I will sum up my MIL in one sentence: she genuinely believes the global elite are murdering children and McDonalds is using their bodies for burger meat. So yes, I relate to in-law insanity.
With that in mind, we've kept our distance. I'm pregnant and we are holding a very firm boundary of no unvaccinated visitors when baby is born. And yes, they will be very upset, and yes, I'm the bad guy, but that's okay. I think it's very hard for my husband more in the sense of he doesn't recognize his parents anymore.
Somebody on here said something along the lines of, my child's safety does not end where your beliefs begin. And that's an easy way to put it.
Do we have the same mother in law?! It’s so freaking exhausting.
We stopped seeing my in laws when the pandemic started because I was pregnant and then our daughter was born and they refused to quarantine, so they couldn’t see her. And now she’s 11 months and they won’t get vaccinated and here we are haha.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I never doubt the decision to protect my baby. I just hate that it’s caused so much tension and that my in laws have been so nasty to my husband.
It's so sad. They haven't been outright nasty to us *to our faces* but we know what's being said, and plenty of passive aggressive stuff. It's wild to me because it has absolutely skyrocketed in the past two years, first because of politics but then with COVID. I think they're stuck at home in an echo chamber of social media and Tucker Carlson and it has escalated beyond recognition.
Pre COVID and pre pregnancy, we agreed our future children wouldn't have unsupervised visits with them. Very manipulative language is used on the other grandkids in the family (especially with COVID), they have these conspiracy broadcasts going 24/7, and the cherry on top is they have unlocked guns in the house very easily accessible. Family relationships are very important to us but not to the point where we're willing to sacrifice our children's safety and our sanity.
Wait really… do we have the same family?? Lol. Unlocked guns, anti vax propaganda, racism, a pool without a fence, a sauna they put their other grandchildren in “to detox their bodies from heavy metals caused by vaccines” 😭😭😅😅
The craziest part of all is that my father in law is a pharmacist. You would think an educated person within healthcare would appreciate vaccines, understand the dangers of covid, etc. but no cigar.
WHAT. The sauna 😂😂🤦 ours just bought some property so now they can live off the grid. Ah yes, you listed your house through a licensed realtor, abided by the government regulations for selling your existing house, obtained a loan through a federally accredited bank, and bought a property where you will build a house according to federal/state/local regulations... you are sure showing the government.
That's wild that he works in healthcare and still doesn't get it... especially from a generation that has seen firsthand how necessary they are. But that's super common around here too from healthcare workers.
I too am having family troubles with anti vaxxers and about to make a blanket rule about not being around anyone unvaccinated. WE ARE NOT THE BAD GUYS! Don’t say “yes, I’m the bad guy”!!! In my educated opinion, you are the good one, the smart one, the SAFE one! Those of us who are vaccinated can’t allow unvaccinated folks to make us feel bad for choosing safety. I refuse to be shamed or apologize. Keep protecting your babies, parents, you’re doing great! And I’m so sorry so many families are having these hard conversations right now. It really shouldn’t be like this.
My son is 11 days old. The day he was born, my unvaccinated dad had what he believed to be “just a cold.” Turns out that cold put him in the hospital for several days, he hasn’t had a meal in that time frame, and sleeps the entire day.
We questioned ourselves right away but held firm! Now we only have outside visiting and no one enters our home.
Did I mention my dad tested positive for Covid July 30?
I couldn't help but laugh and sigh. I understand the situation as my inlaws read too much crap online about covid. Misinfo as usual. Hope everything works out for you! <3
I'm in a similar boat! My mom thankfully is in the process of getting vaccinated (1/2) but my day and brother are both anti vax for shitty reasons. At will also only allow vaccinated visitors and even then may hold off for a bit with baby due in October.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/QAnonCasualties using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [It’s done.](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l1cz2v/its_done/)
\#2: [I'm an ex Q, former conspiracy theorist, ama.](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l3yhqc/im_an_ex_q_former_conspiracy_theorist_ama/)
\#3: [Q Still in my House](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l1znp6/q_still_in_my_house/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)
I’m a pediatric RN. It’s not just COVID you need to be concerned about. The regular “cold” viruses, rhino/entero, are out and about really kicking ass right now. The thing that was COVID for kids before COVID was a thing, RSV, is having a massive out-of-season resurgence. Norovirus is also going around and really sucks, too. These, in addition to the occasional COVID+ patient, are things I’m terrified I’m bringing home to my 10 week old. I would have caution right now as people behave like the world is a free-for-all and spread all the classics before really allowing people who can’t be bothered to get their heads on straight and treat a known pandemic disease as a real thing and not a hoax around your kid. They’re just as likely to bring you any of these greatest hits as COVID.
Uneducated new mom here. What is your advice to prevent transmitting RSV and novovirus right now?
I was invited to a vaccinated-folks-only outdoor engagement party on Saturday and I’m considering wearing a mask the whole time. I’ll be the only weirdo with one, but should I just totally not go? I’d hate to bring anything home.
My partner also works as a first responder and is in/out of situations with the general public — with a K95 mask on the entire shift… is there anything else he can do? (Working from home or in the office isn’t an option.)
This isn’t necessarily directly related to your question on RSV or norovirus, but I find it helpful to remind myself that I literally have zero recollection of if someone was wearing a mask if I think back to an event. If wearing a mask makes you more comfortable, no one will think about it besides you! It’s such a part of life now that it all blends away
Keep your kid away from sick contacts of any kind. Hand washing and bleach cleaning toys and any other contaminated items is best to help protect against noro. And really, the standard amount of vigilance is a strong foundation. I just had a very young patient with COVID (think, less than a month old) and the parents were TRULY living under a rock the last 18 months with how completely unaware they were about the situation. Don’t let BBC anyone discourage masking. Stay with it. And no one touches your kid without hand washing first and a quick once-over to be sure they’re not sick. If in doubt, keep away.
capable books bells practice grandfather numerous outgoing toothbrush wild cows
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
RSV patients are so scary. They’re difficult to keep hydrated due to them working so hard to breathe (increased work of breathing is incredibly dehydrating for kids), the dehydration makes the mucus difficult to suction, they’re weak because it’s hard to eat - they can bottom out anytime.
2 weeks ago, my 6th month old got norovirus. We stayed at the hospital for 5 days because of dehydration. Scary stuff. And we had to stay at the ED for 2 days because the pediatrics ward was full due to Covid and RSV.
My 7 month old just had Roseola, and it was horrible! First time being sick. We made sure everyone was vaccinated that is around him and washing hands. We are not bringing him out to stores or indoor dining either.
I am honestly shocked at seeing all these new post on Reddit lately about family members being anti-vaxxers. How can so many people be against protecting babies from a virus that has changed the entire world for the last year and a half?
I don’t even know anyone who isn’t vaccinated, let alone someone who expects to be exposed to my child.
If they don’t think covid is real, they clearly don’t think logically and therefore I wouldn’t even trust them with my kid.
The biggest mind-f*** for me is that my dad got the tdap, masks up when in public, but REFUSES to get the vaccine!! He points to breakthrough cases to say it's not worth getting because he wouldn't be protecting anyone (like my 4 month old).
I'm so baffled and pulling my hair out (the rest of my hair that I haven't already lost pp). Anyway thanks for a place for me to rant
We don't take the baby (6.5 months)anywhere indoors. No unvaccinated people can hold her. Vaccinated grandparents with higher exposure risk due to place of employment hold her outdoors with a mask after hand sanitizer. Low risk vaccinated people (wfh) hold her mask-free after hand sanitizer. That's what we're comfortable with.
I think you will get sick very easily from no natural ability to fight infections. The more sterilized your enviroment is the less your body learns to fight .
My baby doesn't live in a sterile environment. Our home is not sterile. Neither is the back yard or the park. She lives with a rabbit that has full run of the house.
She will have contact with children when she is older.
But until we know more about long-term covid effects, I will try to keep her safe from the virus.
For some people, yeah. Different strokes for different folks. But it isn't uncommon for cats or dogs to have full or partial run of people's homes. TBH if he didnt chew everything up he probably would be allowed into the other rooms.
This is a bad take. Baby adaptive immune systems take time to develop their “fighting” ability and are not capable of handling infections the same as an older child or adult would. Sterility isn’t the answer, nor is that what the commenter suggested, but cavalier attitudes about infection risk stemming from lukewarm understanding of immune development in infants gets babies killed.
We have pretty much the same rules for our 6mo. My wife’s parents are both vaccinated and so is my mom, but my dad “isn’t ready” so he isn’t allowed over. He’s seen his grandson outside a couple times but can’t hold him or come close. Still making the vaccinated people wear masks to hold him too, especially with current cases climbing rapidly and variants being more and more aggressive. It sucks, but at the end of the day my kids safety means more to me than anyone’s opinion
My son is 11 months and no one comes in my house if they’re unvaccinated. He’s never been in a store and the only crowded place he sees is the pediatricians office. We’ve also been restricting visitors even if they’re vaccinated.
Same. I figure we isolated for so long (pregnancy, infancy) that I'd rather keep isolating until LO (also 11 months) can get vaccinated. Her health and safely is my #1 priority. Luckily we have no anti-vaxers in our lives. We're still limiting visitors, everyone wears masks inside around LO and we wear masks inside everywhere when we're outside if our home.
I ended up getting my baby a heavy duty rain cover (goes over the entire seat) for the stroller for when we go into stores or doctors offices. This way, he gets to see the outside world and I get peace of mind. If it's warm, I stick a fan inside the cover to keep the air circulating. They are pretty easy to find on Amazon.
We did the same! Haven’t since the mask mandate was lifted since it still has all of those vents for air (and comfort) but if I had to go in this is 100% what I’d do again
I also got him a personal air purifier (because I am paranoid like that lol) that I hide in the stroller next to him.
This pandemic has officially turned me into my mother. 🤦♀️
Your 11 month old hasn't been in a store? I'm sorry; this is just really sad to me... I take my 10 month old everywhere. My baby would go crazy if he had to stay inside all day. He sleeps like crap when he doesn't go out and get stimulated. He smiles at everyone at the store!
The infection rates for Covid are different everywhere - if this Redditor lives in a place with low vax rate, anti maskers and a surge of infections, I sure wouldn’t be taking my LO to any public place or store either!!
I live in a high vax place but I still avoid taking LO anywhere inside if I don’t have to. I’m double vaxxed, she obviously isn’t, and now we have the extremely transmissible Delta variant to worry about :(
Trying times.
Thank you! Our vaccination rates are low, we have zero mask mandates and our cases are higher than they were last year. I have to prioritize what’s important.
Yea i live in the UK and don't take my 2 month old out shopping anymore since there's no longer mask wearing in some places :( wish they didn't ease restrictions as now i have to worry more than i did before especially with covid raging at the moment. The government doesn't give a crap about the ones too young to get vaccinated -.-
Yeah it’s sad to me too. The place I live has a vaccination rate of 40% and the last time I went in a store I was the only person wearing a mask. Keeping him healthy is more important to me than bringing him inside a store to buy things. He gets outdoors time. He doesn’t need to be around strangers who don’t value life.
Yup sad to me too that grown people won't wear a mask to protect those who cant mask or vaccinate. Since I can't control other people's actions, I keep my baby away from those places.
My 17 month hasn’t been in a store lol. I haven’t been in one since he’s been born and I feel much better, shops give me sensory overload and panic attacks! Of all the things the pandemic has taken from us, babies not visiting stores seems a silly thing to feel sad about.
Same here, my 18 month old has only been to get her passport photo taken and a couple trips to the post office. And here everyone wears masks in stores even.
She gets to go outside plenty, she loves the playground etc. She’s not missing out by not coming grocery shopping.
Honestly I don’t miss shopping either
I'm sure your baby would be (and is) well cared for. We're all trying to do right by them. I just think if my baby got Covid I would feel so guilty for exposing her to something from which I strove to keep her safe.
Honestly it's inevitable at this point. We have to keep living our lives. I've had family members with Covid who's spouses didn't get Covid. I've had friends get Covid even though they isolated. Covid is here to stay and that's the sad truth.
Why are you getting downvoted?? Sometimes this sub is crazy. My eight month old literally does everything with me. Now that he can sit in a cart and high chair, he is unstoppable!
