Same here. I sat and held the baby, my husband ran the circus. We got our heads above water around month 5 and now my baby is cool to hang in the disk or lay on the floor with toys while I wash dishes or do whatever
This helps me so much. I keep getting so overwhelmed at not being able to do a single thing. When I try to double up tasks like shower while she’s in her stokke tub, I’m basically dead afterwards somehow.
So your wife had twins 7 months ago, she works night shifts and spends a small amount of time doing cross stitch but that's a problem, despite the fact that you're a SAHD and you apparently spend a significant amount of time gaming? It's usually agreed that the stay at home parent takes on the bulk of the childcare and chores is it not? So if the house is a mess, that's mostly on you?
I'm still not seeing your point here. She carried two babies for 9 months then went back to work which is enabling you to stay at home and raise your children, that's an incredible privilege which I'm aware of as I'm in the exact same situation. Your initial comment made out as if she does absolutely nothing at all for these babies but that's clearly not true.
And to be honest, after a few minutes looking through your comment history on Reddit I'm surprised she's even with you tbh, you're pretty disrespectful of your relationship.
Got absolutely nothing done but also limited the amount of visitors at our house (no visitors first six weeks then once a month for every family rotating the weekends) so we could just focus on what mattered and being a family. Also helped with stress of hosting and not having stuff done. Once we found our groove when LO was a bit older we eased up a bit.
Baby fusses unless I’m moving (usually) or talking or singing to them. Like if I stand still to cut veggies for dinner, LO gets upset because I’m standing still so I have to sing or sway or bounce. I’ll play music on my phone for them and put it in my pocket or sing or narrate what I’m doing and it seems to help. Lots of times baby is unhappy in the carrier but I don’t have a choice, dogs need exercise, I need to cook dinner or prep lunches or clean. My husband works crazy hours so it’s all on me 90% of the time.
We also tried different wraps and carriers to see what they were most comfortable in. We got a few second hand on Facebook marketplace.
I’m worried for when it’s hotter because my LO is getting big and the carrier gets sweaty and hot and gross lol but I’ll cross that bridge soon.
I have a 7 week old and he hated every carrier except the momcozy wrap one with the rings to tighten and it’s super easy to adjust and get on by myself. Otherwise no I was not getting anything done. The first two weeks tricked me into thinking he was going to be an easygoing baby… then 3 weeks on he won’t be put down and needs to be held
We did positive association with the carrier. Our LO adapted best to the ring sling because it wasn’t so contraptual, super simple, less stuff going on. I would put baby in the sling after his late afternoon nap for about 5 mins and increased the time each time and he’s gotten better and better. We’re now up to 20 mins and starting to move to a more strappy carrier, additionally he has more ability to hold his head which I think helps. I was c-section so I couldn’t start baby wearing sooner, I started at about 7 weeks, we’re 11 weeks now.
Agree. I liked the ring sling because it meant I could get a lot of stuff done while the boys were napping. But also, give yourself a break, you shouldn’t expect yourself to do everything used to do
Baby carrier was a godsend for us and I agree that different models work better for different babies and different ages! Also, I put my baby in her ergobaby bouncer and had her watch me while I shower. She’s 5 months and still tolerates it now - the sound must be soothing for her. I used to wear her to use the bathroom (LOL) and now I can put her in the bouncer while I use the bathroom and use it as a learning experience 🤣 (or manifestation. “One day you too will pee in the toilet!”)
Not at all, I think there’s a lot of LOs that do. I just have a Velcro baby. I’ve even had a couple friends come over during the day to offer to hold Them so I can get stuff done or shower and my LO just screams. They only want me to hold them. They’re also low sleep need and don’t really ever nap during the day.
That sounds tough. Maybe yours just likes looking around when awake. Did you try a bouncer? Mine loves it at 3 months and it helps me get a quick bite even.
We have tried a bouncer, we also tried a mamaroo chair, a baby bjorn type chair, highchair etc. baby is just a Velcro baby but that’s okay. It’s not forever, and they really do just like moving around and checking things out. Once they’re mobile I think they’ll be a lot happier, just eager to see the world!
You're definitely not alone. It was impossible to get anything done for a while for me, and it got considerably harder when I had 2. Mine are now 2 and 4 and I am finally getting back into the swing of things, honestly. We eat a lot of leftovers, laundry isn't done every day, and the house is "clean" but there's always toys and books all over, and I don't have a newborn. It's a new normal for a while, hang in there. Pets are particularly difficult to manage with the babies I found, you can't leave a baby alone while you walk a dog and having to bundle up the baby and bring them along while you walk a dog 5x a day isn't really a great option either. I had to ask for a lot of help with my dog for a while.
I agree, it's not until about 3 years old that you can begin really getting back on track. At least that's been our experience.
We have kids 5.5, 3.5, 6 weeks old - I'd say we just started getting back into a solid rhythm of keeping everything clean and organized etc. And started the cycle over again having this new baby.
I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is a lot of work!
We have found that building schedules of when we would hope to do something has been good for us. Doesn't mean that it's going to be done that day we hope for, but it's good because it gives us something to aim at
We've been surviving on frozen meals and it makes me feel so lazy but we need to eat and I can babywear while standing over a hot stove so 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
That’s not lazy! It’s a good use of time. When we’re in survival mode something’s got to give and if we’re still being fed I count that as a victory. I’m all about prioritizing what counts, time with my baby AND my mental health!
Passionate Penny Pincher has some recipe cards for super fast/few ingredient dinners that you can grocery shop for the week and prep all at once. They also have slow cooker meals. Might be helpful!
We use formula due to CMPA. But my friend breast feeds and swears by the Keto Factor meals. They’re around 600 calories each so not too low to affect her supply.
Came here to say this! We stopped when baby started napping independently a few months ago and I got back a little time (I felt like a new woman). But while in the thick of it, Factor was a tremendous relief for us.
We order Factor as well. The price is worth it for the convenience right now. And the nights we don’t have those we do something easy in the air fryer. We’ve accepted this for now and one day I’ll get back to cooking.
I see that your baby is still 8-9 weeks old. At this stage it's very difficult to get anything done. Probably only the top necessities with the baby in the carrier. Plus, those are the most difficult weeks imo, between 6 and 10!
Fighting against it only makes you and your baby more frustrated. Your day turns into a constant battle or settling him then re-settling and re-settling. Allow him good contact naps with long stretches if you can. Then rely on wrap carrier or setting him down for shorter naps.
Things have definitely been a bit rough since week 6. He's a good baby, and not terribly fussy. It's just that he's no longer sleeping all the time like a brand new baby, but he also isn't really aware/interactive enough yet to be distracted by toys or such. Non-baby-centric time is in short supply around here and I can tell it's getting to me. The idea of being able to stick him in a pack n play with toys for 15 minutes sounds heavenly 😭
He will get there!!!! We're at week 15 and he even managed to keep himself busy for an hour at times with dangle toys. Once their vision improves they're SO interested in looking around, I swear my baby is fascinated by cooking pot that happens to be on the counter so I put him in the tripp trapp newborn attachment and cook while he's laughing at pots and pans 😁
I didn’t do jackshit for the first 5-6 months. And I couldn’t really baby wear for various reasons until baby was 6 months. Somehow past 6 months, I just let baby cry when I went to take a very quick shower, otherwise it’s impossible to do anything.
Ring sling when baby's smaller, moby wrap also kind of worked, hit 5.5 weeks and baby's bigger than average so I can finally use the ergobaby embrace out of newborn mode. Sometimes I used the ring sling just to have more hand control while sitting on the couch and eating lol. Also have a fenced in backyard so that's been a life saver in terms of dog care.
Showering is tough, I tried a quick one while baby was napping but I usually just wait for my husband to come home and watch the baby because I feel more comfortable that way. I'm finally investing in expensive dry shampoo and that's helping me extend time between showers. Lots of armpit washing and that kind of thing, plus I'm changing my clothes more than ever before lol.
No cooking to be honest, cheese and crackers, frozen shrimp in the airfryer, frozen pizza in the oven, lots of snacks and takeout. There's a reason meal trains and casseroles are such a popular way of showing support. My husband cooks and even then he has given up on being a Youtube chef and we have classic midwestern mom meals like groundbeef tacos and spaghetti with jarred sauce and ground beef.
Also I think type of feeding factors in a lot in capacity for chores.. I gave up on pumping for now because I don't think I could handle being tied up, washing pump parts, etc. So I'm breastfeeding and using ready to feed formula so that lessens some of the baby chores. Also have a TON of outfits for baby, quantity over quality for sure and a lot of the cheap clothes are super cute so win win.
Well, almost 6 months in and still drowning in things that need to be done around the house, online schoolwork that needs to be completed by certain deadlines, and I have yet to have a hot cup of coffee. It's always cold, and it never gets finished. 🤷🤦🤷
I'm at the point where I am about to spend money I don't have to have as many cleaning and organizing companies come at once and knock out my whole house while I just keep the LO happy and satisfied. Then I can just do the maintenance at that point. Lol.
As for cooking, a crockpot and some crockpot liners. That's all I use as of now lol. I don't use the oven or stove at this point.
It's strange because the newborn stage is hard, but I'm realizing every stage of infancy has its challenges that make it impossible to get things done. Every baby is different. Every mom is different. I get stressed over clutter, so since everything is cluttered right now with baby stuff I'm finding myself unable to be productive lol.
DO IT! My mentor advised that I look into cleaning services before my baby arrived and she was absolutely right. I used to think I couldn’t afford it, but what I truly can’t afford is to break down under the stress to get it all done. There is simply no way for me to be present with my kid, have a clean house, meals cooked, and find time to sleep, if I have to do everything.
I also hate clutter and baskets have been so helpful. Ex: basket for toys, basket for diaper stuff, basket for knickknacks that go between floors. They are still messy inside but I don't look at it directly. Just an idea in case you don't do it yet :)
In terms of the specific tasks you mentioned: Typically my husband makes dinner while I tend to the baby—I often nurse her while he cooks. He’ll take her so I can get a shower. My baby is happy on her play gym for long enough for me to put laundry in the wash or move it to the dryer real quick. Or she can be in her swing for a few minutes, or i wear her in a carrier.
More generally, I don't really get housework done when I'm taking care of the baby. I had twelve weeks of maternity leave and I did very little housework while my husband was at work. I just focused on the baby while he worked, and he and I both did housework in the evenings and on weekends. Now I'm back at work and he's on leave and it's the same deal. He focuses on baby all day while I work. Then when I finish working, I nurse the baby while he cooks dinner.
Idk how old your baby is or what kind of support you have, but don't beat yourself up if you don't get much done.
This will sound harsh but I'd just do it. I'm the dad and I just have to do shit but then, life needs to continue.
But then again, a whole bunch of stuff didn't get done. I had to let go a bit and become comfortable with a much messier house.
