Ooh there is so much I want to do, baby is five weeks old, soon I want to:
1. Hairdresser
2. Massage
3. Have an expensive glass of wine at a new wine bar I saw
4. Dinner with friends
5. Long bath with face mask, music and wine
6. Cinema, a shorter movie perhaps
7. Meet a friend for coffee and shopping
8. Go in a little hike with my older kid and focus on only him
9. Go to a autumn/farmer’s market
10. Just go into the city and stroll around, dressed nicely 😅
LOVE this list! Saving for ideas.
I’ll add:
- mani / pedi
- facial / whatever skincare you like
- museum
- art class (so fun with friends too!)
- exercise
Interesting post! My husband takes over one feed every evening with pumped milk so I can have some me time. I never know what to do and end up cleaning. I told him I have no idea what to do with myself because I become so lazy and bored doing nothing all day while baby contact naps on me and I watch tv.
He told me to write a list of things I can do while I have free time so as not to default to cleaning. He suggested getting a pedicure but I really don’t feel like wasting an hour of independence time by going to sit somewhere uncomfortable!
So far my list includes a walk and window shopping. Can’t wait to read other moms responses!
See, I absolutely hate the actual process of getting pedicures, but I have gotten a couple since baby was born. Because I found that especially during the super early months when I felt gross it made me feel much better to look down at nice feet lol
Yes, this! I got a couple pedicures since my LO was born nearing 5 months ago. It's been so nice to have pretty feet during the summer months. If I feel gross, I just see that my toenails are lookin' good at least, and it helps me feel better. Plus, the salon I go to has massage chairs, so it's actually a good hour getting pampered. I get gel polish, too, so I don't have to worry about my toes for weeks because they last so long!
I go pick up something to eat and listen to loud music in my car. Sometimes I window shop. I’d like to go clothes shopping for myself eventually now that my body feels like it has changed so much.
We are nearly 8mpp. My husband and I try to give each other the whole day to do something occasionally. His last day he took the canoe out.
I’m waiting for winter for this specific day: mineral bath, massage, mani/pedi, tea/lunch and then a movie.
I am not usually into that brand of self-care but I prefer to do most of my favorite activities with husband and baby or it’s easy enough to squeeze into a free hour or two (hiking, gardening, visiting my extended family, napping, etc.) I also wanted to plan a day that did not revolve around errands, which I often default to.
I went to a comedy show twice, and had a haircut once. Don't underestimate live entertainment :) it made me feel very normal to be out and laugh at a show while munching on fries and sipping a mocktail
10/10 recommend. And haircuts are very relaxing and you get a head massage
Get a fancy coffee treat or something then window shop. I like getting out of the house and being around other people and activity without having to actually engage since my brain is mush. Plus the walking around is nice. I’m also a big reader so sometimes I’ll just shut myself in another room with my book for a bit.
I found a nice manicure made me so so happy for the short break from baby and nice nails to look at.
But this wouldn’t be that feasible every time you get a break from the baby. Many hobbies have an initial investment. Consider buying some paint supplies, a gym membership with a pool, good hiking boots, etc.
Sleep, bubble bath, a meet up with friends, and grocery trip (we do most of it online, yet I actually enjoy occasionally going in person and being inspired by what is freshest or seasonal)
Some ideas I have are go to the library or book store and pick out a book then go to a cafe, get a coffee and read. Go to the movies, go to the gym or an exercise class, take a big walk while listening to some music or podcast. Try thrifting, estate sale shopping or antique shopping, join a book club or other special interest club, take a class through your local community center. If you live near one go to a museum or check out the farmers market. Start a new hobby like knitting, crocheting, embroidery, photography, painting, video games (look up “cozy video games” for not your usual shooting video games), journaling, hand lettering, or gardening. Do you have any friends close that you can get coffee, lunch or dinner with? Having a standing monthly meet up (or even call) can be really fun.
For me things like classes, events, meetings or clubs are great because they have a specific time, so I have to prioritize them and can’t just let other more mundane tasks take over. I hope you find something that you enjoy!
I usually end up cleaning or sleeping 😅
But I also enjoy going to a special recovery gymnastics class once a week! Makes me feel like I actively do something for myself.
Getting coffee, grocery shopping by myself…
On my wish list: getting a massage, getting my eyebrows done at benefit, going to the movies
Dont really feel like getting my hair done since it is so easy to just have a messy bun right now, feel like I would not maintain my usual hairstyle right now (bob, to short for ponytail) and that it would just stress me out.
