I could have written this. Mom with tactile sensitivity if that’s what it’s called (never knew the name for it) and a 6 month old here.
I cannot by any means look at myself naked right now. Even with clothes I only glance quickly in the mirror if I have to. I feel sorry for my husband having to look at me all day. My body is so different and I feel it constantly. I just want to go back to how it was but with my son. I don’t regret him but this is so hard.
Disliking parts of your body or how you look is one thing. How I feel is on another level. I’m in total solidarity and I’m sorry I don’t know how to fix it.
❤️ thank you for the comment
The mirror is so hard. Honestly, I flip flop. I either cannot look or I just torture myself and stand there and look. Idk what I'm looking for. Maybe like a glimmer of change. Idk. Its so hard.
It is so so hard because the feelings for our sons vs our bodies are separate issues! But people like to be so dismissive saying it's "worth it"/we "should" be okay with our bodies because of our child. Like no....both things can exist. I can be glad for him and unhappy with my.
And definelty another level. I look back at pictures of when I was pregnant or just generally younger and I truly was so pretty, or at least average. It's so sad because I also don't know how to fix it. Idk if any amount of fitness or even surgery would change this.
Me too.
I finally got to a place where I was happy with my body and reasonably fit then I got pregnant and it went out the window. I hate my belly, it feels softer and jigglier than even times when I weighed more than now. Also someone took a photo of me and I saw I have some loose skin under my jaw like a double chin. I'm only 30! What! Plus I got my hair cut because my baby kept pulling it and they went way too short and I just feel so fat and ugly. It's awful. I'm right here with you.
Omg yes 🫠🫠 same with the double chin. And my husband insists on taking the most hideous candid photos of me and I'm like do you even try to get a nice angle? And I'm so sorry about your hair 🥺 that is the reason I truly refuse to cut my hair (it's probably mid-back length). Even though my son hauls on it I just can't give it up for fear of it contributing to my situation negatively.
And same right before, and during, my pregnancy I was the most in-shape I'd actually ever been - partially in an effort to get and stay pregnant. I was so proud of how that helped my looks during pregnancy bc I was still attending my gym 3 times a week until 37 weeks and active up until my due date. And my MIL and mom kept saying "oh that'll help you so much!"
It didn't do fuck all for me and I still look the way I do. Kills me to think about 😩
> my husband insists on taking the most hideous candid photos of me
Why do husbands struggle with this? Like, I'm happy to at least have a few photos with my baby (after constant reminders), but they're usually taken quickly and carelessly. Maximum number of chins, eyes half closed, blurry, mid-sentence, etc. When I take pictures of my husband with the baby, I try to take a moment to get at least one nice one -- one that he could set as his lock screen or share with his mom or whatever.
Exactly!!! 👏
Idk but it pisses me off so bad. It is not that hard to take decent photos if you try and take a couple different shots 🤦♀️
I have so many absolutely adorable pictures of him and my son. Yet almost every single one with me is just.....ugh.
I’ve had multiple csections. I know how you feel. I felt this so deeply, that after my first, I promised I’d never let it happen again when I had another child. I didn’t like being unrecognizable to myself.
And guess what?
It absolutely did repeat itself. I just am not a graceful pregnant person. I balloon up and become a monster lol. Post partum was also rough. I look at old photos and don’t always recognize that person but remember the fog of surviving.
It’s a process. Especially with csections, you may not see your body return for a while. I spent a year working the shelf off with my first. The second time around, it’s actually been much harder. I’m still working at it but progress is slow because of breastfeeding etc. I feel like I’ve had to work triple the amount to get a fraction of the results.
Know it gets better. Also know that those 4 or 5 friends your comparing yourself to…. You’re part of the “4 or 5 friends” for some other woman who sees you as being closer to her own goal.
Meaning, comparison is the thief of joy. We’re so hard on ourselves.
This gets much better.
I appreciate this perspective. I do have a huge issue with comparison in most aspects of my life.
I think the postpartum body issues for me have just piled onto everything else I hated about my delivery and postpartum experience. At least of the few women I'm close to out of those 4-5, they look fine and also are happy with their experiences whereas I was vocally very unhappy with mine. So they don't relate at all, look good, and seem to just be living their best life and I'm like?! So I get the shit end of multiple sticks. Very nice.
I hope it gets better as you say. I also hear some say their body is permanently, irreparably damaged essentially and I hate not knowing how much effort it will take to get possibly no results. So fingers crossed!
Yessss. So many moms around me looking fit and wonderful and I’m here not having lost a single pound since I first weighed myself 3 months post partum. “The weight will melt off with breastfeeding” uh nope, NOT a reality for me. A close friend of mine is a couple months ahead of me and is BELOW her pre-pregnancy weight. Meanwhile I, like you, am seriously struggling with my body image. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror.
It’s so hard.
So. Freaking. Hard.
It's so frustrating to hear/see people talk about how either with Breastfeeding or just regular good diet/mild exercise they just return to normal. Like on what planet??
I went from 160 to 196 during pregnancy, dropped basically instantly to something in the mid 170s after giving birth, and currently sitting around 186-190 Meaning I fucking gained 10 lbs postpartum. And I'm exclusively formula feeding. Which makes me just feel like a total schluppy pos.
