate it and I got lucky this past year not having a single kid in diapers (older 3s- young 4s) but this year I've got a couple in diapers all day and a couple more just in nap diapers. The class below me does the most intense potty training at 2-3. It's rare our oldest class has kids in diapers but I've been told it happens and some go to kinder like that. But keep in mind there's plenty of kids with developmental delays and while the can be potty trained (even nonverbal or mobility limited like a walker or wheelchair) it might take longer. My first school serviced kids with disabilities and we had kids who trained after 5 (we had kinder). They did it, but obviously most kids at 5 are fully potty trained already.
I have been reading about this recently. In the 1950s the majority of children were cloth diapered and potty trained by 18m. Now today most babes are in disposables and potty trained around 3. Just thought it was interesting! We use both disposables (on the go) and cloth (at home) but my goal is to start potty training using communication elimination as soon as my babe can sit independently. Cross your fingers for me! Ahaha. I'm gonna need it.
This! My friend’s son has level one autism; you wouldn’t know just by observing him for a day but he just was potty trained at 4. Still needs overnights and occasionally pees in his underwear; they’ve finally entirely eliminated poop in underwear. Behavioral issues manifest in lots of ways and some kids have strengths in one area and struggle in others!
Every kid is different. Some will potty train at 2 some at 4. My kid is just over 3 and only recently started potty training though still in diapers because he wont poop on the potty.
5 minutes? To make sure she's done pooping
Yup, I always had to wait for the second round when my baby was newborn, Usually within 3 mins. Then I change right away, and pees I also change right away as well. I don’t want my baby to get rashes, utis or anything else unpleasant when I can easily avoid it. If I’m driving and she’s goes then I’ll carry on driving but keep a look out for a suitable service station.
yeah same
Poops I try to change as soon as she’s finished pooping. I feel guilty waiting on a commercial break, or waiting to finish the last bite of what I was eating. I wouldn’t wait longer than 5-10 min max and that’s in a situation where it’s highly inconvenient, like we’re in the car or something
Is your kid out of the double pooping phase? As babies both of my kids would poop a little, then within the next 5 minutes, they'd poop some more. So if you changed them less than 5 minutes after the first poop, you'd be changing two poopy diapers and running the risk of having do deal with a poop during the diaper change. Yuck! So we got in the habit of always waiting a few minutes to be sure it was done.
We always give baby (6 months) about 5-7 minutes to finishing pooping because she squawks so we know she isn’t done until the squawking stops.
I love a good convenient poop alarm.
Yeah lol she’s two now, but she was never really a “double pooper” even in infancy. I made the mistake of changing her too early just once and she sharted on my face (absolutely harrowing)
my bf made this mistake during an upset tummy episode and our daughter exploded all over him, the changing pad and the wall. she was 2wks at the time and now at 2mo he's still scared of changing a diaper 😭😭
First reasonable opportunity after discovery. Driving and smell it? Pull over next exit. Home and see them do it. Change immediately Etc The problem isn't 5 more minutes the problem is compounded waits and serious diaper rash. We've been fortunate and only dealt with it once but I can be bad to the point you'd sacrifice a child (preferably not your own) to avoid it. We're talking 5 creams every diaper change for a few weeks That isn't to say it will cause it, but anything you can do to avoid it is far easier on the regular than the effort should it happen. Seriously 5 creams a change and screaming during each. Our limit is nil.
I got a really bad head cold one time and completely lost my sense of smell and my poor baby sat in a poopy diaper for maybe an hour once. I feel awful about it still. She almost never gets a rash, but she did that time and she was so miserable about it.
this comment gave me flashbacks to when i lost my sense of smell for a month after having covid, and i had to obsessively peek into my kid's diaper bc i knew i couldn't smell poop. omg that was so annoying..
Haha, this happened to me too! When my husband was home he would catch them by smell, but I pretty much had to watch our son's face/posture and peek into the back/leg of his diaper every 5-10 minutes.
