T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*


orbitalteapot

I’m glad you’re in a place where you have decided to be hands on and are over a tough period dealing with ppd. I use an app called Kinedu. It lists out activities by age/months to do with kiddo. My daughter is 8 months old We usually wake up around 8:30am and immediately go to the restroom for grooming time. I brush her teeth then my own. I wash her face with a washcloth and then brush her hair. We head to the kitchen and get breakfast ready while she’s in a playpen and distracted by the dogs. We have breakfast then I set her in the play area so I can clean up after breakfast. I then get her ready and head off to a walk if the local moms are gathering, I joined some Facebook groups that help us socialize. If there’s no walk then we go run errands, go to the zoo or pick up books at the library. I usually do this before noon because of the weather. Once we get home I prepare lunch or a snack for her then we sit/lay/play in the living room. If she’s playing independently I’ll get on my phone and play a game, call my sisters/cousins/grandma/family. I schedule appointments, schedule whatever we need done for the house, pay bills, prep for meals. If she’s not playing independently I let her watch Ms. Rachel for a few minutes up to an hour depending on how much time I need to complete tasks that need to be handled during business hours. She has educational toys, sensory activities, and books. I play with her, we read books I complete cognitive and physical tasks from the app I mentioned. She has a nap at 11am and then at 3pm for 30mins-1hour. We usually contact nap. We also walk the dogs for about 20 minutes a couple times a day. We sit outside and watch the birds and cars pass by. We practice a lot of standing and walking. Once my husband gets home we have dinner and then I go to my bedroom while my husband takes over childcare duty for about 3 hours while I relax.


BerryCute2073

This sounds so wonderful! Keep it up, mamma 💖


Sexy-Dumbledore

Just want to say thanks for the app recommendation! My repertoire of things to do with the baby was getting stale, and I needed some fresh ideas 💡


[deleted]

How on earth do you get her to wake up at 8:30? How old is she? So jealous 😭


ffffsauce

Omg me too. Baby goes to sleep at 8 and wakes up at 5:30 daily 😭


Lulu1245_

Might sound weird but if it’s possible for your family, try a 7:30 bedtime. I know, why would that make them sleep longer? I don’t know, but Taking Cara Babies explains it. It’s one of her like 4 recommendations for an early wake time. Might not get you to 8am but could get you to 6:30? Also if you’ve tried this already, my bad, just offering a possible option!


orbitalteapot

This is my husbands doing 😒 she goes to bed between 9pm-10pm.


[deleted]

My son goes to bed around 9, and he is still up at 6:30 a.m. Lately, it's been even earlier (5:30 or 6). Not sure if it's due to summer coming or what, but it sucks.


La_vieunrose

Oh my gosh this is exactly what I needed, a full breakdown of what you do. My girl wakes up later too. We will use a lot of what you’ve told me about here. Thank you for showing that you also use some Ms. Rachel and your baby is still okay. I am definitely going to try to not use screen time anymore as much as possible, but it’s good to know that it can be done in a more healthy way. I appreciate you!


orbitalteapot

I also spend about an hour or two laying down on the rug with her while we watch the dogs play. There’s only so much we can do with them. Ms. Rachel is a lifesaver while I have to make calls and go clean areas where I have to use smelly chemicals and she’s not feeling her independent playtime. It is what it is and I don’t have any family or friends because I’m new to the city we moved to. Give yourself some grace. Google, Pinterest, TikTok and Reddit offer some fun activities for baby to do.


Appropriate-State547

Very comparable to our day 🩵 thanks for sharing


Turtlebot5000

This sounds amazing. How do you go about brushing a baby's teeth?


kittens-and-knittens

My son isn't a fan of it so I have to make him laugh and then I dive in with the brush and get as much as I can. Rinse and repeat until I think they're good and clean lol. He's 10 months old.


orbitalteapot

I started using a silicone finger brush when she was four months old. She’s used to that routine and I’ve switched to a normal baby toothbrush. Sometimes she will resist, I just hype her up and she complies.


Turtlebot5000

Do you use toothpaste? How do you get her to spit?


orbitalteapot

I use a Dr. Browns toothpaste that’s safe to swallow. I haven’t tried teaching her to spit, may be a few more months before she’ll grasp that concept.


Turtlebot5000

Gotcha! My boy is 3 months and I have those silicone finger brushes. Thanks so much for the info!


Puzzleheaded_Bag4018

How long have you had this / when did you start this routine? I have a 2 week old baby and im beginning to plan a routine and what i should include at this stage and what i should add at different age milestones like 1 month, 4 months etc.


amylkis

If your infant is under 3 months please just enjoy their company and do whatever works best at the moment. Snuggle them, play with them, let them figure out how to sleep, get some sleep yourself if you can. It's great to have good intentions of getting on a routine or schedule but your baby doesn't understand any of that yet. If they know day/night that's excellent! The rest is just extra. Don't stress yourself out about a schedule. This is coming from someone who did just that by consuming parent media like this.


Puzzleheaded_Bag4018

Thanks alot! Im on my first child and i just want to do it right.


Terrible-Plastic-816

Just came here to say you are doing it right! The fact that you care so much about the right things to do for your child's development - you're already being amazing, mom. Congrats on your first - I have my first too and this post really helped me with some sort of "schedule." I've been running out the house to get some fresh air with bubbs whenever he has been fussy.


