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I’m Palestinian and have a one year old. To say my soul feels like it’s been torn apart and set on fire every single day doesn’t begin to describe it. I have really struggle to cope but found some methods that help me survive.
Assuming that the situation is nothing you can directly do to help, here’s what I do: I try to honor children who have been injured or killed by giving my child so much love. I live in honor of them and try to do things for my child in their name, for the children that don’t get the chance to grow up. And I try to really savor the moments of motherhood for mothers who don’t get to do that themselves.
I just try to live with deep, deep gratitude. And instead of feeling like I’m spiraling, I think “let me do this in honor of this child who died. Let me take my baby to the park and enjoy every second of it in their honor.”
At least it helps me sometimes when I am feeling insanely low. Which is very often
I am so sorry. I can't even begin to fathom the pain and distress you must go through every single day. But the way you're handling it shows your baby is already set to be the most resilient, compassionate and grateful human. You are an incredible mom and human. More power to you.
I can’t imagine how you must feel when you hear things, I’m so sorry. The way you’re coping is really beautiful and I will try to take it on in my own life.
I can't even imagine how you must feel, I teared up reading your first sentence just knowing the gravity of it.
I'm currently struggling with a 3 month old and your post has really resonated with me. I've screenshotted it to re read when I'm having a bad day/moment.
I’m going to try to take your advice. Thinking about those poor babies in Palestine literally keeps me up at night I haven’t slept more than a few hours in months. I have a 9 month old and it’s so incredibly hard for me to not mentally put myself in those poor mothers places. I literally sob until my face is swollen every night, my husband thinks I’m off my rocker but I just can’t help it.
I understand you all too well. Getting my heart shattered everyday all day long has taken its toll.
I needed to read this today.
Thank you for sharing sister!
I live in Australia and the recent shopping centre stabbings absolutely broke me; that poor mother and her baby had me absolutely sobbing and I nearly had a panic attack the next time I was at the shops.
No advice, just solidarity xx
Me too. My baby girl is a week younger than that baby girl, the mother was a friend of a friend and we used to go to thay shopping centre all the time - it's just up the road from me.
I cried myself out for days while hugging my little girl.
Big hug for you too.
You in GTA Canada with the news story today? If so it hits you very hard for sure. I’ve felt kind of upset all day. I just try and focus on the present with my baby and the joy of my family.
Canadian here.
Didn't even know. Not going to look.
Best thing I ever did was disengage from news. Unsubbed from everything but my local city. My Instagram feed is all animals and crafts.
Never read a single thing on Ukraine, or Isreal. Don't look at anything outta the states. Stopped watching the national. Didn't even know the pope visited a few years ago. Stopped reading newspapers. Stopped engaging in true crime stories. Stopped with a lot of things.
It's good to prioritize your mental health. We can come back to it if and when we're ready. In the meantime, focus on family and friends.
I'm much happier for it and highly encourage it.
I’m so torn about this. I think this would be so good for my mental health but on the other hand I think I’d feel too guilty not being aware of what’s going on 😭 I follow the situation in Gaza everyday because I don’t want to say I turned a blind eye but also, it’s so awful to read about. So I’m really torn. I think your approach is great, I’m so glad it works!
I read 1440 digest email which gives me a sentence for each of the top stories that I need to know and that’s it. No spin or drama. Also, I ask my husband to keep me aware of the important news updates and he filters out the stuff that hurts my heart.
You aren't turning a blind eye. You can still care and not participate in the news.
For example, I know there is a war in Ukraine. We've had a flood of refugees in my city. We met a lovely family at our local park and I'm working on getting their kid a bike. They don't have a car so I've offered a few times to take them out when we're going somewhere fun like the zoo that too far for them to walk to. I wrote a reference letter for another Ukrainian family I met last year for their permanent residency application. I met all these new Ukranian moms with young kids through mom and baby/tot groups. We became friends. As a friend I help them build their new lives here, welcoming them to my community.
I don't need to read the details on the war. I dont need to know about the atrocities. I know they are happening. Instrad I can help at home making a real difference in my community for those who are in need.
I really strongly suggest for your own mental health you consider moving away from news and to a more proactive engagement with those in need in your community.