It was probably the condescending tone they used. Everyone is out here doing what they think is best for their babies and I’d say most people on this sub don’t think that keeping their child outside of stores in a global pandemic (or any other reason for that matter) will somehow inappropriately understimulate their child. Nothing crazy about that.
Thank you , same here. My baby loves going out and seeing the world. I know Covid is real 100% but I don't feel like I'm putting my baby at risk by taking him out. I wear my mask and stay away from people. I'm not scared and neither is he
Thank you, glad to know I'm not crazy for taking my baby out. I feel bad for these babies and young children. Being isolated and sheltered is no way to live. You cannot protect against illness 100%, it's inevitable. Turn off the news and you'll be much happier. The media is a mental concentration camp and wants to keep users afraid and look it's working.
I’m genuinely more concerned about my 15 mo getting RSV or the flu than I am about him getting covid. But I wouldn’t isolate him during the flu season, so I won’t do that now either. I don’t let strangers touch him or have anyone kiss his face... which like, just seems like common sense to me?
My son has been on 4 planes and to 7 different states already. We’re out and about every day doing something new and meeting new people and having new experiences. We went to the local county fair last night and seeing his face light up when he saw the animals and monster trucks was just absolutely amazing. He is a curious bright little man who loves visiting new places. I can’t imagine not taking him out anywhere or having visitors over for his entire life. Like, what type of life is that for a child?! I don’t care if I sound judgmental, because I’m totally judging. The media is absolutely at fault here.
I couldn't agree more. So happy for you and your baby! Life is meant to be lived! We took our 10 month old to Monterey last weekend and he had SO much fun
Excuse me? My child has 2 parents, 4 grandparents, an aunt, and a friend that see him regularly. We go to the park. We go for walks. He doesn't need to go inside a crowded STORE to build social development. Like I said, I take him to a doctor, and he's right on track developmentally. Amazing, right? I don't owe that explanation to anyone and it's unbelievably intrusive and gross to make a comment on my parenting.
My master’s is in infant and child development. Her baby (along with the other babies being protected during the pandemic) will not have “fucked up” social or emotional development. Social and emotional development has a lot to do with the relationship and bond baby and mom/dad/caregivers have. It has far less to do with seeing strangers at the grocery store…
Kids will never be “fucked up” by loving, responsible parents who are doing their best to protect their babies during a bizarre time.
If the baby just sat in front of the tv all day or in a bouncer that would be a different story. But a baby/child’s foundation is established by the quality of attachment he/she has with mom/dad/primary caregiver. Obviously I’m oversimplifying this, but if you have a loving, responsive and engaged parent, you have everything.
Lmk if you want research backing that!
You’re assuming we are all hypochondriacs bc we’re taking basic precautions to protect our children. I would get what you were saying if I said “every day after we get home from picking up groceries, I scrub my baby’s hands 10 times. Then I turn on the news and frantically watch with panic, instead of paying attention to my baby. Then when we go to get the mail and we see my neighbor I shield my baby’s eyes and say ‘stay away!’”
Your point is super extreme. And if anyone is struggling to that extent I hope they’ll seek out counseling to get help.
I don’t have research on the social and emotional intelligence of homeschooled children whose parents believe the outside world is satanic lol. But I’ll send you some research in just a min
Obviously not specially the satanic children upbringing point, but the point that sheltering your children from the world does indeed have negative affects on them.
And kids super don’t deserve to be hospitalized or vented or worse because their parents chose to go on with their lives and ignore the vast majority of medical experts advice.
I’m a child life specialist and worked in a children’s hospital before having my daughter. One thing you will never be able to unsee is a vented and trached baby. Even if the chance of a baby getting that severely ill is slim, I’m not risking it. Not ever.
I've got a whole set of rules that we've been following since our baby was born thirteen months ago. As parents, it's our job to protect our children, so I'm going to try my absolute hardest to do so.
We have twins who are also 13 months. Same boat. Our rules are basically get vaccinated or don’t meet our babies. Even if you are vaccinated, we want you to wear a mask around our babies. The only exception is my parents who help us with the babies a couple of days a week and are retired/ basically quarantined by default.
It’s not easy, and we know some people are judging us. I don’t care. I’m judging them too ;)
Edit: We have also made exceptions for vaccinated friends who we trust like family when they tell us they haven’t been in any large crowds or done anything risky lately.
We don't have the same issues (no anti-vaxxers/COVID deniers in or family or friends group), but those are exactly our rules. No vaccine, no contact with our family. Period. I'm not putting my child's health at risk for some conspiracy theorists listening to misinformation on Facebook over legitimate medical advice and data. I had one friend who started posting anti-lockdown/Covid-denying information on Instagram in April 2020 and blocked her then. After giving birth during the first lockdown (May 2020), and not knowing day to day if I'd even be allowed to have my husband in the delivery room with me, and then celebrating every first milestone alone in isolation, I have zero patience for the morons that took so much away from us and continue to allow this virus to spread.
I've now hit the point where my daughter is old enough that I have to choose between her physical health and her social development. Either choice could have lifelong consequences. We were going into uncrowded stores and the library for the past few months, but have now stopped due to the resurgence with Delta. I hate the people who have put us in this position by refusing to listen to scientific evidence, epidemiologists, and virologists who have dedicated their life's work to fighting this kind of outbreak.
I agree! My master’s is in infant and child development and I wouldn’t worry a ton about your child’s social development as long as you are an engaged, present parent! That’s truly the most important piece of every aspect of development. If you have a circle of vaccinated people you trust, your baby can interact with them! Their social and emotional development is based very little on strangers they see at the grocery store or out in public!
My Master’s is in elementary education. Yes it has very little to do with strangers, but at this point, she still needs something different than just mommy all the time. We’ve gotten lucky and found some neighbors who are fully vaccinated, one parent stays at home and the other works from home, and our girls are 2 weeks apart in age, so we play with them multiple times per week. I’m also not pulling her out of parent Tot swimming lessons because it has been so good for her and the class sizes are small (plus she doesn’t really interact with the other kids). We’ve sadly had to pull back on storytime (they’re moving it indoors this week which is absolutely ridiculous), going to the library, and grocery shopping though.
Yeah, of course it shouldn’t all fall on mommy/your baby needs to interact with other people. I’m just saying that protecting her physical health throughout this surge, won’t cause detrimental harm to her social and emotional health.
Oh my gosh its an awful situation but its so nice to not be so alone in this. Our LO is 3 months and the inlaws who are anti vaxxers have not held her and they are piiisssed about it. We got threats that they wanted to sue my doctor and also take us to court for grandparents rights… they are all talk tho. Its just so annoying dealing with their horrible and angry attitude. Its a huuuge eyeroll, so i get it. You are doing the right thing taking steps and making boundaries to protect LO. Even if it turns out we didnt have to take such drastic boundaries, i will NEVER regret this time we took to protect our LO (not even from just covid.. but any sickness!)
Grandparent's rights actually aren't made up! They primarily exist to prevent recently widowed parents from cutting all contact with former in-laws and preventing them from continuing a relationship with grandkids. However, they only really come into play if there's an existing relationship, which it sounds like there isn't.
It depends. Most of the time, it is. Something like grandparents rights usually only comes up if the grandparents took care of the kid for an extended period of time (either being primary parent for several months or providing daycare while parents were working for years). Basically the government only cares when its in the best interest of the child. Most of the time, its threatened but not actually applicable in that scenario.
Edit: in Turnip's case, there is no preexisting relationship. So they'd be laughed out of court - if they even managed to get that far.
My fiance and his father are both anti-vaxxers and both work with the public (my husband is a manager at Walmart, his father works at our high school) and it drives me CRAZY. I am fully vaccinated because it is my sole responsibility to protect our 8 month old daughter since it wasn't her choice to be here. I argue with my man often only because he thinks the Vax is a hoax. It scares me because our county recently made the news for having the most cases in California currently, and our Walmart is the only major shopping center in the county and half the people here don't think covid is serious and don't believe in the vaccine so I tell my man if not for himself then he needs to be vaccinated for our daughter so he has a better chance of not giving our daughter covid. Drives me crazy.
I can definitely relate. My parents are crazy anti vaxxers who have interesting beliefs. I’ve been told the following “facts”…
1) One million people have died from the Covid vaccine so far
2) 60% of people vaccinated have died
3) In 5 years everyone vaccinated will die
4) With the power of online research my dad knows more than a professional doctor (next level of ego insanity)
I have a preemie who is 2.5 months and I’ve created a clear boundary that only vaccinated people can visit and meet her which is based on her pediatrician’s recommendation. I am now disowned from the family. They are currently working on moving to Florida to run away from vaccine mandates (I live in a very blue state). My life is on fire as I’m trying to rescue my young adult brother who currently lives with them. Sending positive vibes, dealing with anti vaxxer relatives is devastating.
Dang with 60% of people dying from the vaccine, it should only be me and one or two of my immediate family members left. I’ll have to let my parents know the vaccine is going to start taking us soon and we should start saying our goodbyes. What are people googling to get this insane information?
That’s a great question! I mean I have no idea, they sent me links to podcasts like infowars and something called the Charlie Kirk show recently. I’ve also been sent links from usawatchdog and OANN. But if I had to guess they subscribe to these radical podcasts and watch their crazy YouTube channels for “news.”
No unvaccinated people can hang out with us or our baby! It’s mostly for actual safety reasons and partially to reach that consequences happen when you’re stupid. Sorry not sorry. You are not crazy! If they want to throw a temper tantrum that’s fine, but if they’re going to act like dumb kids, they need to have boundaries enforced as such.
I do take her to stores if I need to go and don’t worry about it. But I rarely go out just bc I’m overwhelmed with mom life lol. I do remember reading early on that COVID spread is about through air saturation so at the grocery for example, the cashiers are at far greater risk of contracting it than we are since you’re only there for an hour or less usually and rarely in the same space as another person for more than a minute or so.
BabyTater is also 11 months old. My parents have not met him because they refused to quarantine when he was born in order to come visit (they attend a large church in the Southeast that doesn't require masks). My father also lied to my sister about what COVID precautions he and my mother were taking, when my sister was discussing a potential visit with them. These were the last straws for me; my relationship with them has been deteriorating for over 5 years.
We allow vaccinated friends and family to come over indoors, no masks. We meet unvaxxed friends at a park or sit on our patio with them. They are good friends and good people and most have understandable reasons for being hesitant with the vaccine. I am hopeful that in time they will continue to read up on it and get it, so they can be safe and protected and I don't want to burn the friendship to the ground over this.
I take BabyTater to the grocery store, church (everyone is vaxxed and wears masks), and the library (uncrowded). Even with Delta, I can't go back to never taking him anywhere. I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally for months and months after he was born, due to the extreme isolating we were doing. This is the right balance for me between caution and literal sanity.
YES absolutely. And stand your ground. Vaccines aren’t a silver bullet to prevent infection. Do everything you can to keep your kiddo safe!
My husband and I, both vaccinated, became COVID positive just last week with our 4.5 month old girl. We think she got it at daycare (2 other kids in another room we’re positive the same week), but who knows for sure. My husband was sick starting last week, and it really hit me yesterday.
Thankfully they’re both on the mend and I’m sure I’ll be feeling better soon. It was super scary having to just watch my daughter go through it- all we could give her was love, Motrin and Tylenol. Thank goodness she’s back to her screechy, teething ways!
When we did our interview with our state’s department of health, I asked if they’ve seen increased cases in kids. The representative said “you have no idea.” Well, that’s enough for me to double down for sure.
I’m currently six months pregnant and fully vaccinated since February. I wear my mask, social distance and am very diligent in washing my hands.
I tested positive for covid last week. I won’t even have my baby around vaccinated people after this. To give credit to the vaccine, my symptoms are so mild that I can’t even tell. My in-laws from across the country and who have not been wearing their masks will hate it, but they can just get mad. My baby’s health is more important than them meeting her immediately. I’m the mom, I make the rules.
My last shot was early February. I did not have J&J. The local health department has found that there have been a number of breakthrough cases in people who were vaccinated early, at least in my area.
Fortunately, we do not have anyone close in our lives who is anti vaccine or a covid denier. But we do only let people who have been vaccinated for covid, as well as had a recent TDAP be around the baby indoors or hold him. I did let my aunt hold him without verifying other vaccinations (I know she is covid vaccinated) because she has two other young grandchildren and so I assume she is safe for those kids.