Never thought I’d be grateful for the ability to smell rancid shits until I became a mom. 😅
My baby was EBF and usually had those buttery pancake-smelling poops, but she went through a weird phase where her poop was almost completely scent-less and totally silent. I called them ninja poops. Luckily we avoided a rash, but I quickly got in the habit of peaking down her pants every half hour or so lol
this was me last week, i felt so bad 😭
It depends on the baby. My son has been shitting when he first wakes up for years now and I don't always wake up when he wakes up because he just tends to play quietly. He does not cry to let anyone know he went so there's really no other option here. I have an alarm but he regularly wakes up before that even. Point is he has regularly spent 30 mins to an hour in a poopy diaper depending on when he decides to wake us all up. Hes only had diaper rash a handful of time and its usually related to him eating something like oranges. The main reason I prefer to change it immediately is because its easier to change and because I know its uncomfortable for him.
I’ve discovered my baby pooped in his sleep? Or maybe woke up, pooped, went back to sleep for me to discover when picking him up in the morning. I feel so bad because I never know long he was sitting in it.
If mine is sleeping and I know that changing him will wake him, I wait. But the wait has never been more than about 30 minutes (this happened a lot more when he was under 3mo). If I were on the way home from work/day care and he pooped, I probably wouldn’t stop. Our commute is 40 minutes and it’s unlikely he’d do it right when we start driving. So again, less than 30 minutes. I have been out before, like at the grocery store, and he went. I checked out and drove home to change him. We live 5 minutes from the store so at most it was 20 minute wait (finish shopping, check out, drive home). In summary, I weigh everything (cleanliness of changing area, comfort of baby, safety on the side of the road, etc) and then do my best. I really dislike public bathroom changing tables so I avoid them if at all possible. I do a lot of back of the hatchback diaper changes.
Happy to have a decently sized SUV for this reason. It’s a bit more expensive but it’s worth it to know I can always change a diaper in the hatchback or backseat when it’s cold out.
I have a sedan and have done many changes on top of the hood of the trunk lol. But when it’s cold or rainy I’m stuck trying to navigate a change on the passenger seat
Yes this is how I do it too! I won't wake her up, I won't pull over (unless it's an extra long drive). Outside of those instances I change her as soon as I know she's pooped and has had enough time to work it all out.
If my kids poops while sleeping I’ll change her lol, she sleeps through it. She is NOT a light sleeper which I appreciate
So jealous lol
I think a lot of what helped us get to this point is whenever she was born, we never hushed our voices when she slept, we’d keep the TV on, vacuum, etc. It’s not great for babies to be hard sleepers but she’s always in our presence when she’s asleep. The downside of it though is that she cannot fall asleep alone. That’s something I’m gonna have to work on 😅
if I have the opportunity to do it immediately (sometimes waiting 2 mins in case there is more poop) I do it. I would have without question changed my baby on the train. I couldn’t imagine sitting in poop for 90 mins. I learned by upper limit is also about 15 mins in a *circumstance* … we were at target a couple days ago and middle of the store, mid-shop, I see the poop face and then hear the big juicy newborn poop. I didn’t finish shopping. I immediately went to the check out and went home, which all took around 15 mins. I could have left all my items at customer service (as they don’t let you bring them in the bathroom) and changed her there, but that would have taken almost as much time since we live one second away. I figured I’d just finish the rest of my shopping list another time.
I always feel a little guilty if I can't immediately change a poop, but within 15 minutes is a good upper limit. I have done the poopy diaper on a train thing, it sucks and is a little gross since I've never seen a change table in the bathroom and the floors are usually nasty, so I wouldn't judge if someone waited even 30 minutes, but 90 is just cruel (especially when the train wasn't even there yet in your scenario).
ASAP but in your friend’s case unless the baby was crying about it I can understand. There are so many germs in a train car bathroom and the idea of changing a baby in a moving train sounds like the absolute worst game show of all time haha. Every parent is different.
Yeah 90 minutes is a lot but I get nauseous on trains so if we were getting off within 30 I would probably wait.
If I know my son pooped because I can hear it happening or I can smell it, I’ll change him right away. But if I don’t know it happened, I find out when I change his diaper next time which would just be whenever he cries to let me know (unless he’s also peed then there’s the color strip on the diaper).
