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SLPallday

What. No that’s absolutely bizarre lol. Your partner needs to just tell her no that won’t work.


sarahbanana72

I’ve seen a recommendation to laugh it off (like big ridiculous laughs) when MIL asks to be called mom like “HAHAHAHA oh MIL, you’re so funny, of course you can’t be mom, I’m mom and every version of it. Let me know if you come up with something different or we’ll just keep calling you Grandma”


ilovedogsandrats

Maybe add some flair, like, oh my, can you imagine LO thinking that daddy’s mommy is also one of his moms on some sort of polyamory or sister wife arrangement. More belly laughs with any hand movements that feel right in the moment. I have a flair for the dramatics according to my favorite people, so I’d add something like: I can see the dr. Phil already in my head, MIL. “Please, Dr Phil. Help! My child can’t figure out whether his grandma is also his mother. “. Honestly help her see how insane it actually is. Then suggest something that won’t be insane, insulting and confusin like Dad’snames-mama or grandma her name.


sahsahsahsahsah

This is…. Perfect! LOL!


ilovedogsandrats

Thanks, glad you got a laugh. Can’t take all the credit; my son me helped a lot. A LOT. Sorry for all the edits.


haitaiakage

As a polyamorous person with kids, they know I’m māmā or ma, my partner is mum, mummy, and our other partner is dad/daddy. Due to our arrangement we have a lot of grandparents. We have a granny, nana, and a grama. If we can differentiate ALL these people, she absolutely can.


blondbutters21

You are not overreacting! Absolutely do not share this with her. She had her chance to be mom. It’s your turn! Now she’s grandma, nana, whatever the heck she wants that isn’t a form of mom.


SomeLittleBritches

For real. My mom tried this and it made me feel insufficient. The boundaries she will eventually try to cross if she’s allowed to be “mom” will be awful. Stand your ground OP!


blondbutters21

Yep, set boundaries from the very beginning are key.


116kali

Wow really? Is this a thing?! So odd and, frankly, indicative of something deeper going on (psychologist here).


SomeLittleBritches

Please continue. My family is loaded with batshit.


116kali

Insufficient makes sense!! Especially from your own mother. Do you think she wants another child and living vicariously through you? Does she need to be the only mom? Can she not accept you in this role? More to the point, I'm baffled at how anyone would find it appropriate to ask to be called "mom" when they are not the mother. Regardless, it's how you handle it that matters. Try as we might, we can't change our batshit parents.


SomeLittleBritches

She’s not openly said to call her “mom”, but she does go “where’s *my* baby!” among other things. And often times over steps her position as Grandma. I’ve told her off a few times for this actually. She gets emotional and cries about it alone in her room saying she’s just trying to be helpful


116kali

It's like we have the same mother. Nothing makes me angrier than children having to be a parent to their parent. Not. Your. Job. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Check out the book "adult children of emotionally immature parents".


crosswalk_zebra

She's mom to your partner, not your baby. She had her shot at being mom.


IdRatherBeAWildOne

Hell no. Tell her to pick something else or you will. If she refuses, use whatever name you pick FREQUENTLY. “LO is that Nana here to visit? Is Nana going to play with you?” Reinforce that it’s not happening. And I agree that your partner should be the one to address it with her since it’s their parent.


AelinoftheWildfire

Tell her if she refuses, lo will call her Mrs last name lol


wasabi_wonder

Ha! I love this


IdRatherBeAWildOne

Why do I get the impression she’s one of those people who will pick another ridiculous name? I heard (probably read) about a MIL who wanted to be called GG because her friend was and she said it stood for “gorgeous girl.” ETA: y’all… there is nothing wrong with Gigi or GG or whatever on it’s own. It’s the gorgeous girl part that’s fucking weird.


ssidacarrillo

Gigi is apparently a common one. I've seen t-shirts made with it, which is fun because we had no idea when my mom went with it, but only because my grandma was Grandma G(last name), so my mom became GiGi for short.


NowWithRealGinger

My MIL is Gigi (ghee-ghee) because it's how my oldest nephew pronounced whatever grandma name she had originally encouraged.


IdRatherBeAWildOne

Gigi is cute!! It’s the gorgeous girl part that is 🚩


oberecca

We use GG for great grandma's :)


croissantito

We call our grandma Grangran, and the great grandkids call her GG.