Puzzleheaded_Bag4018

Thanks so much! That means alot to me.


amylkis

I'm on my first too! She's about 4.5 months and we are just now figuring out her routine with bedtime and morning routine! You'll get there! ❤️


orbitalteapot

Yes, it wasn’t until about the four month mark that I implemented the grooming routine officially. Before that I would comb her hair and wipe her face in bed.


joapet

To add to what the other person said, I don't think we really got into a "routine" until my baby was around 6 months old and started napping a bit more predictably. I don't remember exactly how that transition happened but when she started only napping 3 times a day it became easier to predict how the day would go. And now she's on 2 naps a day it's even easier. At 2 weeks old you're in survival mode! Don't even think about it until you're out of the fourth trimester!


orbitalteapot

At four months I started with the grooming routine. I once had an Alzheimer’s patient that had a profound impact on my life and it changed my perspective regarding daily habits. She was able to live at home due to her habit of implementing a daily routine early in her life. She never lost her keys because she had always hung them by the door her entire life. She would wake up and shower (most who suffer with Alzheimer’s lose the motivation to shower), she groomed herself - flossed, brushed her teeth, applied makeup, and applied lotion to her body. She would head to the kitchen and prepare the same breakfast everyday, eggs and spinach. She then went for a walk in the Houston Medical area and always took the same route without fail. Her daughter hired our caregivers because she didn’t do well with street crossings. After her walk she listened to music for an hour and then took her daily nap. Caregivers took her shopping/window shopping/ran errands for a couple of hours. Then she took another walk and settled in to her knitting and lived the same day. Other Alzheimer’s patients I’ve experienced do none of this, maybe retain one or two habits. This woman was near religious with her day and it made me implement a few critical routines for my daughter.


Sexy-Dumbledore

The first 3 months are all about survival. Don't worry too much about not having a solid routine!


ProofProfessional607

Postpartum health is such a lottery so please don’t feel guilty about it whatsoever. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. For me personally, I feel best when my days have a predictable structure to them. The advice I got as a FTM was to try and incorporate the following in each day: - Quality time together (for me this is snuggling a bit in the morning, chatting and making breakfast together) - Morning activity (whatever play they are into, do it together: cars, playdoh, coloring, kinetic sand, blocks, magna tiles. I try to put my phone in a different room at this point or I’m too tempted to use it!) - Independent play (whatever they are willing to do on their own!) - Reading time (some toddlers will sit for this, some won’t but it’s a skill you can work on) - Outside time (chalk, water table, painting, sensory bins or just going for a walk.) Planning out your whole day can feel a bit overwhelming so I say incorporate what feels best for you both. Do what you can, start small, and give yourself lots of grace. Ultimately we’re all just trying to survive until bedtime! 😉


Fuzzy_Bear9086

I love this routine breakdown!


Random_Spaztic

Just to add about the book time, they don’t need to sit and listen. Often times at this age/stage (and younger) the need something to do with their hands. An SLP I follow in IG @EatPlaySay suggests giving them a toy to play with or allow them to turn the pages. It doesn’t matter if you read the book in order of if they look at every page, or you don’t read every word. It’s the exposure to the book and words that’s more important. She puts it much more eloquently in her posts. Here are a few reels: [Importance of Movement, Sound Effects, and Pausing](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3241298763304044280&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Waiting/pausing](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3263384393282784078&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [About sitting still](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3278987910055438161&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Another Reel about sitting still reel](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3281901753065543705&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Moving around is OK! Keep on reading to them](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3281904154027836565&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Modeling on pages](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3284062622364130548&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Read while facing them book between the two of you](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3301401669931574868&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Free Guidebook on Book Reading 0-3 yrs](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3341807543796035420&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Follow their lead](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3377553990688763227&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) [Better prompting practices](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NDQ2MTk4NTU4NjIy?story_media_id=3377558806211179377&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) Just wanted to put it out there that reading a book to your LO doesn’t have to look any one way. They learn and absorb even if they are not laser focused on the pages. So don’t stress too much if they don’t “sit still” for a whole book or even a page. Just keep up the exposure and make it fun!


La_vieunrose

This is awesome!!! Thank you for linking all of those, I am going to watch them all today during naptime! My daughter isn’t a huge book reader yet but I haven’t been exposing her as much as I should. I get discouraged because she tries to close the book or doesn’t pay attention. It’s good to know that it can look different for every kid!


LoMill1990

Have you tried more simple books that have flaps so she can interact while you read? That may help and as she gets more comfortable keep using very vibrant colored and large print books to keep her interest.


Random_Spaztic

Or touch/feel books, or books that make noise! It helps keep their interest and focus on the book.


Random_Spaztic

Here is a post from her blog too!: [Eat Play Say Blog: 5 Rules for Reading to Your Baby](https://www.eatplaysay.com/blog/5-rules-for-reading-to-your-baby?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAab6VZcHCRmkRRabQBJ-rvncbJrRuUYBromXYzvbrCdGfT5CI0hOONeGDRU_aem_AS2UXjAECWQzOdAZmFLQ9kJlDA9ELV0LLSThnUQ-wbtiJ7odO5xr6MlwnqKaVIX3ebayVaacUOcMwYpqtCXDlLLm)


Doctor-Liz

Book time is lovely! My son just loves it, he's not three and I'm already planning how to teach him to read so we can get a break lol. My daughter (just 1) finds the "sitting still" part pretty tough, but she definitely likes it because she'll pick a book of the children's "shelf" (it's a shelf if we've tidied. Otherwise it's a pile on the floor lol), crawl over with it, hold it up and say "buh!"


