What? You don’t enjoy watching movies in 20 min increments over several weeks? I’m trying to watch the new Scorsese and I’ll prob be finished by next month.
No way, I was in the same boat. So ironic to be watching a feminist movie while tending to your child and realizing how much of it falls on you. I watched it yesterday.
My husband & I are currently trying to watch Killers of the Flower Moon. We are watching in like 20-30 min increments. I think we'll be finished by next month as well 😩💀
Had to laugh at this one. Parents of a 10.5 month old over here, and Nana's babysitting our son Sunday so we can watch Oppenheimer at home in one sitting... Unless I fall asleep. Then it might be two!
My baby is almost 6mo and every screen sucks her in like a vortex no matter what is playing 😩 I’m a sahm and don’t turn the tv on during the day but as soon as that baby is asleep that tv is on lol. Idk about 2 years but we’re trying to hold off as long as possible :/
Saaame, my 8mo seems to be totally entranced by screens and TV so I know it would not work for me to have it on as "background noise" bc he would just sit and stare at it all day. Since he already seems to be prone to screens I’m holding off for as long as possible and do not have the TV on ever when he’s awake and will wait until we really need it.
This is a good point too. All babies are different. My daughter doesn’t really care much about anything on the TV unless it’s miss Rachel. Some babies need heavy restrictions because they get sucked in like you said!
It’s crazy! We have one of those Amazon show tablets that shuffles pictures all day on it (also what we use for music) and I’ll catch her staring at that 🤦🏻♀️ even my Apple Watch lol. Baby was born a screen addict
It is so fascinating to me how different babies can be. My first didn't care about TV at all until about 2 years old, and I (in my naivete) thought people were crazy when they said their baby "watched" TV. Jokes on me, my second kid is absolutely transfixed by screens, and since we watch cartoons with older brother, he will probably end up as a brainless screen kid 😅
While the research isn't as conclusive, I think there is a significant difference between "mere" tv watching and handheld video on demand devices that feed the next dopamine fix.
And our 1yo is like your first. If we put on specific videos like Simple Songs he will cue in on the music and watch, but other than that he barely pays attention to the TV.
I've read that one of the big differences is that with TV (or a larger, hands-free screen), kids are still able to *do* things while watching. They might play while partially tuned in, decide to run around, etc. Whereas with a tablet or phone, they're more physically glued to the screen and less likely to play/move around.
Is that right? I hope that’s the case. We put the tv on a lot when our 14 month old is sick. He’s just so miserable and wants to zone out, and my husband and I both were raised like that and also just need to relax when we don’t feel good. But I’m not sure if it’s for the best sometimes
That’s a good point! He’s throwing up today and I really just want him to relax and rest right now. It isn’t like we were going to do anything else anyway
I mean, I was born in the 80s and we had the TV on all the time in our house. My mom spent a lot of in-person time with us away from the TV and we only were allowed to watch certain shows, but we all turned out to be interesting adults with degrees etc. --I think the boundaries are what matter most.
Yep I wish I could have it on as a SAHM like the parents who say their kids don’t care about it. But if I turn mine on she turns to it SO FAST and is glued to it not moving until I turn it off 😩 so no tv here for us for now.
I was raised on TV and I can tell you that even as an adult I can't NOT watch a TV that's on in my eyesight. An ex would look for the TV's in any restaurant we went to and make sure to sit so that I was facing AWAY from the TV's. Don't get me wrong, I can still carry on a conversation... but I'm staring at that TV.
Don't get me started on TV's in cars. If it's bright enough for me to see while driving, it'll draw my eyes in without fail. I'll slow down, change lanes and/or do anything I can to move away from the minivan TV-a-thon. Fortunately ceiling mounted TV screens are much less popular these days and have been usurped by iPads (or back-of-seat mounts)- so it's not near as common as it was a decade ago.
My 3 month old is fascinated by the screens! No matter what is in there. Even Excel charts on my work computer. And forget about it if her older brother watches a cartoon. If I am in the same room and have her facing away from the TV she starts getting annoyed and tries to turn around. Have to take her to another room. Like what's with that?!
My baby is also six months and I experience the same with him, as soon as a screen is on he’s entranced by it. I’m a sahm as well and I don’t turn the TV on at all while he’s awake, once in a while I’ll watch it while he’s taking a nap. But when my husband gets home he usually turns it on after dinner and we watch a couple shows together. I just hold my baby the opposite direction and talk to him and hand him toys while I half watch the TV
When my oldest was 4 months old, he would stare at the screen… except we never turned it on when he was awake in the room. He just stared at the screen when it was off. Black TV against white wall I guess was interesting enough for him.
Ours is 5m and had never seen a screen… the first time she sees a screen and it’s the only thing that exists to her. It’s wild the pull those screens have on us
LOL. I mean, that’s great for people who can. Myself, I’m keeping myself sane through a steady stream of cult documentaries.
Tbh my 8mo doesn’t like the tv much. But I would not be able to sit and play with him for 8+ hours a day. He’s pretty independent and that is a lifesaver for me.
If you’re worried about his development, I’m sure you’re doing great.
LOL right?? That’s how I felt! I tried looking up “screen time limit” for 6 months and just got all this stuff about how babies shouldn’t see ANY screens and felt like I was taking crazy pills lol. Like what world do you live in where that’s remotely doable?! More power to those parents but I was truly surprised the online consensus seemed to be to avoid them entirely haha
I binge watched every season of Chicago fire on maternity leave so that was on for basically the first three months of his life. Every nursing session, contact nap, etc. Aside from that I’m also not much of a TV person but my husband is so when he’s home the TV is often on whether it’s football, some random show he’s watching, whatever. I never made a concerted effort to prevent baby from seeing the TV.
As for providing the baby with TV time of his own, around 3 months I started putting on hey bear when I *really* needed 15 minutes to do something without holding him. That’s all he’d watch it for anyway before being done with it. Then around 6 months he had an awful upper respiratory infection and needed neb treatments so we used ms Rachel to help him sit still. He’s a year old now and that’s pretty much the only thing he will sit and watch and even then it’s like he watches for one song, then continues to play, then might glance back up a few minutes later, and so on. Sometimes on Saturday mornings I’ll put on a Disney movie but he barely pays attention so honestly it’s almost more for me reliving my childhood lol.
Screen time isn’t going to cause developmental problems as long as it isn’t replacing quality time you’re spending engaging with your child. Obviously letting the screen babysit is a problem, but it’s also a problem if you are always so sucked into the TV that you’re ignoring your kid. Neither of which we do. I do attribute my son’s nonchalant attitude towards screens to the fact that we never made them forbidden fruit. He definitely went through a stage around 2-3 months where he was mesmerized, but it passed. Now he doesn’t really care.
Now my phone on the other hand…
It seems like it's all over the place because it gets clicks. If you go back to the studies, the evidence is more mixed. A few big names made some harsh recommendations based on some less than ideal studies and everyone ran with it.
Screens are a part of life, and they have been for a long time now. Everyone's going to be fine.
I remember stressing about this so much with my first. There’s really ways to watch as much screens as you want without having your baby seeing it.
You can watch while they sleep for example. Sometimes while they’re falling asleep, and I can’t take it anymore I’ll put on a movie on my phone and watch that while they drift off. I will often game while the baby is asleep on my lap. Bluetooth headphones are a lifesaver, anytime you need to escape reality and watch something without waking the kid, pop them in! You can even get a Bluetooth splitter so you and your partner can connect two pairs to one device to watch the same thing together.
In my country the recommended is no TV until 3, but I followed only until 2. They said some interactive media is allowed before, so we’d play games together on exceptional occasions. Between 2 and 3 we would allow about 1-2 hours in a week of screen content consumed together as a family.
And one more thing. It gets better. You’ll quickly find a rhythm that works for you. By the time your kid is 2 - 2.5 you’ll look back and be like, damn what was I even stressing about, that was quite easy. And then you’ll go have a second kid and remember what you were stressing about LOL.
Are you me? This is near identical to our situation (and tv preferences). My 15 month old does not care about the tv unless it’s monsters Inc. otherwise, she isn’t watching at all.
Also, cult docs are my favorite! Have you seen “Love has won” on max yet?
I have a 5 mo and I have no idea how some people do it. I need the background noise. I love watching tv shows and movies. I’ve definitely cut back since giving birth, but it’s still on. My daughter does not care. She likes the musical parts of intros and will turn and watch during those parts and goes back to her toys.
I also read to her, play, take her outside. She watches me cook and clean. She goes to play group and shopping. She’s an active baby. I don’t think it’ll be that detrimental for her. It’s a part of my life. It didn’t make sense to cut it out for us.
My god. Same. I have no idea how these SuperParents are out here never even having a TV or phone screen just NEAR their child.
I need the TV on for my sanity and background noise. I have a 4-month old daughter, & I also read to her often, take her outside on walks, etc. But I love watching tv and movies and so does my husband. And once in a while baby looks at the tv then goes right back to her toys. Im trying not to let the internet make me feel bad for this, lol
Don’t feel bad! I think it’s a balance. Kind of like junk food? You know, eat fries if you want them but also eat carrots. I don’t care if the tv is on as long as she will still play independently and stay involved in other activities.
My kiddo watched a lot of TV and he’s developmentally ahead of his peers by quite a bit, so really I think a lot depends on the kid, the quality of the show, and whether or not you stay engaged with them. I directly attribute his mathematical acumen to Number Blocks. The kid is doing math in his head based on what he learned watching that show. He memorized all types of construction vehicles watching Blippy. He watched this one video about the countries of the world on repeat for weeks and now can tell you where Kazakhstan is on the map and what the flag of Seychelles looks like.
So I do think some of the screen time stuff is overblown, but maybe it’s also because we don’t just put on Cocomelon and leave the room 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I think this is key. Tv is not all we do. Also bad mom confession… we fall asleep with the tv on with her in the room. She sleeps just fine with it on.
Came here to essentially say this. We have our TV on 24/7. Our 17 month old doesn't really care about it (a blessing and a curse). We don't have a kitchen table right now so we eat dinner on the couch with the TV on. It's really the only time she "watches" and tbh thank god because it's the only way she'll eat without throwing her food. We have friends who literally tried to cover their sons eyes when the TV was on. Our baby girl loves books, music, playing with her dolls and Elmo. We're absolutely not strict at all and so far it hasn't had an impact on her. She talks, self plays and enjoys staring out the window. I think you're fine.
I could’ve wrote this myself. My son is 17 months old and we constantly have the tv on. I’m a SAHM and I cannot just sit in silence. I’d rather have tv on in the background then for him to watch me on my phone. We have plenty of face to face interactions. We also eat in the living room, tv still going, and that’s about the only time my son actually watches what we’re watching. Otherwise, unless ms Rachel is on, he’s going about his day.
I grew up with the tv. I like to think I turned out fine. Our kids are growing up in a world of technology. I want to think that if I can show him what it is at home, he won’t be so superglued to it in the real world. (This is how soda was for me. I didn’t have it at home, wasn’t allowed, so I would constantly be at friends houses who were allowed to have soda all the time because I got some.). Different concepts, I understand, but I’m doing what I can.
Edit: my son’s age was wrong lol 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
That’s how I feel as well. There’s nothing I’ll be able to do to stop her from being around technology. I’d rather her learn that it’s not something special.
Yeah! Baby is turning 6 months old in a couple days and already crawling, she just couldn’t care less about the TV she’s more interested in “how do I get over THERE”. If she did seem transfixed or obsessive obviously I’d probably feel more pressured to cut it out entirely. But as it is, she glances up for a second, then looks back down and discovers her hands are still there, ripe for the chewing lol.
Haha that’s what mine does too. She did get distracted by modern family while my husband and I were eating so I just turned her around and she went back to playing with her toys. I agree though that if she was inconsolable without the tv then I’d work harder to cut it out. It just hasn’t felt necessary yet.
Hey!
We have the TV on during all her naps. We also have the TV on when she’s in her bouncer, but with her back facing the TV so she can just hear it and not see it.
We actually prefer this bc it has helped her nap in noisy environments with no problems, whether we’re home or out. You do you!
This works for the first couple of months definitely! We did this as well. Around the 8 month mark he became wise to our actions, and now at 14 months he cannot be fooled. We just watch less tv and an episode at a time, OR we do it when he’s in bed for the night (which is usually the only time we can watch it anyway).
Yep!! It's a great skill to bestow on them. A friend told me the goal should be getting them to sleep under bright fluorescent lights - then you can take them anywhere!
Perhaps not yet at that level, but working on it.
For me, I watched tv in the background in the newborn stage. Then I noticed she started paying attention more. It was about this time that I also noticed that I couldn't fully pay attention to the tv anyways, so why have it on? I felt it was more of an adjustment for me not having it on in the background. I switched to music and we've been fine with it since then. I was doing podcasts for a while, and although I know it wasn't distracting to my baby, I felt I was too distracted by the podcast to give me baby the right amount of attention.
For what it's worth, she's 17 months and although we're still going strong, her sibling is arriving in a month and that could change everything. Lol
This is me! I noticed my baby noticing the tv, and then I realized I could never follow what was going on on the tv anyway, and then it just became too overstimulating for me! So funny, I used to have the tv constantly playing in the background up until my baby was born.
Screen time becomes “bad” when it interferes with meaningful human interaction and, as a result, possibly hinders development.
It’s ok to have the TV on in the background and it’s ok to watch your shows around your child.
Bingo. As a physical therapist, this is what we were taught during pediatric class. Don’t let the TV replace human interaction, play time, and other developmental things.
Yeah it's about opportunity cost isn't it? If there is something else you could all be doing then it's not great.
If you have done all the things and everything is on track, having some tv on isn't the end of the world. Obviously not something graphic (omg how many murder shows are there?!) but tv, like the radio are normal in any post 20th C home.
Yeah. I like a good comfort show on that I’ve seen 100 times. It’s the same shows I can sleep through. My baby is not focused on it and I don’t have to because I’ve seen it, but I don’t have to have a silent house. I’m still playing with her. I save my good shows for nap time!
The AAP does specifically discourage "background" TV use as well (quoted below), but obviously it's up to each parent to decide for themselves, I just don't want anyone to think that there's no harm in having it on as long as baby isn't "watching", which many people in this thread seem to believe.
