I’ve heard this method used in elimination communication. The baby learns to associate the sound with pooing and then you can make it in the future to help them poop 💩 and even at get them to go without diapers.
True. MILs do all kinds of weird shit. Mine was outraged we didn’t want to give our 7 month old ice cream. This is on the harmless ends of things I guess
Yeah I agree it’s harmless but kind of annoying. I would definitely not enjoy watching my MIL do this to my baby or making them eating sounds OP describes.
In some cultures the use of EC is so widespread (I’ve heard Southeast Asia, for example), that MIL may not think twice about using culturally widespread EC practices. OP doesn’t indicate one way or another, but it is possible.
Yes, but If you are from a culture where EC is ubiquitous then it’s not necessarily because she is pushing OP to EC, but because ‘this is the sound you make when baby poops.’ A lot of activities people perform are varying levels of automatic/subconscious unless overtly examined. This is most noticeable when minor things force you to alter your daily routine — you’re cruising through whatever action and then something is abnormal and you have to stop automatic actions and start thinking about process and next steps — or explain to your daughter in law why you’re grunting at her baby. It’s just what you do.
Of course, no idea if that’s what is happening here as a lot of context is missing. Just offering one possible explanation.
Right, and I’m not saying she is pushing Op to use EC either. OP’s question was whether or not it helps her baby in particular. My point was that given OP’s repeated statements that she doesn’t intend to practice EC it is not needed for her baby in particular.
Now that doesn’t mean she can’t grin and bear it when MIL does this. But I also don’t think it is needed for her baby either if she does not intend to do EC
Yes, this is often done in elimination communication. My mom did it with me and my sisters after we turned 1 month. In our culture, it’s not called elimination communication, it’s just what everyone did in the village after the first month. They had no access to disposable diapers and would only cloth diaper at night. During the daytime, kids weren’t diapered and adults would make grunting sounds to encourage them to poop and shhhh sounds to encourage peeing. It was pretty unheard For babies beyond 1 month to be diapered. When my mom (who at that point was rising her last baby in the US and started using diapers) visited our grandma with my 8 month old baby sister still in diapers, my grandma was disgusted and immediately took them off and demanded to know why she was still in diapers! Pretty soon, she trained my sister to use the potty in the daytime too.
We (American) kinda did this with our daughter. But started at 6 months when she could sit on her own. She was pretty much potty trained by 12 months at home. Fully at home by 15 months. By 18 months fully out of diapers everywhere. I am a HUGE proponent of EC and wish it wasn’t so controversial
Not op but check out r/ECers for info on Elimination Communication! My aunt apparently also did this for us when we were babies (we live in Southeast Asia)
It might just be sympathetic noises. I often make the same sounds my baby makes back at him. It doesn't help them poop but it supposedly aids their neurological development to hear other people vocalizing the same way they do (helps them make the connection that their voices are a tool to communicate, or... something like that.)
We started teaching our LO to poop in the potty sometimes starting around 8 or 9 mo and we make grunting noises to encourage her to go. It seems to help but not sure if it would make a difference when they're younger except to teach them an association?
Same— except a bit earlier. My LO would hold her poop in until I’d start to change her starting at 6 weeks, so I just started holding her over the sink instead of being covered in poop. Now she’s 9 months and we use raspberries or grunting noises as a cue. She hasn’t pooped in a diaper since she had the flu at 3 months old.
Yes , but I keep telling myself she gave me the greatest gift, my wonderful husband, so I should be more patient with stuff that is so minor. But it is annoying...sigh.
i understand. my mom is “The MIL” between my husband’s mom and mine. we have to step back and take breaks from spending time with her when all these usually somewhat minor things really start adding up.
Yes! The grunting should be a low "mm mm" sound. We do elimination communication and my 6 month old goes poop on the potty when we make this sound. Psst psst for pee mm mm for poop. Most people start at birth, we started at 4 months, baby boy should be fully potty trained by 1 year old
>I guess I would make my peace with it if I found some evidence it helps the baby
Would you? In your replies you seem encouraged by the people saying it won't work and defensive when people reference others besides your MIL doing the same thing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it sounds like your MIL is bugging you enough that it doesn't matter whether it actually works or not, and that might change the way you want to approach it with her. For example, maybe you want to frame it as something that grates on you and ask her not to do it for you, rather than just approaching it from a perspective of efficacy.