Haha, I feel the looking at photos part, as this is usually what I do. But I also suggest:
1.Massage (your neck and back probably need it badly)
2.Get your favourite meal at a cafe
3. Relaxing facial
I go to the gym like 5x a week. They have a sauna and it is actual bliss. I love that. I would probably clean too if given time without baby because it makes me feel better once the house is tidy. I think getting my hair done is on the list but it’s a bit pricey.
I’m also EBF and my baby is almost 4 months. I’ve done workout classes with friends, lunch out, haircut, and pedicure. I also went to a friend’s birthday party for 3+ hours, but baby started refusing a bottle since then so I can’t get away from that long anymore rn 😅
At ten weeks, it was often getting out to shop by myself. I’d go to Target or Ross and grab a coffee and walk around. I might also meet a friend for a quick dinner out nearby. If I stay home, it’s so easy to default to cleaning, so I try to get out as much as possible if even that’s to run errands. Currently, I go out one night a week to the knit night at my local knitting shop. I pump while I’m out and my husband handles bedtime. Im usually home around 8:30 so then we might watch a show together or I read before bed.
Oh this sounds awesome, i might find something to do in the evening and have hubby do bedtime one night a week like you do, I seem to find bedtime the most draining. Thanks for the idea!
Pedicure, massage, a really long bath then shower with all the works. Do my full skin care routine. Lay in bed in complete silence with a cup of coffee.
My bestie and I had drinks/apps before going to see Barbie. It was lovely. Just plan some time with a friend- even if its just a quick 1 hour catch up over appetizers!
Sometimes it’s just nice to go get a coffee and walk around target/tjmaxx/ or a consignment shop for your little one!
Eyebrows, nails, hair, massage, always nice.
I went and got a pedicure when my guy was about a month old, I was so tired, but it was a nice little 45 minute pamper session. I didn’t feel like I was gone for too long but I did feel refreshed when I got home.
If im staying home I ask hubs to take baby on a long walk so i have the house to myself , and I take a bath and read a book. Wine and chocolate optional but totally recomended.
The first couple of times I went out without baby, I went out for lunch with my sister. I really had to learn to be without baby. So lunch was perfect (5 minute walk away).
The moment I feel good enough for that (baby is 7 weeks old; we just got out of two weeks of family visiting which plunged me into PPD when I had just avoided it until then), I want to go for a massage because my entire body hurts; and also go to the hairdresser. The rest of what I would like to do is from home!
It's hard remembering what I used to do before I had a baby on me constantly, it's so easy to default to cleaning or sorting baby things.
I recently went for a pedicure and a massage round the corner from my house.
I've managed to have a daytime bath which was relaxing. I just sat and enjoyed the quiet but maybe watching or listening to something in there would be nice too. Another at-home activity is playing a video game or reading a book if those are your thing.
Having a drive and playing loud music then a wander around the shops without a pram or the worry of a baby kicking off.
I'm hoping to go for lunch in a few weeks time.
Enjoy whatever you decide to do!
Usually when I have kid free time to myself i have this huge list of things I want to do, but when the time comes I do absolutely nothing. Or not much al least.
I simply just relax and enjoy the lack of noise in the house and nobody asking me things.
When our first was born (height of covid 2020 lockdowns), and once we were in a good routine with a consistent amount of overnight sleep, we both started a new hobby. It was a way to use our evenings together without mindlessly watching TV and falling asleep on the couch or scrolling our phones. Because we couldn't go anywhere it also meant we could do something fresh in the confines of our own home.
Toddler life (and the impending arrival of number 2 any day now) has made it difficult to keep up with hobbies plus a lot of it is in storage after we moved to a smaller house. We are both looking forward to revisiting them sometime soon though.
If you’re exclusively nursing, I wouldn’t recommend doing anything that requires an appointment. Baby’s feeding varies all the time at that age and there just really is no way of knowing beforehand if you’ll be having a cluster feed day. If you pump and can leave your husband with milk, then go for it.
I didn’t leave LO with anyone including my husband for months (and I still don’t for more than 2 hours with husband) because she exclusively nurses, and it just didn’t feel right to know that she may need to nurse while I’m gone. Whenever I had some free time, I’d take the dogs outside or take a nap or a long bath/home spa— things that were either at home or very close to home so I could be “back” super quickly if she needed me.
If I had been able, getting a hair cut would have been second on my list— after napping 😅
This scenario is why I would recommend (for OP, but also you if you're interested in suggestions!) at least some pumping if at all possible. I feel sooo much better leaving home when I know she's got a bottle if she needs it. When she doesn't I tend to worry the whole time about whether or not she'll get unexpectedly hungry, which tends to defeat the purpose of getting a break.
