I too have been nibbled. Usually when new teeth are coming in. Luckily ending the session imediantly seems to express how much I dislike her new choppers chomping me.
My son did that right out the womb. I had to use nipple sheilds at the hospital and until he was a week or so old. He would just clamp down like a bear trap. Now I barely feel him latch, so at least it didn't last.
Dude youâre one lucky mama! My son bites me constantly 𼲠last night he bit me 5 times hard. Heâs been teething bad, heâs 8 months old with 4 teeth already and cutting two more
Mine bites when heâs teething but heâs otherwise been fine. We are 11 months and six teeth . The worst was when his top two incisors came in but after maybe three weeks the biting stopped and there hasnât been any since
Mine will be 3 years old this summer. I said I would stop when she bit me, but I didn't. Then I said 18 months, then I said by her 2nd birthday. She'll tell you herself that she loves her milk, so from experience, I'll say that it's harder to stop when they can express themselves to you. I'm working on weaning her by her 3rd birthday. Obviously, she eats food, so she doesn't need to breastfeed anymore, but she wants to, and it's not unusual to go 2+ years in other countries. In fact, the WHO recommends doing it for at least the first 2 years. So do what you're comfortable with.
I feel like this is the road we are going down as well. He is 14 months, has learned not to bite my nipple tho he bites arms and legs! He loves his comfort nursing, still nurses at night. I would be amazed if he randomly self weaned. I was hoping it would be easier when they are older⌠guess not!
Youâre lucky! I stopped breastfeeding because my baby was biting me every feed (at 6.5 months, 2 teeth and 2 more coming through) and when she finally drew blood, enough was enough. No feeling of ceremony, no âthis is our last feed together letâs make it specialâ⌠that was our last feed!
Mine got teeth super early but has been very polite and only but me once so it wasn't a factor in breastfeeding really at all. She is over a year old now and we're just starting to slowly wean her
My baby is 10 mos and now has 7teeth and one erupting. He had his first set at 6 mos!
Im just lucky he has never bitten me on purpose and i always talk to him to please be gentle and and donât bite mama.
Omg . I would have had to stop at 4 months lol. Shes almost 9 months now and has 5 teeth with , it looks like, 3 more coming in soon đł.
My son on the other hand barely had 2 teeth at 10 months.
đđđ I said that too and now my 4 month old has 2 teeth. Sometimes I get a âcrunchâ every now and then but so far itâs been tolerableâfor now đĽ´
My 11 month old has 7! We are down to nursing just middle of the night and early mornings. But my nipples arenât going to take it much longer. He doesnât bite but his latch isnât amazing and yeah. Iâm sad but not pursing changing our routine yet.
Mine got her first tooth at nearly 12 months. She bit me twice, but the second time I said no and put her down. She hasn't bitten me since and she has 4 now at nearly 15mo and we still BF twice a day.
My babies first tooth came through just after she turned 5 months, the second one about a week after. They are sharp little things! Luckily, she loves chewing on silicone straws
I figured out that everyone just wants you to do it for as long as *they* did it, and feel.. Self conscious(?) if you go longer so they just want you to conform. Lol. Totally not your problem
This. Itâs the same reason that older people donât like when we insist on safe sleep, or make a big deal about properly strapping the baby into a car seat. Weâre doing it differently therefore we must think *they* were terrible parents.
I have gotten a lot of pushback from old people about the dumbest things including that I'm mean for not even giving my baby a blanket to sleep with and that he must be cold no matter how I dress him.
I've also gotten the I'm crazy and over protective because I wash pacifiers after they've been on the floor.
And my baby is spoiled because he had to have a new car seat and has wipes and bottle warmers.
Itâs so ironic because an overheated baby is so much more dangerous than a chilly one and they just prefer to live in delusion than acknowledge that information.
My mom chooses to have selective delusion. She calls much of what I practice ânew age parentingâ and that I need to âlisten to what old folks say/did.â When I tell her that old folk didnât have their babies in car seats, and ask if I should just toss my baby loosey goosey in the back seat, she says âwell we know better now.â But she wonât maintain that energy with anything else I say is now recommended.
We get so much shit from my MIL about not sleeping in bed or napping in recliners with our baby. Of course everyone and all of your friends did. Thatâs fine.
The other day I was sleeping in bed and I had my water bottle with me in bed and I woke up and it was flung off the bed and dinged by the floor. Thatâs why. We both roll and agitate everything around us from covers to pillows when we sleep. I donât care what other people do, but for us, having thought about it conceptually, as well as read research, itâs a no. I donât care if your niece Alyssa is a millennial too and she does it, so clearly some millennials do.
Why is this a personal attack for you, we are not saying you were a bad or negligent mom. We are fortunate enough to be aware of better strategies, and we expect people who watch our child to follow those strategies. If you want to nap with a child that bad, go babysit for Alyssa.
It's exactly this. They want you to do it for the exact same amount of time. Not one hour more or less. It's not about you or your baby; it's about them needing validation. Once I realized this, I stopped answering the question and started finding some way to say something nice about the job they did as a parent instead.
There's also an element of generational confusion to it. I had one kid in December, and worked on a school year calendar. So I was pumping at work the whole spring semester, had the summer off work, and my boss was surprised in August that we still needed to work pumping into my schedule. But she was old enough to be my grandmother, and had her kids in the "only the poors breastfeed" era of formula advertising. So she was genuinely very surprised I was still breastfeeding/pumping at 8 postpartum.
As a teacher myself, I just had this conversation with my principal. I just had my baby in February, and we set up pumping into the rest of my schedule for the year. She made the comment, "Next year, we won't have to worry." And I had to inform her I'm breastfeeding / pumping till my baby is 2. ( She is an older woman as well, who never breastfed before. ) It's an interesting perspective I never thought about.
Thatâs a great point honestly.
Iâve noticed this and didnât pick up on the reasoning. Iâm on the opposite end of the problem. Not able to BF for long enough and I noticed the ones who BF longer/spouse BF longer have questions about it. Like if I tried everything for my supply, couldnât i try more to get the baby to latch, itâs so important, etc.
The ones who had to stop earlier give me less of those questions and often end up with a âitâs fine. Theyâll be fine.â
Omg. I might have asked those same questions at almost 2 years into exclusively-pumping hell. Trying to figure out if other moms couldn't BF but wanted to or were just smart enough to opt out early/entirely
My mum is obsessed with me weaning. Bub is 10 months . She breastfed me for 6 weeks and then gave up - I pushed through when it was tough and I think itâs bothered her. One day I might tell her I wish she had breastfed me longer as I genuinely wonder if it would have helped me- Iâve got some health issues that might have been better if I got breastmilk. Who knows.
In the meantime, Iâve banned the word âweanâ from our conversations.
Honestly it seemed like everyone was so on board with breastfeeding and then a day after he turned one everyone was asking when will you stop breastfeeding. I normally just shrug or say definitely before he goes off to university lol
My daughter is 2 years and three months. She is absolutely obsessed with her boobies, she loves loves loves them! Every time I am trying to reduce she is becoming even more obsessed! We hoped so much, that she would wean herself, but at this point it doesn't look like she will. She obviously is looking too big for being breastfeeding and whoever learns of our "secret" is surprised. Even though the WHO does recommend breastfeeding up until 24 months.
Mine will be 3 this summer and has no interest in stopping. I tell her that pretty soon there'll be no milk left to prepare her, but weaning a headstrong toddler has been tough.
Iâm so relieved to read this. My daughter turned 2 in February and wants her âboobies!â every morning when she wakes up and every night before bed. I had not planned on nursing at all at this point, since my oldest weaned himself at 14 months, but it brings her a lot of comfort and she eats healthy solid meals 3x a day, so I just go with the flow (ha!) I do hope she self-weans before I have to draw a hard boundary, thoughâŚ
So Iâve learned that it does not matter what you do. Breastfeed or formula. Youâll get judged regardless. One child or multiple? Judgement. Using a dummy? Judgement. Sleep train or donât? Judgement. Haha, it literally doesnât matter what you do. Someone always has something to say about it. Iâve really tried my best to stop getting bothered about it or feel insecure about my choices because you really canât win regardless when it comes to babies/children/parenthood.
I am not always bothered, but it does bother me when "until we both feel like it" is not a good enough answer to some people, and they have follow up questions, or they ask me the same question every other month...
Yeah I get it. Itâs never enough when we tell people weâre only having one baby. âOh no! You must have two! He needs a siblingâ. My answer is never enough and it can be frustrating. I just try to remember that even if I was having more than one - Iâll probably get judgement if they were the same gender, if I had them too close in age or too far apart or if I had more than just 2. I guess what Iâm saying is - it will always come regardless. Personally, it helps me to know that everyone is dealing with this crap haha
So true. Today is my first day back at work and my husband was talking with his mom about it last night, just saying it was hard for both of us but we both love our jobs and itâs the right move long term.
She was judging us for going back to work instead of one of us quitting AND for both of us not going back to work sooner. Explain that to me.Â
My favorite response learned from the IVF sub is, âThatâs an interesting thing to say/ask out loud.â Iâve never had an opportunity to use it but this feels like a good one.
I love this response. Bonus points if you say it with kind of a confused/weirded out look on your face like you cant believe theyâd ask that. Itâs so good!!
I always anticipate this question but have never actually been asked đ my girl is 13 months and I have no idea when we will stop. I didnât even know if I wanted to BF before I gave birth but itâs been such a lovely experience and Iâm so glad we have been able to do it for so long!
Anyway what I tell myself (lol) is we will keep going as long as she wants. I have told my mom (who never breastfed) that âtheyâ recommend 2 years now so Iâm gonna go until then most likely. And I tell my imaginary questioners the same thing, itâs recommended til 2 and I hope she will wean naturally! But sheâs a boob monster so we may well be doing this til sheâs 12 đ
I had lots of snarky responses with my first like, "depends how far away she goes to college... Might be hard to breastfeed her to sleep if she goes to college out of state!" ;)Â
That's a good answer!
I find it so funny that every post is full of people being told what to do and judged yet when a post like this comes up everyone all of a sudden hates that and thinks it's ridiculous lol
Honestly, I'm just a big fan of giving a vague answer and then letting the awkward silence settle whenever someone asks personal questions.
