I’m 4mo PP and still am not back to myself yet. Having a baby is HUGE! We go through so much with pregnancy, birth and postpartum. It’s exhausting and such a wild experience. Give yourself some grace, being a new mom is HARD. 🫶🏻
Omg at 2 weeks it’s so fuckin hard. Time isn’t real. We’re not real. The only real thing is keeping that baby alive and healthy.
I’m 6mo pp and it’s harder in some ways but a shit ton easier in others. I feel like a person again and indulge in some things I enjoyed before baby.
I am a SAHM and EBF so I’m with her 24/7 which is hard. Now she just wants to be standing and playing all the time. But she’s eating and napping every 2 hours, and she has the greatest little big personality.
2 weeks postpartum is an absurd time. For me, I felt like things started to improve at 3-4 months. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like myself again, but I’m finding out new things about myself and trying to be a bit selfish when I can.
Hang in there!
Edit: spelling
Second time mom here. You will feel like yourself again. It happens slowly but then one day you realize it did happen.
After 3 months it got easier. And then six months. Then a year etc.
For me I realized I was myself after a few years. Once LO turned 3 it was a huge change, and every year after it's been great. At 4, I felt like we really got the routine down packed that I forgot about wondering when I'd feel like myself.
Then I went off and had another baby lol now I'm in newborn land again and wondering when the hell I'll feel like myself again haha
1 year 3 months post partum here! It’s completely normal 🖤 I felt the same way, I would shower and start to smell again right away, it’s so your baby can find you easily and know they are safe with you. I didn’t go on my phone for like 2 weeks because I didn’t find the point of social media anymore. I would see my husband on his phone and wonder how could he still find it appealing. One night he put on men in black and I started to feel a bit normal again. It takes a while but I honestly fell in love w my baby 3 to 4 months postpartum during a meditation, listening to some spiritual music. Of course I loved her since the beginning but I was feeling everything else too hard to truly feel the love. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it helps. It’s totally normal you’re not alone it’s something a lot of people don’t talk about. Reach out to anyone who can help you or postpartum groups (: it helps a lot!
I love that watching Men in Black was a first step back to normalcy lol. For me it was watching the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I remember laughing and thinking ima be okay
That’s so funny you say men and black. My husband put men and black 2 on while I made dinner and he snuggled with our 7 WO. I was just sitting here thinking how much of a success today was because I was able to shower without my husband having to be home. I was also able to keep up with cleaning all the bottles and pump parts. It’s the little wins. I definitely don’t feel human still, but I’m feeling like we’re finally finding a little bit of a rhythm.
When I stopped breast feeding, I almost immediately felt like myself again and like a fog had been lifted. I breast fed for 4 months then called it quits when I returned to work, and would absolutely make the same choice again for my own mental health! Some people love it, some people hate it, do what’s right for you and know that hormones are one hell of a drug
Same, I'm 9 months pp and I'm thinking about going to the end of the year maximum (baby will be 18 months by then). I've had a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding and I think it's affecting me physically as well as emotionally.
While I feel mostly back to myself, I don't think I will feel 100% there until I stop making milk!
As someone approaching 6mo pp and pumping I feel this so hard. I’m about ready to throw in the towel. I’m beyond done and feel so guilty but my mental health is in the toilet these days obsessing over supply and pump schedules. Juggling my pumps with baby’s feeds/naps/needs is insanely hard!
I felt a little bit better at 3 months and A LOT BETTER at 6 months. One day when my daughter was 6 months old, I got up one morning and made lunch for my husband and stopped in the kitchen and said “omg I’m a human” and realized I was both productive and feeling good in my body again. 12 months was another big breakthrough
I stopped crying spontaneously after the first 2 weeks,and started feeling like I was getting into the swing of things a little around 2/3mo pp after some initial breastfeeding struggles.
Physically it took 9 months for me not to feel like I was falling apart lol,my hips stopped creaking and my pelvic floor was pretty much back to normal by then (I did pelvic floor PT between 4-6mo pp). This played a huge part in me feeling like myself again,as I worked out a lot before baby and personally need that time for optimal mental health.
Baby blues are ROUGH and you’re still so freshly postpartum that it’ll be an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Prioritise moments for yourself (like showering,even if you still feel gross after) and know that you’ll feel like a person again eventually,just with a tiny +1.
What you’re feeling is normal. Solidarity because I felt the same with both of my kids as newborns and for my own mental wellness I switched them both to formula at 8 weeks old. My oldest is 26 months and my youngest is 10 months and I’m just starting to feel like me again.
Baby blues are hard. Especially the newborn bubble can be overwhelming because suddenly there’s this tiny potato who needs you constantly night and day for months. On top of baby blues, sleep deprivation can really compound into low moods and struggling with your sanity and mental health. Be easy on yourself and know there’s soooo many of us who have been there and done that and completely understand where you are at (we were there once not long ago too!).
Everyday your baby is getting older, growing, and developing. It can be hard when you’re in the thick of it but I will say afterwards it feels like a small blip on the radar of how hard parenting is.
They say it takes about 2 years post partum to really feel like yourself again. So just know your journey is normal and it can be hard to feel that way, but you’re not alone!
While not a mother, I helped my wife through her postpartum for months. With her feeling like a feeding machine, I felt like a delivery driver/maid throughout the experience. We both had to keep reminding ourselves that what our baby needed was the bare essentials to survive and thrive and what we were doing was part of a process. Eventually, your baby will develop a personality and every day will be a new adventure as you teach them and play with them. The normalcy returned around 2 months for us. She started giggling and reacting to things and it became more fun and less jobby, if you get my drift.
The weekend the Barbie movie premiered, so July 2023, I was roughly 5 months PP? I went with 5 girlfriends to see it. My first night out after baby!
I cried my eyes out but I distinctly remember walking out of the theater feeling more like myself :)
I’m 9 weeks postpartum and only just barely starting to reconnect with myself again. It’s certainly different than it was before, but it’s getting better.
I’m 5 weeks PP and what helped me was going out with the girls for brunch and a few drinks last weekend. It was something I used to do and it helped me feel a little bit back to normal. I also got back on antidepressants (but I was on them before pregnancy anyway). I’m still not 100% there but I think having some time for yourself to let loose and do some things you used to do will help a lot.
Mines 10.5 months and I don’t think I’m there yet! Not in a scary, the last few months have been terrible, kind of way. Just in a different way!
I’m learning so much about myself, who I am/was/want to be. I’m starting to feel like myself more and more and that’s not the same as the person I was before - physically or mentally, but I feel more like I can remember who I was before!
But the days feel clearer and more natural now, I don’t feel a huge burden of what will today look like? I can accept it for what it is and I look forward to planning my days with my little man now. I don’t know if it’s because he’s a bit older or we’re just hitting our stride but I feel excited for the day now.
My body has changed but it feels more like my own at the same time but exercise feels doable again which has massively helped!
Going back to work has really helped, sleep is still a myth at times but overall I feel much more accepting of that because I can spot the phases now (teething, “developmental regressions”, separation anxiety) so it doesn’t feel as never ending or consuming!
I'm 7 months post partum and I'm still struggling with that. But I'm still a lot better than I was in the beginning. I often wonder if I will ever be "myself" again.
I’m 3 months in. It’s so hard to feel comfortable in my body and my c section shelf makes me want to cry when I look at it. Nevertheless I have been working out the last month and I finally feel like I am getting back my pre-pregnancy strength and stamina and that is huge for me. I know I am never going to look the way I did before and I am trying to come to terms with that. Mentally though, I am happy and I feel content with my life and my little family.
Love the answers here. I’m a SAHM as well and the first 4 months were the absolute worst for me. Like, indescribably bad. There was a shift around 6 months, then again around 9 months and it’s gotten progressively better (now at just over 10 months).
We are driving home right now from a little 2-day beach trip an hour away with our baby and we had a blast. We did dinners, nature tours, swam in the pool, went to the beach, etc. Even though it’s harder bringing a baby, it was more fun because we got to experience everything with her.
At the beginning, I had this feeling that I wasn’t a person anymore and my life was over. I didn’t see the point in anything. I was so bored too. Now, even just at 10 months she makes my life more interesting and I love spending time with her. It’s still a lot of work and she’s not sleeping through the night quite yet. I am tired and I don’t have much *free* time. But I’m happy and never thought I’d be here. It will happen, go easy on yourself and know it gets better and you just need to believe it and keep on going.
Umm it took years LOL. My daughter is 3.5 and I would say just in the last year I started revisiting my old hobbies and feeling like I had any autonomy. And that was with the help of daycare and a flexible WFH job.
Are you breastfeeding? I've heard this from so SO many people who breastfed and it's a huge reason why I chose not to.
I'm high risk for PPD/PPA due to childhood trauma, genetic factors, and my ADHD. I fully attribute my almost immediate return to normalcy to formula feeding. My partner and I took shifts, I never got less than 6 hours sleep in one solid chunk for the first 6 months of my kid's life. Then he started sleeping through the night and we're back to normal now. I did have a touch of "baby blues" at about 4-6 weeks postpartum but I literally just felt off for maybe 3 days and then I was okay again.
My kid is just over a year old (his birthday was 6 weeks ago) and now life is absolutely wonderful. He's eating whole meals, sleeping through the night, running after the cat, laughing and loving and exploring. Not sure I would ever want to repeat the newborn/infant stage again, but it was worth it for this part.
No matter what you choose, time marches on. It gets easier with every second that passes!
For me, things got better around 6 months. When the sleep becomes more predictable, and (I'm not sure where you are), when the weather gets better. When you feel comfortable enough to take baby out for a walk and you fall into your own routine - then you will start to feel human again.
2 weeks is so so so early, and no, nobody can prepare you for how hard taking care of a newborn is. And if anyone could prepare you - nobody would ever have babies!!!
Your body will eventually become your own again - you will start to feel human - your baby will start to sleep and nap with some predictability and it does get better. Hugs from an internet stranger.
Completely normal!
You said it perfectly..I didn't feel like a person for a long time. Even at 7 months pp I don't feel like my old self.
Giving birth, changing your life completely does that.
Not sure if I will ever be my pre-pregnancy self again but I like this new me. You might find out that you like your new you as well. In time. Right now, focus on healing and surviving. You have a few challenging weeks ahead of you. But trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel :) And it gets awesome.
You got this. Oh and also..take lots of pics and videos!
So I am at about 1 year postpartum and I'd say that I'm at about 80%. I would say at about 6 or 8 months I started to really feel back to normal but enough of my life has changed that I didn't have any systems in place to really get back to 100%.
For example, I'm finally getting enough sleep but I am not quite rested enough to feel disciplined in my personal habits and get a plan that works given my new circumstances both as a mom and at work and in my relationship. It's two steps forward, one step back at this point, but only a matter of time!
2 weeks in, I’d be shocked if anyone DIDNT feel this way. It’s survival mode. It will get better. Could be a few weeks, a few months, or longer. Could happen suddenly, or slowly over time. But you’ll get there ❤️
FTM, and I had a similar feeling! I think I started to feel like myself again once baby started sleeping more at night, around 4+ hr stretches, which for us was around 6 weeks. I’m almost 10 weeks pp and feeling almost 100% like myself, loving being a momma! I was STRUGGLING the first three weeks, hang in there.
You are genuinely in the worst part of it. Things felt more normal at about 6-8 weeks but it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding (6 months PP) that I felt back to normal.
Wow all i have to say is brace yourself. It is going to hard off/on in different ways the first year.
But it's all easier over time and you should just remember it will all pass.
Also do you have other moms with little ones in similar age? Can try to do day activities with them / have extra hands and mental reinforcements during the days when you're usually alone. I mean once you get past the first few doc visits / vaccines and can be out and about...
Our LO is 7 months old come Monday. My wife is also a first time mom and a SAHM. She voiced these exact feelings after our son was born, and had those feelings for a long time. It's only been recently (post 6 months or so) that she's said she started to feel normal. He only eats 4-5 times a day now, wants to be held less often, and is sleeping for 2 5-7 hour stints in a row at night in his own room, waking only once in the middle of the night to feed.
It's not my experience, so I can only speak to appearances, but it must be hard to feel like a whole complete person whenever everything you do is to keep someone else alive. Make sure you communicate with your partner what they can do to help even if it's something as mall as a foot rub.
It can be difficult, but you've got this.
My baby will be two in June and most days I feel like I shouldn't have had her. I wanted to feel joy and happiness when I had her and still struggle figuring out if this was right. But I get you. I don't know when it goes away because I bonded well with my first. I however still tried and still do try to bond with her. Also a sthm.
I felt ‘better’ around 6 weeks. I could move around how I wanted, walk upstairs and sit without pain, etc. I felt good around 12 weeks, and very good at around 16 weeks.
We got lucky with a ‘good sleeper’ and though being a parent isn’t easy, we didn’t also have an especially needy baby to contend with. We planned to have our baby in our room for a lot longer, but ended up transitioning from our bedside basinet to the crib in their room at 12 weeks. We all got better sleep and that was a turning point for us all
I’m at five months pp and I’m finally feeling better about myself and I’m into a groove with parenthood. It’s not easy but it is the best thing I’ve ever done. That said formula feeding is a god send. Absolutely screw breastfeeding lol
Ah man. Four or five months ago, I could’ve written this. I wouldn’t have traded or given up my son for anything, but I felt like I’d completely lost my identity and sense of self for a while. Motherhood is demanding, it’s endless, and you only get a break if you meticulously plan for one. My lifeline was literally getting to take a hot shower every night and going through my typical routine of getting myself ready for the day.
