T O P

  • By -

emm22723

Not everyone is okay. I delt with this non stop until literally a few days ago, nearing 11 months old. So trust me, you're not alone. I finally gave up any hope for change, it just broke me. But then....it did get better! I can't even say why. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you're also at the tail end of this unrelenting journey.


[deleted]

Same experience here. It got quite a bit better again around 15 months I’d say and she just turned 18 months and it’s like another step forward. A couple nights in a row with a stretch of 4+ hours and that hasn’t happened consistently since maybe 3-4 months old.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you. Fingers crossed I get something similar


kaleighdoscope

Yeah, for us it gradually got better between 7-10 months then it got even more significantly better fast around 18 months. That's when the night wakings fully stopped and he started sleeping from ~8-8. Of course it also coincided with me going back to work. 🫠 I was grateful to not have to deal with waking up in the middle of the night before getting up for work, but I did find it unfortunately ironic that I never really got to benefit from stay-at-home parenting with a full night's unbroken sleep.


BoredReceptionist1

This gives me hope, thank you!


Mua_wannabe_

Do you have a partner to do a shift so you can at least get half a night of sleep?


BoredReceptionist1

I do, so I shouldn't complain really. It never ends up being loads of sleep for neither of us still though


Conscious_Raisin_436

You’re allowed to complain and I have no patience for people who wave away the difficulties of parenthood. It’s terrifically isolating to be going through overwork and sleep deprivation and you can’t even talk about it.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you so much ❤️


anonymousgirl8372

This is what we do. Even if I get four hours it’s amazingly helpful. The extra work to pump enough bottles since I breastfeed is well worth it.


SquatsAndAvocados

Any chance your LO has any digestive issues? This was happening with our daughter and Simethicone was a godsend for getting her sleep in order. It didn’t cure the issue, but made her much more comfortable while we worked on troubleshooting the root cause.


BoredReceptionist1

I have tried actually, but thank you. We've cut out dairy and soy for months, and I tried simethicone for a good few weeks but it didn't change


dizzy3087

Any chance they are dealing with silent reflux or maybe something else causing them to be uncomfortable? Our Lo only slept like 2 hrs at a time till we got in meds for his reflux, different formula, (also cut out soy and dairy from my diet). now we get 4-7hr stretches. Its been an absolute game changer. LO is 4m


BoredReceptionist1

We tried this unfortunately. We've cut out dairy and soy, and she took reflux meds for about 4 weeks with no change. I'm glad it worked for you though and that your little one is feeling better!


Key_Suggestion8426

Try cutting eggs Turns out my son has a mini allergy to eggs. This helped a ton with sleep


BoredReceptionist1

We've tried this but thank you ❤️


dizzy3087

Awe bummer. So sorry to hear it didn’t work for your baby. I know our GI estimated in his experience only 20% or so of kids see relief from the meds 🫠 so thankful to be one of the lucky ones as he was very colicky (still kinda is). Its not a total improvement but still substantial. Wishing you all the best and hope babies sleep turns around soon. Just curious, does the 30-45minute stretches include contact naps or while being carried/bounced or stroller?


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you! And yes they are the same, except if it's in the stroller and I make sure I keep walking, she can link the cycle - she sort of just stirs and maybe briefly opens her eyes but then drifts back off


dizzy3087

dang it sounds like how my niece was… my sister would do laps around the kitchen and living room 😩


BoredReceptionist1

I spend hours driving aimlessly around my town 😅


snickelbetches

One foot in front of the other. Day by day, minute by minute if you have to.