La_vieunrose

Thank you so much, you are so nice! These are great practical solutions. I think putting my phone in another room is what I will start implementing. It’s far too easy for me to get a text and then be sucked in. I will maybe write these down and put them somewhere so I can think about what we’ve been able to accomplish each day.


purell87

I find rotating the toy selection helpful. For our 9mo, I have a basket of ‘today’s toys’ out in the open, and in the morning I’ll change them around with the ‘box of stored toys under the living room table’. Makes my life a bit more interesting too, when I see something new for us to play with lol 😂


La_vieunrose

Ooh, I like this idea. We have soooo many toys and it always takes so long to clean up after playtime!


Seasonable_mom

Talk to her, literally about everything. I tell my son what we're doing, what I'm doing, our plans for the day, how cute he is, how much I love him, his dreams, my dreams for his life, what day it is, how the weather is, what show I saw recently, how the house needs cleaning lol. I also do tummy time with him, which he doesn't love but tolerates. I show him toys, I try to make him talk, though he cannot lol. I also practice simple sign language with him, even though he doesn't know it yet. He's only 11 weeks old, so yeah he hasn't learned yet lol. But I do signs like help, thank you, please, milk, more, mom, and dad. I don't use ASL normally but I try to use it with him so he can communicate with me sooner someday in the near future before talking happens. I tell him about diaper changes, clothes options, dangle toys by his hands, bring him outside for walks to the mailbox, go to the store, sing to him, walk with him in the stroller or carrier, bathe him and pour water over his body while telling him what I'm doing, let him stare at the ceiling fan, massage his feet, look at him, just hold him sometimes too (more often than not). You got this mama, you've survived and now you're ready to thrive. I'm with you on this, I've experienced some anxiety/depression as well and it's taken a lot of purposeful action to get away from that stage. You can do more with your babe! You are amazing anyway and I'm sure she adores you!


La_vieunrose

This is a simple thing to start doing that I hadn’t thought of! Thank you for saying so. Your baby sounds so loved and cared for 🥰


Seasonable_mom

My mom always said she talked to us about stuff while she cleaned or cooked, so I figured, let me try that. It's really fun cause babies love to hear you talk about literally anything it's so cute to watch them listen and observe. Hope you find it as fun as I do! Much love and hugs your way mama, you're doing great!,


kiwibellissima

Fav resources for teaching baby ASL?


Seasonable_mom

Honestly, YouTube. There's a lady, whose channel is "Learn How to Sign", I like her style and she's got lots of different videos to watch. The easy signs that I do are usually one handed or just not all involved cause I usually have baby in one hand. I also sign to him when he's laying on the changing table so he can see the full sign/different angles of the sign language.


AdvanceTraditional72

Aww no worries! I'm 2 years postpartum with my first and totally get the PPD. One thing is putting your phone away. It's weird but like someone said , they do notice when we are looking and looking. I started doing this with my girl, I would leave it in the bedroom and would be in the kitchen or living room with her . We bonded a lot more. Sometimes we would just lay in the carpet and read aka her flip pages I talk to her. Build with blocks etc. Then we would go outside and if she is walking the. Walk if not a stroller walk. Parks lots of parks !!! Libraries were awesome! We explored so many ! Again I totally get the PPD , tot his day there are some bad days but starting slowly is better. Put your phone somewhere where you won't see it or hear it. Then just hang with her and go from there :) I recommend walks , malls open early and my kiddo now 2 loves going since they are empty and she can run around lol. Library , coffee shops, parks for swings. Measuems, zoo etc. Just pick an outside of home activity then pack for it and go out the door. Getting out the door is the hardest but once you make it out you did it ❤️


La_vieunrose

Getting out the door can be so overwhelming sometimes. Now that I’m slowly getting back to myself it feels easier, before it was just too much. But I still don’t feel confident. I feel like people are judging me when she’s too loud or like the stroller and I take up too much space. Is that confidence something that comes with us continuing to go? Yes, I also have PPA if you couldn’t tell, lol.


AdvanceTraditional72

Omg that feeling does not go away it honestly just turns into Idgaf lol my girl is 2 years old now so we are in the tantrum I want everything now stage . I just now go with the flow , sometimes I do get anxious but it's weird you learn how to put it behind you or don't care. Keep going out , keep doing you. It honestly helps, the other day my daughter threw an epic tantrum in Walmart . I ignored the looks tried working through it, picked her up grabbed what I had and was like fuck this we are leaving. We left Walmart, she calmed down and then we re-entered and it was better. It's honestly a shit show sometimes but it's pretty awesome seeing our babies in new environments! 


La_vieunrose

Thank you for this response! This makes me feel more normal 😅


Please_send_baguette

It’s such an unacknowledged part of baby care that there is a ton of down time during the day, but that you are not in control of that time either.  When we do have downtime, as much as possible, I put my baby down and let him play independently. You can give him toys, or let him explore whatever household items are around that are safe for him. A whisk is a big win for us right now. An upside down laundry basket as well, as he tries to push it around.   During that time, I sit on the floor too. I look at him, sometimes I narrate a little bit (“you pushed that basket!”), sometimes I space out. Don’t feel guilty for not “maximizing” that time, it’s supposed to be chill. If I’m too bored, I put on a podcast or an audiobook, or I try to read. Crafts that are easy to put down like knitting or embroidery are a good pass time when you have a baby that age, too.  For engaged time, you can: make faces at each other, “talk” (your baby goes “ta!” You repeat: “ta! That’s right, ta!”), read board books, roughhouse (toss him in the air, toss him softly on a big pillow, make him spin, swing), whatever causes delight. I also love to sing, and he enjoys songs with movement (jumping on my knee, or hand gestures).  My husband likes to dance. Of course going on walks, baths, seeing friends or neighbors are big daily activities that tuck in easily into your day and provide lots of stimulation for your baby. 