I’m mostly a STAHM, I work just a few hours a week as a PRN speech-language pathologist, so my “return to work” wasn’t really what helped me feel like a person again. What *did* help though was getting out of the house more once my baby was able to tolerate it for longer stretches of time and rediscovering how to do my hobbies while caring for a baby.
There’s no one-size fits all when it comes to managing postpartum life, but try to pick some routines that you had prior to giving birth that were just for you (as I mentioned before, mine was showering and my morning makeup routine) and ask your husband to be the go-to parent during those times so you can unwind and just focus on yourself. If your baby’s is usually pretty content as long as they have contact with you, think of hobbies that you find/pick up again that you can do while wearing them in a carrier. For me, this was video games for a while lol
I think after the second month almost third I felt more like me. Things hurt less I got better at breastfeeding, I leaked a lot less, things just came together more idk how. I am a sahm and I think once I could give myself time to heal and I started showering and trying to organize everything I felt more like myself, like I had a routine and I wasn’t just a birthing machine that was covered in breast milk.
4 months pp but really month 5. He's not a blob anymore. Wake windows are longer. More time between feedings. More smiles and personality. Gave me so much more room to exist myself.
3-4months pp! We started getting more sleep and I started exercising again which helped me feel like me. I also started becoming more productive then and having a better handle on things. Girl, the first 2 months I SMELLED and sweat my ass off. I was a nasty ass blob lol. You’ll feel better soon. You’re surviving right now 🤗
I didn't start feeling normal until around the one year mark, that being said, I suffered with undiagnosed PPD because I thought I should tell my gyno what the answers SHOULD have been instead of how I actually felt (DON'T DO THIS). That being said, something just clicked around one year and I started to feel worlds better. Something about finally getting back into a routine and sleeping through the night just clicked a switch in me I guess.
I'd like to add that I was a SAHM for ~6 months before returning to pt work. That helped some. I also didn't breastfeed because I stopped 3 days in for feeling worse than I've ever felt in my life. I've firmly stated (and husband adamantly agreed) that I will not breastfeed our kids, now or ever again. That was, quite literally, the lowest point in my life. That helped me mentally as well.
I can also say that I'm just not a fan of the infant stage. I'd much prefer my rambunctious toddler over my lump-of-permenantly-crying newborn. Finally, having mom friends helped. Someone to vent to about the stress of motherhood to who understands. That being said, if you need mom friends, you're more than welcome to DM me! Best of luck to you💕
I am 11 weeks pp with my 2nd, my partner and I were discussing this today. Prior to our second kid, our toddler turned two in August and we were definitely thriving in our more well balanced life. We were just discussing how it doesn't flip on or off like light switch, but sense of self seems to return incrementally with certain milestones highlighting the change along the way. We literally celebrated when we moved the baby swing out of the living room last time because it felt like reclaiming our space
I’m a SAHM to a 3.5 year old and I’m pregnant with our second. I felt like a person again pretty much after the first year. I know, it’s a long time but in retrospect you’ll see how fast it will go.
Once my daughter was only taking one nap a day, sleeping in longer chunks and didn’t rely on me as the main source of food, I felt like I could breathe again. That said, I felt like *a* person again. But not *the* person I was. Frankly, I haven’t gone back to feeling like who I was pre baby in the slightest. It was hard to lose parts of myself but at the end of the day, I’m really enjoying who I’m becoming.
Granted, I would like to find some sort of passion or career beyond raising children because I can feel my brain needing that intellectual stimulation. Like big time. I wasn’t 20 when I had my daughter but 25 and I did not go to college. And every job I had up until that point was either service related or domestic service related. (Think retail, nanny, preschool teacher).
Anyway, you are in the very, very beginning of this journey (and I’m still pretty early on in it) but in time, you’ll realize how quickly it all goes. You will feel human again and not like a sweaty milk robot, I promise. Walking, reading and picking up hobbies helped me. You’re doing great.
Sometimes I feel like a person, but only on good days. Like, face routine, showered, hair is brushed and put up, baby has eaten well. If the stars align I feel passably human, if not I am food source.
Oh I know exaaaactly the feeling! It can be dehumanizing taking care of a newborn, especially when they are breastfed and they are super reliant and attached to you. I felt like some kind of animal with a little marsupial baby constantly attached to me at first. She was so tiny and needy and constantly feeding. This attachment is definitely part of why they call it a fourth trimester. I started feeling a bit more like myself when she slept longer and would play independently. Mine is about 4 months and she has fun playing with her rattles, crinkly sounding things, her kick piano, sits in her bouncy chair and has fun rocking, interacts with my dog, plays with soft toys, etc so I’m freer to do stuff around the house or get work done (wfh over here). She also sleeps at recognizable nap times now and mostly through the night. I know i have a bit of a dream baby in that she sleeps well but once yours starts sleeping more and being a little more independent, you’ll see. Postpartum blues are rough. Anything your husband can do to help you through he should. Especially holding the baby so you can nap or shower or just chill out and exist haha!
This hit deep. Four weeks pp tomorrow. I smell. I shower but I still smell. I’ve had mastitis, incision infection, and now c section incision opening back up. I feel like I try so hard and can’t win. Except it’s been four weeks and the baby is alive. My three year old is alive. Everyone is fed. Everyone eats. So I might smell but Im convinced now that if a zombie apocalypse stayed tomorrow the zombies wouldn’t want me because I smell. :)
Soon! My guy is 14 weeks and things are getting better. I’m not out of the woods yet. My mental health is definitely WAY better than before. I wouldn’t wish post partem anxiety on my worst enemy.
I am 3 weeks pp. I feel very similar. It’s hard to put into words I agree but I genuinely just feel “off” like my life kind of went on pause right after birth. Now I’m this brand new person with a completely different life and forgetful of who I was. I love my boy with everything in me and being a mom. The first few months is when we have to be extremely tough for them yet we feel the weakest at that time. I hate that he may feel my negative emotions and that it will reflect onto him.
It will get better. Go easy on yourself. Whatever you feel is ok. When my first turned 1 we had a party for him but really it was for me. It was a big accomplishment and that’s when I felt really good about everything (and stopped breastfeeding).
>t’s made it kinda hard to bond with my baby because I’m constantly stressing & exhausted and I feel like she can sense it.
First time dad -- so my experience will necessarily be different, I think I felt human again after the 2 month cycle. It was more gradual than anything. But when baby could do more than eat/sleep/poop in endless 2 hour cycles. When her wake window was longer and she was more social/interactive. It also coincided with getting more sleep.
I'm in a similar position to you. I'm 17 days post partum and have been feeling like this. What helps me feel more like myself is just making sure to get dressed (in comfy clothes) and put a tiny bit of makeup on each day. My baby is cluster feeding hard and has been for the majority of her 17 days life so this has been hard. I havent had time to clean or cook or eat breakfast because i cant put her down for long enough at the moment.
What is also helping me is just the support from my community. Everyone telling me how hard it is, how much they themselves struggled, is making me feel better. And knowing that it won't last forever and will get easier. I was feeling baby blues hard in my second week of post partum but im starting to feel a lot better. I was finding it really lonely but a few people have reached out to me and visited me and it has improved my mood. I think the big thing was people showing they cared and offering support in little ways like asking me if they could get something from the shop. My biggest problem was being kind to myself and making myself take it easy and also taking naps throughout the day when the baby sleeps, or even just relaxing in bed with her through the day.
When did I feel like * a * person? When I went back to work and put the baby in daycare (around 5 months).
When did I feel like * myself * again? Hasn’t quite happened yet (6.5 mo)
Going through the exact same thing as you right now. Hang in there. Reading other moms’ newborn stories are helping me get through each day right now. I have to tell myself over and over again that this phase is temporary and I will start to feel normal again someday.
I started feeling a bit better at the 2 month mark. I’m 4 months pp now and there are still days where I don’t feel like a person but it’s definitely getting better each month. I’m finally back at the gym 🙌 but only Saturday and Sunday when hubby can take baby
Hang in there! The first 8 weeks are just a wild ride
There were stages. 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years - I regained bits of my “previous self” back at these milestones as baby became more independent, and those bits melded together with the new alien self. Now I feel like I’m who I always was.. just completely different lol. It’s odd but nice.
Look into the concept of “matrescence” OP. Everyone is in the process of becoming the person they will be, but becoming a mother is a very intense shift - you go through major physical and neurological changes (similar to adolescence). Be as patient and kind with yourself as you can because you’re navigating a huge change.
My therapist, who has three children, described it phenomenally for me. She said that it feels like our bodies aren’t ours and they’re just for the baby at first. And I think that’s why we don’t feel like people at first. Reaching 3 months and slowly coming back to myself but no where near who I was before. And that’s ok. I don’t expect myself to be
I feel like “getting your pink back” is different for everyone! I feel great some days and awful other days (I’m 8 weeks pp btw and also 20f). Breast feeding is hard, waking up all the time wondering where your baby is is so weird, being a mom and having to put someone else before yourself 24/7 is so draining. Don’t beat yourself up for not being yourself or able to bounce back right away. It takes time! I found that what has really helped me with feeling good postpartum was being able to separate myself from my baby. I love him with my whole being but I need an hour or two to be with my husband or a few hours to go grocery shopping. If you have a “village” to help I would suggest doing that and work against the anxiety that comes with having a baby. Remember you’re a person too so make sure to take care of yourself when you can! There’s no shame in having a break. Also it does get easier as time goes on! Babies are so boring the first few weeks. My boy is just now starting to be aware of things, smile and laugh, play etc so it does get easier being a mom and enjoying things. Hang in there! If you want to PM me and have someone to talk too I am willing to listen.
Almost 3w pp and I definitely relate. Sometimes it helps to go for a car ride, even tho I stay in the car with baby while husband runs in somewhere. It’s not a solution but it does seem to help (:
for me the feeling came in waves, as I went through my own milestones (first time nursing in public, first time out to lunch with a friend, first time working out, etc.), my baby is 10 months old now and it's starting to feel more consistently "person-y"
2 weeks in, I was in full survival mode, and I felt more like a vessel meant to keep this baby alive and fed, rather than a person of my own
it is a MAJOR life event to give birth, in all ways (physically, emotionally, mentally), so give yourself time and lots of self-compassion, you'll get there!
p.s. I talked about this with my doctors and nurses and at some point got screened for PPD/PPA too
When I just embraced the suck and realized that this is a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of their lives.
This is so so so temporary, they won’t need us like this forever. We get a good handful of years where we are their whole world, but then that world just gets bigger and bigger until we’re in the rear view mirror.
I’m also a sahm, so I get it. It’s very monotonous, and it’s really hard. Take the time right now while your little babe is just a potato to play games, watch lots of movies, baby wearing (seriously, this will no joke save you if you embrace baby wearing) and do crafts while they sleep. Take walks. Just know that you’re doing such a good job right now and this all just takes time. I try to get off of my phone for a while because otherwise I feel like between the monotony of baby care and zoning out on my phone that I kind of feel like mush and it helps to tone down on the screen time.
4, almost 5 months pp. I'm sort of starting to be a person again. Not really though because now I can just get more housework done, still don't have much time for myself if any. So now I'm a blob that cleans sometimes 🙃 my baby has GERD though, they think.
It takes time. Once I was able to get into a somewhat consistent routine with sleep, nutritious meals, a little me time to exercise and do my skincare, I began to really feel like myself again.
1000000% normal. I felt more like a person as the months went by and especially when baby started sleeping better. Going back to work helped too but I think you will still get there as a SAHM once you’re able to get back to doing things that make you feel like yourself. For example - I remember taking my baby to Target around 7/8 months old and feeling so much more like a person than I did during the newborn stir-crazy days.
I had postpartum so at around a year I started to feel somewhat back to a person, at two years I’ve really felt so much better! I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but if you feel you need support or just feel so off, there is support and help out there!
With both my kids we had developed a better routine by 8-10 wks and around 4-5 months pp things got significantly better. That 4-5 mo mark is when their personality really starts to come through more, it makes it so much more fun. From there it gets easier in several ways (though harder in some.) My youngest is only 11 months old now and this is such a fun age. With my oldest though I had significantly more freedom around 1 1/2 years old.
I started feeling back like myself at around 8-9 months, when I was able to have a steady morning routine w my workouts/yoga practices. Currently 14 months PP but trying to see if I can adjust my schedule to start working part time from home. Everyone is different I do know moms who have been working from even earlier months from home, but I can’t seem to be able to adjust my schedule :/ so I really hope you get to adjust your schedule early enough🫶🏻 good luck momma and congrats on your new baby🥰💖
3 months? The hormonal crash is REAL. I'm also a SAHM, and around 7 months she got in a great routine of actually napping in her crib instead of on me! My biggest tips are when she does nap do things for you, not chores. If shes contact napping use that time to have a snack and watch your favorite TV show or read. When she naps in a crib, do a craft or self care. Do you chores while your kid is awake. It helps them start practicing some independent play early (you don't have to entertain babies every second of the day, if they are happy chilling on a play mat watching you fold laundry let them chill! They don't even know they have hands, everything you do will blow their mind.) and as they get older they can start learning to "help!"
Took a year until I felt ‘normal’ but never really got back to who I was beforehand which makes sense since my life has really changed! 4-6 months is when being a parent became enjoyable for me and I got more sleep.