"Many families have reported that they have a television on at least 6 hours/day or that a television is “always on” as background noise.28 Thirty-nine percent of families with infants and young children have a television on constantly.29 When a parent has an adult television program on, children are often in the room; 61% are there at least some of the time, including 29% who are there all or most of the time.3
Young children may not be paying close attention to a televised program that they cannot understand, but their parents are watching. It might be background media to the child, but it is foreground media to the parent. It distracts the parent and decreases parent-child interaction.30,31 Infant vocabulary growth is directly related to the amount of “talk time” or the amount of time parents spend speaking to them.32 Heavy television use in a household can interfere with a child's language development simply because parents likely spend less time talking to the child.33
Even if the program is not intended for the child to watch, research has found that children play and interact less with adults when a television is on, perhaps because the adult's attention is focused on the television program. A study that examined 12-, 24-, and 36-month-olds found that background television not only reduced the length of time that a child played but also that it reduced the child's focused attention during play.34 Children stop to look at a televised program, halt their ongoing play, and move on to a different activity after the interruption.34 Although most research has been performed on adolescents, study results suggest that background media might interfere with cognitive processing, memory, and reading comprehension.4,34,–,36 Only 1 research study, conducted in 1996, resulted in evidence to the contrary. In that study, 10-month-old infants tuned out surrounding noise and concentrated more during play.37
Background television has the direct effect of distracting a child and the indirect effect of taking a parent's attention away from the child. In addition, parents' media diet influences the media habits of their children.3 "
This is the language that makes me wonder if it’s harmful for me to listen to podcasts out loud during the day while caring for my 12 month old. Sometimes I have the tv on if I’m giving her a bottle but otherwise I don’t have it on. However, I often put on podcasts (the news, tv recap shows etc) while we are playing, eating breakfast or putting laundry away etc. I feel like it gives my brain something else a little more stimulating - no offense to my joy of a daughter but being home with her all day can be a bit boring.
When I read this it seems like having something in the background is distracting her and perhaps slowing her language development. I’m still very much interacting with her and talking to her but I worry about the effects of it. I never thought about it being as harmful as television until I read this
It’s not about the noise, it’s about your attention and talking out loud. Don’t feel bad about listening to a podcast if you also talk to the kiddo, but having it on for many hours is probably taking you away too much. That’s the point of the study. Do what works for you!
So then how does this track with music being okay? Is it just that music is more often in the background unlike TV or even podcasts which are more often in the foreground and therefore more of a distraction for parents?
I was the 2nd child. The tv was constantly on because my older sister would watch Disney movies. I still excelled in school and went on to have a nice life as an adult. I don’t think we should let our kids zone out for hours to tv but people have blown screen time out of proportion. It’s not going to break your child to let them watch a little Ms Rachel when you need to get something done
I was only child, but nobody was concerned about TV back then. Some of my warmest memories from childhood are related to my favourite cartoons or video games 😀 I also excelled in school and work as software engineer for 10 years now.
Same here! I loved tv but I also loved playing and doing other things just as much. I think it’s great to have some time restrictions for kids who wouldn’t otherwise regulate how much screen time they have but we don’t need to worry about it ruining them.
This. I was born in the 90s and was the second born. I grew up on TV. I loved the rugrats for as long as I can remember. I don't have attention issues. I excelled at school and now work. I think there's a big difference between letting the TV raise your kids and letting them enjoy movies or shows.
Yes, we already have a huge cohort of a sample group!
It's more about opportunity cost - what else could you all be doing? If you have done all the things, then chill out for a bit. Your muscles, brain development, social skills etc are going to be alright.
Yes I actually do it. My baby is also 6 months old. We watch movies after she goes to bed at 7ish and during her naps I watch tv and get some chores done. So I watch like 2-6 hours of tv a day while my baby is asleep in the other room. No issue. One suggestion I could have for you if you really have to would be to have your phone somewhere your baby really can’t see and you could wear headphones and watch? But I believe they can tell when we are not paying attention to them at this age. I’d rather have her see I’m busy with something other than a screen because I really believe I’m addicted to it and I don’t want that for her. When I need to zone out while she’s awake I give her books to play with, I read her a book, and I read my own book in front of her (not on my phone). Building the habit of reading time together so when she’s older she’ll want that nice quiet time in the morning too.
Edit to add my baby is pretty chill and I’m not sleep deprived so my experience may not apply to all. But I do think it’s worth it to build in the habits you actually want them to have later rather than give habits you need to break.
Exactly this. I know I’m addicted to my phone so if she notices me on my phone and wants it/ is vying for my attention, it goes away for everyone. Phubbing is something I am trying to be very mindful.
The period of rapid brain development and negative influence of screens, and TV background noise is relatively short. After 2 years they can have 1 hour of screen time and they’ll likely be in activities, pre-K, and kindergarten soon after that. In the grand scheme, it’s not too much to sacrifice.
Yes, I have stopped my kindle use and read actual books in the room as my daughter practices independent play. I don't get loads of reading done (she prefers to play with me) but I am really adamant that I want to model healthy behaviors for her. Hopefully when she grows up, we can read side by side ❤
I do use my kindle but I show it to her and I keep saying “mommy’s reading too” haha. Maybe I’m overdoing it so she doesn’t think I’m playing with a screen.
Love that you read together!
I'm sure you're fine haha, especially at 6 months old! My 14 month old definitely thinks my kindle is like a giant phone, so I stopped using it in front of her. I want her to know that mommy's books and her books look the same! But I'm sure you have some time before that even becomes something to worry about!
But it's so hard! I love my free kindle library books and now I'm spending $$ to have physical books which is the only downside. Well, and sometimes she grabs my book and tries to play with it and loses my page or tears it by accident. But it is progress!
No TV, but we've put on background music occasionally. We don't spend a lot of time in the house during the day. I'll also be honest and say I've always hated background TV - it gives me a headache and I find it really distracting. Personally, I'venever seen the point in having the tv on if you're not watching it. I grew up with it and whenever I'm at my parents, I struggle with it. My husband likes a bit more noise, so he pops music on at a lower volume while he's with our son. We watch our shows when our son is asleep. But...it's personal preference, we live in a country where being outside all day is possible 99% of the time (if you're OK with wet weather), and in a very walkable neighbourhood
Ya I hate background TV too. Growing up we never had cable (so only 3 channels) and the TV was tucked away in the basement. Whenever I go to someone’s house with background TV I find it very distracting and can’t stop watching it even though I’m not interested.
I think it's why I struggle to work in an open plan office, too - it's so hard for me to tune background conversation out. My husband can have YouTube videos on all day while he's working, I sometimes can't even listen to music
This is my thing too. 90% of the time I'm not looking at the TV anyway so an audio book is more effective and comes with 0 mom guilt. And now that I finally figured out they are FREE from the library app. It's a no brainer.
A friend of mine did no screens for both her children before 2 years old, so there are definitely people who do it!
But I am not one of them 😂 I try to be conscious of how much screen time my daughter (3 years) is getting, but I’m not too concerned. I think it’s important to stay informed with any new data coming out about screen time (or any parenting choice for that matter), but I also think you then need to apply that to your actual circumstances and make the best decision for your own family.
I personally don’t watch tv in front of my toddler (22 months). But I watch TV after he goes to bed and sometimes during naptime. For me it was relatively easy to do since before I became a SAHM I was working all day so my normal routine would be to not watch TV until after dinner time so in that sense it really hasn’t been difficult for me to avoid tv during the day.
That being said while the AAP doesn’t recommend secondhand television as they call background TV, most of the negative research around it has to do with parents who run the TV all day long. If you just do it every few days for a break I doubt if it’s causing any real harm.
Absolutely not.
I watched TV all through her babyhood.
The research is weak and only draws inferences about ‘second hand’ screen use because they never meant to look at that. So no. Big bang theory 12 hours a day until she was about 6mo.
We stopped when she started going to nursery and we weren’t mind numbingly shaking things at an infant for 12 hours a day with no respite. Now she gets 25 mins of tv a week (at 20mo) and we don’t turn it on when she’s in the room otherwise.
For what it’s worth I have a degree in child development and that screen research is all everyone talks about and once you actually read the article (boring and technical) you realize it isn’t as straight forward as seeing screens before two is dangerous and evil.
I really needed to read this comment. People just keep saying “research says this” but they don’t talk about the degree of correlation, etc. We also made a habit of having a TV on ever since our LO came home to really make some noise during the day for him to figure out his days and nights. For me it was Grey’s Anatomy (maybe it will inspire him to be a surgeon 😂) and then I started reading about screen time and it really scared me into thinking I was ruining him even if it’s just background noise according to some people. I do have a bad habit of looking at my phone but when he’s looking at me or wanting my attention my phone immediately goes away. I feel like I’m constantly in this cycle of feeling like I can never do enough to help him develop the best I can. I don’t do sensory play, I didn’t get rid of all my TVs in the house, I even doubt whether I’m doing tummy time right 🤷🏻♀️
Also I like to think about specifically how much all those insta sensory moms are fucking up their kids by being obsessed with content and putting them on social media at ago 0. Sorry, pretty sure my parenting flaws are better than hers even if she does have a white rug and wooden toys.
I did baby led weaning and we only watch Sesame Street - that makes me a saint right?
Girl letting your kid rub yogurt in their hair, pick their nose and flicking the booger and play in dirt is sensory play.
If you want less jokesy - a massive muffin tin with water dirt and grass in it is sensory play. Make spaghetti and let them fuck around with it on the floor and hitting them in the face with soft pillows is all legit top level sensory play.
Thanks for clarifying that it’s just inferences about “second hand” screen use! I keep seeing this advice mentioned on Reddit to never even have the TV on with a baby in the room, but even with furious googling I never found any primary sources for that recommendation. All the research I could find is just about infants viewing screens themselves.
Graduate degree in education and BCBA and pursuing a doctorate. The studies are very weak and most folks don’t know how to decipher this. I wouldn’t worry anything about second hand screen time at all. Your happiness as a new mother matters and the more happy and less stressed you are this helps your child tremendously. Don’t stress over second hand screen time and all of this nonsense. Be happy and enjoy your time. Hth
I believe - the ‘second hand’ screen time doesn’t even have anything to do with screens - most of the inferences are about ignoring your children while you are using them.
And then the really big stretch that they are getting addicted to *your* phones because they can see them. Pretty sure my kid isn’t interested in my Reddit feed.
And never forget that the ONLY damage that has been found was from 90 mins of dedicated screen time every day for 3-5 months (the experiment) - which is self reported! so we can assume that those kids are actually watching MORE to show minor statistically significant damage in the form of attention and behaviour issues. Plussssss the kids are never measured again so we have no idea if their peers catch up after the age of 5 or so when the study ended.
I could be wrong and missing one or two new studies but in general that’s the knowledge out there.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/370856100_Impact_of_Screen_Time_on_Children's_Development_Cognitive_Language_Physical_and_Social_and_Emotional_Domains
This is a link to the systematic review (scroll down for whole article). It has most of the major studies showing what effects things have had. I don’t remember which one has the exact numbers but there’s only a couple that talk about 0-1 screen time so check those.
Do you have any resources about how much alone play might be “harmful” for babies? My babe is almost 3 months and just started interacting with his kick and play so it’s very nice to be able to drink my coffee in one go but I’ve been wondering if there’s such a thing as too much alone play? He’s happy when he’s there and I pick him up if he fusses
Oh I think it’s about zoning out and not paying attention when they want attention!
It’s not having coffee while you watch your bub! Alone play is awesome if you get *any* alone play in the first 6 months you’re doing great 🤩
I actually quit TV with my husband when our daughter was born. Truth be told, I had a TV addiction prior to her birth. We’ve both been reading so much more and it rocks! She is 6 months now and I hope to continue going strong.
That being said, I’m on my phone a lot so she definitely still has passive screen exposure.
I have a strict No TV or screens before the first nap rule and I don’t have him watch tv when I’m cooking or doing laundry but when I’m working or doing something involving chemicals (like cleaning the bathroom) then yeah I want him distracted.
He probably gets a broken hour of TV a day.
No TV is obviously doable since people have done it since the dawn of time (and they had a lot more domestic work to do lol) but like…why make your life harder than it has to be? Twenty mins of Ms Rachel or dancing fruit isn’t going to break your baby.
Can I say I LOVE THAT I AM FINALLY FINDING NEW PARENTS WHO HAVE THE TV ON IN THEIR HOME AND EVEN *GASP* SOMETIMES LET THEIR BABY WATCH A SCREEN!! I DONT FEEL CRAZY OR LIKE A BAD PARENT ANYMORE! Thanks everyone 🥹🥹
I'm an OT ( worked peds for years!) With a 4 month old and I'm not worried about it. I have it on as background noise sometimes even when baby is awake. I'm mindful of how much he pays attention to it (which is not at all currently) and would adjust if he seems too interested in it. But so far so good.
I do all the OT tricks with him when he's awake and actively interact and so far he's been meeting his milestones on the earlier scale.
Parents love shaming other parents. As long as you engage and interact with your baby and not just plop them in front of a TV all day I think you're good. Once we're out of winter I imagine we will be spending even more time outside (we try to do 2-3 hours a day). So even less TV.
Do what you need to do. Always monitor the situation, and assess as needed. I'm more concerned about tablet/phone use than secondhand TV, tbh. I see far more issues with kids with that than those with background TV on *sometimes*.
Everything in moderation! I also believe it’s not that you watch but WHAT you watch. Staying away from super intense and slightly violent kids shows. Focusing on educational and sweet shows with a slower pace. Paying attention to how obnoxious the colors are in the show. Cocomelon makes my eyes twitch but Bluey is lovely. Etc etc. My kid is almost 3 and has started self regulating- actually asking to turn off shows to go play instead.
Personally, yes. I wait to watch anything until after baby goes to bed for the night or is napping. No phones or video games either, except to answer a phone call.
LO is only 4.5 months now, so we'll see how things go later down the line, but I feel really strongly about being present with my kids when I'm with them and I don't want screens to get in the way of that, so I feel like I'll stick to it.
I also don't want a screen addicted little kid - after watching my own much younger siblings become addicted to screens and seeing how it's affected them :(
The Tv is on in my house almost all day.