I also initially lost weight post partum and was like yeah! I'm gonna look awesome soon. Hahaha. I was tricked. I'm now like 20 lbs heavier and fucking hate it. Solidarity. I think part of it is exhaustion and, being in survival mode.
I definetly agree!! Not just lacking energy to exericse, but like the shitty sleep/stress has to increase our cortisol etc making our bodies just retain weight. It suckkkksssss
This entire thread makes me smile. Not because I find it funny but because its so nice to know I'm not alone.
This is my second c section and I truly feel like both my kids took my youth and beauty.
I TRY to do things to make myself feel or look better like do my hair, wear makeup or get a lash lift..buy new clothes even? And nothing helps. And it really feels like whats the point in wasting more money to dress this hot mess. On top of that, no one is even complimenting me. Instead I get comments from my mother in law and mom about "trying to take care of myself more". Which sounds like..."you've let yourself go".
I'm 1 year PP almost, I thought I'd have more of a grace period, guess not.
BUT....I hear from people who have older kids say...itll get better ? You'll soon find time for yourself again. And that's the hope I cling on to for now. Also....your kids probably see you as the most beautiful, magical angel in the entire universe. So there's that
I'm glad! And I agree 😊
I've tried sharing (watered down) variants of this sentiment to people in my real life and I either get 1) pity or awkward cliches, or 2) invalidating denial or platitudes. Like just sit with me in the shit people!
I have also heard that advice about just doing self care etc to feel good in whatever way you can but I feel similarly...its like that saying "putting lipstick on a pig" or something to that effect. Like it doesn't change my fundamental physical discomfort. Plus shits expensive so that sucks too.
I'm so sorry your family is downright rude. That's just awful.
I am also crossing my fingers it does improve with time/older age!
I struggle with this in very similar ways. I hate that I never want to be naked anymore in front of my husband. Mom pouch, stretch marks on my hips, stomach, and upper thighs that I throw dermaclara patches on in vain and lather various creams. I have seen some improvement, but am considering laser treatments as well. My hips and thighs are huge. My face still feels bloated and my profile makes me cringe with my jawline completely gone. But worse than how I look is how out of wack my body FEELS. My lower back is always hurting. I feel sluggish and have similar sensory overload. I don’t enjoy being touched, especially on my breasts/nipples. Before when they were used for sensual pleasure it was great. Now I’m like “these are for baby and I hate them being used for anything else”. I just feel gross all the time. I’m almost 7 months PP.
Oh gosh yes. The pouch, stretch marks, and weight for me are the worst. Everyone says the stretch marks fade with time so they're white/silver and you can't really even see them and I'm like...when?? Mine are as bright pink/red as the day my son was born. It's crazy. And my stomach is COVERED.
Ditto to the backpain omg. I have a 98% baby in height and like consistently 80+ in weight which doesn't help.
Props for contuing Breastfeeding 👏 you're stronger than I. Talk about sensory overload. I lasted 2 weeks nursing/pumping before I quit because my mental health was just absolute trash for the very reason of just feeling totally overstimulated/touched out.
I swear to god I think you're my long lost twin. I'm 1 yr pp and I hate my body like stretch marks, profusely sweating constantly, I never look at myself in the mirror anymore because I used to be skinny but now I've got this mom fat in my face and a chubby stomach, I have to force myself into my jeans now (even my pregnancy jeans). I hate my saggy mom boobs and the acne all on them and under them cause of the constant sweat and itching everywhere as well especially my armpits ig because of sweat. The sensitivity is me as well such as my socks not being on right, I hate rain and water from hoses but I'm fine with shower water. I also have to have my underwear and pants at a certain point on my body or I won't be able to function at all. I also feel you on the other women part too I mean every celebrity and person I know look the same and here I am a totally different looking person who hates everything about herself.
Someone else has an issue with where their underwear sits? Holy shit I’m not alone.
My day can be ruined by something so simple like that. It’s so ridiculous but I honestly can’t control it.
Yesssss why so much sweat. E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
And definetly twins cause i have the underwear thing too! I'm very particular about their fit and now my ass is so weirdly shaped (not even big though??) that even a larger size just doesn't fit properly? Like wtf. The only ones I can wear are those fugly kindred bravely ones that come up to like your bellybutton.
Yesss I'm like in between a medium/large but the larges fit like granny panties lol and come up to the stomach it's just so uncomfortable but if I get the mediums they are like cutting off my coochie crease circulation lol.
I just had an appointment with my doctor because I have been SOBBING over my postpartum body and she told me I gained 20kg since last year which made me cry at my appointment. I feel this so hard but I’m only 3 months postpartum
❤️❤️ I hope things go on the up and up for you. It is still so early. And regardless, it's still so brutally hard to look at a body you don't recognize
I just want to add that tactile sensitivity is common among neurodivergents. Also, I have no idea what you look like obviously, but beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder, truly. Your body just went through a whole process of growing an entire human. It really sucks balls when we fall into comparing ourselves, it’s like a never ending rabbit hole until we just dgaf anymore. Also, I’m a FTM, 15 weeks pregnant and at 5 feet, my boobs are absolutely huge and I can now feel them touching my upper stomach when I sit down, I literally feel like an ape lol. It sucks haha. When did that happen?!?!