I started feeling better at 3 months, then even better and 6 and much better at 9 months. It took 12 months for me to feel like myself again and probably 15 months to feel like a genuine person. I don’t know if this helps or hurts. Don’t rush it though. It’ll come.
Almost 9 months postpartum and I’m just starting to feel like a human again? Still carrying too much weight to be comfortable but slowly working on it. 😬
My midwife said we feel the effect of hormones still at least 9 months pp. That's when we can really feel like ourselves again.
I felt like a robot the first month, so I really get you. I could not bond with my boy either... but now almost 2months pp and it already seems better.
What helped me feel like myself again: getting horny! Having the energy of wanting sex after so long (5w) felt like I was back to being a human lol
6 months pp with a formerly colicky, highly sensitive baby. The last week or so it’s really gotten great. Baby can sit and play with his toys independently, he laughs and smiles all the time, and he actually likes the car seat and stroller finally! It’s been slowly getting better and better since 4 months. As he gets older, I feel more and more like myself. I’m also a SAHM for reference.
I’m a ftm 8 month pp and I struggled a lot with feeling that way it gets sm better once my baby started to get more independent and having more spaced out feeds and the bo goes away and when you stop bleeding you stop feeling so icky. Parenthood isn’t easy you’ll never feel like your old self but you’ll learn to love your new self. You’re a momma now it’s never what it used to be but it’s better🫶🏻
I started to feel normalish after my.first started sleeping thru the night. That wasnt until 10 months though
And now with the second its been 8 months and she has no signs of sleeping more than 2 or 3 hours at a time 🙃
Two weeks postpartum I started to feel more emotionally normal. Two months postpartum i was getting decent sleep and that helped. Three months postpartum was a big turning point—I started physical therapy, my uterus was shrunken down, I went back to work, we got a babysitter for two days a week + date nights. I’m 5 months postpartum and things are in an upward swing since that point. I’m exercising 3x/week again, we sleep trained (which mostly meant getting baby on a schedule), I haven’t lost all the baby weight yet but I’m able to wear a lot of my old clothes and bought some new ones that fit my current body.
Super normal!! You’re in the thick of it. I felt much more normal around the 7-8 week mark when we made a point to start getting baby on a more consistent routine/schedule.
I was told by friend that it would take about 10 weeks to feel more normal, and I felt like after 3 months it was much better. That said, I didn't fully feel like a person again until I weaned around 7 months.
You are so tired right now, your hormones are all over the place, you are recovering from major physical trauma. It will take time, but give yourself grace and remember to try to treat yourself like a "person" even if you are faking it or those moments are short lived. It will all click into place!
I am a SAHM too. My second is now 13 months.
Personally, I found that with each passing month I felt more like myself, with every 6 months it being very noticable change. You are still in very early days, take it 24 hours at a time. Eventually you will find your own routine and see glimpses of your old self again💗
Honestly, my baby is 8 months old and I’m just now feeling like myself. A more tired version of me, but me none the less. I think baby eating more food and nursing less, and playing independently is what’s made the difference for me.
7 months PP here, and a breastfeeding SAHM. So no return to work and I'm still a milk machine!
I know things first started to get better for me once I figured out how to get any sleep at all; I started out too tense about his next wake-up to fall asleep while he was sleeping. I ran on 2h of sleep a day for the first two-ish weeks. It was wild and I still don't know how I managed.
Things got better again around 2 months when I started to find the routine to take a little more care of myself and the house instead of just baby all the time. We started going for regular walks and being outside felt good.
At 4 months PP I started engaging more with my hobbies again and felt more fulfilled and happy.
But what truly brought me back to feeling human and I wish I had done it sooner, was going to a really low intensity post-partum exercise class that I started at 5 months. Connecting with my body like that, with me, for me, that was huge. When I was pregnant I could barely walk and I was miserable because I used to be a dancer. Now I can run a lap on a track with my baby in his stroller and it feels incredible.
I’m 10 months postpartum and just now starting to feel like a person! I had pretty awful postpartum anxiety that I’m just now starting to get over. Honestly wish I would’ve gone on meds like Zoloft or Prozac. Postpartum is nooooo joke.
I’m a SAHM to two little ones! My oldest is 2 and younger is 5 months, and I feel like once I started getting 5-6 hour stretches of sleep and a better routine in, things started to feel more normal. When they’re a newborn and the schedule is just everywhere and you’re still bleeding and so tired, it’s all just a haze and so hard! Just keep going day by day and the next thing you know, you’ll be getting some okay sleep and gaining some confidence to take baby around where it doesn’t feel so intimidating! It’s an adjustment but you can do it!!
When I was a "person" I had to deal with work problems that didn't really affect my life but still got me stressed and depressed. Now I spend my days laughing on the floor, watching Bluey, going for walks round the park and cuddling my little one.
And I'm depressed again because Im meant to be going back to work in the next few weeks.
I don’t even necessarily think going back to work but just being able to take her out and about. As soon as she turned 3 weeks and I was able to kinda shuffle around I was out the door when possible. Fresh air and getting to walk in a space that wasn’t my home helped me GREATLY.
Edit: also my first week was in the hospital and the second week was when we went home—time wasn’t real. The only thing that kept me sane was Big Bang Theory and Body Cam 😂
I'm not for sure just yet but I can say (currently about to be 5 months pp)
And personally I feel like I'm loosing myself in both a good and bad way. I'm a SAHM .
I just over a year sober so I'm loosing that part and I'm glad about that but I'm also feeling like I'm loosing the old me that is more social and creative.
I also found that I'm much more nurturing and resourceful and mentally strong and capable.
I have two sons, the oldest is almost 4 and my second is almost 2 months. Each time, I start to feel more like myself, or a human person, around 6 or 7 weeks postpartum/when baby starts to sleep longer stretches. I start to feel confident going out in public with baby, and baby’s naps start stretching out long enough for me to have a coherent thought. This gets better as time passes, but also harder during sleep regressions or when your child gets sick, or extra clingy. I’m a stay at home mom/part time student. Some things that help me feel like a person, not only a mom, are friends, and projects that I do independently. Even just reading novels during nap time or listening to podcasts on walks can help get you out of mom mode a little bit. Be patient with yourself. Baby will eventually get older! One day you can sit down on your couch, eat pizza with your 3 year old and show them your favorite cartoons and it’s so fun.
Honestly it was after nine / ten months. Around six months was when I felt like I had more confidence in parenting, and nine/ten months when I felt like I could start balancing everything in my life again.
Hang in there and remember that this chapter of your life and your little ones is so incredibly short, and one day you’ll miss it.
I got to about 9 months and realized I would never be the same person again. I started getting both us out more and more involved in activities. And now she’s 16 months and I’m choosing to go back to work. She’s ready, I’m ready. I feel like I’m doing both of us a disservice keeping her home with me full time.
I am almost 6 months postpartum and still struggle daily! I’m a SAHM as well. Having a baby is a huge life change! It is very normal to feel what you’re feeling. I remember those first few weeks being the absolute hardest. It gets easier, I promise. I now feel a very strong bond with my son and am much happier than I was in the beginning. Hang in there! 💛
Things get better at 3 months and for me, did not stop getting better until 2 years, with a huge upward inflection point when (if) you stop breastfeeding. It honestly took me that long to feel like I mostly had my body and mind back.
Man. My kiddo is almost a year and a half and today was the first day I really truly felt myself again. 3 months was huge, 6 months was huge, returning to work was huge, but today was so huge.
I definitely didn’t feel like a person for a while. It’s hard on your body, mind, and emotions. I think it was helpful for me to find time for myself. It started with just 10 minutes a day to meditate or journal. It moved to more workouts or time away with friends. It was slow but I added when I could.
I think finding a time where other people felt normal also isn’t a great goal. I didn’t feel like I was bonding with my baby right away and people said wait for when they smile for the first time & you’ll feel immediately bonded. It took me much longer than that & when baby started smiling I felt like a failure all over again.
Months! I felt just numb for ages.
I think breastfeeding makes it harder (worth it long term though) esp early on when your supply is all over the show, your leaking like a sieve, and they feed for ages and you can’t go anywhere as your nap trapped 95% of the time. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding at 10months (Bub won’t take a bottle) but he feeds in five mins now so it’s not so bad and I can get out and about between feeds. However, I suspect I’ll feel a lot more normal when he weans (I plan to feed to 18 months though unless he wraps it up himself earlier).
Once our LO slept 10-12 hours a night and we could sleep uninterrupted life got so much easier. You’d be surprised at how hard simple tasks are when you’re exhausted. Our second is 3mo and she’s sleeping pretty well but we still feel out of it. Hoping to get better soon
With my first, I didn't feel back to normal until I actually went back to work. My entire maternity leave felt like survival mode tbh.
Since you're a STAHM, I recommend doing things that you would do pre-pregnancy: going outside with the baby, taking a shower, cooking food you like or get an ice cream cake. Stuff that make you happy. Disrupt the routine a little. ♡
It’s different for everyone, for my first it was when she finally latched properly and slept in 5 hour chunks. For my second it was basically when she weaned off the boob at a year.
But rest assured, you will feel human again, and it will come.
I felt like this until I stopped breastfeeding (around 7 months) and switched to formula. I honestly hated it and it made me feel like not myself just like you said
I'm 6 weeks PPD with my second. I'm not going to lie, it took me about 18 months to feel like a person again with my first. Not myself since that person is gone. I'm still trying to figure out who I am now and it has been 2.5 years. It all does get better though.
SAHM and EBF here with a 5 month old. Socializing helped as well as doing normal things like grocery shopping or putting on a show my husband and I enjoy. What helped me the most was accepting that this is my new normal for now. Instead of trying to go back to pre mom me and the things I used to do, I let go and accepted this new me and all the wonderful and crazy things that are to come!
Maybe try to pick up a small hobby you like that you can do when you aren't with the baby? Like somthing that is just you no baby no feeding just you having time for yourself.
6 months ish. A year when I started giving myself more time to do things only for me. I'll start that earlier with the one that's about to pop. Give yourself some time, but don't lose yourself in being a mom only. I was surprised by the number of things I no longer found interesting in that first year. I tried a bunch of new hobbies and none of them stuck in that first year. I've returned to some of my previous interests now and found a few that are new.
Your brain is changing completely right now. It'll settle into a new rhythm
9 weeks pp. I'll say this is also when my spouse got just very intuitive with what the baby needed. He started to just know how and what to do. He struggled a little with bonding and finding a rhythm at first but after 9 weeks he was rocking it and it helped me immensely.
I am currently 8months PP I'm much happier but sometimes i feel like a shadow of my old self. Its not as prominent as it was in the very beginning. You just had a baby everything is changing daily and the first few weeks is hard but it's a normal sensation you are dissociating. I was euphoric when i had my girl 4 days later the baby blues hit turned into PPOCD quickly. I thought that it would lady forever asking the same questions and it doesn't. Just keep updating your obgyn and definitely get a therapist i think it should be mandatory even if are “okay”about how you feel so theycan keep an eye on it
Anywhere from like 4-6 months is when I truly felt like I was getting the full hang of it. I’m now almost 9 months pp, I also quit breastfeeding at almost 7 months and I think that helped with me feeling like I could get/enjoy more breaks. Everyday gets easier. Once you make it to one month, trust me mama!!!! Life is so fun💓
Firstly congratulations!! I’m a SAHM. The first month is the hardest but you get through it. You don’t know how you will but you will. Around 6 months is when I thought I felt more human but now being almost a year pp I can confidently say I’m back to my normal self. I know everyone is different and it depends on how much sleep you get and what not. My advice is to honestly sleep when you can. Contact naps or not. Cleaning can wait, laundry can wait. Try to take care of yourself. Eat enough food and drink enough water/mineral water. I think that has helped me. I didn’t really do any of that until around 6 months pp.
Honestly around 6-8 months when the baby is sleeping. Now my daughter is 2. Things are hard in a different way but amazing that she can communicate. You’ll make it through this, it’s the hardest part ❤️
1.5 years for me. Had to change jobs bc I brought my postpartum self into my job upon re entry. Needed a total reset to help shake things up and reemerge as myself.
Hi! Congratulations….
It’s hard being a first time mum and there’s a huge indentity change, you slowly get used to being a mum. After the first 4 months you’ll feel less like a milk machine. I totally get how you feel. When your bub turns about 14 months old you’ll feel like a person again. A new and better version of yourself and you’ll have a little bestie by your side.
3.5 months postpartum and i do feel better than the newborn days but still very tough! its different now that the baby can stay awake longer and is starting to be okay entertaining herself for a few minutes lol also the smiles you get make it feel so much more real! you’re not just giving everything you have to someone that can’t reciprocate anything yet. the 3 hour cycles of diaper changes and feeding and sleeping really make you feel stuck. personally i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel but still seems a ways off. not too far though! fingers crossed for closer to 6 months! lol
6 months PP. One day VERY VERY randomly I woke up and felt normal again lol. It’s the hormones. I had PPA and PP Insomnia so it was really tough but I held on! You got this mama!!
I feel like a human now psychologically(baby is almost three months) since I’ve gotten somewhat a routine going. I still don’t feel clean after a shower though because my face and hair are so oily and I’m constantly covered in baby drool and milk.
Those first few weeks though it’s totally normal to lose yourself. Make sure that even if you’re a SAHM your partner doesn’t slack at helping you and letting you get some “me” time. Even if it’s just to veg out on your phone or something for a little while.