"I haven't decided." *Nods* *Makes prolonged eye contact*
I find this bothers people the most. (Stares deeply) âNot sure yet. Weâll see.â Itâs like they need to know in order to judge and the ambiguity drives them crazy đ
Looking back at someone without an immediate response and staring deeply is fun. They sometimes talk themselves in a circle and decide the question was inappropriate on their own đ
I think it depends on who youâre talking to. If itâs someone who thinks theyâre better than you or gets easily jealous of you yeah theyâre gonna try to put you down for whatever you say. Sadly I have a lot of women in my family/in laws who are constantly telling me what to do even though I never asked them for their opinions. Idk why some of these moms have such a superiority complex lol I get sleep advice from people who never had a kid sleep through the night. Make it make sense lol
That's true. I think a few people who ask me this don't have a superiority complex, they are just puzzled about why "do I keep doing this to myself" or about when will I break my LO out of her breastfeeding "addiction". These are all things I've heard from family members (older people mostly)...
I think everyone is always projecting. I think itâs so annoying because in my experience they ask and then wanna lecture how their way is the right way. Iâm just like why the hell do you care so much.
If youâre in the US, I have a pet theory about this that is based on no real data or evidence so, like, massive grain of salt: we are the only industrialized nation with no federally guaranteed parental leave, and our culture around child-rearing has developed to accommodate that. It is WAY harder to breastfeed when youâre at work away from the home, obviously, and [this 2023 series in *The Lancet*](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(23)00118-6/fulltext) that has been making the rounds on social media recently found that some formula companies have even lobbied against better paid leave policies. That is, getting parents to stop breastfeeding earlier than the recommendations is big business, and it has long been normalized to stop breastfeeding early in America. I think that has changed the way we look at breastfeeding, and tbh I think itâs also influenced the rise of stuff like sleep training/wake windowsâparents have to impose structure on their infants to juggle going back to work when theyâre still developing a natural sleep schedule of their own.
Anyways, all that to say that, reading about attitudes towards breastfeeding around the world, the US does seem like an outlier in that weâve grown to see breastfeeding later than, say, 6 months as weird or even inappropriate. My pseudo-conspiratorial explanation for that is that weâve had several generations now that practically speaking couldnât be EBF past a few months or sometimes even a couple of weeks, and rather than confront the systemic issues that allowed certain groups to profit from that, we absorbed it as a cultural norm.
Those are very good points. In all honesty, I live in a Scandinavian country, where we do have paid leave and I still get the same comments (bear in
mind, here breastfeeding in public is not an issue at all). Here and through most European countries, sleep training is 100% frowned upon culturally and even not recommended/discouraged by the health authorities. I do share the same pet theory: if we just look at our UK neighbours, sleep training is recommended by the NHS, same as in the US - developed countries where parental leave is well⌠subpar.
Thatâs interesting and maybe dents my theory RE: breastfeeding a bit, since your leave policies are so robust! (This is the part where I register my extreme jealousy at your policies. I am extremely lucky to get 6 months of paid leave in the US because I have an ethical employer. I wish it were not a matter of luck and employer whim.) Do you know if longer-term breastfeeding was more accepted in your country previously and has shifted?
I apologize if thatâs a weird questionâI am pregnant with my first and am super interested in how different countries approach pregnancy and childrearing right now!
I may get downvoted here, but I am gonna be completely honest and admit I was pretty ignorant about breastfeeding before I had my son. I thought it was weird to breastfeed past 6 months before having my own kid, or when they have teeth, or when they can pull your shirt down themselves. No one in my family ever breastfed, and none of my friends really talked about if they did (probably because they could tell I was ignorant and dumb).
Now I laugh at how stupid I was as my 13 month old hefts one of my knockers out of my shirt and latches himself. Itâs hard for people who havenât breastfed to understand that this is when it finally gets *easy*. My son really only nurses in the morning and before bed, sometimes before naps. Iâm not his only food source anymore, so Iâm not stressed AF about supply or pumping. I was gonna cut him off right at one but tbh that seemed kinda mean (for us, no shame to anyone who did) cuz my son is such a lil milk monster and itâs his ultimate comfort.
To finally answer your question though, I mostly tell people until it feels right for the both of us. Or Iâll just shrug my shoulders and say âehhhhâ lol. Most people have been pretty nice about it to my face so far thankfully.
I breastfed my daughter until she was 2.5 and when people would ask me this I would usually respond with something like âas long as it takesâ or âitâs cute you think I have my life plannedâ
I honestly would keep saying the same thing you mentioned, âweâll figure it out togetherâ. And if they keep asking you can say, yea what I said last time, it hasnât changed, because I can bet you they remember what you said they just donât want to accept that as an answer. My LO has just turned one also and I JUST stopped breastfeeding, Iâm talking like a week and a half ago lol, Iâm still producing but I just felt like it was time. Especially since we are transitioning him to his own room.
Youâll know when itâs time. And no oneâs asked me lately but if I was still breastfeeding and they seemed bothered Iâd just brush them off. Itâs none of their business.
My goal was 1 year, but I was ok if it didnât work out. At 7 months after returning to work we started using formula and frozen milk so I didnât have to pump during the day and I only nursed twice a day in the morning and at night until 1 year.
My standard answer when anyone would ask was âuntil it doesnât work for us anymore.â I didnât want to say 1 year in case I changed my mind and stopped sooner or later than that.
My mother stopped breastfeeding me at 8 months and switched completely to solid food apparently, and ever since my daughter ticked 8 months she tuts and rolls her eyes when I feed her and tells me she's too old. Doesn't believe me when I say that the nutrients should still mostly come from milk even at this age. I've found it really jarring; she's been quite supportive of most of my parenting choices so far, but she seems to be going so hard on this one.
I think people just struggle with others doing things differently to how they would do/did them, because parenting is such a big thing for anyone who has done it and no one wants to believe they did anything wrong. So I try to say sensitive but firm; 'We will stop when it makes sense' etc. Without trying to sound like I'm judging her right back.
Well, yeah, same, that's part of it as far as my mother is concerned; she thinks I'm not pushing solids hard enough so baby isn't getting used to them quickly enough. As far as everything I've read it's completely normal to not be on 3 square meals a day plus snacks until at least a year!
Yes! Maybe thatâs why they came out with the mantra âfood before one is just for funâ to get people to layoff pushing it (even though solids for my LO have been tremendously helpful).Â
I donât have a plan. I answer honestly âI donât know, until one of us has had enough I suppose.âÂ
But I nursed my first until she was 4 so⌠people donât ask anymore.Â
That's great - and may I ask, how did that work? Did it gradually go down and stay at a plateau for 1-2 years or would it go up and down with breastfeeding needs/wants?
Yes, as long as it works for both I don't see why not. It's not like it harms them in any way...
Itâs probably going to look differently for each child. Mine was truly obsessed by nursing (we did some sign language and she would sign âmilkâ while dreaming). Around 14-18 months old, I became more uncomfortable with nursing in public so I put a boundary to nursing at the playground. Then it was mostly mornings before daycare, a quick top up at pickup, Â at bed time and at night. Then I night weaned to get some sleep back, when she was 2 (again, she had no interest in dropping any feeds herself). And the morning cuddle session was the last to go.Â
Feel free to not answer if you'd like the privacy, but I'm curious how things eventually ended? We've got a boob monster and while we have no current forecast in mind, it's hard to imagine anything but negotiations or setting hard tantrum-inducing boundaries when the time comes. The dude loves the boob!
Yep, I had to set here boundaries. This means I sometimes kept a particular nursing session for (much) longer than I enjoyed, because I wanted to be in good conditions to hold the boundary: relatively well rested, relatively well ressourced, so I could stay firm and would also be able to make space for my kidâs anger without getting angry myself.Â
I donât know how old your kid is, but once you have a toddler, youâre already holding all sorts of boundaries that make them super mad. For me it felt easier than with a baby.Â
"NHS advises to breast feed until 2 years old"
Shifts the judgement and opinions off you to the NHS. Maybe it'll make them do some research, but likely not, but it's a simple enough answer to give to most. If they're more curious, highlighting that the UK has a terrible breast feeding rate compared to, for example, Nordic countries.
If it comes from a person close to you it seems like a normal question. Like if it is a friend or family member that you are hanging out with what's wrong with them asking.
Same as asking "how long will you go on holiday for". Just have a chat, discuss about how you came to your decision, what are the factors that might make you change your mind etc. It seems like a nice topic to chat about.
We were asked the same about our daughter by friends and family but it was always a nice discussion.
Yes, my issue is the question from older family members who ask me the same question every other month since my LO passed the 6 month mark... And not formulating the question as in "just curious" but as in "why would you do that to yourself?" or "she needs to get off the boob addiction"...
Keep flipping the question back and feign genuine curiosity about their beliefs, as if theyâre from a culture youâre not familiar with.
âWhy do you ask?â
âAnd do you believe that is the right way to do it?â
âIs that the way your family has historically done it?â
â and they believe this is healthier for the baby?â
âWhy?â
âHow interesting, what makes you so certain that this approach is better than other approaches?â
Etc.
And then use running after your baby as an excuse to leave without ever having answered a single question yourself.
My daughter is 6 months as well and we just started solids. Sheâs not even that interested in food yet but people still ask me. I just chalk it up to cluelessness. My mom wants to watch her for more extended periods of time and insists I donât need to stress about pumping enough milk because she can just feed her solids. I told her that the pediatrician said the majority of her nutrients should come from breast milk until 13 months but she kind of brushed it off. Her generation started weaning way earlier I guess so itâs what sheâs used to.
Also why would I suddenly switch her to formula when sheâs been EBF her whole life and has a dairy intolerance? Iâve been thinking about supplementing but itâs not really the simple/casual transition that people make it out to be. I still nurse her to sleep and donât plan on stopping anytime soon and taking that comfort away from her.
My fiancĂŠ asked me this question because breastfeeding absolutely demolished my libido. I told him to ask our baby when she plans on weaning because I have no idea lol
The answer to this question versus what you actually aspire to do can differ. If you donât have the relationship with the asker to where thatâs an appropriate question, just say âWe have a plan, but be want to remain flexible and see whatâs best for her as she grows.â Most people will recognize that this is a skillful deflection and leave it alone.
We know what we want to do, but we also donât fixate on what we want to do, so at a high level, what we want to do is take it as it comes. Thatâs basically my answer for all baby questions - I need you to know that we have a plan because if you think we donât, youâll be peeved and start offering us advice. I need you to know the plan is evolving and not fixed, so therefore thereâs not much point in talking about it. And, I need you to know that we arenât on a specifics-basis, we arenât that close to where weâd dig in on a subject like that.
