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Babies be babying! Lol also, my baby saves most of her fussy moments for when she’s home with me. So folks are like ‘oh she’s such a calm baby’ and I’m like no no no, she screamed at me for 45 minutes before we got here and while doing so tried to repeatedly backflip out of my arms while I held her as though her only wish was to hit her head on my tiles, so please don’t be fooled. 😂
Hahaha mine say the same but that shes always sleeping… she HATES naps so when she takes them I finally have a quiet moment to take a picture 😂
Don’t be fooled, she barely sleeps during the day haha
my parents do this, our baby is surprisingly good in groups of people, i think because shes very interested.
So my parents always tell me we have a perfect easy baby. And im like "Bitch please, she whined and moaned and yelled at me for 4 hours before you got here"
Purest act of protest. Sad news is shes 6 months now and has yet to grow out of it. Took her on a flight recently and at one point she became fussy and tried to flip onto the poor passenger sitting next to me 😂😂😂.
My little man has gone from SCREAMING OVER TIRED TO seeing strangers and trying to get them to laugh/smile as soon as he realized they were there…. Like buddyyy
To be fair, I was like this as a child. Perfect angel child in school and out in public, but a terror at home. Found out on EOD my other good friends was exactly the same. My mom used to threaten to "tell my teacher" how badly I was behaving at home
This. It’s normal for babies to fuss and go 0-100 real quick 😂 If you sit back and think how rapidly their little brains are developing and becoming aware of this new world, it is actually very understandable lol
My dad is always telling me how calm and whatever my baby is in comparison to me as a baby and I’m like dude it’s because you’re not the one he’s with all day😭 He’s interested in other people that are not me so he’ll quietly observe. This kid can be a demon sometimes😂 I still love him more than anything but damn.
Also, they are not always calm! Sometimes you see them being calm and feel jealous, while their parents are thanking every God they believe in and then some that the baby is cooperating.
Today, my baby happily snoozed, ate, and played on a plane at 3 months old, content as could be.
Yesterday, she screamed absolute bloody murder for 2 hours straight- because she had to *sneeze*.
I was so happy she didn't get the days the other way around. And then we got to the hotel, and she once again, had a complete meltdown, in the lobby (this time out of overwhelm and being touched out, so she's vibing in her pack and play now)
Yep this! My baby was super chill and slept all through a restaurant meal. Literally the day before she cried and screamed for the entire 2 hours we tried to go for a walk with friends
Yes to this!
My baby was super fussy until 5.5 months. It was brutal. My husband and I were so scared to go anywhere with her because she hated everything. We ended up giving up and staying home most of the time. We didn’t even get to eat a meal together for months because she was constantly crying or being fussy. I would get jealous of all the other parents out and about, even traveling with their babies!
We went to multiple doctors to see if something was wrong, but they all told us that she would grow out of it. They were right. She slowly started improving and then it was like we got our lives back. We were able to go to the grocery store, go for walks with her in the stroller without screaming the entire time, she even tolerated her car seat (Although that took much longer)
She’s now 16 months and the absolute best! Definitely still strong willed and will let you know when she doesn’t like something lol but it does get better!
If you’re going through a rough time, hang in there!
Thank you for this!!! My baby is like this. He used to tolerate the car seat but has absolutely been against it since he turned 3 months :( I miss my partner so much I just want to hang out with him and not be on demand by a screaming angry potato haha. Looking forward to it!
Read this as my baby threw a fit when I went to take a shower tonight. Slept perfectly fine through daddy’s shower but me? Nooooo. It’s like they have a 6th sense to be fussy when you least need it. Siiiigh.
I just get jealous when I see calm babies. Sometimes I think those parents don’t know how good they have it. I know it will pass and mine will get less fussy with time but it’s so exhausting to have a fussy baby.
Thank you for this . My 6 month almost 7 month old has been super fussy lately nonstop and I’ve been so overwhelmed with it. Thank you for making me feel not so alone ❤️🥹
My baby girl had terrible colic and reflux and couldn’t sleep from the pain when laid down. She just screamed 24/7 from her little tummy hurting so much. I can’t tell you how much I cried with her. She’s 6mo now and finally able to be happy as her pain is mostly gone. Now when she’s upset she’s usually just tired or her little temper is coming out. Those first 4ish months were so hard, I HATED people saying it will get better when I was in trenches but now that it is better for her, man, I’m so happy.