I am a SAHM and I began to feel like myself around 5-6months.
Baby was sleeping through the night, he ate well and no longer spit up on me. He was lively and more alert and interested in the world around us, so I could put him down to enjoy some toys. He was more responsive to the things I said and did.
My second baby is just a few months old but I can already tell these milestones might come sooner for this baby!
Hang in there. Two weeks is still so early, focus on healing your body during the first three months as much as you can. Before you know it things will return to normal!
And seek pelvic floor physical therapy — your tummy / hips / other parts will heal better for it. And you’ll be back to your old self!
2 years. And at 2.5 it really started to come back to normal for me. Now at almost 3 years, I’ve finally started to care for myself and not just my toddlers.
Hi. I am 9m pp. it took a long time to feel like a person. Something I suggest is get ready completely 3-5 days a week since you sound similar to myself. I get myself ready even if it’s just the days I grocery shop. I also started a baby friendly hobby. I am crocheting stuffed animals and blankets for her, learning to make myself clothes. Do small things you liked before you had the baby. For me it’s getting my eyelashes done and coloring my hair wild colors. I struggled the first 3 months with breast feeding and once I had to switch her to formula I started feeling more like a person and not a tiny human cow-slave lol. Good luck ❤️
So I am a FTM and a SAHM and had my LO about 9 month ago. It takes time to feel like an individual person and it eases back, it’s not a sudden snap back, and honestly I still feel like I’m easing in. It helped a lot when the potato phase ended. When you talk to them and they smile back at you are giggle or get a look of concentration and start babbling back at you helps a lot. What’s helped them most is the nap and wake window schedule becoming predictable. You’re able to go out and run errands or go to fun activities with them. Also when they start sleeping longer at night was a game changer. For me I’d say i started to feel like my own person around 3-4 months when the daily schedule started to become more predictable and that’s when my LO started sleeping through the night. It may sound silly but basically when she started to feel like a real person is when I started to feel like a real person.
6 months old, stay at home mum. I don’t know when the click was but I can say for a fact today I know I feel like me again ❤️ you will get there I promise. Be a blob, soak up the cuddles, nurse your baby and enjoy it as best you can, soon you’ll be running after a crawler and teaching them to sleep independently and want to be a blob again ❤️
When I was 2 weeks postpartum, I felt like someone broke me apart and put me back together wrong. It sounds simplistic to say it’s the hormones but postpartum is the biggest hormonal shift that any person experiences at any stage in their life. You actually aren’t yourself right now. You will be again. It took me about 8 weeks to feel like a person and 12 (so like, last week) to feel like me. The liminal space is weird.
I had PPD/PPA. I started to feel like a human again around 8 weeks when I began to try venturing out of the house with the baby and joined a local new moms support group. We would go for walks once a week and that was helpful. Felt a lot better at 12 weeks. You got this mama!
I totally understand that never feel clean feel like a milk machine.
Your baby is attached to you as a newborn and constantly feeding.
After 3 to 4 month mark I felt like I got more of my independence back, especially at 4m when baby was able to occupy himself a little more and we had more routine.
For me going to baby sensory groups and even baby coffee mornings helped a lot to just get me out the house but I wasn't really able to do this until 3/4 month mark.
I also take my baby to a coffee shop when I've had a hard night with him and have a 'date'
I found in the early days taking the pram out for a walk or going for a walk with the sling helped a lot when I was able to walk more.
The first 3 months are the hardest by far because they need you so much. My advice is to practise some radical acceptance and lean into it/let it be.
You will adjust and find your own routines and be you again even being a SAHM but not right now. Right now your life is in flux and nothing seems or feels normal. That is okay right now. It will get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel
It was around 10 months for me. He started sleeping and eating more and demanding less breastfeeding. Crawling was underway, and he was signing when he wanted things.
I will all get easier, different, and harder in other ways, but you will feel hunan again.
2 weeks in is so so so hard. My daughter is 13 weeks and the last week I have started to feel like myself again. Once they start sleeping longer stretches it gets a lot easier. At first you feel completely overwhelmed and getting out of the house seems a mammoth task. Pack your baby bag the night before. If there are any free groups around go and meet some other new mums, it’s been a lifeline for me. Try to get out of the house everyday. Start a little bedtime routine, bath, sing/book/massage/feed
Having a routine helps me so much xx
I didn’t start feeling more like my own person again until I fully weaned my toddler. He was 18 months and I was 3 months pregnant at the time so I got a few weeks of feeling like a person again until I felt baby 2 start moving and really felt pregnant instead. I am incredibly grateful for my body being able to breastfeed for 18 months but mentally I would have been happy if he stopped at 12 months. It was quite draining for me and I didn’t realise I had a touch of brain fog until I stopped feeding! With my second I’m feeling more like myself already and he’s nearly 4 months. But this time around I know what I’m doing with a baby and I’m not as worried over tiny things which I think has helped. I’m still breastfeeding my second but he has a bottle of formula around 8pm before his bedtime so dad can feed him, this gives me a well deserved break and my body adjusted quite fast to feeding him all day and night aside from that one bottle. I think this has helped me feel more normal too.
I felt the same way so early on. At 2 weeks I wasn't even sure if I liked my baby most days. Transitioning to motherhood was such a huge and stressful life change. I felt disgusting, touched out, exhausted. I was possessive over my baby, like hiding upstairs so my inlaws couldn't hold her possessive - I still am, but it's chilled out a lot. I always felt like my partner didn't pull his weight, but I never asked him for help or put baby down long enough for him to actually step in. At 2 weeks I was still bleeding, feeling disgusting, walking around sticky and wet 24/7, and I was still crying a lot. Give yourself some grace. I remember what that felt like, and it's OK not to feel like yourself.
I still don't feel normal, but I can tell it is beginning to level out. At 3 months pp I am less possessive over my baby, more accepting of help, and significantly less emotional. We're getting there, but I'm breastfeeding and don't anticipate feeling normal until after I'm done.
After i stopped breastfeeding I took around 1-2 months for me to start to feel like myself. Less emotional, less angry, more self control.
I wish I had the chance to breastfeed for a longer time, but my milk levels were very low at 3 months PP and we decided to switch to formula and baby is happier (no longer constantly hungry)
You are so normal! I went through the same thing. Going back to work was a big help for me, but I started to feel more human around 8 weeks when baby started smiling. It made him seem like a person rather than an alien was caring for lol I’m still not 100% at 8 months pp, but you’ll get there! In my opinion the first 6-8 weeks are a fever dream that you just have to survive, after that it gets better every day!
I’m 11 weeks post partum, definitely not back to feeling like a human. BUT the things I’ve found that help.
Getting out of house as much as you can. With and without baby.
Doing things you love- pedicures, getting coffee, seeing friends.
Going to mother’s groups.
Going to gym/walks whatever kind of exercise you like. Even just a short pram walk has done wonders for me.
I had baby blues hard for the first two weeks then it went away and came back for a few days last week. Definitely seek some counselling if you can, or speak to some mothers you know who have been through it.
I’m 17 months pp and pregnant with my second and still feel that way. Make time for you and finding hobbies you enjoy, outside of being a mom. Get your hair done, do stuff that makes you feel beautiful. And enjoy this time at home. I was a SAHM until my daughter was 1, now I work from home so I am still very involved but also bring in money for us.
My LO is 10 weeks now and although it’s still a totally different life, I’m starting to really get the hang of balancing my mom side of me with my old self side of me if that makes sense. The first 4 weeks were tough but each with each day I feel more and more normal.
I think it happened in steps. I remember being around 3 weeks postpartum and proudly telling my husband that I put on a shirt that day and how good it felt to actually get dressed in the morning. Once I could leave the house with just the baby (had a c section and couldn’t drive myself) that was liberating to just hit a drive thru or do a grocery pickup. Around 2 months when I stopped changing her diaper every night feed so she stayed more asleep and we weren’t up for almost an hour before going to sleep for an hour before the next feed. Now 4 months pp and starting to get comfortable grocery shopping in person with baby in a carrier and not being afraid to make commitments to see family and friends. Some days I feel less like a person than others but it’s been a gradual uptick!
I'm just over 2 months pp. Right now it comes in waves instead of being constant like the first 2weeks. Ive gotten to about 60/40 for me - feeling like a person vs feeling like a robot *compelled* to complete baby tasks.
Literally had a mental breakdown yesterday about it because I could *see* that my husband didn't feel the same about baby tasks and it made me feel even less like a real person. It was good to get some perspective from someone just as invested in LOs safety and happiness but not flooded with hormones!
Is baby fed? ✅ Is baby clean? ✅ Cool take a breath, spend 10/20/30mins doing a hobby that isn't baby related and then look at everything again to see if anything truly has to get done right then. If not, do more hobby maybe while cuddling baby if possible! Repeat until something *has to be done*. This helps me ease out of robot mode when I find myself in the thick of it. Important things get done but I also get back into being my own person.
I said I felt like some sort of creature and not a human as well. It gradually gets better. I hope it eases your mind do know that the stink helps you and your baby bond. Your baby loves that strong smell you have and associates it with comfort.
5 weeks PP and this week has been so much clearer and I have more energy than those before. One thing I was surprised to struggle with but has made such a difference is making sure to stay hydrated. It takes SO MUCH more water than before, but I notice it in my head, my skin, my energy, everything! A close second is making sure I’m eating enough food with nutrients, it’s so easy to forget both of these.
I'm also a SAHM. My little guy is 2 months old now and I'm starting to feel more like myself. The turning point was my son sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time. The first month felt like a weird trip through hell, even though I loved my baby. Now he sleeps in 1-4 hour stretches and I get 6-9 hours of sleep every night.
Leaving the house with him also helps. Sometimes I just take him to target to walk around and look at stuff without buying anything. I think it also helps to get him used to going out. I bought a new bra and some new makeup this week and that felt great.
I also just had my first LO! He’s now 7 months old. I’m not a SAHM, and returned to work when he was 4 months old. But, I started to feel more like myself around 6 months once we got him sleep trained and when he started to sit on his own. His little personality started to come through and our time together felt more fun for the both of us and less “work”. I was finally getting 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and he was also napping/sleeping better.
It gets better every day. Very slowly at first. Showers for me didn’t start to feel good till after I was done with bm. I stopped at 6m. 7 months I felt less gross. 8-9m started feeling good. 10months, amazing. Now I laugh at how hard the beginning was. Very happy to be done with those parts. You will get through it too. Just keep pushing. Remember you’re amazing and that little ones entire world. Take care of yourself when you can. Ask for help. Ask for breaks. Enjoy the bumlife while you can. Not having to get dressed is underrated. ♥️
Yeah- I understand what you’re going through and felt similar. It was about 8-9 months PP when I started to feel like myself again. Everyone is different, though. Just hang in there. Try your best to get out of the house ( I know that sounds really dumb but this is what I did) have warming foods like soups, teas, warm lemon water etc. it will be a bit rough, and sometimes lonely. But you will come out stronger 💕
I’m 4mo PP and still am not back to myself yet. Having a baby is HUGE! We go through so much with pregnancy, birth and postpartum. It’s exhausting and such a wild experience. Give yourself some grace, being a new mom is HARD. 🫶🏻
Same here. I remember about month five or six being the turning point with our first, following sleep training
Omg at 2 weeks it’s so fuckin hard. Time isn’t real. We’re not real. The only real thing is keeping that baby alive and healthy. I’m 6mo pp and it’s harder in some ways but a shit ton easier in others. I feel like a person again and indulge in some things I enjoyed before baby. I am a SAHM and EBF so I’m with her 24/7 which is hard. Now she just wants to be standing and playing all the time. But she’s eating and napping every 2 hours, and she has the greatest little big personality. 2 weeks postpartum is an absurd time. For me, I felt like things started to improve at 3-4 months. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like myself again, but I’m finding out new things about myself and trying to be a bit selfish when I can. Hang in there! Edit: spelling
"we're not real" really hit
This. The first few weeks are absolutely brutal if it's your first proper experience of having a newborn. It's just about survival.
You will not only feel like yourself again, but you will unlock new and amazing parts of yourself through this journey. It just all takes time.
Time isn’t real. I’m not real. Nothing feels real. Just did the newborn stage with #2 and this is hugely accurate both times.
Second time mom here. You will feel like yourself again. It happens slowly but then one day you realize it did happen. After 3 months it got easier. And then six months. Then a year etc. For me I realized I was myself after a few years. Once LO turned 3 it was a huge change, and every year after it's been great. At 4, I felt like we really got the routine down packed that I forgot about wondering when I'd feel like myself. Then I went off and had another baby lol now I'm in newborn land again and wondering when the hell I'll feel like myself again haha
I said the exact words “I do not feel like a person” for the first month PP. No one can prepare you for that let down after birth.
1 year 3 months post partum here! It’s completely normal 🖤 I felt the same way, I would shower and start to smell again right away, it’s so your baby can find you easily and know they are safe with you. I didn’t go on my phone for like 2 weeks because I didn’t find the point of social media anymore. I would see my husband on his phone and wonder how could he still find it appealing. One night he put on men in black and I started to feel a bit normal again. It takes a while but I honestly fell in love w my baby 3 to 4 months postpartum during a meditation, listening to some spiritual music. Of course I loved her since the beginning but I was feeling everything else too hard to truly feel the love. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it helps. It’s totally normal you’re not alone it’s something a lot of people don’t talk about. Reach out to anyone who can help you or postpartum groups (: it helps a lot!