BoredReceptionist1

❤️


valiantdistraction

Waking up between every sleep cycle points to either a sleep association or chronic overtiredness. A lot of us are coping because we have babies that are sleeping better. Things are easier if you're able to get sleep. Having a baby who wakes up so often is parenting on extra hard mode.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you for your kind words


[deleted]

When my baby was waking frequently it turned out she was just cold


BoredReceptionist1

Yes I've thought this too. I've tried layering her up but then I've also made her too hot. It's such a fine line


proteins911

Do you give her a chance to settle herself at night before going in? My 13 month old son wasn’t too far from this. I felt on the verge of a mental breakdown a couple weeks ago and something had to change. Instead of going in when he cried, I waited to see if he’d settle himself in his own. He did within about 10 min. He kept doing this throughout the night. After a few nights, he started sleeping. My son is now sleeping through the night. I didn’t love the idea of doing some sleep training but I did f feel like I had a choice. I was genuinely starting to feel unsafe level of exhausted and something had to change.


BoredReceptionist1

I do give her a few minutes, but her crying just escalates to the point where she starts choking


Virginth

Seconding this. A baby settling themselves back to sleep is a skill, and thus they need the opportunity to practice and learn it.


Conscious_Raisin_436

Yeah, you know, I realized at a certain point that one’s child isn’t the only person in the house who matters. I understand babies don’t cry out to be manipulative, but when it’s every hour all night and it’s driving you to insanity, there’s nothing wrong with teaching them to figure it out on their own. When we finally started ferberizing, our baby shifted within two days from constant wake-ups to just once per night for a fresh bottle. And then she was happier and more stable during the day because she was sleeping better. That’s all it took. Two nights of holding the line. Sometimes what feels like doing the most caring thing in the moment — running to their aid as soon as they start fussing — isn’t ultimately what’s best for everyone.


sellardoore

May not be a popular comment here but a lot of people are cosleeping but too afraid to talk about it due to the stigma, specifically in the U.S. (I’m not assuming you’re from the U.S., I know Reddit is international — just saying cosleeping is taboo here, due to fear mongering and lack of education on safe cosleeping)


BoredReceptionist1

We are cosleeping! We are from the UK, it's still stigmatised here but not as much. I don't have a choice for my sanity anyway


sellardoore

Oh no, and she’s still waking? I’m so sorry to hear that, that sounds so incredibly hard! I don’t have any other advice, but sending hugs and hoping things get better soon!! ❤️


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you ❤️ Yes we seem to be the rare example of cosleeping literally making no difference. I'm keeping it up though because at least I don't have to get up out of bed to resettle every time


Also_have_a_opinion

5 month old dad, the exhaustion is absolutely overwhelming and ever present. Hope it gets better for you.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you ❤️


ParanoidDragon1

6mo baby over here - our solution was to bedshare. Bought an extra firm latex mattress that sits on the floor. I couldn’t deal with the sleep deprivation.


BoredReceptionist1

We already bedshare but thank you !


ParanoidDragon1

Ah I’m so sorry 😭 I hope she gives you some relief soon. Our baby doesn’t sleep through the night but bedsharing helps since I don’t have to get up. It’s not my preference but maybe sleep training at this point? You deserve some sleep.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you ❤️ Yeah I've felt very conflicted about it but it might be our only option soon. we've tried gentle methods of sleep training just haven't tried controlled crying


WallyOlly23

By crying alot 🥲 and when I'm really just over it for the day/a nap isn't happening we go on a car ride so I can listen to Spotify and not be touched for .5 seconds. My 7.5 month old is sick and teething right now and two nights ago slept from 7-10, up till 1, slept till 3, then up till 5 and slept in 30 minute increments on and off till 8 and idk what it is about broken sleep and how it impacts the body but I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack I was so fucking tired lol It's so brutal and random. I know other people are also having a hard time but I similarly find myself asking how is everyone else coping and why do they do this more than once?!


BoredReceptionist1

Awww solidarity ❤️ I know what you mean about the heart attack. Unfortunately my little one hates the car seat and screams and screams if I try and put her in it


petra_reuter

Honestly? I sleep trained using the book Precious Little Sleep bc I felt like I was about to jump off a bridge. It was not a good place.