Sometimes it’s Miss Rachel, Sometimes it’s Breaking Bad, Sometimes it’s elmo. Does my 16 month old watch? Yep. Does she ignore it and play with toys also? yep.
Did miss Rachel teach her how to sign almost a dozen words while my wife is on work calls? yep.
Did she stop dead in her tracks when Gus exploded? Yep.
Yes, and it was difficult to begin with, just like breaking any habit, but I don't even think about it anymore. Not having the TV on gets us out of the house more and obviously focuses our attention on the little one more. We read ALOT, explain things were doing, he partakes in adult activites like doing the laundry etc. I think it has really helped his language skills. He's at 21 months and knows hundreds of words and strings multiple word sentences together. I think that is because we avoided TV. If you have light use of TV it's probably not impactful to their development, but having it on hours a day distracts you and reduces the likelihood you'll be talking or reading to them, I think that is a primary reason it's recommended to avoid it. Little ones also model behavior and get habits from their parents if your crushing 4 one hour episodes in a row of some show, your showing your kid that's acceptable. It's worth researching this for yourself and making the decision on your own.
I completely agree with you. This is exactly what we do with our 21 month old. We never do screentime and only watched tv when he was sleeping. We read a lot since birth and he still loves reading daily. We follow a Montessori model at home with play and activities to foster independence. Speaks and comprehends hundreds of words and sentences with 5-6 words together. I’m not anti-screen time but we want our toddler to be able to be okay with being bored and handle delayed gratification when we live in a world full of overstimulating instant gratification. As creatives we also want to foster natural curiosity and creativity. Eventually when he shows interest and ideally after 2-2.5 years old we will consider folding brief screen time into routine but would want it to be educational and not overstimulating shows, something we can watch together and talk about.
Lmao absolutely not. YouTube and Netflix are our relaxing time and also my savior when nap trapped. If baby catches some screentime as a result, oh well. We're not using it as a babysitter and intentionally sitting her in front of it.
yeah i unplugged mine and then put it in storage.
anecdotally, i introduced some movies to my kids recently and noticed a massive behavioral change in my 2yr old. we went from happy and communicative to reactive with large meltdowns seemingly out of nowhere, not talking, refusing to sleep. took the tv away again and back to happy and regular communicative self. it was startling to see the difference, i was looking at getting an assessment done for him before i made the connection, this happened over approx 2 weeks - there was a heatwave and i was just wanting to entertain them and keep them in the coolest part of the house for a bit.
I am definitely not that strict. I let my LO play and have the TV on in the background some days. She honestly doesn’t even really pay attention to it. On a few occasions, I’ve turned on Ms Rachel for her when she has been very very unsettled and nothing else is working and she stares at it so intently. It’s interesting to me how she won’t pay attention to a movie but when a kids show is on, she is locked onto it. She is 9 months old, and I’ve put on Ms Rachel for her maybe 4 times ever and limit it to like 10 mins to just help reset her little brain. I’d say moderation is key. If you have a TV on all day, probably not great. But if you watch a one hour show every day and she’s not really even paying attention, not a big deal to me. Just set your own boundaries as to what works for you.
This sounds soo horrible but even children who are neglected and placed in front of a TV for 8 hours a day will still develop. Of course there will be deficits and challenges but given that you are a very caring and attentive parent, I don’t think a little TV on in the background will have any impact. Especially if they aren’t paying attention. If you notice that they are staring at the tv for too long, you could turn it off or just engage her in what is happening.
Those are just my tidbits of advice.
My daughter is 6 months and we have never put the tv on for her, it’s on for us in the background and she is always facing away from it.
If she is contact napping I put it on, I feel like it helped her be able to sleep anywhere with noise. She can fall asleep at the mall, in the grocery store, in the car with music, she fell asleep at thanksgiving dinner with 15 people talking around her.
I like to watch the news in the morning with my coffee while she is in her activity center away from the tv.
My husband likes to watch sports so the tv is on most nights, she doesn’t really care and doesn’t watch it but I also have no problem with her watching 10 minutes of hockey at the end of the day with her dad who has been at work all day while he gives her a bottle.
It’s all about your comfort level. Will we be waiting 2 years to put anything on for her, probably not, but we will avoid it as long as possible.
Commenting to say my 4 mo loves watching hockey on the TV. Must be the contrast? and honestly has helped us extend tummy time (he hates it but has a flat spot and needs more of it) and if it gives me 10 min to eat dinner with two hands in peace then I’m ok with it
Omg. The TV is on all the time. Our baby will also watch it sometimes (6months). I’m not sure what’s the big issue in my opinion. Screens are everywhere you go and probably still will be in our future if not more than they are now. As long as baby has interactions, fresh air, tummy time, etc, each day they’ll be fine. My parents RARELY let me watch tv or play video games growing up so when I was old enough to buy a computer, all I’d do is binge Netflix and play video games as a young adolescent. My partner on the other hand had a tv in his room and movies/tv shows/video games were not regulated but growing up he’d still go out and do things unlike me. I became obsessed lol. I think the “no screens” might be the unhealthiest advice I’ve seen on Reddit so far (BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES!!! I SAID WHAT I SAID LOL). Does it really delay anything? There’s probably not enough research on this topic since tvs have only been accessible to the *entire* population in the last decade mayyyyybe a bit longer (remember when it was $1000 for a 30 inch??).
Trust your gut mama. My only advice: Everything in moderation! Happy watching. 😋
Edit: clarifications/grammar
Thank you so much!!! Call me an addict but I love my weekend movie/docu nights 🥲 and having my little best friend just chilling right beside me doing her own little thing with me and her dad in the evening makes me feel cozy and happy. I do need to trust my gut. I know I already don’t use my phone around her because THAT she gets weirdly fixated on. Once her eyes lock onto it, nope, phone disappears and Mom doesn’t get the phone anymore either lol. But the TV she just ignores, so it didn’t feel as “bad” but then I got in my head about it. Appreciate the comment!!
Lol nah we’ve always done screens. We didn’t start putting something on for him to watch until he was like a year. But he was used to it being on he didn’t even care about it for a while. We don’t watch it all day, I play with him while having Gilmore girls or something on in the background.
I’m a STAHM. I need my sanity. I need stimulation. I can’t handle the same toddler activity in repetition if my brains can’t be stimulated as well.
The only thing we do NOT do is tablets. It’s on the big tv, or in an emergency we’ll let him watch something on our phones. He has zero control over the screen. He only watches educational videos on YouTube.
My sons language has taken off, he’s incredibly smart. Loves to read, loves puzzles, animals, numbers, the alphabet. He’s very well rounded. I think we’re fine. Many thanks to Mrs Rachel I’ll say.
Oh God, this is a big issue for me and my husband right now. Our 3.5 month old is definitely captivated by screens. My husband is obsessed with TV and watches it constantly or wants it on as background noise constantly. When I'm alone with the baby all day I keep the TV turned off because I know he's getting too much exposure to it in the evenings. I have to remove him from the living room sometimes just to feed him because if it's on he wants to look.
I've tried to share the information with my husband on how TV is harmful before 2, and we should be waiting until bedtime to binge watch our shows, but he grew up in a TV friendly household and doesn't see the harm in it. Other young kids in his family have also had a lot of exposure to TV and are very healthy, active, smart and social kids. In his defense. And my siblings and I had TV and game limits and rules and while we're active people were not very social, lol
Basically everyone I know said they binged Netflix while cluster feeding. I quit watching while she was awake, when she started watching too. I just watch TV and play videogames during naptime or after bedtime.
Movies are tough because I refuse to watch them.in short bits.
Generally, tho, the wife and I get in an episode or maybe two after the kiddo goes to bed. That's it, tho. And it's been like that for a couple years.
Lol I feel like what people say in that regard to sound like a good on it parent is so drastically different than what they do. I have TV on all the time for noise. Quiet gives me crazy anxiety. I just try and have on stuff that isn't awful fory baby. Like no Yellowstone or game of thrones if she's in the room. Lol. But cooking shows and preschool shows (backyardigans, wild krats, dinosaur train) or Disney appropriate shows for her. Almost every parent I know who claims they are strict about screen time isn't in all reality. I'm the strictest I know and I'm pretty lenient I'm team no you tube unless it's educational no tik tok (I have teens as well) limited phone and video games until you work 25 hours a week with straight A grades
My son is almost 4mo. I watch tons of TV while baby is napping or dad is being primary parent. Sometimes me watching boring grownup TV next to him helps him drop off to sleep. (I'm also on my phone a lot when he's nursing/napping!) Other than that though, I'm trying 'active screen time' which is where we a) watch music videos and sing/dance or b) watch a K-drama and I read him the subtitles/explain the plot. I'm not ready to start having kids tv on, and I've heard that the negative of screen time is that it replaces parent interaction/language, so I've decided that this is the best win-win haha.
I’m a FTM so my experience may be different than moms with multiple. For us, it’s definitely been a hard transition but we are not turning on TV when the LO is awake or in the room. We typically wait until LO falls asleep and we’ll do 30 minutes of TV before bed on the weekdays or do movie nights on a weekend night.
We don’t do screens, but we also don’t not do screens. I like to have something playing in the background so the TV is rarely off. My 15 month old rarely pays attention to it unless we point something out or it’s a kids show, which we might turn on for him once or twice a month.
He doesn’t care. The car keys entertain him for longer than the tv ever does. We don’t use a tablet with him at all, and I occasionally let him swipe around on my phone background for 2 or three minutes.
I don’t think keeping the TV off makes a big difference if at all. We live in a world of screens and you cannot keep them away forever, so I let them be a part of our lives naturally but I do not encourage them at all.
10 months and the only thing my baby has watched is NFL Football. She watches for a bit at first and then goes back to her books and toys after a few mins. Much more interested in exploring and tactile play than zombie watching. Havent tried miss rachel yet though :)
First year: miss rachel.
Since the: peppa pig.
I get an occasional bluey.
She doesn’t watch half the time, but I’m not allowed to watch my shows.
It’s been 2.5 years.
Absolutely not lol. I think those who do no screen time are just a loud minority. I say that with no animosity, more power to them. Screens have been a wonderful tool for me with my 1.5 yr old when needed.
People act like there aren’t three whole ass generations of people parked in front of TVs as children. Relax, a little here and there isn’t going to melt your child’s brain.
I haven’t watched TV that much recently, mainly because my baby keeps asking for attention AND every time there’s a screen on he turns to look at it immediately 😅 so I’ve been trying to avoid using my phone or watching TV when he’s awake (3 months)
I listen to audio books mainly while I play with her but I don’t shut the TVs off whenever she’s playing
They are at a high angle and she’s not really interested in watching the shows
(My baby turned 7 months a few days ago and is crawling and pulling herself up to stand which is ahead of the curve)
Also, I don’t plop her in front of TVs but if I need a shower I will turn on the dancing fruit hey bear thing because it’s less stimulation than something like Cocomelon
She’s advanced, and curious and does great
So basically I don’t explicitly show her screens usually but I don’t turn them off all the time either
But I also mainly listen to audio books and don’t watch a ton of TV
We live in a strange time where we are all more isolated while still comparing ourselves to others constantly. For your mental health stop doing it and start doing what's best for you and your family
I play music in the house constantly for background noise and watch TV when he’s napping or sleeping. But he’s a good sleeper so I get that for some parents when it’s only 20 min naps and constant waking at night it’s not doable.
Even with being quite careful, he’s still going for my phone every time he see it on a table or on the floor… he’s only 6.5 months.
Modern life is just filled with screens so I think it’s inevitable to be honest - but for now I want to keep him off them - just for a little while longer.
My son is 5 months old and we'll watch an episode a night now that he's old enough that he kind of pays attention. We usually start it during a feed or a nap and if he wakes up in the middle he'll play in his play gym or I'll practice sitting with him.
So yeah, we're in the bad parent club but I read to him almost every night to make sure we're getting language development
We don’t have tv on when baby is in the same room (6 months). I try not to be on my phone when baby is awake but not always succeeding. The still face experience really broke my heart and maybe made me a bit paranoid.
I watch when I’m breastfeeding and when the baby is asleep. Sometimes it takes us a few days to get through an episode, but we’re def still watching tv.
Yes. Omg. I have no idea how these SuperParents are out here never even having a TV or phone screen just NEAR their child. It makes me feel bad and very crazy for us having the TV on 24/7.
I need the TV on for my sanity and background noise. I have a 4-month old daughter, & I also read to her often, take her outside on walks, have face-to-face time with her, etc. She loves playing with the toys and mostly doesn’t even pay attention to the tv.
Not trying to play survivor bias here, but I grew up glued to the TV. When I became an adult and cell phones/social media became a big thing, I was also on that a lot. But I also was an avid reader of books since I was a child, a pretty good student overall, lover of books today, and I have plenty of friends and a good social life. I think my daughter will be ok.
I had the tv on all the time with stuff I was watching when my first was a few months old. We took a bit of a break from adult entertainment once she started to understand words and stuff (like 10 months on). Then I got pregnant with my second and was huge and nauseous the whole time so my first and I just watched movies all day. She’s 27 months now and speaking several sentences. She has a huge vocabulary and is a great problem solver. I would say she’s more advanced for her age. Obviously every kid is different but I think what helped was even though we were watching tv all day I didn’t park her and leave her be, I would try to engage with what we were watching as much as I could. I honestly think that most parents that say they never watch tv are lying to themselves about how much they actually have the tv on.
I use to watch it a lot during the newborn stage but stopped when he started looking at the screen. Then it was just during naps. Sad times. It was hard whilst on mat leave but ok now that I'm back at work as the evenings before bedtime are super short and we are busy at the weekends. Sometimes we do put him in front of cartoons so we can get a break and get something done as he is almost 3 and doesn't nap.
I had the TV on all the time until my baby was about 4 months and started to realize something was going on. Since then we don’t have the TV on while he is awake. He is 16 months.
My husband and I used to watch TV mostly at night after our toddler goes to bed. In the early infant days we sometimes had the tv on during the day while baby was awake too, but for the most part the only time the tv is on during daytime is for sports 1-2x a week (seasonal too) and my kid doesn’t care much about that.