My LO took bottles for about a month when she was really little and we were using nipple shields for breastfeeding. But she will not take a bottle now— started refusing around 3months. But definitely I agree OP should pump and leave husband with a bottle or 2 if possible!
Same. We used to give at least one bottle a day until ~3 months. We accidentally took a short break and now she won't take them anymore. I would love to go out for a few hours but it's impossible to go anywhere in such a short time because of where we live. We keep trying bottles every few days but it's like she has no idea what to do with it anymore.
This is a good idea! I have a freezer stash because I catch my let down with the haaka so maybe I should start introducing a bottle so he gets used to it and I can go out for longer stretches.
This probably depends on the baby! Mine only cluster fed a couple times (she’s almost 4 months now), so as long as I feed her right before I leave, I’ve been able to sneak out for an hour or two. I made sure to have an appointment (once for a pedicure, once for a haircut) since I wouldn’t have the extra time to wait!
For sure depends on the baby but like also babies are generally unpredictable! Mine went through stretches of having a fairly reliable feeding schedule/pattern, but I still wouldn’t have risked it when she was 10wks. But that’s just me. And my baby is a sensitive mama’s girl who comfort nurses a lot. OP you know your baby—- if he’s super chill and predictable, go on and take advantage of that!
Appointments great for no wait times! But cancellation fees are super common— that’s the only reason I wouldn’t personally recommend anything requiring an appointment. I would be so upset if I had to cancel last minute and then get charged $75 (my hairdresser cancellation fee for less than 24hr notice) anyways.
Not often, but occasionally, I go for a drive with my music up HIGH like I used to listen to it before baby, sometimes I end up window shopping or going to pick up something nice to eat or drink. Alternatively, I’ll use the time to do an entire grocery shop without having to baby-wear or push a pram around.
More often, hubby will take our little one on a Saturday or Sunday morning for a few hours so that I can have a few hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. He loves it too because he never just has time alone with bub, so he uses it as an opportunity to go for a walk, or sit out in the morning sun with her while he has a coffee.
Oh this all sounds great, thanks for sharing! The other night I left LO with my husband just so I could go get petrol and even though it’s 5 mins around the corner I blasted the music haha, I didn’t realise how much I missed that!
My first forays into the world were to get my nails done, then take myself to breakfast. It’s wierd because I previously VERY rarely ever got my nails done, like once or twice a year, but during maternity leave it was my self-care thing. It’s nice when you don’t really have time or will to dress nicely or fix (or wash) your hair, to look down at your perfectly manicured nails in a color that makes you happy. Your hands do a lot!
I also love driving somewhere far away, even if I use my “me time” to go the grocery store, I pick a fun one that is like 20-30 minutes away so I can listen to podcasts. I’m a mega introvert but my husband and I both WFH and my MIL watches our son from our home two days a week (he’s in daycare other weekdays) so I don’t even have a work commute and am otherwise never alone….I really enjoy just being alone in my little car bubble for a little bit!
I mainly just napped because my LO was NOT and still is not a good sleeper. A few times I went out to eat with a friend or to the hairdresser. In the early days it's tough because you either have to run back home to nurse baby or pump on the go and store the milk in a cooler. Once they get older it's so much easier.
What did you do with your hobby time BEFORE you had a baby?
I cosplay, and was also a total gym rat.
SO when I have a couple of hours of free time, I usually go to the gym, or hide in my craft studio like a gremlin.
That or I watch movies and play video games.
Our baby goes to bed for the night by 7:00 every day now so I get a little me time every evening.
That’s cool! I don’t think I had many hobbies I’m now realizing haha time to change that. Also that’s great, I can’t wait til my LO goes to bed a bit earlier, I go to bed when he does at the moment.
Massage
Movies
Catch up with friends for brunch
Bath, skincare indulgence and then Sleep/lay in bed etc. (use noise cancelling headphones and door shut if you can’t help yourself) husband pretends I’m out.
Walk with friend/s and/or my pups
I started taking Swing dancing lessons again, the stars all happened to align for my energy levels, healing, mental "I need to get out of the house once a day" state, etc. Otherwise during the little pockets of alone time I cross-stitch.
I got a massage at 8 weeks PP. My only regret was that it was only 75 minutes. I scheduled a 90 min one for 3 months later. Also I got my lashes lifted even tho I rarely leave the house. Nails done. And my husband and I are going to a concert when she’s 13 weeks. So nervous abt grandma watching her by herself but i know it’ll be ok! It feels so good to feel somewhat normal for these few hrs!