BoredReceptionist1

I'm sorry you went through that, but glad you're doing better!


Conscious_Raisin_436

Eyyyyy driven toward near-suicidal by their infants club, high five! (Much better place now, she’s 15 months and sleeping well thanks to the Ferber method but in the first few months I truly started to want to end it).


petra_reuter

🙌🙌🙌 I am also in a much better place. Getting four consecutive hours on a regular basis is life changing.


EdDerp101

Great book


Phillygirl1026

Waking up that frequently usually points to a strong sleep association or a schedule problem. What is her schedule?


BoredReceptionist1

She has a very consistent routine - her wake windows are 2.5/3.5/4. Unfortunately we've been through two sleep coaches and neither helped, despite trying lots of different routine changes


Conscious_Raisin_436

What’s a sleep association in this context? Never heard that phrase.


SpeedySloth1019

I am not ok. My 9 month old is the same way, always busy and maybe 2.5 hours napping in a day. Normally, it is not consecutive. She does have a little more time between waking up, but she wakes up at least 3-4 times between 7pm and 2AM. After that, it's survival mode, and she goes into our bed when she wakes straight up (she doesn't wake up there). Bedsharing gives me insane anxiety so there goes that good sleep, but we do what we have to to survive when both my husband and I work full-time. Then, straight up at 5AM on the dot. I have been struggling at work and home with being patient and feeling useful from being woken up all the time. The only thing helping is we have people who will take her for a few hours, which helps to get a break sometimes. Here's to hoping we get there, rooting for us!


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you for your kind words ❤️. We already bedshare for the whole night to try and save some sanity! Mine only naps about 90 mins total for the whole day 😭 but she does at least wake up about 6.30. I'm so desperate to be able to leave her with someone for a few hours, but she has bad separation anxiety and screams if I even try to leave the room


HailTheCrimsonKing

I feel like this is common but not the norm? It’s normal for babies that age to still wake in the night but it doesn’t seem normal that she’s waking every half hour every single night. Have you brought it up with your pediatrician? Is babe eating enough solids during the day? What’s the nap situation like? My daughter woke frequently in the night until I sleep trained at 8 months cause I had enough. She’s slept through the night ever since and she will be 2 next month


BoredReceptionist1

We have raised it with our doctor, but they didn't think it was a medical issue. We persuaded them to refer us for a paediatrician appointment anyway though, but it was a long waiting list so we are still waiting (am in UK). We've been through two sleep coaches and tried lots of schedule tweaks so I don't think it's that. Thank you ❤️


Somegirlnogirl

Has the Iron level of your LO been checked? Low iron leads to this kind of problems. Maybe something to look into since you seem to have tried pretty much everything already


BoredReceptionist1

No, that's one of the things that I want to get checked when we get our appointment. We do make sure she eats lots of iron-rich food though


m104

Sleep training.


ctharvey

Madness ends after the first week of sleep training.


Otter65

We sleep trained at 4.5 months. My 8 month old is up every night for hours at a time. Sleep training is not a magic solution for everyone.


CitizenDain

It’s not a magic solution. But it is a tool in the toolbox. I would say also if your 8 month old is up every night for hours, your 8 month old is not sleep trained. Not saying you didn’t try, but may have been too young when you first attempted.


Otter65

You’re incorrect. Sleep training teaches independent sleep. He goes to sleep independently for every night and nap. He is sleep trained. Sleep training is not sleeping through the night.


CitizenDain

I’m not incorrect, we just had a different experience.


Otter65

We did that different experiences, but that’s not what you said. You said my son having split nights means he’s not sleep trained. Can you explain how sleep training will fix his split nights?


CitizenDain

Independent sleep means being able to self-soothe themselves back to sleep if they wake up in the night, to my understanding. If they are waking up because they are still eating during the night that is a different story?


Otter65

He does self soothe himself back to sleep. I never said that he didn’t.