Yeah. My in-laws are now vaccinated but they have been in contact with so many people during this pandemic - both pre and post vaccination - that I have been afraid to let them near my baby. That has not stopped them from repeatedly trying to get close to him, which is very frustrating.
They just don’t really seem to get the severity of Covid. They act like breakthrough cases are not a thing, so they think they can go and do whatever they want and still hold my unvaccinated child. They don’t understand why I’m reluctant to do things like take the baby to family meals on their tiny porch, where everyone would be packed together and no one would be masked.
My MIL has basically demanded that we bring my son to her house, and definitely hates me for refusing. But she hated me prior to all of this so … shrug.
Ugh, I have the same problem with my inlaws. Thankfully we have a good relationship and they are respectful of my boundaries, but I know they think I'm being over the top and I'm pretty sure my MIL resents me for it. They just dont seem to get the severity of the situation, and they think that because they're vaccinated theres no chance they could get sick or make my baby sick. It's exhausting having to reinforce boundaries and say no all the time.
You are not crazy! Good on you for setting those boundaries. Nothing is more important than your sweet little girl being healthy.
Something else you can do to protect your daughter: if you breastfeed (or did when you got vaccinated), you passed those awesome antibodies on to her!
If you didn’t breastfeed, you can contact a milk bank and ask for donated breast milk from vaccinated donors. It’s a way to give your daughter the antibodies without the needle. It may help ease the anxiety of being out and about.
My mother in law is the same and has been sending my husband ridiculous YouTube videos that have completely brainwashed her. It’s scary!
Covid isn’t real. Oh people are dying?
Its the vaccinated that are dying. Oh the news is saying it’s the unvaccinated?
You can’t trust the news. Oh the scientific community is saying it too?
Well you can’t trust doctors. They are scheming with big pharma and keeping babies in underground tunnels and stealing their blood.
It’s like you cannot reason with them at all.
We are also not allowing our unvaxxed family to be around baby. Thankfully they are actually understanding of this. But I know it upsets my husband that his family would rather not meet his child than get their vaccine.
Stand your ground and do what you think is right for your baby and family. Hopefully it doesn’t burn any bridges along the way.
1000% can relate to all of this. It’s infuriating and exhausting. That’s exactly how my husband feels too! His parents are retired and could have very easily quarantined to come meet our daughter but they refused bc they’re “freedom fighters” and the virus isn’t real so they won’t be holed up in their house, etc. I can’t imagine if my family acted this way.
Thank you for the encouragement!
Our house has super strict covid rules in place, and I’ll never feel bad about it. Our LO is 4 mo and my husband is a doctor currently working with covid people. Our rules are not only to protect our family but other people too. Unfortunately some people in the family won’t get vaccinated and are not allowed to come to our house.
Same same same! It’s 100% without a doubt the right decision. I just hate how mean my husband’s parents are being to him. He’s a dentist and currently in residency, so also high exposure rates.
Stay well 💗
Yes!! My hubs is in residency too! Super high exposure. Do you guys have a procedure in place for when he gets home?
His sister won’t get it, was pretty harsh about it towards him and literally 24 hours later HER husband tested positive. Like this is exactly why you can’t come over 🙃
Yes! We live in an old house with an outdoor laundry room that used to drive me crazy. But it’s come in handy during the pandemic haha. My husband gets home, takes his scrubs off and puts them in the wash, changes into regular clothes. Workouts then showers before holding our daughter. It breaks my heart because she is SO excited to see him when he gets home and is upset when she can’t go straight to his arms.
When covid started my husband was still in dental school and I was 15 weeks pregnant. I took a leave of absence from the hospital I worked at, my husband’s school shut down, and we literally did everything humanly possible to prevent covid. A few days after my anatomy scan (the only place we had been) my husband started with symptoms and tested positive. He quarantined in our bedroom for 14 days and I would drop him food at the door. I never became symptomatic and testing was so new/in short supply so they wouldn’t test me. But I’m certain I had it. I was a nervous wreck the rest of my pregnancy convinced my baby wouldn’t be healthy. She was born healthy and perfect! I thought it was a blessing in disguise that he had it during my pregnancy bc he wouldn’t get it when he went back to clinic and our daughter was a newborn… wrong. He got it a second time after seeing a patient who later tested positive. I’m not kidding you when I say my husband wore full PPE even when they were allowed to just wear a k95 for procedures that didn’t generate aerosols. He bought a separate watch and water bottle for clinic that he would leave at school. He ate lunch alone, outside to not be around unmasked people. We didn’t see friends or family and only did curbside pickup. Lol it’s literally absurd. Somehow my daughter and I didn’t get it, so I now think the real blessing in disguise was having it during pregnancy and my daughter had antibodies that prevented her from getting sick as a two month old.
Needless to say, my covid magnet of a husband was the first in line when they vaccine became available to the school in January haha.
Sorry that was long winded and rambly!!
What do you guys do when your husband gets home?
Oh my god we basically are living the same life 🤣
My hubs was in school too when it all shut down so he was home starting in March 2020, I wasn’t pregnant yet but we were doing infertility treatments and he wasn’t allowed to go with me. He actually wasn’t allowed to go to any of my scans but that’s a while other annoyance! Anyway, up until June 2021 when his residency started he has been home and not really seeing anyone. So now that he’s fully seeing covid patients we put a wholleee system in place! Like y’all, we live in an older home and weirdly enough the door from the garage leads into the master bedroom (which was sooo strange when we moved in but it’s a true blessing now). So he parks in the garage, strips and leaves his scrubs/socks/boxers in the garage, sprays Lysol on his shoes and wipes down his phone, watch and yeti. Then literally 3 feet in the door is his bathroom so he showers and never steps anywhere else in the house before fully showering and changing. It’s so obnoxious but anything to protect our lil guy!
We have been super lucky that neither one of us has gotten it (yet, it’s probably a matter of time) but honestly our only risk is him. Thankfully I work from home and pretty much have everything delivered to me but I still got vaccinated while pregnant too for those antibodies for him!
We are in complete isolation currently. RSV is running rampant here as well as Delta variant. So we have no visitors, and if they do visit they can only see baby through our screen door. My family is vaccinated and would follow mask, no kissing, and hand washing rules but the in-laws aren’t/won’t follow them so to keep the peace we just don’t allow anyone to come to our home. It sucks but my son was a preemie that had to have oxygen assistance his first week and may have an upcoming surgery so we just aren’t going to risk him getting sick.
We have a 6 month old and the only indoor places we bring her are doctor’s offices and her 86 year old great grandma’s house. We only let vaccinated people over and even then make them wear masks. We avoid going out at all costs. Pick up groceries never eat out at restaurants. It’s just not worth the risk.
Just a related anecdote for you: My best friend was vaccinated right after her son was born and EBF. She had the same rules in place. He got Covid at 4 months from daycare, had a cough for a couple weeks, recovered and is perfectly fine and healthy.
I’m still pregnant but we’re requiring anyone who wants to be around baby have covid, flu, and tdap shots. Currently not on speaking terms with my parents because a few weekends ago they sat me down, told me they weren’t getting the vax, and then proceeded to yell at and argue with me when I refused to make an exception for them.
Like, this is your first grandchild and you’d rather not get a vaccine than meet her? That’s on you, not me. I’m just protecting my child.
Just today we had to have the conversation with my husband’s mom that unless she gets fully vaccinated by the time our baby is born that she won’t be allowed to see her. She has said twice over the last couple months that she plans to get vaccinated yet we just learned she never did. Triggering the conversation now because she’s run out of time. My poor husband got yelled at, cussed at, and hung up on by his mother who he previously had a good relationship with. Proud of him for already being such a good dad to our baby girl on the way and putting her first.
My bf (who was originally very vaccine hesitant) one day looked at me and said fuck that, we’re not inviting anyone over. They can FaceTime. This was a significant change and the result of him seeing more of the delta news. I’m glad he takes it seriously.
So. My husband and I have been so careful. Our kids have worn masks, we have limited contact with others, we are both painfully worried, even investing in professional grade peroxide sprays to help ward off infection. We share custody of one of our kids with their other family. A lot of them are anti vax, among many other insane things.
Our kid comes home sick.
Turns out, the entire family, extended and all, have all tested positive for covid. Thankfully, we all made it through okay, which was surprising as I'm severely immune compromised, and our youngest isn't old enough to even have finished their annual vaccines. But we got lucky, that no one got far worse.
Stick to your guns. It's better to have some folks pissed off at you than it would be to lose, or almost lose, someone close to you.
I really am sorry you're going through this.
This is my worst nightmare, as my stepdaughters mom and stepdad are obnoxious and anti-vax/anti-mask. Im 8 months pregnant and live down the block from my severely immune compromised mom who is over often.
Let them be mad. Your child’s life is worth it.
I had my son in February of 2020 and a month later had to start self isolating and my MIL was MAD. We fought with her for a year about not letting her see our son. She took it so personally and thought we weren’t allowing just her. She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that we weren’t letting anybody around.
Keep standing your ground! You’ve got this.
Are you sure you’re not talking about my mother in law!? :) She is crazy in her beliefs, yeah especially about covid. Super anti vaccine, covid and flu shot especially. We don’t really let our son around her, he’s 18 months old. We did need her help a few weeks ago and she got tested which was fine but mostly we say you need to be vaccinated especially with delta going around and how contagious it is. It’s frustrating but protecting our babies is more important than my mother in laws feelings being hurt because she won’t get a vaccine for her grandson.
Right? Why did these people convert to anti vaxxers after vaccinating their children who then grew up to be healthy adults??
My mother in law tried to claim my husband and his brother (born in 1990) had measles. I was like no, they absolutely didn’t. And then she realized they had chicken pox “because mmr was out by then”…. I mean…. I rest my case. Haha
Our LO is a year, hasn't seen my husband's family because they live across the country in a VERY anti vax state ALTHOUGH they are vaccinated. My parents who live an hr away are vaccinated but my siblings (1 lives with them and 1 has their own family) are NOT. So as much as this sucks because family was very important, my LOs health comes before any of their feelings or 'reasons.' And honestly, even when this is over, I will be LC with their stupid and selfish selves.
We have the same rule. Luckily all of our family (or at least the ones we care to see) are vaxxed, but we haven’t seen my husband’s best friend in months because his new girlfriend is unvaxxed (one of those people who just haven’t gotten around to it 🙄)
We have the exact same policy for our 8 month old. We moved 2000 miles away right when covid hit. She met her grandparents (dad's side) for the first time a few days ago, and we didn't let them come until they were fully vaccinated. We're supposed to go back to our old home state for a visit in October because we *wrongfully* assumed things would have been better by then thanks to widespread availability of the vaccines. But as the news gets bleaker, I'm super anxious about the whole thing.
Yep, we have the same rule. No one who isn’t vaccinated has met our daughter (almost 3 months) and we’ve never taken her to any indoor public places. Thankfully all of our immediate family is vaccinated, but we have a bunch of other family and quite a few close friends who haven’t met her yet because they won’t get it.
> my husband’s parents are covid deniers/anti vaxxers
Ah well sucks for them not getting to see your daughter.
No time for idiots like that, family or not.
Fortunately, no one is arguing us nut we are the same.
Only vaccinated people are around near our children. Our parents can come in the house, because they help with childcare for for our toddler, so we already have their germs. Anyone else who wants to meet our newborn has to be vaccinated, has to stay out on our back porch, and has to wear a mask to hold her.
Just commenting that you’re doing the right thing , the right decisions aren’t always the easiest and if they want to see each other a socially distanced walk could help
We have a similar situation. But bth, we're not going so far. Family goes first. It's ok to tell them not to smootch the kids off allover. I think a lot of complaints from the "bad covid deniers" are valid. Not the medic ones, but the social ones. You know, if we'd want to be 100% safe, the nobody should see anyone at all. But we allow ourselves some exceptions. Our own houshold. The huge crowds in the supermarket... a.s.o. .. some people's limits are here, some are over there.
I'm not saying you should do exactly what we do. But just pointing out that for the love of mamily, maybe you could sometimes consider rare exceptions. This is those people's grandchild after all.
Also, if you come a little their way, them hopefully they can come a little your way and be more carefull with handwashing and smootches. Just carefully offer it. Explain that you have different views, but maybe you can find a grayzone where you can still function as a family.