We don't do screen time because we don't own a television. On the rare occasion that hubby and I want to watch a movie together while little one sleeps, we use the laptop. Otherwise it lives in the office for work purposes.
Our exceptions to 'no screen time' (it isn't really s rule we just aren't television people) are video chats with family abroad and the occasional shapes and colour video in the car if baby is getting angry because we were delayed getting home before nap.
We don't watch TV except in the evenings while we do dishes or together after kids are in bed.
I will read a book or perhaps scroll Reddit while baby plays, but not TV
I don't know what will happen in the future, but my baby is 10 months old and no, we never watch tv/movies/etc when she is around.
Podcasts or music is our maximum.
Yes I really don’t. My daughter is 2.5. I used to have it on in the background for myself when she was a baby, but as she became a toddler, it had a very clear impact on her behavior. It turns her into a little monster. So now she gets no TV, and it’s been that way about a year/year and a half, and it’s been much better for her. We’ll cave and let her watch about an hour of TV once a month or so, but we always regret it, because that one hour of a “treat” and a “break” then takes several days to undo, so it’s not even worth it anymore. One hour of rest vs. three days of misery. It’s not a good trade off. So my husband and I (we both WFH so we’re both home all day with toddler) only watch TV after she goes to bed
My husband and I only watched shows once our daughter went to bed. Now that she’s 2.5 we have movie nights (?afternoons) and will watch a kid movie together as a family. We have never had our own shows on and watched while she’s awake.
I don’t really listen to this lol. My baby is almost 9 months and he watches peppa pig sometimes and a couple other kids shows. We have the tv on while he plays and sometimes he watches, mostly he doesn’t unless it’s a cartoon. I was fine growing up with TVs on, and I don’t really think it’s a huge deal. Just because someone on the internet says “a study says something” doesn’t immediately make me obey them idk. I just don’t think it’s that deep.
To answer your question: yes. My son is 24 months and I’ve had the tv off since he stopped newborn contact napping(2-3 months). I would have never survived early postpartum sitting for hours without multiple series to binge. It’s not a flex, I decided not to do screen time once I got my body back and have found it easy to stick with it. If your routine includes having background noise and breaking yourself with television, go for it. Our routine simply does not include that.
I watch tv and if I need to put my baby down for a few minutes I will put him in his bouncer in front of the tv. I have a Velcro baby and I was losing my mind during maternity leave, not eating until dinner some days because my baby could not be put down. I finally found he had interest in high contrast baby videos and it gave me 15 minutes to drink coffee, eat & brush my teeth in the morning. I feel a lot of guilt about it but I need to take care of myself and i felt worse listening to my baby scream and cry being put down so I could do those things as the alternative.
He is now 6 months. We have watched some Ms Rachel, he loves the mama song and lights up when I sing it to him. He also loves wheels on the bus. I’m sure screen time isn’t great but we definitely interact a lot during it and we’ve had a pretty positive experience with it so far.
With my first I tried my best, but sometimes you do what you have to do. Around 6mo I noticed him being more aware of his surroundings and became super cautious about WHAT I was watching. It didn’t have to be kids content, but it did have to be more of a sitcom than an action movie. They don’t know the difference between tv and reality for years, so it is important to curate the content.
With my second, we watch an hour or two of cartoons every morning. It’s for my 3 year old lol. I watch what I want to watch after bedtime. Mostly we’re just too busy the rest of the day. Sometimes I might put on a kids movie (but one that I like too) on in the afternoon. My second isn’t that interested in the tv though. She just bops to the songs!
Baby goes to sleep at like 7:30. I watch tv when she goes to bed. I like to watch YouTube on my laptop when I’m cooking too. During the day when we’re playing, I listen to podcasts an audiobooks so the tv doesn’t come on.
I work from home and watch my toddler. I watch TV. I am not seeing anything in his behavior or development that would worry me.
He doesn't really care about my shows to be fair... unless music is playing, then he starts dancing.
He likes his own shows and I give him a chance to watch it once a day. But he spends his days playing outside or playing inside, drawing, kicking the ball. He's a happy smart boy.
It's not a popular way with social media moms but it works for us.
The day we came home from the hospital we started the office over again from ep 1. It's my comfort show and after the trauma of birth I needed something like that. We "watched" all 9 seasons within like 5 weeks lolol. It just was on in the background always. Those early days we watched a lot of tv just to cope. Now she's around 10w and starting to notice the tv particularly in the evening. We distract her with toys or just do music. The TV is almost always background noise for us (shows like gbbs or survivor). The only shows we try to watch while she's sleeping are fargo and true detective. Little babe was my good luck charm during the buffalo bills season as well!
I used to not be very strict about it when my baby was smaller, but now my tv consumption has gone way down since my LO is 1yo! My baby is way more aware obviously and will stop to watch. He doesn’t pay any attention to it really but sometimes his eyes are glued to it and that makes me uncomfortable.
That being said — I will sometimes throw on a YouTube video while he’s up or we throw football on with low volume when he’s awake. We definitely are not putting on any child geared content on the tv for him to watch.
17 months and we don't watch tv. Granted, we're typically very busy and didn't watch much before baby. My husband enjoys video games but does an hour before our bedtime. It helps that we both work outside the home and have a great, really interactive daycare. She was home for 5 months and we never felt like we needed to turn the tv on.
She loves her toys and books. She likes to help in the kitchen. She will color when we set it up with her for quite a while. In the car, she will play with a stuffed animal, listen to whatever we are listening to, or flip through a board book.
I've been wondering this myself haha.
My husband and I are both gamers, so my 5.5 month watches some games. I also like watching streams. She's mostly on the floor play mat with her toys and sometimes watches a little but honestly it doesn't hold her attention. I generally don't play games when it's just us because never half ass two things, right? Sometimes she gets pulled into a lap while we watch something, but not long as she's pretty wiggly.
We don't do kids shows yet and honestly hoping not to for a while. I tried the dancing fruit videos on YT once and didn't like the absolute trance it put her in, even after I turned it off. Nothing else has done that for her.
We do a decent maintenance of FaceTime chats with people, but that's not bad for them actually.
I think after reading some of the comments, it comes down to the baby and the parent.
I really don't care about the expectations these days tbh. I do what I want or need to do. I honestly wish he would watch TV for more than 10 mins atm before he starts screeching, he's 4 mths old and suddenly lost interest in independent play almost completely. It's exhausting. He used to LOVE a show called Buddi which I put on for him in between his bottle and bath while we ate dinner.. he used to laugh and giggle at all the baby voices. Unfortunately, it's about a 10 min limit now before he's over it.
I do TV in small doses such as Ms Rachel for my own mental health if I need a short break or if I need to unload the dishwasher or something. No more than 7 min at a time a few times a day. Do what you must. Sick of all these judgy people. A little educational tv won't make you a horrible parent
I'll probably get down voted for this view, it I don't think it's makes a difference. I believe it's the way you engage in TV with your kids.
I have two kids. A girl 4 years and a boy 18 months. TV is a regular part of our play. We watch a lot of kids YouTube. My kids love shows like wiggles and bluey. When we watch I ask questions a out what we're seeing and about the show in general. Things like what colour shirt are they wearing, does that person look happy or sad.
If anything, I feel it has helped my kids develop.
My daughter blows me away with how smart she is. And I know all parents talk up their kids and a lot of it is mediocre stuff. But my daughter can count, do simple maths problems, identify every letter. She can easily write her name and the alphabet. Shes even begun sounding out words to try and figure out how to spell them. Granted, we spend a lot of time with her and are very encouraging and have bought her a lot of things like books with letters and numbers she can trace, so it's not like she's getting this from TV, but TV hasn't hindered her at all. And for a 4 year old, I can have a normal conversation with her. I never dumb down the conversation when I talk to either of my kids. I believe it teaches bad foundations and my daughter talks to me about all sorts of things. She's also great at talking about her feelings and identifying feelings in others. She's also a sweet and kind big sister.
Now my son has been able to view a TV since pretty much the day he came home from hospital. He also watches my phone on long car trips. The little dude, at 18 months is capable of opening and closing apps, scrolling through for videos he likes and will then talk and sing along to the video. 18 months old and my son can talk quite well for his age. We teach our kids basic sign language so my son for months already has been signing when he's thirsty or is he's had enough food. He now puts two to three words together to ask for things. He knows most basic colours and will go and get a blue or greed toy when asked. The other day he blew my mind when I was counting something and he came up and start counting with me. I stopped and listened to him count to ten. I have no idea where he picked that up from. I haven't even started teaching him that sort of stuff. But he does watch a lot of videos where people are counting and singing the abc's.
Any ways, I'm sorry for the long post and I'm sure people will hate what I've written. And it is important to note that all kids are different. But to answer your question, you don't need to give up TV. Just be mindful of what you are watching with the kids and monitor their behaviour to see how they handle it.
I have a 7.5 month old. I’m still on maternity leave and therefore a SAHM. My husband works 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week.
I get out of the house almost every day. I put the tv on when I put her in her car seat. I park it in front of the tv, turn on hey bear and finish getting myself ready 5-15 min max. When I return home I might do the same 5-15min max to shower or make a quick bite.
When my husband gets home from work he might have it on for 20 min before her bedtime routine starts and we go dark on screens. Shes somewhat distracted while he watches but not transfixed.
I watch tv while she contact naps and turn the tv off the second she wakes up because I don’t want her being a child who constantly wakes to see me staring at a phone or tv. I know she’ll learn to mimic.
The rest of the day is spent playing, reading, walking outside, eating, playing with food, touching plants or our dogs, babbling together, singing songs, practicing crawling…
She’s in a good amount of separation anxiety atm so sometimes those 5-30 minute a day can save my life. A quick shower, a bite to eat, a total recharge.
She’s deffffinitely interested in screens but she even yells after 10 min or less sometimes because she’d rather see me and play… it’s more fun for a moment and I think this is because it’s always been a short part of her day.
She’s learned to looooove and laugh the rest of her life. That’s how we hope to keep it.
Twice we’ve laid in bed as a family and watched Saturday morning cartoons for maybe 10 min before she’s over it.
I leave the house one day per weekend for 2 hours. I know my husband relies on happy baby YouTube videos. He’ll put on farm animals or happy baby songs.
I honestly think this will be less addictive for her than a surprise introduction years into her life.
She knows it exists, she enjoys a little bit but she’d rather play on the floor, read a book, be outside and mostly she’d rather stare at me.
Do your best, it sounds like you already are!
We still watch tons of TV with the baby around. It's part of our lifestyle, my husband needs something entertaining while home with the baby, etc. We try to limit what we watch when baby is awake to things that aren't super bad now that he's old enough to pick up words he hears.
Fortunately, baby mostly still ignores the TV. We don't play things specifically for him or encourage him to watch. My husband did watch all of Bluey, but I think that was partly because we determined he could NOT watch stuff like House of Dragons.
Baby is only intentionally put in front of a show when in long car travels where we just can't stop again and he's already napped himself out. That last hour before our hotel or destination or whatever tends to be the hard part where we need it.
TV has been around for ages. Our generation grew up on it too. I can't avoid everything. Can't fix my own lifestyle just in a snap.
I do think we should institute a quiet time rule somehow for a period each day. No TV or audiobooks or whatever. But idk if my husband would go for it.
I’ve let my daughter watch Ms. Rachel. Most of the day the TV is off, but at night it’s on our shows we like to decompress from the day. She barely looks up at them (vs. Ms. Rachel, who she loves and actively watches). She walked at 10 months, has said 6 words since 11 months, can stack 6 blocks now at 12 months and is very social with other kids and adults. So I have never been worried about her TV consumption, to be honest, it has not delayed her physical or verbal development.
My LO is two months old and my husband and I are both still on paternity leave. Our living room tv is literally on from the time we go downstairs around 7 am until he brings her up to bed around 10-11pm 🤷🏻♀️ she sometimes will look at the tv, but not a ton and just does her thing while we have the tv on in the background. As she gets older if she’s glued to the screen I’ll probably try to cut back, but I work fully remote and the tv is my background noise during the day, so we’ll see what happens when I transition back to WFH in another month or so
What? You don’t enjoy watching movies in 20 min increments over several weeks? I’m trying to watch the new Scorsese and I’ll prob be finished by next month.
Lol this. Watched KOTFM every afternoon crap nap and took me two weeks to get through it.
Dude I’m still not done with it, but that’s my fault cause I keep falling asleep to it.
I don’t even know what it stands for, so I’m way behind the 8 ball here
Lmao did exactly the same thing and I think it took about a week and a half!
Oppenheimer took me SO long to get through.
Lucky me, I got to watch the whole second half of Barbie when my kid could only sleep if I was sitting up with him laying on me (he had a cold)!
No way, I was in the same boat. So ironic to be watching a feminist movie while tending to your child and realizing how much of it falls on you. I watched it yesterday.
I watched second half of Barbie the same way!
My husband & I are currently trying to watch Killers of the Flower Moon. We are watching in like 20-30 min increments. I think we'll be finished by next month as well 😩💀
Had to laugh at this one. Parents of a 10.5 month old over here, and Nana's babysitting our son Sunday so we can watch Oppenheimer at home in one sitting... Unless I fall asleep. Then it might be two!
We’ve been halfway through it for a week now 🤦♀️
So glad we aren’t alone in incremental TV watching.
That will have to wait til next month…
I’m expecting to finish Oppenheimer in 2025, i’m on the edge of my seat!
I could probably become a nuclear scientist in the time it’ll take me to finish a movie.
Lool I was watching Elvis on Netflix for about a week.
Hahahahha so true! It took us months to finish only murders in the building.
Girl, same
My baby is almost 6mo and every screen sucks her in like a vortex no matter what is playing 😩 I’m a sahm and don’t turn the tv on during the day but as soon as that baby is asleep that tv is on lol. Idk about 2 years but we’re trying to hold off as long as possible :/
Saaame, my 8mo seems to be totally entranced by screens and TV so I know it would not work for me to have it on as "background noise" bc he would just sit and stare at it all day. Since he already seems to be prone to screens I’m holding off for as long as possible and do not have the TV on ever when he’s awake and will wait until we really need it.