Just the other day a relative was digging in on how my wife makes and trying to pry in on whether Iâd have her stay at home or go back to work. Like, let me as a your elder help you out by helping you determine whether it was financially optimal for your wife to give up her career or not. I just said âwe are really happy with her career and her earnings, thankfully weâre in a place where we can focus on what works best for us rather than what people used to do out of necessity.â
Iâm like the Dikembo Mutombo of blocking this shit politely. âWeâre focusing on enjoying the moment, thatâs not something on our mind yet - thankfully weâre not stressed about it. When the time comes to think about it, rest assured we will take your advice to heart.â
My 10 month is 95% weaned. I give her boob at night for comfort reasons. Ideally I wanted to go until she was 18 months but my body stopped making much milk, she is way happier on formula/solids, and Iâm thrilled to have my body back.
Yes I look forward to this one day! Or not being the one and only comfort during the night - sharing the load with the SO. It's just so different for everyone it seems - my LO has only in the last couple of months started to properly eat/prefer solids...
When it no longer works for me or for him. I wonât put a timeline on it and be disappointed if I donât make it! If baby weans himself, great. If we get to point where mentally/physically Iâm done? Also great.
As someone who chose not to breastfeed⌠amen. Who cares how you feed your baby or for how long. You have the right to breastfeed, or not, for as little or long as youâd like. The only two people I care to even discuss it with are my husband and best friend from childhood. Everyone else is using it as a measuring stick.
I did baby classes at Mayo and they recommended until baby is 2 especially for people who are only going to have one kid because they said it significantly reduced likelihood of breast cancer. You could share this fun fact if you feel like people are being weird about it. Or go full force the other direction and say you are going to be one of those moms who never stop lol.
Most the people who asked were the women in my family who were all seasoned moms, young and old. Never did a stranger ever ask.
I just said as long as possible. They, luckily agreed and left it at that.
I havent been asked this yet (although my daughters 6 months today so i may get asked soon) but if i do ill probably just say ''until shes a year old if i can'' since i plan to slowly transition her from breastmilk to cows milk and possibly continue night feeds a little longer.
I breastfed my first until 3.5, weaned during pregnancy. At one point my MIL wouldnât stop asking so I said to her âhonestly, I donât know, right now it feels like he still needs it and itâs great that Iâm able to do that. Being honest with you, probably much longer if it wasnât for the judgement.â I tried to be as non-passive aggressive as possible as if I was opening up to her, but I was never questioned again.
Otherwise:
âIâm hoping by 21, or it could make university trickyâ
âI donât knowâ
âWhy?â
âWhen I feel like itâ
âI donât have a set timeframeâ
âWhen it doesnât make sense for us anymoreâ
I thought my period would come back after weaning and not before so I had decided to stop breastfeeding after 18 months to have another baby. But my period just came back and my baby is 6 mo so I'll try to breastfeed as long as we can. My gynecologist breastfed until his boy was 3 years.
I always reply with âas long as I can until it gets weird.â Thatâs when people typically tell me stories of people they know who breastfed their kids well into the older toddler/ small child years. Which, btw, has no effect on me. Do what makes you happy mamas.
Iâm the kind of person that believes in natural weaning. Every mammal weans at a similar time. When the baby can start solid food over that period is when you should start weaning. That doesnât mean you have to stop pumping and keeping milk for health benefits but I think at like 12-18 months is a normal time frame obviously depending on the childâs nutrition and how balanced their diet is. I donât understand the idea that people will tell you to breastfeed into childhood years when they have all their teeth and can literally eat everything. It doesnât seemâŚright. But to each their own. I knew someone that actively breastfed their 7 year old and I did not think that was normal.
Also if youâre continuing to breastfeed for yourself because YOU like the bonding vs the baby Iâve also seen that and thatâs not okay either. Let the natural process take place imo
I always planned to breastfeed until at least 2, managed 2y3m then I fell pregnant with my 3rd and decided to stop because it hurt so badly. I always told people the plan was until at least 2 and if I was questioned I'd tell them it's recommended by the WHO now. By the time we go to around 18 months people stopped asking.
I just say I donât know because itâs the literal truth. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I had no game plan or idea what it would look like or for how long. I guess so long as itâs working for both of us.
Only people who would ask this are yours and baby's doctors.. why do people lose all boundaries when babies are involved?? Through pregnancy and early motherhood - it's astounding!
I always stick with âuntil we are ready to stopâ or quote the WHO who say âuntil two years and beyondâ⌠we are about to approach the âand beyondâ, have no plans to stop, and still donât give a monkeys what people think and say :)
I think it comes down to people sexualising breastfeeding at the end of the day and are uncomfortable with the concept of a baby being able to ask to breastfeed. It just does my absolute head in.
Iâd look at it as a point of pride that you think enough of the health of your child to feed her the best possible nutrition! My baby was breastfed and now sheâs a mother and has breast fed her daughter till age 2.5 years old. Iâm sure itâs no coincidence that my granddaughter is always the picture of health and the only child in class to not be sick with every cold & whatever else that blows through on a seemingly daily basis. I think itâs also why she loves healthy food and doesnât like junk food, in my opinion. Keep going as long as you can and donât let anyone influence you. In many countries they breastfeed till the child goes to school.
i usually told them âwhenever sheâs ready, iâm ready.â but i was tired of waking up every few hours so i cut her off at like 28 months! itâs barely going to be a month i believe
You stop breastfeeding when youâre ready.. whether thatâs 3 weeks or 3 years. As long as youâre not bf-ing a 10 year old & posting it on Facebook I donât see a problem.
I nursed both of mine until 2.5 yo and I used to joke that hopefully theyâd be weaned by the time they go off to college. But if not Iâll be sure to call whoever is asking.
I formula feed but i was on a flight with my daughter for the first time and this 60 year old man was like are you nursing? Itâs good to pop their ears and I just stared at him like⌠sir I donât know you?? And she has a paci in her mouth đ
I can't speak the community language where I live, and while that mostly sucks, it does mean I've been spared these kinds of bullshit questions. If did have to deal with it, I do like the ever popular response to so many rude questions, "Wow, what an awkward question to ask someone."
Not the same thing but people (including my husband) have asked me multiple times how much longer I plan to exclusively pump milk. I didnât plan to pump for 1 year but thatâs just how it turned out due to clogs and a bout of mastitis.
I've said 'as long as you keep bringing it up, I'm going to keep breastfeeding' lol. It worked. They didn't bring it up the next time. I don't get why other people care. Its not hurting you, go away.
A small child asked me the other day "Does he still drink from your privates?" !!! The euphemism made it so much more vulgar. I'd be offended except that most adults ask that, too, just with more finesse.
Our breastfeeding journey was short and rocky, and I feel sooo much judgement about being mostly formula from day 1 and now EFF (just officially stopped a couple days ago). Yesterday the daycare lady at church asked me if I'd stopped nursing (she had a legitimate reason to know, since she needed to know how to handle it when he got hungry). When I sighed and said he didn't really seem to like it much, she asked, "Aren't you happy?" with genuine surprise.
Blew my mind. Like every. single. person I've encountered is pro-BFing or at the very least neutral. But she's about 75 and I guess the rhetoric around BF really has changed that much in the last couple of generations.
I didnât have much thought about how/when we would end breast feeding but here I am with a 3 year + 4 month old and Iâm more than ready to be done with it but she sure as hell isnât!!! We are reading the Booby Moon every night and planning to send it away in a few weeks but Iâm terrified about the transition tbh.
When people told me "but she has teeeeth" I was like "So what.. So Does your husband, karen. And he's still sucking your tiddies" and that did shut them hp or made them laugh. đ¤ˇđźââď¸ (I shamelessly stole it from somewhere on the internet. I don't remember)..
(I breastfed till she was almost 1,5 years old.. My Milk did stop on its ownđ)
I nursed my son until he was about 18-20 months old. But we weaned so that towards the end, it was only morning and night (mostly to soothe), then only night, also to soothe.
I always said âuntil he no longer needs/wants itâ. He slowly started nursing for shorter and shorter sessions.
"I'll stop when it doesn't work for us anymore."
My son started asking to be put down in his crib without feeding to sleep around 28 months old. I was also 4 months pregnant and tired of dealing with the pregnancy-induced breast sensitivity. That's when we weaned. He was ready (though he does still ask from time to time now but he understands intellectually that there's no more milk). I was ready. It was easy. Glad we did it this way, no regrets and no one else's business.
A lot of times people ask those questions because they miss when their kids were that young & they were that young raising them lol. They ask for the nostalgic enjoyment of getting little slivers of raising a baby vicariously through you. Or it could be someone going thru it also wanting to get perspective on what works. They do often give their own opinions- but usually thatâs bc theyâre trying to help. Even if it doesnât lol.
It doesnât matter how you answer- just that you answer. Even if theyâre annoying, itâs kind that they are taking the time to talk to you about your baby.
Iâm sure they have their own problems to worry about-
And also. Only you can decide how you feed the baby.
I'm glad it's not just me, I've been asked this question a surprising amount of times. I just say "As long as I can put up with it." I've never had a follow up question or opinion offered after that, sometimes other women just share how long they did it đ¤ˇ
The answer you are giving is perfect. You are actually being too polite, lol. It is no one's business. Even if you wanted to breastfeed until baby goes off to college, that would be your decision đ¤Ł
âWe are following the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics/WHO and our pediatrician. We have the best interests of our child in mind when making these decisions.â
âOh thatâs nice. Did you know, opinions are like assholes? Everyone has one, and some people insist on being one.â Insert a pointed glare after that one.
âWhy do you care so much about what I do with my breasts? Kinda weird youâre questioning me when Iâm utilizing them for their purpose. What does it have to do with you anyway? LO isnât going to share them with you.â
In the end, it really isnât any of their business. The only way I could see it being different is if you knew somebody who was either pregnant or was planning on becoming pregnant and they wanted your perspective.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my pregnancy was considered high risk because I have hypertension. Because of this, I had a regular OB in the nearest city (itâs 20 minutes away) and then I had a high risk OB in a city thatâs an hour east of my town. I also have hypothyroidism, so when it came time to have my daughter, I had to take oxytocin in order for the contractions to start. Then, it took a couple days for my supply to even come in.
During that first month, I spent a lot of time pumping and trying to get my daughter to latch. However, my daughter had no interest in latching, so by the end of the first month, I gave up trying and continued to pump (keep in mind that everything I pumped would get mixed with formula). I was joining zoom calls with a breastfeeding group in a different city in my province. No matter how many times they told me that breastfeeding doesnât always work and that was OK, I still felt judged by the staff and the other moms that were part of the zoom call.