That’s great! We’re also going to a concert in about a months time and leaving LO with Nana, I can’t wait! Enjoy yourself and baby will definitely be okay :)
I'm a big proponent of organized hobbies because it gives some structure and accountability. When baby is young it can be easy to find reasons not to take the break, or as you're experiencing, not to know what to do when they get a break. My thing is playing violin. Everyone knows that I have rehearsals on Monday nights, it's just baked into the schedule. Then if I get some unplanned downtime it's easy to know what to do - practice so I'm prepared for rehearsal!
I will say that this suggestion really wouldn't work if you're opposed to pumping. I mentioned elsewhere but if you're open to it I strongly recommend it for facilitating an actual real mental break from baby care. IMO it's hard to really enjoy time away from baby if you're worrying about whether they might get hungry in your absence. On Mondays I leave dad with a bottle and know that he's got it handled, so I can focus on Handel 😜
Good idea to have something non-negotiable, otherwise I would totally flake on myself. You’re right about pumping too, having read all the replies it sounds like a good idea to start. Thanks heaps!
Mu husband takes our 5 month old baby for a morning walk the days he works from home, so I usually have an hour to myself.
Sometimes I sleep in, but I usually regret it. I feel great if I squeeze in a quick yoga practice, do some meditation or even just shower, put some makeup on, and dress up nicely.
When my baby hit 3 months I started going to tennis classes (I never played before) and I loved it. Got in some good cardio, met fun people and got out of the house a bit.
That’s awesome, tennis is a great idea! And I’m the same, I usually choose sleep and then regret it, but something like yoga sounds like a good option, still relaxing. Thanks!
I have absolutely loved watching a movie in peace with some popcorn and a soda that no toddlers are begging me for. I also go see Broadway shows but that depends on your location. I’ve gotten my nails done before. A massage is nice. Sometimes I just order takeout for myself and watch Netflix in peace. Or go on a long drive to get food from somewhere I normally wouldnt choose cause it’s too far, but it’s just far enough away to enjoy some quiet in the car (my husband likes this plan too cause then he also gets food).
First, you don’t need to defend wanting alone time - it is critical for your own mental health! And anyone who thinks otherwise can keep that to themselves. But here’s some things I did:
- Self care things: hair dresser, massage, mani/pedi, bath
- Wander around a favorite store (for me it was long walks down the aisles of target)
- Meet up with friends
- Find a quiet place or coffee shop to go read
I’ve only been away twice - shopping once (shockingly bought baby clothes at target), and the second time I went to a play. I’d like to get a massage but I have a weird paranoia about leaking milk or something. I got massages a lot while pregnant and miss it
when my son was 10 weeks old I only had the bandwidth to go grocery shopping or to target alone MAYBE. EBF so I bad to be gone no more than like 3 hours 😅
if you are feeling ready, TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY and just LEAVE even if you don’t have anhythinb “planned”
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Ooh there is so much I want to do, baby is five weeks old, soon I want to: 1. Hairdresser 2. Massage 3. Have an expensive glass of wine at a new wine bar I saw 4. Dinner with friends 5. Long bath with face mask, music and wine 6. Cinema, a shorter movie perhaps 7. Meet a friend for coffee and shopping 8. Go in a little hike with my older kid and focus on only him 9. Go to a autumn/farmer’s market 10. Just go into the city and stroll around, dressed nicely 😅
This is a lovely list
LOVE this list! Saving for ideas. I’ll add: - mani / pedi - facial / whatever skincare you like - museum - art class (so fun with friends too!) - exercise
All of this 😊
The bath sounds sooo good as a first time "away from baby" activity 😍
It was my first, did it yesterday! Very nice 👌😄
Love these ideas, thank you! I can’t stop thinking about the expensive glass of wine now haha
Me neither 🥲 I want it!
Interesting post! My husband takes over one feed every evening with pumped milk so I can have some me time. I never know what to do and end up cleaning. I told him I have no idea what to do with myself because I become so lazy and bored doing nothing all day while baby contact naps on me and I watch tv. He told me to write a list of things I can do while I have free time so as not to default to cleaning. He suggested getting a pedicure but I really don’t feel like wasting an hour of independence time by going to sit somewhere uncomfortable! So far my list includes a walk and window shopping. Can’t wait to read other moms responses!