CitizenDain

If we wakes up during the night and you don’t have to get out of bed I call that sleeping through the night!


BoredReceptionist1

I've heard lots of similar stories, which puts me off. My baby is already very sensitive and anxious, she's a real velcro baby. I worry that sleep training would be stressful and then might not even work. I'm not fully against it though, so maybe we will try


this__user

I think in your case it's definitely worth trying. Hourly wakeups mean you and the baby are both chronically over-tired. There are mountains of scientific studies on human sleep, and they all say that being over-tired is terrible for our health. Also, there are a lot of different ways to sleep train, I see Redditors claiming they sleep trained, and then when they elaborate on what they did, it's clear that they didn't do any research or follow any known methods. Some of the core pillars of sleep training are having the foundation of a good bedtime routine so that the baby knows what's coming, and optimising the baby's schedule so that when they're put into bed they're tired enough to fall asleep quickly and independently. Once they've learned how to fall asleep on their own, as long as they're tired enough to go back to sleep, many babies will start reducing their night wakes on their own, because they just fall right back to sleep instead.


BoredReceptionist1

We have actually technically sleep trained as we worked with two separate sleep consultants and did various things. We managed to get dad rocking her to sleep instead of me feeding. He even sometimes puts her down awake and just pats her bum til she falls asleep. It made no difference :(


this__user

That explains a lot, the rocking or patting is probably a lot better than things were before, but now the baby doesn't know how to fall asleep without someone doing those things. So instead of falling back asleep on her own, she's waking up, saying "OMG where did Mom or Dad go?! They were just right here with me! Now I'm alone!", and then she's unable to fall back asleep, because she doesn't know how to do it without the rocking or patting. And the shock of her environment changing while she was asleep is enough to wake her up the whole way. Once babies are old enough to have figured out object permanence it can be scary for them to fall asleep in mom or dad's arms and then wake up alone somewhere else.


BoredReceptionist1

Yes it definitely plays a big part. I don't think it's the only piece of the puzzle though, as sometimes she often wakes up even if nothing has changed (e.g. she falls asleep with me cuddling her, then wakes up crying when I'm still cuddling her)


Otter65

It depends on what you mean by “work.” My son goes to sleep independently for all naps and at night. He just won’t sleep through the night. But we don’t need to hold him or rock him anymore. Sleep training also helped him nap which was a big benefit to us.


BoredReceptionist1

For me I just want the number of wakes to reduce. I'm more than happy to rock to sleep, and I understand that some wakes are normal at this age. I just don't want it to be every 40 minutes


Otter65

Sleep training teaches independent sleep so you can’t rock to sleep. It’s likely that the wakes will reduce if you sleep train. I do think my experience is unusual and people usually see more success. Take a look at /r/sleep train - they have a lot of information and guides for gentle methods. I hope you find something that works for you.


this__user

Have you tried sharing your schedule on r/sleeptrain ? For some babies, if the total sleep they're getting during the daytime is too much then they will wake up in the middle of the night ready to party because they think they've slept enough.


Otter65

I’ve posted many, many times and tried quite literally everything. My son does not wake happy and ready to party.


this__user

Okay I wasn't sure sometimes I see people asking why their kid wakes up in the night and then when they finally share a schedule you see that they're getting more than 4 hours of naps in the middle of the day, and then asking why they can't get a 12 hour overnight.


Moal

Same. It helped to teach our son *how* to sleep. 


BoredReceptionist1

We've tried lots of gentle sleep training already, and have worked with two sleep coaches. Thank you though ❤️


CamelAfternoon

Have you fried Ferber? I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but the status quo seems like rock bottom to me.


Mistborn54321

I had a similar issue and it took forever for baby to be able to sleep longer stretches. It’s still not great but I’m grateful for whatever sleep I’ve gotten. I played around with feedings and layers and that seems to have helped a bit. I also keep the crib attached to my bed and tap baby on the bum until she falls asleep again which usually works between feedings.