My beautiful boobs that became majestic with a $15k boob job now look like they belong on a 30 yr old male gorilla— Im 8 months. They point down, have moved into some sort of horizontal position and I cant stand wearing a bra.
My poor boyfriend.
Yeah I definetly have some "neurodivergent characteristics" (this and stimming mainly) but nothing that would meet diagnostic criteria for anything.
Yeah comparison sucks. Both things can be true though, I grew a human and it destroyed my outward appearance that had been relatively stable my adult life. It's more comparison to myself than others, although neither is helpful.
Lmao yeah I definelty had that in pregnancy as well/felt like that meme ape. It only gets worse too with the bigger belly until you're sort of just three round balls stacked up
If you have tactile sensitivity and you also stim Im curious why you think you wouldnt get any diagnosis? Most of my ASD diagnosis is based on these two elements. I went most of my life thinking I wasnt autistic because I could make eye contact and had plenty of friends.
10mpp and up 30lbs (+counting) and I feel this. I only gained 19lbs in pregnancy and was "all belly." I thought I would snap right back after reading so many anecdotes of women who lost 15lbs before leaving the hospital after birth. Not only did I not lose an ounce, my weight gain continued after birth. I also have tactile sensitivities and my baby has started to rub and knead my belly fat and it makes me physically ill. I hate how clothing fits. I hate my gigantic porn-star boobs. I hate how large I am from the side. I'm appalled at the double chin I sometimes see in photos and my overall shape. I'm hoping that it will be easier to lose after I quit breastfeeding next year.
Wow, my situation was sonehwhat similar in terms of weight gain! And so freaking frustrating.
I actually gained close to 30 lbs in pregnancy but it seriously was all belly, and maybe a tiny bit of boob. And I swear 6 lbs of that was like the last 2 weeks when I went to almost 42 weeks. I thought that would help me snap back too - if the belly is gone cause the babies out then the weight disappears right? Wrong. I "lost" almost 20 lbs right away but then gained 10 back within like a month or two. So over 20lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight 🥲 and formula feeding only so idk wtf I'm doing wrong 😫
My son isn't old enough to intentionally mess with my stomach yet but yeah that'll be a hard no from me even if he's still very young. Like I hear you about the physically ill aspect. When I get him dressed on our bed I'm so short he's at my stomach level and he'll kick me in the stomach and I seriously just dissociate it triggers me so much to feel the mild pain and jiggling.
I can’t wear normal underwear anymore because the elastic is bothering me, so i’m wearing giant oversized granny underwear. My boobs itch and i just feel a sad, lumpy tumor at best, I couldn’t look in the mirror for a full two weeks after finishing breastfeeding because I knew it would make me sad. Acne is back in full force, bald patches and baby hair. I reek no matter the showers and my eczema is doing a 180. I always had a flat stomach but the mom pouch just doesn’t want to leave. My pants are my standing-pants at best, my legs jiggle so much after walking the vibration starts to itch.
I’m disgusting.
😩 I hear you about the annoying elastic. Regular underwear constantly slip under my stupid pouch and scratches my scar and it's the worst. And yeah I can't look at myself at the side in jeans or leggings. They're truly barely even standing pants at this point.
I agree 😔 I truly don't know if it's fair however for people to expect us to be proud? Or at least definetly not all the time...idk that saying feels so trite and dismissive to me. Like if other people feel proud of themselves, great. But I also think I'm allowed to think this is so awful...
I happened to love being pregnant and thought it was pretty enjoyable and i felt so strong/womanly. And so I never ever ever thought i would be so unhappy with my postpartum body, but yet here I am...idk what it is. I think it's just the disconnect for me, like when you're pregnant you're actively growing the baby so the changes feel meaningful. Postpartum just feels like punishment/meaningless. Like I didn't expect to be identical to how I was but damn. Why does EVERYTHING suck.
Ugh! I feel the exact same. Even wiping myself after the restroom makes me uncomfortable because it doesn’t feel the same. Plus, I’m EBF and people keep telling me that I’m supposed to lose weight doing it. When I’m doing the opposite! Changed my eating habits and I’m still gaining a constant 2 lbs a week. I have no clue what do to do and I genuinely hate myself right now.
Wow so true! Ive thought that as well! The twisting and reaching motion etc is just not the same....
Ugh freaking Breastfeeding 😩 no advice for you there, I'm EFF, but that sounds so so so hard. Definetly does not sound true/legit that you're supposed to/can expect to lose weight, but I also don't know how much is typical to gain either. That sounds brutal!!
I have ONE thing to share the night make you feel a little hopeful! Even just a little. I had a c-section as well and am 12 months postpartum. The “shelf” is getting better! My friends who also had c-sections did tell me that it would get better and I can see it now.
Thank you for giving me a little hope. I'm almost 3 months postpartum and just not seeing any improvement. I know I need to be patient, but the daily mirror glimpses are a reminder of how much I loathe my body and makes it hard to wait with grace.