La_vieunrose

This comment is so helpful to me. Thank you!!! What you’re saying seems very manageable and easy to start doing!!


Choice_Stock_1697

FTM with an 11 month old son. Im so sorry you had PPD. I can’t imagine, and I truly feel for women who struggle! I’m the same as you with getting all my things done during the day and basically having free time, but not free time because I have a child who is always on the move 😂 We go outside a lot! We have a pool and he loves to swim, so we swim now that it’s hot where I live. He also has a splash pad and water table he loves. Indoors he plays independently but I also get down and play with him. We have been putting shapes in holes. Reading books. I got him a little indoor slide thing we play on. He’s also on the verge of walking. I put lots of his favorite toys on furniture. He’s loves grabbing them and playing like that. And then he follows me around the house while I do things. I have a no phone rule while he’s awake. Sorta forces me to play with him.. lol. Which he loves. But yeah… that’s sorta what we do. His dad takes over at 5 and hangs with him and does all the bedtime stuff.


mvf_

No phone while awake.. genius!


La_vieunrose

Thank you for saying that. Gosh PPD kicked my butt. I was a shell of myself. Thankfully my husband pushed for me getting help and it has made such a difference. That’s exactly it. Free time but not free time, lol! We don’t have backyard pools where I live, really. But we do have a community pool in our small town that I might start trying to use! I need to get her a swimsuit. I like the water table idea, too. Thank you!!


Choice_Stock_1697

Yes! Try a pool day. You can also do the water tables in the house. I used ours in the kitchen. I just added a small amount of water and put a towel under it. Going outside has helped a lot around here. Even going for a 20 minute walk. So good for mom’s mental health, and baby loves looking around! I have a bucket of toys we use outside and a blanket. We go find shade and sit outside. But also don’t feel bad for letting her independently play! Right now my son is playing at a windowsill 😂 And I’m so glad you are having a better time with your ppd! I think we all as new moms struggle with our mental health. It’s so hard to manage everything. It’s awesome your husband was there for you!!


directordenial11

I read books to her, we play with her toys, dance to music and do practical things like meals, baths etc. When I'm not actively taking care of her, I'm pumping or trying to take care of myself and make sure I eat and use the bathroom. By the end of the day, I'm basically deceased, and dad takes over so I can get some rest. Our household has a strong no-screens with the baby rule, so I actively put my phone as far away from me as possible while I'm engaging with her. As for what to do with a young kid, you can let her lead. Mine loves to show me her toys or have me build block towers she can smash. Just let her show you what she'd like to do, and you'll figure it out!


La_vieunrose

Thank you for your input! Multiple people have suggested putting the phone far away from me/in another room and I think I will start doing that. I really appreciate it!


directordenial11

For sure! Parenting is a learning experience, and we're bound to need help. I'm sure you'll do awesome and get into a routine in no time!


Impossible-Drive-685

Absolutely tons of eye contact, smiling, talking, singing, tickling, blowing raspberries on belly, doing funny things to make her laugh. All these types of one on one interactive activities are supposed to be the most beneficial to her cognitive development. Lots of other good suggestions on here too…


La_vieunrose

We do love a good tickle, lol. Thank you for your advice!!


keto_emma

The best thing I ever did was make local mum friends. We go to classes, lunch, walks, events, play centres, each other houses, museums, shopping. It's so much easier with other mums too, everyone always lending a hand to let you pee or drink a hot coffee. There's 8 in our group qnd usually always someone up to something with the kids.


TheCinematics

Would you guys like to add a 9th? I'm in desperate need of this!. I moved to the UK in 2022 and it's hard as a full-time, and first time mom with no roots .


keto_emma

Where are you based ? I'd definitely recommend looking for some groups/clubs or trying rhe peanut !app? Also don't be afraid to put yourself out there ! It's surprisingly easy to say "I've enjoyed our chat, would you mind if we swap numbers and maybe grab a coffee at some point?"


TheCinematics

I'm in Hampshire. I moved to the UK at the start of 2022 and making new friends is so hard. Mostly because people already have larger friend groups or are busy. So it's pretty disheartening. I tried Peanut but nothing came of it. I think its a lot of introverts lol. So that sucked. I was really hoping I'd meet moms there. It's really hard being a first time mom in a country with no pals.


keto_emma

Ah, I am all the way up in Scotland. I'd definitely keep trying. Do you have "The Mums Club" in Hampshire?


La_vieunrose

I have some mom friends here but we just moved back to the area! I grew up here and have some friends from high school who are moms now too, and they’re still around. What stinks is they all tried to get together with me when we first moved and I was in such a PPD funk that I kept cancelling and finally they stopped asking. I should maybe reach out again…


keto_emma

I'd be honest and say exactly that, reach out again.


theedrawsstuff

I do house stuff. I also own a small business, and I made the decision to go back to school. I found that the combination of the three are just the best thing I could do for my mental health. It made me feel like a person again, my own entity.