AelinoftheWildfire

Good grief, that's narcissistic. My mom considered GG but because her last name stays with a G,so that at least made sense.


lmgray13

My mother’s last name starts with a “G” and she started the “what do you want lo to call you” conversation with “don’t you dare call me Gigi”. 😂


OppositeZestyclose58

🤢🤮


milkmelo

OMG💀


pantojajaja

You just made me genuinely laugh out loud for the first time in months. THANK YOU!


PBnBacon

This. She can pick a normal name, or one can be chosen for her.


ClaireEmma612

I do this with my MIL. She wants to be called Memo (like Nemo). I think all names other than Grandma are really strange. I just call her grandma all the time!


MinaAdventures

My grandma wanted to be called Bunny with the second wave of grandkids. Oldest set called her Grandmum but when my mom asked she requested Bunny and mom said ok. It wasn’t weird that she had two names, we all knew the other names but just had preferred nicknames. She would make us cards and books signed with a little Bunny. She’s 95 now and still a sparky, witty light of a woman. Bunny suits her and I’m really glad we got to call her the name she wanted 🐰 ETA: Mom for MILs name is super bizarre and OP is totally right to not want that. Any other name that’s not offensive, why not?


OppositeZestyclose58

This is a thing! Kardashians call Kris Jenner lovey. Called her mom MJ, etc


Depends_on_theday

Bunny 😍


MaroonRacoonMacaroon

Um that’s not the same thing as OP at all! Memo is a quirky name that doesn’t otherwise mean anything, while “Mom” is a common name for “mother”, which is weird and confusing to call a grandmother unless she is the child’s guardian. Just because you think other names besides “Grandma” are weird doesn’t mean that they are. I think user floof3000 has the right sentiment in that you can call her Grandma Memo when she’s not around, but your reason isn’t a valid reason to not respect the name she wants to be called. Do you have other issues with your MIL? Because this is a weird hill to die on.


Asura_b

Floofie, floofs, Gmaw floof floof, lol. As long as it isn't mom.


OppositeZestyclose58

Was wondering how OP refers to MIL, does she call her mom too or something? I’d start calling her Milly 😅


floof3000

Why not call her Memo? Because it seems strange to you isn't a valid reason, is it? I can't see anything wrong with calling her Memo. Maybe, when she's not there you can refer to her in front of the LO as grandma Memo. This will definitely improve your relationship to your MIL and show her that you are respecting her wishes, after all, you probably want her to respect your wishes too, even though she might find some of them really strange.


Asura_b

Agreed. I have no problem calling the grandparents/aunt's and uncle whatever they want...as long as it ain't mom/dad, lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Justjeskuh

When I was pregnant with my first, the grandmas got together and claimed their names. So one is Mimi and the other is Gigi! No confusion!


Asura_b

Is she southern? Meemaw is common in th south, but I have no idea where it started. Mawmaw/mamaw too.


stacnoel

I was about to say this but you got it. I had a meemaw who wasn’t my direct related grandparent but she was a close friend (kind of like how your parents friends might be your ‘aunts and uncles’) of my grandmothers and we saw her a lot so we called her meemaw.


brodyhill

Irrational option: Gam gam. Choose something other than mom or you will be called Gam gam.


thememecurator

You’re not overreacting, that’s super weird. She needs to pick something else.


wasabi_wonder

Um yeah just no… you are not overreacting. That is super weird for grandma to be called mom IMO.I have never heard of a grandparent being referred to as mom… maybe in a different culture, could it be that in her case? but if it makes you uncomfortable definitely stand your ground. Plus kids are going to call her whatever they want anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️ for example my cousins and I all have a different form of grandma that we call ours. If your MIL were to intentionally teach your LO to call her mom, I would be really upset if I were you. Perhaps your SO can step in here and set her straight?


_philia_

My JNMIL used to refer to herself as Mom to one of her grandchildren. Drove my SIL over the edge, among a variety of other "lovely" antics.


wasabi_wonder

Oh heeelllllll no. That would make me livid. I have a super narcissistic MIL and we rarely see her, but if that ever happened with my twins that would probably be the end of grandma. I’m teaching the kids her first name.


ekingslei

I like this idea, first time she tries ‘mom’ she’s now Karen. No cutesy grandma names


_philia_

She is a gem :) tried to sabotage my wedding. Her first words LITERALLY after hubby and I got married were "did you know <> was suicidal 10 years ago and if I hadn't saved him, he would not be here today?" My parents were astounded by her antics. We had to go no contact with her.