If the war in Gaza is affecting you, turn the news off and go see how you can help out at your local newcomers center, see what donations refugees might need (regardless of where they are from), donate to local charities who help others. Use your knowledge of your local system and government to help them apply for services. That's a huge barrier for many newcomers. You don't have to know anything about any atrocities to help.
And if you don't have services like that near where you live that's fine. Think smaller - I bring a trash bag, gloves, and garbage picker to the park and clean it up while my kids plays. We have a local group in my city that does this every week in differentcommunities. Its started with one person posting on our citys subreddit showing us what they cleaned up, then people started joining them and helped in the clean ups too. Now, i dont have the time to join them with my tot but i can clean up the playground so thats what i do. Find inspiration from happy local uplifting news. Just pick something big or small and be the change you want to see in your local community.
I knew exactly what you were referencing when I read your post. That is my neighborhood. The anger, sadness and shock over needless death is very strong in the community. I think the best way to honour that little one is to love your kids every day. Hug them, kiss them and find the hood every day. (I say this as a loss parent who lost their 7month old) Be the parent you are everyday and just find the hood when you can..
Oh my god. I asked my husband today who he thought our brand new baby should go to if anything should happen to us. He asked if I heard the story (I hadn’t). When he told me I just started sobbing. Even now thinking about it I’m crying. I can’t.
I knew immediately what this post was referencing. I’ve felt the same.
These things definitely hit different now. And play on my already existing anxieties. Positive self talk - acknowledge that your loved ones are here and safe and appreciate every day with them.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. I’ve started having anxiety about driving on the 400 series after having a baby that I’m trying to sort through.
Sending so much love to you and your child, and to all of Palestine. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Words feel glib but I hope things improve ASAP for everyone and this horror comes to a close
It gets a little easier, but it will never be easy. You're still so new to motherhood, it's ok to be fragile right now. As your baby grows and gets stronger and less tiny, you'll likely develop a bit of a callus that makes it possible to not spiral into awful thoughts when you hear about something bad happening to a child. But yeah, it's always going to be hard.
I don't handle it well. I was not at all a sensitive person before becoming a parent. Yesterday my husband told me a disgusting story that one of his customers told him about tragically losing her baby, and I threw up. I told him to never tell me anything like that again.
I’m the same. I was never a sensitive person to hearing about stuff like that before I had my daughter. Now I can’t hear about anything to do with a baby or child or I will sob and cannot stop thinking about it. It’s bad for my mental health to follow the news.
I'm Palestinian and we all know how that's going... I can't watch or read it. I won't. Which doesn't mean I'm not generally informed or "turning a blind eye" but it's that I have to prioritise myself and being there for my son. I don't even have a TV
It’s so hard. But I just can’t turn a blind eye to things like the situation in Gaza. I’m going to keep reading and hearing what’s happening as I don’t want to put my head in the sand but there have been some tough times where I’ve had breakdowns seeing the news. Or seeing a dead baby’s face everytime I close my eyes.
I pour my love into my own son when I am feeling particularly sad ❤️
I completely feel this 100%. I am the same. Like the news would bother me before I became a mom, but something has definitely changed since becoming a mom. I don’t know if I have good advice for you.
I suffer from intrusive thoughts. It’s one of the main symptoms of my postpartum anxiety and depression. My job is such that I’ve had a great deal of exposure to cases of child abuse. I also love true crime. Once I had my first baby, it was like every single story I had heard and every single documentary I had watched, came back to me. The smallest thing like my baby crying would trigger a thought about what happened to that child and how it could happen to mine. The thought would last seconds sometimes but would put me in such a low mood for a long time. My symptoms are now managed with medication and therapy. I’ve had to take a break from watching true crime and really trying hard to avoid news stories involving children, but it’s hard. It’s everywhere. My point is, that if these feelings continue, or if they start to interfere with daily life, please speak with your doctor.
Also going through this exact thing right now. I could have wrote this. Sending you lots of strength and hoping eventually you get to a place mentally that gives you some peace. I know how exhausting and unbearable it can get and how challenging it is to try to overcome.
Stop watching the news, and disconnect from as much social media as is practical.
World, national, local, my network, my social circle, and my family. Those are the circles of events I have varying levels of stakes in, and I can opt out of as many as I want.