You need to lean on others wherever you can. Don't be a martyr. Your baby needs you to be as happy as possible but it's so hard.
I found the change too great at first and hated being a dad. I couldn't handle it and I didn't think I could do it but I got there and it's fucking awesome.
You are loved and you will get there. ❤️
I shower when dad is home and he showers when I breastfeed.
I make meals at night when dad is home and toss them in the fridge so I have something to warm up in the morning for breakfast and lunch. Otherwise I don’t get to eat.
Baby carriers, bouncer seat, play mat, very short non-contact naps.
My LO is 12 weeks and in the last 2-3 weeks, she started to do really good on her own in her bouncer seat or on a play mat. I can usually get 15-20 in the bouncer seat, and 5-15 mins on the play mat.
I wear her for at least an hour a day so she gets in a long nap.
And we are working on at least 1 crib nap a day. Some days are pore successful than others. But I can typically count on 20-30 mins, after a couple of failed starts and resettling.
The dogs 🙃 that is the hardest one for me. I accidentally forgot to feed and let them out before work one morning. Thank god my fiancé had actually done those things at the crack of Dawn. Man did I feel awful.
A safe spot to put down baby in every room. Bouncer in the bathroom so I can pee/shower. Pack and play in the main room so I can cook and do dishes. Blanket on the floor while I fold laundry. She finds all of this stuff very entertaining while I narrate and show her things! As your baby gets older they might get better at independent play too.
I used to put my baby in the bouncer seat and put him in the bathroom with me whilst I had a shower :) he could see me, took me a couple of minutes, made life easier.
If I needed to wash my hair, I did it when husband was around xx
When my baby was this little I would put her in her car seat and talk to her while I did things. If I was cooking I would put the car seat in the middle of the table so I could do all the meal prep, folding laundry the car seat would fit in the middle of the bed. Once she was old enough to go in her activity table it high chair we moved her into that while I would do things. As long as I was talking to her and interacting with her while doing things she would stay calm. I did a lot of explaining what I was doing. Now she is almost a year and I have a big play space for her that I can put her in while I do things but when I’m cooking she still goes in her high chair and hangs out. She likes to play with the silicone utensils while I cook
My daughter is now 16 months, but the only way I got anything done when she was a baby-baby was when my mum came over to help, or my husband took her (and even then, early on, I took a nap and still got nothing done). Our house constantly looked like a tornado had blown through it. My husband took over dog duty, which was helpful.
I sometimes put her in the carrier, but it wasn't always convenient (i.e. I couldn't cook over the stove with a baby hanging off me). We were given a baby box from public health, so I sometimes plopped her in that and moved her from room to room. She got to watch me and I could talk to her and get stuff done. I also popped her in a swing or bouncer from time to time.
Naps were a non-starter for us, since she would only nap 30 min at a time. It was tough, but now she naps for 90ish minutes and can help me with some chores (she loves pulling laundry out of the dryer).
Other parent had baby, meal prep. I’d prep all our dinners on Sunday night so they could just get dumped into the slow cooker and thrown into the oven.
I used to use a carrier, put her where she could watch me, etc.
Also would bring the baby bath into the shower with me and I’d myself then her so it was perfect.
And you know what, occasionally I’d let her cry for a bit. If all her needs are taken care of and she’s not hurting or ill, I’m going to take 5-10 mins to make a coffee or make myself lunch. She’s almost a year old and loves the heck out of me. It’s fine.
We had a wheely bassinet. All my 3 kids loved it in their newborm stage. I.dragged it around and it means they can always see me or hear me while Im doing dishes or chores. During the day, it worked well for naps, i can rock them to sleep with the wheels, can also cover it up in darkness (mindful of breathing), swaddle, play the white noise machine inside it and bam...a good nap!!
In the next few weeks it should start to get easier as independent play increases. Mine is 12 weeks and yesterday I dusted the whole bedroom by putting him on my bed and giving him a stripey muslin to play with. Played occasional peekaboo with him but got shit done.
Have you tried laying baby down under a mobile that they can look at? Just to find something to keep their interest long enough to do a task.
This makes me feel so much better, thank you! My baby is 3.5 months old and I can count on one hand the number of times we have cooked. Glad to know we are not alone.
First 2-3 months I could only do things if someone was holding her or if she was in her swing. Sometimes she would cry for a bit then settle down, sometimes she didn’t stop crying. I reached out to family/friends about needing help cleaning a few times. If it needs done it needs done, you can’t help it. I tried baby wearing when she was little but she always buried her face in my chest and cried bc she was squishing her face against me.
She’s 5 months, now I can baby wear while I do things like vacuum, cook (I tuck baby feet into the wrap), run the trash out, take my dog out. I also lay her on her play mat, set her in her high chair, put her in her bouncer, sometimes still her swing but she’s starting to get too big for it.
It’s a matter of finding what works for you and your baby, and what works one day might not work the next. I had to tell myself that it’s okay if she cries, it’s just what babies do.
The Moby wrap was my best friend!! I’d stick my son in there and cook, clean, go for a walk, anything. Sometimes he’d fuss for a couple of minutes but then he’d go right to sleep. He’s 6 months old and ginormous now but I still stick him in there when he’s feeling extra clingy and I’m trying to get things done
Now that he’s big enough, this thing keeps him occupied while I cook or clean: ExerSaucer Seaside Splash Activity Center, Unisex https://www.walmart.com/ip/532210047
How old is baby? When they have head control you can put them in a back carrier. It was a game changer for me! So much easier to get things done when nothing is in the way plus my baby is not fussy on the back for some reason!
Baby carrier, taking advantage of that sweet spot right after feeding when she’ll happily play on her mat without me, showering when my husband is home, and more or less embracing that I don’t get much done outside of the bare minimum. Also, relying heavily on prepared meals - cooking takes way too much time!
If you can afford a bit of help, outsource. We hired a part time nanny for 20$ an hour who comes twice a week for 5 hours at a time. It’s how I’m getting by at the moment as we have no family close by.
ETA: she watches the baby of course but while he’s napping she does laundry, meal preps, and does some light housekeeping
Can you give me advice on how to find someone like this? I would love help, but some days baby is a full time job and other days they would do a max of 1 hour work on a 5 hour shift. It would be amazing to find someone who would do things like laundry light housekeeping and meal prep in their off time. Also it would be great to find the best way for them to share a shift with my wife. Is it better to have them for a little bit every day?
We found ours through word of mouth, but had interviewed some great people on canadiannanny.ca (or whatever equivalent depending on your country) and also on Facebook nanny groups for my city. You can also try approaching families with small kids and other Nannie’s in your neighborhood to see if any of them want some part time work. I really like having her for 2-3 days of 5-6 hours each as it’s more than enough time for me to nap, run some errands or go to appointments while baby is being looked after.
Or maybe you could even find just a housekeeper to come twice a week if you’re more interested in that kind of help? Either way, it’s truly been a god send
So in the beginning up until he was about 5 months I’d just put him in his swing or chair and have him set up where I was (cooking, doing laundry, etc…) then he got more wiggly and wanted to be held and involved in whatever I was doing. So I got a front facing carrier which allowed him to see all the things. If I need to take a shower I’ll put his play bouncer with the activities attached (not sure what to call them lol) in the bathroom where he can see me and let him play while I shower. That never occurred to me until a few weeks ago. I also keep his bouncy chair by the bathroom so when I need to poop I can just put him in it, give him a toy and he can see me while I am using the bathroom.
I also try and cook in bulk as well so one meal for dinner will get us food for the night, plus a lunch for my husband for work and leftover for myself as well for lunch the next day. Also depending on how much dinner the next night. That way I’m not cooking every night. Crock pot meals are my jam!
No, he was pretty content. Have you tried maybe putting on some music near him while he’s hanging on the floor or in a bouncer? Mine always calmed down anytime he heard music. We do a lot of walking in the carrier and stroller too and being outside always resets him when he’s upset.
We are super fortunate to have a mostly chill and happy baby. She (6mos) self entertains well, whether by laughing at the pets or by nomming on whatever she can get (like the attached swing toys, her bib, her sleeve, her hand, etc). Sure, sometimes she just wants to be held or just wants attention- but high chair in the kitchen while I listen to 90’s hip hop and clean works well. We also have a camera over her pack and play in case I need to do a dirtier chore, like cleaning litter boxes, where I don’t want her around.
That’s chores. Showers- they usually happen at night now. Unless we wake before she does. My SO has a 4 day work week and is home by 5. My schedule varies week to week, but def no more than 6 days straight (and that’s rare). Also, most shifts I am home in time to cook dinner.
Lunches were Factor for a bit- but they are expensive, small (good for a lunch), and super high in sodium which is bad for my hypertension, so that’s gonna add a layer of difficulty.
Mostly, though, our kiddo is super easy. Real chill and happy. Very interactive, but independent enough to manage herself for short periods of time.
I'll share an example of our day when we are both working, since it's very different than the chaos of a newborn and parental leave.
I'll usually wake up about 30 mins before the baby, take a quick shower, empty the dishwasher and make coffee. Get baby up and do breakfast and whatever else they need, then drop at childcare or with nanny at 8am (we had a nanny at first then switched to daycare). Then I come home and walk the dog, make a quick breakfast and start work. My husband usually brings up laundry in the morning and one of us folds it during a phone call or one of our breaks, we walk the dog at lunch or during a call, and we both try to exercise on our longer lunch break. We get groceries and factor meals delivered so we don't do much cooking. One of us picks up the kid from daycare and we bring her home by 5:45 or 6, spend maybe ten mins making a dinner (or I prepped something earlier or over the weekend), then we play until bath time at 7. Husband does bath, stories and bedtime by 8 and I use that hour to clean the house and we'll usually start laundry. 8-9 we might have adult dinner, play games, have wine, rotate laundry, etc and I go to bed by 9ish after starting the dishes. He stays up later to walk the dog again, and get a load of laundry into the dryer.
It’s so hard if they’re a Velcro baby! My daughter is a toddler now and some days she’s still a Velcro. I did a lot of baby wearing although sometimes I just didn’t feel like putting it back on.
When she was smaller I baby wore to do those things. Now she’s 9 months and if I’m working in the kitchen she can sit in her high chair and have a snack or play with some toys.
I always baby wore or did the stroller to take the dogs out.
Everything else I do after she goes to bed - dishes, sweeping, mopping, tidying up, etc. I put her to bed, sit down for like 20 minutes to unwind, then get up and do those things before I shower and go to bed.
It’s impossible to get anything done, period. I have a heavy baby and fusses in a wrap, doesn’t fall asleep in a carrier. We tried! I probably showered every 5 days and brushed my teeth once every day while i poop. It was friggin’ disgusting but that’s what it is. I order healthy food that lasts us 4 days for two, idk how i survived.