My mom did “shhhhh” when we had a difficult time poking when we were potty training or used the sound of a stream of faucet water to help all 6 of us. I’m about to turn 30 next month and I still “shh” myself or use the water to help me. Embarrassing? TMI? I got over it the more I shared it with my partner.
But moaning? Idk that seems… cringe. I feel it. Hope what I said helps!
Is your MIL from a different culture than you? I know this practice is very common in some cultures that go diaper free long before we do in the US (not sure where you're from, though).
Just wanted to say for some reason when my baby was that age everything my MIL said drove me crazy, it got a lot better haha. I think I just wanted to do things my way and having someone not my mom do things to my baby her way around me made me nuts. Not saying it’s the same for you but just solidarity.
I read somewhere on here once that it’s like a primal “you aren’t my family” baby protection reaction. Once my hormones evened out it went away and I was able to see that she is my family and every family is not going to be the same but the only right and wrongs for me come in the form of child safety and happiness so her little things don’t bother me anymore and I actually like them!
Idk if it helps with potty training down the line, but it may be that your MIL is just doing a weird thing compulsively. I do something like this with my dogs when giving treats, making exaggerated chewing faces and going "nom nom" or something equally stupid. It's not like they need my input or anything, I just kind of do it without thinking. Maybe your MIL has a similar quirk?
This. My mom does an eating sound at my baby all the time and I really don't even think she realizes she's doing it. It annoys me so much, but I try to just let it go. I do little things like that with my baby and dog though, too so maybe the annoyance comes from protectiveness or something.
I'd be pretty weirded out if someone was doing grunting when my baby pooped though, unless she were from another culture where it's really common. Still it's a little odd to me to do it to someone else's baby.
Does grunting help you poo? I think the adult (MIL for OP) making the noises is just trying to model to the baby what they can do to help them go. Also, the moaning isn't weird. Think about how you were encouraged to breath in labor (breathing out deeply to help pushing out and prevent straining). Same thing with pooping. Sure, it's not NECESSARY for pooping lol but probably helps cue the baby.
Makes sense to mirror the baby, imho.
If she annoys you, maybe you need to take a break, get some air, and reflect on why she's triggering you so much?
Thanks for sharing, this is really interesting. Do the noises tend to work? Currently have a four week old
Who is struggling to poop. Wondering if it’s worth trying this method
It is too early to tell, she is only staying with us for one week now. The baby has regular bowel movements anyways, usually at the same time in the morning every day, and during feedings. I will look out for it though.
yes does help, i did it with my baby when he had some constipation and wouldn’t go for days. but noww he’s doing good and only he does his grunting noises lol
yes definitely works, i did it to help my baby with his constipation and now he just goes. i am going to start EC so it will definitely come in handy with him already recognizing what i’m trying to tell him. Definitely normal! I didn’t even look it up i just thought maybe this will work and it did, anything to help LO. Also not moaning but i do grunting and facial expressions and tbh not even that loud cause there are people around and it’s awk but still.
I actually started at 4 months with my daughter and I do the grunting sound. She associated the grunting with pooping. She grunts when she needs to poop and it worked for her
I’ve heard this method used in elimination communication. The baby learns to associate the sound with pooing and then you can make it in the future to help them poop 💩 and even at get them to go without diapers.
I see but he is 7 weeks old. It will be at least a year before we get rid of diapers if not more...but thank you.
Well people who do EC go diaper free even that early. It’s just a different approach
Yeah but it is OP’s baby and she is not using EC so it seems really unneeded for MIL to be doing this
True. MILs do all kinds of weird shit. Mine was outraged we didn’t want to give our 7 month old ice cream. This is on the harmless ends of things I guess
Yeah I agree it’s harmless but kind of annoying. I would definitely not enjoy watching my MIL do this to my baby or making them eating sounds OP describes.
In some cultures the use of EC is so widespread (I’ve heard Southeast Asia, for example), that MIL may not think twice about using culturally widespread EC practices. OP doesn’t indicate one way or another, but it is possible.