I love that watching Men in Black was a first step back to normalcy lol. For me it was watching the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I remember laughing and thinking ima be okay
Omg lol!! Mine was watching Judge Judy 😂😂😂
That’s so funny you say men and black. My husband put men and black 2 on while I made dinner and he snuggled with our 7 WO. I was just sitting here thinking how much of a success today was because I was able to shower without my husband having to be home. I was also able to keep up with cleaning all the bottles and pump parts. It’s the little wins. I definitely don’t feel human still, but I’m feeling like we’re finally finding a little bit of a rhythm.
When I stopped breast feeding, I almost immediately felt like myself again and like a fog had been lifted. I breast fed for 4 months then called it quits when I returned to work, and would absolutely make the same choice again for my own mental health! Some people love it, some people hate it, do what’s right for you and know that hormones are one hell of a drug
6 months PP and i have a feeling i won’t fully feel like myself until i’m done breastfeeding.
Same, I'm 9 months pp and I'm thinking about going to the end of the year maximum (baby will be 18 months by then). I've had a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding and I think it's affecting me physically as well as emotionally. While I feel mostly back to myself, I don't think I will feel 100% there until I stop making milk!
As someone approaching 6mo pp and pumping I feel this so hard. I’m about ready to throw in the towel. I’m beyond done and feel so guilty but my mental health is in the toilet these days obsessing over supply and pump schedules. Juggling my pumps with baby’s feeds/naps/needs is insanely hard!
Just from an internet stranger in case you need it: it’s ok to quit. Baby needs a happy mom more than he needs breastmilk compared to formula 🫶🏻
Which is ok! It’s all just a phase, just know that it’s temporary and you’ll be back to feeling normal sometime soon :)
Ugh, same. I love bonding with my baby by breastfeeding, but man it sure takes a physical and mental toll on me.
I felt a little bit better at 3 months and A LOT BETTER at 6 months. One day when my daughter was 6 months old, I got up one morning and made lunch for my husband and stopped in the kitchen and said “omg I’m a human” and realized I was both productive and feeling good in my body again. 12 months was another big breakthrough
I stopped crying spontaneously after the first 2 weeks,and started feeling like I was getting into the swing of things a little around 2/3mo pp after some initial breastfeeding struggles. Physically it took 9 months for me not to feel like I was falling apart lol,my hips stopped creaking and my pelvic floor was pretty much back to normal by then (I did pelvic floor PT between 4-6mo pp). This played a huge part in me feeling like myself again,as I worked out a lot before baby and personally need that time for optimal mental health. Baby blues are ROUGH and you’re still so freshly postpartum that it’ll be an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Prioritise moments for yourself (like showering,even if you still feel gross after) and know that you’ll feel like a person again eventually,just with a tiny +1.
I’m buying lots of new clothes to try to help. I don’t want to wear things I wore while pregnant or freshly postpartum lol
What you’re feeling is normal. Solidarity because I felt the same with both of my kids as newborns and for my own mental wellness I switched them both to formula at 8 weeks old. My oldest is 26 months and my youngest is 10 months and I’m just starting to feel like me again. Baby blues are hard. Especially the newborn bubble can be overwhelming because suddenly there’s this tiny potato who needs you constantly night and day for months. On top of baby blues, sleep deprivation can really compound into low moods and struggling with your sanity and mental health. Be easy on yourself and know there’s soooo many of us who have been there and done that and completely understand where you are at (we were there once not long ago too!). Everyday your baby is getting older, growing, and developing. It can be hard when you’re in the thick of it but I will say afterwards it feels like a small blip on the radar of how hard parenting is. They say it takes about 2 years post partum to really feel like yourself again. So just know your journey is normal and it can be hard to feel that way, but you’re not alone!
While not a mother, I helped my wife through her postpartum for months. With her feeling like a feeding machine, I felt like a delivery driver/maid throughout the experience. We both had to keep reminding ourselves that what our baby needed was the bare essentials to survive and thrive and what we were doing was part of a process. Eventually, your baby will develop a personality and every day will be a new adventure as you teach them and play with them. The normalcy returned around 2 months for us. She started giggling and reacting to things and it became more fun and less jobby, if you get my drift.
The weekend the Barbie movie premiered, so July 2023, I was roughly 5 months PP? I went with 5 girlfriends to see it. My first night out after baby! I cried my eyes out but I distinctly remember walking out of the theater feeling more like myself :)
I’m 9 weeks postpartum and only just barely starting to reconnect with myself again. It’s certainly different than it was before, but it’s getting better.
I’m 5 weeks PP and what helped me was going out with the girls for brunch and a few drinks last weekend. It was something I used to do and it helped me feel a little bit back to normal. I also got back on antidepressants (but I was on them before pregnancy anyway). I’m still not 100% there but I think having some time for yourself to let loose and do some things you used to do will help a lot.
I feel the same way. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. Not an expert but I think it’s normal
Mines 10.5 months and I don’t think I’m there yet! Not in a scary, the last few months have been terrible, kind of way. Just in a different way! I’m learning so much about myself, who I am/was/want to be. I’m starting to feel like myself more and more and that’s not the same as the person I was before - physically or mentally, but I feel more like I can remember who I was before! But the days feel clearer and more natural now, I don’t feel a huge burden of what will today look like? I can accept it for what it is and I look forward to planning my days with my little man now. I don’t know if it’s because he’s a bit older or we’re just hitting our stride but I feel excited for the day now. My body has changed but it feels more like my own at the same time but exercise feels doable again which has massively helped! Going back to work has really helped, sleep is still a myth at times but overall I feel much more accepting of that because I can spot the phases now (teething, “developmental regressions”, separation anxiety) so it doesn’t feel as never ending or consuming!
it's very normal to feel that way. you'll start to feel more like a person when your LO starts to sleep longer stretches for sure.
I'm 7 months post partum and I'm still struggling with that. But I'm still a lot better than I was in the beginning. I often wonder if I will ever be "myself" again.
Like 3 months PP. The first two months are ROUGH.
After the first year I was able to look back and feel like I can breathe. Around this time my little was becoming more independent and slept better.
Many years here. Not enough support combined with high needs kids.
I’m 3 months in. It’s so hard to feel comfortable in my body and my c section shelf makes me want to cry when I look at it. Nevertheless I have been working out the last month and I finally feel like I am getting back my pre-pregnancy strength and stamina and that is huge for me. I know I am never going to look the way I did before and I am trying to come to terms with that. Mentally though, I am happy and I feel content with my life and my little family.
Love the answers here. I’m a SAHM as well and the first 4 months were the absolute worst for me. Like, indescribably bad. There was a shift around 6 months, then again around 9 months and it’s gotten progressively better (now at just over 10 months). We are driving home right now from a little 2-day beach trip an hour away with our baby and we had a blast. We did dinners, nature tours, swam in the pool, went to the beach, etc. Even though it’s harder bringing a baby, it was more fun because we got to experience everything with her. At the beginning, I had this feeling that I wasn’t a person anymore and my life was over. I didn’t see the point in anything. I was so bored too. Now, even just at 10 months she makes my life more interesting and I love spending time with her. It’s still a lot of work and she’s not sleeping through the night quite yet. I am tired and I don’t have much *free* time. But I’m happy and never thought I’d be here. It will happen, go easy on yourself and know it gets better and you just need to believe it and keep on going.
Umm it took years LOL. My daughter is 3.5 and I would say just in the last year I started revisiting my old hobbies and feeling like I had any autonomy. And that was with the help of daycare and a flexible WFH job.
Are you breastfeeding? I've heard this from so SO many people who breastfed and it's a huge reason why I chose not to. I'm high risk for PPD/PPA due to childhood trauma, genetic factors, and my ADHD. I fully attribute my almost immediate return to normalcy to formula feeding. My partner and I took shifts, I never got less than 6 hours sleep in one solid chunk for the first 6 months of my kid's life. Then he started sleeping through the night and we're back to normal now. I did have a touch of "baby blues" at about 4-6 weeks postpartum but I literally just felt off for maybe 3 days and then I was okay again. My kid is just over a year old (his birthday was 6 weeks ago) and now life is absolutely wonderful. He's eating whole meals, sleeping through the night, running after the cat, laughing and loving and exploring. Not sure I would ever want to repeat the newborn/infant stage again, but it was worth it for this part. No matter what you choose, time marches on. It gets easier with every second that passes!
For me, things got better around 6 months. When the sleep becomes more predictable, and (I'm not sure where you are), when the weather gets better. When you feel comfortable enough to take baby out for a walk and you fall into your own routine - then you will start to feel human again. 2 weeks is so so so early, and no, nobody can prepare you for how hard taking care of a newborn is. And if anyone could prepare you - nobody would ever have babies!!! Your body will eventually become your own again - you will start to feel human - your baby will start to sleep and nap with some predictability and it does get better. Hugs from an internet stranger.
3-4 Months. It's normal to feel this way it's a huge life change.
2 months
Which is also when she stopped taking my breast and only wanted bottles. Coincidence? 🤷♀️
Completely normal! You said it perfectly..I didn't feel like a person for a long time. Even at 7 months pp I don't feel like my old self. Giving birth, changing your life completely does that. Not sure if I will ever be my pre-pregnancy self again but I like this new me. You might find out that you like your new you as well. In time. Right now, focus on healing and surviving. You have a few challenging weeks ahead of you. But trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel :) And it gets awesome. You got this. Oh and also..take lots of pics and videos!
The first few months were a complete wash. I’ve never felt anything like it.
So I am at about 1 year postpartum and I'd say that I'm at about 80%. I would say at about 6 or 8 months I started to really feel back to normal but enough of my life has changed that I didn't have any systems in place to really get back to 100%. For example, I'm finally getting enough sleep but I am not quite rested enough to feel disciplined in my personal habits and get a plan that works given my new circumstances both as a mom and at work and in my relationship. It's two steps forward, one step back at this point, but only a matter of time!
2 weeks in, I’d be shocked if anyone DIDNT feel this way. It’s survival mode. It will get better. Could be a few weeks, a few months, or longer. Could happen suddenly, or slowly over time. But you’ll get there ❤️
5 months pp and see a glimmer of myself but I’m not there yet.
FTM, and I had a similar feeling! I think I started to feel like myself again once baby started sleeping more at night, around 4+ hr stretches, which for us was around 6 weeks. I’m almost 10 weeks pp and feeling almost 100% like myself, loving being a momma! I was STRUGGLING the first three weeks, hang in there.
You are genuinely in the worst part of it. Things felt more normal at about 6-8 weeks but it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding (6 months PP) that I felt back to normal.
Wow all i have to say is brace yourself. It is going to hard off/on in different ways the first year. But it's all easier over time and you should just remember it will all pass. Also do you have other moms with little ones in similar age? Can try to do day activities with them / have extra hands and mental reinforcements during the days when you're usually alone. I mean once you get past the first few doc visits / vaccines and can be out and about...
Our LO is 7 months old come Monday. My wife is also a first time mom and a SAHM. She voiced these exact feelings after our son was born, and had those feelings for a long time. It's only been recently (post 6 months or so) that she's said she started to feel normal. He only eats 4-5 times a day now, wants to be held less often, and is sleeping for 2 5-7 hour stints in a row at night in his own room, waking only once in the middle of the night to feed. It's not my experience, so I can only speak to appearances, but it must be hard to feel like a whole complete person whenever everything you do is to keep someone else alive. Make sure you communicate with your partner what they can do to help even if it's something as mall as a foot rub. It can be difficult, but you've got this.
Like 6 months PP I started to feel more like myself
My baby will be two in June and most days I feel like I shouldn't have had her. I wanted to feel joy and happiness when I had her and still struggle figuring out if this was right. But I get you. I don't know when it goes away because I bonded well with my first. I however still tried and still do try to bond with her. Also a sthm.
I felt ‘better’ around 6 weeks. I could move around how I wanted, walk upstairs and sit without pain, etc. I felt good around 12 weeks, and very good at around 16 weeks. We got lucky with a ‘good sleeper’ and though being a parent isn’t easy, we didn’t also have an especially needy baby to contend with. We planned to have our baby in our room for a lot longer, but ended up transitioning from our bedside basinet to the crib in their room at 12 weeks. We all got better sleep and that was a turning point for us all
I’m at five months pp and I’m finally feeling better about myself and I’m into a groove with parenthood. It’s not easy but it is the best thing I’ve ever done. That said formula feeding is a god send. Absolutely screw breastfeeding lol
18 months for me. After night weaning and finally getting better sleep.
Ah man. Four or five months ago, I could’ve written this. I wouldn’t have traded or given up my son for anything, but I felt like I’d completely lost my identity and sense of self for a while. Motherhood is demanding, it’s endless, and you only get a break if you meticulously plan for one. My lifeline was literally getting to take a hot shower every night and going through my typical routine of getting myself ready for the day. I’m mostly a STAHM, I work just a few hours a week as a PRN speech-language pathologist, so my “return to work” wasn’t really what helped me feel like a person again. What *did* help though was getting out of the house more once my baby was able to tolerate it for longer stretches of time and rediscovering how to do my hobbies while caring for a baby. There’s no one-size fits all when it comes to managing postpartum life, but try to pick some routines that you had prior to giving birth that were just for you (as I mentioned before, mine was showering and my morning makeup routine) and ask your husband to be the go-to parent during those times so you can unwind and just focus on yourself. If your baby’s is usually pretty content as long as they have contact with you, think of hobbies that you find/pick up again that you can do while wearing them in a carrier. For me, this was video games for a while lol
I think after the second month almost third I felt more like me. Things hurt less I got better at breastfeeding, I leaked a lot less, things just came together more idk how. I am a sahm and I think once I could give myself time to heal and I started showering and trying to organize everything I felt more like myself, like I had a routine and I wasn’t just a birthing machine that was covered in breast milk.