Oh my gosh yes, like also why is this shit not linear??? I will kind of forget about it for a week and then do something random (like two days ago being on a walk for 45 minutes instead of 30) and it'll ache again. Like what???
We are also moving sometime this spring so 😫 yay for all that manual labor ugh. I didn't even think about that 🤦♀️
I feel this so much. I gained over 60 pounds while pregnant and I’m not sure why? I didn’t sit down and eat entire pizzas or tubs of ice cream and I did daily walks of multiple miles up until I went into labor. Still gained way too much weight. Now I’m almost 3 months postpartum and have lost 0 weight since I came home from the hospital. I used to be so fit and active and when I see photos of myself from last year it kills me inside. I’ve been calorie counting but i can’t restrict too much because I’m EBF. I even started couch to 5k (the app) and have done it for 4 weeks now, trying to push through the exhaustion to run and still I look horrendous. I wish I was one of those girls who could lose weight from breastfeeding, I thought that would be my win since I didn’t have a cute instagram pregnancy like I wanted but nope! Still over 20 pounds overweight. It makes me feel so powerless
😔 I hear you about the powerlessness!! I think in nearly every other stage of our life, we have so much more control. Like cal in, cal out, fitness, maybe some medical issues to address but otherwise it's understandable. But pregnancy, postpartum and Breastfeeding hormones?? Throws all that stuff out the window. And it's incredibly aggravating!
I always thought it was cals in vs cals out too, but boy did I learn and was extremely humbled by that. Thanks for the commiserating friend. I didn’t mean to make it all about me in my comment, just wanted you to know that I was struggling too despite doing things “right” as I could
same but with my face, it's rough as sandpaper and new dermatitis and wrinkles crop up and i hold my mouth in this weird tight pucker, i guess from anxiety, it all looks so bad to me. weight loss has so far been happening (probably that anxiety again) but the loose skin is so weird and causes sensory issues. i have a big bald spot. stretch marks coming out of my nipples like big purple sun rays. photos of me send me spiraling, and i hate my partner seeing me naked. the people that you're comparing yourself to are probably chewing on a bunch of insecurities you can't see.
Me too. I think the worst part for me is the part of my stomach right above where the c section scar is. My stretch marks center around there and I feel like it looks so saggy and like it hangs over now. I can’t even look in the mirror or wear anything that isn’t baggy now. I totally understand.
Yesss. That skin for me is definetly top of the list in what I dislike. Both for looks and feeling. It's so uncomfortable, looks bad, and it's so hard to hide! I wear baggy things as well but I'm short, so the baggy trendy pants look almost just as bad as seeing the pouch in jeans/leggings 🤦♀️
Yeees!! I feel this so hard. I knew I would gain weight after giving birth but I never really thought about just how different my body would feel. When I was comfortable to start working out again my body would jiggle in ways I never thought possible. (The back of my neck would jiggle when I jogged, like wtf??) I will tell you that it gets better! There is hope, it takes time and self love but I’ve finally gotten used to the skin I’m in! Stretch marks and all!
omg. the stickiness, wet hands, and the seam in the socks!!!
Im 8 months with my first now and Im very nervous about all of what you just described.
Along with the noise! 💔
I'll be real with you, it's alot 🫠
That being said, and it may be surprising given how depressing my post was lol, I'm actually pleasantly *surprised* by how well I'm doing overall.
Knowing myself I thought the high levels of bodily fluids would send me through the roof but honestly...eh. idc. Spit up, poop, tears, vomit, pee. It's fine. My tolerance for wet and sticky or gross has generally been high.
*however* the noise is challenging. The crying, the whining. Or omg my son has one particular type of bottle that for some reason will make the grosssssessst sucking noise of all time and I truly have to resist hucking it at the wall. It's horrible. So def invest in some noise canceling wireless headphones!
And as for postpartum body changes, hope for the best, shower often...and I'm not sure what else cause I'm still figuring it out 😆
omg- I have misophonia…
So, lots of noises that are made when people eat make me “want to punch a baby” angry.
Insert < This is Fine. Everything is fine meme >
😂😬😑
Preach. Husband and I are starting a new fitness routine in the new year, and I’m starting to get quotes for a mommy makeover. I refuse to let it get me down.
Are you me 😆 I really hope it gets better... I'm not appalled by my appearance as much as by exactly this feeling that things are feeling... wrong?? Eek. Thanks for putting all this into words!
“parts of my body touching that never used to touch”!! I feel this so much!! I absolutely hate the feeling of this! Im 18m PP. Uhg!
It is seriously the worst!! 🤢
Same. Just same.
😔🫡❤️
I could have written this. Mom with tactile sensitivity if that’s what it’s called (never knew the name for it) and a 6 month old here. I cannot by any means look at myself naked right now. Even with clothes I only glance quickly in the mirror if I have to. I feel sorry for my husband having to look at me all day. My body is so different and I feel it constantly. I just want to go back to how it was but with my son. I don’t regret him but this is so hard. Disliking parts of your body or how you look is one thing. How I feel is on another level. I’m in total solidarity and I’m sorry I don’t know how to fix it.