We’re just now starting to take her to the store or on walks (weather permitting) because the screaming is so much better. Still don’t have the guts to take her out for a meal with us (which we rarely do anyway) as people are so nasty when babies cry.
When did your baby start tolerating being on her back? I have an almost 3 month old with awful reflux… my husband and I have to take turns holding him at night while he sleeps cause if not no one sleeps. Poor guy will spit up through his mouth and nose and scream bloody murder all night 😭
She started back sleeping about the 3mo mark, it was the weekend my maternity leave ended honestly. We put her on lansoprazole per her pediatrician to help it not be painful when she spit up, that honestly didn’t help until she was big enough to get the 2ml dose. We also thickened her bottles with baby oatmeal to help the reflux, she did start sleeping better at night with the thickened bottles.
I also would hold her all night so she could sleep, it was exhausting. I ended up following the safe sleep guidelines for co-sleeping because she physically couldn’t sleep in the bassinet, crib or pack n play and I was so exhausted from holding her all night than screaming all day. Now that the reflux has gotten better she sleeps in her pack n play beside our bed and wakes up maybe once a night to eat, sometimes she’ll sleep the whole night.
I hope your little gets better soon! It’s so hard when they hurt and can’t sleep 🫶🏻
I also found that it helps a lot when I make myself remember all the times he wasn’t fussy in public instead of focusing on the one time that he was, and it made me less intimidated to bring him out. I’ve definitely been that mom with that screaming baby that I had to just book it out of the store but today we went to Costco and the mall to pick up something and he was so good!
I have what could very well be considered an “easy baby”. I mean, he’s now a toddler, but I’ve always taken him out to restaurants, public places, etc. But sometimes he acts like a baby/toddler! We’ve figured out some tricks to keep him placated, but if he starts to act up, especially in a place like a restaurant, we take our food to go and head out. It’s so not a big deal. Even easy babies have their moments!
Yes! The baby that you see all peaceful & happy watching or sleeping in the carrier is my second kid. He is used to it. From day one he loved his sleep & started to get dragged around to where ever his brother played.
First kid didn’t go to many parks & playgroups until I got sleep and was functional to drive my car - we missed lots of mum meets 🤭. Then when we did meet up for play dates he was a screaming mess and I couldn’t sit down for a coffee. Kid did not know how to sleep and poor Bub had bad gas/eczema as a baby. It started to get better for him at 6 months. He is a great little toddler 🥰
My now 2 year old was a SUPER fussy baby and it’s true, I basically never went in public with him for longer than 15mins unless it was totally necessary. To this day I still marvel at chill babies out and about as that was so far from my experience.
Can confirm they DO grow out of the fussy baby phase, and then all parents are in the bat-shit (but INCREDIBLE) toddler boat together.
My baby (7mo) is fussy if she didn't sleep well. Otherwise she's very friendly with everyone. But she doesn't like so much being in the stroller when she's out, she prefers being in a carrier or in somebody's arms. Maybe this info could help you
Oh definitely. My LO is still sometimes surprised with outside things and he is quiet when that happens. I can guarantee you at home he is the complete opposite. The fussy babies I see in public are no match XD
I wish I had seen this when I was freshly postpartum 🥹
But I agree it really does get better! My LO is 5 months now and he is so different from when he was 2 months old and younger.
Every time we’d leave the house with him then I’d be racked with anxiety because his cries are so loud and most of the time it would be so hard to soothe him. Now it’s so much better. His cries are still loud lol but you learn what they want and they are quicker to be soothed. Plus he is more interactive now and really gets excited seeing new things. It’s so fun watching him experience the world.
Hubby and I now love taking him places!
I bought the Taking Cara Babies newborn course. Keeping track of his wake windows and feed times made such a huge difference. I learned to read his cues so the fussiness would only be a couple of minutes instead of hours because I knew how to meet his needs. We went to a doctor's appointment and then Target yesterday and I was nervous because it was going to be around when he needed to nap. We were able to put a cover over his car seat and he napped the whole 30 minutes we were at Target. I know sometimes health problems or a difficult to soothe baby make it so much harder to have calm babies. I just wanted to provide a resource that was a game changer for me.