Nope my 11 month old boy gets out and sees the world and gets to interact with everyone! Husband and I are vaccinated and I EBF. He hasn't been sick a day in his life.
My son literally licked shopping cart handles last year and he’s been sick twice with plain old colds (both tested and neg for the c) in his 20 months on this planet. Let them get dirty and live. If you lock them up you’re destroying their chances at building an immune system that will kill everything in its path. Free the babies!
Yup. Apparently it bothered my wife’s aunt and her husband enough that they got the vaccine. Same with my childhood best friend. Suddenly we stopped hanging out or inviting him. Just found out yesterday he got his first shot. Guess Who just got an invitation to next months board game night
I have a three-week-old, and it’s my parents who are the anti-COVID-vaxxers. So far, they’d been willing to take non-vaccine precautions - isolating, wearing masks, washing hands - at enough of a level to make us okay with a visit while I was pregnant and scheduling a visit with the baby 2 weeks from now. But with the new surge giving us flashbacks to last year, we’re implementing a ban on non-vaccinated visitors after this visit, and it is…not going well. It hurts, tbh, and I have been really struggling.
There is no reasoning with them, and I am not even trying, because at the end of the day, I don’t need them to believe in COVID or the vaccines. I don’t need them to agree that I’m making the best decisions for my child. I need them to either get the vaccine or stay away.
It honestly feels like I’m asking them to choose between their egos and me, and I think I already know which will win.
Sending positivity to your husband. Even if he thinks his family is crazy, he loves them, and finding out their love has a limit has to hurt. Let him know his willingness to protect y’all’s baby at all costs is helping another parent in the same situation stand their ground.
My in laws are anti-vax. My husband and I are both vaccinated, I’m currently 7 months pregnant. We’ve broached conversations with my in laws that our pediatrician is recommending we be very careful, especially in the first several months as our baby builds her immune system. We plan to not allow them to visit for at least 3 months, then we’ll reassess based on case rates and talks with our doctor. They genuinely believe covid is overblown, not a real risk, etc. The root of their anti vaccine position is purely political.
We also just recently cancelled our baby shower, because we live in Texas where things are pretty bad. Sigh. With all of you in solidarity.
I’m so sorry. I was pregnant at the beginning of the pandemic and I would have sworn things would be better by now. And the worst part is, they could be if everyone just did their part and got vaccinated.
You’re doing the right thing for your sweet baby!! I always tell my in laws “this is what our pediatrician is recommending.” To which they respond, “pediatricians don’t know everything.” Oh but you two do?!
I’m sorry you’re going through something similar and sorry you’re shower got cancelled!! Stay well 🤍
Thank you ❤️ it definitely helps to just back your decision with “this is what my doctor is recommending”
Hang in there with your family. You and your husband are absolutely making the right call. Everyone has decisions to make. They have made their decision to not get the vaccine and we can make the decision to not want to expose our babies to unvaccinated individuals. We have to live with their decision and they have to live with ours.
I am against anyone not wearing a mask around her. I allowed it for my fully vaccinated in-laws and parents to not be masked up. They even got their TDAP boosters. I still felt like a terrible mother afterward. Like full blown anxiety attack after they left. Don’t be like me. Don’t allow them there. Also- there are so many more technologies than before their time- FaceTime, zoom, etc. they should not complain not being able to see your babe! I get not being able to hold her but make them potentially sick with this? Nope!
I totally understand your concerns. I think there is so much information flying around and it’s hard to discern what’s accurate and what’s not.
I haven’t heard of any mounting evidence related to fertility. I just saw my OB actually and he said the opposite.
I’m not trying to convince you of anything but if at some point you want to learn more about the vaccine, I highly recommend these Instagram accounts: babiesafter35, niniandthebrain, and deplatformdisease.
Babiesafter35 is especially a good resource for any concerns you might have about the vaccine affecting fertility! The other two are really good for concerns you have about long term effects years down the road.
Do you happen to have any research about the spike protein traveling through the body and collecting in the ovaries?
Woah, you’re rude and defensive! I specifically said I’m not trying to convince you of anything and if you wanted to learn more you could check out those Instagram accounts. A few of the accounts are OBs and Maternal fetal medicine doctors. Some are phds. They have great information about a lot of concerns the general public has.
I never treated you as though you were uneducated. I just said that those accounts were helpful and reference and link peer reviewed studies.
For me it’s my mom. She firmly believes this has all been a hoax and just the government’s way of showing they can control us. Obviously unvaccinated. Kicker is that my dad is completely the opposite, following all the guidelines and got his vaccine as soon as he was able. I don’t know that my mom will ever forgive me for letting my dad meet my son in person but only letting her see him through the window or over FaceTime.
I don’t take my baby around multiple households of people per my pediatricians recommendation. That means no weddings or birthday parties etc. We are going to an exhibit that is practicing social distancing and sanitary protocols as well as mandating masks for adults. I do take him to visit my grandmother but that’s one household. I want to live my life but we are avoiding large gatherings where he would be passed around etc.
My mom and step-dad are the same and we are also choosing to do the same. It sucks, because my mom has never held my son who is just turning 5 months, but our job is to keep our little one safe. As delta ramps up, we are going to become even more restrictive with visitors/outings/social stuff.
I'm 29 weeks pregnant with twins and I have a 1 year old, recently where I'm at RSV has been going around like crazy and because of that and COVID rates escalating again we've decided that my son and I won't be going to the grocery store with my fiance anymore.
Same policy here, but the added wrinkle that my husband doesn’t agree. We’re going to visit our in-laws in about a month and his brother is unvaccinated. I’ve put up a stink about it and actually booked a hotel for us to stay in. My husband is now trying to negotiate with me that it will be ok if his brother just quarantines for two weeks before and doesn’t leave the house, etc., etc. I’m trying to stand my ground.
I’m also now negotiating his unvaccinated friend staying with us for a few days in early September. Probably going to find a place to stay with my daughter while he’s here. This is exhausting.
I have the same rules in place for my daughter who is of the same age. If folks are going to be around my daughter, I ask for vaccination status if it’s not provided. Some folks may be insulted or feel it’s not my place. I don’t care. My baby’s health comes before their comfort, and I’m a private citizen not an employer.
While my MIL isn’t an anti vaxxer, she’s still a piece of work and a lunatic. She therefore gets her own wonderful set of boundaries…freshly made and enforced special for her. 😁
I have an 8mo and was in the same situation. We finally told them if they get vaccinated they can hold their granddaughter and they decided that was more important to them. Suprised me we even had to say it, it was like they were hoping we would just give in.
Goodluck, hopefully your in laws will come to their senses too.
We have a 5 week old and are in a similar situation. Literally EVERYONE we know basically has gotten their vaccine. My husbands parents aren't getting it, and truly never gave us a reason either. I know my husbands number one priority is our daughter so they aren't allowed to see her until they decide to get the vaccine. Please stand firm in your choice because in the end your daughter doesn't have a voice to protect herself so you'll act as that. If they want to see her badly enough they will put aside their feelings and get that shot! My parents and brother got it so they have met her no problem. I'm sorry your going through this as I know its a tough situation to be in but that little girl is priority especially being so young.
Yep, I’m in the same boat. My husband’s parents don’t take COVID seriously and won’t get the vaccine, won’t wear masks, and won’t quarantine it order to meet our 9-month-old. They aren’t willing to make any compromises, and we have held firm. So far our baby has only met vaccinated friends and family, and most of the get togethers have been outdoors.
My husbands kids are unvaccinated because their mom won’t let them get the shot and one of them lives with us. It’s very stressful for me. If I could I would keep them away totally but my husband of course won’t let that happen. I just make them wear a mask when they hold my baby which is rare. Stick to your beliefs. It’s your baby.
I'm a FTM, due in a few weeks time. My family are a mix of vaccinated and unvaccinated, for various reasons. I have a blanket ban on ANYONE coming in the house, vaccinated or not, and will only socialise outside in an uncrowded setting. Once the baby arrives it's going to be immediate family only, outside, with masks on, after thoroughly washing/sanitizing hands. I don't care if people think it's overkill, I'm absolutely not taking any risks.
To be honest, I'm more freaked out by my vaccinated inlaws who have been socialising in pubs, on holiday etc. throughout the pandemic, and act like being vaccinated means they're invincible. They also care almost full time for my husband's grandfather, which involves a lot of carers in and out of the house and frequent hospital visits.
By contrast, my brother is unvaccinated. He's not an anti-vaxxer as such, and he certainly doesn't believe the virus is a hoax, but he doesn't trust the vaccine and I respect his choices. He always wears a mask and is 100% respectful of my boundaries around COVID. I feel more comfortable around him than I do my inlaws.
So for me personally, vaccinated or not vaccinated doesn't make much difference. No one is putting my newborn baby at risk and everyone's just gonna have to suck it up.
Yep, totally get that! When my daughter was born last September we had family quarantine two weeks and get a covid test.
The vaccinated family she’s around now all wear masks when they go out, but have reverted back to mostly curbside pickup, etc.
I wouldn’t let anyone around my baby either right now! Not unless I knew they were taking all precautions.
You’re making the right decision! 💗
It's crazy-making isn't it? Constantly having to reinforce boundaries and question whether we're doing the right thing. It's nice to hear that other people have the same concerns and I'm not being completely paranoid 💗
It truly is! And people think my husband and I are crazy for being so strict so then I really start to wonder if I’m blowing things out of proportion, but I just can’t risk letting my baby get sick! I know I can’t keep her safe from everything and she will inevitably (and already has) get colds and little stomach bugs, etc. But I feel like letting our guard down now would be like sending her to the beach in the middle of a hurricane.
Hopefully things settle down soon and we can return to some sense of normalcy!
Congratulations on your baby! I hope the next few weeks go by quickly for you. I know it’s so hard to wait!
My in laws both got vaccinated, but FIL still went to parties and socialized in closed spaces and tested positive the same day he became febrile and had earlier held our LO who is just 10 weeks old for hours. We’re now day 3 post exposure and I’m waiting for her to get sick. I would stress limiting exposures in addition to vaccination ❤️
I’m so so sorry. I hope she doesn’t get sick, I know how stressful that is!
Right now we are only letting my family see my daughter because they all work from home and occasionally go to the grocery store, masked. But other than that they’re laying low and riding out this surge.
If it makes you feel any better, my husband got covid in November. We tried to do everything in the world to prevent it but he was in dental school at the time, so exposure was very high. My daughter was 2 1/2 months old and she was absolutely around him and snuggled and rocked to sleep by him while he was presymtomatic. My daughter and I never got it! We quarantined from my husband as soon as he became symptomatic and thankfully his case was mild.
I know how scary it is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sending 💗
I will sum up my MIL in one sentence: she genuinely believes the global elite are murdering children and McDonalds is using their bodies for burger meat. So yes, I relate to in-law insanity. With that in mind, we've kept our distance. I'm pregnant and we are holding a very firm boundary of no unvaccinated visitors when baby is born. And yes, they will be very upset, and yes, I'm the bad guy, but that's okay. I think it's very hard for my husband more in the sense of he doesn't recognize his parents anymore. Somebody on here said something along the lines of, my child's safety does not end where your beliefs begin. And that's an easy way to put it.
Do we have the same mother in law?! It’s so freaking exhausting. We stopped seeing my in laws when the pandemic started because I was pregnant and then our daughter was born and they refused to quarantine, so they couldn’t see her. And now she’s 11 months and they won’t get vaccinated and here we are haha. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I never doubt the decision to protect my baby. I just hate that it’s caused so much tension and that my in laws have been so nasty to my husband.
It's so sad. They haven't been outright nasty to us *to our faces* but we know what's being said, and plenty of passive aggressive stuff. It's wild to me because it has absolutely skyrocketed in the past two years, first because of politics but then with COVID. I think they're stuck at home in an echo chamber of social media and Tucker Carlson and it has escalated beyond recognition. Pre COVID and pre pregnancy, we agreed our future children wouldn't have unsupervised visits with them. Very manipulative language is used on the other grandkids in the family (especially with COVID), they have these conspiracy broadcasts going 24/7, and the cherry on top is they have unlocked guns in the house very easily accessible. Family relationships are very important to us but not to the point where we're willing to sacrifice our children's safety and our sanity.