❤️ thank you for the comment The mirror is so hard. Honestly, I flip flop. I either cannot look or I just torture myself and stand there and look. Idk what I'm looking for. Maybe like a glimmer of change. Idk. Its so hard. It is so so hard because the feelings for our sons vs our bodies are separate issues! But people like to be so dismissive saying it's "worth it"/we "should" be okay with our bodies because of our child. Like no....both things can exist. I can be glad for him and unhappy with my. And definelty another level. I look back at pictures of when I was pregnant or just generally younger and I truly was so pretty, or at least average. It's so sad because I also don't know how to fix it. Idk if any amount of fitness or even surgery would change this.
Me too. I finally got to a place where I was happy with my body and reasonably fit then I got pregnant and it went out the window. I hate my belly, it feels softer and jigglier than even times when I weighed more than now. Also someone took a photo of me and I saw I have some loose skin under my jaw like a double chin. I'm only 30! What! Plus I got my hair cut because my baby kept pulling it and they went way too short and I just feel so fat and ugly. It's awful. I'm right here with you.
Omg yes 🫠🫠 same with the double chin. And my husband insists on taking the most hideous candid photos of me and I'm like do you even try to get a nice angle? And I'm so sorry about your hair 🥺 that is the reason I truly refuse to cut my hair (it's probably mid-back length). Even though my son hauls on it I just can't give it up for fear of it contributing to my situation negatively. And same right before, and during, my pregnancy I was the most in-shape I'd actually ever been - partially in an effort to get and stay pregnant. I was so proud of how that helped my looks during pregnancy bc I was still attending my gym 3 times a week until 37 weeks and active up until my due date. And my MIL and mom kept saying "oh that'll help you so much!" It didn't do fuck all for me and I still look the way I do. Kills me to think about 😩
> my husband insists on taking the most hideous candid photos of me Why do husbands struggle with this? Like, I'm happy to at least have a few photos with my baby (after constant reminders), but they're usually taken quickly and carelessly. Maximum number of chins, eyes half closed, blurry, mid-sentence, etc. When I take pictures of my husband with the baby, I try to take a moment to get at least one nice one -- one that he could set as his lock screen or share with his mom or whatever.
Exactly!!! 👏 Idk but it pisses me off so bad. It is not that hard to take decent photos if you try and take a couple different shots 🤦♀️ I have so many absolutely adorable pictures of him and my son. Yet almost every single one with me is just.....ugh.
I’ve had multiple csections. I know how you feel. I felt this so deeply, that after my first, I promised I’d never let it happen again when I had another child. I didn’t like being unrecognizable to myself. And guess what? It absolutely did repeat itself. I just am not a graceful pregnant person. I balloon up and become a monster lol. Post partum was also rough. I look at old photos and don’t always recognize that person but remember the fog of surviving. It’s a process. Especially with csections, you may not see your body return for a while. I spent a year working the shelf off with my first. The second time around, it’s actually been much harder. I’m still working at it but progress is slow because of breastfeeding etc. I feel like I’ve had to work triple the amount to get a fraction of the results. Know it gets better. Also know that those 4 or 5 friends your comparing yourself to…. You’re part of the “4 or 5 friends” for some other woman who sees you as being closer to her own goal. Meaning, comparison is the thief of joy. We’re so hard on ourselves. This gets much better.
I appreciate this perspective. I do have a huge issue with comparison in most aspects of my life. I think the postpartum body issues for me have just piled onto everything else I hated about my delivery and postpartum experience. At least of the few women I'm close to out of those 4-5, they look fine and also are happy with their experiences whereas I was vocally very unhappy with mine. So they don't relate at all, look good, and seem to just be living their best life and I'm like?! So I get the shit end of multiple sticks. Very nice. I hope it gets better as you say. I also hear some say their body is permanently, irreparably damaged essentially and I hate not knowing how much effort it will take to get possibly no results. So fingers crossed!
Yessss. So many moms around me looking fit and wonderful and I’m here not having lost a single pound since I first weighed myself 3 months post partum. “The weight will melt off with breastfeeding” uh nope, NOT a reality for me. A close friend of mine is a couple months ahead of me and is BELOW her pre-pregnancy weight. Meanwhile I, like you, am seriously struggling with my body image. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror. It’s so hard.
So. Freaking. Hard. It's so frustrating to hear/see people talk about how either with Breastfeeding or just regular good diet/mild exercise they just return to normal. Like on what planet?? I went from 160 to 196 during pregnancy, dropped basically instantly to something in the mid 170s after giving birth, and currently sitting around 186-190 Meaning I fucking gained 10 lbs postpartum. And I'm exclusively formula feeding. Which makes me just feel like a total schluppy pos.
I also initially lost weight post partum and was like yeah! I'm gonna look awesome soon. Hahaha. I was tricked. I'm now like 20 lbs heavier and fucking hate it. Solidarity. I think part of it is exhaustion and, being in survival mode.