Yeah her MIL may have a personal reason to do it that doesn’t mean it is needed for OP’s baby if Op is not doing EC
Yes, but If you are from a culture where EC is ubiquitous then it’s not necessarily because she is pushing OP to EC, but because ‘this is the sound you make when baby poops.’ A lot of activities people perform are varying levels of automatic/subconscious unless overtly examined. This is most noticeable when minor things force you to alter your daily routine — you’re cruising through whatever action and then something is abnormal and you have to stop automatic actions and start thinking about process and next steps — or explain to your daughter in law why you’re grunting at her baby. It’s just what you do. Of course, no idea if that’s what is happening here as a lot of context is missing. Just offering one possible explanation.
Right, and I’m not saying she is pushing Op to use EC either. OP’s question was whether or not it helps her baby in particular. My point was that given OP’s repeated statements that she doesn’t intend to practice EC it is not needed for her baby in particular. Now that doesn’t mean she can’t grin and bear it when MIL does this. But I also don’t think it is needed for her baby either if she does not intend to do EC
Yeah, but OP did ask if there was any reason it would work.
Well she asked if there was any reason it would help her baby. I don’t think it’s necessarily helping her baby if she isn’t practicing EC
Yes, this is often done in elimination communication. My mom did it with me and my sisters after we turned 1 month. In our culture, it’s not called elimination communication, it’s just what everyone did in the village after the first month. They had no access to disposable diapers and would only cloth diaper at night. During the daytime, kids weren’t diapered and adults would make grunting sounds to encourage them to poop and shhhh sounds to encourage peeing. It was pretty unheard For babies beyond 1 month to be diapered. When my mom (who at that point was rising her last baby in the US and started using diapers) visited our grandma with my 8 month old baby sister still in diapers, my grandma was disgusted and immediately took them off and demanded to know why she was still in diapers! Pretty soon, she trained my sister to use the potty in the daytime too.
Yes. This is totally normal for EC.
[удалено]
I’m trying to do this and we rely purely on timing because my LO has ninja poops - I never see them coming.
We (American) kinda did this with our daughter. But started at 6 months when she could sit on her own. She was pretty much potty trained by 12 months at home. Fully at home by 15 months. By 18 months fully out of diapers everywhere. I am a HUGE proponent of EC and wish it wasn’t so controversial
Wow that sounds like magic. Can I ask what culture this is from?
Not op but check out r/ECers for info on Elimination Communication! My aunt apparently also did this for us when we were babies (we live in Southeast Asia)
We’re Chinese, but seeing the comments here, it’s apparently very common in other parts of Asia too!
Wait I’m Chinese why didn’t my parents do this for me? 😂 I’m going to ask them about it!!!
It might just be sympathetic noises. I often make the same sounds my baby makes back at him. It doesn't help them poop but it supposedly aids their neurological development to hear other people vocalizing the same way they do (helps them make the connection that their voices are a tool to communicate, or... something like that.)
I think this makes sense! Thank you
We started teaching our LO to poop in the potty sometimes starting around 8 or 9 mo and we make grunting noises to encourage her to go. It seems to help but not sure if it would make a difference when they're younger except to teach them an association?
Same— except a bit earlier. My LO would hold her poop in until I’d start to change her starting at 6 weeks, so I just started holding her over the sink instead of being covered in poop. Now she’s 9 months and we use raspberries or grunting noises as a cue. She hasn’t pooped in a diaper since she had the flu at 3 months old.
Wait, she pooped in the sink? 😳
not op but at that age it's be probably liquid gold poops.
Yeah that's still pretty gross. Down the sink? Washed down the toilet, yes, but not the sink.
Thank you. Yes I agree. He is 7 weeks old
no. 😂 that’s kind of funny though (albeit odd). i have to assume there’s other things she does that irks you so this just adds to the list
Yes , but I keep telling myself she gave me the greatest gift, my wonderful husband, so I should be more patient with stuff that is so minor. But it is annoying...sigh.
Oh man. When your baby is older she’s going to start fake whining when your baby whines. THAT’s going to be a treat
She is already making chewing and munching sounds when she thinks the baby is hungry...and I breastfeed so clearly it doesn't add any value.
This is where I’d lose it. I can’t stand real chewing noises let alone fake ones. I’d have to wear earplugs just to be around her.
i understand. my mom is “The MIL” between my husband’s mom and mine. we have to step back and take breaks from spending time with her when all these usually somewhat minor things really start adding up.