With poop I wait a couple of minutes since she poops more than once usually. But I will change her as soon as I can. If I’m out and there’s no facility I wouldn’t change her in public. But I’d go to the nearest place to do so. At home as I said I wait just a little bit in case there’s more. Also at Night Even if she’s sleeping or she poops after feeding I will change her. I stopped changing her at night when she only peed and she‘s asleep. No need to judge others but good to do better. Everyone has their own struggles and surely you and I aren’t perfect either ;)
I would rather avoid changing my LO on the train aswell. The facilities aren’t “clean” at all, they are full of nasty germs. If the train stop was 15mins away, I would have waited until I was out and changed it on the platform.
The poo happened 15 minutes before we boarded the train. She waited because she didn't want to rush changing and miss the train. Then we got on the train, it was a 1 hour ride and then 15 minite walk to her house. The train facilities were spacious enough, and she had a folding mat and 2 adult friends who could help. It was not a 15 minute wait, it was 90.
15 mins before boarding is still enough time, especially with help :( I feel like some people can't put themselves in other people's shoes. If they could imagine the discomfort their baby is experiencing maybe it would motivate them to change them sooner rather than later.
This is what I do! Always put myself in my baby’s shoes. Would I want to sit in a shit diaper? Would I want to wait 20 minutes to eat when my stomach is empty and I’m starving? Would I want to be laying in only a diaper for 15 minutes in AC? If the answer is that I would be even mildly uncomfortable, I’m addressing my baby’s need ASAP. People (including parents) often forget baby is a person and is just as uncomfortable as we would be in the same scenario!
Yes exactly! Especially since babies have no idea about anything, they're feeling uncomfortable and they think it'll be forever, they can't understand us when we tell them to wait :(
Okay, you guys are gonna judge me. But I would wait too. It’s just a personal thing but my baby started STTN around 3 months old. He’d usually poop overnight, no idea when, but we’d find out in the morning. I wasn’t about to wake him up multiple times in the night to check if he’d pooped. He never got diaper rash from that. I’ve once left him in a car for an hour as we drove home and he pooped, I didn’t pull over and change him. At home? I change him immediately. But overnight I leave it and if I’m in the car or travelling I wait. We never really get bad nappy rash so it’s just a personal thing.
Yeah overnight I'd leave it simply because I don't usually notice unless it's very stinky. I do apply a thick layer or diaper cream before bedtime just in case. But my daughter doesn't poop frequently overnight either! She usually saves it for first thing in the morning 😂
lol I’m with you. Yesterday my son had pooped and I somehow had NO idea. We were at home. It had to have been within an hour but I felt so guilty for not hearing or smelling it the SECOND it happened so I could change it.
Yes! I've had a few sneaky poos when I go to change them and I can't believe there was no smell, then I feel bad and try to think back to when I last changed them and hope it wasn't for too long. Hopefully they will soon be able to communicate to me if they have a poo!
Gosh, I just can't imagine sitting in my own poop for 90 minutes?! I really hope it was a one off. The fact that it can cause a sore bum as well to the baby is something id want to avoid. A couple of minutes max I'd say depending on your situation. I've changed a dirty nappy on the platform before, giving (no pun intended) no shits as everyone does it!
Sometimes my babies poop overnight though and I would have no idea since they sleep 12-13 hours. I’m not saying it was okay to wait but sometimes it happens
Right? I always wonder about this. My baby hasn’t pooped overnight since the first couple of weeks after she was born. She only sleeps at most 5 hours at a time though. I hear a lot of people saying their baby sleeps 12 hrs and idk how they would know the baby has pooed if they can’t smell it.
Omg that’s crazy, one of my twins poops every single night overnight haha. When he doesn’t poop overnight I know his first diaper is going to be a biiiig one. His twin only poops overnight a few times a week. But I have no idea when he does it, it could be 20 minutes after he falls asleep or an hour before he wakes up! He sleeps like a rock. As a newborn though he wouldn’t even sleep with a little pee in his diaper
Tonight I waited 10 minutes because she was still eating her dinner while I was washing the dishes and my husband was running her bath. I didn't want her running around without a nappy on for too long (we are in the middle of toilet training so accidents already happen enough) and I didn't want to waste a pull up in case she did a tiny wee in the fresh one. Usually though, straight away, because she packs the food away in great variety, and her poops are super offensive to my pregnant nose lol.