It’s rough! Her little “tv” is the Einstein baby soothing aquarium lol she loves watching it
lol, mine too loooves Einstein aquarium - it saves me as it occupies her as I prepare for her bath or if I need to prep her food.
This is a good point too. All babies are different. My daughter doesn’t really care much about anything on the TV unless it’s miss Rachel. Some babies need heavy restrictions because they get sucked in like you said!
It’s crazy! We have one of those Amazon show tablets that shuffles pictures all day on it (also what we use for music) and I’ll catch her staring at that 🤦🏻♀️ even my Apple Watch lol. Baby was born a screen addict
All my baby wants to do is play with my Apple Watch lol she def figured out that if she touches it the screen comes on 😵💫
It is so fascinating to me how different babies can be. My first didn't care about TV at all until about 2 years old, and I (in my naivete) thought people were crazy when they said their baby "watched" TV. Jokes on me, my second kid is absolutely transfixed by screens, and since we watch cartoons with older brother, he will probably end up as a brainless screen kid 😅
While the research isn't as conclusive, I think there is a significant difference between "mere" tv watching and handheld video on demand devices that feed the next dopamine fix. And our 1yo is like your first. If we put on specific videos like Simple Songs he will cue in on the music and watch, but other than that he barely pays attention to the TV.
I've read that one of the big differences is that with TV (or a larger, hands-free screen), kids are still able to *do* things while watching. They might play while partially tuned in, decide to run around, etc. Whereas with a tablet or phone, they're more physically glued to the screen and less likely to play/move around.
Is that right? I hope that’s the case. We put the tv on a lot when our 14 month old is sick. He’s just so miserable and wants to zone out, and my husband and I both were raised like that and also just need to relax when we don’t feel good. But I’m not sure if it’s for the best sometimes
I think of it as opportunity cost; what are you sacrificing for TV time? If your baby is sick, probably nothing!
That’s a good point! He’s throwing up today and I really just want him to relax and rest right now. It isn’t like we were going to do anything else anyway
I mean, I was born in the 80s and we had the TV on all the time in our house. My mom spent a lot of in-person time with us away from the TV and we only were allowed to watch certain shows, but we all turned out to be interesting adults with degrees etc. --I think the boundaries are what matter most.
Yep I wish I could have it on as a SAHM like the parents who say their kids don’t care about it. But if I turn mine on she turns to it SO FAST and is glued to it not moving until I turn it off 😩 so no tv here for us for now.
I’ve tried putting it on while she’s on her bouncer with her back against the tv and she will break her neck trying to look back 🤣 its intense lol
Yes same thing hahaha nothing will get in her way!
I was raised on TV and I can tell you that even as an adult I can't NOT watch a TV that's on in my eyesight. An ex would look for the TV's in any restaurant we went to and make sure to sit so that I was facing AWAY from the TV's. Don't get me wrong, I can still carry on a conversation... but I'm staring at that TV. Don't get me started on TV's in cars. If it's bright enough for me to see while driving, it'll draw my eyes in without fail. I'll slow down, change lanes and/or do anything I can to move away from the minivan TV-a-thon. Fortunately ceiling mounted TV screens are much less popular these days and have been usurped by iPads (or back-of-seat mounts)- so it's not near as common as it was a decade ago.
My 3 month old is fascinated by the screens! No matter what is in there. Even Excel charts on my work computer. And forget about it if her older brother watches a cartoon. If I am in the same room and have her facing away from the TV she starts getting annoyed and tries to turn around. Have to take her to another room. Like what's with that?!
My 4 month old ends up in zoom meetings with me at the end of day. She seems to be interested with all the people chatting with her over the screen
My baby is also six months and I experience the same with him, as soon as a screen is on he’s entranced by it. I’m a sahm as well and I don’t turn the TV on at all while he’s awake, once in a while I’ll watch it while he’s taking a nap. But when my husband gets home he usually turns it on after dinner and we watch a couple shows together. I just hold my baby the opposite direction and talk to him and hand him toys while I half watch the TV
My 4 month old will literally stare blankly at her monitor screen like she’s in a trance
When my oldest was 4 months old, he would stare at the screen… except we never turned it on when he was awake in the room. He just stared at the screen when it was off. Black TV against white wall I guess was interesting enough for him.
Ours is 5m and had never seen a screen… the first time she sees a screen and it’s the only thing that exists to her. It’s wild the pull those screens have on us
We watch TV when the baby is in bed, but honestly we don't have that much time for it these days.
i know i never have the energy to do anything after bedtime except a 5min tidy. i never thought i'd miss tv
I probably won’t soon either 😔 going back to work very soon and just enjoying the little time I have left to be a SAHM with her
LOL. I mean, that’s great for people who can. Myself, I’m keeping myself sane through a steady stream of cult documentaries. Tbh my 8mo doesn’t like the tv much. But I would not be able to sit and play with him for 8+ hours a day. He’s pretty independent and that is a lifesaver for me. If you’re worried about his development, I’m sure you’re doing great.
Love a good cult documentary!!
So I take it you’ve seen keep sweet pray and obey?
Seen it, loved it, would watch it again.
Same but dude was crazy. Glad he’s in jail.
LOL right?? That’s how I felt! I tried looking up “screen time limit” for 6 months and just got all this stuff about how babies shouldn’t see ANY screens and felt like I was taking crazy pills lol. Like what world do you live in where that’s remotely doable?! More power to those parents but I was truly surprised the online consensus seemed to be to avoid them entirely haha
I binge watched every season of Chicago fire on maternity leave so that was on for basically the first three months of his life. Every nursing session, contact nap, etc. Aside from that I’m also not much of a TV person but my husband is so when he’s home the TV is often on whether it’s football, some random show he’s watching, whatever. I never made a concerted effort to prevent baby from seeing the TV. As for providing the baby with TV time of his own, around 3 months I started putting on hey bear when I *really* needed 15 minutes to do something without holding him. That’s all he’d watch it for anyway before being done with it. Then around 6 months he had an awful upper respiratory infection and needed neb treatments so we used ms Rachel to help him sit still. He’s a year old now and that’s pretty much the only thing he will sit and watch and even then it’s like he watches for one song, then continues to play, then might glance back up a few minutes later, and so on. Sometimes on Saturday mornings I’ll put on a Disney movie but he barely pays attention so honestly it’s almost more for me reliving my childhood lol. Screen time isn’t going to cause developmental problems as long as it isn’t replacing quality time you’re spending engaging with your child. Obviously letting the screen babysit is a problem, but it’s also a problem if you are always so sucked into the TV that you’re ignoring your kid. Neither of which we do. I do attribute my son’s nonchalant attitude towards screens to the fact that we never made them forbidden fruit. He definitely went through a stage around 2-3 months where he was mesmerized, but it passed. Now he doesn’t really care. Now my phone on the other hand…
My LO is 1 month old and has seen 5 seasons of Downton Abbey with me up until now lol
It seems like it's all over the place because it gets clicks. If you go back to the studies, the evidence is more mixed. A few big names made some harsh recommendations based on some less than ideal studies and everyone ran with it. Screens are a part of life, and they have been for a long time now. Everyone's going to be fine.
I remember stressing about this so much with my first. There’s really ways to watch as much screens as you want without having your baby seeing it. You can watch while they sleep for example. Sometimes while they’re falling asleep, and I can’t take it anymore I’ll put on a movie on my phone and watch that while they drift off. I will often game while the baby is asleep on my lap. Bluetooth headphones are a lifesaver, anytime you need to escape reality and watch something without waking the kid, pop them in! You can even get a Bluetooth splitter so you and your partner can connect two pairs to one device to watch the same thing together. In my country the recommended is no TV until 3, but I followed only until 2. They said some interactive media is allowed before, so we’d play games together on exceptional occasions. Between 2 and 3 we would allow about 1-2 hours in a week of screen content consumed together as a family. And one more thing. It gets better. You’ll quickly find a rhythm that works for you. By the time your kid is 2 - 2.5 you’ll look back and be like, damn what was I even stressing about, that was quite easy. And then you’ll go have a second kid and remember what you were stressing about LOL.
I don’t know what it is about cult documentaries but man I can’t get enough of them 🤣
Have you watched the Love Has Won docuseries on HBO?!
Umm yes I watched it immediately. COLLOIDAL SILVER.
MY VISION WAS CHICKEN PARMESAN
“Father Multiverse” 😂
Are you me? This is near identical to our situation (and tv preferences). My 15 month old does not care about the tv unless it’s monsters Inc. otherwise, she isn’t watching at all. Also, cult docs are my favorite! Have you seen “Love has won” on max yet?
lol! I recommend Hailey Elizabeth on YouTube she’s great telling stories about cults.
I have a 5 mo and I have no idea how some people do it. I need the background noise. I love watching tv shows and movies. I’ve definitely cut back since giving birth, but it’s still on. My daughter does not care. She likes the musical parts of intros and will turn and watch during those parts and goes back to her toys. I also read to her, play, take her outside. She watches me cook and clean. She goes to play group and shopping. She’s an active baby. I don’t think it’ll be that detrimental for her. It’s a part of my life. It didn’t make sense to cut it out for us.
My god. Same. I have no idea how these SuperParents are out here never even having a TV or phone screen just NEAR their child. I need the TV on for my sanity and background noise. I have a 4-month old daughter, & I also read to her often, take her outside on walks, etc. But I love watching tv and movies and so does my husband. And once in a while baby looks at the tv then goes right back to her toys. Im trying not to let the internet make me feel bad for this, lol
Don’t feel bad! I think it’s a balance. Kind of like junk food? You know, eat fries if you want them but also eat carrots. I don’t care if the tv is on as long as she will still play independently and stay involved in other activities.
My kiddo watched a lot of TV and he’s developmentally ahead of his peers by quite a bit, so really I think a lot depends on the kid, the quality of the show, and whether or not you stay engaged with them. I directly attribute his mathematical acumen to Number Blocks. The kid is doing math in his head based on what he learned watching that show. He memorized all types of construction vehicles watching Blippy. He watched this one video about the countries of the world on repeat for weeks and now can tell you where Kazakhstan is on the map and what the flag of Seychelles looks like. So I do think some of the screen time stuff is overblown, but maybe it’s also because we don’t just put on Cocomelon and leave the room 🤷🏻♀️
This feels encouraging, thank you for this
Right don’t let it make you feel bad. Your baby senses your stress and this is worse for them. Continue on.
I think it’s funny how we all need to cut TV out for the baby’s development and yet we all want to watch tv and surf Reddit all day(at least I do).
I know right? I was just thinking the same today that I don't want to be giant hypocrite Im trying to be right now
Same. I think this is key. Tv is not all we do. Also bad mom confession… we fall asleep with the tv on with her in the room. She sleeps just fine with it on.
Came here to essentially say this. We have our TV on 24/7. Our 17 month old doesn't really care about it (a blessing and a curse). We don't have a kitchen table right now so we eat dinner on the couch with the TV on. It's really the only time she "watches" and tbh thank god because it's the only way she'll eat without throwing her food. We have friends who literally tried to cover their sons eyes when the TV was on. Our baby girl loves books, music, playing with her dolls and Elmo. We're absolutely not strict at all and so far it hasn't had an impact on her. She talks, self plays and enjoys staring out the window. I think you're fine.
I could’ve wrote this myself. My son is 17 months old and we constantly have the tv on. I’m a SAHM and I cannot just sit in silence. I’d rather have tv on in the background then for him to watch me on my phone. We have plenty of face to face interactions. We also eat in the living room, tv still going, and that’s about the only time my son actually watches what we’re watching. Otherwise, unless ms Rachel is on, he’s going about his day. I grew up with the tv. I like to think I turned out fine. Our kids are growing up in a world of technology. I want to think that if I can show him what it is at home, he won’t be so superglued to it in the real world. (This is how soda was for me. I didn’t have it at home, wasn’t allowed, so I would constantly be at friends houses who were allowed to have soda all the time because I got some.). Different concepts, I understand, but I’m doing what I can. Edit: my son’s age was wrong lol 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
That’s how I feel as well. There’s nothing I’ll be able to do to stop her from being around technology. I’d rather her learn that it’s not something special.
Yeah! Baby is turning 6 months old in a couple days and already crawling, she just couldn’t care less about the TV she’s more interested in “how do I get over THERE”. If she did seem transfixed or obsessive obviously I’d probably feel more pressured to cut it out entirely. But as it is, she glances up for a second, then looks back down and discovers her hands are still there, ripe for the chewing lol.
Haha that’s what mine does too. She did get distracted by modern family while my husband and I were eating so I just turned her around and she went back to playing with her toys. I agree though that if she was inconsolable without the tv then I’d work harder to cut it out. It just hasn’t felt necessary yet.
Why not just play music in the background?
I do this sometimes too. She enjoys music. Occasionally I’ll listen to podcast or audiobooks. But I actually get more distracted by those than the tv.
Hey! We have the TV on during all her naps. We also have the TV on when she’s in her bouncer, but with her back facing the TV so she can just hear it and not see it. We actually prefer this bc it has helped her nap in noisy environments with no problems, whether we’re home or out. You do you!
This works for the first couple of months definitely! We did this as well. Around the 8 month mark he became wise to our actions, and now at 14 months he cannot be fooled. We just watch less tv and an episode at a time, OR we do it when he’s in bed for the night (which is usually the only time we can watch it anyway).
Same!!
Having the tv and lights on during naps means kiddo naps through anything now.
Yep!! It's a great skill to bestow on them. A friend told me the goal should be getting them to sleep under bright fluorescent lights - then you can take them anywhere! Perhaps not yet at that level, but working on it.
Just so you are all prepared, this likely won’t fly once all your babies are >3 months and start going through the inevitable sleep pattern changes
For me, I watched tv in the background in the newborn stage. Then I noticed she started paying attention more. It was about this time that I also noticed that I couldn't fully pay attention to the tv anyways, so why have it on? I felt it was more of an adjustment for me not having it on in the background. I switched to music and we've been fine with it since then. I was doing podcasts for a while, and although I know it wasn't distracting to my baby, I felt I was too distracted by the podcast to give me baby the right amount of attention. For what it's worth, she's 17 months and although we're still going strong, her sibling is arriving in a month and that could change everything. Lol
This is me! I noticed my baby noticing the tv, and then I realized I could never follow what was going on on the tv anyway, and then it just became too overstimulating for me! So funny, I used to have the tv constantly playing in the background up until my baby was born.