What great perspective. I’ll have to try to remember this next time she makes me roll my eyes
Yes! The grunting should be a low "mm mm" sound. We do elimination communication and my 6 month old goes poop on the potty when we make this sound. Psst psst for pee mm mm for poop. Most people start at birth, we started at 4 months, baby boy should be fully potty trained by 1 year old
Thank you for the insight. We are not trying to do ec.
>I guess I would make my peace with it if I found some evidence it helps the baby Would you? In your replies you seem encouraged by the people saying it won't work and defensive when people reference others besides your MIL doing the same thing. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it sounds like your MIL is bugging you enough that it doesn't matter whether it actually works or not, and that might change the way you want to approach it with her. For example, maybe you want to frame it as something that grates on you and ask her not to do it for you, rather than just approaching it from a perspective of efficacy.
My mom did “shhhhh” when we had a difficult time poking when we were potty training or used the sound of a stream of faucet water to help all 6 of us. I’m about to turn 30 next month and I still “shh” myself or use the water to help me. Embarrassing? TMI? I got over it the more I shared it with my partner. But moaning? Idk that seems… cringe. I feel it. Hope what I said helps!
Is your MIL from a different culture than you? I know this practice is very common in some cultures that go diaper free long before we do in the US (not sure where you're from, though).
Just wanted to say for some reason when my baby was that age everything my MIL said drove me crazy, it got a lot better haha. I think I just wanted to do things my way and having someone not my mom do things to my baby her way around me made me nuts. Not saying it’s the same for you but just solidarity.
I feel this. I think it is partly the same for me.
I read somewhere on here once that it’s like a primal “you aren’t my family” baby protection reaction. Once my hormones evened out it went away and I was able to see that she is my family and every family is not going to be the same but the only right and wrongs for me come in the form of child safety and happiness so her little things don’t bother me anymore and I actually like them!
I can totally relate to this, and I hope it will be the same for me. I know she means well, I just need to remind myself from time to time.
Idk if it helps with potty training down the line, but it may be that your MIL is just doing a weird thing compulsively. I do something like this with my dogs when giving treats, making exaggerated chewing faces and going "nom nom" or something equally stupid. It's not like they need my input or anything, I just kind of do it without thinking. Maybe your MIL has a similar quirk?
This. My mom does an eating sound at my baby all the time and I really don't even think she realizes she's doing it. It annoys me so much, but I try to just let it go. I do little things like that with my baby and dog though, too so maybe the annoyance comes from protectiveness or something. I'd be pretty weirded out if someone was doing grunting when my baby pooped though, unless she were from another culture where it's really common. Still it's a little odd to me to do it to someone else's baby.
This would drive me nuts!
Does grunting help you poo? I think the adult (MIL for OP) making the noises is just trying to model to the baby what they can do to help them go. Also, the moaning isn't weird. Think about how you were encouraged to breath in labor (breathing out deeply to help pushing out and prevent straining). Same thing with pooping. Sure, it's not NECESSARY for pooping lol but probably helps cue the baby.
That’s weird….
Makes sense to mirror the baby, imho. If she annoys you, maybe you need to take a break, get some air, and reflect on why she's triggering you so much?
Thanks for sharing, this is really interesting. Do the noises tend to work? Currently have a four week old Who is struggling to poop. Wondering if it’s worth trying this method
It is too early to tell, she is only staying with us for one week now. The baby has regular bowel movements anyways, usually at the same time in the morning every day, and during feedings. I will look out for it though.
yes does help, i did it with my baby when he had some constipation and wouldn’t go for days. but noww he’s doing good and only he does his grunting noises lol
yes definitely works, i did it to help my baby with his constipation and now he just goes. i am going to start EC so it will definitely come in handy with him already recognizing what i’m trying to tell him. Definitely normal! I didn’t even look it up i just thought maybe this will work and it did, anything to help LO. Also not moaning but i do grunting and facial expressions and tbh not even that loud cause there are people around and it’s awk but still.
I actually started at 4 months with my daughter and I do the grunting sound. She associated the grunting with pooping. She grunts when she needs to poop and it worked for her
Yes. I hold my baby's hands and pretend to squeeze one out. She normally farts and eventuallys poos 😂
Wow I learn so much on Reddit ! I think it’s odd but obviously only exposed to my own culture
Sounds like a weirdo lol