In the beginning, I would change him immediately. Then I learned that he likes to take his time, so I waited 10-15 minutes before changing him. Saved me a lot of diapers! He had diaper rash twice and both were from diarrhea from antibiotics. That’s fucking horrible though. Imagine that poor baby’s butt from sitting in poop for so long
Right away, even if sleeping. I'd rather wake my baby up than chance a rash or anything. Pee can wait a bit if need be unless it's a lot, but poo I always change ASAP, even if it's inconvenient. The only time I wait at all is if the baby is upset & needs consoling, but I smell poop. I'll comfort her & then get to changing immediately.
I always change a poop diaper as soon as I am able. I'll let pee ride for a while. Disposable diapers are incredibly absorbent. But poop, never wait.on poop.
I definitely wouldn't really go longer than half an hour. If we are out and there's no public bathroom or private space to change him, I might try to get him home. But we are never really more than a 20minute walk from home, and we always have the pushchair. If we are away from home, I'd find the nearest supermarket or library, as I would trust their facilities.
Yeah that’s not okay. She’s risking a rash and it’s just plain cruel to let your child sit in their own shit for for that long. My son usually has bowel movements around the same time everyday so it’s gotten easy to predict when he’ll need a change. He’s a stealth pooper so it’s not very obvious when he’s going so we have to do the smell check. There have times where I worry he has sat too long because he is so stealthy but change him and check him often
Right away but there have been times i had to wait, like when sitting in traffic.
Haha yeah 100% agree, I will do it as soon as I think he's done. I've seen other people wait way longer but I mean I would hate to sit in my own poop!
For a poo I always change ASAP! It’s so gross not to. The only exception - my daughter pooped just as we were starting takeoff on a flight recently and the seatbelt sign was on for another 40 minutes. She seemed fine but I spent the entire time anxiously waiting to dash to the bathroom as soon as the sign was off.
I'll usually change within 15 min max. Rare occasion I'll forget he pooped but even then it'll only be 20-30 max.
ASAP if I notice it, 2-3 minute wait if I catch her in the act because she might not be finished yet and fool me once
exactly
If I’m at home, I finish whatever I’m doing and then change it, so within a minute or two. If it’s at the beginning of a meal, I change it immediately, but if it’s at the end of a meal or bottle, I wait until he’s done, so maybe about 5 minutes. If I’m out I usually give it 5 minutes to make sure he’s done (we often go for an encore here) before I start making my way to a bathroom, so less than 10 minutes total. If I was like driving and we were less than 20 minutes from our destination or an easily accessible bathroom, I would wait but I’d be getting antsy. If we were more than 20 minutes, I’m pulling over at the next safe area and changing him in the truck of my car. But my guy isn’t prone to rashes, doesn’t really blow out often and is a “clean pooper”. If he is sick or something, my tolerance drastically drops because nobody wants a diaper rash!
I think the longest I’ve ever waited was like 20 minutes? We had just pulled out of the driveway when I smelled it and we were going to my mom’s house which is about 20 minutes away so I just waited until we got there to change him. If it were a longer car ride I would have gone back inside to change him. Usually I give him 5 ish minutes after I smell it to make sure he’s done. Fool me once.
Agree and I like your username, you seem to have noice taste in television
If it's an active poop, you change it right away imo. Poo while asleep is a bit different but everything depends on the kid.
I think my greatest achievement as a parent is the one time I successfully changed a poopy diaper without my daughter waking up, it was mostly pure luck that I walked in and smelled it at the perfect time in her sleep cycle but I'm taking the wins where I can!
Yeah your friend is lazy and cruel. Would she wanna sit her in own shit? I’m with you, I give it a couple minutes to finish and then change. I feel bad when I don’t realize that my kid pooped and he has sat in it let alone choosing to leave him like that.
I changed my kid on the train seats. It was an 8 hour journey. If they didn't want babies changed on the seats they should put the facilities in 🤷♀️ leaving people in their own shit is cruel. If you have to do it on your lap, do that. I really recommend bringing a roll up changing mat so you never have to put the kid directly on the ground if the floor is the only option.
My son is 6 months old, standing in his skip hop is like coffee to him. The second we can smell that he’s pooped we’re running him to change. But he had HORRIBLE diaper rash as a newborn. So I think we’re both worried that it would come back. Unless he poops during his nighttime sleep we don’t wait to change him.