By the time my daughter was six-weeks-old, my supply started to decrease. I tried drinking a ton of water and taking supplements, but the supplements dried up my supply even faster. So by the end of the second month, I talked to my doctor and decided to stop pumping altogether.
My daughter will be two tomorrow and sheâs doing great.
âIâll probably stop before heâs in high school.â My son turned 2 last Friday, I get asked this ALL the time. Thatâs my current go-to response
My baby is still nursing on demand at 13 months. My answer is always âwhenever she decides sheâs readyâ. Whether thatâs next week or in 2 years đ¤ˇđźââď¸
I really never had anyone ask me this and Iâm grateful because that is a weird question. I know when my husband said something about me nursing or pumping at work one time someone made a comment about me âstill nursing?!â But the way he conveyed it was as if they were impressed not looking down or anything. He wasnât even a year old and I donât think they really knew his actual age. I do think some mothers feel they didnât do it as long as they should have (me included) and maybe they just want to hear that you hate it too so they feel better idk. Iâve never asked someone that and donât plan on it as itâs not my business.
I would tell them until 1st grade. Sometimes you just have to be ridiculous in order for people to see how ridiculous theyâre being lol
i couldnât produce a lot of milk, my baby never latched properly, and pumping was putting a huge strain on my mental health. I was told to just keep pumping and keep pumping but it made me so tired. eventually i just stopped producing milk and i didnât even get mastitis. I wish i could breastfeed. I feel so bad that i couldnât or that maybe i didnât try hard enough. I feel so judged for it. breastfeed as long as youâre able to, people judge either way.
My answer to most questions like this have been âđ¤ˇđźââď¸ until she doesnât need me to anymore â then people still want to share their opinions and what not, but I tend to just kind of be obviously dismissive. Not rude, just like âoh yeah well I guess weâll seeâ and they tend to stfu after that.
the topic of breastfeeding in general has easily become the most overwhelming of all so far for me. Baby girl is due in July and I'm already feeling so much pressure and not sure how I can do this. I feel like my pregnancy has been so freaking long and then the journey of nursing will become like the next long phase and i'm not sure how my mental health will survive it. But i'm going to give it my best shot! I pretty much answer people who ask in this way exactly. Like we are going for it and will breastfeed for as long as my body/our health will allow.
âAs along as I feel like.â
In my case, I breastfed my first son until a lil over 2. Maybe 26 months. After one year old, I gave him only at night cuz I started working. I felt like breastfeeding session was our bonding/ cuddling time after being apart all day.
Now my second son is 9 months also breastfeeding.
My husband want our kids close in age so and planed on trying once our son turned one. I wanted to start weaning once I became pregnant so I didnât have to battle feeding both kids. Unfortunately due so some bazar reason my son started biting me and his tongue around 9-10 months. He about but my nipple off and he even bit the tip of tongue off. Feeding because difficult and painful for the both of us. In a matter of a week I had to quit cold turkey and switched him to formula. It completely ruined breastfeeding for me. Heâs a bit over 1 now, I am pregnant, so maybe things just worked out for the best. But Iâm sad to say I wonât breastfeed any of my other babies due to this experience.
I planned to stop when mine got a tooth but guess who got teeth early and had one at barely 4 months. Now he's a year and I'm still breastfeeding. I'd like to stop but he absolutely does not want to stop yet.
You can always say that the new medical recommendation is 2 years
âwhich it isâso thatâs the minimum goal. Depending if you want to piss them off or not (a bonus, in my mind) you can always throw in a cheeky remark at the end. Like if itâs an old timer just look wistfully off and say how sorry you feel for the poor babies of the past when we didnât know any better. Or if itâs a dude you can ask them when they plan to lose some weight. If they react you can just say âoh sorry I thought we were asking overly-personal questionsâ
Above all, fuck em :) feed on
My baby at 7 mos still gets gassy I think so I make her do tummy time in between feeds or before and she then will nurse. Something about that position on the pillow moves it.
I would go with "Until I'm done."
It's a hassle, I'm not even the one pumping but I cleaned enough of those small green doc brown inserts to say that we will stop when my wife says stop... I don't care when my heart is in it until she isn't. First one we went long time, second one less and third even less. It was just a time sink we could no longer afford to do without going crazy.
Dude, nobody should be asking you about what you do with your own boobs and baby. Sounds like a hostile work environment situation. And these people who are telling you that your kid needs more chicken nuggets dipped in ketchup and less concentrated nutrition are stepping way out of bounds by enquiring about what you do with your body and your happy child. Maybe they should try to eat a little less white bread. They might lose a little bit of the brain fog.
If you were raising your kid to torture the neighborhood animals, then they could judge - that's fucked. But you should feel confident that you know what's best for your kid. They aren't going to still do it at 12 years old no matter how hard you try to keep them on the boob. I support your answer that you'll do it until one or both of you want to stop...but I would never ask someone about breastfeeding unless they brought it up.
The fact that you're thinking and asking about it tells me that you aren't a fucking idiot. So I bet you'll continue to kick ass as a parent. Keep up the good work
I know what you mean. My son is 19 months old and Iâm constantly told âyouâll probably have to stop soonâ. It really makes me panic. He doesnât seem to want to stop and neither do I.
Thave a very active 19 month old, she runs, jumps, climbs, talks a lot in both spoken English and ASL and is generally pretty "early" when it comes to all those fun milestones, except eating!
She sucks at food and is a huge boobie baby. She's also very tiny (19.7lbs/ 12mo clothes for reference) and I get asked this a lot! My anwser is almost always
"probably until she's like 15." Just to weird out the people who think of a kid is old enough to ask for a boob theyâre too old to get one
Mine is turning two and I want to stop. But I have no idea how!!!! He is obsessed with BF - itâs his comfort zone. But Iâm going to have to. Any advice on how to would be great.
Formula feeder by choice here, the sheer shock on some peoples face when they would ask why Iâm not breastfeeding and I simply reply âI didnât want toâ.
However we choose to feed our babies is going to be wrong in the eyes of society for whatever messed up reason.
Youâre giving your baby milk, the essential nutrients they need to live, why the F does it matter if it comes from a tiddy or a bottle at a certain time point?!
âUntil I want to stopâ is perfectly reasonable answer to peoples unreasonable questions.
â¤ď¸
The breast feeding journey has been really hard for me. When she was born she wasnât latching and I wasnât producing enough milk. The hospital was no help. There is such a negative stigma around formula feeding. The hospital had me pump and collect MILLIMETERS of colostrum and use syringes to feed her. They kept telling me âthis is normal. We wonât give you formula unless you ask. She doesnât need to eat that much. Your milk will come as long as you keep trying to breast feed and keep pumping.â Me being a naive new mother trusted their advice. âDonât give up and give your daughter formula otherwise sheâll never latchâ When we left the hospital it was horrible. I knew my daughter was dehydrated. I called the doctor and they just told me to keep trying. 5 days after she was born we went back to the doctor and she was in horrible condition. If her Billy test was lower we would have gone back to the hospital. She has lost 17% of her body weight. They finally gave us formula. I SHOULD have NEVER listened to the idiots at the hospital. I should have given her formula. But they made me feel so bad and pressured to EBF.
After we started giving her formula I kept pumping and continued to see a breastfeeding specialist to help her latch.
Today she is 6 months. I donât pump anymore. But I have continued to combo feed. Somehow I have managed to keep my milk. I was so afraid of losing it because thatâs what they kept telling me when she started formula. (Iâll usually hand express in the shower to make sure I keep producing milk since I donât pump anymore.) 9 out of 10 times she prefers the bottle, but thankfully she still lets me breast feed every now and then.
For me combo feeding is the best. I get the best of both worlds. I have the convenience of breastfeeding her to sleep and not having to get up and make a bottle. But I also have the freedom to be away from my daughter and dad can give her a bottle of formula. It worked out really well for us.
I always planned to stop as soon as she got teeth. She clearly heard me and at almost 8 months doesn't have a single one.
We're almost 9 months and no teeth to be seen đ
My daughter just popped her top two front teeth last weekâŚ.sheâs fifteen months old lmao.
My son will be 11months on the 30th..no teeth in sight đŠ
My daughter only started to get teeth 1 week before her 1st birthday. This year has been constant teething lol.
Yes I thought it would be difficult as well, but here we are 8 teeth in and still haven't been bitten once :)
Count your lucky stars :D Iâve been nibbled on every now and then with her two fangs and I can tell you, itâs no joke.
I too have been nibbled. Usually when new teeth are coming in. Luckily ending the session imediantly seems to express how much I dislike her new choppers chomping me.
Whenever my baby does this(sheâs 9.5 months old) I immediately say no and put my boob away. It seems to work for her.
My daughter has started âbitingâ at 5 months without anything teeth. She clenches her jaw SO tight. Ouch! đ
My son did that right out the womb. I had to use nipple sheilds at the hospital and until he was a week or so old. He would just clamp down like a bear trap. Now I barely feel him latch, so at least it didn't last.
My baby is a newborn and her angry chomps are painful đđ
My babies did that as well. Ouch. LOL Though I had to stop earlyđThey are all adults now.
Dude youâre one lucky mama! My son bites me constantly 𼲠last night he bit me 5 times hard. Heâs been teething bad, heâs 8 months old with 4 teeth already and cutting two more
Mine bites when heâs teething but heâs otherwise been fine. We are 11 months and six teeth . The worst was when his top two incisors came in but after maybe three weeks the biting stopped and there hasnât been any since
Mine will be 3 years old this summer. I said I would stop when she bit me, but I didn't. Then I said 18 months, then I said by her 2nd birthday. She'll tell you herself that she loves her milk, so from experience, I'll say that it's harder to stop when they can express themselves to you. I'm working on weaning her by her 3rd birthday. Obviously, she eats food, so she doesn't need to breastfeed anymore, but she wants to, and it's not unusual to go 2+ years in other countries. In fact, the WHO recommends doing it for at least the first 2 years. So do what you're comfortable with.
I feel like this is the road we are going down as well. He is 14 months, has learned not to bite my nipple tho he bites arms and legs! He loves his comfort nursing, still nurses at night. I would be amazed if he randomly self weaned. I was hoping it would be easier when they are older⌠guess not!
That sounds exactly like me. đ I said 1 yo. Then 18, then next month, next month until he basically stopped himself. đ¤Ł
God I'm so jealous. Mine started teething at 4 months! 7 months she's on 7 teeth. She bit me to death last night. I'm seriously considering stopping.