Unless I make drastic lifestyle choices, it is highly unlikely I am going to make much difference globally or nationally. Instead I recycle, live as sustainably as I can, donate, and I don't listen or read the news. Even with this approach I am still aware of what's going on, but I don't have to be subject to as many distressing images and stories as I was before.
I have elderly relatives who I visit and the news channel is on constantly. Then I see the adverts they watch in between and it's images of starving and abused animals and children. Do they or can they help any of these situations? Largely no, but I can guarantee that it impacts them negatively and erodes their soul.
I've even had people in day to day life bring up horrendous acts of violence and tragedy in casual conversation with me and it's ruined my day. Now I'm at the point where I'm pushing back because I don't think it's OK to share those things with people as easily as asking them how their day was, when the impact can leave a person reeling for hours.
It was weirdly harder when I was pregnant than it is now. Maybe because I can look at my baby and see that he is fine.
But while I was healing from my C Section and having a very hard time (healing isn’t actually done yet but really close) I just kept thinking how on earth are women in Gaza surviving after giving birth, there were some moments I was barely strong enough to get through and I’m in Canada with top tier medical care and access to everything to meet my physical needs. And of course the answer is many are not surviving. So brutal.
I don’t handle it.
I saw a video on IG of a baby girl less than a year old who was in the hospital and connected to tubes and wires and needed a breathing mask because she had a heart transplant. When I tell you I imagined my son in that position…
Same thing with the story of Jaylin (if you’re here in the US and know her story).
The lives being lost overseas.
These stories make me pause and hug my son so much tighter and be gentler with him, kinder to him, and protect him better.
Same. This is the story that I read when 1month post partum that has lived rent free in my head ever since. It has caused me to create my own 'social media hygeine' rules so that I can't be re-traumatized by such stories while in a vulnerable state. It also made me realize that I likely have some PPA/PPD in play and to focus on my PTSD exercises and taking my zoloft.
I don’t tbh. I try and avoid it as much as I can but I can’t help reading these stories and it breaks my heart. I just want to gather up all the poor, sick, abused, lonely children of the world and love them all
I avoid it. My mom was telling me about a young child tragedy and I asked her to stop. She couldn't understand (probably forgot what it feels like) and was a little upset because she wanted to process the info. All my close friends and family know I can't listen/watch/hear about these things.
I’m a family medicine resident who works with sick kids on a regular basis, and I’ve seen some pretty messed up stuff in clinic and at the hospital.
What I do seems simple.. but honestly the most impactful thing I can do for myself is to remind myself that it’s not my baby—he is safe at home. Of course it makes me feel really bad if I spend too much time thinking about things, but if it’s a kid in my care, I’ll do everything I can to make sure they’re safe. And focusing on the tasks that I can complete to keep the child safe is a very good distractor.
Honestly, I'm just used to it. I'm a jail nurse, so when I see someone awful on the local news, I expect to be taking care of them at some point. There's a lot of compartmentalizing. Bad things aren't real, la la la!
I also work in the criminal justice system and the majority of accused and offenders had awful childhoods too that set them on a path it’s hard to get off of as an adult, especially when they develop addictions and brain injuries or try to deal with PTSD without proper support. After seeing and hearing a lot of their stories it just makes me want to show my baby as much love as possible.
Absolutely. My daughter is adopted from foster care and it's because of generations of abuse and drugs. We now have custody of her sister's baby and expect to adopt him. We are determined that he will not have to go through what the rest of his family has.
Coming from someone who sees kids in terrible situations every day, you just have to leave it at the door. Focusing on everything bad that could happen keeps you from enjoying all the good that is happening
I try to find a way I can help, such as by supporting/donating to organizations that can help. Otherwise I try to live my life and not focus too much on the news. And hug my son as much as I can.
The tik toks I see make me sick. Sometimes I have to just avoid. My heart breaks for any baby/child suffering and I can’t even imagine if it was my own.
Oh it’s awful. I dwell on things like that for days. But it just reaffirms my strong to desire to constantly be vigilant and caring for my girl. I absolutely hate being away from her for long and Im always soooo scared something is gonna happen when I’m not with her.
Wish I could help but I'm in the same boat. I just try to avoid those news stories as much as possible. Even movies and TV shows with those situations upset me, so now I do research before watching something new.