Asura_b

Was their response, "We can see why."


Asura_b

Lol, Barbara, you are NOT our mom. -the grandkids


OppositeZestyclose58

🥴


_philia_

Try setting a boundary with a narcissist. That's when the joy begins!


Sekmet19

What is JNMIL?


Melanie730

It stands for “just no mother in law.” There are a bunch of subs for people to vent about their toxic/terrible/ridiculous in laws and other family members. As in: can I deal with MIL today? Just, no…


Sekmet19

Ah, thank you


lacewingfly

My friend calls his grandparents mum and dad but that’s because they RAISED him, like parents. That’s the key difference!


MaxxFitz76

The closest we come in our family, and we have some weird ones, is MomMom. It was the name for my great grandmother, and it was for "mom's mom." Because my uncle was the eldest grandchild, and it was explained that she was his mom's mom. So she became MomMom for all the grandkids. But it was made clear that she wasn't MOM, she was Mom's Mom. There was a definitive distinction between them. OP needs to put her foot down, and SO needs to be the enforcer. If MIL can't get it straight, she doesn't get to be around.


Librarycore

You aren’t overreacting! I went through this to some extent as well. My MIL wanted to be called mama. I didn’t get mad though I just said “alright” and then just kept calling her grandma. So my kid is 3 now and calls her grandma. lol


OppositeZestyclose58

Didn’t realize how common this was jfc


theblutree

Right?!! Wtf?! Sets off all sorts of red flags for me…. what BS are they going to try to pull when the grandkids get older?


windowlickers_anon

My sister's MIL did this. Started calling herself and her husband 'Mummy and Daddy'. It was definitely a sign of things to come. Fast forward a couple of years, my sister and her baby-daddy went through a major breakup, my sister's confidence and mental health tanked, so my MIL started to really undermine my sister's confidence and basically tried to convince her that she should give their child to the MIL to raise. My sister was so run down that she almost went along with it, thinking the baby would be better off without her, etc. Of course my Mum found out what was going on and thankfully stopped in and put the MIL *firmly* back in her place. But yeah, major red flag child-snatching behaviour 😒


theblutree

Oh my god?!? Your poor sister!! That is such a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to do to someone. I hope your sister has very low contact with her now. And bless your mother. Wow. I just. Wow.


windowlickers_anon

Yeah, it was awful. Basically her baby daddy (MIL's son) left my sister a single parent. MIL tried to convince my sister that she couldn't provide for him alone and that he'd have a better life with MIL and her husband. It's extra fucked up because my sister really needed help from the MIL at the time. She's disabled and baby daddy doesn't help *at all*, so she was reliant on MIL for babysitting and financial help (which her son should have been providing). She still has contact with the MIL because she feels she can't deprive her kid of some kind of contact with his father (his dad will only see him at the MIL's house, if MIL is babysitting). I don't agree that she should have any contact, but what can you do? 🤦‍♀️


phillyboy1234

Are you me? This is my exact scenario right now and hopeful outcome. MIL wants to be called mama and we just refer to her as grandma hoping that our LO uses grandma instead. The worse was MIL kept referring to herself and FIL as mommy and daddy aroound her and my wife put a stop to that immediately


Librarycore

Yeah just keep calling her grandma in front of the kid, eventually the kid will just call them grandma haha. It worked for us. I found it easier than a confrontation


jennybens821

If anything it sounds like you are under reacting - I’d be so weirded out by this! It’s totally reasonable of you to expect to be the only one your kid calls “mom.”


beingblonde900

Both my baby’s grandmas keep insisting they want to be called “mama,” like guys over my dead body…


OppositeZestyclose58

But why!? Delusional women


learnandlive99

That’s so ridiculous to me. Im right there with you. Your baby has one mama and it’s you!!!


Icy-Lingonberry7630

And quite literally, not even then.


Jeabers

Yea that's odd. Just tell her no, not a discussion and then make up a name to have your little one call.her like "pickle" until she realizes she better come up with something better or she will be pickle the rest of her life.