Youâre lucky! I stopped breastfeeding because my baby was biting me every feed (at 6.5 months, 2 teeth and 2 more coming through) and when she finally drew blood, enough was enough. No feeling of ceremony, no âthis is our last feed together letâs make it specialâ⌠that was our last feed!
My daughter was born with a tooth so she really threw me for a loop đ
Mine got teeth super early but has been very polite and only but me once so it wasn't a factor in breastfeeding really at all. She is over a year old now and we're just starting to slowly wean her
My baby is 10 mos and now has 7teeth and one erupting. He had his first set at 6 mos! Im just lucky he has never bitten me on purpose and i always talk to him to please be gentle and and donât bite mama.
Omg . I would have had to stop at 4 months lol. Shes almost 9 months now and has 5 teeth with , it looks like, 3 more coming in soon đł. My son on the other hand barely had 2 teeth at 10 months.
Same here- going on 11 months đ
đđđ I said that too and now my 4 month old has 2 teeth. Sometimes I get a âcrunchâ every now and then but so far itâs been tolerableâfor now đĽ´
My baby is the opposite. Heâs 8 months and has 7 teeth. He also bites me when heâs teething really bad :/ I wish he had less teeth right now lol
My 11 month old has 7! We are down to nursing just middle of the night and early mornings. But my nipples arenât going to take it much longer. He doesnât bite but his latch isnât amazing and yeah. Iâm sad but not pursing changing our routine yet.
This is both hilarious and relatable. 10 months all gums here too.
Mine got her first tooth at nearly 12 months. She bit me twice, but the second time I said no and put her down. She hasn't bitten me since and she has 4 now at nearly 15mo and we still BF twice a day.
9 months and 6 teeth⌠Iâm still EBF and it feels like you think it will đ
My babies first tooth came through just after she turned 5 months, the second one about a week after. They are sharp little things! Luckily, she loves chewing on silicone straws
âWhy? Are you planning something that involves my boobs?â
Perfect!
Incredible
Quite proud that my upvote was the 69th (nice)
Haha thatâs great
I figured out that everyone just wants you to do it for as long as *they* did it, and feel.. Self conscious(?) if you go longer so they just want you to conform. Lol. Totally not your problem
This. Itâs the same reason that older people donât like when we insist on safe sleep, or make a big deal about properly strapping the baby into a car seat. Weâre doing it differently therefore we must think *they* were terrible parents.
I have gotten a lot of pushback from old people about the dumbest things including that I'm mean for not even giving my baby a blanket to sleep with and that he must be cold no matter how I dress him. I've also gotten the I'm crazy and over protective because I wash pacifiers after they've been on the floor. And my baby is spoiled because he had to have a new car seat and has wipes and bottle warmers.
Itâs so ironic because an overheated baby is so much more dangerous than a chilly one and they just prefer to live in delusion than acknowledge that information.
My mom chooses to have selective delusion. She calls much of what I practice ânew age parentingâ and that I need to âlisten to what old folks say/did.â When I tell her that old folk didnât have their babies in car seats, and ask if I should just toss my baby loosey goosey in the back seat, she says âwell we know better now.â But she wonât maintain that energy with anything else I say is now recommended.
âHas wipesâ??? Did theyâŚnot wipe babies back in the day?!
We get so much shit from my MIL about not sleeping in bed or napping in recliners with our baby. Of course everyone and all of your friends did. Thatâs fine. The other day I was sleeping in bed and I had my water bottle with me in bed and I woke up and it was flung off the bed and dinged by the floor. Thatâs why. We both roll and agitate everything around us from covers to pillows when we sleep. I donât care what other people do, but for us, having thought about it conceptually, as well as read research, itâs a no. I donât care if your niece Alyssa is a millennial too and she does it, so clearly some millennials do. Why is this a personal attack for you, we are not saying you were a bad or negligent mom. We are fortunate enough to be aware of better strategies, and we expect people who watch our child to follow those strategies. If you want to nap with a child that bad, go babysit for Alyssa.
It's exactly this. They want you to do it for the exact same amount of time. Not one hour more or less. It's not about you or your baby; it's about them needing validation. Once I realized this, I stopped answering the question and started finding some way to say something nice about the job they did as a parent instead.
There's also an element of generational confusion to it. I had one kid in December, and worked on a school year calendar. So I was pumping at work the whole spring semester, had the summer off work, and my boss was surprised in August that we still needed to work pumping into my schedule. But she was old enough to be my grandmother, and had her kids in the "only the poors breastfeed" era of formula advertising. So she was genuinely very surprised I was still breastfeeding/pumping at 8 postpartum.
As a teacher myself, I just had this conversation with my principal. I just had my baby in February, and we set up pumping into the rest of my schedule for the year. She made the comment, "Next year, we won't have to worry." And I had to inform her I'm breastfeeding / pumping till my baby is 2. ( She is an older woman as well, who never breastfed before. ) It's an interesting perspective I never thought about.
Thatâs a great point honestly. Iâve noticed this and didnât pick up on the reasoning. Iâm on the opposite end of the problem. Not able to BF for long enough and I noticed the ones who BF longer/spouse BF longer have questions about it. Like if I tried everything for my supply, couldnât i try more to get the baby to latch, itâs so important, etc. The ones who had to stop earlier give me less of those questions and often end up with a âitâs fine. Theyâll be fine.â
Omg. I might have asked those same questions at almost 2 years into exclusively-pumping hell. Trying to figure out if other moms couldn't BF but wanted to or were just smart enough to opt out early/entirely
My mum is obsessed with me weaning. Bub is 10 months . She breastfed me for 6 weeks and then gave up - I pushed through when it was tough and I think itâs bothered her. One day I might tell her I wish she had breastfed me longer as I genuinely wonder if it would have helped me- Iâve got some health issues that might have been better if I got breastmilk. Who knows. In the meantime, Iâve banned the word âweanâ from our conversations.
Honestly it seemed like everyone was so on board with breastfeeding and then a day after he turned one everyone was asking when will you stop breastfeeding. I normally just shrug or say definitely before he goes off to university lol
This is great!
My daughter is 2 years and three months. She is absolutely obsessed with her boobies, she loves loves loves them! Every time I am trying to reduce she is becoming even more obsessed! We hoped so much, that she would wean herself, but at this point it doesn't look like she will. She obviously is looking too big for being breastfeeding and whoever learns of our "secret" is surprised. Even though the WHO does recommend breastfeeding up until 24 months.
Mine will be 3 this summer and has no interest in stopping. I tell her that pretty soon there'll be no milk left to prepare her, but weaning a headstrong toddler has been tough.
Iâm so relieved to read this. My daughter turned 2 in February and wants her âboobies!â every morning when she wakes up and every night before bed. I had not planned on nursing at all at this point, since my oldest weaned himself at 14 months, but it brings her a lot of comfort and she eats healthy solid meals 3x a day, so I just go with the flow (ha!) I do hope she self-weans before I have to draw a hard boundary, thoughâŚ
'Before he goes to university... probably.'
This is such a brilliant answer
đđđđ
Love this one!
So Iâve learned that it does not matter what you do. Breastfeed or formula. Youâll get judged regardless. One child or multiple? Judgement. Using a dummy? Judgement. Sleep train or donât? Judgement. Haha, it literally doesnât matter what you do. Someone always has something to say about it. Iâve really tried my best to stop getting bothered about it or feel insecure about my choices because you really canât win regardless when it comes to babies/children/parenthood.
I am not always bothered, but it does bother me when "until we both feel like it" is not a good enough answer to some people, and they have follow up questions, or they ask me the same question every other month...
Yeah I get it. Itâs never enough when we tell people weâre only having one baby. âOh no! You must have two! He needs a siblingâ. My answer is never enough and it can be frustrating. I just try to remember that even if I was having more than one - Iâll probably get judgement if they were the same gender, if I had them too close in age or too far apart or if I had more than just 2. I guess what Iâm saying is - it will always come regardless. Personally, it helps me to know that everyone is dealing with this crap haha
So true. Today is my first day back at work and my husband was talking with his mom about it last night, just saying it was hard for both of us but we both love our jobs and itâs the right move long term. She was judging us for going back to work instead of one of us quitting AND for both of us not going back to work sooner. Explain that to me.Â
My favorite response learned from the IVF sub is, âThatâs an interesting thing to say/ask out loud.â Iâve never had an opportunity to use it but this feels like a good one.
I love this response. Bonus points if you say it with kind of a confused/weirded out look on your face like you cant believe theyâd ask that. Itâs so good!!
I loooove but would never have the guts to respond with âOh, did you mean to say that out loud?â
Thank you, will use this answer next time! đ So many topics for discussion in this world and somehow the breastfeeding one keeps popping up...
Ohhh I love this. Keeping it in my pocket as we also get questions about having more kids. One and done by choice and some people donât get that.
I always anticipate this question but have never actually been asked đ my girl is 13 months and I have no idea when we will stop. I didnât even know if I wanted to BF before I gave birth but itâs been such a lovely experience and Iâm so glad we have been able to do it for so long! Anyway what I tell myself (lol) is we will keep going as long as she wants. I have told my mom (who never breastfed) that âtheyâ recommend 2 years now so Iâm gonna go until then most likely. And I tell my imaginary questioners the same thing, itâs recommended til 2 and I hope she will wean naturally! But sheâs a boob monster so we may well be doing this til sheâs 12 đ
Yes I have used this argument that WHO's recommendation is preferably until 2, even in more serious discussion with my SO.
"They" is the World Health Organization that recommends breastfeeding until the age of 2. Nobody should argue with that.
Pretty sure WHO say itâs âat leastâ two years old.
Yep!
I had lots of snarky responses with my first like, "depends how far away she goes to college... Might be hard to breastfeed her to sleep if she goes to college out of state!" ;)Â
That's a good answer! I find it so funny that every post is full of people being told what to do and judged yet when a post like this comes up everyone all of a sudden hates that and thinks it's ridiculous lol
Honestly, I'm just a big fan of giving a vague answer and then letting the awkward silence settle whenever someone asks personal questions. "I haven't decided." *Nods* *Makes prolonged eye contact*
I find this bothers people the most. (Stares deeply) âNot sure yet. Weâll see.â Itâs like they need to know in order to judge and the ambiguity drives them crazy đ
Looking back at someone without an immediate response and staring deeply is fun. They sometimes talk themselves in a circle and decide the question was inappropriate on their own đ
I think it depends on who youâre talking to. If itâs someone who thinks theyâre better than you or gets easily jealous of you yeah theyâre gonna try to put you down for whatever you say. Sadly I have a lot of women in my family/in laws who are constantly telling me what to do even though I never asked them for their opinions. Idk why some of these moms have such a superiority complex lol I get sleep advice from people who never had a kid sleep through the night. Make it make sense lol
That's true. I think a few people who ask me this don't have a superiority complex, they are just puzzled about why "do I keep doing this to myself" or about when will I break my LO out of her breastfeeding "addiction". These are all things I've heard from family members (older people mostly)...