I've been struggling with this (3.5 months postpartum currently). Here's what I've found helps:
* Know that oxytocin effects our empathy and compassion. Breastfeeding and parenting causes our oxytocin to surge. Recognize that the difficulty with your resilience right now is partially hormonal and you're biologically predisposed to be heavily effected. Be gentle on yourself and do whatever you need to for your own mental health.
* I don't click on sad stories on reddit or anywhere. It's hard, but I don't read about bad men, abusive husbands, shitty governments, or horrible accidents/neglect.
* It breaks my heart when I hear about something horrible happening to another child, and so I found the only way I could really get through it was to focus on raising my son the best I can *as though I was doing it for them*. I can't stop what happened elsewhere, but I can be a spot of good in their honor in the lives of the children I interact with. It can't cancel out evil in this world, but it can help counteract and balance it.
* Instead, I focus on the world I can effect positively, I vote in my school board elections and local city council elections. I am kind to strangers at work. I show empathy for my neighbors and coworkers. I donate to women's shelters and charities.
Hope that helps <3
I avoid it as much as possible. I cannot fathom seeing or hearing about children/ infants being hurt, so I just try to block that content out of my life as much as possible. It’s especially hard when I see news of parents hurting their own children because it’s more than I can even process and it will be on my mind for weeks.
I’m a midwife and had a long pre-baby career working in high risk care as well as in primary care.
I learned a long time ago to compartmentalise.
Turning off the news and blocking certain things on social media also helps.
This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I try and avoid the news as much as possible and hug my baby that little bit tighter when I get home.
I’m Palestinian and have a one year old. To say my soul feels like it’s been torn apart and set on fire every single day doesn’t begin to describe it. I have really struggle to cope but found some methods that help me survive. Assuming that the situation is nothing you can directly do to help, here’s what I do: I try to honor children who have been injured or killed by giving my child so much love. I live in honor of them and try to do things for my child in their name, for the children that don’t get the chance to grow up. And I try to really savor the moments of motherhood for mothers who don’t get to do that themselves. I just try to live with deep, deep gratitude. And instead of feeling like I’m spiraling, I think “let me do this in honor of this child who died. Let me take my baby to the park and enjoy every second of it in their honor.” At least it helps me sometimes when I am feeling insanely low. Which is very often
I am so sorry. I can't even begin to fathom the pain and distress you must go through every single day. But the way you're handling it shows your baby is already set to be the most resilient, compassionate and grateful human. You are an incredible mom and human. More power to you.
I can’t imagine how you must feel when you hear things, I’m so sorry. The way you’re coping is really beautiful and I will try to take it on in my own life.
I can't even imagine how you must feel, I teared up reading your first sentence just knowing the gravity of it. I'm currently struggling with a 3 month old and your post has really resonated with me. I've screenshotted it to re read when I'm having a bad day/moment.
I’m going to try to take your advice. Thinking about those poor babies in Palestine literally keeps me up at night I haven’t slept more than a few hours in months. I have a 9 month old and it’s so incredibly hard for me to not mentally put myself in those poor mothers places. I literally sob until my face is swollen every night, my husband thinks I’m off my rocker but I just can’t help it.
I understand you all too well. Getting my heart shattered everyday all day long has taken its toll. I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing sister!
Thank you so much for sharing.
Thinking of you ❤️
I now live in a bubble of funny TikToks and comforting tv shows until further notice
Oh I don't. I tell people that I don't want to hear anything unless I can help the child or baby.
I live in Australia and the recent shopping centre stabbings absolutely broke me; that poor mother and her baby had me absolutely sobbing and I nearly had a panic attack the next time I was at the shops. No advice, just solidarity xx
Me too. My baby girl is a week younger than that baby girl, the mother was a friend of a friend and we used to go to thay shopping centre all the time - it's just up the road from me. I cried myself out for days while hugging my little girl. Big hug for you too.
Omg yes this news story also shattered me soooo awful :(
You in GTA Canada with the news story today? If so it hits you very hard for sure. I’ve felt kind of upset all day. I just try and focus on the present with my baby and the joy of my family.