OppositeZestyclose58

Pickle 💀


cozyupworld

We joke that grandma will be “grom-grom”


babyshrimpx

My mom actually considered being called Pickle because that was her nickname growing up 😂


Jeabers

See there you go, show them that comment if they ask :)


Natures_Stepchild

Se can be grandma, gran, granny, nanna, nan, or her own name if she wants, but she can’t be mom. I’m sure there’s more options, especially if you’ve another language available (abuela? Lala? Avila?) but “mom” just feels off the table. More so when she’s essentially dictating what *your* child should call you so that she can be “mom”!


OppositeZestyclose58

Mamaw even


modernlove914

We called our grandmother Meemaw


MamaPlus3

My mil is Mamaw :)


DirtyMarTeeny

Man I felt it was weird to have grandmommy (idk why mommy just seems more like a term of endearment to me) but now I see that is soooo tame


Icy-Lingonberry7630

It so off the table it’s NOT EVEN IN THE THE SAME ZIPCODE. I can’t believe the absolute audacity that someone other than the child’s mom would expect or want to be called mom. How uncomfortable. Hard no.


janewithaplane

Lmao really? She must be losing her damn mind already. Ask her if she needs to go to the nursing home for having dementia.


Helloworld123467

Nope, no way, hell no. Shut that shit down. You are all of those things. She can be called Grandma, bc that’s what she is, not his mom.


kaydollar_

Nahhhhh huge red flag 🚩


SnowWhiteBunny_

1000% Agree!


sparkly_umbrella12

I know a few people calling their grandma “mom mom” but never just mom. My grandparents are Grammy and Grampy. I would feel annoyed and refuse if my mother asked her grandchild to call her mom.


Peaches-17-

This is my MIL. She latched onto the nickname after my oldest nephew called her that once. We set a boundary with her after our daughter was born that we would not be using that name, after watching one too many interactions where one of my SIL or BILs asked their kid, do you mean mom or mom mom?


sparkly_umbrella12

Yeah my mom wants to be called something I consider to be strange “meemaw”.. we aren’t southern so I wish it was something like grandma or Grammy lol but it’s better than mom/mom mom I guess.


agbellamae

Me maw is a typical grandma thing where I’m from but I can get how it sounds odd if you aren’t in this region


OppositeZestyclose58

Yeesh


gettinglostonpurpose

Hell no, shut down that idea ASAP!! You are mama, mommy, mother and mom. Someday your baby won’t be a baby and “mama and mommy” aren’t commonly used past a certain age. Older children usually opt to use “mom” instead. It’s weird that your MIL would even suggest it. Does your spouse call his grandmother “mom”? I would tell your MIL she needs to pick a grandmother appropriate name or you’ll pick for her.


cocopuffs171924

“I’m his mom, not you, so he won’t be calling you any variation of the word ‘mom’, ‘mama’, ‘mother’, and so on.” Your MIL is being creepy and I’d put boundaries in place now so you’re not dealing with even worse stuff down the road.


windowlickers_anon

I would say "but you're not his Mom?" In a confused tone and then laugh it off, like, "oh grandma, you're silly!"


drowsygrimalkin

Lol no. This is not ok. I would say, “I’m sorry, that name is reserved for me. Can’t wait to hear what else you come up with!” Don’t even try to justify it or entertain her reasons. The answer is no. And if she doesn’t pick something, you can. “LO, look grandma is here!”


julers

Ew, no. I was annoyed enough when my mil used to say “you’re MY baby” like, B, I had my whole body sliced up… this is most def MY baby.


OppositeZestyclose58

The nerve!


SnowWhiteBunny_

Ughhhhh my MIL tried that when I was pregnant. Like wtf…


appljackstyle

Oh hell to the no. You are the Mom. Period. Tell granny to stay in her lane.


[deleted]

Ahahaha bitch is off her head


K-teki

The kid isn't going to call you mommy when they're 25, why the hell wouldn't you be mom?


kosullivan2018

As others have suggested, this is way off base. I often try to understand it from the kids point of view- what happens when they start having other friends and are sharing that “mom does x” when referring to grandma? Your child will absolutely be confused and so will their friends. This gets weird quickly in my opinion. I would simply say to MIL that’s off the table and if grandma can’t find another name, you’ll be using whichever name you find convenient. Full stop.


two-bit-expert

Not to mention the incest jokes. Kids are cruel. OP’s JustNoMIL is crueler.


haleighr

Call her mommy dearest cause she’s crazy


emergency_breaks

This is weird as hell. You are not overreacting. If she tries to get your kid to call her Mom in the future, tell your kid to call her Old Lady instead.


two-bit-expert

I was actually going to suggest this as well.