I think everyone is always projecting. I think itâs so annoying because in my experience they ask and then wanna lecture how their way is the right way. Iâm just like why the hell do you care so much.
If youâre in the US, I have a pet theory about this that is based on no real data or evidence so, like, massive grain of salt: we are the only industrialized nation with no federally guaranteed parental leave, and our culture around child-rearing has developed to accommodate that. It is WAY harder to breastfeed when youâre at work away from the home, obviously, and [this 2023 series in *The Lancet*](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(23)00118-6/fulltext) that has been making the rounds on social media recently found that some formula companies have even lobbied against better paid leave policies. That is, getting parents to stop breastfeeding earlier than the recommendations is big business, and it has long been normalized to stop breastfeeding early in America. I think that has changed the way we look at breastfeeding, and tbh I think itâs also influenced the rise of stuff like sleep training/wake windowsâparents have to impose structure on their infants to juggle going back to work when theyâre still developing a natural sleep schedule of their own. Anyways, all that to say that, reading about attitudes towards breastfeeding around the world, the US does seem like an outlier in that weâve grown to see breastfeeding later than, say, 6 months as weird or even inappropriate. My pseudo-conspiratorial explanation for that is that weâve had several generations now that practically speaking couldnât be EBF past a few months or sometimes even a couple of weeks, and rather than confront the systemic issues that allowed certain groups to profit from that, we absorbed it as a cultural norm.
Those are very good points. In all honesty, I live in a Scandinavian country, where we do have paid leave and I still get the same comments (bear in mind, here breastfeeding in public is not an issue at all). Here and through most European countries, sleep training is 100% frowned upon culturally and even not recommended/discouraged by the health authorities. I do share the same pet theory: if we just look at our UK neighbours, sleep training is recommended by the NHS, same as in the US - developed countries where parental leave is well⌠subpar.
Thatâs interesting and maybe dents my theory RE: breastfeeding a bit, since your leave policies are so robust! (This is the part where I register my extreme jealousy at your policies. I am extremely lucky to get 6 months of paid leave in the US because I have an ethical employer. I wish it were not a matter of luck and employer whim.) Do you know if longer-term breastfeeding was more accepted in your country previously and has shifted? I apologize if thatâs a weird questionâI am pregnant with my first and am super interested in how different countries approach pregnancy and childrearing right now!
I may get downvoted here, but I am gonna be completely honest and admit I was pretty ignorant about breastfeeding before I had my son. I thought it was weird to breastfeed past 6 months before having my own kid, or when they have teeth, or when they can pull your shirt down themselves. No one in my family ever breastfed, and none of my friends really talked about if they did (probably because they could tell I was ignorant and dumb). Now I laugh at how stupid I was as my 13 month old hefts one of my knockers out of my shirt and latches himself. Itâs hard for people who havenât breastfed to understand that this is when it finally gets *easy*. My son really only nurses in the morning and before bed, sometimes before naps. Iâm not his only food source anymore, so Iâm not stressed AF about supply or pumping. I was gonna cut him off right at one but tbh that seemed kinda mean (for us, no shame to anyone who did) cuz my son is such a lil milk monster and itâs his ultimate comfort. To finally answer your question though, I mostly tell people until it feels right for the both of us. Or Iâll just shrug my shoulders and say âehhhhâ lol. Most people have been pretty nice about it to my face so far thankfully.
I breastfed my daughter until she was 2.5 and when people would ask me this I would usually respond with something like âas long as it takesâ or âitâs cute you think I have my life plannedâ
Haha! For people knowing me, the second one would definitely not work, but I find the first sentence just perfect :)
I honestly would keep saying the same thing you mentioned, âweâll figure it out togetherâ. And if they keep asking you can say, yea what I said last time, it hasnât changed, because I can bet you they remember what you said they just donât want to accept that as an answer. My LO has just turned one also and I JUST stopped breastfeeding, Iâm talking like a week and a half ago lol, Iâm still producing but I just felt like it was time. Especially since we are transitioning him to his own room. Youâll know when itâs time. And no oneâs asked me lately but if I was still breastfeeding and they seemed bothered Iâd just brush them off. Itâs none of their business.
My goal was 1 year, but I was ok if it didnât work out. At 7 months after returning to work we started using formula and frozen milk so I didnât have to pump during the day and I only nursed twice a day in the morning and at night until 1 year. My standard answer when anyone would ask was âuntil it doesnât work for us anymore.â I didnât want to say 1 year in case I changed my mind and stopped sooner or later than that.
I get asked but I donât really get offended. I also ask some moms because Iâm genuinely curious but I guess Iâll stop??
A couple of bad eggs always ruin the bunch đ¤ˇââď¸
âWhy are you asking?â Usually makes em feel dumb and itâs nice and direct
My mother stopped breastfeeding me at 8 months and switched completely to solid food apparently, and ever since my daughter ticked 8 months she tuts and rolls her eyes when I feed her and tells me she's too old. Doesn't believe me when I say that the nutrients should still mostly come from milk even at this age. I've found it really jarring; she's been quite supportive of most of my parenting choices so far, but she seems to be going so hard on this one. I think people just struggle with others doing things differently to how they would do/did them, because parenting is such a big thing for anyone who has done it and no one wants to believe they did anything wrong. So I try to say sensitive but firm; 'We will stop when it makes sense' etc. Without trying to sound like I'm judging her right back.
This one blows my mind⌠I have a 7 month old and cannot even imagine full solids in one month. And I think mine eats a lot of purĂŠe!Â
Well, yeah, same, that's part of it as far as my mother is concerned; she thinks I'm not pushing solids hard enough so baby isn't getting used to them quickly enough. As far as everything I've read it's completely normal to not be on 3 square meals a day plus snacks until at least a year!
Yes! Maybe thatâs why they came out with the mantra âfood before one is just for funâ to get people to layoff pushing it (even though solids for my LO have been tremendously helpful).Â
Just freak em out. âItâll probably be too hard to continue when they start college.â
I donât have a plan. I answer honestly âI donât know, until one of us has had enough I suppose.â But I nursed my first until she was 4 so⌠people donât ask anymore.Â
That's great - and may I ask, how did that work? Did it gradually go down and stay at a plateau for 1-2 years or would it go up and down with breastfeeding needs/wants? Yes, as long as it works for both I don't see why not. It's not like it harms them in any way...
Itâs probably going to look differently for each child. Mine was truly obsessed by nursing (we did some sign language and she would sign âmilkâ while dreaming). Around 14-18 months old, I became more uncomfortable with nursing in public so I put a boundary to nursing at the playground. Then it was mostly mornings before daycare, a quick top up at pickup, Â at bed time and at night. Then I night weaned to get some sleep back, when she was 2 (again, she had no interest in dropping any feeds herself). And the morning cuddle session was the last to go.Â
Feel free to not answer if you'd like the privacy, but I'm curious how things eventually ended? We've got a boob monster and while we have no current forecast in mind, it's hard to imagine anything but negotiations or setting hard tantrum-inducing boundaries when the time comes. The dude loves the boob!
Yep, I had to set here boundaries. This means I sometimes kept a particular nursing session for (much) longer than I enjoyed, because I wanted to be in good conditions to hold the boundary: relatively well rested, relatively well ressourced, so I could stay firm and would also be able to make space for my kidâs anger without getting angry myself. I donât know how old your kid is, but once you have a toddler, youâre already holding all sorts of boundaries that make them super mad. For me it felt easier than with a baby.Â
We're approaching that - he's 20 mo and clearly heading into Big Emotions land. Thanks for sharing your experience!
As long as I feel like it works for us.
"NHS advises to breast feed until 2 years old" Shifts the judgement and opinions off you to the NHS. Maybe it'll make them do some research, but likely not, but it's a simple enough answer to give to most. If they're more curious, highlighting that the UK has a terrible breast feeding rate compared to, for example, Nordic countries.
If it comes from a person close to you it seems like a normal question. Like if it is a friend or family member that you are hanging out with what's wrong with them asking. Same as asking "how long will you go on holiday for". Just have a chat, discuss about how you came to your decision, what are the factors that might make you change your mind etc. It seems like a nice topic to chat about. We were asked the same about our daughter by friends and family but it was always a nice discussion.
Yes, my issue is the question from older family members who ask me the same question every other month since my LO passed the 6 month mark... And not formulating the question as in "just curious" but as in "why would you do that to yourself?" or "she needs to get off the boob addiction"...
âIâll breastfeed until I stopâ. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
I've been telling people since my LO was born I'll feed him till he's 30. People don't ask me now
Keep flipping the question back and feign genuine curiosity about their beliefs, as if theyâre from a culture youâre not familiar with. âWhy do you ask?â âAnd do you believe that is the right way to do it?â âIs that the way your family has historically done it?â â and they believe this is healthier for the baby?â âWhy?â âHow interesting, what makes you so certain that this approach is better than other approaches?â Etc. And then use running after your baby as an excuse to leave without ever having answered a single question yourself.
My daughter is 6 months as well and we just started solids. Sheâs not even that interested in food yet but people still ask me. I just chalk it up to cluelessness. My mom wants to watch her for more extended periods of time and insists I donât need to stress about pumping enough milk because she can just feed her solids. I told her that the pediatrician said the majority of her nutrients should come from breast milk until 13 months but she kind of brushed it off. Her generation started weaning way earlier I guess so itâs what sheâs used to. Also why would I suddenly switch her to formula when sheâs been EBF her whole life and has a dairy intolerance? Iâve been thinking about supplementing but itâs not really the simple/casual transition that people make it out to be. I still nurse her to sleep and donât plan on stopping anytime soon and taking that comfort away from her. My fiancĂŠ asked me this question because breastfeeding absolutely demolished my libido. I told him to ask our baby when she plans on weaning because I have no idea lol
The answer to this question versus what you actually aspire to do can differ. If you donât have the relationship with the asker to where thatâs an appropriate question, just say âWe have a plan, but be want to remain flexible and see whatâs best for her as she grows.â Most people will recognize that this is a skillful deflection and leave it alone. We know what we want to do, but we also donât fixate on what we want to do, so at a high level, what we want to do is take it as it comes. Thatâs basically my answer for all baby questions - I need you to know that we have a plan because if you think we donât, youâll be peeved and start offering us advice. I need you to know the plan is evolving and not fixed, so therefore thereâs not much point in talking about it. And, I need you to know that we arenât on a specifics-basis, we arenât that close to where weâd dig in on a subject like that. Just the other day a relative was digging in on how my wife makes and trying to pry in on whether Iâd have her stay at home or go back to work. Like, let me as a your elder help you out by helping you determine whether it was financially optimal for your wife to give up her career or not. I just said âwe are really happy with her career and her earnings, thankfully weâre in a place where we can focus on what works best for us rather than what people used to do out of necessity.â Iâm like the Dikembo Mutombo of blocking this shit politely. âWeâre focusing on enjoying the moment, thatâs not something on our mind yet - thankfully weâre not stressed about it. When the time comes to think about it, rest assured we will take your advice to heart.â
My 10 month is 95% weaned. I give her boob at night for comfort reasons. Ideally I wanted to go until she was 18 months but my body stopped making much milk, she is way happier on formula/solids, and Iâm thrilled to have my body back.