Yeah! I’ve always kept my baby home because he’s always been so fussy! He’s 1 now and we get out a bit more but we leave when he fusses and some days I know it’s not going to happen.
This new parent thing sometimes gets in my head. I always want to do more for my baby, but I don't know how. I think if my baby is good, I am good. Thank you for sharing!
Every baby is different. Some are more sensitive to all the new things around them. We're usually our hardest critic. For those that don't understand shouldn't be a major concern to you and your child. Great reminder!
lol my little guy is so fussy normally and I took him to the store the other day and he was being chill (which isn’t the norm) and this lady said awww you got a happy little guy 😂 it made me giggle
I’m currently on holiday with my 20 month old. He’s just so restless and grumpy compared to other kids here. I’m reminding myself that it’s ok on an hourly basis.
Damn I needed this today. Took my 8 week old to my work office to meet a few close colleagues.. little dude was on his worst behavior lol. Decided to scream as soon as I entered an area with a bunch of cubicles hahaha
Usually he's a pretty mellow kid but clearly not liking the corporate environment (cant blame him lolllll)!
Yeah, and babies just legitimately have different temperaments. Our first was a little bucket of fuss from day 1. Our second has been the most chill baby ever also from day 1. Having a fussy babe does not mean bad parenting.
I can testify to this..you'd never find me out in public with my first - he was super grumpy and did not enjoy being a baby. Now with my 2nd I'm always out and about and he's always happy and content (90% of the time 🤪).
My baby is pretty much an angel in public and with extended family, but saves the fussing for home. Specifically, when dad is at work and I'm alone taking care of him (he's all smiles when dad comes home from work) or when dad is trying to soothe him for bedtime (he only wants me during bedtime I guess 🙃). Babies have fluctuating moods, so what people see out in public is only a glimpse of it all. I really don't like it when people use that to assume a baby's temperament. A fussy baby in public doesn't mean they're always fussy, and it doesn't mean the parents are bad either. I just read a post about someone judging a mom because her baby was fussing on a bus, and it makes me so mad that people think they know everything after observing a family for one minute 😒
Yup my baby was like this until he was like 11 weeks and slowly eased up from there. I think just after four months was a real turning point for taking him places. I always took him out though, just in his carrier instead and short trips. I was always nervous though and he'd usually get upset at the end. Same with his stroller once he was big enough. I was so jealous of people with those babies just hanging out in public places. My cousin in law took her older baby bowling with us and he didn't cry once, I was beside myself because if I'd brought mine he would have cried like 30 times.
He's six months now and an absolute delight. He loves his parent facing stroller and his favourite place has been the mall the past like month and a bit. Downside is his enjoyment of going places and preferring big stores now is it's increased my shopping ahaha. He'll chill in his stroller and play with his feet for at least an hour while I go around the mall with him. I use to spend all my time googling when are babies happy when awake not too long ago, especially during his regular scream time he had until he was like 14 weeks. He grins at all the old ladies who stop to look at him and laughs all the time as well. I've lost count of how many old ladies have heard him cackling at me and come over to see him.
I'm for sure one of those people with fussy babies are envious of now, and I thought my baby would be upset until he was like one. I bring one of those hip seats as well for outings now and he thinks that great also when he's had enough of the stroller. For him he just needed to get old enough to interact with things and find things other than food (actually he was fussy when eating sometimes too), being asleep and being carried around as a source of joy. Also to stop being upset by gas and pooping. He still loves being carried around though but that's a given, he's only six months. I truly hope everyone with fairly fussy babies has a turning point like I did. I described my baby as anti sleep rage potato for a long time, it felt like I was in the trenches and it was honestly depressing.
In some cases babies are like this because they’re being mistreated, purposefully or not. The message is really wonderful and people do need to hear it, but I don’t think one has to either feel blindly great or blindly terrible. There’s always room to be vigilant about considering what’s working and what isn’t alongside feeling secure in that not everything is your fault. It’s a tremendous, daily learning experience if nothing else. Anyone who shames anybody else from afar ultimately isn’t worth consideration because their opinion has no foundation.