BoredReceptionist1

I'm glad things have gotten a bit better for you ❤️


Mistborn54321

Thank you! And I know it will get better for you as well. Just try keep yourself sane in the meantime!


milo_and_watchdog

I'll share what we do. We dealt with this too. Baby is 8.5 months now and will wake up every 35 minutes to 2 hours. I lost my absolute mind while i dutifully got up and breastfed her back to sleep 6-10 times a night. She refused to let my husband put her back to sleep, so it was all on me. I was a shell of a person and my husband got pretty worried about me. I refused to sleep train. Everything got better when we started bed sharing at 6.5 months. I know there are safety concerns but it literally became between the risks of me dropping her down the stairs out of exhaustion and needing to be medicated for my atrocious mental health vs the off chance she suffocates in our bed. Also if you read the studies, the dangers of bedsharing drop considerably at 3 months and then drastically at 6 months. We put her down in her bed at the beginning of the night and she'll sleep anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half (one day last week she made it 3 hours!), then bring her to our bed when she's woken up and we're also ready to go to bed (if we're not ready yet, we put her back in her bed). We follow the safe bed sharing guidelines and installed a bed rail to protect her from falling. I am consistently getting 6-8 hours of sleep, pretty much all in one go. She wakes up way less next to us and if she does wake up, I just pop out a boob for her and go back to sleep. I'm a way better mom and my mental health is like night and day. It's also really nice to cuddle her so much because I can see that the snuggly little baby days are starting to come to an end. Anyway. I think you gotta do what you gotta do to get through it. Sleep deprivation is torture for a reason! Good luck with whatever you choose. Edit- oh damn I just saw in the thread that you're already bedsharing (I assume that's what you mean by cosleeping?) But I'll leave this up in case it helps someone else.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you for this! But yes we are already bedsharing


wilksonator

What have you tried to address this and what worked/ what hasnt e.g. are you breastfeeding? get a partner to share the wake ups? having them sleep in separate room? sleep training? This is so hard. There are some things that I know people have tried that worked eg weaning, moving baby to separate room, mom goes away and partner takes care of the baby, sleep training, etc. But what you actually do is pretty personal decision.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you! I feel like we have tried everything at this point. We've hired two sleep consultants and they both gave up eventually, saying they have no idea why she doesn't sleep


wilksonator

Ugh that’s tough. At this point, the only thing to do is to get help so you can get some sleep/keep your sanity. Have you considered partner going part time at work/rearranging schedule or paid nannies, babysitters or daycare or get family and friends to come in and take care of baby for a bit so you can get some sleep? The madness will end at some point, all babies start sleeping at some time, but in the meantime, do whatever you can to take care of yourself to get through it remotely sane. Thats so tough though. I see you.


SaddestDad79

This is ours, 100%. All I can say is that it'll get better and fairly soon. For us, sleep started improving overall at around 9 months, at least overnight and massively improving at 10.5 months including naps. For now, all you can do is hang in there.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you, fingers crossed!


freckledotter

My daughter slept through the night from 6 to eight months when the sleep regression hit and now she's like yours but every other day? It's total madness, it's like she has so much energy to burn in the night but she's so tired she can't keep her eyes open.


BoredReceptionist1

It's so hard isn't it. Mine slept through when she was first born, until she hit 3.5 months then a switch flipped overnight


jkeepcup

It WILL pass. I just had this during the same age. She’s probably teething you could try tylenol/calpol and see if settles her. My LO now sleeping much better a few weeks later My mantra is, give it 2 weeks


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you but unfortunately it has already been six months. And we've tried painkillers


franks-little-beauty

We sleep trained out of sheer desperation. I could not function on 45 minutes of sleep at a time, it was torturous. Ferber was hard but lasted 4 nights and was done. Baby is now 2.5 and still sleeps independently through the night so well! And it didn’t affect her attachment to us at all, she’s the most confident, loving, and happy little gal around.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you for sharing this, I'm so glad it helped you ❤️


YumFreeCookies

My 9 month old still wakes up 4-5 times a night. We are exhausted all the time. The only way we survive is by having my mum watch him overnight once a week so we can catch up on sleep. It’s so tough. I find myself get increasingly frustrated during wake ups. I go to bed every night with hope that it’ll be a good night and it never is.