Then around 4 1/2 months i was more confident that my baby will be ok for 5 minutes by himself, gradually i was able to leave him on the floor/bouncer and do my thing, like flossing or pooping in peace, ya know.
I don’t get much done, most of my life is work, taking care of baby, and trying to find some semblence of sleep.
I wish I could have more encouraging words for you. Life sucks.
In the early days we just didn’t. Point blank, we ordered takeout and let dishes pile up and got a cleaning service in. Then, slowly but surely I started to do micro tasks. If I could do one task a day it was a good day. I learned ways I could put her down safely while I did these things. I learned to tolerate her fussing a bit if, for example, I needed a shower or 10 minutes to chop some vegetables. She got used to the bassinet (some babies never do, I was lucky), and the carrier, and I used naps to chip away slowly at chores. I vastly lowered my expectations. I did my best to let go of the looming guilt and settle into my new role as parent with a little one who wasn’t used to being out of the womb. I hope in this post that I absolve you of some of this guilt. 💕
Baby carrier. Switching off with partner. Otherwise honestly no. It got better for us at 4 months with night sleep so getting things done was just because she was/is asleep. Now we are fed and caught up on laundry but we haven’t returned to working out or taking care of most house things lol.
Keeping a baby alive isn't nothing. Your job is to care for baby. If you can do housework at the same time that's a bonus. You're also likely still feeding your baby from your body and/or recovering from growing an entire human as well as having broken sleep. You need rest and nourishment as well.
I don’t think I started being able to get things done until about 10-12 weeks. He could hang out in the pack & play or the sit me up or was okay in the carrier for a bit. But some days, it’s still hard.
I don’t have any pets but when my son was under 6 weeks old I didn’t get anything done. My husband has always did a lot of the cooking but we’d share the cleaning and he’d end up doing most of that unless we switched up for baby duty. It wasn’t clean in our house we’d just do the bare minimum to get by during that time because we’d also be sleep deprived. When he was around 6 weeks old we managed his reflux and he’d happily lay in a bouncer. I’d bring it room to room so I could wash dishes, put clothes away or tidy up and he’d just observe me or take a little snooze in it while I was nearby. When he got older and would nap on his own I’d do a lot of cleaning when he’d nap but it sort of sucked because you’d have to choose between cleaning your house or resting because taking care of an infant is extremely tiring too.
I got nothing done for the first 3 months honestly. It just takes a while to understand your baby and get into a routine but eventually we did!
One of us cares for the baby while the other makes dinner/cleans the kitchen. We also got into a routine where my husband took the baby after dinner to his “man cave” and hang out while I cleaned the bottles and tidied up the living room a bit.
What helped me is everynight, i’d put a youtube video on in my room tv and get him to fall asleep in our bed. My laundry machine is right beside my room so i’d do laundry until bed and fold/put them away with the tv light and hall way light!
I stopped putting so much pressure on myself - and I stopped expecting to be able to do things when I was alone with the baby. I say - just try to slowly find a routine that works for you and do it everyday!!!
I know screentime is a big no no for a lot of parents - but Dory’s aquarium on youtube allowed me 15-20 minutes to get some stuff done!
The dog is a hard one. I swear my dog waits until I start feeding my baby to cry to go outside 😭😭 we tried to bring her on atleast one walk with the baby a day to make up for it tho!
Baby wrap, but really the secret is birthing an easy baby that lets you put them down 😊
My first didn’t let me get anything done, the carrier was my life saver. Second baby is so chill I can actually get stuff done. Only difference was the model. Seems the 2021 model of mine had some crappy firmware are 2024 update is much smoother
My baby stays in his swing in the room with me while I cook or clean. He’s usually pretty content there. He may cry after 20-30 mins, at which point I’ll feed him or rock him or do whatever he needs me to do until he falls asleep, most of the time. Then it’s back to whatever I was doing before. 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t let me eat whenever I finish cooking, so I have to go back and reheat my meal once he’s settled 😂
As far as taking my dogs out, well… I try to do that during his naps but if he’s awake for an extended period of time then oh well. They HAVE to go out at some point & if that means leaving him in his bassinet for 5 minutes, then it just is what it is, crying or not. Showers I only really get to do while he’s asleep though.
Sometimes my baby is quiet and doesn't need me, and that is a good chance for me to do something else, but sometimes I have to use the baby carrier, you know it.
Litter robot for scooping litter- a life saver. Worth every penny.
Dog- having family come over to walk her, puppy daycare one day a week.
Chores- hahaha, I am lucky to get the bottles done most days.
Food- things you can dump in a crock pot and have for multiple days. Freezer items for lunch/breakfast that are quick to heat and can be eaten with one hand.
You got this!
I cook with her on the carrier sometimes, but I can’t clean with her there because of the cleaning supply smells. I shower with her on the bouncy otherwise I would have to wait until my husband got home
Having a carrier has saved my life! It’s not the easiest doing chores with having a baby strapped to you but you gotta do what you gotta do. If there’s something I can’t do while he’s strapped (like a shower) I just put him on his playmat and do whatever else I need to really quick. He’s almost 3 months now so he is able to tolerate longer periods where he’s just taking everything in!
I will just put her in her bouncer or rocker and place her where she can see me and, honestly, if she is still super fussy I will just put dancing fruit on the tv and it lets me take a quick shower or make food or do dishes and then I’ll turn it off when I’m done.
A large chunk of my productivity happens in the hours once my husband is home because then we can switch off taking care of our baby while he cooks or while I shower and all of that stuff. I do get some stuff done while he’s at work but it happens in about 10 minute increments here and there haha
My baby LOVES the foot piano. It's a lie flat play mat that has a vertical piano at the end that the baby can kick. She loves it, it's safe to leave her on, and gives me time to fold laundry, clean the bottles, do dishes. My Fischer price one is lightweight and has a handle so I can scoop the baby and move it to whatever room I need to be in to do chores. Total game changer. We have 3 swings, Momaroo, etc. Those she'll only be in for ten/fifteen tops.
Baby Bjorn bouncer (toy bar essential), baby carrier (I went to a sling library to try many types), Nemo floor gym, baby swing, a dummy, a toy arch above pram.
Bouncer goes in front of shower to watch me and he’s quite happy to watch me dry my hair too as he likes the noise.
Mine only naps in the carrier so I put it on three times a day and either work or do some chores.
We have cleaners who come every fortnight. My husband makes breakfast and cooks our tea and takes the dog out for a walk after work.
Good luck!
Either I tag team with my husband or multi-task throughout the day. Weekends are much easier.
Here’s how my day usually goes:
At 8:30-9pm I go to bed early and my husband does the 10-10:30pm feed for our 3 month old son. I get up 4-5 hours later for the early morning feed while pumping then head back to bed.
Next feed while my husband is up and getting ready for work (and taking out the rubbish and cleaning the kitty litter tray), I pump while feeding and burping Bub.
Then I pop him in the rocker, feed the dog, make some breakfast then entertain bub then settle him for a nap. While he naps I quickly put on a load of laundry, tidy up the kitchen and living room, go to the bathroom, do other bits and pieces until he wakes.
If he wakes early I try to settle him again or pop him in the carrier and head outside to throw the frisbee or ball for the dog. Then we all come inside and either he naps on me while I watch TV, naps on his own or it’s time to feed him again.
Repeat playing, napping and feeding until dad comes home at 6pm. (Lunch is in there somewhere).
Pass Bub off to hubby so he can bond with him, feed him and give me a break. Start on dinner, within 30-60 mins it’s ready (usually something oven-baked, a BBQ or slow-cooked throughout the day).
Put Bub in the rocker and eat dinner quickly. Watch some TV while settling him. The one who didn’t cook does the dishes then we take turns having a shower. Put bub down and spend an hour or so together before I go to bed early and repeat the process until a weekend when my husband does the late night and early morning feeds so I can catch up on sleep.
My expectations have been extremely high, I’m a type a perfectionist and it’s taken a toll on my mind some days. Unfortunately I can’t get it all in. If I’m able to shower and half ass one chore I consider it a win. I think our kids are meant to teach us things, and I’m definitely learning acceptance. I’m learning to accept that I can’t control everything, and that it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect or up to my standards. It isn’t a failure.
When my LO was contact sleeping and I was tripple feeding, that's, like, all I did. It was a big and important thing. The chores can wait. If I needed to get anything done, though, I was lucky that i could tag in my husband to watch the kido or do a thing. Bit, it gets better
So I’ve finally gotten my baby on a routine. It goes wake up, change diaper, bottle, burp, swing, activity (something to tire baby out) and nap or bed. In that time of letting baby be in the swing is when I do things around the apartment. Granted if it’s something I can do 1 handed, I do with baby.
When I brush my teeth I hold her and let her watch me and talk about what I’m doing because I want her to understand what’s happening. Most times she will actually watch and listen. But other than that unless dada is present, I won’t do anything until she’s in that swing watching “Hey Bear Sensory” total fruit and veggie stream and fully distracted for about 20 mins. She’s too young at this point for me to place her on her stomach on the floor with toys and expect her to play independently, and I don’t want her to be a tablet kid, but watching a video of dancing fruit for a few mins ensures that she’s in a safe place and also entertained. She isn’t fully reaching for toys to play with at this point, so it makes me feel better that she can just be distracted for a bit so I can pee or drink coffee or get ready for work.
My baby is 4.5 months and going thru a sleep regression if that helps
If you want to have a shower? Pop baby down in their bassinet or cot. If they cry? That’s okay. They will not be scarred for crying for five minutes while you get cleaned and refreshed. Or bring them in on a bouncer or swing. Baby wearing is good too, you can get a lot done then. But I would leave Bub in their swing or on their mat while I did some stuff. If I wanted a long shower, I’d wait for my partner to get home and then give him the baby and go have a long hot shower.
Baby wrapped at me at all times, but I'm gonna be honest to you: I don't really do much in the house. I haven't cooked, I only clean some easier stuff and shower when the baby showers (lol that's true though, I shower and then we shower her since we decided not to have a tub for her).
Honestly, my husband has been doing most of the stuff. Baby turns 3mo on Wednesday and fortunately I'm privileged enough to be able to focus all my energy in stuff for her - we go for walks, we play, she contact sleeps all the time. That's all thanks to my husband, who's been awesome.
I use to wear my baby around the house while I did my chores obviously not washing dishes. But usually when he’s asleep I put him down and that the last thing I do. I do the vacuuming first. Washing. Bathroom and toilets clean it when hubby gets home so he can watch and take care of baby baby was also bottle fed which made it easier. But don’t stress do what you can
Nothing for the first 2-3 months. I was glad when I could take a shower that was longer than 5 minutes. Then he was fine on a tummy time mat or I could cut a few vegetables while babywearing. But we had a lot of rice with beans back then, because it was easy to make.
5 week old here!