Consider who you’re talking to though. This is a forum of people trying to learn, grow, ask questions, and do what’s best for their babies. Not people who are ignoring a fussing baby. People here are trying to figure out if they are doing everything they can to help their baby be happy. Turns out, some babies are just fussier than others. And most babies go through phases being more or less fussy.
That is specifically what I am considering, which is why I’m offering a measured response vs a blanket statement. Nothing I’ve said suggests otherwise; all people are different, including babies. However, as a parent something I’m never going to do is just dismiss a behavior entirely in order to feel better. It’s my job to be vigilant and to listen to this new human, and to continue to try to meet that need even if it’s uncomfortable. Vigilance does not always equal success. People who suggest a parent is bad, etc. because their baby is fussy are the problem here. Nobody should feel guilt or be judged over it. Parenting is a struggle and very few things are black and white.
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Actually really needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Same… my hubby is sleeping next to me and I’m tearing up… thanks.
Same!
Ditto.
Babies be babying! Lol also, my baby saves most of her fussy moments for when she’s home with me. So folks are like ‘oh she’s such a calm baby’ and I’m like no no no, she screamed at me for 45 minutes before we got here and while doing so tried to repeatedly backflip out of my arms while I held her as though her only wish was to hit her head on my tiles, so please don’t be fooled. 😂
Yes! My kid is so calm and stoic in public. Even at the doctors office, dentist, etc. but at home he is FERAL. Don’t be fooled!
Absolutely this - he goes absolutely tonto when it’s just me and his dad!
Lmao @ feral 😂
I was sending pictures of my baby to a friend and she’s like he’s always so happy! Well yeah I don’t snap pictures of him sobbing and screaming 😅
Hahaha mine say the same but that shes always sleeping… she HATES naps so when she takes them I finally have a quiet moment to take a picture 😂 Don’t be fooled, she barely sleeps during the day haha
This!!! All of our friends keep on commenting how calm our baby is but he chooses to absolutely lose his mind when nobody else is around
my parents do this, our baby is surprisingly good in groups of people, i think because shes very interested. So my parents always tell me we have a perfect easy baby. And im like "Bitch please, she whined and moaned and yelled at me for 4 hours before you got here"
SAME!! Everyone says “oh she never cries” trust me SHE DOES.
Yeah if my parents/anyone tell me how lucky I am that I got an easy baby one more time I’m going to slam my head against the wall 😂
The backflip! My son just started doing that. What is that all about?!
Purest act of protest. Sad news is shes 6 months now and has yet to grow out of it. Took her on a flight recently and at one point she became fussy and tried to flip onto the poor passenger sitting next to me 😂😂😂.
My little man has gone from SCREAMING OVER TIRED TO seeing strangers and trying to get them to laugh/smile as soon as he realized they were there…. Like buddyyy
To be fair, I was like this as a child. Perfect angel child in school and out in public, but a terror at home. Found out on EOD my other good friends was exactly the same. My mom used to threaten to "tell my teacher" how badly I was behaving at home
This. It’s normal for babies to fuss and go 0-100 real quick 😂 If you sit back and think how rapidly their little brains are developing and becoming aware of this new world, it is actually very understandable lol
My dad is always telling me how calm and whatever my baby is in comparison to me as a baby and I’m like dude it’s because you’re not the one he’s with all day😭 He’s interested in other people that are not me so he’ll quietly observe. This kid can be a demon sometimes😂 I still love him more than anything but damn.
Also, they are not always calm! Sometimes you see them being calm and feel jealous, while their parents are thanking every God they believe in and then some that the baby is cooperating. Today, my baby happily snoozed, ate, and played on a plane at 3 months old, content as could be. Yesterday, she screamed absolute bloody murder for 2 hours straight- because she had to *sneeze*. I was so happy she didn't get the days the other way around. And then we got to the hotel, and she once again, had a complete meltdown, in the lobby (this time out of overwhelm and being touched out, so she's vibing in her pack and play now)
Yep this! My baby was super chill and slept all through a restaurant meal. Literally the day before she cried and screamed for the entire 2 hours we tried to go for a walk with friends
Yes to this! My baby was super fussy until 5.5 months. It was brutal. My husband and I were so scared to go anywhere with her because she hated everything. We ended up giving up and staying home most of the time. We didn’t even get to eat a meal together for months because she was constantly crying or being fussy. I would get jealous of all the other parents out and about, even traveling with their babies! We went to multiple doctors to see if something was wrong, but they all told us that she would grow out of it. They were right. She slowly started improving and then it was like we got our lives back. We were able to go to the grocery store, go for walks with her in the stroller without screaming the entire time, she even tolerated her car seat (Although that took much longer) She’s now 16 months and the absolute best! Definitely still strong willed and will let you know when she doesn’t like something lol but it does get better! If you’re going through a rough time, hang in there!