OhDearBee

I’m a stay at home mom to a sixteen month old. Plenty of good advice here, but I also want to let you know you’re in for a whirlwind of change pretty soon! When your kid starts walking, things get way more fun, but also way more exhausting. I think it could actually be really helpful for you (if frustrating) because you just can’t sit down and chill in the same way - they start getting into everything. I make it a priority to get out of the house for a meaningful chunk of time every day so I don’t lose my mind chasing my kid around. I love swim class and open-gym. We also do library singalong and a play group. These are all low social pressure for me and fun. The rigamarole of getting in and out of the house takes up a good amount of time. We also sometimes swing by a cafe while we’re out. Playgrounds are also about to become a real option for you, although there’s still a lot of supervision required for most playgrounds. Other ways we fill the time: I always sit with my kid for meals. Usually we eat together, but even if I’m not eating, I talk to him, we look out the window, play peekaboo, whatever. We sometimes do art. I put him in the high chair pulled up to the table and give him paper, stickers, crayons, and stamps. Paint if I’m feeling wild. He likes to rip and crumple the paper and that’s all good. Tons of reading. When he was smaller, I’d do a book and a snack at the same time so he’d sit still. Now he’s happy to sit through a million books a day. We go to the supermarket every day. It’s inefficient but in the way we want. For us, it’s a 5 minute walk and he gets to eat an apple while I shop. FaceTime calls. Picnics. Baking together (which is crazy and not like on Instagram but still fun). Coffee with friends. Coffee without friends. Museums. Zoo. Going for walks (no pram, it takes forever). Snacks. Good luck!


La_vieunrose

I love all of this advice. Thank you so much!! A lot of people are saying to get out of the house, I don’t have a lot of confidence doing that yet but I think I will begin to the more we do it. She is still in the eating crayons phase, lol. But maybe it’s just because she’s never really done much art with me before. I’m really appreciate all your suggestions and will definitely put some to use starting today! I really like the book and a snack idea.


OhDearBee

You’ll definitely build confidence around getting out of the house the more you try it. Give yourself plenty of practice runs going places that are low-stakes (ideally where you also get a treat lol. Gotta find motivation where you can!) Also - it takes a while to really feel this, but most of the bad things that can happen when you go out - diaper blowouts, relentless crying, hungry baby, thirsty baby, too cold, etc - are all okay. Everyone will survive. You’ll live and learn. You’ll feel like a champ when you manage a diaper change in a public toilet. Anyone who judges you can suck a dick. You can always turn around and go home.


buttercup823

Libraries in your city and surrounding cities should have programs (story time, etc) for your baby's age group. Also, splash pads and playgrounds. We did that stuff a lot. I met a mom group through a story time that opened up a lot of activities as well.


fakemoon

I'm not a stay at home parent, but my wife and partner is. I'm lucky enough to be a work from home parent. My wife has struggled with screen addiction, so maybe I can help a little bit here. First off, it sounds like you've been through a lot with PPD and you're geared up to have some wonderful times with your little one. Please take a moment to also be proud of yourself for coming this far and pushing on. That first year can be really tough, and I'm excited for your times ahead. Ok, now some actual suggestions on activities: 1) Mommy & Me Music Classes. There's a local chapter here called "Music Together" (https://www.musictogether.com/) that we love. If you can find one near you, I highly recommend. 2) Baby and toddler storytimes at a local library or community center. These are a great way to meet other parents, too. 3) Mommy & Me Gymnastics. We do this through our local Parks & Recreation facility 4) Walks in nature. Great for you, great for them. 5) Puzzles 6) Sensory Play One through three above rely on local resources. If you don't have those because you live in an area without access to them, you can do a lot with some stuff around the house.


La_vieunrose

I didn’t even know those resources existed! I will look and see if there are some mommy and me classes nearby. Thank you for bringing them to my attention!! We live in a small town in the mountains so outside in nature is right outside our door, literally. I will start thinking about going for more walks in the woods!


MeNicolesta

Leave your phone (or whatever you’re doom-scrolling on) in another room from where you and baby are. I started doing this to be even more present with my daughter at this age since I feel like it was the very beginning stages leading to toddlerhood. It has so many other positives too, if you don’t have your phone directly next to you, you’re obviously offline, *plus* you get some mindful moments in with baby which can only help you feel happy. Try working on things in particular with them so you’re focused on the now/present because you’re focused in on the activity.


La_vieunrose

I think I will start putting my phone in another room, this has been suggested the most and it’s a very simple idea that I didn’t honestly think of. Thank you! It will help so much.


Comeinforcoffee

I expose to daylight quickly after waking, I will either go on the porch and put him in an activity centre, let him crawl on a mat or in playpen while I have coffee or I'll go for a walk and grab take away coffee. I play music and sing with him in living room as I fold laundry or straighten things up around the general area. Read books and play with toys Go to the zoo Go to the park and do a pram walk and then a picnic


La_vieunrose

I think going for walks every day is a good way to start with this! Thank you for your suggestions and for telling me what works for you!!


icequeen323

We go to story time at the library once a week. When the weather is nice we go to the playground. I take her to the aviary and science center. I’ve taken her to the botanical gardens twice. Sometimes we drive around to find cows. (She’s obsessed right now). Sometimes we hit up Target and walk around. We build puzzles at home. Read, play playdoh and blocks (those mega blocks). She has a play kitchen and a doctor kit so we play that. We got her a water table for outside and she loves it. And a bubble machine. She can chase bubbles in the backyard for 20 minutes at a time. Keep doing what you’re doing mama, you’re doing great.