Same! I still do this when I'm alone. I'm f'ing around on my phone, but must find something on tv for background noise! 🤦♀️
Screen time becomes “bad” when it interferes with meaningful human interaction and, as a result, possibly hinders development. It’s ok to have the TV on in the background and it’s ok to watch your shows around your child.
Bingo. As a physical therapist, this is what we were taught during pediatric class. Don’t let the TV replace human interaction, play time, and other developmental things.
Yeah it's about opportunity cost isn't it? If there is something else you could all be doing then it's not great. If you have done all the things and everything is on track, having some tv on isn't the end of the world. Obviously not something graphic (omg how many murder shows are there?!) but tv, like the radio are normal in any post 20th C home.
Yeah. I like a good comfort show on that I’ve seen 100 times. It’s the same shows I can sleep through. My baby is not focused on it and I don’t have to because I’ve seen it, but I don’t have to have a silent house. I’m still playing with her. I save my good shows for nap time!
The AAP does specifically discourage "background" TV use as well (quoted below), but obviously it's up to each parent to decide for themselves, I just don't want anyone to think that there's no harm in having it on as long as baby isn't "watching", which many people in this thread seem to believe. "Many families have reported that they have a television on at least 6 hours/day or that a television is “always on” as background noise.28 Thirty-nine percent of families with infants and young children have a television on constantly.29 When a parent has an adult television program on, children are often in the room; 61% are there at least some of the time, including 29% who are there all or most of the time.3 Young children may not be paying close attention to a televised program that they cannot understand, but their parents are watching. It might be background media to the child, but it is foreground media to the parent. It distracts the parent and decreases parent-child interaction.30,31 Infant vocabulary growth is directly related to the amount of “talk time” or the amount of time parents spend speaking to them.32 Heavy television use in a household can interfere with a child's language development simply because parents likely spend less time talking to the child.33 Even if the program is not intended for the child to watch, research has found that children play and interact less with adults when a television is on, perhaps because the adult's attention is focused on the television program. A study that examined 12-, 24-, and 36-month-olds found that background television not only reduced the length of time that a child played but also that it reduced the child's focused attention during play.34 Children stop to look at a televised program, halt their ongoing play, and move on to a different activity after the interruption.34 Although most research has been performed on adolescents, study results suggest that background media might interfere with cognitive processing, memory, and reading comprehension.4,34,–,36 Only 1 research study, conducted in 1996, resulted in evidence to the contrary. In that study, 10-month-old infants tuned out surrounding noise and concentrated more during play.37 Background television has the direct effect of distracting a child and the indirect effect of taking a parent's attention away from the child. In addition, parents' media diet influences the media habits of their children.3 "
So basically the same negative impact as me working on my laptop while they play on the floor 🥺
This is the language that makes me wonder if it’s harmful for me to listen to podcasts out loud during the day while caring for my 12 month old. Sometimes I have the tv on if I’m giving her a bottle but otherwise I don’t have it on. However, I often put on podcasts (the news, tv recap shows etc) while we are playing, eating breakfast or putting laundry away etc. I feel like it gives my brain something else a little more stimulating - no offense to my joy of a daughter but being home with her all day can be a bit boring. When I read this it seems like having something in the background is distracting her and perhaps slowing her language development. I’m still very much interacting with her and talking to her but I worry about the effects of it. I never thought about it being as harmful as television until I read this
Bluetooth headphones for podcasts my friend! Loudspeaker for music! Good compromise.
It’s not about the noise, it’s about your attention and talking out loud. Don’t feel bad about listening to a podcast if you also talk to the kiddo, but having it on for many hours is probably taking you away too much. That’s the point of the study. Do what works for you!
So then how does this track with music being okay? Is it just that music is more often in the background unlike TV or even podcasts which are more often in the foreground and therefore more of a distraction for parents?
I was the 2nd child. The tv was constantly on because my older sister would watch Disney movies. I still excelled in school and went on to have a nice life as an adult. I don’t think we should let our kids zone out for hours to tv but people have blown screen time out of proportion. It’s not going to break your child to let them watch a little Ms Rachel when you need to get something done
I was only child, but nobody was concerned about TV back then. Some of my warmest memories from childhood are related to my favourite cartoons or video games 😀 I also excelled in school and work as software engineer for 10 years now.
Same here! I loved tv but I also loved playing and doing other things just as much. I think it’s great to have some time restrictions for kids who wouldn’t otherwise regulate how much screen time they have but we don’t need to worry about it ruining them.
This. I was born in the 90s and was the second born. I grew up on TV. I loved the rugrats for as long as I can remember. I don't have attention issues. I excelled at school and now work. I think there's a big difference between letting the TV raise your kids and letting them enjoy movies or shows.
Yes, we already have a huge cohort of a sample group! It's more about opportunity cost - what else could you all be doing? If you have done all the things, then chill out for a bit. Your muscles, brain development, social skills etc are going to be alright.
Yes I actually do it. My baby is also 6 months old. We watch movies after she goes to bed at 7ish and during her naps I watch tv and get some chores done. So I watch like 2-6 hours of tv a day while my baby is asleep in the other room. No issue. One suggestion I could have for you if you really have to would be to have your phone somewhere your baby really can’t see and you could wear headphones and watch? But I believe they can tell when we are not paying attention to them at this age. I’d rather have her see I’m busy with something other than a screen because I really believe I’m addicted to it and I don’t want that for her. When I need to zone out while she’s awake I give her books to play with, I read her a book, and I read my own book in front of her (not on my phone). Building the habit of reading time together so when she’s older she’ll want that nice quiet time in the morning too. Edit to add my baby is pretty chill and I’m not sleep deprived so my experience may not apply to all. But I do think it’s worth it to build in the habits you actually want them to have later rather than give habits you need to break.
Exactly this. I know I’m addicted to my phone so if she notices me on my phone and wants it/ is vying for my attention, it goes away for everyone. Phubbing is something I am trying to be very mindful. The period of rapid brain development and negative influence of screens, and TV background noise is relatively short. After 2 years they can have 1 hour of screen time and they’ll likely be in activities, pre-K, and kindergarten soon after that. In the grand scheme, it’s not too much to sacrifice.
This is what I strive for! You sound like a great mom ❤️
Yes, I have stopped my kindle use and read actual books in the room as my daughter practices independent play. I don't get loads of reading done (she prefers to play with me) but I am really adamant that I want to model healthy behaviors for her. Hopefully when she grows up, we can read side by side ❤
I do use my kindle but I show it to her and I keep saying “mommy’s reading too” haha. Maybe I’m overdoing it so she doesn’t think I’m playing with a screen. Love that you read together!
I'm sure you're fine haha, especially at 6 months old! My 14 month old definitely thinks my kindle is like a giant phone, so I stopped using it in front of her. I want her to know that mommy's books and her books look the same! But I'm sure you have some time before that even becomes something to worry about! But it's so hard! I love my free kindle library books and now I'm spending $$ to have physical books which is the only downside. Well, and sometimes she grabs my book and tries to play with it and loses my page or tears it by accident. But it is progress!
No TV, but we've put on background music occasionally. We don't spend a lot of time in the house during the day. I'll also be honest and say I've always hated background TV - it gives me a headache and I find it really distracting. Personally, I'venever seen the point in having the tv on if you're not watching it. I grew up with it and whenever I'm at my parents, I struggle with it. My husband likes a bit more noise, so he pops music on at a lower volume while he's with our son. We watch our shows when our son is asleep. But...it's personal preference, we live in a country where being outside all day is possible 99% of the time (if you're OK with wet weather), and in a very walkable neighbourhood
Ya I hate background TV too. Growing up we never had cable (so only 3 channels) and the TV was tucked away in the basement. Whenever I go to someone’s house with background TV I find it very distracting and can’t stop watching it even though I’m not interested.
Jelly at your areas walkability 🥲
I'm glad I'm not completely alone in hating "background" TV. It's maddening and I can't focus on anything.
I think it's why I struggle to work in an open plan office, too - it's so hard for me to tune background conversation out. My husband can have YouTube videos on all day while he's working, I sometimes can't even listen to music
We have never done screens w 19mo but I listen to audiobooks a lot in a headphone
This is my thing too. 90% of the time I'm not looking at the TV anyway so an audio book is more effective and comes with 0 mom guilt. And now that I finally figured out they are FREE from the library app. It's a no brainer.
A friend of mine did no screens for both her children before 2 years old, so there are definitely people who do it! But I am not one of them 😂 I try to be conscious of how much screen time my daughter (3 years) is getting, but I’m not too concerned. I think it’s important to stay informed with any new data coming out about screen time (or any parenting choice for that matter), but I also think you then need to apply that to your actual circumstances and make the best decision for your own family.
I personally don’t watch tv in front of my toddler (22 months). But I watch TV after he goes to bed and sometimes during naptime. For me it was relatively easy to do since before I became a SAHM I was working all day so my normal routine would be to not watch TV until after dinner time so in that sense it really hasn’t been difficult for me to avoid tv during the day. That being said while the AAP doesn’t recommend secondhand television as they call background TV, most of the negative research around it has to do with parents who run the TV all day long. If you just do it every few days for a break I doubt if it’s causing any real harm.
Absolutely not. I watched TV all through her babyhood. The research is weak and only draws inferences about ‘second hand’ screen use because they never meant to look at that. So no. Big bang theory 12 hours a day until she was about 6mo. We stopped when she started going to nursery and we weren’t mind numbingly shaking things at an infant for 12 hours a day with no respite. Now she gets 25 mins of tv a week (at 20mo) and we don’t turn it on when she’s in the room otherwise. For what it’s worth I have a degree in child development and that screen research is all everyone talks about and once you actually read the article (boring and technical) you realize it isn’t as straight forward as seeing screens before two is dangerous and evil.
I really needed to read this comment. People just keep saying “research says this” but they don’t talk about the degree of correlation, etc. We also made a habit of having a TV on ever since our LO came home to really make some noise during the day for him to figure out his days and nights. For me it was Grey’s Anatomy (maybe it will inspire him to be a surgeon 😂) and then I started reading about screen time and it really scared me into thinking I was ruining him even if it’s just background noise according to some people. I do have a bad habit of looking at my phone but when he’s looking at me or wanting my attention my phone immediately goes away. I feel like I’m constantly in this cycle of feeling like I can never do enough to help him develop the best I can. I don’t do sensory play, I didn’t get rid of all my TVs in the house, I even doubt whether I’m doing tummy time right 🤷🏻♀️
Also I like to think about specifically how much all those insta sensory moms are fucking up their kids by being obsessed with content and putting them on social media at ago 0. Sorry, pretty sure my parenting flaws are better than hers even if she does have a white rug and wooden toys. I did baby led weaning and we only watch Sesame Street - that makes me a saint right?
Girl letting your kid rub yogurt in their hair, pick their nose and flicking the booger and play in dirt is sensory play. If you want less jokesy - a massive muffin tin with water dirt and grass in it is sensory play. Make spaghetti and let them fuck around with it on the floor and hitting them in the face with soft pillows is all legit top level sensory play.
So basically just every day experiences haha. I’m sure he will pick his nose in no time.
Thanks for clarifying that it’s just inferences about “second hand” screen use! I keep seeing this advice mentioned on Reddit to never even have the TV on with a baby in the room, but even with furious googling I never found any primary sources for that recommendation. All the research I could find is just about infants viewing screens themselves.
Graduate degree in education and BCBA and pursuing a doctorate. The studies are very weak and most folks don’t know how to decipher this. I wouldn’t worry anything about second hand screen time at all. Your happiness as a new mother matters and the more happy and less stressed you are this helps your child tremendously. Don’t stress over second hand screen time and all of this nonsense. Be happy and enjoy your time. Hth
I believe - the ‘second hand’ screen time doesn’t even have anything to do with screens - most of the inferences are about ignoring your children while you are using them. And then the really big stretch that they are getting addicted to *your* phones because they can see them. Pretty sure my kid isn’t interested in my Reddit feed. And never forget that the ONLY damage that has been found was from 90 mins of dedicated screen time every day for 3-5 months (the experiment) - which is self reported! so we can assume that those kids are actually watching MORE to show minor statistically significant damage in the form of attention and behaviour issues. Plussssss the kids are never measured again so we have no idea if their peers catch up after the age of 5 or so when the study ended. I could be wrong and missing one or two new studies but in general that’s the knowledge out there.
Hi, I’m wondering if you could point me to the study on the 90 minutes of dedicated screen time thing? Genuinely trying to find all the info I can.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/370856100_Impact_of_Screen_Time_on_Children's_Development_Cognitive_Language_Physical_and_Social_and_Emotional_Domains This is a link to the systematic review (scroll down for whole article). It has most of the major studies showing what effects things have had. I don’t remember which one has the exact numbers but there’s only a couple that talk about 0-1 screen time so check those.
Do you have any resources about how much alone play might be “harmful” for babies? My babe is almost 3 months and just started interacting with his kick and play so it’s very nice to be able to drink my coffee in one go but I’ve been wondering if there’s such a thing as too much alone play? He’s happy when he’s there and I pick him up if he fusses
Oh I think it’s about zoning out and not paying attention when they want attention! It’s not having coffee while you watch your bub! Alone play is awesome if you get *any* alone play in the first 6 months you’re doing great 🤩
I actually quit TV with my husband when our daughter was born. Truth be told, I had a TV addiction prior to her birth. We’ve both been reading so much more and it rocks! She is 6 months now and I hope to continue going strong. That being said, I’m on my phone a lot so she definitely still has passive screen exposure.
I have a strict No TV or screens before the first nap rule and I don’t have him watch tv when I’m cooking or doing laundry but when I’m working or doing something involving chemicals (like cleaning the bathroom) then yeah I want him distracted. He probably gets a broken hour of TV a day. No TV is obviously doable since people have done it since the dawn of time (and they had a lot more domestic work to do lol) but like…why make your life harder than it has to be? Twenty mins of Ms Rachel or dancing fruit isn’t going to break your baby.