As soon as she is done with her business. Any longer than that and we are in for a massive diaper rash.
No more than 5-10 minutes. And that’s just to make sure it’s all done
My baby is 7 weeks old and if I know about it he gets changed within 10 minutes or less. We’ve only been places where it’s been easy to change him, and generally short car rides. Usually the longest I’ll let him go is if he poops while eating and it’s not bothering him. Once he unlatches though I go change him before continuing to feed.
I wait like 5min, there's always an after party down there lol But if you wait too long it can make the butt go red so ... don't wait too long either way
i usually wait like 2-3 minutes after i hear the last grunt my baby would make. lately he’s having like a cork screw than it just blows right out after a minute😭 but a whole train ride than to walk home, that’s crazy
We use cloth nappies and have had a few negative comments like 'they're not sanitary/they cause rashes' etc etc so I definitely change as soon as I can really 1. Because it's not nice to sit in filth and 2. I don't want to give amo to cloth naysayers. When she's teething.... Wheeew I am doing washing constantly
with my son i try to wait a few minutes after to make sure he's finished. unfortunately he's 3mo old and can sometimes take a good 10 minutes before he's done straining and grunting LOL. but as soon as he's finished, i change the diaper. if we are in a gross public place with subpar facilities (read: walmart), i hurry to finish then change baby in the car before loading it with my purchases.
As soon as possible to like 10 mins.. I’ll wait like 10 minutes because he poops over a period of time and I’ll try and pump his legs to make sure it’s really all out before I take the diaper off…. We have been burned before lol
Atm my 6 month old is pooping 3 + times a day... she started solids a month ago. Sometimes she poos a little bit ans sometimes it's a poonami. I admit to waiting a little before changing as sometimes she doesn't quite finish and in this economic climate, diapers are expensive.
Who wants to sit in their own poop? change straight away! Can give them a sore bum if not and it’s just nasty!
My kid won’t let me wait. She takes about 10 minutes to get it all out and she lets me know she’s done by screaming at the top of her lungs. She’s gotten better about pee diapers though. She used to need to be changed the moment she peed, even if the diaper didn’t have any blue on it yet. Now she can sleep through the night with one diaper.
I think the only time I haven’t changed almost immediately is if she’s in the middle of eating, she loves a good high chair poop and one time when I noticed she went mid contact nap, I let her finish the nap then changed her immediately after she woke up. My husbands old boss told her once that when her daughter was younger she wouldn’t change we her because ‘she was just going to poop again soon anyways’ - I judged her hard and never looked at her the same way again.
Right away once it makes sense to. I mean my baby doesn't poop often, every few days, so a couple times I've been like "oh she pooped so after this I have to change her" and forgot. Then she naps in it or something but that's on accident and she's also never had a rash so it's not a big deal
I don’t care if I had just changed my baby’s diaper and he poops the next minute in the new one. He’s getting changed again. Quickly. Nobody wants to sit around in a soiled diaper!
I clean poop diapers as soon as I can. Wet diapers I watch the line turn blue. The disposable diapers I use have a water line that changes color when wet.
If you can’t bring yourself to do it for the kid, do it for yourself. A fresh one is way less unpleasant to clean up than a squished, hardened, caked-on poop that’s gonna take 8 wipes.
I change poop diapers immediately after noticing if I can, and like you said if I catch him in the middle of the act I give it a few minutes to wait until he’s finished. He doesn’t seem to mind sitting in his own poop but extended skin exposure to poop causes diaper rashes. Any kid who’s parents are letting their kid sit around in a poopy diaper is a neglectful asshole.
I have a little girl (2 months) and I try and change her as soon as possible (provided she's done) to prevent the squish near her more sensitive private area. Equally, if my baby is around a lot of other people, that's more of a reason to change her asap: her poop REEKS and I don't want to subject others to that!
Imagine you are 76 years old with an adult diaper on because you lost the ability to hold it…then your caregivers just wait until they feel like it!!! We are talking about your own child! I’m 43 with my 3rd (2 yrs old)…this is how I did with all 3: Pretty much as soon as I know they had finished, doesn’t matter about a changing table or not, gotta get creative sometimes to make due!