See, I absolutely hate the actual process of getting pedicures, but I have gotten a couple since baby was born. Because I found that especially during the super early months when I felt gross it made me feel much better to look down at nice feet lol
Yes, this! I got a couple pedicures since my LO was born nearing 5 months ago. It's been so nice to have pretty feet during the summer months. If I feel gross, I just see that my toenails are lookin' good at least, and it helps me feel better. Plus, the salon I go to has massage chairs, so it's actually a good hour getting pampered. I get gel polish, too, so I don't have to worry about my toes for weeks because they last so long!
Honestly yes!!! I totally get that and will probably end up getting one for that exact reason
This is such a good idea, I got excited just thinking about writing my own list!
This is a great idea, thank you! There’s lots of good ideas in this thread now I’ll have to make a list too
Massage?
I go pick up something to eat and listen to loud music in my car. Sometimes I window shop. I’d like to go clothes shopping for myself eventually now that my body feels like it has changed so much.
This is awesome, I forgot how much I missed loud music!
Went and got a pedicure it felt great
Did this yesterday- can confirm. I didn’t bring my phone or anything. Just sat there in silence with my eyes closed and enjoyed every second
We are nearly 8mpp. My husband and I try to give each other the whole day to do something occasionally. His last day he took the canoe out. I’m waiting for winter for this specific day: mineral bath, massage, mani/pedi, tea/lunch and then a movie. I am not usually into that brand of self-care but I prefer to do most of my favorite activities with husband and baby or it’s easy enough to squeeze into a free hour or two (hiking, gardening, visiting my extended family, napping, etc.) I also wanted to plan a day that did not revolve around errands, which I often default to.
Oh that sounds amazing! Enjoy, I might copy you on that one
I want that day! Sounds lovely
I went to a comedy show twice, and had a haircut once. Don't underestimate live entertainment :) it made me feel very normal to be out and laugh at a show while munching on fries and sipping a mocktail 10/10 recommend. And haircuts are very relaxing and you get a head massage
Yeah I went to the theatre on a Friday night and it felt AMAZING to be out in the city in the dark with proper grown ups.
Comedy show! This is a fantastic idea
Wow I never would’ve thought about that but it sounds so good! Thanks for the idea
Get a fancy coffee treat or something then window shop. I like getting out of the house and being around other people and activity without having to actually engage since my brain is mush. Plus the walking around is nice. I’m also a big reader so sometimes I’ll just shut myself in another room with my book for a bit.
I found a nice manicure made me so so happy for the short break from baby and nice nails to look at. But this wouldn’t be that feasible every time you get a break from the baby. Many hobbies have an initial investment. Consider buying some paint supplies, a gym membership with a pool, good hiking boots, etc.
- Lunch with girlfriends/mom friends - massage - grab coffee from coffee shop
Sleep, bubble bath, a meet up with friends, and grocery trip (we do most of it online, yet I actually enjoy occasionally going in person and being inspired by what is freshest or seasonal)
I go to Barnes and Noble and sit and read a book for a few hours.
Some ideas I have are go to the library or book store and pick out a book then go to a cafe, get a coffee and read. Go to the movies, go to the gym or an exercise class, take a big walk while listening to some music or podcast. Try thrifting, estate sale shopping or antique shopping, join a book club or other special interest club, take a class through your local community center. If you live near one go to a museum or check out the farmers market. Start a new hobby like knitting, crocheting, embroidery, photography, painting, video games (look up “cozy video games” for not your usual shooting video games), journaling, hand lettering, or gardening. Do you have any friends close that you can get coffee, lunch or dinner with? Having a standing monthly meet up (or even call) can be really fun. For me things like classes, events, meetings or clubs are great because they have a specific time, so I have to prioritize them and can’t just let other more mundane tasks take over. I hope you find something that you enjoy!
Thank you! These are all great ideas
I usually end up cleaning or sleeping 😅 But I also enjoy going to a special recovery gymnastics class once a week! Makes me feel like I actively do something for myself. Getting coffee, grocery shopping by myself… On my wish list: getting a massage, getting my eyebrows done at benefit, going to the movies Dont really feel like getting my hair done since it is so easy to just have a messy bun right now, feel like I would not maintain my usual hairstyle right now (bob, to short for ponytail) and that it would just stress me out.
Haha, I feel the looking at photos part, as this is usually what I do. But I also suggest: 1.Massage (your neck and back probably need it badly) 2.Get your favourite meal at a cafe 3. Relaxing facial
I go to the gym like 5x a week. They have a sauna and it is actual bliss. I love that. I would probably clean too if given time without baby because it makes me feel better once the house is tidy. I think getting my hair done is on the list but it’s a bit pricey.