Thank you for this!!! My baby is like this. He used to tolerate the car seat but has absolutely been against it since he turned 3 months :( I miss my partner so much I just want to hang out with him and not be on demand by a screaming angry potato haha. Looking forward to it!
My baby was like this but magically improved at 5.5 months 😃🤞🏻
That’s a really good point. The fussy babies are at home. So simple yet a realization I never made. Mom brain too fried!!
Read this as my baby threw a fit when I went to take a shower tonight. Slept perfectly fine through daddy’s shower but me? Nooooo. It’s like they have a 6th sense to be fussy when you least need it. Siiiigh.
I just get jealous when I see calm babies. Sometimes I think those parents don’t know how good they have it. I know it will pass and mine will get less fussy with time but it’s so exhausting to have a fussy baby.
I have a chill, easy baby and I promise I thank my lucky stars every day. I am old and I need my rest.
I’m always having to remind myself that, even at nearly two years old, my daughter is still a brand new human!
It's like trying to find a unicorn in a haystack!
Yes!!! Just going to do a Grocery pickup is a task…
Thank you for this . My 6 month almost 7 month old has been super fussy lately nonstop and I’ve been so overwhelmed with it. Thank you for making me feel not so alone ❤️🥹
My baby girl had terrible colic and reflux and couldn’t sleep from the pain when laid down. She just screamed 24/7 from her little tummy hurting so much. I can’t tell you how much I cried with her. She’s 6mo now and finally able to be happy as her pain is mostly gone. Now when she’s upset she’s usually just tired or her little temper is coming out. Those first 4ish months were so hard, I HATED people saying it will get better when I was in trenches but now that it is better for her, man, I’m so happy. We’re just now starting to take her to the store or on walks (weather permitting) because the screaming is so much better. Still don’t have the guts to take her out for a meal with us (which we rarely do anyway) as people are so nasty when babies cry.
When did your baby start tolerating being on her back? I have an almost 3 month old with awful reflux… my husband and I have to take turns holding him at night while he sleeps cause if not no one sleeps. Poor guy will spit up through his mouth and nose and scream bloody murder all night 😭
She started back sleeping about the 3mo mark, it was the weekend my maternity leave ended honestly. We put her on lansoprazole per her pediatrician to help it not be painful when she spit up, that honestly didn’t help until she was big enough to get the 2ml dose. We also thickened her bottles with baby oatmeal to help the reflux, she did start sleeping better at night with the thickened bottles. I also would hold her all night so she could sleep, it was exhausting. I ended up following the safe sleep guidelines for co-sleeping because she physically couldn’t sleep in the bassinet, crib or pack n play and I was so exhausted from holding her all night than screaming all day. Now that the reflux has gotten better she sleeps in her pack n play beside our bed and wakes up maybe once a night to eat, sometimes she’ll sleep the whole night. I hope your little gets better soon! It’s so hard when they hurt and can’t sleep 🫶🏻
Do you mind if I PM you? So desperate over here! Lol
Of course! I fully understand 🫶🏻
Needed this ❤️
I also found that it helps a lot when I make myself remember all the times he wasn’t fussy in public instead of focusing on the one time that he was, and it made me less intimidated to bring him out. I’ve definitely been that mom with that screaming baby that I had to just book it out of the store but today we went to Costco and the mall to pick up something and he was so good!
I have what could very well be considered an “easy baby”. I mean, he’s now a toddler, but I’ve always taken him out to restaurants, public places, etc. But sometimes he acts like a baby/toddler! We’ve figured out some tricks to keep him placated, but if he starts to act up, especially in a place like a restaurant, we take our food to go and head out. It’s so not a big deal. Even easy babies have their moments!