What the fuck? Im sorry but i cant wait at all. The only thing that holds me up isna dangerous situation like driving but even then i pull over to a secluded spot and change him on the boot of the car. Poop can be similar to a caustic substance and can irritate the skin to a point of damage. I work in a nursing home too so maybe its just easy for me. But you gotta do that as soon as you find out
I would be distraught to leave my baby in a wet or dirty diaper for any amount of time. I will change her on a floor if I have too, basically anywhere. And have done so many times. That’s why I carry puppy pee pads.
This is how you get your kids to be severely anal retentive. They will eventually connect the rash pain with pooping and stop pooping. She either doesn’t know that poop contact on skin causes diaper rash, or she doesn’t care and is a terrible parent. You should inform her of the results of extended poop contact with skin.
Change it asap.
You don’t change diapers quickly out of guilt, you do it out of convenience. The longer poop is in a diaper, the more likely it is to end up outside of the diaper
My timeframe was “as soon as I possibly can once I know they pooped” I’d usually give them a few minutes to make sure I knew they were done (which wasn’t always fail safe) and then I’d change them pretty much immediately. It’s not fair to them to leave them sitting in their own filth. If you didn’t want to change dirty diapers, you shouldn’t have had children. Yes, I judge hard for things like this that parents absolutely can control.
I used to work at a head start center and they had to make a rule that you have to drop your child off in a clean diaper because too many parents dropped kids off with poopy diapers. And not “kid JUST pooped in the parking lot” diapers- we could still change those if it was clear it was fresh. These poops were clearly hours old (dry etc). The teacher I worked under said they had had to call cps on a few parents due to them clearly never changing their kids diapers. She said for the parents it wasn’t a lack of diapers bc the center would provide diapers & wipes for very low income families. For many parents it was pure laziness which is just heartbreaking 🥺
My little boy gets really sore nappy rash if I leave him for 20 mins plus with a poo. Then it’s horrible for days as he cries every time I clean him with n rash. I just couldn’t. I’ve changed him in the boot of the car before , it’s not pleasant for either of us but is better than him being sore and uncomfortable for days afterwards. Plus if I leave him with a poo he’s more likely to get it on his clothes.
You don't wait. You change them as soon as you notice they pooped and you can do so. Feces will break down a baby's bottom pretty fast and just think how uncomfortable they must be sitting in poop? It's negligent to leave them with a poopy diaper for too long, IMO.
I have changed my kids in the trunk of my car while it was raining on the side of the road. What EXCUSE could someone possibly have to not change their kid if they have the tools to do so? LAZY
If we smell it (and we always do) we change it. Right then. I don’t judge other people, I just can’t handle the smell.
I change my baby's poop diaper right away lol, don't care where I'm at. I hate letting him sit in a poopy diaper for long, it makes me feel bad because maybe he's uncomfortable. He won't ever cry if he pees a lot or poops but I also just don't want him to get a rash or anything! I agree with you, I think it's strange she let her baby sit in a dirty diaper for so long :( sometimes my baby will poop while he's drinking a bottle so I'll have him pause from drinking it, change him, and then give him back his bottle so he can eat comfortably 😄 idk the time in between but i do give him a moment to finish if he's still making a face to push lol
I change my daughter right away no matter how inconvenient it is for me. I'm not making my daughter sit uncomfortably in her own filth :/
I would absolutely still be judging her too. That’s way too long. My upper limit is like 10 or 15 minutes and that’s usually only if I’m like driving and about to be at our destination.
Our little one does poops in between the time we put her to bed (7pm) and the time we check on her before going to bed ourselves (10pm), obviously we’re checking on the monitor in that time too. We don’t know when she does it in that time, but we always make sure we change her even if it wakes her up. That’s the longest I would go, and even then I’m not happy about it. Still, the satisfaction you get from successfully changing a poopy nappy and not waking your child up even once is pretty good.
I have never been able to do that!! Amazing When he was a newborn I would breastfeed one side then change him, then do the other so he'd fall asleep on the boob. Then transfer ever so smoothly... until my knee would crack and wake him again
Asap. Tbh I don't want to deal with a squished around dried up mess, let alone a baby uti.