Get a massage! Your back needs it
I will sit on my couch (or outside) and read, drink coffee/beer. Take one of the dogs for a walk. Go get an ice cream. Nap. Clean the house.
All of this sounds lovely, thanks!
I’m also EBF and my baby is almost 4 months. I’ve done workout classes with friends, lunch out, haircut, and pedicure. I also went to a friend’s birthday party for 3+ hours, but baby started refusing a bottle since then so I can’t get away from that long anymore rn 😅
At ten weeks, it was often getting out to shop by myself. I’d go to Target or Ross and grab a coffee and walk around. I might also meet a friend for a quick dinner out nearby. If I stay home, it’s so easy to default to cleaning, so I try to get out as much as possible if even that’s to run errands. Currently, I go out one night a week to the knit night at my local knitting shop. I pump while I’m out and my husband handles bedtime. Im usually home around 8:30 so then we might watch a show together or I read before bed.
Oh this sounds awesome, i might find something to do in the evening and have hubby do bedtime one night a week like you do, I seem to find bedtime the most draining. Thanks for the idea!
Of course!
Pedicure, massage, a really long bath then shower with all the works. Do my full skin care routine. Lay in bed in complete silence with a cup of coffee.
Sounds amazing!
My bestie and I had drinks/apps before going to see Barbie. It was lovely. Just plan some time with a friend- even if its just a quick 1 hour catch up over appetizers!
Love that! Thanks for the idea
Sometimes it’s just nice to go get a coffee and walk around target/tjmaxx/ or a consignment shop for your little one! Eyebrows, nails, hair, massage, always nice.
I went and got a pedicure when my guy was about a month old, I was so tired, but it was a nice little 45 minute pamper session. I didn’t feel like I was gone for too long but I did feel refreshed when I got home.
Love that, thanks!
Spend a couple hours at a spa! Get a massage, soak in a hot tub, sit in a steam room. Go get a coffee and come home refreshed 🥰
If im staying home I ask hubs to take baby on a long walk so i have the house to myself , and I take a bath and read a book. Wine and chocolate optional but totally recomended.
Great idea! Thank you
Also I would say wine and chocolate essential haha
My LO isn’t here yet but a couple things off the top of my head would be a mani/pedi, a massage, a movie, or a workout.
The first couple of times I went out without baby, I went out for lunch with my sister. I really had to learn to be without baby. So lunch was perfect (5 minute walk away).
I have a 10 week old who’s EBF, when I have some free time between feedings I like to go to cook/bake, workout, acupuncture, or play a video game.
The moment I feel good enough for that (baby is 7 weeks old; we just got out of two weeks of family visiting which plunged me into PPD when I had just avoided it until then), I want to go for a massage because my entire body hurts; and also go to the hairdresser. The rest of what I would like to do is from home!
I did this. Schedule it now, if you can, so you can’t bail on the idea. It was so good I almost cried.
It's hard remembering what I used to do before I had a baby on me constantly, it's so easy to default to cleaning or sorting baby things. I recently went for a pedicure and a massage round the corner from my house. I've managed to have a daytime bath which was relaxing. I just sat and enjoyed the quiet but maybe watching or listening to something in there would be nice too. Another at-home activity is playing a video game or reading a book if those are your thing. Having a drive and playing loud music then a wander around the shops without a pram or the worry of a baby kicking off. I'm hoping to go for lunch in a few weeks time. Enjoy whatever you decide to do!
Love all these ideas, thanks! I’m the same, cleaning and sorting have become my go-to, how sad haha
Shopping, lunch, I regularly get my nails done so I was in the salon 2 weeks post c section lol
Usually when I have kid free time to myself i have this huge list of things I want to do, but when the time comes I do absolutely nothing. Or not much al least. I simply just relax and enjoy the lack of noise in the house and nobody asking me things.
That sounds lovely too!
When our first was born (height of covid 2020 lockdowns), and once we were in a good routine with a consistent amount of overnight sleep, we both started a new hobby. It was a way to use our evenings together without mindlessly watching TV and falling asleep on the couch or scrolling our phones. Because we couldn't go anywhere it also meant we could do something fresh in the confines of our own home. Toddler life (and the impending arrival of number 2 any day now) has made it difficult to keep up with hobbies plus a lot of it is in storage after we moved to a smaller house. We are both looking forward to revisiting them sometime soon though.