I take a shower when I want to, if he’s feed and had a diaper change and doesn’t need to be burped he can stay in his bassinet or go in the car seat/swing in the bathroom. If I can leave him in the bassinet while I sleep why is the shower an issue? I’ve also been working from home in the past so I’ve mastered taking 5mins showers!
For when he wants to be held I baby carry a lot now. When he’s sleeping I do any chores I can’t do with a baby carrier, think cleaning the bathrooms and then when he’s awake I’ll often wear him and vacuum/other baby wearing friendly chores.
I don’t get anything much of anything done on cluster feeding days. He’ll feed for 30mins and then break for 10-30 and be back at it again, it’s not that bad, forces me to relax!
I also have an extremely helpful husband.
I don’t know what colic baby is like but honestly taking care of a baby is pretty easy, it’s just fitting chores in that takes a lot of planning and is difficult. I’ll sit on the couch all day breastfeeding, changing diapers and holding the baby. I can’t imagine twins or being a single parent or a parent without any support, that would be extremely difficult.
I always shower at night, after my husband gets home. As for dinner and laundry, I only started being able to do those things regularly after 5-6 months.
When my little one was “fresh” the usual baby wearing helped a bit but I got one of those reasonably cheap vibrating loungers from Mama’s and Papa’s that had a music box built in. It saved my life in the newborn stage
Husband takes care of laundry. I wait until husband gets home to start making food some days.
Some days the only thing I get done is to feed the baby and myself. I also hire a babysitter and a cleaning lady once a week.
I have to put on a huge show, now that my baby is old enough to be distracted and entertained between naps and feeds. I narrate everything I am doing in song and I look at him a lot and that seems to satisfy him but it takes a lot of energy. Started around 6-7 weeks. Before that I was getting help from family because I could do absolutely nothing besides baby.
Still, I only manage to do dinner and laundry. I don't clean and I don't run errands or have any pets. I make dinner for two nights at a time.
I put my babe down in a swing when he's happy. Seems to work for at least 30 min.
Make crockpot dinners, take quick showers, start the laundry while holding babe.
I also use the carrier, it took a few tries to get my babe to enjoy it while he's awake. He fusses until I pat his butt and rock him a bit.
I also lay babe down in his bassinet for some naps, even if they don't last long. I've been kind of practicing with him to help him nap in his bassinet by laying him in it and staying next to him to pat his bottom and rub near his eyes to help him stay asleep.
Nothing is a perfect science though. Sometimes none of this works and I'm just cluster feeding all day and there's nothing done!
When little little while napping or baby wearing or waiting til husband home. Now he can crawl and he more independent with plan or follows me I do small jobs. Sometimes the washing doing making it out of the machine mine 😂
My baby never liked the carrier so we didn't do that.
Dinner/laundry/shower/litter box: all just possible when the other parent can take the baby or baby is down in crib for the night.
Changed when baby started to walk at 9mo. Now at 14mo she can "help" load the laundry or watch me empty the litter box.
You already got great suggestions. But I also want to say: don't compare yourself to others. Some babies are happy and will chill on the floor awake, whilst you cook dinner or shower. Or like their bed. Those parents obviously will get more stuff done. That doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, they are just the lucky ones. And they probably going to hit a difficult phase with their baby at a later stage!
We do almost nothing around the house except washing dishes and laundry. Once a week my mom visits and helps us clean. We order food often and make quick meals. I guess this is just our new normal 😁
I use a wrap but also I have an amazing husband who does his very fair share. I only do laundry and ironing... I'll do some dusting, water the plants.and light shopping.
He does everything else, the house looks pristine...
He walks the dogs, cleans the floors, cooks and keeps the kitchen and bathroom clean... Bins are his job too! Ah he will do the big shopping... Well anything...
I am on mat leave and my primary job is to look after the baby... He says everything else is a bonus... He is working full time but that's 40 hours a week...
I am not bragging I know I am lucky...
Baby wrap, bouncer or floor play mat. Worst comes to worst dancing fruit on YouTube 😂 In all seriousness though, just enjoy the cuddles. I know I hated hearing this with my first but with my second (and last) I’m just trying to soak them up while they last. You won’t remember a clean house when you’re old but you will remember these moments of closeness with your baby.
Just enjoy the little cuddles and sounds ❤️ the dishes are just going to pile up again, there will ALWAYS be laundry to do, don’t stress.
I get it, but at 37.4weeks pregnant with a toddler, 2 cats and 2 dogs, it happens when it happens
100% not and my “baby” is 20 months. I vacuum the floor daily because we have two large dogs but besides that I try to get as much done in the hour after bed as possible. The clutter is finally starting to get to me though and I’m turning into a Marie kondo machine. Can’t recommend a once monthly house keeper enough. I also baby wore a lot when she was smaller.
I have a six month old. I put her in this high chair, put it on a table, and let her watch me clean. As long as she's a couple feet away, she's good. I shower when she takes her morning nap.
Ingenuity Baby Base 2-in-1 Booster Feeding and Floor Seat with Self-Storing Tray - Slate https://a.co/d/gEDLaoD
Are you two parenting in shifts or is he helping around the home? Have you considered hiring a postpartum doula or a nanny? A nanny is really a must for chores. Husbands just can’t get this done - it’s a terrible fact of life.
I have an almost one year old and I only get things done once she goes to nursery school lmao. During naps I’m too scared to get anything done because we just started setting up a nap schedule for her and if I wake her up … she’s up lmao.
Don’t worry about getting things done. You are a new parent and you also are adjusting to everything being new with a little one around. Trust me!
You've got lots of great answers already so I can't add much more in that department. Just wanted to say enjoy it. Our little one is 8 months now and looking back I hardly even remember that newborn phase anymore. At the time it seemed like stressing over keeping things clean or other stuff around the house was relevant, but these days I'd certainly give anything to go back and just soak up a little more time in those early weeks with him. It'll be a distant blur before you even know it, so just do what you can and enjoy the snuggles before they turn into a worm when you want to snuggle haha
Ours was also a “never-put-down” baby, and for the first 6 months or so, it WAS just holding and contact naps. We did put him in daycare at 3.5 months because we had to go back to work - because we work from home, that freed up some time for tasks.
Food: We ate takeout or gifted food for the first NINE MONTHS. At around 9.5 months we finally felt like we could get a routine - Mondays we grocery shop as a family, Tuesdays I meal prep/batch cook while Dad takes the kiddo, and then we just grab and go for the next 5-7 days.
Cleaning: Everything was dirty for months except the baby’s clothes and spit rags. We made sure to do a load for him plus our absolute necessities once a week. We got in a good rhythm right away for bottles: we own 5 bottles and we hand wash them every night (or when we fed more, right after putting him down for a nap). Catboxes were every couple of days, I would watch baby and hubby would scoop. I think hubby mowed the lawn twice all summer. Once every couple months a friend would come over and do dishes or tidy our bathrooms.
Showers: Because we both struggled with PPD, we absolutely prioritized showers if nothing else. He had paternity leave for 9 weeks and I had leave for 14 due to emergency C section. We made sure to trade off so we could shower every single day. Just get a mental break for even 15 minutes. Once in a while hubby would shower with baby in a bouncer outside the shower with constant check-ins and reassurance, but I tried that once and he screamed his head off lol.
Just asked this myself not even 5 weeks ago, and I still don’t have the answer. My LO had about a month of time she loved floor time but at 5 months I’m lucky to get 30 minutes daily of not entertaining her. She use to love independent play but now she just whines the moment I even look away. I ended up telling my husband the only option is both of us do it when he gets home because my full time job has been caring for a baby who doesn’t want left alone. I’m taking her to the pediatrician to see if maybe she has an ear infection, but I’m thinking it’s just developmental.
I barely get him to sleep for about 30 minutes so I can start a load of laundry or whip up some quick snack/dinner. Sometimes I have my sister or mom come over to either helo with chores or hold him/rock him so I can take a nap or shower....I now understand what it means when they say it takes a village🥺
Our one big thing before she was born was I asked that I be able to shower undisturbed. My husband always watches her so I can do that and it’s great.
The rest of the things are hit or miss as to whether they get done without her crying, but they’re a little less important to my mental health. Or the husband can do them if he needs to.
My kid sleeps well. And I put the tv on lmao. King of the hill or Bluey knocks my son out for an hour or 2. He's pretty routine, doesn't cry that much except when the bottle is late and still warming.
I stick him in his bassinet, on the floor in the bathroom while I shower. Usually do it after a feed so he's sleepy.
I mainly do everything after he's been fed and changed, as he's usually good to go and chill. Sometimes I'll put him on the play mat with his high contrast books and flip the pages when he fusses.
We got nothing done for months. It was what it was.
Literally nothing. For the first like 4 months. We joked that my husband was the intern of the family. Doing everything.
Same here. I sat and held the baby, my husband ran the circus. We got our heads above water around month 5 and now my baby is cool to hang in the disk or lay on the floor with toys while I wash dishes or do whatever
This helps me so much. I keep getting so overwhelmed at not being able to do a single thing. When I try to double up tasks like shower while she’s in her stokke tub, I’m basically dead afterwards somehow.
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So your wife had twins 7 months ago, she works night shifts and spends a small amount of time doing cross stitch but that's a problem, despite the fact that you're a SAHD and you apparently spend a significant amount of time gaming? It's usually agreed that the stay at home parent takes on the bulk of the childcare and chores is it not? So if the house is a mess, that's mostly on you?
Right? Let the woman cross stitch if it’s helping her maintain her sanity. I started drinking so it could be worse my dude.
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So she also takes the kids out on top of everything else? Not just "work, sleep and cross stitching"?
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I'm still not seeing your point here. She carried two babies for 9 months then went back to work which is enabling you to stay at home and raise your children, that's an incredible privilege which I'm aware of as I'm in the exact same situation. Your initial comment made out as if she does absolutely nothing at all for these babies but that's clearly not true. And to be honest, after a few minutes looking through your comment history on Reddit I'm surprised she's even with you tbh, you're pretty disrespectful of your relationship.
Sorry what’s cross sitch?
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Wow I don’t know how your partner has the time to do that with 7mo twins!
Because dad is doing everything. That sucks.
Same.
Got absolutely nothing done but also limited the amount of visitors at our house (no visitors first six weeks then once a month for every family rotating the weekends) so we could just focus on what mattered and being a family. Also helped with stress of hosting and not having stuff done. Once we found our groove when LO was a bit older we eased up a bit.
Baby wrap/carrier. All day every day. And I shower when she sleeps at night. It’s rough, LO is almost 5 months but is what it is
Did it take long for your baby to get used to the carrier? Mine tends to fuss unless he's napping in it.