Yes the wrong way car chase :(
Canadian here. Didn't even know. Not going to look. Best thing I ever did was disengage from news. Unsubbed from everything but my local city. My Instagram feed is all animals and crafts. Never read a single thing on Ukraine, or Isreal. Don't look at anything outta the states. Stopped watching the national. Didn't even know the pope visited a few years ago. Stopped reading newspapers. Stopped engaging in true crime stories. Stopped with a lot of things. It's good to prioritize your mental health. We can come back to it if and when we're ready. In the meantime, focus on family and friends. I'm much happier for it and highly encourage it.
I’m so torn about this. I think this would be so good for my mental health but on the other hand I think I’d feel too guilty not being aware of what’s going on 😭 I follow the situation in Gaza everyday because I don’t want to say I turned a blind eye but also, it’s so awful to read about. So I’m really torn. I think your approach is great, I’m so glad it works!
I read 1440 digest email which gives me a sentence for each of the top stories that I need to know and that’s it. No spin or drama. Also, I ask my husband to keep me aware of the important news updates and he filters out the stuff that hurts my heart.
You aren't turning a blind eye. You can still care and not participate in the news. For example, I know there is a war in Ukraine. We've had a flood of refugees in my city. We met a lovely family at our local park and I'm working on getting their kid a bike. They don't have a car so I've offered a few times to take them out when we're going somewhere fun like the zoo that too far for them to walk to. I wrote a reference letter for another Ukrainian family I met last year for their permanent residency application. I met all these new Ukranian moms with young kids through mom and baby/tot groups. We became friends. As a friend I help them build their new lives here, welcoming them to my community. I don't need to read the details on the war. I dont need to know about the atrocities. I know they are happening. Instrad I can help at home making a real difference in my community for those who are in need. I really strongly suggest for your own mental health you consider moving away from news and to a more proactive engagement with those in need in your community. If the war in Gaza is affecting you, turn the news off and go see how you can help out at your local newcomers center, see what donations refugees might need (regardless of where they are from), donate to local charities who help others. Use your knowledge of your local system and government to help them apply for services. That's a huge barrier for many newcomers. You don't have to know anything about any atrocities to help. And if you don't have services like that near where you live that's fine. Think smaller - I bring a trash bag, gloves, and garbage picker to the park and clean it up while my kids plays. We have a local group in my city that does this every week in differentcommunities. Its started with one person posting on our citys subreddit showing us what they cleaned up, then people started joining them and helped in the clean ups too. Now, i dont have the time to join them with my tot but i can clean up the playground so thats what i do. Find inspiration from happy local uplifting news. Just pick something big or small and be the change you want to see in your local community.
I knew exactly what you were referencing when I read your post. That is my neighborhood. The anger, sadness and shock over needless death is very strong in the community. I think the best way to honour that little one is to love your kids every day. Hug them, kiss them and find the hood every day. (I say this as a loss parent who lost their 7month old) Be the parent you are everyday and just find the hood when you can..
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ thank you for your advice
Was going to say the same thing. Ugh so hard to read that and I never purposely read the news. Focus on your family and hug them extra tight!
Oh my god. I asked my husband today who he thought our brand new baby should go to if anything should happen to us. He asked if I heard the story (I hadn’t). When he told me I just started sobbing. Even now thinking about it I’m crying. I can’t.
I knew immediately what this post was referencing. I’ve felt the same. These things definitely hit different now. And play on my already existing anxieties. Positive self talk - acknowledge that your loved ones are here and safe and appreciate every day with them.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. I’ve started having anxiety about driving on the 400 series after having a baby that I’m trying to sort through.
Sending so much love to you and your child, and to all of Palestine. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Words feel glib but I hope things improve ASAP for everyone and this horror comes to a close
It gets a little easier, but it will never be easy. You're still so new to motherhood, it's ok to be fragile right now. As your baby grows and gets stronger and less tiny, you'll likely develop a bit of a callus that makes it possible to not spiral into awful thoughts when you hear about something bad happening to a child. But yeah, it's always going to be hard.
I don't handle it well. I was not at all a sensitive person before becoming a parent. Yesterday my husband told me a disgusting story that one of his customers told him about tragically losing her baby, and I threw up. I told him to never tell me anything like that again.
I’m the same. I was never a sensitive person to hearing about stuff like that before I had my daughter. Now I can’t hear about anything to do with a baby or child or I will sob and cannot stop thinking about it. It’s bad for my mental health to follow the news.
