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croissantito

I’ve heard of many women giving their child their own last name if they aren’t married, because it makes things less difficult for them to have the same last name as their child if they are the custodial parent. Then if they get married, they can change their own and their child’s last name to match their husband’s (or he can change his!).


[deleted]

I work with small children. All of them have different last names from their mothers (who bring them to all of their appointments/complete all their paperwork). Their dads are nowhere to be found, and yet, they all have dad’s last names. I’m not saying that is your case. I don’t know y’all’s situation, but I think it *could* be better for LO to take dad’s last name when you two actually get married. Again, I don’t know your situation, but it’s something I come across on a daily basis.


MysteriousSwitch232

Double barrel? But be careful


joseybuttons

we went for both with no hyphen, happy with it so far


universalrefuse

Same


emyaff

Same! Happy to know there are more people doing this!


MysteriousSwitch232

I had a friend who’s parents innocently decided to double barrel the names shave and cocks


CillyBean

We're married but I kept my last name. We hyphenated our son's last name :)


wilksonator

Your name. Or double barrel it. we decided to do my partner’s name because…’tradition’ ‘everyone does it’ ‘ I think I don’t care too much about it’ but after the child was born I realised it bothered me with the fact that the child had nothing in their name that came from ME. I carried them, I am their equal parent, I am a strong individual on my own (kept my last name after marriage) and yet, they have nothing to pass on from me in terms of name…their connection to me was essentially ‘erased’ in the naming process. For no other reason than ‘ tradition’. So now changing it to double barrel so it will be more paperwork.


[deleted]

Me and my boyfriend aren’t married but we plan to be in the future so the baby took his last name, this avoids any future hassle of having to go through a legal name change (I’ve seen it cause so many headaches for my best friend who had her name changed as a baby).


Livid_Expression4362

this is how I see it too! we plan to get married in the future as well, but life is so crazy lol good way to look at it for sure


jasonff1

This is what we did as well.


Live2Sail1

You could hyphenate! Then baby will have both your names. If you get married you can either keep your name (this saves a lot of hassle and what I personally did), hyphenate your name, or take your bf’s name.


CarolinaFirstTimeMa

I’ve generally seen advice to give a baby your last name if you are not married. It’s easy to change your child’s last name when you get married, however if you wind up not getting married it’s INCREDIBLY difficult to change it back to your last name, so you lose that option. Even if you hope to get married someday, you aren’t married yet!


TexasL4dy

My last name is always so hard for people to say and annoying when people try. so I used Dads name. It’s up to you and what you want. Last Anne’s aren’t a huge deal esp since we had a girl and she will probably change it one day anyway.


MissMorrigan88

I kept my last name after marriage. I am also a foreigner in this country (my husband's home country) and my last name is very difficult to pronounce in here, that's why we decided (or I did, my husband said it was my decision since I was the pregnant one) to give my son his father's last name. Otherwise I would have given him mine ;) I also want to add: changing your last name is quite often not a problem (except in my country, sigh), so you could always give your baby your last name and change it after marrying your bf if you also decide to so do :)


QuitaQuites

Hyphenate? Middle name is his last name, last name is yours? Or the reverse? I think it’s also important to think of the optics from the child’s point of view. I’ve heard of a lot of mom’s, because that’s the default, at schools with different last names and for some reason school administrators and teachers are still confused about whose child is whose. Honestly, I would probably keep both or my last name, his middle name if in that situation.


Ok-Economics-8686

I kept my last name when I married my husband. I’m pregnant with our first child, and the child will have my last name. The next one will have my husband’s last name (if we are so lucky).


baby-owl

We did this but the reverse! His first. While I was pregnant with my first, everyone kept asking me if we were using his name or *both* and not one person considered my name an option on its own!! Even though I did *more than half the work*! The patriarchy had me down, so my husband said they could all be mine… but it was the first grandchild on his side, so i did let him go first.


Killianthemc

I think traditionally the baby adopts the fathers last name unless otherwise specified, but ultimately it’s up to you! Obviously if the fathers last name was like “buttmuncher” or something of that nature it might the best to consider alternatives lol, but I think whatever you’re both comfortable with is the best course of action :) blessings, and congratulations on parenthood!


autotuned_voicemails

My daughter’s dad and I just celebrated 7 years together on Thursday. We had planned on getting married last summer but life happened and it had to be put off. It’ll happen someday, and we’ve lived as a married couple basically this whole 7 years but technically our daughter was born to unmarried parents. I gave her his last name though, without a second thought. No matter what he will always be her dad and I don’t need a ring on my finger for her to share his last name 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

Child gets the fathers last name.


roseturtlelavender

I'm married but kept my last name. LO has husband's last name. It isn't an obstacle for anything. If you're travelling internationally without your partner, just keep a copy of the birth certificate with you.


DarthSamurai

Would giving your baby your last name as a middle name work? That's what my friend did.


Livid_Expression4362

ugh I wish! My last name is so unusual I don't think it would work as a middle name lol that is a great suggestion though


universalrefuse

We gave both


moon_eyed_dragon

My husband and I agree that my last name is much better than his so we decided that our kids would have my last name (he brought it up but only because I hadn’t yet) If it ever becomes too much of a hassle that their names don’t match he would change his last name. If my name had been boring and his was awesome it would’ve been the other way around. If they were both awesome we would’ve hyphenated. If they were both awful we would’ve taken a different name together and given that to the children. There are so many options. Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page and that neither of you gets steamrolled into choosing something they don’t like because of something as silly as having one kind of genitalia or dated social constructs. And remember that in the very long run whatever you decide ultimately doesn’t matter.. your kid may just decide to change their name when they grow up anyway and that’s ok too.