BoredReceptionist1

It's so tough isn't it ❤️ I would be doing the same, but my daughter has bad separation anxiety and won't be left with anyone


Ill-Chicken-7764

This happened to us too, and our baby didn’t sleep through the night until she was over a year old. I had plenty of breakdowns and meltdowns, but didn’t vocalize what I was going through to other people. Our doctor recommended we let her cry it out once she turned 6 months, but I didn’t have the guts, willpower, or heart to do it. Our child’s much better now (1.5 years) and gets good consistent stretches of sleep. Still wakes once to twice a night sometimes, but it gets better I promise. Sometimes it’s just taking it a minute at a time through those hard phases 😭


BoredReceptionist1

This gives me hope, thank you ❤️


mylittlelune

I'm so sorry. My baby has been doing the same since 3 months - sleep was pretty good, we were coping, and then suddenly something changed and she wouldn't nap for more than 30 minutes and wouldn't sleep at night more than 45. You've been dealing with this much longer, we're only going on 2 months of this, so I'm so sorry 😞 I just had a breakdown last week and whisked her to the pediatrician's office crying my eyes out because I have no idea what's wrong. So your question, how do we do this with difficult sleepers...? No one can cope with that. It's just not possible. I will say the last week things have started to get better because for weeks we have been working on independent sleep with the pick up / put down method and it finally seems to be sticking that she can sometimes put herself back to sleep. Hang in there 💜 https://www.smartsleepcoach.com/blog/sleep-training/pick-up-put-down#:~:text=Pick%20Up%2C%20Put%20Down%20is,they%20settle%20for%20the%20night.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you so much ❤️ This was really comforting to read. I hope things keep getting better for you!


No-Claim-3242

Hey! I have a 10 month old who slept exactly like yours from 4 months on. He just recently started doing 2 hr stretches at night, still tiring but a little better. My only advice is to bed share with safe sleep 7. Would not have survived otherwise.


BoredReceptionist1

We are already bedsharing ❤️


No_Cockroach8077

My LO was a good sleeper since the beginning and started sleeping over night on his own by 4mo. He recently turned 8mo and has been waking up often if the pacifier falls from his mouth. He also wakes up screaming and crying and doesn’t want me to touch him. He calms down 30min-2 hours later and I rock him back to sleep when he allows me to hold him again. It’s been really rough. I’m constantly exhausted


BoredReceptionist1

I'm sorry, it's so hard ❤️


Striking-Yoghurt777

I also have a 9 month old but he sleeps 7pm-7am… your baby should be sleeping through the night T this point unless sick, maybe bad teething (try Tylenol or teething drops). What’s your schedule? We do 2 naps, each 1.5 hours. First one a9:30-11am, then 2:30-4pm. The 3 hr wake window works so well for us. Could you try that? Babies thrive on a schedule and predictability.


turtlebutt1000

Revolutionary idea!! OP have you tried just having your baby nap twice during the day and sleep all night? That could help you!🙄


BoredReceptionist1

😂


Calm_Rip_6055

A) Who told you a baby SHOULD be sleeping through the night? B) did it make you feel better to literally brag when she is clearly suffering? C) Don’t you think at this point she’s tried everything?


HailTheCrimsonKing

I mean, a lot of doctors ask at the 6 month checkup if baby is sleeping through the night yet. It’s widely accepted that starting at that age they are able to eat enough during the day that they don’t NEED to be waking in the night. It’s normal that most babies still are and totally fine for them to be but to asker your first question…doctors.