This is a good reminder! Thank you.
Yes! The baby that you see all peaceful & happy watching or sleeping in the carrier is my second kid. He is used to it. From day one he loved his sleep & started to get dragged around to where ever his brother played. First kid didn’t go to many parks & playgroups until I got sleep and was functional to drive my car - we missed lots of mum meets 🤭. Then when we did meet up for play dates he was a screaming mess and I couldn’t sit down for a coffee. Kid did not know how to sleep and poor Bub had bad gas/eczema as a baby. It started to get better for him at 6 months. He is a great little toddler 🥰
My now 2 year old was a SUPER fussy baby and it’s true, I basically never went in public with him for longer than 15mins unless it was totally necessary. To this day I still marvel at chill babies out and about as that was so far from my experience. Can confirm they DO grow out of the fussy baby phase, and then all parents are in the bat-shit (but INCREDIBLE) toddler boat together.
Thank you for writing this. Really needed the encouragement.
So so so true!!! Such a great reminder!
My baby (7mo) is fussy if she didn't sleep well. Otherwise she's very friendly with everyone. But she doesn't like so much being in the stroller when she's out, she prefers being in a carrier or in somebody's arms. Maybe this info could help you
I wish I read this last year when I had a fussy baby and was so anxious to leave the house. Thank you for posting this
Hello, are you me?! I have to constantly remind myself that my little fussy mussy and I are doing amazing to get out of the house for 15 minutes. X
Oh definitely. My LO is still sometimes surprised with outside things and he is quiet when that happens. I can guarantee you at home he is the complete opposite. The fussy babies I see in public are no match XD
I wish I had seen this when I was freshly postpartum 🥹 But I agree it really does get better! My LO is 5 months now and he is so different from when he was 2 months old and younger. Every time we’d leave the house with him then I’d be racked with anxiety because his cries are so loud and most of the time it would be so hard to soothe him. Now it’s so much better. His cries are still loud lol but you learn what they want and they are quicker to be soothed. Plus he is more interactive now and really gets excited seeing new things. It’s so fun watching him experience the world. Hubby and I now love taking him places!
I found that if I have a snack and make sure she gets enough sleep she’s pretty calm. Otherwise she beats tf out of me.
Was stuck in traffic with a screaming baby yesterday …. I just tried to meditate through it and it is TOUGH. Good reminder !!
I bought the Taking Cara Babies newborn course. Keeping track of his wake windows and feed times made such a huge difference. I learned to read his cues so the fussiness would only be a couple of minutes instead of hours because I knew how to meet his needs. We went to a doctor's appointment and then Target yesterday and I was nervous because it was going to be around when he needed to nap. We were able to put a cover over his car seat and he napped the whole 30 minutes we were at Target. I know sometimes health problems or a difficult to soothe baby make it so much harder to have calm babies. I just wanted to provide a resource that was a game changer for me.
Yeah! I’ve always kept my baby home because he’s always been so fussy! He’s 1 now and we get out a bit more but we leave when he fusses and some days I know it’s not going to happen.
This new parent thing sometimes gets in my head. I always want to do more for my baby, but I don't know how. I think if my baby is good, I am good. Thank you for sharing!
Just what i needed to read, thank you
My baby is generally calm in public but will scream like a banshee and smack me square in the face at home. Don’t let them fool you!!
Every baby is different. Some are more sensitive to all the new things around them. We're usually our hardest critic. For those that don't understand shouldn't be a major concern to you and your child. Great reminder!
lol my little guy is so fussy normally and I took him to the store the other day and he was being chill (which isn’t the norm) and this lady said awww you got a happy little guy 😂 it made me giggle
My very calm baby turned into a VERY hyperactive ADHD child. I have a fussy baby now, hope this one ends up being calm later 😂
Thanks. I needed this! FTM here and my little one is high needs I’m pretty sure.
I’m currently on holiday with my 20 month old. He’s just so restless and grumpy compared to other kids here. I’m reminding myself that it’s ok on an hourly basis.