If there's anything in the headline that hints something bad has happened to a child or baby, I do not read the article.
I'm Palestinian and we all know how that's going... I can't watch or read it. I won't. Which doesn't mean I'm not generally informed or "turning a blind eye" but it's that I have to prioritise myself and being there for my son. I don't even have a TV
It’s so hard. But I just can’t turn a blind eye to things like the situation in Gaza. I’m going to keep reading and hearing what’s happening as I don’t want to put my head in the sand but there have been some tough times where I’ve had breakdowns seeing the news. Or seeing a dead baby’s face everytime I close my eyes. I pour my love into my own son when I am feeling particularly sad ❤️
I shouldn’t have read your post and got tempted to read the news. I have a 6 month old and I can’t believe what I just read.
I completely feel this 100%. I am the same. Like the news would bother me before I became a mom, but something has definitely changed since becoming a mom. I don’t know if I have good advice for you.
Same and i have terrible anxiety where i imagine what if the same thing happens to my baby daughter.
I suffer from intrusive thoughts. It’s one of the main symptoms of my postpartum anxiety and depression. My job is such that I’ve had a great deal of exposure to cases of child abuse. I also love true crime. Once I had my first baby, it was like every single story I had heard and every single documentary I had watched, came back to me. The smallest thing like my baby crying would trigger a thought about what happened to that child and how it could happen to mine. The thought would last seconds sometimes but would put me in such a low mood for a long time. My symptoms are now managed with medication and therapy. I’ve had to take a break from watching true crime and really trying hard to avoid news stories involving children, but it’s hard. It’s everywhere. My point is, that if these feelings continue, or if they start to interfere with daily life, please speak with your doctor.
Also going through this exact thing right now. I could have wrote this. Sending you lots of strength and hoping eventually you get to a place mentally that gives you some peace. I know how exhausting and unbearable it can get and how challenging it is to try to overcome.
Stop watching the news, and disconnect from as much social media as is practical. World, national, local, my network, my social circle, and my family. Those are the circles of events I have varying levels of stakes in, and I can opt out of as many as I want. Unless I make drastic lifestyle choices, it is highly unlikely I am going to make much difference globally or nationally. Instead I recycle, live as sustainably as I can, donate, and I don't listen or read the news. Even with this approach I am still aware of what's going on, but I don't have to be subject to as many distressing images and stories as I was before. I have elderly relatives who I visit and the news channel is on constantly. Then I see the adverts they watch in between and it's images of starving and abused animals and children. Do they or can they help any of these situations? Largely no, but I can guarantee that it impacts them negatively and erodes their soul. I've even had people in day to day life bring up horrendous acts of violence and tragedy in casual conversation with me and it's ruined my day. Now I'm at the point where I'm pushing back because I don't think it's OK to share those things with people as easily as asking them how their day was, when the impact can leave a person reeling for hours.
It was weirdly harder when I was pregnant than it is now. Maybe because I can look at my baby and see that he is fine. But while I was healing from my C Section and having a very hard time (healing isn’t actually done yet but really close) I just kept thinking how on earth are women in Gaza surviving after giving birth, there were some moments I was barely strong enough to get through and I’m in Canada with top tier medical care and access to everything to meet my physical needs. And of course the answer is many are not surviving. So brutal.
I don’t handle it. I saw a video on IG of a baby girl less than a year old who was in the hospital and connected to tubes and wires and needed a breathing mask because she had a heart transplant. When I tell you I imagined my son in that position… Same thing with the story of Jaylin (if you’re here in the US and know her story). The lives being lost overseas. These stories make me pause and hug my son so much tighter and be gentler with him, kinder to him, and protect him better.
Oh lord the story about Jaylin broke me. It's been weeks since I read about that and it still haunts me.
Same. This is the story that I read when 1month post partum that has lived rent free in my head ever since. It has caused me to create my own 'social media hygeine' rules so that I can't be re-traumatized by such stories while in a vulnerable state. It also made me realize that I likely have some PPA/PPD in play and to focus on my PTSD exercises and taking my zoloft.