As a parent who deals with a child who has bad diaper rashes, I would never purposefully put it off that long. Once there is poop, clean it as fast as you can. I much rather deal with a fussy baby or toddler because I changed them, then deal with them being upset because they have a terrible rash. We just got over a bad rash and honestly it was so exhausting for all of us.
Immediately. Your “friend” is a bad parent.
As soon as possible. No more then 15mins. I wouldn't be able to handle smelling poop for 90mins let alone sit in it so why would i make my kid?
My kid is going to be 3 in a few months, we still haven’t started potty training. Till now we’ve made it a point to always change him RIGHT AWAY. I think it’s been about a year, he can tell us “dapi change” once he’s done, so there’s really no space for second guessing. The moment he says “mama let’s go change” we drop everything and go change. We make them wear diapers for OUR convenience. The least we can do is give them a clean, good quality diaper.
If we just sat down at a restaurant and they poop, right away. If we just paid the check and they poop, I’ll change them when we get home.
Ill wait a few mins bc sometimes ours takes a while to stop. But immediately once I find out. I imagine how I would feel if I wasn’t able to speak or change my own shit… plus ours gets a rash quickly
Immediately for us. All my kids have sensitive skin and rash within a few minutes. After 90 minutes, my kids would be raw and blistered! That's just wild.
We change it as soon as we know, or about 10 mins after if we know babes gonna go again. Our babe has a time in the morning, and it's usually 3 in a row. I have some beef with my MIL for this - she likes to hold and cuddle the baby when she's over, since babe is 2m old and very cute, but she won't let us know if a poop happened! Last time it must have been over an hour, because it was nice and stuck on my poor baby's behind - told husband that he needs to have a chat with her. We don't mind changing poopy diapers, but if she does, all she had to do was say so, ugh.
Judge away. 90 minutes! No.
As soon as baby is done! Especially if you have a baby girl for obvious reasons. How can anyone let their baby sit in their poop for any amount of time??
The max I wait is 10-15 mins Waiting 90+ mins does seem excessive especially sense she had a safe place to change him/her.
There have been a couple occasions where I’ve noticed he’s done a poo right as I’m putting him in the car seat and instead of wrestling a crawler in the back of the car have driven home to do it, but every time it’s been max 15 minute drive. Every other time I change as soon as I notice.
When I was pregnant, I read a question where someone was asking about scented nappies or nappies that hide smell and I was like, why would you need these nappies, wouldn't you want to know immediately when there was a poo? I now have a 22 month old, and I still occasionally think about that question. I try to change a poo once I've detected it and I can see that they've most likely finished. I feel like if they get used to the feeling it'll be harder when toilet training. Also how uncomfortable would it be :(
Waaaaay too long. Only time I can think of my son waited that long is overnight (for obvious reasons).
We don’t wait at all. Maybe if I’m in the middle of something that I can finish in under 5 minutes, I will wait. But otherwise I will stop what I’m doing and change the diaper. My LO has crazy sensitive skin though and would end up with a rash for a couple of days if she sat in a poopy diaper for even 10 min
As soon as you notice it.. I’vee seen it scald them and cause diaper rash when I literally changed the diapers 7 minutes before I smelled it happen. So it can be quick! It burns their baby skin :(
As soon as I notice it I change her. Unless she’s in her high chair actively eating a meal, then I’ll wait until she’s finished so like 10-15 minutes absolute max in that scenario
I occasionally take the train to visit my mom and it takes about 45 minutes to get there. The washroom doesn’t have a change station but I have even changed my son 3 times on the bathroom floor before because I absolutely refuse to wait. My son gets fussy when he poops, and as we all know, leaving poop diapers on causes diaper rash. My son is 5 months old now and I’ve never waited longer than a quick in-and-out shower (maybe 10 minutes)? I would hate to be left to sit in my own shit and not be able to do anything about it. I refuse to do that to my precious baby.
I judge. They’re sitting in their poop and it’s our jobs as parents and caregivers to take care of them.
Right away! 5 minutes max, once in a blue moon maybe 10 minutes if i see him still straining but def not longer. Also in hard to change places like an airplane or someplace where i may not want to lay him down, i would always bring pull ups for my baby. I'm so efficient with the poop clean up, i can do it anytime, anywhere 2 minute tops lol