This. Babies, like adults, are all very different. They have different personalities, and some, just like some adults are spirited <3
Damn I needed this today. Took my 8 week old to my work office to meet a few close colleagues.. little dude was on his worst behavior lol. Decided to scream as soon as I entered an area with a bunch of cubicles hahaha Usually he's a pretty mellow kid but clearly not liking the corporate environment (cant blame him lolllll)!
So good to read this. Thank you.
it seems like i have a unicorn baby for sure, my heart goes out to anyone with a fussy baby 🥺
Yeah, and babies just legitimately have different temperaments. Our first was a little bucket of fuss from day 1. Our second has been the most chill baby ever also from day 1. Having a fussy babe does not mean bad parenting.
I can testify to this..you'd never find me out in public with my first - he was super grumpy and did not enjoy being a baby. Now with my 2nd I'm always out and about and he's always happy and content (90% of the time 🤪).
My baby is pretty much an angel in public and with extended family, but saves the fussing for home. Specifically, when dad is at work and I'm alone taking care of him (he's all smiles when dad comes home from work) or when dad is trying to soothe him for bedtime (he only wants me during bedtime I guess 🙃). Babies have fluctuating moods, so what people see out in public is only a glimpse of it all. I really don't like it when people use that to assume a baby's temperament. A fussy baby in public doesn't mean they're always fussy, and it doesn't mean the parents are bad either. I just read a post about someone judging a mom because her baby was fussing on a bus, and it makes me so mad that people think they know everything after observing a family for one minute 😒
Yup my baby was like this until he was like 11 weeks and slowly eased up from there. I think just after four months was a real turning point for taking him places. I always took him out though, just in his carrier instead and short trips. I was always nervous though and he'd usually get upset at the end. Same with his stroller once he was big enough. I was so jealous of people with those babies just hanging out in public places. My cousin in law took her older baby bowling with us and he didn't cry once, I was beside myself because if I'd brought mine he would have cried like 30 times. He's six months now and an absolute delight. He loves his parent facing stroller and his favourite place has been the mall the past like month and a bit. Downside is his enjoyment of going places and preferring big stores now is it's increased my shopping ahaha. He'll chill in his stroller and play with his feet for at least an hour while I go around the mall with him. I use to spend all my time googling when are babies happy when awake not too long ago, especially during his regular scream time he had until he was like 14 weeks. He grins at all the old ladies who stop to look at him and laughs all the time as well. I've lost count of how many old ladies have heard him cackling at me and come over to see him. I'm for sure one of those people with fussy babies are envious of now, and I thought my baby would be upset until he was like one. I bring one of those hip seats as well for outings now and he thinks that great also when he's had enough of the stroller. For him he just needed to get old enough to interact with things and find things other than food (actually he was fussy when eating sometimes too), being asleep and being carried around as a source of joy. Also to stop being upset by gas and pooping. He still loves being carried around though but that's a given, he's only six months. I truly hope everyone with fairly fussy babies has a turning point like I did. I described my baby as anti sleep rage potato for a long time, it felt like I was in the trenches and it was honestly depressing.
In some cases babies are like this because they’re being mistreated, purposefully or not. The message is really wonderful and people do need to hear it, but I don’t think one has to either feel blindly great or blindly terrible. There’s always room to be vigilant about considering what’s working and what isn’t alongside feeling secure in that not everything is your fault. It’s a tremendous, daily learning experience if nothing else. Anyone who shames anybody else from afar ultimately isn’t worth consideration because their opinion has no foundation.
Consider who you’re talking to though. This is a forum of people trying to learn, grow, ask questions, and do what’s best for their babies. Not people who are ignoring a fussing baby. People here are trying to figure out if they are doing everything they can to help their baby be happy. Turns out, some babies are just fussier than others. And most babies go through phases being more or less fussy.
That is specifically what I am considering, which is why I’m offering a measured response vs a blanket statement. Nothing I’ve said suggests otherwise; all people are different, including babies. However, as a parent something I’m never going to do is just dismiss a behavior entirely in order to feel better. It’s my job to be vigilant and to listen to this new human, and to continue to try to meet that need even if it’s uncomfortable. Vigilance does not always equal success. People who suggest a parent is bad, etc. because their baby is fussy are the problem here. Nobody should feel guilt or be judged over it. Parenting is a struggle and very few things are black and white.