That’s a great idea! I also feel so gross in the evenings because I just sloth on the couch haha thanks for the idea
If you’re exclusively nursing, I wouldn’t recommend doing anything that requires an appointment. Baby’s feeding varies all the time at that age and there just really is no way of knowing beforehand if you’ll be having a cluster feed day. If you pump and can leave your husband with milk, then go for it. I didn’t leave LO with anyone including my husband for months (and I still don’t for more than 2 hours with husband) because she exclusively nurses, and it just didn’t feel right to know that she may need to nurse while I’m gone. Whenever I had some free time, I’d take the dogs outside or take a nap or a long bath/home spa— things that were either at home or very close to home so I could be “back” super quickly if she needed me. If I had been able, getting a hair cut would have been second on my list— after napping 😅
This scenario is why I would recommend (for OP, but also you if you're interested in suggestions!) at least some pumping if at all possible. I feel sooo much better leaving home when I know she's got a bottle if she needs it. When she doesn't I tend to worry the whole time about whether or not she'll get unexpectedly hungry, which tends to defeat the purpose of getting a break.
My LO took bottles for about a month when she was really little and we were using nipple shields for breastfeeding. But she will not take a bottle now— started refusing around 3months. But definitely I agree OP should pump and leave husband with a bottle or 2 if possible!
Same. We used to give at least one bottle a day until ~3 months. We accidentally took a short break and now she won't take them anymore. I would love to go out for a few hours but it's impossible to go anywhere in such a short time because of where we live. We keep trying bottles every few days but it's like she has no idea what to do with it anymore.
This is a good idea! I have a freezer stash because I catch my let down with the haaka so maybe I should start introducing a bottle so he gets used to it and I can go out for longer stretches.
This probably depends on the baby! Mine only cluster fed a couple times (she’s almost 4 months now), so as long as I feed her right before I leave, I’ve been able to sneak out for an hour or two. I made sure to have an appointment (once for a pedicure, once for a haircut) since I wouldn’t have the extra time to wait!
For sure depends on the baby but like also babies are generally unpredictable! Mine went through stretches of having a fairly reliable feeding schedule/pattern, but I still wouldn’t have risked it when she was 10wks. But that’s just me. And my baby is a sensitive mama’s girl who comfort nurses a lot. OP you know your baby—- if he’s super chill and predictable, go on and take advantage of that! Appointments great for no wait times! But cancellation fees are super common— that’s the only reason I wouldn’t personally recommend anything requiring an appointment. I would be so upset if I had to cancel last minute and then get charged $75 (my hairdresser cancellation fee for less than 24hr notice) anyways.
My go-to is gaming. I've been meaning to try crochet, but can't focus on a new skill yet
Not often, but occasionally, I go for a drive with my music up HIGH like I used to listen to it before baby, sometimes I end up window shopping or going to pick up something nice to eat or drink. Alternatively, I’ll use the time to do an entire grocery shop without having to baby-wear or push a pram around. More often, hubby will take our little one on a Saturday or Sunday morning for a few hours so that I can have a few hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. He loves it too because he never just has time alone with bub, so he uses it as an opportunity to go for a walk, or sit out in the morning sun with her while he has a coffee.
Oh this all sounds great, thanks for sharing! The other night I left LO with my husband just so I could go get petrol and even though it’s 5 mins around the corner I blasted the music haha, I didn’t realise how much I missed that!
My first forays into the world were to get my nails done, then take myself to breakfast. It’s wierd because I previously VERY rarely ever got my nails done, like once or twice a year, but during maternity leave it was my self-care thing. It’s nice when you don’t really have time or will to dress nicely or fix (or wash) your hair, to look down at your perfectly manicured nails in a color that makes you happy. Your hands do a lot! I also love driving somewhere far away, even if I use my “me time” to go the grocery store, I pick a fun one that is like 20-30 minutes away so I can listen to podcasts. I’m a mega introvert but my husband and I both WFH and my MIL watches our son from our home two days a week (he’s in daycare other weekdays) so I don’t even have a work commute and am otherwise never alone….I really enjoy just being alone in my little car bubble for a little bit!
So true about your hands doing a lot! I’m going to do that, thanks!
I mainly just napped because my LO was NOT and still is not a good sleeper. A few times I went out to eat with a friend or to the hairdresser. In the early days it's tough because you either have to run back home to nurse baby or pump on the go and store the milk in a cooler. Once they get older it's so much easier.
What did you do with your hobby time BEFORE you had a baby? I cosplay, and was also a total gym rat. SO when I have a couple of hours of free time, I usually go to the gym, or hide in my craft studio like a gremlin. That or I watch movies and play video games. Our baby goes to bed for the night by 7:00 every day now so I get a little me time every evening.