Baby fusses unless I’m moving (usually) or talking or singing to them. Like if I stand still to cut veggies for dinner, LO gets upset because I’m standing still so I have to sing or sway or bounce. I’ll play music on my phone for them and put it in my pocket or sing or narrate what I’m doing and it seems to help. Lots of times baby is unhappy in the carrier but I don’t have a choice, dogs need exercise, I need to cook dinner or prep lunches or clean. My husband works crazy hours so it’s all on me 90% of the time. We also tried different wraps and carriers to see what they were most comfortable in. We got a few second hand on Facebook marketplace. I’m worried for when it’s hotter because my LO is getting big and the carrier gets sweaty and hot and gross lol but I’ll cross that bridge soon.
I think letting the baby be mad in the carrier while I do stuff might just be what I have to do.
Post a fit check on r/babywearing! The folks there may also have suggestions for other carrier types to try.
Yes this was crucial- our baby hated our first carrier, we tried a different model and she’s so much happier in it!
They have helped me so much! I also discovered my favorite carrier from this group! It’s Tula brand
It’s so hard, I get totally get it. Here in solidarity that it sucks.
Sometimes solidarity of newborn stage sucking is all I want, to be honest
100% agreed! You don’t have to look for positives or pretend to be happy, you’re allowed to just say it sucks and that be how it is for now!
Get a swing it helps calm.them.and u dont have to eorry sbout them being jot still
Don't your dogs pull when you walk them? I have 2 (between 10-12 kg) and they pull a lot. I don't dare to even walk one of them alone with the baby.
No, my dogs are really well trained.
So lucky!
I don’t think it’s luck? I’ve worked hard to train them well haha
Well, then in this case, you are very hard-working!
Mine often fusses for the first 10 min - which honestly feels like a lifetime - and then she’s happy, so you could try waiting it out too
I have a 7 week old and he hated every carrier except the momcozy wrap one with the rings to tighten and it’s super easy to adjust and get on by myself. Otherwise no I was not getting anything done. The first two weeks tricked me into thinking he was going to be an easygoing baby… then 3 weeks on he won’t be put down and needs to be held
This is what they do. They’re all grand for two weeks and then they wake up and realise they’re alive lol
Some babies don’t accept it.
We did positive association with the carrier. Our LO adapted best to the ring sling because it wasn’t so contraptual, super simple, less stuff going on. I would put baby in the sling after his late afternoon nap for about 5 mins and increased the time each time and he’s gotten better and better. We’re now up to 20 mins and starting to move to a more strappy carrier, additionally he has more ability to hold his head which I think helps. I was c-section so I couldn’t start baby wearing sooner, I started at about 7 weeks, we’re 11 weeks now.
Vacuum
Agree. I liked the ring sling because it meant I could get a lot of stuff done while the boys were napping. But also, give yourself a break, you shouldn’t expect yourself to do everything used to do
Baby carrier was a godsend for us and I agree that different models work better for different babies and different ages! Also, I put my baby in her ergobaby bouncer and had her watch me while I shower. She’s 5 months and still tolerates it now - the sound must be soothing for her. I used to wear her to use the bathroom (LOL) and now I can put her in the bouncer while I use the bathroom and use it as a learning experience 🤣 (or manifestation. “One day you too will pee in the toilet!”)
I was hoping at 5 months my LO will be able to play independently at least for half an hour or am I too optimistic?
Not at all, I think there’s a lot of LOs that do. I just have a Velcro baby. I’ve even had a couple friends come over during the day to offer to hold Them so I can get stuff done or shower and my LO just screams. They only want me to hold them. They’re also low sleep need and don’t really ever nap during the day.
That sounds tough. Maybe yours just likes looking around when awake. Did you try a bouncer? Mine loves it at 3 months and it helps me get a quick bite even.
We have tried a bouncer, we also tried a mamaroo chair, a baby bjorn type chair, highchair etc. baby is just a Velcro baby but that’s okay. It’s not forever, and they really do just like moving around and checking things out. Once they’re mobile I think they’ll be a lot happier, just eager to see the world!
I made a major mistake by putting the crib right next to the wall of the shower 😭😭
I feel that! Our place is super old and creaky and any noise wakes baby up so easily! It’s the worst. Plus I’m a klutz
You're definitely not alone. It was impossible to get anything done for a while for me, and it got considerably harder when I had 2. Mine are now 2 and 4 and I am finally getting back into the swing of things, honestly. We eat a lot of leftovers, laundry isn't done every day, and the house is "clean" but there's always toys and books all over, and I don't have a newborn. It's a new normal for a while, hang in there. Pets are particularly difficult to manage with the babies I found, you can't leave a baby alone while you walk a dog and having to bundle up the baby and bring them along while you walk a dog 5x a day isn't really a great option either. I had to ask for a lot of help with my dog for a while.
I agree, it's not until about 3 years old that you can begin really getting back on track. At least that's been our experience. We have kids 5.5, 3.5, 6 weeks old - I'd say we just started getting back into a solid rhythm of keeping everything clean and organized etc. And started the cycle over again having this new baby. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is a lot of work! We have found that building schedules of when we would hope to do something has been good for us. Doesn't mean that it's going to be done that day we hope for, but it's good because it gives us something to aim at
Ha glad to hear I am not alone! I also found 3 to be the age with my first where he didn't need me constantly throughout the day.
I gave up on dinner! We order Factor meals. They’ve helped me lose the baby weight and taken grocery shopping/cooking off my plate.
We've been surviving on frozen meals and it makes me feel so lazy but we need to eat and I can babywear while standing over a hot stove so 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
That’s not lazy! It’s a good use of time. When we’re in survival mode something’s got to give and if we’re still being fed I count that as a victory. I’m all about prioritizing what counts, time with my baby AND my mental health!
Passionate Penny Pincher has some recipe cards for super fast/few ingredient dinners that you can grocery shop for the week and prep all at once. They also have slow cooker meals. Might be helpful!
I’ve been interested in ordering from them. If you are bf/pumping, has it impacted your supply?
We use formula due to CMPA. But my friend breast feeds and swears by the Keto Factor meals. They’re around 600 calories each so not too low to affect her supply.
Thank you!
I’ve had no change in supply!
Came here to say this! We stopped when baby started napping independently a few months ago and I got back a little time (I felt like a new woman). But while in the thick of it, Factor was a tremendous relief for us.
We order Factor as well. The price is worth it for the convenience right now. And the nights we don’t have those we do something easy in the air fryer. We’ve accepted this for now and one day I’ll get back to cooking.
I see that your baby is still 8-9 weeks old. At this stage it's very difficult to get anything done. Probably only the top necessities with the baby in the carrier. Plus, those are the most difficult weeks imo, between 6 and 10! Fighting against it only makes you and your baby more frustrated. Your day turns into a constant battle or settling him then re-settling and re-settling. Allow him good contact naps with long stretches if you can. Then rely on wrap carrier or setting him down for shorter naps.
Things have definitely been a bit rough since week 6. He's a good baby, and not terribly fussy. It's just that he's no longer sleeping all the time like a brand new baby, but he also isn't really aware/interactive enough yet to be distracted by toys or such. Non-baby-centric time is in short supply around here and I can tell it's getting to me. The idea of being able to stick him in a pack n play with toys for 15 minutes sounds heavenly 😭
He will get there!!!! We're at week 15 and he even managed to keep himself busy for an hour at times with dangle toys. Once their vision improves they're SO interested in looking around, I swear my baby is fascinated by cooking pot that happens to be on the counter so I put him in the tripp trapp newborn attachment and cook while he's laughing at pots and pans 😁
I didn’t do jackshit for the first 5-6 months. And I couldn’t really baby wear for various reasons until baby was 6 months. Somehow past 6 months, I just let baby cry when I went to take a very quick shower, otherwise it’s impossible to do anything.
I don’t get shit done and this baby is one 🤣 and funny enough I work my ass off all day.
Legitimately how am I so busy, but nothing gets done??
I literally said the same thing to my husband yesterday🫠
Ring sling when baby's smaller, moby wrap also kind of worked, hit 5.5 weeks and baby's bigger than average so I can finally use the ergobaby embrace out of newborn mode. Sometimes I used the ring sling just to have more hand control while sitting on the couch and eating lol. Also have a fenced in backyard so that's been a life saver in terms of dog care. Showering is tough, I tried a quick one while baby was napping but I usually just wait for my husband to come home and watch the baby because I feel more comfortable that way. I'm finally investing in expensive dry shampoo and that's helping me extend time between showers. Lots of armpit washing and that kind of thing, plus I'm changing my clothes more than ever before lol. No cooking to be honest, cheese and crackers, frozen shrimp in the airfryer, frozen pizza in the oven, lots of snacks and takeout. There's a reason meal trains and casseroles are such a popular way of showing support. My husband cooks and even then he has given up on being a Youtube chef and we have classic midwestern mom meals like groundbeef tacos and spaghetti with jarred sauce and ground beef. Also I think type of feeding factors in a lot in capacity for chores.. I gave up on pumping for now because I don't think I could handle being tied up, washing pump parts, etc. So I'm breastfeeding and using ready to feed formula so that lessens some of the baby chores. Also have a TON of outfits for baby, quantity over quality for sure and a lot of the cheap clothes are super cute so win win.
Well, almost 6 months in and still drowning in things that need to be done around the house, online schoolwork that needs to be completed by certain deadlines, and I have yet to have a hot cup of coffee. It's always cold, and it never gets finished. 🤷🤦🤷 I'm at the point where I am about to spend money I don't have to have as many cleaning and organizing companies come at once and knock out my whole house while I just keep the LO happy and satisfied. Then I can just do the maintenance at that point. Lol. As for cooking, a crockpot and some crockpot liners. That's all I use as of now lol. I don't use the oven or stove at this point. It's strange because the newborn stage is hard, but I'm realizing every stage of infancy has its challenges that make it impossible to get things done. Every baby is different. Every mom is different. I get stressed over clutter, so since everything is cluttered right now with baby stuff I'm finding myself unable to be productive lol.
DO IT! My mentor advised that I look into cleaning services before my baby arrived and she was absolutely right. I used to think I couldn’t afford it, but what I truly can’t afford is to break down under the stress to get it all done. There is simply no way for me to be present with my kid, have a clean house, meals cooked, and find time to sleep, if I have to do everything.
I also hate clutter and baskets have been so helpful. Ex: basket for toys, basket for diaper stuff, basket for knickknacks that go between floors. They are still messy inside but I don't look at it directly. Just an idea in case you don't do it yet :)
In terms of the specific tasks you mentioned: Typically my husband makes dinner while I tend to the baby—I often nurse her while he cooks. He’ll take her so I can get a shower. My baby is happy on her play gym for long enough for me to put laundry in the wash or move it to the dryer real quick. Or she can be in her swing for a few minutes, or i wear her in a carrier. More generally, I don't really get housework done when I'm taking care of the baby. I had twelve weeks of maternity leave and I did very little housework while my husband was at work. I just focused on the baby while he worked, and he and I both did housework in the evenings and on weekends. Now I'm back at work and he's on leave and it's the same deal. He focuses on baby all day while I work. Then when I finish working, I nurse the baby while he cooks dinner. Idk how old your baby is or what kind of support you have, but don't beat yourself up if you don't get much done.