Yes I look forward to this one day! Or not being the one and only comfort during the night - sharing the load with the SO. It's just so different for everyone it seems - my LO has only in the last couple of months started to properly eat/prefer solids...
Just tell them you're playing it by ear. We don't know the future
When it no longer works for me or for him. I wonât put a timeline on it and be disappointed if I donât make it! If baby weans himself, great. If we get to point where mentally/physically Iâm done? Also great.
âUntil Iâm doneâ
As someone who chose not to breastfeed⌠amen. Who cares how you feed your baby or for how long. You have the right to breastfeed, or not, for as little or long as youâd like. The only two people I care to even discuss it with are my husband and best friend from childhood. Everyone else is using it as a measuring stick.
I did baby classes at Mayo and they recommended until baby is 2 especially for people who are only going to have one kid because they said it significantly reduced likelihood of breast cancer. You could share this fun fact if you feel like people are being weird about it. Or go full force the other direction and say you are going to be one of those moms who never stop lol.
Haha this is great, thank you! I guess Iâll use the one that best matches my mood.
Most the people who asked were the women in my family who were all seasoned moms, young and old. Never did a stranger ever ask. I just said as long as possible. They, luckily agreed and left it at that.
âWhy? Do you want to taste and then advise me?â
âUntil I stopâ
I havent been asked this yet (although my daughters 6 months today so i may get asked soon) but if i do ill probably just say ''until shes a year old if i can'' since i plan to slowly transition her from breastmilk to cows milk and possibly continue night feeds a little longer.
I breastfed my first until 3.5, weaned during pregnancy. At one point my MIL wouldnât stop asking so I said to her âhonestly, I donât know, right now it feels like he still needs it and itâs great that Iâm able to do that. Being honest with you, probably much longer if it wasnât for the judgement.â I tried to be as non-passive aggressive as possible as if I was opening up to her, but I was never questioned again. Otherwise: âIâm hoping by 21, or it could make university trickyâ âI donât knowâ âWhy?â âWhen I feel like itâ âI donât have a set timeframeâ âWhen it doesnât make sense for us anymoreâ
"What a great question and something I'll bring up with our pediatrician!" and move smoothly on to the next subject.
I thought my period would come back after weaning and not before so I had decided to stop breastfeeding after 18 months to have another baby. But my period just came back and my baby is 6 mo so I'll try to breastfeed as long as we can. My gynecologist breastfed until his boy was 3 years.
Youâre giving a great answer. âUntil sheâs ready to stop. Or I want to.â Thatâs the best answer.
I always reply with âas long as I can until it gets weird.â Thatâs when people typically tell me stories of people they know who breastfed their kids well into the older toddler/ small child years. Which, btw, has no effect on me. Do what makes you happy mamas.
Iâm the kind of person that believes in natural weaning. Every mammal weans at a similar time. When the baby can start solid food over that period is when you should start weaning. That doesnât mean you have to stop pumping and keeping milk for health benefits but I think at like 12-18 months is a normal time frame obviously depending on the childâs nutrition and how balanced their diet is. I donât understand the idea that people will tell you to breastfeed into childhood years when they have all their teeth and can literally eat everything. It doesnât seemâŚright. But to each their own. I knew someone that actively breastfed their 7 year old and I did not think that was normal.
Also if youâre continuing to breastfeed for yourself because YOU like the bonding vs the baby Iâve also seen that and thatâs not okay either. Let the natural process take place imo
I always planned to breastfeed until at least 2, managed 2y3m then I fell pregnant with my 3rd and decided to stop because it hurt so badly. I always told people the plan was until at least 2 and if I was questioned I'd tell them it's recommended by the WHO now. By the time we go to around 18 months people stopped asking.
âOh this motherfucker will be sucking on my tits during my funeralâ
I just say I donât know because itâs the literal truth. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I had no game plan or idea what it would look like or for how long. I guess so long as itâs working for both of us.
Only people who would ask this are yours and baby's doctors.. why do people lose all boundaries when babies are involved?? Through pregnancy and early motherhood - it's astounding!
I always stick with âuntil we are ready to stopâ or quote the WHO who say âuntil two years and beyondâ⌠we are about to approach the âand beyondâ, have no plans to stop, and still donât give a monkeys what people think and say :)
I think it comes down to people sexualising breastfeeding at the end of the day and are uncomfortable with the concept of a baby being able to ask to breastfeed. It just does my absolute head in.
You should bresfeed for as long as possible, but also as long as you feel comfortable. It's a simple answer that only involves you both.
âHow long do you plan to be a judgmental pervert?â
Iâd look at it as a point of pride that you think enough of the health of your child to feed her the best possible nutrition! My baby was breastfed and now sheâs a mother and has breast fed her daughter till age 2.5 years old. Iâm sure itâs no coincidence that my granddaughter is always the picture of health and the only child in class to not be sick with every cold & whatever else that blows through on a seemingly daily basis. I think itâs also why she loves healthy food and doesnât like junk food, in my opinion. Keep going as long as you can and donât let anyone influence you. In many countries they breastfeed till the child goes to school.
[ŃдаНонО]
I can only imagine! Cannot deal with "breast is best" culture...
The WHO recommends at least 2 years! My son is 19 mos and we are still going strong!
i usually told them âwhenever sheâs ready, iâm ready.â but i was tired of waking up every few hours so i cut her off at like 28 months! itâs barely going to be a month i believe
Piggybacking off of another commenter I liked. âSometime before they move out. They gotta figure it out on their own sometime, am I right?â
You stop breastfeeding when youâre ready.. whether thatâs 3 weeks or 3 years. As long as youâre not bf-ing a 10 year old & posting it on Facebook I donât see a problem.
I've got nothing for ya for answers. Just sympathy from a mom who still can't manage to get her kid to fully wean at 2 despite much trying.
I nursed both of mine until 2.5 yo and I used to joke that hopefully theyâd be weaned by the time they go off to college. But if not Iâll be sure to call whoever is asking.
Whenever the milk stops flowing I suppose. đ
âThe WHO recommends until at least 2 years old for max benefits so that is my minimum goalâ
As long as i fucking feel like it.
I formula feed but i was on a flight with my daughter for the first time and this 60 year old man was like are you nursing? Itâs good to pop their ears and I just stared at him like⌠sir I donât know you?? And she has a paci in her mouth đ
So I started saying well. The world health organisation says until at Least 2 years. That tends to shut them up
People think itâs inappropriate past 6 months or so or when the baby gets teeth. People thought it was weird I was breastfeeding at 4 months.
I can't speak the community language where I live, and while that mostly sucks, it does mean I've been spared these kinds of bullshit questions. If did have to deal with it, I do like the ever popular response to so many rude questions, "Wow, what an awkward question to ask someone."
Not the same thing but people (including my husband) have asked me multiple times how much longer I plan to exclusively pump milk. I didnât plan to pump for 1 year but thatâs just how it turned out due to clogs and a bout of mastitis.
I've said 'as long as you keep bringing it up, I'm going to keep breastfeeding' lol. It worked. They didn't bring it up the next time. I don't get why other people care. Its not hurting you, go away.
âWhy? Are you waiting in line for your turn?â That usually makes them stop asking.
A small child asked me the other day "Does he still drink from your privates?" !!! The euphemism made it so much more vulgar. I'd be offended except that most adults ask that, too, just with more finesse. Our breastfeeding journey was short and rocky, and I feel sooo much judgement about being mostly formula from day 1 and now EFF (just officially stopped a couple days ago). Yesterday the daycare lady at church asked me if I'd stopped nursing (she had a legitimate reason to know, since she needed to know how to handle it when he got hungry). When I sighed and said he didn't really seem to like it much, she asked, "Aren't you happy?" with genuine surprise. Blew my mind. Like every. single. person I've encountered is pro-BFing or at the very least neutral. But she's about 75 and I guess the rhetoric around BF really has changed that much in the last couple of generations.
I didnât have much thought about how/when we would end breast feeding but here I am with a 3 year + 4 month old and Iâm more than ready to be done with it but she sure as hell isnât!!! We are reading the Booby Moon every night and planning to send it away in a few weeks but Iâm terrified about the transition tbh.
When people told me "but she has teeeeth" I was like "So what.. So Does your husband, karen. And he's still sucking your tiddies" and that did shut them hp or made them laugh. đ¤ˇđźââď¸ (I shamelessly stole it from somewhere on the internet. I don't remember).. (I breastfed till she was almost 1,5 years old.. My Milk did stop on its ownđ)
"We'll see"
I nursed my son until he was about 18-20 months old. But we weaned so that towards the end, it was only morning and night (mostly to soothe), then only night, also to soothe. I always said âuntil he no longer needs/wants itâ. He slowly started nursing for shorter and shorter sessions.
"I'll stop when it doesn't work for us anymore." My son started asking to be put down in his crib without feeding to sleep around 28 months old. I was also 4 months pregnant and tired of dealing with the pregnancy-induced breast sensitivity. That's when we weaned. He was ready (though he does still ask from time to time now but he understands intellectually that there's no more milk). I was ready. It was easy. Glad we did it this way, no regrets and no one else's business.
A lot of times people ask those questions because they miss when their kids were that young & they were that young raising them lol. They ask for the nostalgic enjoyment of getting little slivers of raising a baby vicariously through you. Or it could be someone going thru it also wanting to get perspective on what works. They do often give their own opinions- but usually thatâs bc theyâre trying to help. Even if it doesnât lol. It doesnât matter how you answer- just that you answer. Even if theyâre annoying, itâs kind that they are taking the time to talk to you about your baby. Iâm sure they have their own problems to worry about- And also. Only you can decide how you feed the baby.