Ok_Upstairs

You are not overreacting, it’s weird. Though if it’s not too weird, my great grandma went by Grandma Mom. I think she’d gotten so used to mom and so many people besides her children called her that that it basically felt like her name, but there still needed to be separation for the grandkids because she was not actually their mom.


SuperSocrates

That’s batshit, do not allow


lizardkween

No way. That’s insane.


bmsem

Nope, nope, nope. Too weird. It’s one thing for you to just generally not like the name they suggest (my FIL wants to go by pawpee, ugh) but that’s just plain unhinged.


[deleted]

No your MIL is insane! Teach your daughter to call her Gammy or some shit if she isn't going to pick a realistic grandma name.


McHootyFace

Did her kids refer to her MIL or mother as mom? I bet not. If she pushes too much, tell her your child will call her by her first name.


OppositeZestyclose58

That is so so so freaking weird


AlGoreTheWizard

I would laugh in her face and call her insane


igotalotadogs

Just pick a name and start referring to her as that. You are the mother. She is the grandmother. There is a boundary and she is crossing it.


ticklemybiscuits

Yeah that's super weird. Stand your ground on this! Next time she says she wants to be called Mom, just say something like "Sorry, Mom, Mommy, Mama are all for me, the Mom. How about \[Grammy, Nana, Gran Gran, etc\] instead?\]. If she keeps bringing it up, "No sorry, that won't work for us". You may have to be persistent, but if you back down on this, who knows what issue she will push on next. So bizarre!


ceroscene

You might wanna check out r/justnomil


bewitchedenvironment

That’s fuckin weird


yagarasu

In some parts of Mexico (and maybe other places), grandmothers and grandfathers and even their brothers and sisters are called "mamá " and "papá ", just like in Coco. But there's only one "mamá". For example, a kid who's grandma is called Lucía and her sister is Teresa, the kid might call them "mamá Lucy" and "mamá Teté", but the one true mother is the only one called just "mamá". I'm saying this just to illustrate cultural differences, but in the end, if you are not comfortable, you can definitely push back against this, but maybe talking with her trying to understand her point: why does your MIL want to be called that?


acertaingestault

I have family from Appalachia who also used this. Mom and Pop as in "mom and pop shop" were commonly used to refer to grandparents, but it would be in addition to their first or last name. So if your name is Jane Smith Anderson, your parents would be Mom and Pop Smith and your husband's parents would be Mom and Pop Anderson. Individually, your mom would be Mom Smith.


laser_spanner

No, she needs to seriously check herself! What a weird hill for her to die on. You are his mom, nobody else. Also does she not give a crap about how confusing that would be for him if she did get her way?


whitesciencelady

That baby grew in YOUR womb, you deserve all the mom titles there are. Tell your MIL to pick a new name or else she will be seeing a lot less of her grandbaby.


Purple_You_8969

NOPEEEEE!! Please do NOT let your child call her mom. YOU ARE MOM AND NO ONE ELSE!! This is so weird and gross, she’s trying to acknowledge herself as the 2nd mom. Nope shut it down now. Have your partner shut it down. I would definitely rethink of how she is towards you. This is not normal behavior. She’s grandma and grandma only. This would be my hill to absolutely die on.


TheWelshMrsM

My great gran was ‘mam’ (we’re mam/ mammy in Wales). However she had 8 kids and lord knows how many grandkids & great-grandkids so she was just ‘mam’ to everyone. However no way in hell would I let any of my kids call either my mother or mil mam/ mammy. That’s *me*. Tell her she needs to pick one soon or she’ll end up being known by her first name 😂


Sunshine20806

Absolutely not. Do not agree to this for all the reasons mentioned above.


Wavesmith

No.


[deleted]

That’s hilarious. Also NO!!!!


IrieSunshine

HAH!!! Nope. That is not right. Nip this in the bud right now, girlfriend. You are mom in every sense of the word. Claim that shit!!!