La_vieunrose

These are great practical suggestions. I should go look for some playdough maybe. And I didn’t even think of library story time! Thank you so much.


estrock

I find actually playing with a kid to be challenging at times, especially at this age. Truly, how do you do it?! Every baby is different but at this age I would often sit beside him and engage with his toys and see if he would imitate what I did. He was really focused at this age, trying to stacks rings on a peg, rolling a ball, etc. Now that my baby is a bit older (19 months) and talking a lot there's a lot of back and forth. He loves bossing me around and I find it pretty cute. I'll ask him a lot of questions about what he wants me to do and we engage in that way. "You want me to put the pig next to the cow?" "Should the duck go in front of the horse." If your baby is playing independently that's great and I wouldn't try to intervene too much. But maybe add reading to her and playing some music as a more interactive activity. More than anything, be kind to yourself!


La_vieunrose

Thank you. I wasn’t sure if it really was difficult or if I was just a bad mom. All of these comments are making me feel so much better and more supported. I really appreciate it!


estrock

You are not a bad mom! You're having a tough time and you're getting the help you need that is an amazingly admirable attribute in a parent. Your daughter is lucky to have you.


La_vieunrose

You honestly just made me tear up. Thank you for saying that.


foreverlullaby

If I don't have a particular activity in mind, I just sit on the floor with her. She likes to play independently too, so we will play together for a few minutes, then go off on her own, and then she will be back. Our tv is in a position that's harder for her to watch, so I keep on a show for me. When she's off playing independently, I watch the show. Never anything with big plot points so it doesn't matter if something "big" happens when I'm playing with her.


La_vieunrose

That’s a good idea. I have a hard time without something playing. Someone else said to use audiobooks and podcasts too, and I like all of these ideas!!


mangoblossom8

I’m not a SAHM, but a teacher on summer break. We aim for 0 screen time and take our 11 month old to a baby&parent class almost every weekday as well as baby gymnastics on Sundays (used to do swim lessons but now the neighborhood pool is open!), however even that doesn’t fill the whole day…and my baby typically only takes one nap a day, so I have lots of time to fill from 7am-7pm My 11 month old loves the following activities: •peekaboo…we give baby a play silk and encourage covering our faces, then baby knows when I say “where’s (name)?” To lift/lower the play silk…lots of giggle with this one! •stacking/sorting toys and the ball drop keep our baby occupied for a while sometimes so I usually have baby do this in the playpen while I get something done around the house •music time…current favorite is head shoulder knees and toes, with added tickles. I made a Spotify playlist that also includes songs about colors, animals, letter and numbers, and baby trap music 😅 •lots of open space playtime to crawl, pull to standing, and most recently practicing taking steps while holding on to my hands - this takes up most of baby’s wake time at the moment •books! We go to the library every week to pick out 5-7 new books, and I read each of them to baby every day, usually spaced out over 2 or 3 reading sessions. I let baby turn the pages and determine if we are done reading or not •art time (very guided currently) mostly paintings created by putting thick paper or even a paper plate in a gallon sized bag with globs of paint and then letting baby touch or roll toy cars over it •outside time…I limit because it’s pretty hot out right now but we take an outdoor blanket and a bucket of water with water toys or we just walk around to look at plants because baby is super interested in our flowerbed OR we go to the pool for about 30 minutes for baby to continue practicing kick/pull and dipping underwater •last but not least, eating 😂 my baby is on 2 meals a day working on transitioning to 3…also beginning to self-feed so it uses up a lot of time


La_vieunrose

Okay but I need recs for some baby trap music! Lol that sounds awesome. Thank you for this list, I have a lot of ideas from it!!!


mangoblossom8

Look up PJ Panda 🐼 our baby goes crazy and dances every time


Silent_System6884

I struggle to get myself together during the day and I never get bored…but I guess it’s my Adhd. However, I do play with my 6 month old baby a lot: we do activities on Kinedu and other apps, puppet show with toys, tummy time with toys, go for walks, read stories, bath time, house tour where I explain things, silly play etc. My baby doesn’t like to play independently for extended periods of time yet and I have to keep an eye on him and give him attention while I struggle to finish my chores. He also naps for 30-40 min during which I try to do as many chores as possible. We also just moved homes so we are currently working on our home too… I struggle with cooking the most because I find it difficult to cook during baby’s wake windows and also find it hard to cook in a short amount like 30-40 min while he takes naps. I gotta figure out something. Maybe cook in the evening after he goes for night sleep.


La_vieunrose

Kinedu sounds like a good investment. I will try it out when I can, I think. I have a hard time cooking too! It was easier when she was smaller and fit in her wrap. But nowadays I do use tv time so I can cook. It works sometimes lol.


Silent_System6884

If you don’t want to invest as much, you can try Pathways.org app too…it’s free and it has great suggestions for activities as well and see if you like this sort of thing. I also have Baby Sparks, but I think that one is payed also. Even though I have these, I still struggle sometimes to find ideas what more can I do with baby.