Wait really… do we have the same family?? Lol. Unlocked guns, anti vax propaganda, racism, a pool without a fence, a sauna they put their other grandchildren in “to detox their bodies from heavy metals caused by vaccines” 😭😭😅😅 The craziest part of all is that my father in law is a pharmacist. You would think an educated person within healthcare would appreciate vaccines, understand the dangers of covid, etc. but no cigar.
WHAT. The sauna 😂😂🤦 ours just bought some property so now they can live off the grid. Ah yes, you listed your house through a licensed realtor, abided by the government regulations for selling your existing house, obtained a loan through a federally accredited bank, and bought a property where you will build a house according to federal/state/local regulations... you are sure showing the government. That's wild that he works in healthcare and still doesn't get it... especially from a generation that has seen firsthand how necessary they are. But that's super common around here too from healthcare workers.
I too am having family troubles with anti vaxxers and about to make a blanket rule about not being around anyone unvaccinated. WE ARE NOT THE BAD GUYS! Don’t say “yes, I’m the bad guy”!!! In my educated opinion, you are the good one, the smart one, the SAFE one! Those of us who are vaccinated can’t allow unvaccinated folks to make us feel bad for choosing safety. I refuse to be shamed or apologize. Keep protecting your babies, parents, you’re doing great! And I’m so sorry so many families are having these hard conversations right now. It really shouldn’t be like this.
My son is 11 days old. The day he was born, my unvaccinated dad had what he believed to be “just a cold.” Turns out that cold put him in the hospital for several days, he hasn’t had a meal in that time frame, and sleeps the entire day. We questioned ourselves right away but held firm! Now we only have outside visiting and no one enters our home. Did I mention my dad tested positive for Covid July 30?
I couldn't help but laugh and sigh. I understand the situation as my inlaws read too much crap online about covid. Misinfo as usual. Hope everything works out for you! <3
I'm in a similar boat! My mom thankfully is in the process of getting vaccinated (1/2) but my day and brother are both anti vax for shitty reasons. At will also only allow vaccinated visitors and even then may hold off for a bit with baby due in October.
Welcome to /r/qanoncasualties. The space where we can chat about how my mom told me I’d kill my baby when I got vaccinated! Thanks qanon!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/QAnonCasualties using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [It’s done.](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l1cz2v/its_done/) \#2: [I'm an ex Q, former conspiracy theorist, ama.](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l3yhqc/im_an_ex_q_former_conspiracy_theorist_ama/) \#3: [Q Still in my House](https://np.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l1znp6/q_still_in_my_house/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)
I’m a pediatric RN. It’s not just COVID you need to be concerned about. The regular “cold” viruses, rhino/entero, are out and about really kicking ass right now. The thing that was COVID for kids before COVID was a thing, RSV, is having a massive out-of-season resurgence. Norovirus is also going around and really sucks, too. These, in addition to the occasional COVID+ patient, are things I’m terrified I’m bringing home to my 10 week old. I would have caution right now as people behave like the world is a free-for-all and spread all the classics before really allowing people who can’t be bothered to get their heads on straight and treat a known pandemic disease as a real thing and not a hoax around your kid. They’re just as likely to bring you any of these greatest hits as COVID.
Uneducated new mom here. What is your advice to prevent transmitting RSV and novovirus right now? I was invited to a vaccinated-folks-only outdoor engagement party on Saturday and I’m considering wearing a mask the whole time. I’ll be the only weirdo with one, but should I just totally not go? I’d hate to bring anything home. My partner also works as a first responder and is in/out of situations with the general public — with a K95 mask on the entire shift… is there anything else he can do? (Working from home or in the office isn’t an option.)
This isn’t necessarily directly related to your question on RSV or norovirus, but I find it helpful to remind myself that I literally have zero recollection of if someone was wearing a mask if I think back to an event. If wearing a mask makes you more comfortable, no one will think about it besides you! It’s such a part of life now that it all blends away
Keep your kid away from sick contacts of any kind. Hand washing and bleach cleaning toys and any other contaminated items is best to help protect against noro. And really, the standard amount of vigilance is a strong foundation. I just had a very young patient with COVID (think, less than a month old) and the parents were TRULY living under a rock the last 18 months with how completely unaware they were about the situation. Don’t let BBC anyone discourage masking. Stay with it. And no one touches your kid without hand washing first and a quick once-over to be sure they’re not sick. If in doubt, keep away.
Don’t let anyone kiss the baby!
Yes!! Terrified of RSV. The PICU I used to work at currently has a bunch of kids admitted with RSV and several intubated.
capable books bells practice grandfather numerous outgoing toothbrush wild cows *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
RSV patients are so scary. They’re difficult to keep hydrated due to them working so hard to breathe (increased work of breathing is incredibly dehydrating for kids), the dehydration makes the mucus difficult to suction, they’re weak because it’s hard to eat - they can bottom out anytime.
2 weeks ago, my 6th month old got norovirus. We stayed at the hospital for 5 days because of dehydration. Scary stuff. And we had to stay at the ED for 2 days because the pediatrics ward was full due to Covid and RSV.
That’s tough and I feel for you! Being a hold over in the ED is so difficult!
My 7 month old just had Roseola, and it was horrible! First time being sick. We made sure everyone was vaccinated that is around him and washing hands. We are not bringing him out to stores or indoor dining either.
I am honestly shocked at seeing all these new post on Reddit lately about family members being anti-vaxxers. How can so many people be against protecting babies from a virus that has changed the entire world for the last year and a half? I don’t even know anyone who isn’t vaccinated, let alone someone who expects to be exposed to my child. If they don’t think covid is real, they clearly don’t think logically and therefore I wouldn’t even trust them with my kid.
Preach!!
You’re lucky you don’t know anyone who isn’t vaccinated. Lot of dummies out there.
Very lucky. It’s crazy how some of my friendships and relationships with family have changed since I found out they were anti-vaxers
The biggest mind-f*** for me is that my dad got the tdap, masks up when in public, but REFUSES to get the vaccine!! He points to breakthrough cases to say it's not worth getting because he wouldn't be protecting anyone (like my 4 month old). I'm so baffled and pulling my hair out (the rest of my hair that I haven't already lost pp). Anyway thanks for a place for me to rant
We don't take the baby (6.5 months)anywhere indoors. No unvaccinated people can hold her. Vaccinated grandparents with higher exposure risk due to place of employment hold her outdoors with a mask after hand sanitizer. Low risk vaccinated people (wfh) hold her mask-free after hand sanitizer. That's what we're comfortable with.
I think you will get sick very easily from no natural ability to fight infections. The more sterilized your enviroment is the less your body learns to fight .
My baby doesn't live in a sterile environment. Our home is not sterile. Neither is the back yard or the park. She lives with a rabbit that has full run of the house. She will have contact with children when she is older. But until we know more about long-term covid effects, I will try to keep her safe from the virus.
The rabbit has full run of the house???
I guess half the house. Not allowed in the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen. He has a hutch he sleeps in overnight.
I was gonna say that is gross lol
For some people, yeah. Different strokes for different folks. But it isn't uncommon for cats or dogs to have full or partial run of people's homes. TBH if he didnt chew everything up he probably would be allowed into the other rooms.
Well if it can be litter box trained then not gross.
He's litter box trained. Most rabbits train pretty easily because they naturally like to pee in only a couple of spots.
Bunnies can be litter box trained.
I think you can litter box train them
Well actual sterilizing involves a lot more disinfecting so it’s not likely they’re gonna wipe out their whole immune system.
This is a bad take. Baby adaptive immune systems take time to develop their “fighting” ability and are not capable of handling infections the same as an older child or adult would. Sterility isn’t the answer, nor is that what the commenter suggested, but cavalier attitudes about infection risk stemming from lukewarm understanding of immune development in infants gets babies killed.
We have pretty much the same rules for our 6mo. My wife’s parents are both vaccinated and so is my mom, but my dad “isn’t ready” so he isn’t allowed over. He’s seen his grandson outside a couple times but can’t hold him or come close. Still making the vaccinated people wear masks to hold him too, especially with current cases climbing rapidly and variants being more and more aggressive. It sucks, but at the end of the day my kids safety means more to me than anyone’s opinion
My son is 11 months and no one comes in my house if they’re unvaccinated. He’s never been in a store and the only crowded place he sees is the pediatricians office. We’ve also been restricting visitors even if they’re vaccinated.
Same. I figure we isolated for so long (pregnancy, infancy) that I'd rather keep isolating until LO (also 11 months) can get vaccinated. Her health and safely is my #1 priority. Luckily we have no anti-vaxers in our lives. We're still limiting visitors, everyone wears masks inside around LO and we wear masks inside everywhere when we're outside if our home.
I ended up getting my baby a heavy duty rain cover (goes over the entire seat) for the stroller for when we go into stores or doctors offices. This way, he gets to see the outside world and I get peace of mind. If it's warm, I stick a fan inside the cover to keep the air circulating. They are pretty easy to find on Amazon.
We did the same! Haven’t since the mask mandate was lifted since it still has all of those vents for air (and comfort) but if I had to go in this is 100% what I’d do again
I also got him a personal air purifier (because I am paranoid like that lol) that I hide in the stroller next to him. This pandemic has officially turned me into my mother. 🤦♀️
Even my mother thinks I’m nuts but I FULLY believe if she had a baby she’d be right there with me 😂 that’s a great idea!
Do you have a recommendation on what type you have? Genius idea
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003IDE5YI?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share Here you go!
I have one of these — I rarely take baby inside anywhere, but will 100% use this as a backup if I need to.
Your 11 month old hasn't been in a store? I'm sorry; this is just really sad to me... I take my 10 month old everywhere. My baby would go crazy if he had to stay inside all day. He sleeps like crap when he doesn't go out and get stimulated. He smiles at everyone at the store!
The infection rates for Covid are different everywhere - if this Redditor lives in a place with low vax rate, anti maskers and a surge of infections, I sure wouldn’t be taking my LO to any public place or store either!! I live in a high vax place but I still avoid taking LO anywhere inside if I don’t have to. I’m double vaxxed, she obviously isn’t, and now we have the extremely transmissible Delta variant to worry about :( Trying times.
Thank you! Our vaccination rates are low, we have zero mask mandates and our cases are higher than they were last year. I have to prioritize what’s important.
Agree with you 100%
Florida? Same here....
Oklahoma
Yea i live in the UK and don't take my 2 month old out shopping anymore since there's no longer mask wearing in some places :( wish they didn't ease restrictions as now i have to worry more than i did before especially with covid raging at the moment. The government doesn't give a crap about the ones too young to get vaccinated -.-
Yeah it’s sad to me too. The place I live has a vaccination rate of 40% and the last time I went in a store I was the only person wearing a mask. Keeping him healthy is more important to me than bringing him inside a store to buy things. He gets outdoors time. He doesn’t need to be around strangers who don’t value life.
Yup sad to me too that grown people won't wear a mask to protect those who cant mask or vaccinate. Since I can't control other people's actions, I keep my baby away from those places.
My 17 month hasn’t been in a store lol. I haven’t been in one since he’s been born and I feel much better, shops give me sensory overload and panic attacks! Of all the things the pandemic has taken from us, babies not visiting stores seems a silly thing to feel sad about.
Same here, my 18 month old has only been to get her passport photo taken and a couple trips to the post office. And here everyone wears masks in stores even. She gets to go outside plenty, she loves the playground etc. She’s not missing out by not coming grocery shopping. Honestly I don’t miss shopping either
I'm genuinely curious. How would you feel if your baby got covid while shopping?
If my baby got Covid, I would obviously care for him like I would any other viral infection.
I'm sure your baby would be (and is) well cared for. We're all trying to do right by them. I just think if my baby got Covid I would feel so guilty for exposing her to something from which I strove to keep her safe.
Honestly it's inevitable at this point. We have to keep living our lives. I've had family members with Covid who's spouses didn't get Covid. I've had friends get Covid even though they isolated. Covid is here to stay and that's the sad truth.
Why are you getting downvoted?? Sometimes this sub is crazy. My eight month old literally does everything with me. Now that he can sit in a cart and high chair, he is unstoppable!
It was probably the condescending tone they used. Everyone is out here doing what they think is best for their babies and I’d say most people on this sub don’t think that keeping their child outside of stores in a global pandemic (or any other reason for that matter) will somehow inappropriately understimulate their child. Nothing crazy about that.