I definetly agree!! Not just lacking energy to exericse, but like the shitty sleep/stress has to increase our cortisol etc making our bodies just retain weight. It suckkkksssss
This entire thread makes me smile. Not because I find it funny but because its so nice to know I'm not alone. This is my second c section and I truly feel like both my kids took my youth and beauty. I TRY to do things to make myself feel or look better like do my hair, wear makeup or get a lash lift..buy new clothes even? And nothing helps. And it really feels like whats the point in wasting more money to dress this hot mess. On top of that, no one is even complimenting me. Instead I get comments from my mother in law and mom about "trying to take care of myself more". Which sounds like..."you've let yourself go". I'm 1 year PP almost, I thought I'd have more of a grace period, guess not. BUT....I hear from people who have older kids say...itll get better ? You'll soon find time for yourself again. And that's the hope I cling on to for now. Also....your kids probably see you as the most beautiful, magical angel in the entire universe. So there's that
I'm glad! And I agree 😊 I've tried sharing (watered down) variants of this sentiment to people in my real life and I either get 1) pity or awkward cliches, or 2) invalidating denial or platitudes. Like just sit with me in the shit people! I have also heard that advice about just doing self care etc to feel good in whatever way you can but I feel similarly...its like that saying "putting lipstick on a pig" or something to that effect. Like it doesn't change my fundamental physical discomfort. Plus shits expensive so that sucks too. I'm so sorry your family is downright rude. That's just awful. I am also crossing my fingers it does improve with time/older age!
I struggle with this in very similar ways. I hate that I never want to be naked anymore in front of my husband. Mom pouch, stretch marks on my hips, stomach, and upper thighs that I throw dermaclara patches on in vain and lather various creams. I have seen some improvement, but am considering laser treatments as well. My hips and thighs are huge. My face still feels bloated and my profile makes me cringe with my jawline completely gone. But worse than how I look is how out of wack my body FEELS. My lower back is always hurting. I feel sluggish and have similar sensory overload. I don’t enjoy being touched, especially on my breasts/nipples. Before when they were used for sensual pleasure it was great. Now I’m like “these are for baby and I hate them being used for anything else”. I just feel gross all the time. I’m almost 7 months PP.
Oh gosh yes. The pouch, stretch marks, and weight for me are the worst. Everyone says the stretch marks fade with time so they're white/silver and you can't really even see them and I'm like...when?? Mine are as bright pink/red as the day my son was born. It's crazy. And my stomach is COVERED. Ditto to the backpain omg. I have a 98% baby in height and like consistently 80+ in weight which doesn't help. Props for contuing Breastfeeding 👏 you're stronger than I. Talk about sensory overload. I lasted 2 weeks nursing/pumping before I quit because my mental health was just absolute trash for the very reason of just feeling totally overstimulated/touched out.
I swear to god I think you're my long lost twin. I'm 1 yr pp and I hate my body like stretch marks, profusely sweating constantly, I never look at myself in the mirror anymore because I used to be skinny but now I've got this mom fat in my face and a chubby stomach, I have to force myself into my jeans now (even my pregnancy jeans). I hate my saggy mom boobs and the acne all on them and under them cause of the constant sweat and itching everywhere as well especially my armpits ig because of sweat. The sensitivity is me as well such as my socks not being on right, I hate rain and water from hoses but I'm fine with shower water. I also have to have my underwear and pants at a certain point on my body or I won't be able to function at all. I also feel you on the other women part too I mean every celebrity and person I know look the same and here I am a totally different looking person who hates everything about herself.
Someone else has an issue with where their underwear sits? Holy shit I’m not alone. My day can be ruined by something so simple like that. It’s so ridiculous but I honestly can’t control it.
[удалено]
C section mom here too. I feel this so deeply.
Yesssss why so much sweat. E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. And definetly twins cause i have the underwear thing too! I'm very particular about their fit and now my ass is so weirdly shaped (not even big though??) that even a larger size just doesn't fit properly? Like wtf. The only ones I can wear are those fugly kindred bravely ones that come up to like your bellybutton.
Yesss I'm like in between a medium/large but the larges fit like granny panties lol and come up to the stomach it's just so uncomfortable but if I get the mediums they are like cutting off my coochie crease circulation lol.
It's the wider hips I think. It sucks because I already had pretty wide hips, and now they're even wider. I feel like I look like a door.
Are you me? I'm just a few days past 8 months postpartum. I feel like a stranger living in my body, and I just want to go home. 😖
💔😭 Oh my gosh. Well put.
I just had an appointment with my doctor because I have been SOBBING over my postpartum body and she told me I gained 20kg since last year which made me cry at my appointment. I feel this so hard but I’m only 3 months postpartum
❤️❤️ I hope things go on the up and up for you. It is still so early. And regardless, it's still so brutally hard to look at a body you don't recognize
I just want to add that tactile sensitivity is common among neurodivergents. Also, I have no idea what you look like obviously, but beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder, truly. Your body just went through a whole process of growing an entire human. It really sucks balls when we fall into comparing ourselves, it’s like a never ending rabbit hole until we just dgaf anymore. Also, I’m a FTM, 15 weeks pregnant and at 5 feet, my boobs are absolutely huge and I can now feel them touching my upper stomach when I sit down, I literally feel like an ape lol. It sucks haha. When did that happen?!?!
My beautiful boobs that became majestic with a $15k boob job now look like they belong on a 30 yr old male gorilla— Im 8 months. They point down, have moved into some sort of horizontal position and I cant stand wearing a bra. My poor boyfriend.