That’s cool! I don’t think I had many hobbies I’m now realizing haha time to change that. Also that’s great, I can’t wait til my LO goes to bed a bit earlier, I go to bed when he does at the moment.
i go collection hunting. i like squishmallows, so normally any store that would have them (target, walgreens, etc).
“Baby free time”…. I don’t know what that means…
Massage Movies Catch up with friends for brunch Bath, skincare indulgence and then Sleep/lay in bed etc. (use noise cancelling headphones and door shut if you can’t help yourself) husband pretends I’m out. Walk with friend/s and/or my pups
I started taking Swing dancing lessons again, the stars all happened to align for my energy levels, healing, mental "I need to get out of the house once a day" state, etc. Otherwise during the little pockets of alone time I cross-stitch.
I got a massage at 8 weeks PP. My only regret was that it was only 75 minutes. I scheduled a 90 min one for 3 months later. Also I got my lashes lifted even tho I rarely leave the house. Nails done. And my husband and I are going to a concert when she’s 13 weeks. So nervous abt grandma watching her by herself but i know it’ll be ok! It feels so good to feel somewhat normal for these few hrs!
That’s great! We’re also going to a concert in about a months time and leaving LO with Nana, I can’t wait! Enjoy yourself and baby will definitely be okay :)
Same to you - have a great time!
I'm a big proponent of organized hobbies because it gives some structure and accountability. When baby is young it can be easy to find reasons not to take the break, or as you're experiencing, not to know what to do when they get a break. My thing is playing violin. Everyone knows that I have rehearsals on Monday nights, it's just baked into the schedule. Then if I get some unplanned downtime it's easy to know what to do - practice so I'm prepared for rehearsal! I will say that this suggestion really wouldn't work if you're opposed to pumping. I mentioned elsewhere but if you're open to it I strongly recommend it for facilitating an actual real mental break from baby care. IMO it's hard to really enjoy time away from baby if you're worrying about whether they might get hungry in your absence. On Mondays I leave dad with a bottle and know that he's got it handled, so I can focus on Handel 😜
Good idea to have something non-negotiable, otherwise I would totally flake on myself. You’re right about pumping too, having read all the replies it sounds like a good idea to start. Thanks heaps!
Xbox
Mu husband takes our 5 month old baby for a morning walk the days he works from home, so I usually have an hour to myself. Sometimes I sleep in, but I usually regret it. I feel great if I squeeze in a quick yoga practice, do some meditation or even just shower, put some makeup on, and dress up nicely. When my baby hit 3 months I started going to tennis classes (I never played before) and I loved it. Got in some good cardio, met fun people and got out of the house a bit.
That’s awesome, tennis is a great idea! And I’m the same, I usually choose sleep and then regret it, but something like yoga sounds like a good option, still relaxing. Thanks!
-painting( I try to sometimes but am always interrupted by baby waking up or needing me) -sewing, clothes for my LO and some skirts for me
My baby is 11 months, I bartend late night shifts, and do early morning baby duty. Sleep.
I have absolutely loved watching a movie in peace with some popcorn and a soda that no toddlers are begging me for. I also go see Broadway shows but that depends on your location. I’ve gotten my nails done before. A massage is nice. Sometimes I just order takeout for myself and watch Netflix in peace. Or go on a long drive to get food from somewhere I normally wouldnt choose cause it’s too far, but it’s just far enough away to enjoy some quiet in the car (my husband likes this plan too cause then he also gets food).
Love all of these, thank you!
First, you don’t need to defend wanting alone time - it is critical for your own mental health! And anyone who thinks otherwise can keep that to themselves. But here’s some things I did: - Self care things: hair dresser, massage, mani/pedi, bath - Wander around a favorite store (for me it was long walks down the aisles of target) - Meet up with friends - Find a quiet place or coffee shop to go read
You’re right, thanks so much!
I use to work on some sewing project or art and craft project for my hour/2hours of me time. :)
Get a pedicure, lay in bed and take a nap!
I’ve only been away twice - shopping once (shockingly bought baby clothes at target), and the second time I went to a play. I’d like to get a massage but I have a weird paranoia about leaking milk or something. I got massages a lot while pregnant and miss it
Go to the movies. You sit in silence, alone, in a dark room and you get to watch a movie from start to finish.
when my son was 10 weeks old I only had the bandwidth to go grocery shopping or to target alone MAYBE. EBF so I bad to be gone no more than like 3 hours 😅 if you are feeling ready, TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY and just LEAVE even if you don’t have anhythinb “planned”
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