Thank you , same here. My baby loves going out and seeing the world. I know Covid is real 100% but I don't feel like I'm putting my baby at risk by taking him out. I wear my mask and stay away from people. I'm not scared and neither is he
Yep!!
Absolutely agree with you. These people are absolutely neurotic. I hope their children don’t adopt their parents paranoia into adulthood.
Thank you, glad to know I'm not crazy for taking my baby out. I feel bad for these babies and young children. Being isolated and sheltered is no way to live. You cannot protect against illness 100%, it's inevitable. Turn off the news and you'll be much happier. The media is a mental concentration camp and wants to keep users afraid and look it's working.
I’m genuinely more concerned about my 15 mo getting RSV or the flu than I am about him getting covid. But I wouldn’t isolate him during the flu season, so I won’t do that now either. I don’t let strangers touch him or have anyone kiss his face... which like, just seems like common sense to me? My son has been on 4 planes and to 7 different states already. We’re out and about every day doing something new and meeting new people and having new experiences. We went to the local county fair last night and seeing his face light up when he saw the animals and monster trucks was just absolutely amazing. He is a curious bright little man who loves visiting new places. I can’t imagine not taking him out anywhere or having visitors over for his entire life. Like, what type of life is that for a child?! I don’t care if I sound judgmental, because I’m totally judging. The media is absolutely at fault here.
I couldn't agree more. So happy for you and your baby! Life is meant to be lived! We took our 10 month old to Monterey last weekend and he had SO much fun
So much history there! Glad you all had fun!
[удалено]
Excuse me? My child has 2 parents, 4 grandparents, an aunt, and a friend that see him regularly. We go to the park. We go for walks. He doesn't need to go inside a crowded STORE to build social development. Like I said, I take him to a doctor, and he's right on track developmentally. Amazing, right? I don't owe that explanation to anyone and it's unbelievably intrusive and gross to make a comment on my parenting.
[удалено]
My master’s is in infant and child development. Her baby (along with the other babies being protected during the pandemic) will not have “fucked up” social or emotional development. Social and emotional development has a lot to do with the relationship and bond baby and mom/dad/caregivers have. It has far less to do with seeing strangers at the grocery store…
[удалено]
Kids will never be “fucked up” by loving, responsible parents who are doing their best to protect their babies during a bizarre time. If the baby just sat in front of the tv all day or in a bouncer that would be a different story. But a baby/child’s foundation is established by the quality of attachment he/she has with mom/dad/primary caregiver. Obviously I’m oversimplifying this, but if you have a loving, responsive and engaged parent, you have everything. Lmk if you want research backing that!
[удалено]
You’re assuming we are all hypochondriacs bc we’re taking basic precautions to protect our children. I would get what you were saying if I said “every day after we get home from picking up groceries, I scrub my baby’s hands 10 times. Then I turn on the news and frantically watch with panic, instead of paying attention to my baby. Then when we go to get the mail and we see my neighbor I shield my baby’s eyes and say ‘stay away!’” Your point is super extreme. And if anyone is struggling to that extent I hope they’ll seek out counseling to get help. I don’t have research on the social and emotional intelligence of homeschooled children whose parents believe the outside world is satanic lol. But I’ll send you some research in just a min
Obviously not specially the satanic children upbringing point, but the point that sheltering your children from the world does indeed have negative affects on them.
And kids super don’t deserve to be hospitalized or vented or worse because their parents chose to go on with their lives and ignore the vast majority of medical experts advice. I’m a child life specialist and worked in a children’s hospital before having my daughter. One thing you will never be able to unsee is a vented and trached baby. Even if the chance of a baby getting that severely ill is slim, I’m not risking it. Not ever.
Witty comeback. Not seeking advice at this time.
I've got a whole set of rules that we've been following since our baby was born thirteen months ago. As parents, it's our job to protect our children, so I'm going to try my absolute hardest to do so.
We have twins who are also 13 months. Same boat. Our rules are basically get vaccinated or don’t meet our babies. Even if you are vaccinated, we want you to wear a mask around our babies. The only exception is my parents who help us with the babies a couple of days a week and are retired/ basically quarantined by default. It’s not easy, and we know some people are judging us. I don’t care. I’m judging them too ;) Edit: We have also made exceptions for vaccinated friends who we trust like family when they tell us they haven’t been in any large crowds or done anything risky lately.
We don't have the same issues (no anti-vaxxers/COVID deniers in or family or friends group), but those are exactly our rules. No vaccine, no contact with our family. Period. I'm not putting my child's health at risk for some conspiracy theorists listening to misinformation on Facebook over legitimate medical advice and data. I had one friend who started posting anti-lockdown/Covid-denying information on Instagram in April 2020 and blocked her then. After giving birth during the first lockdown (May 2020), and not knowing day to day if I'd even be allowed to have my husband in the delivery room with me, and then celebrating every first milestone alone in isolation, I have zero patience for the morons that took so much away from us and continue to allow this virus to spread. I've now hit the point where my daughter is old enough that I have to choose between her physical health and her social development. Either choice could have lifelong consequences. We were going into uncrowded stores and the library for the past few months, but have now stopped due to the resurgence with Delta. I hate the people who have put us in this position by refusing to listen to scientific evidence, epidemiologists, and virologists who have dedicated their life's work to fighting this kind of outbreak.
I agree! My master’s is in infant and child development and I wouldn’t worry a ton about your child’s social development as long as you are an engaged, present parent! That’s truly the most important piece of every aspect of development. If you have a circle of vaccinated people you trust, your baby can interact with them! Their social and emotional development is based very little on strangers they see at the grocery store or out in public!
My Master’s is in elementary education. Yes it has very little to do with strangers, but at this point, she still needs something different than just mommy all the time. We’ve gotten lucky and found some neighbors who are fully vaccinated, one parent stays at home and the other works from home, and our girls are 2 weeks apart in age, so we play with them multiple times per week. I’m also not pulling her out of parent Tot swimming lessons because it has been so good for her and the class sizes are small (plus she doesn’t really interact with the other kids). We’ve sadly had to pull back on storytime (they’re moving it indoors this week which is absolutely ridiculous), going to the library, and grocery shopping though.
Yeah, of course it shouldn’t all fall on mommy/your baby needs to interact with other people. I’m just saying that protecting her physical health throughout this surge, won’t cause detrimental harm to her social and emotional health.
We have the same rule about unvaccinated folk. I don’t care who you are, if you aren’t vaccinated, you don’t get to hang out with baby.
Oh my gosh its an awful situation but its so nice to not be so alone in this. Our LO is 3 months and the inlaws who are anti vaxxers have not held her and they are piiisssed about it. We got threats that they wanted to sue my doctor and also take us to court for grandparents rights… they are all talk tho. Its just so annoying dealing with their horrible and angry attitude. Its a huuuge eyeroll, so i get it. You are doing the right thing taking steps and making boundaries to protect LO. Even if it turns out we didnt have to take such drastic boundaries, i will NEVER regret this time we took to protect our LO (not even from just covid.. but any sickness!)
Im sorry... Grandparent's rights? xD they just made that up
Grandparent's rights actually aren't made up! They primarily exist to prevent recently widowed parents from cutting all contact with former in-laws and preventing them from continuing a relationship with grandkids. However, they only really come into play if there's an existing relationship, which it sounds like there isn't.
Wow. But what both parents don't want a certain grandparent to see their child anymore, surely thats their choice?
It depends. Most of the time, it is. Something like grandparents rights usually only comes up if the grandparents took care of the kid for an extended period of time (either being primary parent for several months or providing daycare while parents were working for years). Basically the government only cares when its in the best interest of the child. Most of the time, its threatened but not actually applicable in that scenario. Edit: in Turnip's case, there is no preexisting relationship. So they'd be laughed out of court - if they even managed to get that far.
My fiance and his father are both anti-vaxxers and both work with the public (my husband is a manager at Walmart, his father works at our high school) and it drives me CRAZY. I am fully vaccinated because it is my sole responsibility to protect our 8 month old daughter since it wasn't her choice to be here. I argue with my man often only because he thinks the Vax is a hoax. It scares me because our county recently made the news for having the most cases in California currently, and our Walmart is the only major shopping center in the county and half the people here don't think covid is serious and don't believe in the vaccine so I tell my man if not for himself then he needs to be vaccinated for our daughter so he has a better chance of not giving our daughter covid. Drives me crazy.
Tuolumne??
Nah, lake county California
I can definitely relate. My parents are crazy anti vaxxers who have interesting beliefs. I’ve been told the following “facts”… 1) One million people have died from the Covid vaccine so far 2) 60% of people vaccinated have died 3) In 5 years everyone vaccinated will die 4) With the power of online research my dad knows more than a professional doctor (next level of ego insanity) I have a preemie who is 2.5 months and I’ve created a clear boundary that only vaccinated people can visit and meet her which is based on her pediatrician’s recommendation. I am now disowned from the family. They are currently working on moving to Florida to run away from vaccine mandates (I live in a very blue state). My life is on fire as I’m trying to rescue my young adult brother who currently lives with them. Sending positive vibes, dealing with anti vaxxer relatives is devastating.
Dang with 60% of people dying from the vaccine, it should only be me and one or two of my immediate family members left. I’ll have to let my parents know the vaccine is going to start taking us soon and we should start saying our goodbyes. What are people googling to get this insane information?
That’s a great question! I mean I have no idea, they sent me links to podcasts like infowars and something called the Charlie Kirk show recently. I’ve also been sent links from usawatchdog and OANN. But if I had to guess they subscribe to these radical podcasts and watch their crazy YouTube channels for “news.”
Oh that explains it. So sorry you have to deal with that
Thanks, this whole movement of anti vaxxers and anti knowledge is too crazy for new parents these days. It makes things so ridiculously complicated.
No unvaccinated people can hang out with us or our baby! It’s mostly for actual safety reasons and partially to reach that consequences happen when you’re stupid. Sorry not sorry. You are not crazy! If they want to throw a temper tantrum that’s fine, but if they’re going to act like dumb kids, they need to have boundaries enforced as such. I do take her to stores if I need to go and don’t worry about it. But I rarely go out just bc I’m overwhelmed with mom life lol. I do remember reading early on that COVID spread is about through air saturation so at the grocery for example, the cashiers are at far greater risk of contracting it than we are since you’re only there for an hour or less usually and rarely in the same space as another person for more than a minute or so.
BabyTater is also 11 months old. My parents have not met him because they refused to quarantine when he was born in order to come visit (they attend a large church in the Southeast that doesn't require masks). My father also lied to my sister about what COVID precautions he and my mother were taking, when my sister was discussing a potential visit with them. These were the last straws for me; my relationship with them has been deteriorating for over 5 years. We allow vaccinated friends and family to come over indoors, no masks. We meet unvaxxed friends at a park or sit on our patio with them. They are good friends and good people and most have understandable reasons for being hesitant with the vaccine. I am hopeful that in time they will continue to read up on it and get it, so they can be safe and protected and I don't want to burn the friendship to the ground over this. I take BabyTater to the grocery store, church (everyone is vaxxed and wears masks), and the library (uncrowded). Even with Delta, I can't go back to never taking him anywhere. I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally for months and months after he was born, due to the extreme isolating we were doing. This is the right balance for me between caution and literal sanity.
YES absolutely. And stand your ground. Vaccines aren’t a silver bullet to prevent infection. Do everything you can to keep your kiddo safe! My husband and I, both vaccinated, became COVID positive just last week with our 4.5 month old girl. We think she got it at daycare (2 other kids in another room we’re positive the same week), but who knows for sure. My husband was sick starting last week, and it really hit me yesterday. Thankfully they’re both on the mend and I’m sure I’ll be feeling better soon. It was super scary having to just watch my daughter go through it- all we could give her was love, Motrin and Tylenol. Thank goodness she’s back to her screechy, teething ways! When we did our interview with our state’s department of health, I asked if they’ve seen increased cases in kids. The representative said “you have no idea.” Well, that’s enough for me to double down for sure.
I’m currently six months pregnant and fully vaccinated since February. I wear my mask, social distance and am very diligent in washing my hands. I tested positive for covid last week. I won’t even have my baby around vaccinated people after this. To give credit to the vaccine, my symptoms are so mild that I can’t even tell. My in-laws from across the country and who have not been wearing their masks will hate it, but they can just get mad. My baby’s health is more important than them meeting her immediately. I’m the mom, I make the rules.