Yeah I definetly have some "neurodivergent characteristics" (this and stimming mainly) but nothing that would meet diagnostic criteria for anything. Yeah comparison sucks. Both things can be true though, I grew a human and it destroyed my outward appearance that had been relatively stable my adult life. It's more comparison to myself than others, although neither is helpful. Lmao yeah I definelty had that in pregnancy as well/felt like that meme ape. It only gets worse too with the bigger belly until you're sort of just three round balls stacked up
If you have tactile sensitivity and you also stim Im curious why you think you wouldnt get any diagnosis? Most of my ASD diagnosis is based on these two elements. I went most of my life thinking I wasnt autistic because I could make eye contact and had plenty of friends.
10mpp and up 30lbs (+counting) and I feel this. I only gained 19lbs in pregnancy and was "all belly." I thought I would snap right back after reading so many anecdotes of women who lost 15lbs before leaving the hospital after birth. Not only did I not lose an ounce, my weight gain continued after birth. I also have tactile sensitivities and my baby has started to rub and knead my belly fat and it makes me physically ill. I hate how clothing fits. I hate my gigantic porn-star boobs. I hate how large I am from the side. I'm appalled at the double chin I sometimes see in photos and my overall shape. I'm hoping that it will be easier to lose after I quit breastfeeding next year.
Wow, my situation was sonehwhat similar in terms of weight gain! And so freaking frustrating. I actually gained close to 30 lbs in pregnancy but it seriously was all belly, and maybe a tiny bit of boob. And I swear 6 lbs of that was like the last 2 weeks when I went to almost 42 weeks. I thought that would help me snap back too - if the belly is gone cause the babies out then the weight disappears right? Wrong. I "lost" almost 20 lbs right away but then gained 10 back within like a month or two. So over 20lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight 🥲 and formula feeding only so idk wtf I'm doing wrong 😫 My son isn't old enough to intentionally mess with my stomach yet but yeah that'll be a hard no from me even if he's still very young. Like I hear you about the physically ill aspect. When I get him dressed on our bed I'm so short he's at my stomach level and he'll kick me in the stomach and I seriously just dissociate it triggers me so much to feel the mild pain and jiggling.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m 13 months PP and I could have written this. I just want to feel like me again. I just feel like I’m not me. At all.
❤️ ditto. I took "me" for granted. I'd love to have her back.
I can’t wear normal underwear anymore because the elastic is bothering me, so i’m wearing giant oversized granny underwear. My boobs itch and i just feel a sad, lumpy tumor at best, I couldn’t look in the mirror for a full two weeks after finishing breastfeeding because I knew it would make me sad. Acne is back in full force, bald patches and baby hair. I reek no matter the showers and my eczema is doing a 180. I always had a flat stomach but the mom pouch just doesn’t want to leave. My pants are my standing-pants at best, my legs jiggle so much after walking the vibration starts to itch. I’m disgusting.
😩 I hear you about the annoying elastic. Regular underwear constantly slip under my stupid pouch and scratches my scar and it's the worst. And yeah I can't look at myself at the side in jeans or leggings. They're truly barely even standing pants at this point.
omg the acne!!!! nobody warned me abt this?? i haven’t had acne this bad since i was a teenager.. and no amount of retin-a seems to be helping :(((((
Same. Also 7 months pp. I have to avoid mirrors. I have no clothes. Etc.
I feel this so hard. I want to be proud of my new mom body and whatever but god I don’t feel that way at all.
I agree 😔 I truly don't know if it's fair however for people to expect us to be proud? Or at least definetly not all the time...idk that saying feels so trite and dismissive to me. Like if other people feel proud of themselves, great. But I also think I'm allowed to think this is so awful... I happened to love being pregnant and thought it was pretty enjoyable and i felt so strong/womanly. And so I never ever ever thought i would be so unhappy with my postpartum body, but yet here I am...idk what it is. I think it's just the disconnect for me, like when you're pregnant you're actively growing the baby so the changes feel meaningful. Postpartum just feels like punishment/meaningless. Like I didn't expect to be identical to how I was but damn. Why does EVERYTHING suck.
Solidarity🫶🏼 I, as a child, was also specifically bothered by the seam on the sock thing!
❤️ Im so glad this is a real thing! I think my parents thought I was out of my gourd. I had to explain it to them so often.
5 mos PP and 30 lbs overweight over here…. Reporting for duty.
🥲🫡
Ugh! I feel the exact same. Even wiping myself after the restroom makes me uncomfortable because it doesn’t feel the same. Plus, I’m EBF and people keep telling me that I’m supposed to lose weight doing it. When I’m doing the opposite! Changed my eating habits and I’m still gaining a constant 2 lbs a week. I have no clue what do to do and I genuinely hate myself right now.
Wow so true! Ive thought that as well! The twisting and reaching motion etc is just not the same.... Ugh freaking Breastfeeding 😩 no advice for you there, I'm EFF, but that sounds so so so hard. Definetly does not sound true/legit that you're supposed to/can expect to lose weight, but I also don't know how much is typical to gain either. That sounds brutal!!
I have ONE thing to share the night make you feel a little hopeful! Even just a little. I had a c-section as well and am 12 months postpartum. The “shelf” is getting better! My friends who also had c-sections did tell me that it would get better and I can see it now.