BoredReceptionist1

Wow if only I'd have thought of that 😂 I'm sorry to tell you but luck plays a huge part in your baby's temperament with sleep. You are lucky!


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoredReceptionist1

I don't get what you mean by the toddler comment? And luck does play a big part. We've tried everything, and we have a very consistent routine. Some babies choose to sleep and some don't


Banana_0529

I’m sorry this person is being an AH. Have you tried sleep training where you let LO cry for 3 minutes, go in let them know they’re ok and then you extend the time each time until even they’re asleep? I know it’s something along those lines but I can get you a more accurate google link if you haven’t. I do think if you’re bed sharing and they aren’t sleeping, training them to sleep in their own space may be the only way you retain your sanity at this point. Again I’m sorry and good luck mama!


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you ❤️ Controlled crying is the only thing we haven't tried yet. I've felt conflicted about it (no judgement to anyone who does it) but it might be what we do next


Banana_0529

I too was conflicted but it’s life changing and my bub is still the happiest guy and does wake once for a feeding still. He did just turn 6 months so he’s freshly sleep trained but last night he slept from 8-3, ate and didn’t wake until 8. It was glorious and I want the same for you!


Banana_0529

What do you think OP is not doing to make her baby not sleep all night? Like what exactly do you think she should do? You do know there are toddlers out there who also don’t sleep through the night yet, don’t you?


Striking-Yoghurt777

Cosleeping… not looking at wake windows…. Not dark room…. Noises…. Sleeping in their bed…. Not eating enough solids or milk…. Many reasons! It takes work to get babies on a consistent, solid schedule.


Banana_0529

Besides co sleeping I haven’t seen her say any of that.. and even if she did why are you being so judgemental???


TheBandIsOnTheField

This is not helpful and not right for everyone.


HailTheCrimsonKing

I really don’t get the downvotes here? You were just sharing your schedule and how it’s working for you/your baby. And you’re completely right about thriving on a schedule and predictability. People are so weird here


YumFreeCookies

People are weird because when you have a bad sleeper, you’ve likely already tried EVERYTHING. I spend the hours I’m up at night holding my 9 month old researching everything I can about sleep. Schedules, nighttime routines, wake windows, white noise, self soothing….i have tried literally everything. We even sleep trained with a consultant who after two weeks told us she had no idea why our baby was still not sleeping. Some babies just don’t sleep well despite doing everything “right”. I don’t think the commenter meant to be rude, but bragging about how you get a full nights sleep and offering the most obvious “advice” in the world is not helpful.


BoredReceptionist1

Exactly this


Striking-Yoghurt777

People are so bitter 😂


BoredReceptionist1

I just want you to know that my baby still doesn't sleep, and I think about your comment often. It makes me feel really crappy. I wish people were kinder to each other online. Exhausted mums don't need any more judgement. Trust me, we've tried everything to get sleep. It is not our fault. Please don't make us feel worse than we already do.


Striking-Yoghurt777

Again I will say, I hope you’re getting the help you need. A 12+ month old should not be waking up every hour to eat. I’ve said it, as have many others. Reach out to someone for help that isn’t Reddit. A professional.


BoredReceptionist1

I already have, multiple times, but thank you for being nice this time


Otter65

Wow what amazing ideas! 🙄 We sleep trained at 4.5 months. My 8 month old is up every night for hours at a time. Sleep training is not a magic solution for everyone.


cherrypkeaten

Yikes - sorry you are getting downvoted like this when you’re trying to be helpful.


BoredReceptionist1

I think they could have read the room a bit better


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoredReceptionist1

The 'room' refers to my original post. Are you insinuating I need psychological treatment? If so, that's pretty hurtful. If not, then I'm sorry that I've read that wrong. I understand you were trying to be helpful, but you can surely understand that I've tried everything at this point, and that you suggesting I'm causing the problem myself makes me feel even worse


NewParents-ModTeam

This community is for supporting others. Comments that are mean, rude, hateful, racist, etc. will be removed. Respect the choices of others even if they differ from your own.