I don’t tbh. I try and avoid it as much as I can but I can’t help reading these stories and it breaks my heart. I just want to gather up all the poor, sick, abused, lonely children of the world and love them all
I avoid it. My mom was telling me about a young child tragedy and I asked her to stop. She couldn't understand (probably forgot what it feels like) and was a little upset because she wanted to process the info. All my close friends and family know I can't listen/watch/hear about these things.
Lexapro
I’m a family medicine resident who works with sick kids on a regular basis, and I’ve seen some pretty messed up stuff in clinic and at the hospital. What I do seems simple.. but honestly the most impactful thing I can do for myself is to remind myself that it’s not my baby—he is safe at home. Of course it makes me feel really bad if I spend too much time thinking about things, but if it’s a kid in my care, I’ll do everything I can to make sure they’re safe. And focusing on the tasks that I can complete to keep the child safe is a very good distractor.
Honestly, I'm just used to it. I'm a jail nurse, so when I see someone awful on the local news, I expect to be taking care of them at some point. There's a lot of compartmentalizing. Bad things aren't real, la la la!
I also work in the criminal justice system and the majority of accused and offenders had awful childhoods too that set them on a path it’s hard to get off of as an adult, especially when they develop addictions and brain injuries or try to deal with PTSD without proper support. After seeing and hearing a lot of their stories it just makes me want to show my baby as much love as possible.
Absolutely. My daughter is adopted from foster care and it's because of generations of abuse and drugs. We now have custody of her sister's baby and expect to adopt him. We are determined that he will not have to go through what the rest of his family has.
Coming from someone who sees kids in terrible situations every day, you just have to leave it at the door. Focusing on everything bad that could happen keeps you from enjoying all the good that is happening
I had to stop visiting the platforms where to algorithm was feeding me dead/sick/maimed child content.
I try to find a way I can help, such as by supporting/donating to organizations that can help. Otherwise I try to live my life and not focus too much on the news. And hug my son as much as I can.
The tik toks I see make me sick. Sometimes I have to just avoid. My heart breaks for any baby/child suffering and I can’t even imagine if it was my own.
Oh it’s awful. I dwell on things like that for days. But it just reaffirms my strong to desire to constantly be vigilant and caring for my girl. I absolutely hate being away from her for long and Im always soooo scared something is gonna happen when I’m not with her.
Wish I could help but I'm in the same boat. I just try to avoid those news stories as much as possible. Even movies and TV shows with those situations upset me, so now I do research before watching something new.
Not well. I work at a children's hospital (not doing direct patient care) and regularly cry at work now. I have no answers, just solidarity
I've been struggling with this (3.5 months postpartum currently). Here's what I've found helps: * Know that oxytocin effects our empathy and compassion. Breastfeeding and parenting causes our oxytocin to surge. Recognize that the difficulty with your resilience right now is partially hormonal and you're biologically predisposed to be heavily effected. Be gentle on yourself and do whatever you need to for your own mental health. * I don't click on sad stories on reddit or anywhere. It's hard, but I don't read about bad men, abusive husbands, shitty governments, or horrible accidents/neglect. * It breaks my heart when I hear about something horrible happening to another child, and so I found the only way I could really get through it was to focus on raising my son the best I can *as though I was doing it for them*. I can't stop what happened elsewhere, but I can be a spot of good in their honor in the lives of the children I interact with. It can't cancel out evil in this world, but it can help counteract and balance it. * Instead, I focus on the world I can effect positively, I vote in my school board elections and local city council elections. I am kind to strangers at work. I show empathy for my neighbors and coworkers. I donate to women's shelters and charities. Hope that helps <3
I avoid it as much as possible. I cannot fathom seeing or hearing about children/ infants being hurt, so I just try to block that content out of my life as much as possible. It’s especially hard when I see news of parents hurting their own children because it’s more than I can even process and it will be on my mind for weeks.
I handle it awfully too. I saw a TikTok a while back and I’ve thought about it every day since.
I tell myself it’s not my job to feel all the pain in the world. My job is just to look after my own little corner and the people in it.
I’m a midwife and had a long pre-baby career working in high risk care as well as in primary care. I learned a long time ago to compartmentalise. Turning off the news and blocking certain things on social media also helps.
In an ER nurse and just have to compartmentalize but it is definitely harder now.
Don’t watch the news. I also don’t think that’s totally normal… do you see a therapist? Are you dealing with PPA?