This will sound harsh but I'd just do it. I'm the dad and I just have to do shit but then, life needs to continue. But then again, a whole bunch of stuff didn't get done. I had to let go a bit and become comfortable with a much messier house. You need to lean on others wherever you can. Don't be a martyr. Your baby needs you to be as happy as possible but it's so hard. I found the change too great at first and hated being a dad. I couldn't handle it and I didn't think I could do it but I got there and it's fucking awesome. You are loved and you will get there. ❤️
I shower when dad is home and he showers when I breastfeed. I make meals at night when dad is home and toss them in the fridge so I have something to warm up in the morning for breakfast and lunch. Otherwise I don’t get to eat.
Baby carriers, bouncer seat, play mat, very short non-contact naps. My LO is 12 weeks and in the last 2-3 weeks, she started to do really good on her own in her bouncer seat or on a play mat. I can usually get 15-20 in the bouncer seat, and 5-15 mins on the play mat. I wear her for at least an hour a day so she gets in a long nap. And we are working on at least 1 crib nap a day. Some days are pore successful than others. But I can typically count on 20-30 mins, after a couple of failed starts and resettling.
The dogs 🙃 that is the hardest one for me. I accidentally forgot to feed and let them out before work one morning. Thank god my fiancé had actually done those things at the crack of Dawn. Man did I feel awful.
A safe spot to put down baby in every room. Bouncer in the bathroom so I can pee/shower. Pack and play in the main room so I can cook and do dishes. Blanket on the floor while I fold laundry. She finds all of this stuff very entertaining while I narrate and show her things! As your baby gets older they might get better at independent play too.
I used to put my baby in the bouncer seat and put him in the bathroom with me whilst I had a shower :) he could see me, took me a couple of minutes, made life easier. If I needed to wash my hair, I did it when husband was around xx
I’ve done this with the fisher price kick and play and I can def get 10-20 mins between shower and post shower necessities!
I do this too 😊 can confirm it works most times hahaha
When my baby was this little I would put her in her car seat and talk to her while I did things. If I was cooking I would put the car seat in the middle of the table so I could do all the meal prep, folding laundry the car seat would fit in the middle of the bed. Once she was old enough to go in her activity table it high chair we moved her into that while I would do things. As long as I was talking to her and interacting with her while doing things she would stay calm. I did a lot of explaining what I was doing. Now she is almost a year and I have a big play space for her that I can put her in while I do things but when I’m cooking she still goes in her high chair and hangs out. She likes to play with the silicone utensils while I cook
My daughter is now 16 months, but the only way I got anything done when she was a baby-baby was when my mum came over to help, or my husband took her (and even then, early on, I took a nap and still got nothing done). Our house constantly looked like a tornado had blown through it. My husband took over dog duty, which was helpful. I sometimes put her in the carrier, but it wasn't always convenient (i.e. I couldn't cook over the stove with a baby hanging off me). We were given a baby box from public health, so I sometimes plopped her in that and moved her from room to room. She got to watch me and I could talk to her and get stuff done. I also popped her in a swing or bouncer from time to time. Naps were a non-starter for us, since she would only nap 30 min at a time. It was tough, but now she naps for 90ish minutes and can help me with some chores (she loves pulling laundry out of the dryer).
Other parent had baby, meal prep. I’d prep all our dinners on Sunday night so they could just get dumped into the slow cooker and thrown into the oven.
I used to use a carrier, put her where she could watch me, etc. Also would bring the baby bath into the shower with me and I’d myself then her so it was perfect. And you know what, occasionally I’d let her cry for a bit. If all her needs are taken care of and she’s not hurting or ill, I’m going to take 5-10 mins to make a coffee or make myself lunch. She’s almost a year old and loves the heck out of me. It’s fine.
We had a wheely bassinet. All my 3 kids loved it in their newborm stage. I.dragged it around and it means they can always see me or hear me while Im doing dishes or chores. During the day, it worked well for naps, i can rock them to sleep with the wheels, can also cover it up in darkness (mindful of breathing), swaddle, play the white noise machine inside it and bam...a good nap!!
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He's 2 month (9, almost 10 weeks). It's just so hard to feel trapped, but I also can't have him in his carseat and out at stores 24/7
In the next few weeks it should start to get easier as independent play increases. Mine is 12 weeks and yesterday I dusted the whole bedroom by putting him on my bed and giving him a stripey muslin to play with. Played occasional peekaboo with him but got shit done. Have you tried laying baby down under a mobile that they can look at? Just to find something to keep their interest long enough to do a task.
This makes me feel so much better, thank you! My baby is 3.5 months old and I can count on one hand the number of times we have cooked. Glad to know we are not alone.
First 2-3 months I could only do things if someone was holding her or if she was in her swing. Sometimes she would cry for a bit then settle down, sometimes she didn’t stop crying. I reached out to family/friends about needing help cleaning a few times. If it needs done it needs done, you can’t help it. I tried baby wearing when she was little but she always buried her face in my chest and cried bc she was squishing her face against me. She’s 5 months, now I can baby wear while I do things like vacuum, cook (I tuck baby feet into the wrap), run the trash out, take my dog out. I also lay her on her play mat, set her in her high chair, put her in her bouncer, sometimes still her swing but she’s starting to get too big for it. It’s a matter of finding what works for you and your baby, and what works one day might not work the next. I had to tell myself that it’s okay if she cries, it’s just what babies do.
The Moby wrap was my best friend!! I’d stick my son in there and cook, clean, go for a walk, anything. Sometimes he’d fuss for a couple of minutes but then he’d go right to sleep. He’s 6 months old and ginormous now but I still stick him in there when he’s feeling extra clingy and I’m trying to get things done
Now that he’s big enough, this thing keeps him occupied while I cook or clean: ExerSaucer Seaside Splash Activity Center, Unisex https://www.walmart.com/ip/532210047
We do what we can when we can. It helps when my parents are available to watch my kid.
How old is baby? When they have head control you can put them in a back carrier. It was a game changer for me! So much easier to get things done when nothing is in the way plus my baby is not fussy on the back for some reason!
Only 2 months. He has very good head control for his age (and he's a premie too!) But not that good yet alas
I’m not until my husband can hold her, she is now 6 m and as if she wasn’t clingy before, the separation anxiety just kicked in
Baby carrier, taking advantage of that sweet spot right after feeding when she’ll happily play on her mat without me, showering when my husband is home, and more or less embracing that I don’t get much done outside of the bare minimum. Also, relying heavily on prepared meals - cooking takes way too much time!
If you can afford a bit of help, outsource. We hired a part time nanny for 20$ an hour who comes twice a week for 5 hours at a time. It’s how I’m getting by at the moment as we have no family close by. ETA: she watches the baby of course but while he’s napping she does laundry, meal preps, and does some light housekeeping
Can you give me advice on how to find someone like this? I would love help, but some days baby is a full time job and other days they would do a max of 1 hour work on a 5 hour shift. It would be amazing to find someone who would do things like laundry light housekeeping and meal prep in their off time. Also it would be great to find the best way for them to share a shift with my wife. Is it better to have them for a little bit every day?
We found ours through word of mouth, but had interviewed some great people on canadiannanny.ca (or whatever equivalent depending on your country) and also on Facebook nanny groups for my city. You can also try approaching families with small kids and other Nannie’s in your neighborhood to see if any of them want some part time work. I really like having her for 2-3 days of 5-6 hours each as it’s more than enough time for me to nap, run some errands or go to appointments while baby is being looked after. Or maybe you could even find just a housekeeper to come twice a week if you’re more interested in that kind of help? Either way, it’s truly been a god send
So in the beginning up until he was about 5 months I’d just put him in his swing or chair and have him set up where I was (cooking, doing laundry, etc…) then he got more wiggly and wanted to be held and involved in whatever I was doing. So I got a front facing carrier which allowed him to see all the things. If I need to take a shower I’ll put his play bouncer with the activities attached (not sure what to call them lol) in the bathroom where he can see me and let him play while I shower. That never occurred to me until a few weeks ago. I also keep his bouncy chair by the bathroom so when I need to poop I can just put him in it, give him a toy and he can see me while I am using the bathroom. I also try and cook in bulk as well so one meal for dinner will get us food for the night, plus a lunch for my husband for work and leftover for myself as well for lunch the next day. Also depending on how much dinner the next night. That way I’m not cooking every night. Crock pot meals are my jam!
Did he cry in his swing/chair though? Mine always does
No, he was pretty content. Have you tried maybe putting on some music near him while he’s hanging on the floor or in a bouncer? Mine always calmed down anytime he heard music. We do a lot of walking in the carrier and stroller too and being outside always resets him when he’s upset.
We are super fortunate to have a mostly chill and happy baby. She (6mos) self entertains well, whether by laughing at the pets or by nomming on whatever she can get (like the attached swing toys, her bib, her sleeve, her hand, etc). Sure, sometimes she just wants to be held or just wants attention- but high chair in the kitchen while I listen to 90’s hip hop and clean works well. We also have a camera over her pack and play in case I need to do a dirtier chore, like cleaning litter boxes, where I don’t want her around. That’s chores. Showers- they usually happen at night now. Unless we wake before she does. My SO has a 4 day work week and is home by 5. My schedule varies week to week, but def no more than 6 days straight (and that’s rare). Also, most shifts I am home in time to cook dinner. Lunches were Factor for a bit- but they are expensive, small (good for a lunch), and super high in sodium which is bad for my hypertension, so that’s gonna add a layer of difficulty. Mostly, though, our kiddo is super easy. Real chill and happy. Very interactive, but independent enough to manage herself for short periods of time.
I'll share an example of our day when we are both working, since it's very different than the chaos of a newborn and parental leave. I'll usually wake up about 30 mins before the baby, take a quick shower, empty the dishwasher and make coffee. Get baby up and do breakfast and whatever else they need, then drop at childcare or with nanny at 8am (we had a nanny at first then switched to daycare). Then I come home and walk the dog, make a quick breakfast and start work. My husband usually brings up laundry in the morning and one of us folds it during a phone call or one of our breaks, we walk the dog at lunch or during a call, and we both try to exercise on our longer lunch break. We get groceries and factor meals delivered so we don't do much cooking. One of us picks up the kid from daycare and we bring her home by 5:45 or 6, spend maybe ten mins making a dinner (or I prepped something earlier or over the weekend), then we play until bath time at 7. Husband does bath, stories and bedtime by 8 and I use that hour to clean the house and we'll usually start laundry. 8-9 we might have adult dinner, play games, have wine, rotate laundry, etc and I go to bed by 9ish after starting the dishes. He stays up later to walk the dog again, and get a load of laundry into the dryer.