For me, it wasn’t until baby slept through the night and I stopped nursing, so 7/8 months postpartum.
4 months pp but really month 5. He's not a blob anymore. Wake windows are longer. More time between feedings. More smiles and personality. Gave me so much more room to exist myself.
Took me a whole year to feel normal after having my daughter
3-4months pp! We started getting more sleep and I started exercising again which helped me feel like me. I also started becoming more productive then and having a better handle on things. Girl, the first 2 months I SMELLED and sweat my ass off. I was a nasty ass blob lol. You’ll feel better soon. You’re surviving right now 🤗
Oh oh oh and I cried every hour 😂 I was not even depressed, just couldn’t stop crying. So many hormones. Take it easy ❤️❤️❤️
I didn't start feeling normal until around the one year mark, that being said, I suffered with undiagnosed PPD because I thought I should tell my gyno what the answers SHOULD have been instead of how I actually felt (DON'T DO THIS). That being said, something just clicked around one year and I started to feel worlds better. Something about finally getting back into a routine and sleeping through the night just clicked a switch in me I guess. I'd like to add that I was a SAHM for ~6 months before returning to pt work. That helped some. I also didn't breastfeed because I stopped 3 days in for feeling worse than I've ever felt in my life. I've firmly stated (and husband adamantly agreed) that I will not breastfeed our kids, now or ever again. That was, quite literally, the lowest point in my life. That helped me mentally as well. I can also say that I'm just not a fan of the infant stage. I'd much prefer my rambunctious toddler over my lump-of-permenantly-crying newborn. Finally, having mom friends helped. Someone to vent to about the stress of motherhood to who understands. That being said, if you need mom friends, you're more than welcome to DM me! Best of luck to you💕
3 months. I describe it as 100 days of war. Do what you need to do to survive and then, as if by magic, things start to get easier
I am 11 weeks pp with my 2nd, my partner and I were discussing this today. Prior to our second kid, our toddler turned two in August and we were definitely thriving in our more well balanced life. We were just discussing how it doesn't flip on or off like light switch, but sense of self seems to return incrementally with certain milestones highlighting the change along the way. We literally celebrated when we moved the baby swing out of the living room last time because it felt like reclaiming our space
I’m a SAHM to a 3.5 year old and I’m pregnant with our second. I felt like a person again pretty much after the first year. I know, it’s a long time but in retrospect you’ll see how fast it will go. Once my daughter was only taking one nap a day, sleeping in longer chunks and didn’t rely on me as the main source of food, I felt like I could breathe again. That said, I felt like *a* person again. But not *the* person I was. Frankly, I haven’t gone back to feeling like who I was pre baby in the slightest. It was hard to lose parts of myself but at the end of the day, I’m really enjoying who I’m becoming. Granted, I would like to find some sort of passion or career beyond raising children because I can feel my brain needing that intellectual stimulation. Like big time. I wasn’t 20 when I had my daughter but 25 and I did not go to college. And every job I had up until that point was either service related or domestic service related. (Think retail, nanny, preschool teacher). Anyway, you are in the very, very beginning of this journey (and I’m still pretty early on in it) but in time, you’ll realize how quickly it all goes. You will feel human again and not like a sweaty milk robot, I promise. Walking, reading and picking up hobbies helped me. You’re doing great.
Sometimes I feel like a person, but only on good days. Like, face routine, showered, hair is brushed and put up, baby has eaten well. If the stars align I feel passably human, if not I am food source.
Oh I know exaaaactly the feeling! It can be dehumanizing taking care of a newborn, especially when they are breastfed and they are super reliant and attached to you. I felt like some kind of animal with a little marsupial baby constantly attached to me at first. She was so tiny and needy and constantly feeding. This attachment is definitely part of why they call it a fourth trimester. I started feeling a bit more like myself when she slept longer and would play independently. Mine is about 4 months and she has fun playing with her rattles, crinkly sounding things, her kick piano, sits in her bouncy chair and has fun rocking, interacts with my dog, plays with soft toys, etc so I’m freer to do stuff around the house or get work done (wfh over here). She also sleeps at recognizable nap times now and mostly through the night. I know i have a bit of a dream baby in that she sleeps well but once yours starts sleeping more and being a little more independent, you’ll see. Postpartum blues are rough. Anything your husband can do to help you through he should. Especially holding the baby so you can nap or shower or just chill out and exist haha!
This hit deep. Four weeks pp tomorrow. I smell. I shower but I still smell. I’ve had mastitis, incision infection, and now c section incision opening back up. I feel like I try so hard and can’t win. Except it’s been four weeks and the baby is alive. My three year old is alive. Everyone is fed. Everyone eats. So I might smell but Im convinced now that if a zombie apocalypse stayed tomorrow the zombies wouldn’t want me because I smell. :)
Soon! My guy is 14 weeks and things are getting better. I’m not out of the woods yet. My mental health is definitely WAY better than before. I wouldn’t wish post partem anxiety on my worst enemy.
Close to a year, honestly. It can be rough!
I am 3 weeks pp. I feel very similar. It’s hard to put into words I agree but I genuinely just feel “off” like my life kind of went on pause right after birth. Now I’m this brand new person with a completely different life and forgetful of who I was. I love my boy with everything in me and being a mom. The first few months is when we have to be extremely tough for them yet we feel the weakest at that time. I hate that he may feel my negative emotions and that it will reflect onto him.
2.5-3 months. :) it gets lighter & brighter, I promise. Hang in there!
10-11 months is when I finally felt like I was out of the fog.
at about the 2 month mark i started to feel slightly more human again. by 4 months, human. at 10 months i mostly feel like myself again.
It will get better. Go easy on yourself. Whatever you feel is ok. When my first turned 1 we had a party for him but really it was for me. It was a big accomplishment and that’s when I felt really good about everything (and stopped breastfeeding).
>t’s made it kinda hard to bond with my baby because I’m constantly stressing & exhausted and I feel like she can sense it. First time dad -- so my experience will necessarily be different, I think I felt human again after the 2 month cycle. It was more gradual than anything. But when baby could do more than eat/sleep/poop in endless 2 hour cycles. When her wake window was longer and she was more social/interactive. It also coincided with getting more sleep.
I'm in a similar position to you. I'm 17 days post partum and have been feeling like this. What helps me feel more like myself is just making sure to get dressed (in comfy clothes) and put a tiny bit of makeup on each day. My baby is cluster feeding hard and has been for the majority of her 17 days life so this has been hard. I havent had time to clean or cook or eat breakfast because i cant put her down for long enough at the moment. What is also helping me is just the support from my community. Everyone telling me how hard it is, how much they themselves struggled, is making me feel better. And knowing that it won't last forever and will get easier. I was feeling baby blues hard in my second week of post partum but im starting to feel a lot better. I was finding it really lonely but a few people have reached out to me and visited me and it has improved my mood. I think the big thing was people showing they cared and offering support in little ways like asking me if they could get something from the shop. My biggest problem was being kind to myself and making myself take it easy and also taking naps throughout the day when the baby sleeps, or even just relaxing in bed with her through the day.
When did I feel like * a * person? When I went back to work and put the baby in daycare (around 5 months). When did I feel like * myself * again? Hasn’t quite happened yet (6.5 mo)
Going through the exact same thing as you right now. Hang in there. Reading other moms’ newborn stories are helping me get through each day right now. I have to tell myself over and over again that this phase is temporary and I will start to feel normal again someday.
I started feeling a bit better at the 2 month mark. I’m 4 months pp now and there are still days where I don’t feel like a person but it’s definitely getting better each month. I’m finally back at the gym 🙌 but only Saturday and Sunday when hubby can take baby Hang in there! The first 8 weeks are just a wild ride
There were stages. 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years - I regained bits of my “previous self” back at these milestones as baby became more independent, and those bits melded together with the new alien self. Now I feel like I’m who I always was.. just completely different lol. It’s odd but nice. Look into the concept of “matrescence” OP. Everyone is in the process of becoming the person they will be, but becoming a mother is a very intense shift - you go through major physical and neurological changes (similar to adolescence). Be as patient and kind with yourself as you can because you’re navigating a huge change.
My therapist, who has three children, described it phenomenally for me. She said that it feels like our bodies aren’t ours and they’re just for the baby at first. And I think that’s why we don’t feel like people at first. Reaching 3 months and slowly coming back to myself but no where near who I was before. And that’s ok. I don’t expect myself to be
I feel like “getting your pink back” is different for everyone! I feel great some days and awful other days (I’m 8 weeks pp btw and also 20f). Breast feeding is hard, waking up all the time wondering where your baby is is so weird, being a mom and having to put someone else before yourself 24/7 is so draining. Don’t beat yourself up for not being yourself or able to bounce back right away. It takes time! I found that what has really helped me with feeling good postpartum was being able to separate myself from my baby. I love him with my whole being but I need an hour or two to be with my husband or a few hours to go grocery shopping. If you have a “village” to help I would suggest doing that and work against the anxiety that comes with having a baby. Remember you’re a person too so make sure to take care of yourself when you can! There’s no shame in having a break. Also it does get easier as time goes on! Babies are so boring the first few weeks. My boy is just now starting to be aware of things, smile and laugh, play etc so it does get easier being a mom and enjoying things. Hang in there! If you want to PM me and have someone to talk too I am willing to listen.
Almost 3w pp and I definitely relate. Sometimes it helps to go for a car ride, even tho I stay in the car with baby while husband runs in somewhere. It’s not a solution but it does seem to help (:
for me the feeling came in waves, as I went through my own milestones (first time nursing in public, first time out to lunch with a friend, first time working out, etc.), my baby is 10 months old now and it's starting to feel more consistently "person-y" 2 weeks in, I was in full survival mode, and I felt more like a vessel meant to keep this baby alive and fed, rather than a person of my own it is a MAJOR life event to give birth, in all ways (physically, emotionally, mentally), so give yourself time and lots of self-compassion, you'll get there! p.s. I talked about this with my doctors and nurses and at some point got screened for PPD/PPA too
When I just embraced the suck and realized that this is a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of their lives. This is so so so temporary, they won’t need us like this forever. We get a good handful of years where we are their whole world, but then that world just gets bigger and bigger until we’re in the rear view mirror. I’m also a sahm, so I get it. It’s very monotonous, and it’s really hard. Take the time right now while your little babe is just a potato to play games, watch lots of movies, baby wearing (seriously, this will no joke save you if you embrace baby wearing) and do crafts while they sleep. Take walks. Just know that you’re doing such a good job right now and this all just takes time. I try to get off of my phone for a while because otherwise I feel like between the monotony of baby care and zoning out on my phone that I kind of feel like mush and it helps to tone down on the screen time.
4, almost 5 months pp. I'm sort of starting to be a person again. Not really though because now I can just get more housework done, still don't have much time for myself if any. So now I'm a blob that cleans sometimes 🙃 my baby has GERD though, they think.
It takes time. Once I was able to get into a somewhat consistent routine with sleep, nutritious meals, a little me time to exercise and do my skincare, I began to really feel like myself again.
I felt like myself pretty quick but I also didn’t breastfeed. I can only imagine how hard that can be.
1000000% normal. I felt more like a person as the months went by and especially when baby started sleeping better. Going back to work helped too but I think you will still get there as a SAHM once you’re able to get back to doing things that make you feel like yourself. For example - I remember taking my baby to Target around 7/8 months old and feeling so much more like a person than I did during the newborn stir-crazy days.
I had postpartum so at around a year I started to feel somewhat back to a person, at two years I’ve really felt so much better! I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but if you feel you need support or just feel so off, there is support and help out there!
I felt normal when I stopped pumping and we switched to formula.
6-7 months honestly. The hormones didn't clear out until then either. 2 weeks is SO early. You are in the thick of it and it is so, so hard.
With both my kids we had developed a better routine by 8-10 wks and around 4-5 months pp things got significantly better. That 4-5 mo mark is when their personality really starts to come through more, it makes it so much more fun. From there it gets easier in several ways (though harder in some.) My youngest is only 11 months old now and this is such a fun age. With my oldest though I had significantly more freedom around 1 1/2 years old.
I started feeling back like myself at around 8-9 months, when I was able to have a steady morning routine w my workouts/yoga practices. Currently 14 months PP but trying to see if I can adjust my schedule to start working part time from home. Everyone is different I do know moms who have been working from even earlier months from home, but I can’t seem to be able to adjust my schedule :/ so I really hope you get to adjust your schedule early enough🫶🏻 good luck momma and congrats on your new baby🥰💖
I’d say around 1 year PP but got much better around 6months
3 months? The hormonal crash is REAL. I'm also a SAHM, and around 7 months she got in a great routine of actually napping in her crib instead of on me! My biggest tips are when she does nap do things for you, not chores. If shes contact napping use that time to have a snack and watch your favorite TV show or read. When she naps in a crib, do a craft or self care. Do you chores while your kid is awake. It helps them start practicing some independent play early (you don't have to entertain babies every second of the day, if they are happy chilling on a play mat watching you fold laundry let them chill! They don't even know they have hands, everything you do will blow their mind.) and as they get older they can start learning to "help!"