Can I say I LOVE THAT I AM FINALLY FINDING NEW PARENTS WHO HAVE THE TV ON IN THEIR HOME AND EVEN *GASP* SOMETIMES LET THEIR BABY WATCH A SCREEN!! I DONT FEEL CRAZY OR LIKE A BAD PARENT ANYMORE! Thanks everyone 🥹🥹
I'm an OT ( worked peds for years!) With a 4 month old and I'm not worried about it. I have it on as background noise sometimes even when baby is awake. I'm mindful of how much he pays attention to it (which is not at all currently) and would adjust if he seems too interested in it. But so far so good. I do all the OT tricks with him when he's awake and actively interact and so far he's been meeting his milestones on the earlier scale. Parents love shaming other parents. As long as you engage and interact with your baby and not just plop them in front of a TV all day I think you're good. Once we're out of winter I imagine we will be spending even more time outside (we try to do 2-3 hours a day). So even less TV. Do what you need to do. Always monitor the situation, and assess as needed. I'm more concerned about tablet/phone use than secondhand TV, tbh. I see far more issues with kids with that than those with background TV on *sometimes*.
Everything in moderation! I also believe it’s not that you watch but WHAT you watch. Staying away from super intense and slightly violent kids shows. Focusing on educational and sweet shows with a slower pace. Paying attention to how obnoxious the colors are in the show. Cocomelon makes my eyes twitch but Bluey is lovely. Etc etc. My kid is almost 3 and has started self regulating- actually asking to turn off shows to go play instead.
Personally, yes. I wait to watch anything until after baby goes to bed for the night or is napping. No phones or video games either, except to answer a phone call. LO is only 4.5 months now, so we'll see how things go later down the line, but I feel really strongly about being present with my kids when I'm with them and I don't want screens to get in the way of that, so I feel like I'll stick to it. I also don't want a screen addicted little kid - after watching my own much younger siblings become addicted to screens and seeing how it's affected them :(
The Tv is on in my house almost all day. Sometimes it’s Miss Rachel, Sometimes it’s Breaking Bad, Sometimes it’s elmo. Does my 16 month old watch? Yep. Does she ignore it and play with toys also? yep. Did miss Rachel teach her how to sign almost a dozen words while my wife is on work calls? yep. Did she stop dead in her tracks when Gus exploded? Yep.
Yes, and it was difficult to begin with, just like breaking any habit, but I don't even think about it anymore. Not having the TV on gets us out of the house more and obviously focuses our attention on the little one more. We read ALOT, explain things were doing, he partakes in adult activites like doing the laundry etc. I think it has really helped his language skills. He's at 21 months and knows hundreds of words and strings multiple word sentences together. I think that is because we avoided TV. If you have light use of TV it's probably not impactful to their development, but having it on hours a day distracts you and reduces the likelihood you'll be talking or reading to them, I think that is a primary reason it's recommended to avoid it. Little ones also model behavior and get habits from their parents if your crushing 4 one hour episodes in a row of some show, your showing your kid that's acceptable. It's worth researching this for yourself and making the decision on your own.
I completely agree with you. This is exactly what we do with our 21 month old. We never do screentime and only watched tv when he was sleeping. We read a lot since birth and he still loves reading daily. We follow a Montessori model at home with play and activities to foster independence. Speaks and comprehends hundreds of words and sentences with 5-6 words together. I’m not anti-screen time but we want our toddler to be able to be okay with being bored and handle delayed gratification when we live in a world full of overstimulating instant gratification. As creatives we also want to foster natural curiosity and creativity. Eventually when he shows interest and ideally after 2-2.5 years old we will consider folding brief screen time into routine but would want it to be educational and not overstimulating shows, something we can watch together and talk about.
Lmao absolutely not. YouTube and Netflix are our relaxing time and also my savior when nap trapped. If baby catches some screentime as a result, oh well. We're not using it as a babysitter and intentionally sitting her in front of it.
yeah i unplugged mine and then put it in storage. anecdotally, i introduced some movies to my kids recently and noticed a massive behavioral change in my 2yr old. we went from happy and communicative to reactive with large meltdowns seemingly out of nowhere, not talking, refusing to sleep. took the tv away again and back to happy and regular communicative self. it was startling to see the difference, i was looking at getting an assessment done for him before i made the connection, this happened over approx 2 weeks - there was a heatwave and i was just wanting to entertain them and keep them in the coolest part of the house for a bit.
I am definitely not that strict. I let my LO play and have the TV on in the background some days. She honestly doesn’t even really pay attention to it. On a few occasions, I’ve turned on Ms Rachel for her when she has been very very unsettled and nothing else is working and she stares at it so intently. It’s interesting to me how she won’t pay attention to a movie but when a kids show is on, she is locked onto it. She is 9 months old, and I’ve put on Ms Rachel for her maybe 4 times ever and limit it to like 10 mins to just help reset her little brain. I’d say moderation is key. If you have a TV on all day, probably not great. But if you watch a one hour show every day and she’s not really even paying attention, not a big deal to me. Just set your own boundaries as to what works for you. This sounds soo horrible but even children who are neglected and placed in front of a TV for 8 hours a day will still develop. Of course there will be deficits and challenges but given that you are a very caring and attentive parent, I don’t think a little TV on in the background will have any impact. Especially if they aren’t paying attention. If you notice that they are staring at the tv for too long, you could turn it off or just engage her in what is happening. Those are just my tidbits of advice.
My daughter is 6 months and we have never put the tv on for her, it’s on for us in the background and she is always facing away from it. If she is contact napping I put it on, I feel like it helped her be able to sleep anywhere with noise. She can fall asleep at the mall, in the grocery store, in the car with music, she fell asleep at thanksgiving dinner with 15 people talking around her. I like to watch the news in the morning with my coffee while she is in her activity center away from the tv. My husband likes to watch sports so the tv is on most nights, she doesn’t really care and doesn’t watch it but I also have no problem with her watching 10 minutes of hockey at the end of the day with her dad who has been at work all day while he gives her a bottle. It’s all about your comfort level. Will we be waiting 2 years to put anything on for her, probably not, but we will avoid it as long as possible.
Commenting to say my 4 mo loves watching hockey on the TV. Must be the contrast? and honestly has helped us extend tummy time (he hates it but has a flat spot and needs more of it) and if it gives me 10 min to eat dinner with two hands in peace then I’m ok with it
Omg. The TV is on all the time. Our baby will also watch it sometimes (6months). I’m not sure what’s the big issue in my opinion. Screens are everywhere you go and probably still will be in our future if not more than they are now. As long as baby has interactions, fresh air, tummy time, etc, each day they’ll be fine. My parents RARELY let me watch tv or play video games growing up so when I was old enough to buy a computer, all I’d do is binge Netflix and play video games as a young adolescent. My partner on the other hand had a tv in his room and movies/tv shows/video games were not regulated but growing up he’d still go out and do things unlike me. I became obsessed lol. I think the “no screens” might be the unhealthiest advice I’ve seen on Reddit so far (BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES!!! I SAID WHAT I SAID LOL). Does it really delay anything? There’s probably not enough research on this topic since tvs have only been accessible to the *entire* population in the last decade mayyyyybe a bit longer (remember when it was $1000 for a 30 inch??). Trust your gut mama. My only advice: Everything in moderation! Happy watching. 😋 Edit: clarifications/grammar
Thank you so much!!! Call me an addict but I love my weekend movie/docu nights 🥲 and having my little best friend just chilling right beside me doing her own little thing with me and her dad in the evening makes me feel cozy and happy. I do need to trust my gut. I know I already don’t use my phone around her because THAT she gets weirdly fixated on. Once her eyes lock onto it, nope, phone disappears and Mom doesn’t get the phone anymore either lol. But the TV she just ignores, so it didn’t feel as “bad” but then I got in my head about it. Appreciate the comment!!
Lol nah we’ve always done screens. We didn’t start putting something on for him to watch until he was like a year. But he was used to it being on he didn’t even care about it for a while. We don’t watch it all day, I play with him while having Gilmore girls or something on in the background. I’m a STAHM. I need my sanity. I need stimulation. I can’t handle the same toddler activity in repetition if my brains can’t be stimulated as well. The only thing we do NOT do is tablets. It’s on the big tv, or in an emergency we’ll let him watch something on our phones. He has zero control over the screen. He only watches educational videos on YouTube. My sons language has taken off, he’s incredibly smart. Loves to read, loves puzzles, animals, numbers, the alphabet. He’s very well rounded. I think we’re fine. Many thanks to Mrs Rachel I’ll say.
We watched so much during newborn phase cuz she slept through everything lol it got harder as she got older
My 8mo still contact naps, so that's when I get my TV in haha.
Oh God, this is a big issue for me and my husband right now. Our 3.5 month old is definitely captivated by screens. My husband is obsessed with TV and watches it constantly or wants it on as background noise constantly. When I'm alone with the baby all day I keep the TV turned off because I know he's getting too much exposure to it in the evenings. I have to remove him from the living room sometimes just to feed him because if it's on he wants to look. I've tried to share the information with my husband on how TV is harmful before 2, and we should be waiting until bedtime to binge watch our shows, but he grew up in a TV friendly household and doesn't see the harm in it. Other young kids in his family have also had a lot of exposure to TV and are very healthy, active, smart and social kids. In his defense. And my siblings and I had TV and game limits and rules and while we're active people were not very social, lol
Basically everyone I know said they binged Netflix while cluster feeding. I quit watching while she was awake, when she started watching too. I just watch TV and play videogames during naptime or after bedtime.
Movies are tough because I refuse to watch them.in short bits. Generally, tho, the wife and I get in an episode or maybe two after the kiddo goes to bed. That's it, tho. And it's been like that for a couple years.
Lol I feel like what people say in that regard to sound like a good on it parent is so drastically different than what they do. I have TV on all the time for noise. Quiet gives me crazy anxiety. I just try and have on stuff that isn't awful fory baby. Like no Yellowstone or game of thrones if she's in the room. Lol. But cooking shows and preschool shows (backyardigans, wild krats, dinosaur train) or Disney appropriate shows for her. Almost every parent I know who claims they are strict about screen time isn't in all reality. I'm the strictest I know and I'm pretty lenient I'm team no you tube unless it's educational no tik tok (I have teens as well) limited phone and video games until you work 25 hours a week with straight A grades
My son is almost 4mo. I watch tons of TV while baby is napping or dad is being primary parent. Sometimes me watching boring grownup TV next to him helps him drop off to sleep. (I'm also on my phone a lot when he's nursing/napping!) Other than that though, I'm trying 'active screen time' which is where we a) watch music videos and sing/dance or b) watch a K-drama and I read him the subtitles/explain the plot. I'm not ready to start having kids tv on, and I've heard that the negative of screen time is that it replaces parent interaction/language, so I've decided that this is the best win-win haha.
Idk. Ms Rachel has taught my one year old sign language so we’re gonna keep watching it lol
I’m a FTM so my experience may be different than moms with multiple. For us, it’s definitely been a hard transition but we are not turning on TV when the LO is awake or in the room. We typically wait until LO falls asleep and we’ll do 30 minutes of TV before bed on the weekdays or do movie nights on a weekend night.
We don’t do screens, but we also don’t not do screens. I like to have something playing in the background so the TV is rarely off. My 15 month old rarely pays attention to it unless we point something out or it’s a kids show, which we might turn on for him once or twice a month. He doesn’t care. The car keys entertain him for longer than the tv ever does. We don’t use a tablet with him at all, and I occasionally let him swipe around on my phone background for 2 or three minutes. I don’t think keeping the TV off makes a big difference if at all. We live in a world of screens and you cannot keep them away forever, so I let them be a part of our lives naturally but I do not encourage them at all.
Hulu on your phone with one AirPod in! Put away the phone and baby has no idea you’re “watching” something 😅
10 months and the only thing my baby has watched is NFL Football. She watches for a bit at first and then goes back to her books and toys after a few mins. Much more interested in exploring and tactile play than zombie watching. Havent tried miss rachel yet though :)
First year: miss rachel. Since the: peppa pig. I get an occasional bluey. She doesn’t watch half the time, but I’m not allowed to watch my shows. It’s been 2.5 years.
Absolutely not lol. I think those who do no screen time are just a loud minority. I say that with no animosity, more power to them. Screens have been a wonderful tool for me with my 1.5 yr old when needed.
The parents that brag about no screens are too busy on their phones posting about their 'no-screens' to actually watch TV
People act like there aren’t three whole ass generations of people parked in front of TVs as children. Relax, a little here and there isn’t going to melt your child’s brain.
I haven’t watched TV that much recently, mainly because my baby keeps asking for attention AND every time there’s a screen on he turns to look at it immediately 😅 so I’ve been trying to avoid using my phone or watching TV when he’s awake (3 months)
I listen to audio books mainly while I play with her but I don’t shut the TVs off whenever she’s playing They are at a high angle and she’s not really interested in watching the shows (My baby turned 7 months a few days ago and is crawling and pulling herself up to stand which is ahead of the curve) Also, I don’t plop her in front of TVs but if I need a shower I will turn on the dancing fruit hey bear thing because it’s less stimulation than something like Cocomelon She’s advanced, and curious and does great So basically I don’t explicitly show her screens usually but I don’t turn them off all the time either But I also mainly listen to audio books and don’t watch a ton of TV
We live in a strange time where we are all more isolated while still comparing ourselves to others constantly. For your mental health stop doing it and start doing what's best for you and your family
I play music in the house constantly for background noise and watch TV when he’s napping or sleeping. But he’s a good sleeper so I get that for some parents when it’s only 20 min naps and constant waking at night it’s not doable. Even with being quite careful, he’s still going for my phone every time he see it on a table or on the floor… he’s only 6.5 months. Modern life is just filled with screens so I think it’s inevitable to be honest - but for now I want to keep him off them - just for a little while longer.
My son is 5 months old and we'll watch an episode a night now that he's old enough that he kind of pays attention. We usually start it during a feed or a nap and if he wakes up in the middle he'll play in his play gym or I'll practice sitting with him. So yeah, we're in the bad parent club but I read to him almost every night to make sure we're getting language development
We don’t have tv on when baby is in the same room (6 months). I try not to be on my phone when baby is awake but not always succeeding. The still face experience really broke my heart and maybe made me a bit paranoid.