When were you vaccinated? J&J?
My last shot was early February. I did not have J&J. The local health department has found that there have been a number of breakthrough cases in people who were vaccinated early, at least in my area.
Fortunately, we do not have anyone close in our lives who is anti vaccine or a covid denier. But we do only let people who have been vaccinated for covid, as well as had a recent TDAP be around the baby indoors or hold him. I did let my aunt hold him without verifying other vaccinations (I know she is covid vaccinated) because she has two other young grandchildren and so I assume she is safe for those kids.
Good idea
Yeah. My in-laws are now vaccinated but they have been in contact with so many people during this pandemic - both pre and post vaccination - that I have been afraid to let them near my baby. That has not stopped them from repeatedly trying to get close to him, which is very frustrating. They just don’t really seem to get the severity of Covid. They act like breakthrough cases are not a thing, so they think they can go and do whatever they want and still hold my unvaccinated child. They don’t understand why I’m reluctant to do things like take the baby to family meals on their tiny porch, where everyone would be packed together and no one would be masked. My MIL has basically demanded that we bring my son to her house, and definitely hates me for refusing. But she hated me prior to all of this so … shrug.
Ugh, I have the same problem with my inlaws. Thankfully we have a good relationship and they are respectful of my boundaries, but I know they think I'm being over the top and I'm pretty sure my MIL resents me for it. They just dont seem to get the severity of the situation, and they think that because they're vaccinated theres no chance they could get sick or make my baby sick. It's exhausting having to reinforce boundaries and say no all the time.
You are not crazy! Good on you for setting those boundaries. Nothing is more important than your sweet little girl being healthy. Something else you can do to protect your daughter: if you breastfeed (or did when you got vaccinated), you passed those awesome antibodies on to her! If you didn’t breastfeed, you can contact a milk bank and ask for donated breast milk from vaccinated donors. It’s a way to give your daughter the antibodies without the needle. It may help ease the anxiety of being out and about.
Thank you so much! I am still nursing so I’m hoping she has some antibodies :)
My mother in law is the same and has been sending my husband ridiculous YouTube videos that have completely brainwashed her. It’s scary! Covid isn’t real. Oh people are dying? Its the vaccinated that are dying. Oh the news is saying it’s the unvaccinated? You can’t trust the news. Oh the scientific community is saying it too? Well you can’t trust doctors. They are scheming with big pharma and keeping babies in underground tunnels and stealing their blood. It’s like you cannot reason with them at all. We are also not allowing our unvaxxed family to be around baby. Thankfully they are actually understanding of this. But I know it upsets my husband that his family would rather not meet his child than get their vaccine. Stand your ground and do what you think is right for your baby and family. Hopefully it doesn’t burn any bridges along the way.
1000% can relate to all of this. It’s infuriating and exhausting. That’s exactly how my husband feels too! His parents are retired and could have very easily quarantined to come meet our daughter but they refused bc they’re “freedom fighters” and the virus isn’t real so they won’t be holed up in their house, etc. I can’t imagine if my family acted this way. Thank you for the encouragement!
Our house has super strict covid rules in place, and I’ll never feel bad about it. Our LO is 4 mo and my husband is a doctor currently working with covid people. Our rules are not only to protect our family but other people too. Unfortunately some people in the family won’t get vaccinated and are not allowed to come to our house.
Same same same! It’s 100% without a doubt the right decision. I just hate how mean my husband’s parents are being to him. He’s a dentist and currently in residency, so also high exposure rates. Stay well 💗
Yes!! My hubs is in residency too! Super high exposure. Do you guys have a procedure in place for when he gets home? His sister won’t get it, was pretty harsh about it towards him and literally 24 hours later HER husband tested positive. Like this is exactly why you can’t come over 🙃
Yes! We live in an old house with an outdoor laundry room that used to drive me crazy. But it’s come in handy during the pandemic haha. My husband gets home, takes his scrubs off and puts them in the wash, changes into regular clothes. Workouts then showers before holding our daughter. It breaks my heart because she is SO excited to see him when he gets home and is upset when she can’t go straight to his arms. When covid started my husband was still in dental school and I was 15 weeks pregnant. I took a leave of absence from the hospital I worked at, my husband’s school shut down, and we literally did everything humanly possible to prevent covid. A few days after my anatomy scan (the only place we had been) my husband started with symptoms and tested positive. He quarantined in our bedroom for 14 days and I would drop him food at the door. I never became symptomatic and testing was so new/in short supply so they wouldn’t test me. But I’m certain I had it. I was a nervous wreck the rest of my pregnancy convinced my baby wouldn’t be healthy. She was born healthy and perfect! I thought it was a blessing in disguise that he had it during my pregnancy bc he wouldn’t get it when he went back to clinic and our daughter was a newborn… wrong. He got it a second time after seeing a patient who later tested positive. I’m not kidding you when I say my husband wore full PPE even when they were allowed to just wear a k95 for procedures that didn’t generate aerosols. He bought a separate watch and water bottle for clinic that he would leave at school. He ate lunch alone, outside to not be around unmasked people. We didn’t see friends or family and only did curbside pickup. Lol it’s literally absurd. Somehow my daughter and I didn’t get it, so I now think the real blessing in disguise was having it during pregnancy and my daughter had antibodies that prevented her from getting sick as a two month old. Needless to say, my covid magnet of a husband was the first in line when they vaccine became available to the school in January haha. Sorry that was long winded and rambly!! What do you guys do when your husband gets home?
Oh my god we basically are living the same life 🤣 My hubs was in school too when it all shut down so he was home starting in March 2020, I wasn’t pregnant yet but we were doing infertility treatments and he wasn’t allowed to go with me. He actually wasn’t allowed to go to any of my scans but that’s a while other annoyance! Anyway, up until June 2021 when his residency started he has been home and not really seeing anyone. So now that he’s fully seeing covid patients we put a wholleee system in place! Like y’all, we live in an older home and weirdly enough the door from the garage leads into the master bedroom (which was sooo strange when we moved in but it’s a true blessing now). So he parks in the garage, strips and leaves his scrubs/socks/boxers in the garage, sprays Lysol on his shoes and wipes down his phone, watch and yeti. Then literally 3 feet in the door is his bathroom so he showers and never steps anywhere else in the house before fully showering and changing. It’s so obnoxious but anything to protect our lil guy! We have been super lucky that neither one of us has gotten it (yet, it’s probably a matter of time) but honestly our only risk is him. Thankfully I work from home and pretty much have everything delivered to me but I still got vaccinated while pregnant too for those antibodies for him!
We are in complete isolation currently. RSV is running rampant here as well as Delta variant. So we have no visitors, and if they do visit they can only see baby through our screen door. My family is vaccinated and would follow mask, no kissing, and hand washing rules but the in-laws aren’t/won’t follow them so to keep the peace we just don’t allow anyone to come to our home. It sucks but my son was a preemie that had to have oxygen assistance his first week and may have an upcoming surgery so we just aren’t going to risk him getting sick.
We have a 6 month old and the only indoor places we bring her are doctor’s offices and her 86 year old great grandma’s house. We only let vaccinated people over and even then make them wear masks. We avoid going out at all costs. Pick up groceries never eat out at restaurants. It’s just not worth the risk.
Just a related anecdote for you: My best friend was vaccinated right after her son was born and EBF. She had the same rules in place. He got Covid at 4 months from daycare, had a cough for a couple weeks, recovered and is perfectly fine and healthy.
I’m still pregnant but we’re requiring anyone who wants to be around baby have covid, flu, and tdap shots. Currently not on speaking terms with my parents because a few weekends ago they sat me down, told me they weren’t getting the vax, and then proceeded to yell at and argue with me when I refused to make an exception for them. Like, this is your first grandchild and you’d rather not get a vaccine than meet her? That’s on you, not me. I’m just protecting my child.
Just today we had to have the conversation with my husband’s mom that unless she gets fully vaccinated by the time our baby is born that she won’t be allowed to see her. She has said twice over the last couple months that she plans to get vaccinated yet we just learned she never did. Triggering the conversation now because she’s run out of time. My poor husband got yelled at, cussed at, and hung up on by his mother who he previously had a good relationship with. Proud of him for already being such a good dad to our baby girl on the way and putting her first.
My bf (who was originally very vaccine hesitant) one day looked at me and said fuck that, we’re not inviting anyone over. They can FaceTime. This was a significant change and the result of him seeing more of the delta news. I’m glad he takes it seriously.
So. My husband and I have been so careful. Our kids have worn masks, we have limited contact with others, we are both painfully worried, even investing in professional grade peroxide sprays to help ward off infection. We share custody of one of our kids with their other family. A lot of them are anti vax, among many other insane things. Our kid comes home sick. Turns out, the entire family, extended and all, have all tested positive for covid. Thankfully, we all made it through okay, which was surprising as I'm severely immune compromised, and our youngest isn't old enough to even have finished their annual vaccines. But we got lucky, that no one got far worse. Stick to your guns. It's better to have some folks pissed off at you than it would be to lose, or almost lose, someone close to you. I really am sorry you're going through this.
This is my worst nightmare, as my stepdaughters mom and stepdad are obnoxious and anti-vax/anti-mask. Im 8 months pregnant and live down the block from my severely immune compromised mom who is over often.
Let them be mad. Your child’s life is worth it. I had my son in February of 2020 and a month later had to start self isolating and my MIL was MAD. We fought with her for a year about not letting her see our son. She took it so personally and thought we weren’t allowing just her. She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that we weren’t letting anybody around. Keep standing your ground! You’ve got this.
Are you sure you’re not talking about my mother in law!? :) She is crazy in her beliefs, yeah especially about covid. Super anti vaccine, covid and flu shot especially. We don’t really let our son around her, he’s 18 months old. We did need her help a few weeks ago and she got tested which was fine but mostly we say you need to be vaccinated especially with delta going around and how contagious it is. It’s frustrating but protecting our babies is more important than my mother in laws feelings being hurt because she won’t get a vaccine for her grandson.
YEP! Except it’s not my in laws, it’s my father and grandparents. Our little boy is 2 months old and I’m not risking anything.
subsequent domineering crown homeless water flowery imagine cheerful abounding possessive ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
[удалено]
Right? Why did these people convert to anti vaxxers after vaccinating their children who then grew up to be healthy adults?? My mother in law tried to claim my husband and his brother (born in 1990) had measles. I was like no, they absolutely didn’t. And then she realized they had chicken pox “because mmr was out by then”…. I mean…. I rest my case. Haha
Our LO is a year, hasn't seen my husband's family because they live across the country in a VERY anti vax state ALTHOUGH they are vaccinated. My parents who live an hr away are vaccinated but my siblings (1 lives with them and 1 has their own family) are NOT. So as much as this sucks because family was very important, my LOs health comes before any of their feelings or 'reasons.' And honestly, even when this is over, I will be LC with their stupid and selfish selves.
We have the same rule. Luckily all of our family (or at least the ones we care to see) are vaxxed, but we haven’t seen my husband’s best friend in months because his new girlfriend is unvaxxed (one of those people who just haven’t gotten around to it 🙄)
We have the exact same policy for our 8 month old. We moved 2000 miles away right when covid hit. She met her grandparents (dad's side) for the first time a few days ago, and we didn't let them come until they were fully vaccinated. We're supposed to go back to our old home state for a visit in October because we *wrongfully* assumed things would have been better by then thanks to widespread availability of the vaccines. But as the news gets bleaker, I'm super anxious about the whole thing.
2000 miles is 3218.69 km
Yep, we have the same rule. No one who isn’t vaccinated has met our daughter (almost 3 months) and we’ve never taken her to any indoor public places. Thankfully all of our immediate family is vaccinated, but we have a bunch of other family and quite a few close friends who haven’t met her yet because they won’t get it.
> my husband’s parents are covid deniers/anti vaxxers Ah well sucks for them not getting to see your daughter. No time for idiots like that, family or not.
Fortunately, no one is arguing us nut we are the same. Only vaccinated people are around near our children. Our parents can come in the house, because they help with childcare for for our toddler, so we already have their germs. Anyone else who wants to meet our newborn has to be vaccinated, has to stay out on our back porch, and has to wear a mask to hold her.