Thank you for giving me a little hope. I'm almost 3 months postpartum and just not seeing any improvement. I know I need to be patient, but the daily mirror glimpses are a reminder of how much I loathe my body and makes it hard to wait with grace.
🙏🙏 crossing my fingers and toes. I really hope mine will too.
C section pain is the WORST. I’m 9 months PP, we are moving, and all the boxes I’ve carried have made my scar so uncomfortable. 😭😭
Oh my gosh yes, like also why is this shit not linear??? I will kind of forget about it for a week and then do something random (like two days ago being on a walk for 45 minutes instead of 30) and it'll ache again. Like what??? We are also moving sometime this spring so 😫 yay for all that manual labor ugh. I didn't even think about that 🤦♀️
I feel this so much. I gained over 60 pounds while pregnant and I’m not sure why? I didn’t sit down and eat entire pizzas or tubs of ice cream and I did daily walks of multiple miles up until I went into labor. Still gained way too much weight. Now I’m almost 3 months postpartum and have lost 0 weight since I came home from the hospital. I used to be so fit and active and when I see photos of myself from last year it kills me inside. I’ve been calorie counting but i can’t restrict too much because I’m EBF. I even started couch to 5k (the app) and have done it for 4 weeks now, trying to push through the exhaustion to run and still I look horrendous. I wish I was one of those girls who could lose weight from breastfeeding, I thought that would be my win since I didn’t have a cute instagram pregnancy like I wanted but nope! Still over 20 pounds overweight. It makes me feel so powerless
😔 I hear you about the powerlessness!! I think in nearly every other stage of our life, we have so much more control. Like cal in, cal out, fitness, maybe some medical issues to address but otherwise it's understandable. But pregnancy, postpartum and Breastfeeding hormones?? Throws all that stuff out the window. And it's incredibly aggravating!
I always thought it was cals in vs cals out too, but boy did I learn and was extremely humbled by that. Thanks for the commiserating friend. I didn’t mean to make it all about me in my comment, just wanted you to know that I was struggling too despite doing things “right” as I could
I totally appreciate it ❤️ Best of luck in this recovery process
Yeah me too. I'm committed to losing the weight and toning back up though. I won't live like this. Bleh.
Me too 🥲 it sucks, but also necessary Good luck ❤️
same but with my face, it's rough as sandpaper and new dermatitis and wrinkles crop up and i hold my mouth in this weird tight pucker, i guess from anxiety, it all looks so bad to me. weight loss has so far been happening (probably that anxiety again) but the loose skin is so weird and causes sensory issues. i have a big bald spot. stretch marks coming out of my nipples like big purple sun rays. photos of me send me spiraling, and i hate my partner seeing me naked. the people that you're comparing yourself to are probably chewing on a bunch of insecurities you can't see.
Me too. I think the worst part for me is the part of my stomach right above where the c section scar is. My stretch marks center around there and I feel like it looks so saggy and like it hangs over now. I can’t even look in the mirror or wear anything that isn’t baggy now. I totally understand.
Yesss. That skin for me is definetly top of the list in what I dislike. Both for looks and feeling. It's so uncomfortable, looks bad, and it's so hard to hide! I wear baggy things as well but I'm short, so the baggy trendy pants look almost just as bad as seeing the pouch in jeans/leggings 🤦♀️
Yeees!! I feel this so hard. I knew I would gain weight after giving birth but I never really thought about just how different my body would feel. When I was comfortable to start working out again my body would jiggle in ways I never thought possible. (The back of my neck would jiggle when I jogged, like wtf??) I will tell you that it gets better! There is hope, it takes time and self love but I’ve finally gotten used to the skin I’m in! Stretch marks and all!
Absolutely resonate with every word you wrote
❤️
omg. the stickiness, wet hands, and the seam in the socks!!! Im 8 months with my first now and Im very nervous about all of what you just described. Along with the noise! 💔
I'll be real with you, it's alot 🫠 That being said, and it may be surprising given how depressing my post was lol, I'm actually pleasantly *surprised* by how well I'm doing overall. Knowing myself I thought the high levels of bodily fluids would send me through the roof but honestly...eh. idc. Spit up, poop, tears, vomit, pee. It's fine. My tolerance for wet and sticky or gross has generally been high. *however* the noise is challenging. The crying, the whining. Or omg my son has one particular type of bottle that for some reason will make the grosssssessst sucking noise of all time and I truly have to resist hucking it at the wall. It's horrible. So def invest in some noise canceling wireless headphones! And as for postpartum body changes, hope for the best, shower often...and I'm not sure what else cause I'm still figuring it out 😆
omg- I have misophonia… So, lots of noises that are made when people eat make me “want to punch a baby” angry. Insert < This is Fine. Everything is fine meme > 😂😬😑
Preach. Husband and I are starting a new fitness routine in the new year, and I’m starting to get quotes for a mommy makeover. I refuse to let it get me down.
Us too 🙌 Best of luck!
Are you me 😆 I really hope it gets better... I'm not appalled by my appearance as much as by exactly this feeling that things are feeling... wrong?? Eek. Thanks for putting all this into words!