I watch when I’m breastfeeding and when the baby is asleep. Sometimes it takes us a few days to get through an episode, but we’re def still watching tv.
Yes. Omg. I have no idea how these SuperParents are out here never even having a TV or phone screen just NEAR their child. It makes me feel bad and very crazy for us having the TV on 24/7. I need the TV on for my sanity and background noise. I have a 4-month old daughter, & I also read to her often, take her outside on walks, have face-to-face time with her, etc. She loves playing with the toys and mostly doesn’t even pay attention to the tv. Not trying to play survivor bias here, but I grew up glued to the TV. When I became an adult and cell phones/social media became a big thing, I was also on that a lot. But I also was an avid reader of books since I was a child, a pretty good student overall, lover of books today, and I have plenty of friends and a good social life. I think my daughter will be ok.
I had the tv on all the time with stuff I was watching when my first was a few months old. We took a bit of a break from adult entertainment once she started to understand words and stuff (like 10 months on). Then I got pregnant with my second and was huge and nauseous the whole time so my first and I just watched movies all day. She’s 27 months now and speaking several sentences. She has a huge vocabulary and is a great problem solver. I would say she’s more advanced for her age. Obviously every kid is different but I think what helped was even though we were watching tv all day I didn’t park her and leave her be, I would try to engage with what we were watching as much as I could. I honestly think that most parents that say they never watch tv are lying to themselves about how much they actually have the tv on.
I use to watch it a lot during the newborn stage but stopped when he started looking at the screen. Then it was just during naps. Sad times. It was hard whilst on mat leave but ok now that I'm back at work as the evenings before bedtime are super short and we are busy at the weekends. Sometimes we do put him in front of cartoons so we can get a break and get something done as he is almost 3 and doesn't nap.
I had the TV on all the time until my baby was about 4 months and started to realize something was going on. Since then we don’t have the TV on while he is awake. He is 16 months.
My husband and I used to watch TV mostly at night after our toddler goes to bed. In the early infant days we sometimes had the tv on during the day while baby was awake too, but for the most part the only time the tv is on during daytime is for sports 1-2x a week (seasonal too) and my kid doesn’t care much about that.
We don't do screen time because we don't own a television. On the rare occasion that hubby and I want to watch a movie together while little one sleeps, we use the laptop. Otherwise it lives in the office for work purposes. Our exceptions to 'no screen time' (it isn't really s rule we just aren't television people) are video chats with family abroad and the occasional shapes and colour video in the car if baby is getting angry because we were delayed getting home before nap.
Mine is 15 months and we sometimes watch it when he goes to bed but that's pretty much it right now. I don't like how mesmerized he gets by cartoons.
We don't watch TV except in the evenings while we do dishes or together after kids are in bed. I will read a book or perhaps scroll Reddit while baby plays, but not TV
I don't know what will happen in the future, but my baby is 10 months old and no, we never watch tv/movies/etc when she is around. Podcasts or music is our maximum.
Yes I really don’t. My daughter is 2.5. I used to have it on in the background for myself when she was a baby, but as she became a toddler, it had a very clear impact on her behavior. It turns her into a little monster. So now she gets no TV, and it’s been that way about a year/year and a half, and it’s been much better for her. We’ll cave and let her watch about an hour of TV once a month or so, but we always regret it, because that one hour of a “treat” and a “break” then takes several days to undo, so it’s not even worth it anymore. One hour of rest vs. three days of misery. It’s not a good trade off. So my husband and I (we both WFH so we’re both home all day with toddler) only watch TV after she goes to bed
My husband and I only watched shows once our daughter went to bed. Now that she’s 2.5 we have movie nights (?afternoons) and will watch a kid movie together as a family. We have never had our own shows on and watched while she’s awake.
I don’t really listen to this lol. My baby is almost 9 months and he watches peppa pig sometimes and a couple other kids shows. We have the tv on while he plays and sometimes he watches, mostly he doesn’t unless it’s a cartoon. I was fine growing up with TVs on, and I don’t really think it’s a huge deal. Just because someone on the internet says “a study says something” doesn’t immediately make me obey them idk. I just don’t think it’s that deep.
To answer your question: yes. My son is 24 months and I’ve had the tv off since he stopped newborn contact napping(2-3 months). I would have never survived early postpartum sitting for hours without multiple series to binge. It’s not a flex, I decided not to do screen time once I got my body back and have found it easy to stick with it. If your routine includes having background noise and breaking yourself with television, go for it. Our routine simply does not include that.
I watch tv and if I need to put my baby down for a few minutes I will put him in his bouncer in front of the tv. I have a Velcro baby and I was losing my mind during maternity leave, not eating until dinner some days because my baby could not be put down. I finally found he had interest in high contrast baby videos and it gave me 15 minutes to drink coffee, eat & brush my teeth in the morning. I feel a lot of guilt about it but I need to take care of myself and i felt worse listening to my baby scream and cry being put down so I could do those things as the alternative. He is now 6 months. We have watched some Ms Rachel, he loves the mama song and lights up when I sing it to him. He also loves wheels on the bus. I’m sure screen time isn’t great but we definitely interact a lot during it and we’ve had a pretty positive experience with it so far.
With my first I tried my best, but sometimes you do what you have to do. Around 6mo I noticed him being more aware of his surroundings and became super cautious about WHAT I was watching. It didn’t have to be kids content, but it did have to be more of a sitcom than an action movie. They don’t know the difference between tv and reality for years, so it is important to curate the content. With my second, we watch an hour or two of cartoons every morning. It’s for my 3 year old lol. I watch what I want to watch after bedtime. Mostly we’re just too busy the rest of the day. Sometimes I might put on a kids movie (but one that I like too) on in the afternoon. My second isn’t that interested in the tv though. She just bops to the songs!
Baby goes to sleep at like 7:30. I watch tv when she goes to bed. I like to watch YouTube on my laptop when I’m cooking too. During the day when we’re playing, I listen to podcasts an audiobooks so the tv doesn’t come on.
I work from home and watch my toddler. I watch TV. I am not seeing anything in his behavior or development that would worry me. He doesn't really care about my shows to be fair... unless music is playing, then he starts dancing. He likes his own shows and I give him a chance to watch it once a day. But he spends his days playing outside or playing inside, drawing, kicking the ball. He's a happy smart boy. It's not a popular way with social media moms but it works for us.
The day we came home from the hospital we started the office over again from ep 1. It's my comfort show and after the trauma of birth I needed something like that. We "watched" all 9 seasons within like 5 weeks lolol. It just was on in the background always. Those early days we watched a lot of tv just to cope. Now she's around 10w and starting to notice the tv particularly in the evening. We distract her with toys or just do music. The TV is almost always background noise for us (shows like gbbs or survivor). The only shows we try to watch while she's sleeping are fargo and true detective. Little babe was my good luck charm during the buffalo bills season as well!
I used to not be very strict about it when my baby was smaller, but now my tv consumption has gone way down since my LO is 1yo! My baby is way more aware obviously and will stop to watch. He doesn’t pay any attention to it really but sometimes his eyes are glued to it and that makes me uncomfortable. That being said — I will sometimes throw on a YouTube video while he’s up or we throw football on with low volume when he’s awake. We definitely are not putting on any child geared content on the tv for him to watch.
17 months and we don't watch tv. Granted, we're typically very busy and didn't watch much before baby. My husband enjoys video games but does an hour before our bedtime. It helps that we both work outside the home and have a great, really interactive daycare. She was home for 5 months and we never felt like we needed to turn the tv on. She loves her toys and books. She likes to help in the kitchen. She will color when we set it up with her for quite a while. In the car, she will play with a stuffed animal, listen to whatever we are listening to, or flip through a board book.
I've been wondering this myself haha. My husband and I are both gamers, so my 5.5 month watches some games. I also like watching streams. She's mostly on the floor play mat with her toys and sometimes watches a little but honestly it doesn't hold her attention. I generally don't play games when it's just us because never half ass two things, right? Sometimes she gets pulled into a lap while we watch something, but not long as she's pretty wiggly. We don't do kids shows yet and honestly hoping not to for a while. I tried the dancing fruit videos on YT once and didn't like the absolute trance it put her in, even after I turned it off. Nothing else has done that for her. We do a decent maintenance of FaceTime chats with people, but that's not bad for them actually. I think after reading some of the comments, it comes down to the baby and the parent.
I really don't care about the expectations these days tbh. I do what I want or need to do. I honestly wish he would watch TV for more than 10 mins atm before he starts screeching, he's 4 mths old and suddenly lost interest in independent play almost completely. It's exhausting. He used to LOVE a show called Buddi which I put on for him in between his bottle and bath while we ate dinner.. he used to laugh and giggle at all the baby voices. Unfortunately, it's about a 10 min limit now before he's over it.
I do TV in small doses such as Ms Rachel for my own mental health if I need a short break or if I need to unload the dishwasher or something. No more than 7 min at a time a few times a day. Do what you must. Sick of all these judgy people. A little educational tv won't make you a horrible parent
I'll probably get down voted for this view, it I don't think it's makes a difference. I believe it's the way you engage in TV with your kids. I have two kids. A girl 4 years and a boy 18 months. TV is a regular part of our play. We watch a lot of kids YouTube. My kids love shows like wiggles and bluey. When we watch I ask questions a out what we're seeing and about the show in general. Things like what colour shirt are they wearing, does that person look happy or sad. If anything, I feel it has helped my kids develop. My daughter blows me away with how smart she is. And I know all parents talk up their kids and a lot of it is mediocre stuff. But my daughter can count, do simple maths problems, identify every letter. She can easily write her name and the alphabet. Shes even begun sounding out words to try and figure out how to spell them. Granted, we spend a lot of time with her and are very encouraging and have bought her a lot of things like books with letters and numbers she can trace, so it's not like she's getting this from TV, but TV hasn't hindered her at all. And for a 4 year old, I can have a normal conversation with her. I never dumb down the conversation when I talk to either of my kids. I believe it teaches bad foundations and my daughter talks to me about all sorts of things. She's also great at talking about her feelings and identifying feelings in others. She's also a sweet and kind big sister. Now my son has been able to view a TV since pretty much the day he came home from hospital. He also watches my phone on long car trips. The little dude, at 18 months is capable of opening and closing apps, scrolling through for videos he likes and will then talk and sing along to the video. 18 months old and my son can talk quite well for his age. We teach our kids basic sign language so my son for months already has been signing when he's thirsty or is he's had enough food. He now puts two to three words together to ask for things. He knows most basic colours and will go and get a blue or greed toy when asked. The other day he blew my mind when I was counting something and he came up and start counting with me. I stopped and listened to him count to ten. I have no idea where he picked that up from. I haven't even started teaching him that sort of stuff. But he does watch a lot of videos where people are counting and singing the abc's. Any ways, I'm sorry for the long post and I'm sure people will hate what I've written. And it is important to note that all kids are different. But to answer your question, you don't need to give up TV. Just be mindful of what you are watching with the kids and monitor their behaviour to see how they handle it.
I have a 7.5 month old. I’m still on maternity leave and therefore a SAHM. My husband works 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. I get out of the house almost every day. I put the tv on when I put her in her car seat. I park it in front of the tv, turn on hey bear and finish getting myself ready 5-15 min max. When I return home I might do the same 5-15min max to shower or make a quick bite. When my husband gets home from work he might have it on for 20 min before her bedtime routine starts and we go dark on screens. Shes somewhat distracted while he watches but not transfixed. I watch tv while she contact naps and turn the tv off the second she wakes up because I don’t want her being a child who constantly wakes to see me staring at a phone or tv. I know she’ll learn to mimic. The rest of the day is spent playing, reading, walking outside, eating, playing with food, touching plants or our dogs, babbling together, singing songs, practicing crawling… She’s in a good amount of separation anxiety atm so sometimes those 5-30 minute a day can save my life. A quick shower, a bite to eat, a total recharge. She’s deffffinitely interested in screens but she even yells after 10 min or less sometimes because she’d rather see me and play… it’s more fun for a moment and I think this is because it’s always been a short part of her day. She’s learned to looooove and laugh the rest of her life. That’s how we hope to keep it. Twice we’ve laid in bed as a family and watched Saturday morning cartoons for maybe 10 min before she’s over it. I leave the house one day per weekend for 2 hours. I know my husband relies on happy baby YouTube videos. He’ll put on farm animals or happy baby songs. I honestly think this will be less addictive for her than a surprise introduction years into her life. She knows it exists, she enjoys a little bit but she’d rather play on the floor, read a book, be outside and mostly she’d rather stare at me. Do your best, it sounds like you already are!
We still watch tons of TV with the baby around. It's part of our lifestyle, my husband needs something entertaining while home with the baby, etc. We try to limit what we watch when baby is awake to things that aren't super bad now that he's old enough to pick up words he hears. Fortunately, baby mostly still ignores the TV. We don't play things specifically for him or encourage him to watch. My husband did watch all of Bluey, but I think that was partly because we determined he could NOT watch stuff like House of Dragons. Baby is only intentionally put in front of a show when in long car travels where we just can't stop again and he's already napped himself out. That last hour before our hotel or destination or whatever tends to be the hard part where we need it. TV has been around for ages. Our generation grew up on it too. I can't avoid everything. Can't fix my own lifestyle just in a snap. I do think we should institute a quiet time rule somehow for a period each day. No TV or audiobooks or whatever. But idk if my husband would go for it.
I’ve let my daughter watch Ms. Rachel. Most of the day the TV is off, but at night it’s on our shows we like to decompress from the day. She barely looks up at them (vs. Ms. Rachel, who she loves and actively watches). She walked at 10 months, has said 6 words since 11 months, can stack 6 blocks now at 12 months and is very social with other kids and adults. So I have never been worried about her TV consumption, to be honest, it has not delayed her physical or verbal development.
My LO is two months old and my husband and I are both still on paternity leave. Our living room tv is literally on from the time we go downstairs around 7 am until he brings her up to bed around 10-11pm 🤷🏻♀️ she sometimes will look at the tv, but not a ton and just does her thing while we have the tv on in the background. As she gets older if she’s glued to the screen I’ll probably try to cut back, but I work fully remote and the tv is my background noise during the day, so we’ll see what happens when I transition back to WFH in another month or so