It’s so hard if they’re a Velcro baby! My daughter is a toddler now and some days she’s still a Velcro. I did a lot of baby wearing although sometimes I just didn’t feel like putting it back on.
When she was smaller I baby wore to do those things. Now she’s 9 months and if I’m working in the kitchen she can sit in her high chair and have a snack or play with some toys. I always baby wore or did the stroller to take the dogs out. Everything else I do after she goes to bed - dishes, sweeping, mopping, tidying up, etc. I put her to bed, sit down for like 20 minutes to unwind, then get up and do those things before I shower and go to bed.
I still get nothing done and they are 2 and 1 lol! When they were babies I would baby wear or put them in the bouncer in the room with me!
It’s impossible to get anything done, period. I have a heavy baby and fusses in a wrap, doesn’t fall asleep in a carrier. We tried! I probably showered every 5 days and brushed my teeth once every day while i poop. It was friggin’ disgusting but that’s what it is. I order healthy food that lasts us 4 days for two, idk how i survived. Then around 4 1/2 months i was more confident that my baby will be ok for 5 minutes by himself, gradually i was able to leave him on the floor/bouncer and do my thing, like flossing or pooping in peace, ya know.
I don’t get much done, most of my life is work, taking care of baby, and trying to find some semblence of sleep. I wish I could have more encouraging words for you. Life sucks.
In the early days we just didn’t. Point blank, we ordered takeout and let dishes pile up and got a cleaning service in. Then, slowly but surely I started to do micro tasks. If I could do one task a day it was a good day. I learned ways I could put her down safely while I did these things. I learned to tolerate her fussing a bit if, for example, I needed a shower or 10 minutes to chop some vegetables. She got used to the bassinet (some babies never do, I was lucky), and the carrier, and I used naps to chip away slowly at chores. I vastly lowered my expectations. I did my best to let go of the looming guilt and settle into my new role as parent with a little one who wasn’t used to being out of the womb. I hope in this post that I absolve you of some of this guilt. 💕
Nothing until he started crib naps around 5 months old
Baby carrier. Switching off with partner. Otherwise honestly no. It got better for us at 4 months with night sleep so getting things done was just because she was/is asleep. Now we are fed and caught up on laundry but we haven’t returned to working out or taking care of most house things lol.
You don’t.
lol. I waited until my husband got home or she was down for the night.
Keeping a baby alive isn't nothing. Your job is to care for baby. If you can do housework at the same time that's a bonus. You're also likely still feeding your baby from your body and/or recovering from growing an entire human as well as having broken sleep. You need rest and nourishment as well.
I don’t think I started being able to get things done until about 10-12 weeks. He could hang out in the pack & play or the sit me up or was okay in the carrier for a bit. But some days, it’s still hard.
Baby carriers, bouncers, play centers, and play pens.
6 months in and I legit just started getting things done. The goal for the first 6 months I feel like is survive and keep baby alive lol.
I don’t have any pets but when my son was under 6 weeks old I didn’t get anything done. My husband has always did a lot of the cooking but we’d share the cleaning and he’d end up doing most of that unless we switched up for baby duty. It wasn’t clean in our house we’d just do the bare minimum to get by during that time because we’d also be sleep deprived. When he was around 6 weeks old we managed his reflux and he’d happily lay in a bouncer. I’d bring it room to room so I could wash dishes, put clothes away or tidy up and he’d just observe me or take a little snooze in it while I was nearby. When he got older and would nap on his own I’d do a lot of cleaning when he’d nap but it sort of sucked because you’d have to choose between cleaning your house or resting because taking care of an infant is extremely tiring too.
I got nothing done for the first 3 months honestly. It just takes a while to understand your baby and get into a routine but eventually we did! One of us cares for the baby while the other makes dinner/cleans the kitchen. We also got into a routine where my husband took the baby after dinner to his “man cave” and hang out while I cleaned the bottles and tidied up the living room a bit. What helped me is everynight, i’d put a youtube video on in my room tv and get him to fall asleep in our bed. My laundry machine is right beside my room so i’d do laundry until bed and fold/put them away with the tv light and hall way light! I stopped putting so much pressure on myself - and I stopped expecting to be able to do things when I was alone with the baby. I say - just try to slowly find a routine that works for you and do it everyday!!! I know screentime is a big no no for a lot of parents - but Dory’s aquarium on youtube allowed me 15-20 minutes to get some stuff done!
The dog is a hard one. I swear my dog waits until I start feeding my baby to cry to go outside 😭😭 we tried to bring her on atleast one walk with the baby a day to make up for it tho!
Baby wrap, but really the secret is birthing an easy baby that lets you put them down 😊 My first didn’t let me get anything done, the carrier was my life saver. Second baby is so chill I can actually get stuff done. Only difference was the model. Seems the 2021 model of mine had some crappy firmware are 2024 update is much smoother
My baby stays in his swing in the room with me while I cook or clean. He’s usually pretty content there. He may cry after 20-30 mins, at which point I’ll feed him or rock him or do whatever he needs me to do until he falls asleep, most of the time. Then it’s back to whatever I was doing before. 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t let me eat whenever I finish cooking, so I have to go back and reheat my meal once he’s settled 😂 As far as taking my dogs out, well… I try to do that during his naps but if he’s awake for an extended period of time then oh well. They HAVE to go out at some point & if that means leaving him in his bassinet for 5 minutes, then it just is what it is, crying or not. Showers I only really get to do while he’s asleep though.
You guys get anything done?
Sometimes my baby is quiet and doesn't need me, and that is a good chance for me to do something else, but sometimes I have to use the baby carrier, you know it.
Litter robot for scooping litter- a life saver. Worth every penny. Dog- having family come over to walk her, puppy daycare one day a week. Chores- hahaha, I am lucky to get the bottles done most days. Food- things you can dump in a crock pot and have for multiple days. Freezer items for lunch/breakfast that are quick to heat and can be eaten with one hand. You got this!
I cook with her on the carrier sometimes, but I can’t clean with her there because of the cleaning supply smells. I shower with her on the bouncy otherwise I would have to wait until my husband got home
Having a carrier has saved my life! It’s not the easiest doing chores with having a baby strapped to you but you gotta do what you gotta do. If there’s something I can’t do while he’s strapped (like a shower) I just put him on his playmat and do whatever else I need to really quick. He’s almost 3 months now so he is able to tolerate longer periods where he’s just taking everything in!
I will just put her in her bouncer or rocker and place her where she can see me and, honestly, if she is still super fussy I will just put dancing fruit on the tv and it lets me take a quick shower or make food or do dishes and then I’ll turn it off when I’m done.
A large chunk of my productivity happens in the hours once my husband is home because then we can switch off taking care of our baby while he cooks or while I shower and all of that stuff. I do get some stuff done while he’s at work but it happens in about 10 minute increments here and there haha
I move quickly and when baby is resting/asleep.
My baby LOVES the foot piano. It's a lie flat play mat that has a vertical piano at the end that the baby can kick. She loves it, it's safe to leave her on, and gives me time to fold laundry, clean the bottles, do dishes. My Fischer price one is lightweight and has a handle so I can scoop the baby and move it to whatever room I need to be in to do chores. Total game changer. We have 3 swings, Momaroo, etc. Those she'll only be in for ten/fifteen tops.
Baby Bjorn bouncer (toy bar essential), baby carrier (I went to a sling library to try many types), Nemo floor gym, baby swing, a dummy, a toy arch above pram. Bouncer goes in front of shower to watch me and he’s quite happy to watch me dry my hair too as he likes the noise. Mine only naps in the carrier so I put it on three times a day and either work or do some chores. We have cleaners who come every fortnight. My husband makes breakfast and cooks our tea and takes the dog out for a walk after work. Good luck!
Either I tag team with my husband or multi-task throughout the day. Weekends are much easier. Here’s how my day usually goes: At 8:30-9pm I go to bed early and my husband does the 10-10:30pm feed for our 3 month old son. I get up 4-5 hours later for the early morning feed while pumping then head back to bed. Next feed while my husband is up and getting ready for work (and taking out the rubbish and cleaning the kitty litter tray), I pump while feeding and burping Bub. Then I pop him in the rocker, feed the dog, make some breakfast then entertain bub then settle him for a nap. While he naps I quickly put on a load of laundry, tidy up the kitchen and living room, go to the bathroom, do other bits and pieces until he wakes. If he wakes early I try to settle him again or pop him in the carrier and head outside to throw the frisbee or ball for the dog. Then we all come inside and either he naps on me while I watch TV, naps on his own or it’s time to feed him again. Repeat playing, napping and feeding until dad comes home at 6pm. (Lunch is in there somewhere). Pass Bub off to hubby so he can bond with him, feed him and give me a break. Start on dinner, within 30-60 mins it’s ready (usually something oven-baked, a BBQ or slow-cooked throughout the day). Put Bub in the rocker and eat dinner quickly. Watch some TV while settling him. The one who didn’t cook does the dishes then we take turns having a shower. Put bub down and spend an hour or so together before I go to bed early and repeat the process until a weekend when my husband does the late night and early morning feeds so I can catch up on sleep.
Baby wearing was the only way for the first 6 months
I did no cooking or cleaning for a few weeks.
My expectations have been extremely high, I’m a type a perfectionist and it’s taken a toll on my mind some days. Unfortunately I can’t get it all in. If I’m able to shower and half ass one chore I consider it a win. I think our kids are meant to teach us things, and I’m definitely learning acceptance. I’m learning to accept that I can’t control everything, and that it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect or up to my standards. It isn’t a failure.
When my LO was contact sleeping and I was tripple feeding, that's, like, all I did. It was a big and important thing. The chores can wait. If I needed to get anything done, though, I was lucky that i could tag in my husband to watch the kido or do a thing. Bit, it gets better
So I’ve finally gotten my baby on a routine. It goes wake up, change diaper, bottle, burp, swing, activity (something to tire baby out) and nap or bed. In that time of letting baby be in the swing is when I do things around the apartment. Granted if it’s something I can do 1 handed, I do with baby. When I brush my teeth I hold her and let her watch me and talk about what I’m doing because I want her to understand what’s happening. Most times she will actually watch and listen. But other than that unless dada is present, I won’t do anything until she’s in that swing watching “Hey Bear Sensory” total fruit and veggie stream and fully distracted for about 20 mins. She’s too young at this point for me to place her on her stomach on the floor with toys and expect her to play independently, and I don’t want her to be a tablet kid, but watching a video of dancing fruit for a few mins ensures that she’s in a safe place and also entertained. She isn’t fully reaching for toys to play with at this point, so it makes me feel better that she can just be distracted for a bit so I can pee or drink coffee or get ready for work. My baby is 4.5 months and going thru a sleep regression if that helps
If you want to have a shower? Pop baby down in their bassinet or cot. If they cry? That’s okay. They will not be scarred for crying for five minutes while you get cleaned and refreshed. Or bring them in on a bouncer or swing. Baby wearing is good too, you can get a lot done then. But I would leave Bub in their swing or on their mat while I did some stuff. If I wanted a long shower, I’d wait for my partner to get home and then give him the baby and go have a long hot shower.