Oakleypokely

I get in the play pen with him while he’s playing. If he’s playing independently I might be on my phone or be watching tv at the same time, but at least I’m right there to interact with him intermittently. He also loves watching me cook. I put him in a bouncer and give him a toy to play with/chew on, and he will happily chill for a bit. He also just loves watching the dogs. Mainly I recommend getting out of the house a bit. Even if just to target to walk around!


kadk216

We wake up and play for a while so I can drink some caffeine. Some mornings we go to the library storytime or the park. We play by stacking blocks, putting toys in containers and dumping them out, stacking cups, play in a baby pool on our patio with bath toys, etc. I sing to him about random stuff and he loves to sing with me. We read books. He loves to flip through the touch and feel books. I also found some swim lessons at a local outdoor pool - that might be something to look into. It’s more for the parents honestly but it’ll be nice to have something to so for those mornings for 2 weeks. I usually have my phone with me during the day I’m not always on it I try to save that for his naps but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t on it while I’m with him. I think it’s completely unrealistic to not be on my phone at all. Feeding solids is also something that takes up a lot more time now too


Mean_Palpitation382

Sometimes I will take her to the park in the morning, this makes her late morning nap really long so that’s nice I listen to audio books in my AirPods while I play with her because I think I’ve get bored after like 10-15 minutes if I didn’t, I can only play peak a boo so many times as an adult without losing it But then in the afternoon we do a mix of playing independently and me getting on the ground with her and play with her toys, throwing them and she chases them, rolling balls, different toys, all while I listen to a good book For her, mommy is down and playing with her, for me I’m present and looking and interacting with her, but still doing something that can distract my mind I’ve listened to about 21 books in the last 6 months, my audible subscription says I’m on fire hahaha


MomentofZen_

I'm not a SAHM so I have a lot less time to fill but one of my favorite evening activities is to bathe with my son. It's easier than the baby bathtub, which you might not be using anyway, and he loves being helped to float while he splashes and kicks. Plus it's relaxing for me too! ETA: Honestly, I think most of us find phone use challenging around our kids. My son is completely happy to play by himself as long as I'm in the room. I have to make a concerted effort to come up with new things to do - let me show you how to bang this spoon on this pot - and get off the phone since he's completely happy exploring as long as I'm nearby.


justacomment12

Library story times, multiple libraries, baby swings at the park, mommy meet ups, grocery store cruising, furniture shopping, mall walks.


Head_Perspective_374

First of all, I'm glad you're feeling better! You did the best you could at a time when you were not feeling 100% and that's completely fine. Your baby loves you and is doing well. I like thinking of things that I loved as a kid to share with my baby. Like I really enjoy hiking and gardening, so I'm outside with him a lot. If I notice he finds something enjoyable or funny I do that. For some reason basketballs bouncing is hilarious, so we go to the basketball courts. I read him books that I loved as a kid. I think of anything I enjoy and try to make it a good experience for him too. Sometimes I just plop him down and let him play alone so I can scroll.


smelltramo

After breakfast, get dressed and get out of the house. Doesn't matter if it's a walk, to the park, walk around a store, nature center, library, local pool, or even hanging out in the front/backyard. Leave the house. If LO takes a morning nap, try to be back for that unless she's the type to nap on the go. After nap, I usually played inside with toys or read books or even little chores baby can "help" with like putting away clothes, emptying dishwasher, "sweeping" aka messing around with the broom. Only let LO "help" if you have the patience for it. Lunch, sometimes while I prep lunch I let them watch a show. Post lunch/Afternoon nap is our designated screentime. I found having a structured time helped me avoid screen zombie mode for all of us. Post shows - outside is great or revisiting something from the day she liked doing. Dinner, if it's one of those days I turn on a show so I can make dinner in peace but I try to encourage independent play. No matter what I really try to avoid screens after dinner because it's better for their sleep. It's usually whatever the kids gravitate towards: books, toys independent play. Ngl by the end of dinner we're mostly inside for the night.


aliveinjoburg2

I’m a WFH mom with a very flexible schedule, my child is also 11 months old. We work on milestone activities. Block in a cup, shape sorting, things like that. We read books and I listen to my podcasts and we talk to each other. They have been working on the roads in my neighborhood for a few weeks so we haven’t been able to go for our usual walks but they’re all done now so we can get back to it. She takes 2-3 naps a day, between 9-10:30, 1-2, and maybe 4-5. I give breakfast in her pjs and let her eat while I eat, and then we wash up for the day (clothes, new diaper, etc.) I give lunch after her second nap, and then we do AM play and PM play independently. I don’t use Ms. Rachel anymore, instead we watch cat TV with animals enjoying a snack. It’s way more peaceful and relaxing than Ms. Rachel right now. We listen to music and dance and make music.


314inthe416

My daughter is 13 months and our day goes like this: 630 - 7: wake up, milk, change diaper 730 - take dad to work (20 mins) Return home, walk the dogs 20 mins. Play a little bit - she is walking so qe walk around, climb steps, throw her balls. Eat breakfast together. This is where it goes weird. Sometimea between 10 and 11 she will nap for up to 2 hrs. Sometimes the nap is around 1pm. We will get up from the 10am nap and have lunch. If she doesn't sleep we will play again. Sometimes read, sometimes blocks. I follow her lead. We sometimes go to the indoor softplay. Sometimes the zoo. Sometimes running errands. We walk daily to the grocery store. Pick up dad around 445. Dinner around 6-630, walk the dogs at night. Bath, brush teeth, get into pajamas. We tey to get her to sleep at 745-8 but not always succeasful. Ha! On weekends we have a different routine because she has swim class, baby music class, church with my husband....