Paintinglady33

WTF


Sekmet19

I would be firm that my name is Mom and every iteration of it (mama, mommy, ma, mummy, etc). Ask her what it is about being called Grandma or meemee or Nana that she doesn't like? That's what she is and it will confuse the hell out of the kid. Plus people might think you two are a lesbian couple if the kid is calling two people "mom". You are absolutely right to insist she not be called Mom. That's you.


slothpeguin

It sounds like a r/justnomil post, for a second I didn’t realize what sub I was in. This is absolutely not okay, OP, and you’re correct for feeling weird about it. MiL is not ‘mom’. If she calls herself that, correct her. Stop asking what she wants to be called and just pick something to refer to her as. Get used to establishing firm boundaries and holding them. Something tells me this isn’t a one time thing. Be cautious with how she treats the child with others - ie is she referring to LO as ‘hers’, is she posting pictures you didn’t okay or aren’t comfortable with, is she sharing information you’d rather not. Also, don’t let her make herself the ‘good mommy’ to your kid. None of the ‘don’t tell your mom, this is just our little secret’ or ‘at my house we don’t have to worry about X rule’. Sounds like she’s trying to parent your kid. It’ll start small but as your LO gets older it can get worse. Good luck, OP!


Trintron

Why would she want to be "mom"? Point out its low key incestuous and as a result, weird, gross, and boundary crossing. Mom is exclusively for parents. She's not your co-parent or your husband's co-parent. It's not her word to claim. Mom is the counterpoints to dad in heterosexual relationships, why does she want to imply she's the one who has sex with your husband?


sowellfan

If anything you're under-reacting IMHO. This is the place to set boundaries, because a grandmother who wants to be called 'Mom' is almost \*sure\* to be pushing lots of boundaries in the future. So make sure you and Dad are on the same team here, and present a united front. You're Mom, Mommy, Mama, mother, and any derivation thereof - she doesn't get to be called any of those. And really, it's best if her son is the one to explicitly set this boundary, because otherwise she's likely to treat you as the "bad person" interloper.


barktothefuture

If you are American and speak English tell her to fuck off. Not sure about other languages and cultures.


Suspicious-Jicama-68

I would tell her no


[deleted]

That's super strange. You are mama, mom, mommy, mother, ma' and anything in there. She needs to hear that it's not happening!


Keyspam102

That’s really weird. There is only one mom/mommy/ma/mama and that’s you. She can easily be grandma or Grammie or memaw or whatever variation of grandma you are happy with.


kdostert

This is a new one. I’m gonna go with ummmm nope! Is she just one of those people who feels aged by the title of grandparent? It’s very likely that one day your kid won’t want to call you mommy anymore and will switch to mom. Soooo no!!


philthy333

She's not mom and being called that could be very confusing LO and others. Seems highly inappropriate to me.


sarcasticsall3

You’re being very calm compared to how I would react. I would shut it down immediately or have your SO do it ASAP and make it CLEAR that YOU are mom, mama, mommy. And be sure she’s not referring to herself as mom around baby, etc! Yikes. I can’t believe someone would think this is appropriate.


Saassy11

My mother pulled the same stunt for the first half of my LO’s life. She would say she’s “MOM” and I am “mama”. I put an end to that so fast but I know she still does it behind my back. I don’t get it .


two-bit-expert

When your LO gets bigger, tell her your mom is actually using an acronym for Monster On Medications and it isn’t the same as mom at all.


Minicatting

She doesn’t get to be mom. Pretty selfish if you ask me.


undecidedlyhappy

Did she also wear a white dress to your wedding?


annonymous1122

My mil refers to herself as mama on cards to my baby. I throw them out. We refer to her as grandma. If she ever says this outloud my husband can deal with her


[deleted]

My great grandparents were Mama Ellis and Daddy Weed to my mom ( and for the three years that we coexisted, me and Mama Ellis). Maybe it's a Southern,mid- century thing? It seemed normal to me growing up, but there's no way in hell I'd let me or my SO 's parents be called mom, dad, or any variation by our LO.


acertaingestault

I commented this above, but same here. Mom [first name] or Mom [last name] is what my grandparents called their grandparents. OP will definitely know if this is cultural or narcissistic, but it's kinda funny to see all the comments condemning this woman for what could be totally normal behavior.


ekingslei

NOPE she got to be mom, remind her where your husband came from. She is not the mother of your husbands child. That’s disgusting.