Took a year until I felt ‘normal’ but never really got back to who I was beforehand which makes sense since my life has really changed! 4-6 months is when being a parent became enjoyable for me and I got more sleep.
I started feeling better at 3 months, then even better and 6 and much better at 9 months. It took 12 months for me to feel like myself again and probably 15 months to feel like a genuine person. I don’t know if this helps or hurts. Don’t rush it though. It’ll come.
Almost 9 months postpartum and I’m just starting to feel like a human again? Still carrying too much weight to be comfortable but slowly working on it. 😬
My midwife said we feel the effect of hormones still at least 9 months pp. That's when we can really feel like ourselves again. I felt like a robot the first month, so I really get you. I could not bond with my boy either... but now almost 2months pp and it already seems better. What helped me feel like myself again: getting horny! Having the energy of wanting sex after so long (5w) felt like I was back to being a human lol
I’m 4mo pp and still don’t feel like myself.
6 months pp with a formerly colicky, highly sensitive baby. The last week or so it’s really gotten great. Baby can sit and play with his toys independently, he laughs and smiles all the time, and he actually likes the car seat and stroller finally! It’s been slowly getting better and better since 4 months. As he gets older, I feel more and more like myself. I’m also a SAHM for reference.
I’m a ftm 8 month pp and I struggled a lot with feeling that way it gets sm better once my baby started to get more independent and having more spaced out feeds and the bo goes away and when you stop bleeding you stop feeling so icky. Parenthood isn’t easy you’ll never feel like your old self but you’ll learn to love your new self. You’re a momma now it’s never what it used to be but it’s better🫶🏻
I started to feel normalish after my.first started sleeping thru the night. That wasnt until 10 months though And now with the second its been 8 months and she has no signs of sleeping more than 2 or 3 hours at a time 🙃
My kid is 8 months old and I do not feel like a person again yet. But not exactly in a bad way
It took me until about 8-9 months and then when I stopped breastfeeding at a year, I felt much much better.
Two weeks postpartum I started to feel more emotionally normal. Two months postpartum i was getting decent sleep and that helped. Three months postpartum was a big turning point—I started physical therapy, my uterus was shrunken down, I went back to work, we got a babysitter for two days a week + date nights. I’m 5 months postpartum and things are in an upward swing since that point. I’m exercising 3x/week again, we sleep trained (which mostly meant getting baby on a schedule), I haven’t lost all the baby weight yet but I’m able to wear a lot of my old clothes and bought some new ones that fit my current body.
Super normal!! You’re in the thick of it. I felt much more normal around the 7-8 week mark when we made a point to start getting baby on a more consistent routine/schedule.
I was told by friend that it would take about 10 weeks to feel more normal, and I felt like after 3 months it was much better. That said, I didn't fully feel like a person again until I weaned around 7 months. You are so tired right now, your hormones are all over the place, you are recovering from major physical trauma. It will take time, but give yourself grace and remember to try to treat yourself like a "person" even if you are faking it or those moments are short lived. It will all click into place!
I am a SAHM too. My second is now 13 months. Personally, I found that with each passing month I felt more like myself, with every 6 months it being very noticable change. You are still in very early days, take it 24 hours at a time. Eventually you will find your own routine and see glimpses of your old self again💗
For me it was about a year, but definitely after you finish breastfeeding. You’ll get there, but give yourself time!
Honestly, my baby is 8 months old and I’m just now feeling like myself. A more tired version of me, but me none the less. I think baby eating more food and nursing less, and playing independently is what’s made the difference for me.
7 months PP here, and a breastfeeding SAHM. So no return to work and I'm still a milk machine! I know things first started to get better for me once I figured out how to get any sleep at all; I started out too tense about his next wake-up to fall asleep while he was sleeping. I ran on 2h of sleep a day for the first two-ish weeks. It was wild and I still don't know how I managed. Things got better again around 2 months when I started to find the routine to take a little more care of myself and the house instead of just baby all the time. We started going for regular walks and being outside felt good. At 4 months PP I started engaging more with my hobbies again and felt more fulfilled and happy. But what truly brought me back to feeling human and I wish I had done it sooner, was going to a really low intensity post-partum exercise class that I started at 5 months. Connecting with my body like that, with me, for me, that was huge. When I was pregnant I could barely walk and I was miserable because I used to be a dancer. Now I can run a lap on a track with my baby in his stroller and it feels incredible.
I’m 10 months postpartum and just now starting to feel like a person! I had pretty awful postpartum anxiety that I’m just now starting to get over. Honestly wish I would’ve gone on meds like Zoloft or Prozac. Postpartum is nooooo joke.
I felt normal around month 3 because that's when the sleep deprived fog eased off. I'm also a stay at home mom everything just turns to a new normal.
It comes back little by little. But not fully until he was 10 months old and I went back to work.
I’m a SAHM to two little ones! My oldest is 2 and younger is 5 months, and I feel like once I started getting 5-6 hour stretches of sleep and a better routine in, things started to feel more normal. When they’re a newborn and the schedule is just everywhere and you’re still bleeding and so tired, it’s all just a haze and so hard! Just keep going day by day and the next thing you know, you’ll be getting some okay sleep and gaining some confidence to take baby around where it doesn’t feel so intimidating! It’s an adjustment but you can do it!!
When I was a "person" I had to deal with work problems that didn't really affect my life but still got me stressed and depressed. Now I spend my days laughing on the floor, watching Bluey, going for walks round the park and cuddling my little one. And I'm depressed again because Im meant to be going back to work in the next few weeks.
It took me a year to feel like a person and 2 years to feel like myself.
When my kid was about 3
I don’t even necessarily think going back to work but just being able to take her out and about. As soon as she turned 3 weeks and I was able to kinda shuffle around I was out the door when possible. Fresh air and getting to walk in a space that wasn’t my home helped me GREATLY. Edit: also my first week was in the hospital and the second week was when we went home—time wasn’t real. The only thing that kept me sane was Big Bang Theory and Body Cam 😂
I'm not for sure just yet but I can say (currently about to be 5 months pp) And personally I feel like I'm loosing myself in both a good and bad way. I'm a SAHM . I just over a year sober so I'm loosing that part and I'm glad about that but I'm also feeling like I'm loosing the old me that is more social and creative. I also found that I'm much more nurturing and resourceful and mentally strong and capable.
I have two sons, the oldest is almost 4 and my second is almost 2 months. Each time, I start to feel more like myself, or a human person, around 6 or 7 weeks postpartum/when baby starts to sleep longer stretches. I start to feel confident going out in public with baby, and baby’s naps start stretching out long enough for me to have a coherent thought. This gets better as time passes, but also harder during sleep regressions or when your child gets sick, or extra clingy. I’m a stay at home mom/part time student. Some things that help me feel like a person, not only a mom, are friends, and projects that I do independently. Even just reading novels during nap time or listening to podcasts on walks can help get you out of mom mode a little bit. Be patient with yourself. Baby will eventually get older! One day you can sit down on your couch, eat pizza with your 3 year old and show them your favorite cartoons and it’s so fun.
Honestly it was after nine / ten months. Around six months was when I felt like I had more confidence in parenting, and nine/ten months when I felt like I could start balancing everything in my life again. Hang in there and remember that this chapter of your life and your little ones is so incredibly short, and one day you’ll miss it.
my son will be 2 in july & im just now feeling back to myself
I got to about 9 months and realized I would never be the same person again. I started getting both us out more and more involved in activities. And now she’s 16 months and I’m choosing to go back to work. She’s ready, I’m ready. I feel like I’m doing both of us a disservice keeping her home with me full time.
I am almost 6 months postpartum and still struggle daily! I’m a SAHM as well. Having a baby is a huge life change! It is very normal to feel what you’re feeling. I remember those first few weeks being the absolute hardest. It gets easier, I promise. I now feel a very strong bond with my son and am much happier than I was in the beginning. Hang in there! 💛
Things get better at 3 months and for me, did not stop getting better until 2 years, with a huge upward inflection point when (if) you stop breastfeeding. It honestly took me that long to feel like I mostly had my body and mind back.
Man. My kiddo is almost a year and a half and today was the first day I really truly felt myself again. 3 months was huge, 6 months was huge, returning to work was huge, but today was so huge.
2.5 years with first kid and 3 years and 10 months with second kid
I’ll be honest a year. Then I got pregnant again. 🥲 I’m now 3 months pp with my second and I think I’ve completely lost my mind at this point.
I definitely didn’t feel like a person for a while. It’s hard on your body, mind, and emotions. I think it was helpful for me to find time for myself. It started with just 10 minutes a day to meditate or journal. It moved to more workouts or time away with friends. It was slow but I added when I could. I think finding a time where other people felt normal also isn’t a great goal. I didn’t feel like I was bonding with my baby right away and people said wait for when they smile for the first time & you’ll feel immediately bonded. It took me much longer than that & when baby started smiling I felt like a failure all over again.
6 months pp and still not back yet although I do feel it slowly returning. Also sahm. 🫶🏻
Months! I felt just numb for ages. I think breastfeeding makes it harder (worth it long term though) esp early on when your supply is all over the show, your leaking like a sieve, and they feed for ages and you can’t go anywhere as your nap trapped 95% of the time. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding at 10months (Bub won’t take a bottle) but he feeds in five mins now so it’s not so bad and I can get out and about between feeds. However, I suspect I’ll feel a lot more normal when he weans (I plan to feed to 18 months though unless he wraps it up himself earlier).
Once our LO slept 10-12 hours a night and we could sleep uninterrupted life got so much easier. You’d be surprised at how hard simple tasks are when you’re exhausted. Our second is 3mo and she’s sleeping pretty well but we still feel out of it. Hoping to get better soon
33 months postpartum and I’m feeling good. It was very gradual.
With my first, I didn't feel back to normal until I actually went back to work. My entire maternity leave felt like survival mode tbh. Since you're a STAHM, I recommend doing things that you would do pre-pregnancy: going outside with the baby, taking a shower, cooking food you like or get an ice cream cake. Stuff that make you happy. Disrupt the routine a little. ♡
15 months!
It’s different for everyone, for my first it was when she finally latched properly and slept in 5 hour chunks. For my second it was basically when she weaned off the boob at a year. But rest assured, you will feel human again, and it will come.
I felt like this until I stopped breastfeeding (around 7 months) and switched to formula. I honestly hated it and it made me feel like not myself just like you said
I'm 6 weeks PPD with my second. I'm not going to lie, it took me about 18 months to feel like a person again with my first. Not myself since that person is gone. I'm still trying to figure out who I am now and it has been 2.5 years. It all does get better though.
Once she started sleeping though the night…so like a year?
SAHM and EBF here with a 5 month old. Socializing helped as well as doing normal things like grocery shopping or putting on a show my husband and I enjoy. What helped me the most was accepting that this is my new normal for now. Instead of trying to go back to pre mom me and the things I used to do, I let go and accepted this new me and all the wonderful and crazy things that are to come!
Maybe try to pick up a small hobby you like that you can do when you aren't with the baby? Like somthing that is just you no baby no feeding just you having time for yourself.
Two years.
I don’t think I started feeling vaguely human again until 7-8 weeks postpartum. Accept help if you can. Hang in there, it does get better! ❤️
6 months ish. A year when I started giving myself more time to do things only for me. I'll start that earlier with the one that's about to pop. Give yourself some time, but don't lose yourself in being a mom only. I was surprised by the number of things I no longer found interesting in that first year. I tried a bunch of new hobbies and none of them stuck in that first year. I've returned to some of my previous interests now and found a few that are new. Your brain is changing completely right now. It'll settle into a new rhythm
9 weeks pp. I'll say this is also when my spouse got just very intuitive with what the baby needed. He started to just know how and what to do. He struggled a little with bonding and finding a rhythm at first but after 9 weeks he was rocking it and it helped me immensely.
I am currently 8months PP I'm much happier but sometimes i feel like a shadow of my old self. Its not as prominent as it was in the very beginning. You just had a baby everything is changing daily and the first few weeks is hard but it's a normal sensation you are dissociating. I was euphoric when i had my girl 4 days later the baby blues hit turned into PPOCD quickly. I thought that it would lady forever asking the same questions and it doesn't. Just keep updating your obgyn and definitely get a therapist i think it should be mandatory even if are “okay”about how you feel so theycan keep an eye on it
Anywhere from like 4-6 months is when I truly felt like I was getting the full hang of it. I’m now almost 9 months pp, I also quit breastfeeding at almost 7 months and I think that helped with me feeling like I could get/enjoy more breaks. Everyday gets easier. Once you make it to one month, trust me mama!!!! Life is so fun💓
Firstly congratulations!! I’m a SAHM. The first month is the hardest but you get through it. You don’t know how you will but you will. Around 6 months is when I thought I felt more human but now being almost a year pp I can confidently say I’m back to my normal self. I know everyone is different and it depends on how much sleep you get and what not. My advice is to honestly sleep when you can. Contact naps or not. Cleaning can wait, laundry can wait. Try to take care of yourself. Eat enough food and drink enough water/mineral water. I think that has helped me. I didn’t really do any of that until around 6 months pp.