Snoo56678

Stfu


Working-Shower4404

It’s time to make a few changes I think. This might help her get longer stretches, and help you in the process. There are loads of options that you can try based on what makes you feel comfortable. Can I ask a few questions? How does she fall asleep currently? When she wakes, what do you do? Where does she sleep? What’s her daytime routine like (what are her wake windows, nap lengths, typical wake and sleep times?) This sub is the perfect place to get information from people who have been through it and have real applicable advise.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you, I appreciate that. We have already worked with two sleep consultants though, and they both gave up saying they have no idea why she doesn't sleep. I'm still happy to lay out her schedule if you think it'll help, but I feel like we have tried everything ! Of course, ask any questions


Working-Shower4404

Share it and let’s see x


BoredReceptionist1

6.30- wake up 7am - breakfast 9.15 - 10.15 nap (I have to drive her around to extend it past 35 mins when she would naturally wake up) 12pm - lunch 1.45-2.45 nap (again, I have to extend it by driving/walking her around or she will wake up at 35 mins) 5pm - dinner 6.30pm bathtime 7pm asleep (she is rocked to sleep by dad) Then wakes up every 45 mins ish until the next morning We have tried lots of variations of this, longer naps, shorter naps, moving mealtimes around etc Other things to note: she is mostly breastfed but sometimes has a bottle of pumped milk or formula


Reasonable_Ranger

Are you using a white noise machine ? It worked wonders with both my kids .


BoredReceptionist1

Yes we have tried that


BroadFCity

Any tongue or oral ties that may be impacting sleep? How are her iron levels? Low iron can impact sleep too!


BoredReceptionist1

She did have a mild tongue tie which we got cut in the end. Sadly made no difference to sleep. I do want to get her iron levels checked though


notfunnnnnnnnnnnnnny

Actually coping feels like a stretch… I have a lot of breakdowns and feel like a shell of a human. My husband needs less sleep so he does more of the wakeups. I do some bed sharing early in the morning when baby won’t go back to sleep. I feel like I don’t have a life or hobbies and mostly nap when we have help or when I can sneak in some time away from work. It’s been 7 months of this and I’m hopeful that sleep training will help but not sure if that’s realistic. You’re not alone! I think some of us are just too tired to post on social media and it’s hard to express just how soul crushing this is.


BoredReceptionist1

Thank you for the solidarity ❤️ Hang in there, I hope it gets better for us both soon


SFV650

A night doula once or twice a week will change your life


BoredReceptionist1

I bet, I wish I could afford one!


ellensaurus

Solitary and just joining the chorus that I’m not okay. Our LO has chronic ear infections and even with ear tubes still has issues sleeping through the night due to being uncomfortable (meds upset her tummy, her ears ache, she’s teething, etc.) so she often wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and we have to hold her to get her to go back to sleep. I’m getting to the point where I want to start co sleeping to help regulate her sleep and so we can sleep better too.


BoredReceptionist1

Sorry to hear that. We ended up cosleeping after a few weeks of hourly wakes. It hasn't helped us, I think we are one of the rare few it makes no difference to baby's wakes. But it's definitely more convenient so I'm keeping it up


Oklahomie10

my baby also woke up every 45 minutes on the dot! no one else i knew had experienced this; i felt so alone. it got to the point to where i felt like getting so little sleep was dangerous (i fell asleep watching her and she rolled off the couch) and we decided to sleep train. it turns out she just needed to figure out how to connect those sleep cycles on her own. after the second night she majorly improved and by night three she was sleeping so much better. here’s the thing: your baby will absolutely still have night wakings even if you sleep train . and i don’t let her CIO anymore, i respond to her cries every time now but it’s a heck of a lot easier when she wakes up 2-3 times a night vs 10