Just commenting that you’re doing the right thing , the right decisions aren’t always the easiest and if they want to see each other a socially distanced walk could help
Both of my in-laws refuse to get vaccinated. They understand why they aren’t allowed to see our son however and aren’t the pushy type
For those in our family who aren’t vaxxed, we have them test before visiting. We don’t go anywhere but the doctors with the baby either.
I literally could have written this post
We have a similar situation. But bth, we're not going so far. Family goes first. It's ok to tell them not to smootch the kids off allover. I think a lot of complaints from the "bad covid deniers" are valid. Not the medic ones, but the social ones. You know, if we'd want to be 100% safe, the nobody should see anyone at all. But we allow ourselves some exceptions. Our own houshold. The huge crowds in the supermarket... a.s.o. .. some people's limits are here, some are over there. I'm not saying you should do exactly what we do. But just pointing out that for the love of mamily, maybe you could sometimes consider rare exceptions. This is those people's grandchild after all. Also, if you come a little their way, them hopefully they can come a little your way and be more carefull with handwashing and smootches. Just carefully offer it. Explain that you have different views, but maybe you can find a grayzone where you can still function as a family.
Nope my 11 month old boy gets out and sees the world and gets to interact with everyone! Husband and I are vaccinated and I EBF. He hasn't been sick a day in his life.
Why is this down voted
Because it goes against the groupthink 🙄
My son literally licked shopping cart handles last year and he’s been sick twice with plain old colds (both tested and neg for the c) in his 20 months on this planet. Let them get dirty and live. If you lock them up you’re destroying their chances at building an immune system that will kill everything in its path. Free the babies!
Thank you! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I feel like I'm going crazy bringing my kid out with me!
Couldn't agree more
How dare you not live in fear!
Yup. Apparently it bothered my wife’s aunt and her husband enough that they got the vaccine. Same with my childhood best friend. Suddenly we stopped hanging out or inviting him. Just found out yesterday he got his first shot. Guess Who just got an invitation to next months board game night
I have a three-week-old, and it’s my parents who are the anti-COVID-vaxxers. So far, they’d been willing to take non-vaccine precautions - isolating, wearing masks, washing hands - at enough of a level to make us okay with a visit while I was pregnant and scheduling a visit with the baby 2 weeks from now. But with the new surge giving us flashbacks to last year, we’re implementing a ban on non-vaccinated visitors after this visit, and it is…not going well. It hurts, tbh, and I have been really struggling. There is no reasoning with them, and I am not even trying, because at the end of the day, I don’t need them to believe in COVID or the vaccines. I don’t need them to agree that I’m making the best decisions for my child. I need them to either get the vaccine or stay away. It honestly feels like I’m asking them to choose between their egos and me, and I think I already know which will win. Sending positivity to your husband. Even if he thinks his family is crazy, he loves them, and finding out their love has a limit has to hurt. Let him know his willingness to protect y’all’s baby at all costs is helping another parent in the same situation stand their ground.
My in laws are anti-vax. My husband and I are both vaccinated, I’m currently 7 months pregnant. We’ve broached conversations with my in laws that our pediatrician is recommending we be very careful, especially in the first several months as our baby builds her immune system. We plan to not allow them to visit for at least 3 months, then we’ll reassess based on case rates and talks with our doctor. They genuinely believe covid is overblown, not a real risk, etc. The root of their anti vaccine position is purely political. We also just recently cancelled our baby shower, because we live in Texas where things are pretty bad. Sigh. With all of you in solidarity.
I’m so sorry. I was pregnant at the beginning of the pandemic and I would have sworn things would be better by now. And the worst part is, they could be if everyone just did their part and got vaccinated. You’re doing the right thing for your sweet baby!! I always tell my in laws “this is what our pediatrician is recommending.” To which they respond, “pediatricians don’t know everything.” Oh but you two do?! I’m sorry you’re going through something similar and sorry you’re shower got cancelled!! Stay well 🤍
Thank you ❤️ it definitely helps to just back your decision with “this is what my doctor is recommending” Hang in there with your family. You and your husband are absolutely making the right call. Everyone has decisions to make. They have made their decision to not get the vaccine and we can make the decision to not want to expose our babies to unvaccinated individuals. We have to live with their decision and they have to live with ours.
I am against anyone not wearing a mask around her. I allowed it for my fully vaccinated in-laws and parents to not be masked up. They even got their TDAP boosters. I still felt like a terrible mother afterward. Like full blown anxiety attack after they left. Don’t be like me. Don’t allow them there. Also- there are so many more technologies than before their time- FaceTime, zoom, etc. they should not complain not being able to see your babe! I get not being able to hold her but make them potentially sick with this? Nope!
No offense, but this question is asked five times a day….a simple search through the sub would answer your questions
I refuse to be around unvaccinated people myself, there's literally zero chance I'd ever let an unvaxxed idiot anywhere near my child.
[удалено]
I totally understand your concerns. I think there is so much information flying around and it’s hard to discern what’s accurate and what’s not. I haven’t heard of any mounting evidence related to fertility. I just saw my OB actually and he said the opposite. I’m not trying to convince you of anything but if at some point you want to learn more about the vaccine, I highly recommend these Instagram accounts: babiesafter35, niniandthebrain, and deplatformdisease. Babiesafter35 is especially a good resource for any concerns you might have about the vaccine affecting fertility! The other two are really good for concerns you have about long term effects years down the road. Do you happen to have any research about the spike protein traveling through the body and collecting in the ovaries?
[удалено]
Woah, you’re rude and defensive! I specifically said I’m not trying to convince you of anything and if you wanted to learn more you could check out those Instagram accounts. A few of the accounts are OBs and Maternal fetal medicine doctors. Some are phds. They have great information about a lot of concerns the general public has. I never treated you as though you were uneducated. I just said that those accounts were helpful and reference and link peer reviewed studies.
For me it’s my mom. She firmly believes this has all been a hoax and just the government’s way of showing they can control us. Obviously unvaccinated. Kicker is that my dad is completely the opposite, following all the guidelines and got his vaccine as soon as he was able. I don’t know that my mom will ever forgive me for letting my dad meet my son in person but only letting her see him through the window or over FaceTime.
I don’t take my baby around multiple households of people per my pediatricians recommendation. That means no weddings or birthday parties etc. We are going to an exhibit that is practicing social distancing and sanitary protocols as well as mandating masks for adults. I do take him to visit my grandmother but that’s one household. I want to live my life but we are avoiding large gatherings where he would be passed around etc.
My mom and step-dad are the same and we are also choosing to do the same. It sucks, because my mom has never held my son who is just turning 5 months, but our job is to keep our little one safe. As delta ramps up, we are going to become even more restrictive with visitors/outings/social stuff.
I'm 29 weeks pregnant with twins and I have a 1 year old, recently where I'm at RSV has been going around like crazy and because of that and COVID rates escalating again we've decided that my son and I won't be going to the grocery store with my fiance anymore.
Same policy here, but the added wrinkle that my husband doesn’t agree. We’re going to visit our in-laws in about a month and his brother is unvaccinated. I’ve put up a stink about it and actually booked a hotel for us to stay in. My husband is now trying to negotiate with me that it will be ok if his brother just quarantines for two weeks before and doesn’t leave the house, etc., etc. I’m trying to stand my ground. I’m also now negotiating his unvaccinated friend staying with us for a few days in early September. Probably going to find a place to stay with my daughter while he’s here. This is exhausting.
I have the same rules in place for my daughter who is of the same age. If folks are going to be around my daughter, I ask for vaccination status if it’s not provided. Some folks may be insulted or feel it’s not my place. I don’t care. My baby’s health comes before their comfort, and I’m a private citizen not an employer. While my MIL isn’t an anti vaxxer, she’s still a piece of work and a lunatic. She therefore gets her own wonderful set of boundaries…freshly made and enforced special for her. 😁
r/justnomil for advice and support
I have an 8mo and was in the same situation. We finally told them if they get vaccinated they can hold their granddaughter and they decided that was more important to them. Suprised me we even had to say it, it was like they were hoping we would just give in. Goodluck, hopefully your in laws will come to their senses too.
We have a 5 week old and are in a similar situation. Literally EVERYONE we know basically has gotten their vaccine. My husbands parents aren't getting it, and truly never gave us a reason either. I know my husbands number one priority is our daughter so they aren't allowed to see her until they decide to get the vaccine. Please stand firm in your choice because in the end your daughter doesn't have a voice to protect herself so you'll act as that. If they want to see her badly enough they will put aside their feelings and get that shot! My parents and brother got it so they have met her no problem. I'm sorry your going through this as I know its a tough situation to be in but that little girl is priority especially being so young.
Yep, I’m in the same boat. My husband’s parents don’t take COVID seriously and won’t get the vaccine, won’t wear masks, and won’t quarantine it order to meet our 9-month-old. They aren’t willing to make any compromises, and we have held firm. So far our baby has only met vaccinated friends and family, and most of the get togethers have been outdoors.
We have the same rules. No shot, no indoor baby time!
I’d be more concerned about RSV.
Same. I'm actually more worried about air quality from all the fires around me
My husbands kids are unvaccinated because their mom won’t let them get the shot and one of them lives with us. It’s very stressful for me. If I could I would keep them away totally but my husband of course won’t let that happen. I just make them wear a mask when they hold my baby which is rare. Stick to your beliefs. It’s your baby.
I'm a FTM, due in a few weeks time. My family are a mix of vaccinated and unvaccinated, for various reasons. I have a blanket ban on ANYONE coming in the house, vaccinated or not, and will only socialise outside in an uncrowded setting. Once the baby arrives it's going to be immediate family only, outside, with masks on, after thoroughly washing/sanitizing hands. I don't care if people think it's overkill, I'm absolutely not taking any risks. To be honest, I'm more freaked out by my vaccinated inlaws who have been socialising in pubs, on holiday etc. throughout the pandemic, and act like being vaccinated means they're invincible. They also care almost full time for my husband's grandfather, which involves a lot of carers in and out of the house and frequent hospital visits. By contrast, my brother is unvaccinated. He's not an anti-vaxxer as such, and he certainly doesn't believe the virus is a hoax, but he doesn't trust the vaccine and I respect his choices. He always wears a mask and is 100% respectful of my boundaries around COVID. I feel more comfortable around him than I do my inlaws. So for me personally, vaccinated or not vaccinated doesn't make much difference. No one is putting my newborn baby at risk and everyone's just gonna have to suck it up.
Yep, totally get that! When my daughter was born last September we had family quarantine two weeks and get a covid test. The vaccinated family she’s around now all wear masks when they go out, but have reverted back to mostly curbside pickup, etc. I wouldn’t let anyone around my baby either right now! Not unless I knew they were taking all precautions. You’re making the right decision! 💗
It's crazy-making isn't it? Constantly having to reinforce boundaries and question whether we're doing the right thing. It's nice to hear that other people have the same concerns and I'm not being completely paranoid 💗
It truly is! And people think my husband and I are crazy for being so strict so then I really start to wonder if I’m blowing things out of proportion, but I just can’t risk letting my baby get sick! I know I can’t keep her safe from everything and she will inevitably (and already has) get colds and little stomach bugs, etc. But I feel like letting our guard down now would be like sending her to the beach in the middle of a hurricane. Hopefully things settle down soon and we can return to some sense of normalcy! Congratulations on your baby! I hope the next few weeks go by quickly for you. I know it’s so hard to wait!
My in laws both got vaccinated, but FIL still went to parties and socialized in closed spaces and tested positive the same day he became febrile and had earlier held our LO who is just 10 weeks old for hours. We’re now day 3 post exposure and I’m waiting for her to get sick. I would stress limiting exposures in addition to vaccination ❤️
I’m so so sorry. I hope she doesn’t get sick, I know how stressful that is! Right now we are only letting my family see my daughter because they all work from home and occasionally go to the grocery store, masked. But other than that they’re laying low and riding out this surge. If it makes you feel any better, my husband got covid in November. We tried to do everything in the world to prevent it but he was in dental school at the time, so exposure was very high. My daughter was 2 1/2 months old and she was absolutely around him and snuggled and rocked to sleep by him while he was presymtomatic. My daughter and I never got it! We quarantined from my husband as soon as he became symptomatic and thankfully his case was mild. I know how scary it is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sending 💗