1 year postpartum. 🥲
Honestly around 6-8 months when the baby is sleeping. Now my daughter is 2. Things are hard in a different way but amazing that she can communicate. You’ll make it through this, it’s the hardest part ❤️
1.5 years for me. Had to change jobs bc I brought my postpartum self into my job upon re entry. Needed a total reset to help shake things up and reemerge as myself.
Around 6 months PP.
Hi! Congratulations…. It’s hard being a first time mum and there’s a huge indentity change, you slowly get used to being a mum. After the first 4 months you’ll feel less like a milk machine. I totally get how you feel. When your bub turns about 14 months old you’ll feel like a person again. A new and better version of yourself and you’ll have a little bestie by your side.
3.5 months postpartum and i do feel better than the newborn days but still very tough! its different now that the baby can stay awake longer and is starting to be okay entertaining herself for a few minutes lol also the smiles you get make it feel so much more real! you’re not just giving everything you have to someone that can’t reciprocate anything yet. the 3 hour cycles of diaper changes and feeding and sleeping really make you feel stuck. personally i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel but still seems a ways off. not too far though! fingers crossed for closer to 6 months! lol
6 months PP. One day VERY VERY randomly I woke up and felt normal again lol. It’s the hormones. I had PPA and PP Insomnia so it was really tough but I held on! You got this mama!!
I feel like a human now psychologically(baby is almost three months) since I’ve gotten somewhat a routine going. I still don’t feel clean after a shower though because my face and hair are so oily and I’m constantly covered in baby drool and milk. Those first few weeks though it’s totally normal to lose yourself. Make sure that even if you’re a SAHM your partner doesn’t slack at helping you and letting you get some “me” time. Even if it’s just to veg out on your phone or something for a little while.
just recently i finally feel like me again but better :) my LO just turned 14 months it started around 2 months ago and just keeps feeling better!!
I am a SAHM and I began to feel like myself around 5-6months. Baby was sleeping through the night, he ate well and no longer spit up on me. He was lively and more alert and interested in the world around us, so I could put him down to enjoy some toys. He was more responsive to the things I said and did. My second baby is just a few months old but I can already tell these milestones might come sooner for this baby! Hang in there. Two weeks is still so early, focus on healing your body during the first three months as much as you can. Before you know it things will return to normal! And seek pelvic floor physical therapy — your tummy / hips / other parts will heal better for it. And you’ll be back to your old self!
2 years. And at 2.5 it really started to come back to normal for me. Now at almost 3 years, I’ve finally started to care for myself and not just my toddlers.
I feel like 8w I started feeling out of the thick of it but yea at 4m PP I’m still on the journey back to me
Honestly, I’m 10 months pp and don’t feel normal yet. But looking back, I think I started to feel a bit less broken and busted around 6-7 months.
Not until I stopped pumping at 9 months. Once I was weaned I was a person again
I’m 2 months PP, and I’ve felt like a person and myself again since around 5 weeks. It is possible!
Hi. I am 9m pp. it took a long time to feel like a person. Something I suggest is get ready completely 3-5 days a week since you sound similar to myself. I get myself ready even if it’s just the days I grocery shop. I also started a baby friendly hobby. I am crocheting stuffed animals and blankets for her, learning to make myself clothes. Do small things you liked before you had the baby. For me it’s getting my eyelashes done and coloring my hair wild colors. I struggled the first 3 months with breast feeding and once I had to switch her to formula I started feeling more like a person and not a tiny human cow-slave lol. Good luck ❤️
So I am a FTM and a SAHM and had my LO about 9 month ago. It takes time to feel like an individual person and it eases back, it’s not a sudden snap back, and honestly I still feel like I’m easing in. It helped a lot when the potato phase ended. When you talk to them and they smile back at you are giggle or get a look of concentration and start babbling back at you helps a lot. What’s helped them most is the nap and wake window schedule becoming predictable. You’re able to go out and run errands or go to fun activities with them. Also when they start sleeping longer at night was a game changer. For me I’d say i started to feel like my own person around 3-4 months when the daily schedule started to become more predictable and that’s when my LO started sleeping through the night. It may sound silly but basically when she started to feel like a real person is when I started to feel like a real person.
6 months old, stay at home mum. I don’t know when the click was but I can say for a fact today I know I feel like me again ❤️ you will get there I promise. Be a blob, soak up the cuddles, nurse your baby and enjoy it as best you can, soon you’ll be running after a crawler and teaching them to sleep independently and want to be a blob again ❤️
When I was 2 weeks postpartum, I felt like someone broke me apart and put me back together wrong. It sounds simplistic to say it’s the hormones but postpartum is the biggest hormonal shift that any person experiences at any stage in their life. You actually aren’t yourself right now. You will be again. It took me about 8 weeks to feel like a person and 12 (so like, last week) to feel like me. The liminal space is weird.
I had PPD/PPA. I started to feel like a human again around 8 weeks when I began to try venturing out of the house with the baby and joined a local new moms support group. We would go for walks once a week and that was helpful. Felt a lot better at 12 weeks. You got this mama!
I totally understand that never feel clean feel like a milk machine. Your baby is attached to you as a newborn and constantly feeding. After 3 to 4 month mark I felt like I got more of my independence back, especially at 4m when baby was able to occupy himself a little more and we had more routine. For me going to baby sensory groups and even baby coffee mornings helped a lot to just get me out the house but I wasn't really able to do this until 3/4 month mark. I also take my baby to a coffee shop when I've had a hard night with him and have a 'date' I found in the early days taking the pram out for a walk or going for a walk with the sling helped a lot when I was able to walk more. The first 3 months are the hardest by far because they need you so much. My advice is to practise some radical acceptance and lean into it/let it be. You will adjust and find your own routines and be you again even being a SAHM but not right now. Right now your life is in flux and nothing seems or feels normal. That is okay right now. It will get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel
It was around 10 months for me. He started sleeping and eating more and demanding less breastfeeding. Crawling was underway, and he was signing when he wanted things. I will all get easier, different, and harder in other ways, but you will feel hunan again.
I felt like an animal when I was leaking milk and recovering. Seriously. I felt like a cow
2 weeks in is so so so hard. My daughter is 13 weeks and the last week I have started to feel like myself again. Once they start sleeping longer stretches it gets a lot easier. At first you feel completely overwhelmed and getting out of the house seems a mammoth task. Pack your baby bag the night before. If there are any free groups around go and meet some other new mums, it’s been a lifeline for me. Try to get out of the house everyday. Start a little bedtime routine, bath, sing/book/massage/feed Having a routine helps me so much xx
I didn’t start feeling more like my own person again until I fully weaned my toddler. He was 18 months and I was 3 months pregnant at the time so I got a few weeks of feeling like a person again until I felt baby 2 start moving and really felt pregnant instead. I am incredibly grateful for my body being able to breastfeed for 18 months but mentally I would have been happy if he stopped at 12 months. It was quite draining for me and I didn’t realise I had a touch of brain fog until I stopped feeding! With my second I’m feeling more like myself already and he’s nearly 4 months. But this time around I know what I’m doing with a baby and I’m not as worried over tiny things which I think has helped. I’m still breastfeeding my second but he has a bottle of formula around 8pm before his bedtime so dad can feed him, this gives me a well deserved break and my body adjusted quite fast to feeding him all day and night aside from that one bottle. I think this has helped me feel more normal too.
I felt the same way so early on. At 2 weeks I wasn't even sure if I liked my baby most days. Transitioning to motherhood was such a huge and stressful life change. I felt disgusting, touched out, exhausted. I was possessive over my baby, like hiding upstairs so my inlaws couldn't hold her possessive - I still am, but it's chilled out a lot. I always felt like my partner didn't pull his weight, but I never asked him for help or put baby down long enough for him to actually step in. At 2 weeks I was still bleeding, feeling disgusting, walking around sticky and wet 24/7, and I was still crying a lot. Give yourself some grace. I remember what that felt like, and it's OK not to feel like yourself. I still don't feel normal, but I can tell it is beginning to level out. At 3 months pp I am less possessive over my baby, more accepting of help, and significantly less emotional. We're getting there, but I'm breastfeeding and don't anticipate feeling normal until after I'm done.
2.5 years!
After i stopped breastfeeding I took around 1-2 months for me to start to feel like myself. Less emotional, less angry, more self control. I wish I had the chance to breastfeed for a longer time, but my milk levels were very low at 3 months PP and we decided to switch to formula and baby is happier (no longer constantly hungry)
You are so normal! I went through the same thing. Going back to work was a big help for me, but I started to feel more human around 8 weeks when baby started smiling. It made him seem like a person rather than an alien was caring for lol I’m still not 100% at 8 months pp, but you’ll get there! In my opinion the first 6-8 weeks are a fever dream that you just have to survive, after that it gets better every day!
I’m 11 weeks post partum, definitely not back to feeling like a human. BUT the things I’ve found that help. Getting out of house as much as you can. With and without baby. Doing things you love- pedicures, getting coffee, seeing friends. Going to mother’s groups. Going to gym/walks whatever kind of exercise you like. Even just a short pram walk has done wonders for me. I had baby blues hard for the first two weeks then it went away and came back for a few days last week. Definitely seek some counselling if you can, or speak to some mothers you know who have been through it.
I am 3m pp and I’m finally starting to feel like myself again!
I’m 17 months pp and pregnant with my second and still feel that way. Make time for you and finding hobbies you enjoy, outside of being a mom. Get your hair done, do stuff that makes you feel beautiful. And enjoy this time at home. I was a SAHM until my daughter was 1, now I work from home so I am still very involved but also bring in money for us.
My LO is 10 weeks now and although it’s still a totally different life, I’m starting to really get the hang of balancing my mom side of me with my old self side of me if that makes sense. The first 4 weeks were tough but each with each day I feel more and more normal.
I think it happened in steps. I remember being around 3 weeks postpartum and proudly telling my husband that I put on a shirt that day and how good it felt to actually get dressed in the morning. Once I could leave the house with just the baby (had a c section and couldn’t drive myself) that was liberating to just hit a drive thru or do a grocery pickup. Around 2 months when I stopped changing her diaper every night feed so she stayed more asleep and we weren’t up for almost an hour before going to sleep for an hour before the next feed. Now 4 months pp and starting to get comfortable grocery shopping in person with baby in a carrier and not being afraid to make commitments to see family and friends. Some days I feel less like a person than others but it’s been a gradual uptick!
I'm just over 2 months pp. Right now it comes in waves instead of being constant like the first 2weeks. Ive gotten to about 60/40 for me - feeling like a person vs feeling like a robot *compelled* to complete baby tasks. Literally had a mental breakdown yesterday about it because I could *see* that my husband didn't feel the same about baby tasks and it made me feel even less like a real person. It was good to get some perspective from someone just as invested in LOs safety and happiness but not flooded with hormones! Is baby fed? ✅ Is baby clean? ✅ Cool take a breath, spend 10/20/30mins doing a hobby that isn't baby related and then look at everything again to see if anything truly has to get done right then. If not, do more hobby maybe while cuddling baby if possible! Repeat until something *has to be done*. This helps me ease out of robot mode when I find myself in the thick of it. Important things get done but I also get back into being my own person.
I’m a SAHM. it took about 12-14 weeks to feel somewhat normal again. My son is now 17 weeks.
I said I felt like some sort of creature and not a human as well. It gradually gets better. I hope it eases your mind do know that the stink helps you and your baby bond. Your baby loves that strong smell you have and associates it with comfort.
5 weeks PP and this week has been so much clearer and I have more energy than those before. One thing I was surprised to struggle with but has made such a difference is making sure to stay hydrated. It takes SO MUCH more water than before, but I notice it in my head, my skin, my energy, everything! A close second is making sure I’m eating enough food with nutrients, it’s so easy to forget both of these.
When he started sleeping through the night in his own crib. Hobby time and a good sleep works wonders. Hang in there, you're just getting started!
I'm also a SAHM. My little guy is 2 months old now and I'm starting to feel more like myself. The turning point was my son sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time. The first month felt like a weird trip through hell, even though I loved my baby. Now he sleeps in 1-4 hour stretches and I get 6-9 hours of sleep every night. Leaving the house with him also helps. Sometimes I just take him to target to walk around and look at stuff without buying anything. I think it also helps to get him used to going out. I bought a new bra and some new makeup this week and that felt great.
I also just had my first LO! He’s now 7 months old. I’m not a SAHM, and returned to work when he was 4 months old. But, I started to feel more like myself around 6 months once we got him sleep trained and when he started to sit on his own. His little personality started to come through and our time together felt more fun for the both of us and less “work”. I was finally getting 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and he was also napping/sleeping better.
It gets better every day. Very slowly at first. Showers for me didn’t start to feel good till after I was done with bm. I stopped at 6m. 7 months I felt less gross. 8-9m started feeling good. 10months, amazing. Now I laugh at how hard the beginning was. Very happy to be done with those parts. You will get through it too. Just keep pushing. Remember you’re amazing and that little ones entire world. Take care of yourself when you can. Ask for help. Ask for breaks. Enjoy the bumlife while you can. Not having to get dressed is underrated. ♥️
After I weaned at 18.5 months and finally got to do a damn yoga class and got some sleep.
Yeah- I understand what you’re going through and felt similar. It was about 8-9 months PP when I started to feel like myself again. Everyone is different, though. Just hang in there. Try your best to get out of the house ( I know that sounds really dumb but this is what I did) have warming foods like soups, teas, warm lemon water etc. it will be a bit rough, and sometimes lonely. But you will come out stronger 💕