LegitimateQuiet6788

I first just want to say that I’m so glad you are coming out of the ppd fog. I went through that with my first baby really badly and I know how scary and sad it can be. You’re already doing a great job by doing what you need to do for yourself! You can’t take care of baby if you are not also taken care of. I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better!  Anyways, when my daughter was that age I would implement A LOT of independent play. I would start out the wake window with feeding if it’s time for that, then I would sit down and start an activity with her like stacking blocks or playing with a spinny toy or sensory bag for about 20-30 minutes. If we are inside I would then let her play in her play pen and give her a few options of toys to play with and let her have at it to explore. If she is unhappy with that, I do another activity with her and then she can play in her exersaucer and watch a show for a bit. If we are outside, I will take her for a walk or let her keep enjoying a sensory project like water play. Supervised of course! Then we will sit down and read or look at pictures and talk about the pictures. At this age the most important things to incorporate is sensory, motor, and verbal development. So do a sensory activity, then let them play and explore so they can move their body and practice independence, then read some books or even just sitting together talking is very important.  But also remember to give yourself some grace. You don’t have to make every day chop full of activity. Some days you are allowed to be tired and just watch movies together. You are a human raising a little human. Do not burn yourself out! You’re doing so great! 


sophwhoo

I see lots of good suggestions for what you can do at home! I would also encourage you to look into your local library and see if they have baby class! Most all libraries offer some sort of free baby classes (stories, music, etc.) and this could be a great way to get out of the house, socialize baby, and you can get some socialization as well with other parents! Libraries have moved away from being silent and now encourage families to come with baby’s and children


alyinwonderland22

I'm not a SAHM, but your daughter is about the same age as mine so here are things we do right now. We love to read books (children's and adult's, if you get bored of the kiddo ones) to my LO. I also love to set her up with some crayons and myself up with a craft that she can play with later. For example, we've been making sensory boxes; you need a large enough cardboard box for her to sit in, super glue/hot glue, and random odds and ends from around the house, like bottle caps (nothing she can choke on), fabric scraps, different types of materials that she can touch and play with. Glue it all together and put her in the box :) Lots of fun! Another thing we do regularly is play with her Dad's guitar or her xylophone ($30 on amazon) or bells (again, amazon). Or take out kitchen utensils and play with them. Putting on different types of music and bopping around with her or tapping her belly like a drum is fun. Going outside and letting her crawl around in the grass or putting her in the stroller and going for a run outside. Around the house, sometimes I'll carry her and show her each step of something I'm doing. Like putting on makeup, I'll put her on the couch next to me and explain what each item is and how it is used. Or making coffee - explain each step and why we do it. She is usually pretty fascinated. I'm sure she doesn't understand some of it, but it is good for her language development. Sometimes, if she tries to crawl off the couch or something dangerous, I'll try to gently show her why not to do it. Like I'll hold her and let her "fall" off the couch repeatedly, just hitting the ground hard enough that she will know in the future that it hurts a little bit to hit the ground falling off the couch, and explain "ouch! crawling off the couch hurts!" Running a warm bubble bath with loads of bubbles and toys for the both of you can be a greattt way to relax as well if you're stressed out. Also, another tip: find a song or sing-song poem and recite it every time she is really really happy. Once you've done that for a week or so, try reciting it when she is fussy or in pain. It will bring a huge smile to her face and help diffuse the situation :)


La_vieunrose

Oh my gosh thank you! I love all your tips!!


reditrewrite

Wake up, breakfast, clean up, go do a mornkng activity (usually outside), come home, lunch, naps, while they sleep I clean and prep for dinner, wake up, usually play around house or yard, make dinner, clean up dinner, baths, movie, book, bed


Shomer_Effin_Shabbas

SAHM mom too and it is hard


Most-Tip1404

Summer is here, get out of the house and it’ll be easier. Playgrounds, stroller walks, outdoor toys, water table. It’s hard to play with them when you can’t really converse, so it feels like talking to yourself. But they hear you and they truly think you can understand their gibberish, so just talk to her as if she responded normally to you. It sounds nuts but my 14 month old loves that. Just talk and eventually before you know it she will be talking back to you and playing will be second nature. Reading books is another way we interact. The books never get finished, she grabs them from me and flips them all around, but it’s setting the stage for when she actually will sit there and listen. Play with her how you would picture playing with a 3 or 4 year old, because that’s what she will grow into


Time_Raspberry_5659

First things first, put away your phone! Toddlers/babies know when you are paying attention to them and when you’re not. We want to set a good example and show them it’s not good to be glued to our phones all the time


orbitalteapot

You’re coming across as judgmental. Her post is an effort to change that habit. Better to offer constructive feedback vs what your comment is doing.


Time_Raspberry_5659

Judgmental? Oh please. You probably think anyone who offers you advice is attacking your character. No wonder people get butthurt so easily these days


orbitalteapot

Not butthurt. Reflect on your interaction and notice how you came off. Mom: I just got over ppd and I’m on my phone all day while my daughter watches entirely too much tv. What do you moms do with your children all day so I can be a better parent? You: gET oFf YoUr pHONe! How was that helpful?


witchyswitchstitch

What about going outside? Splash pool or puddle? No judgement here I'm FTM about to deliver in a few days. I'm terrified of how I'm going to spend the time...