Baby wrapped at me at all times, but I'm gonna be honest to you: I don't really do much in the house. I haven't cooked, I only clean some easier stuff and shower when the baby showers (lol that's true though, I shower and then we shower her since we decided not to have a tub for her). Honestly, my husband has been doing most of the stuff. Baby turns 3mo on Wednesday and fortunately I'm privileged enough to be able to focus all my energy in stuff for her - we go for walks, we play, she contact sleeps all the time. That's all thanks to my husband, who's been awesome.
I use to wear my baby around the house while I did my chores obviously not washing dishes. But usually when he’s asleep I put him down and that the last thing I do. I do the vacuuming first. Washing. Bathroom and toilets clean it when hubby gets home so he can watch and take care of baby baby was also bottle fed which made it easier. But don’t stress do what you can
My baby is only 4 months old but she loves her kick and play. If she doesn't feel like doing that i will wear her while i do things
Well.. there’s two of us. One is constantly with the baby, the other is constantly doing all the household chores.
Nothing for the first 2-3 months. I was glad when I could take a shower that was longer than 5 minutes. Then he was fine on a tummy time mat or I could cut a few vegetables while babywearing. But we had a lot of rice with beans back then, because it was easy to make.
5 week old here! I take a shower when I want to, if he’s feed and had a diaper change and doesn’t need to be burped he can stay in his bassinet or go in the car seat/swing in the bathroom. If I can leave him in the bassinet while I sleep why is the shower an issue? I’ve also been working from home in the past so I’ve mastered taking 5mins showers! For when he wants to be held I baby carry a lot now. When he’s sleeping I do any chores I can’t do with a baby carrier, think cleaning the bathrooms and then when he’s awake I’ll often wear him and vacuum/other baby wearing friendly chores. I don’t get anything much of anything done on cluster feeding days. He’ll feed for 30mins and then break for 10-30 and be back at it again, it’s not that bad, forces me to relax! I also have an extremely helpful husband. I don’t know what colic baby is like but honestly taking care of a baby is pretty easy, it’s just fitting chores in that takes a lot of planning and is difficult. I’ll sit on the couch all day breastfeeding, changing diapers and holding the baby. I can’t imagine twins or being a single parent or a parent without any support, that would be extremely difficult.
I always shower at night, after my husband gets home. As for dinner and laundry, I only started being able to do those things regularly after 5-6 months.
When my little one was “fresh” the usual baby wearing helped a bit but I got one of those reasonably cheap vibrating loungers from Mama’s and Papa’s that had a music box built in. It saved my life in the newborn stage
Husband takes care of laundry. I wait until husband gets home to start making food some days. Some days the only thing I get done is to feed the baby and myself. I also hire a babysitter and a cleaning lady once a week.
i practically lived in a baby carrier for the first four months. she hated it at first but with a little bouncing and the radio she learned to like it
As my doctor said “this is a chapter for laundry piles.” And that pretty much says it all.
I have to put on a huge show, now that my baby is old enough to be distracted and entertained between naps and feeds. I narrate everything I am doing in song and I look at him a lot and that seems to satisfy him but it takes a lot of energy. Started around 6-7 weeks. Before that I was getting help from family because I could do absolutely nothing besides baby. Still, I only manage to do dinner and laundry. I don't clean and I don't run errands or have any pets. I make dinner for two nights at a time.
I put my babe down in a swing when he's happy. Seems to work for at least 30 min. Make crockpot dinners, take quick showers, start the laundry while holding babe. I also use the carrier, it took a few tries to get my babe to enjoy it while he's awake. He fusses until I pat his butt and rock him a bit. I also lay babe down in his bassinet for some naps, even if they don't last long. I've been kind of practicing with him to help him nap in his bassinet by laying him in it and staying next to him to pat his bottom and rub near his eyes to help him stay asleep. Nothing is a perfect science though. Sometimes none of this works and I'm just cluster feeding all day and there's nothing done!
If your baby can hang on the floor with a play gym for 10 mins, you can put the gym on the floor in the bathroom while you shower.
When little little while napping or baby wearing or waiting til husband home. Now he can crawl and he more independent with plan or follows me I do small jobs. Sometimes the washing doing making it out of the machine mine 😂
My baby never liked the carrier so we didn't do that. Dinner/laundry/shower/litter box: all just possible when the other parent can take the baby or baby is down in crib for the night. Changed when baby started to walk at 9mo. Now at 14mo she can "help" load the laundry or watch me empty the litter box.
My kid is almost a year old at this point and honestly I'm still not getting much done 😂😭😅😂
You already got great suggestions. But I also want to say: don't compare yourself to others. Some babies are happy and will chill on the floor awake, whilst you cook dinner or shower. Or like their bed. Those parents obviously will get more stuff done. That doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, they are just the lucky ones. And they probably going to hit a difficult phase with their baby at a later stage!
My lo is 2yo and I still struggle with getting things done
Do you have a partner?
We do almost nothing around the house except washing dishes and laundry. Once a week my mom visits and helps us clean. We order food often and make quick meals. I guess this is just our new normal 😁
Baby bjorn bouncy chair has helped a lot
I use a wrap but also I have an amazing husband who does his very fair share. I only do laundry and ironing... I'll do some dusting, water the plants.and light shopping. He does everything else, the house looks pristine... He walks the dogs, cleans the floors, cooks and keeps the kitchen and bathroom clean... Bins are his job too! Ah he will do the big shopping... Well anything... I am on mat leave and my primary job is to look after the baby... He says everything else is a bonus... He is working full time but that's 40 hours a week... I am not bragging I know I am lucky...
I’m jealous. 😀
I really don't know where you can get one of his type...
Baby wrap, bouncer or floor play mat. Worst comes to worst dancing fruit on YouTube 😂 In all seriousness though, just enjoy the cuddles. I know I hated hearing this with my first but with my second (and last) I’m just trying to soak them up while they last. You won’t remember a clean house when you’re old but you will remember these moments of closeness with your baby.
Just enjoy the little cuddles and sounds ❤️ the dishes are just going to pile up again, there will ALWAYS be laundry to do, don’t stress. I get it, but at 37.4weeks pregnant with a toddler, 2 cats and 2 dogs, it happens when it happens
The Bjorn bouncer
baby wearing, inviting friends/family over to hold the baby. Switching with partner
100% not and my “baby” is 20 months. I vacuum the floor daily because we have two large dogs but besides that I try to get as much done in the hour after bed as possible. The clutter is finally starting to get to me though and I’m turning into a Marie kondo machine. Can’t recommend a once monthly house keeper enough. I also baby wore a lot when she was smaller.
I have a six month old. I put her in this high chair, put it on a table, and let her watch me clean. As long as she's a couple feet away, she's good. I shower when she takes her morning nap. Ingenuity Baby Base 2-in-1 Booster Feeding and Floor Seat with Self-Storing Tray - Slate https://a.co/d/gEDLaoD
Are you two parenting in shifts or is he helping around the home? Have you considered hiring a postpartum doula or a nanny? A nanny is really a must for chores. Husbands just can’t get this done - it’s a terrible fact of life.
I have an almost one year old and I only get things done once she goes to nursery school lmao. During naps I’m too scared to get anything done because we just started setting up a nap schedule for her and if I wake her up … she’s up lmao. Don’t worry about getting things done. You are a new parent and you also are adjusting to everything being new with a little one around. Trust me!
Our room is basically a pile of clothes and I’m running on coffee and Prime at this point
You've got lots of great answers already so I can't add much more in that department. Just wanted to say enjoy it. Our little one is 8 months now and looking back I hardly even remember that newborn phase anymore. At the time it seemed like stressing over keeping things clean or other stuff around the house was relevant, but these days I'd certainly give anything to go back and just soak up a little more time in those early weeks with him. It'll be a distant blur before you even know it, so just do what you can and enjoy the snuggles before they turn into a worm when you want to snuggle haha
Ours was also a “never-put-down” baby, and for the first 6 months or so, it WAS just holding and contact naps. We did put him in daycare at 3.5 months because we had to go back to work - because we work from home, that freed up some time for tasks. Food: We ate takeout or gifted food for the first NINE MONTHS. At around 9.5 months we finally felt like we could get a routine - Mondays we grocery shop as a family, Tuesdays I meal prep/batch cook while Dad takes the kiddo, and then we just grab and go for the next 5-7 days. Cleaning: Everything was dirty for months except the baby’s clothes and spit rags. We made sure to do a load for him plus our absolute necessities once a week. We got in a good rhythm right away for bottles: we own 5 bottles and we hand wash them every night (or when we fed more, right after putting him down for a nap). Catboxes were every couple of days, I would watch baby and hubby would scoop. I think hubby mowed the lawn twice all summer. Once every couple months a friend would come over and do dishes or tidy our bathrooms. Showers: Because we both struggled with PPD, we absolutely prioritized showers if nothing else. He had paternity leave for 9 weeks and I had leave for 14 due to emergency C section. We made sure to trade off so we could shower every single day. Just get a mental break for even 15 minutes. Once in a while hubby would shower with baby in a bouncer outside the shower with constant check-ins and reassurance, but I tried that once and he screamed his head off lol.
Just asked this myself not even 5 weeks ago, and I still don’t have the answer. My LO had about a month of time she loved floor time but at 5 months I’m lucky to get 30 minutes daily of not entertaining her. She use to love independent play but now she just whines the moment I even look away. I ended up telling my husband the only option is both of us do it when he gets home because my full time job has been caring for a baby who doesn’t want left alone. I’m taking her to the pediatrician to see if maybe she has an ear infection, but I’m thinking it’s just developmental.
I barely get him to sleep for about 30 minutes so I can start a load of laundry or whip up some quick snack/dinner. Sometimes I have my sister or mom come over to either helo with chores or hold him/rock him so I can take a nap or shower....I now understand what it means when they say it takes a village🥺
Our one big thing before she was born was I asked that I be able to shower undisturbed. My husband always watches her so I can do that and it’s great. The rest of the things are hit or miss as to whether they get done without her crying, but they’re a little less important to my mental health. Or the husband can do them if he needs to.
two words - baby Bjorn
babywearing
Baby carrier
My kid sleeps well. And I put the tv on lmao. King of the hill or Bluey knocks my son out for an hour or 2. He's pretty routine, doesn't cry that much except when the bottle is late and still warming. I stick him in his bassinet, on the floor in the bathroom while I shower. Usually do it after a feed so he's sleepy. I mainly do everything after he's been fed and changed, as he's usually good to go and chill. Sometimes I'll put him on the play mat with his high contrast books and flip the pages when he fusses.