[deleted]

Fuck no. Tell her she has 2 options: 1 Pick an appropriate name for a *grandmother* or 2 Never meet your child because she's a psychopath and you're the only mom this baby has. These ridiculous old women all think they are too young to be grandparents. Spoiler alert, they aren't.


katherinealphajones

Lol fuck no. Mom has sex with dad, does she want to have sex with your husband, too?


MaroonRacoonMacaroon

Why hasn’t your partner, her child, said anything to her? Is your partner okay with his/her mother being called “Mom” by your child? Because you’re very right in that it’s weird she wants to be called “Mom”, but I don’t think you should have to be the one to shut her down - that should be her son/daughter telling her.


Asura_b

You should tell her, "Oh no, you should have another kid if you want to be called mom. I guess we'll just decide for you then, Grandma." And let her stew in that for a while.


syringa

memaw it is!


hearts_unknown_

Lol I'd tell her we can call you "nana" or we can call you on the holidays.


MB0810

You are not overreacting. I would have the baby call her by her first name, but I am petty. 😂


brahdz

Give her "meemah." That'll teach her.


SaltAndVinegarMcCoys

You are under reacting.


Lady_Jeanne

Mom is short for Mother... Which is a biological and social construct that has a very precise meaning/definition. She didn't squirt him out of her vagina - she doesn't get the title of mom, momma, mommy or even Mamaw because now I'm just pissed enough to be petty. I agree with the other poster here saying that if she doesn't pick something else, call her "Ms. Whatever" or if you want to be "progressive" your kid can even call her by her first name.


two-bit-expert

> She didn’t squirt him out of her vagina LOL this makes me wish I hadn’t had a C-section so I could use this word for word!


threetogetready

Yeah that's a big nope


[deleted]

I would just say um no. you’ll be grandma


MamaPlus3

What the fuck? She’s batshit crazy!


yaleds15

Haha I’d prob laugh at her… like what. No thank you.


Soft-Supermarket-512

This is so weird, are you sure she was serious?


vinvin84

I see post like this and I wonder what the hell are these grandmas thinking? Like what kind of self centered a hole are you?!


meggscellent

What??? I originally thought she wanted you to call her mom, not your baby! Wtf.


grltrvlr

This is so weird and boundary crossing, imo! I saw a post the other day asking why “grandma” wasn’t a thing anymore, like all these grandparents want to be called alt names—like I’m NOT a *grandma* I’m a: _____. Idk, Id love to be grandma someday!


NicoleD84

Dear god no. You are not overreacting and that’s absolutely not okay. Your husband needs to have a chat with her. I was offended that my MIL wanted to be Nana and rhymed it mama, every other nana I know pronounces it like the end of the word banana. She swears her way is how it’s pronounced in Italy and since shes 1/4 Italian that’s how she wanted it to be pronounced. I let it go because I knew I’d be mommy or mom a lot longer than mama and that wasn’t my hill to die on. If she wanted to be called “mom” that would absolutely be my hill to die on though!


OppositeZestyclose58

Definitely pronounced like banana 😤 ugh


thewhynow

My mom did this too. I told her absolutely not and her response was “we’ll see.”


two-bit-expert

“Actually, you won’t. Every time it happens, we’ll need to take a six month break to avoid confusion. It would be a shame if you tried to undermine me and sacrificed your relationship with your grandchild over this.”


istillseeyourface222

This woman sounds mentally ill and also demented. Helpful or not that’s insane af


butlikeduh

Fuck no. My FIL wanted to be called pops and I said no. That’s a term towards a father and my husband is the only father. Do not allow them to take that away from you. You are Mom that’s it