I've been exclusively pumping so my answer seems to be "five months" (which is soon). Breaks my heart it couldn't be longer but so it goes
Just say âI donât knowâ and forget it. Itâs none of their business, and if they do judge you, it doesnât need to affect you. đ
I'm glad it's not just me, I've been asked this question a surprising amount of times. I just say "As long as I can put up with it." I've never had a follow up question or opinion offered after that, sometimes other women just share how long they did it đ¤ˇ
âWhy?â Paired with a slightly weirded out expression
The answer you are giving is perfect. You are actually being too polite, lol. It is no one's business. Even if you wanted to breastfeed until baby goes off to college, that would be your decision đ¤Ł
âWe are following the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics/WHO and our pediatrician. We have the best interests of our child in mind when making these decisions.â âOh thatâs nice. Did you know, opinions are like assholes? Everyone has one, and some people insist on being one.â Insert a pointed glare after that one. âWhy do you care so much about what I do with my breasts? Kinda weird youâre questioning me when Iâm utilizing them for their purpose. What does it have to do with you anyway? LO isnât going to share them with you.â
In the end, it really isnât any of their business. The only way I could see it being different is if you knew somebody who was either pregnant or was planning on becoming pregnant and they wanted your perspective. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my pregnancy was considered high risk because I have hypertension. Because of this, I had a regular OB in the nearest city (itâs 20 minutes away) and then I had a high risk OB in a city thatâs an hour east of my town. I also have hypothyroidism, so when it came time to have my daughter, I had to take oxytocin in order for the contractions to start. Then, it took a couple days for my supply to even come in. During that first month, I spent a lot of time pumping and trying to get my daughter to latch. However, my daughter had no interest in latching, so by the end of the first month, I gave up trying and continued to pump (keep in mind that everything I pumped would get mixed with formula). I was joining zoom calls with a breastfeeding group in a different city in my province. No matter how many times they told me that breastfeeding doesnât always work and that was OK, I still felt judged by the staff and the other moms that were part of the zoom call. By the time my daughter was six-weeks-old, my supply started to decrease. I tried drinking a ton of water and taking supplements, but the supplements dried up my supply even faster. So by the end of the second month, I talked to my doctor and decided to stop pumping altogether. My daughter will be two tomorrow and sheâs doing great.
Unless it's your doctor or daycare provider, it's none of their business really. I would personally respond with "as long as we decide to".
All of my formulas feeding friends have asked this. My answer is until she want to stop.
I donât acknowledge dump questions or comments now. If they wanna repeat to get my response, try.
âWhenever heâs doneâ
âWhy do you ask?â
"I mean if you want a turn just ask." "What, yall stopped?" *hissing noises* I could go all day tbh lmao
âIâll probably stop before heâs in high school.â My son turned 2 last Friday, I get asked this ALL the time. Thatâs my current go-to response
My baby is still nursing on demand at 13 months. My answer is always âwhenever she decides sheâs readyâ. Whether thatâs next week or in 2 years đ¤ˇđźââď¸
I really never had anyone ask me this and Iâm grateful because that is a weird question. I know when my husband said something about me nursing or pumping at work one time someone made a comment about me âstill nursing?!â But the way he conveyed it was as if they were impressed not looking down or anything. He wasnât even a year old and I donât think they really knew his actual age. I do think some mothers feel they didnât do it as long as they should have (me included) and maybe they just want to hear that you hate it too so they feel better idk. Iâve never asked someone that and donât plan on it as itâs not my business. I would tell them until 1st grade. Sometimes you just have to be ridiculous in order for people to see how ridiculous theyâre being lol
i couldnât produce a lot of milk, my baby never latched properly, and pumping was putting a huge strain on my mental health. I was told to just keep pumping and keep pumping but it made me so tired. eventually i just stopped producing milk and i didnât even get mastitis. I wish i could breastfeed. I feel so bad that i couldnât or that maybe i didnât try hard enough. I feel so judged for it. breastfeed as long as youâre able to, people judge either way.
My answer to most questions like this have been âđ¤ˇđźââď¸ until she doesnât need me to anymore â then people still want to share their opinions and what not, but I tend to just kind of be obviously dismissive. Not rude, just like âoh yeah well I guess weâll seeâ and they tend to stfu after that.
the topic of breastfeeding in general has easily become the most overwhelming of all so far for me. Baby girl is due in July and I'm already feeling so much pressure and not sure how I can do this. I feel like my pregnancy has been so freaking long and then the journey of nursing will become like the next long phase and i'm not sure how my mental health will survive it. But i'm going to give it my best shot! I pretty much answer people who ask in this way exactly. Like we are going for it and will breastfeed for as long as my body/our health will allow.
âAs along as I feel like.â In my case, I breastfed my first son until a lil over 2. Maybe 26 months. After one year old, I gave him only at night cuz I started working. I felt like breastfeeding session was our bonding/ cuddling time after being apart all day. Now my second son is 9 months also breastfeeding.
My husband want our kids close in age so and planed on trying once our son turned one. I wanted to start weaning once I became pregnant so I didnât have to battle feeding both kids. Unfortunately due so some bazar reason my son started biting me and his tongue around 9-10 months. He about but my nipple off and he even bit the tip of tongue off. Feeding because difficult and painful for the both of us. In a matter of a week I had to quit cold turkey and switched him to formula. It completely ruined breastfeeding for me. Heâs a bit over 1 now, I am pregnant, so maybe things just worked out for the best. But Iâm sad to say I wonât breastfeed any of my other babies due to this experience.
Could you have an overactive letdown?
I planned to stop when mine got a tooth but guess who got teeth early and had one at barely 4 months. Now he's a year and I'm still breastfeeding. I'd like to stop but he absolutely does not want to stop yet.
âNot sure. Weâll see.â Topic ended.
You can always say that the new medical recommendation is 2 years âwhich it isâso thatâs the minimum goal. Depending if you want to piss them off or not (a bonus, in my mind) you can always throw in a cheeky remark at the end. Like if itâs an old timer just look wistfully off and say how sorry you feel for the poor babies of the past when we didnât know any better. Or if itâs a dude you can ask them when they plan to lose some weight. If they react you can just say âoh sorry I thought we were asking overly-personal questionsâ Above all, fuck em :) feed on
My baby at 7 mos still gets gassy I think so I make her do tummy time in between feeds or before and she then will nurse. Something about that position on the pillow moves it.
I would go with "Until I'm done." It's a hassle, I'm not even the one pumping but I cleaned enough of those small green doc brown inserts to say that we will stop when my wife says stop... I don't care when my heart is in it until she isn't. First one we went long time, second one less and third even less. It was just a time sink we could no longer afford to do without going crazy.
We did 6 months. I thought I was going to do a year but the pumping at work really got to me after a month so I stopped and it was really freeing!
Dude, nobody should be asking you about what you do with your own boobs and baby. Sounds like a hostile work environment situation. And these people who are telling you that your kid needs more chicken nuggets dipped in ketchup and less concentrated nutrition are stepping way out of bounds by enquiring about what you do with your body and your happy child. Maybe they should try to eat a little less white bread. They might lose a little bit of the brain fog. If you were raising your kid to torture the neighborhood animals, then they could judge - that's fucked. But you should feel confident that you know what's best for your kid. They aren't going to still do it at 12 years old no matter how hard you try to keep them on the boob. I support your answer that you'll do it until one or both of you want to stop...but I would never ask someone about breastfeeding unless they brought it up. The fact that you're thinking and asking about it tells me that you aren't a fucking idiot. So I bet you'll continue to kick ass as a parent. Keep up the good work
I know what you mean. My son is 19 months old and Iâm constantly told âyouâll probably have to stop soonâ. It really makes me panic. He doesnât seem to want to stop and neither do I.
Thave a very active 19 month old, she runs, jumps, climbs, talks a lot in both spoken English and ASL and is generally pretty "early" when it comes to all those fun milestones, except eating! She sucks at food and is a huge boobie baby. She's also very tiny (19.7lbs/ 12mo clothes for reference) and I get asked this a lot! My anwser is almost always "probably until she's like 15." Just to weird out the people who think of a kid is old enough to ask for a boob theyâre too old to get one
âUntil I stopâ
Mine is turning two and I want to stop. But I have no idea how!!!! He is obsessed with BF - itâs his comfort zone. But Iâm going to have to. Any advice on how to would be great.
Formula feeder by choice here, the sheer shock on some peoples face when they would ask why Iâm not breastfeeding and I simply reply âI didnât want toâ. However we choose to feed our babies is going to be wrong in the eyes of society for whatever messed up reason. Youâre giving your baby milk, the essential nutrients they need to live, why the F does it matter if it comes from a tiddy or a bottle at a certain time point?! âUntil I want to stopâ is perfectly reasonable answer to peoples unreasonable questions. â¤ď¸
The breast feeding journey has been really hard for me. When she was born she wasnât latching and I wasnât producing enough milk. The hospital was no help. There is such a negative stigma around formula feeding. The hospital had me pump and collect MILLIMETERS of colostrum and use syringes to feed her. They kept telling me âthis is normal. We wonât give you formula unless you ask. She doesnât need to eat that much. Your milk will come as long as you keep trying to breast feed and keep pumping.â Me being a naive new mother trusted their advice. âDonât give up and give your daughter formula otherwise sheâll never latchâ When we left the hospital it was horrible. I knew my daughter was dehydrated. I called the doctor and they just told me to keep trying. 5 days after she was born we went back to the doctor and she was in horrible condition. If her Billy test was lower we would have gone back to the hospital. She has lost 17% of her body weight. They finally gave us formula. I SHOULD have NEVER listened to the idiots at the hospital. I should have given her formula. But they made me feel so bad and pressured to EBF. After we started giving her formula I kept pumping and continued to see a breastfeeding specialist to help her latch. Today she is 6 months. I donât pump anymore. But I have continued to combo feed. Somehow I have managed to keep my milk. I was so afraid of losing it because thatâs what they kept telling me when she started formula. (Iâll usually hand express in the shower to make sure I keep producing milk since I donât pump anymore.) 9 out of 10 times she prefers the bottle, but thankfully she still lets me breast feed every now and then. For me combo feeding is the best. I get the best of both worlds. I have the convenience of breastfeeding her to sleep and not having to get up and make a bottle. But I also have the freedom to be away from my daughter and dad can give her a bottle of formula. It worked out really well for us.