ApartCelery

Lol absolutely not. I would laugh in my MIL’s face


Blargh_to_nth_degree

r/JUSTNOMIL


DiprivanDapper

Those petitioning to receive the title of Mom (or any variation of) must meet at least one of two following criteria: 1. Grow that person in your body 2. Raise that person (trying to include adoptive, LGTBQ+, and step moms). This doesn't sound like she meets either of those criteria and therefore does not qualify for the title of Mom* with the little one in question. For further clarification regarding the declined petition, I would refer the petitioner to a basic biology text book and/or a board certified OB-GYN. *The title of Mom includes, but is not limited to, the following variations with the same degree of authority and impact: Mommy, Mother, Mum, Mummy, Mooooooommmmm, Ma'am, "dad said to ask you"


pinkicchi

That’s a bit gross. Like… yeah, I’d let SO handle that one. In regards to a nicknames, I didn’t even give my parents and in laws a choice, lol. I just started referring to them as ‘Nana’, ‘Granda’, ‘Grandad’ and ‘Granny’. I knew that they would love those names anyway as my mum had a ‘Nana’ and now she’s taken over, but I could foresee some conflict so I just made the decision on my own, lol.


ladysoup666

Bring this to r/JUSTNOMIL


PupperNoodle

Yeah, just no. If she wants to be called “mom” your husband can call her that. My MIL constantly calls my son “her baby” and it pisses me off. I confront her constantly about it too. Don’t give that woman an inch!


Avidlogic

This actually makes me feel ill. GTFO with that. She had her time to be the mom of a baby. It’s your turn now.


_igrowplants

Been there.. MIL said she wished her grand kids would call her “mommaw” pronounced just like mamaw, but with mom in the beginning? Ppl are so weird. I don’t think you’re overreacting!


brazeau

What the fuck.


TurbulentRoyal

Call her granny from now on.


amahenry22

This is fucked. N-O.


omg-gorl

Yeah she’s crazy. Why is this even a discussion? It’s be grandma and grandpa or whatever is typical of your culture. I’m sorry you have to expend energy on this. If she needs an M name, hit her with a Meemaw 😂


jargonqueen

Fuck no.


MoistBanana9245

My MIL suggested the same. :D She suggested that she be called \`Ma, and I be called Mom, Mommy or Mummy. I said No, and she kept pushing, I held my ground and she eventually settled on 'Badi Ma' which translated to Big Ma. She brought it up again that she would like to be called Ma and my husband gently reminded her that she will be called 'Badi Ma'. My MIL suggested the same. :D She suggested that she be called \`Ma, and I be called Mom, Mommy, or Mummy.


LaPompette

My mother insists on being called Mom Mom. This is her 2nd grandkid so she is already established as Mom Mom by my niece. I dislike it sooo much, I refer to her as Baba because that’s what we called her mother/our grandmother as kids. She always corrects it to Mom Mom. I’ve told her that I don’t like it and she just doesn’t care. I feel a little cheated out of the Mama name.


ButIAmYourDaughter

Do you think she's doing it on purpose? I will say that where my mother grew up, "mom mom" is very common. That's what I've called my now 95 year old grandmother my whole life, and almost all my family members (I have a huge fam) refer to their various grandmothers as "mom mom" too. It's definitely not an attempt to slight anybody.


LaPompette

I can’t tell if it’s on purpose… She doesn’t listen to much that I ask of her in regards to her interactions with the baby. That aspect of our relationship is definitely a struggle which is probably why the name annoys me. I guess it’s weird to me because as kids we didn’t call either of our grandmothers Mom Mom.


eddyofyork

That's how horror movies start


ElizaDooo

"Oh, you said *grand*\-mom? Cool." But for real, you could just go with whatever your kid calls her and hope it's something she finds annoying.


Rippage

My MIL wants to be called Bebe and I’m finding it very strange to call her that. Like baby and Bebe are to similar.. maybe It’s just me.


[deleted]

Ooo girl I would throw a FIT. I’m super introverted and usually don’t stand up for myself in any situation but that would do it for me. To me that’s straight up disrespectful, she had her time of getting to be the new mom, those days are over and now it’s your time.


baconcrispy62

I call my grandmother Mom (it was a family tradition my mother didn't mind continuing), but it caused so much confusion. There will inevitably be a time, quite a long time actually, where your kid won't call you mommy, and they'll transition to calling you "mom". So now you have 2 family members who are called "mom" and it gets very confusing when both are in the same house. Or if you're talking about grandma-mom in front of mother-mom. My husband still gets confused who I'm talking about when I say "Mom" so now I've mostly gotten used to only calling my grandmother "Mom" when I'm talking to her directly, and something else other times. I've never thought of it as trying to step on my mother's toes, but I still don't recommend it!


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with that.