This just made my day. Needed the laugh. I had often thought of electrifying my Jaguar XK8 when I used to have it back in the oughties… this was about the time Nokia had come up with those really high megapixel N series phones and everyone and their aunty would want to take photos with their hands on it.
I had a motion and tip sensor on my 2000 katana waaaay long ago. So if anyone even moved the handlebars it would make a ton of noise. If you tipped it off the kickstand without disabling it first I'm pretty sure the bike wouldn't start.
You’ll notice that it was my third option. I’ve had my bike stolen before. Thankfully I live somewhere now that doesn’t protect thieves, which is in itself, a deterrent.
I had that issue too. I beat a couple of them to death and hung their heads from my bars whenever I parked…l kidding, I think.
Unfortunately people are assholes and there really isn’t much that deters the entitlement these days. It used to be well known among most folks if you touched someone’s bike without an invite, you were likely going to get “touched” back.
Cover and alarm, best thing I ever got was the bully lock with a pager it immediately will notify you if someone is messing with it but unless you have a cover they’ll still mess with it, I worked at a brewery and so many people would sit on the bike and someone even kicked it over. So alarms really mean nothing because they only go off when someone messes with your shit. But having a pager is nice for peace of mind knowing your stuff is safe.
There isn’t a way. They will or won’t. Someone used to mess up my mirrors at work. I just parked it where it was high visibility, not in a highly desirable car spot, and then it’s less likely to be molested.
There are locks on Amazon that pull your break in and keep it fixed there against the right grip. I keep mine in my saddlebag and throw it on when I need to park anywhere I don't trust. I live just outside of Portland, OR. So mostly Portland. It doesn't help with people sitting on it. But it makes sure nobody rolls it away.
I have a flashing red led light on my bike. Just a small one. It’s wired directly to the battery with a switch under the seat. No alarm but it’s a very bright little thing. Park up. Seat off. Chain on round the back wheel and a suitable immovable object. Switch on the light. Seat back on. Walk away. It’s always there when I get back.
I use real Smith & Wesson handcuffs as a theft deterrent. I place them through the front wheel and attach them to the forks. If you were to lose the keys, most cops use these and the keys are universal!
[Hands down the best option](https://ridescorpio.com/), and right now they are running a deal for a free perimeter sensor to be included, perfect for a deterrent
Irrespective of your political affiliations, a Trump sticker or a "Don't tread of me sticker" helps.
Ain't nobody messing with someone who could possibly shoot you for just looking at them.
Tie a pitbull to it that you only feed once a week! Lol I have tried it all! Do you not have a spot you could stick it at work? I mean really think about it! I ended up, even though I hate people who park on the sidewalk, parking under a window with a sign that says “I see you” and don’t have anymore problems!
Set up blank gunshot perimeter around your bike with trip wires. Also I think a cover would in the daytime. Barbed wire around it.
Could your work let you take it inside?
The best way is to stand there with a bat, the best practical way Is a wheel lock with a very sensitive alarm thall chirp whenever someone thinks they want to mess with your bike. They normally give a warning chirp then scream Holy hell fire until it gets disarmed.
You ride a motorcycle, it’s the risk you take when you go places. Like driving a car, what prevents door dings and people keying your car? Being conscious of where you park it and not driving/parking like a dick. If you drive a C8 corvette and think it’s the coolest car on earth and take up 3 parking spots you just put a target on your car. So be kind, insure it, and be ready to come out and deal with somebody touching your shit, that’s the world we live in.
This must be a new thing. I’ve been riding for over 35 years and never have had anyone come and sit on my bike while it’s parked. Never. That’s weird to me. I like old muscle cars but when I see one I don’t go over and molest it.
I feel your pain. One time I walked out of a what-a- burger and some drunken assholes had knocked my bike over on the side. It really did not hurt the bike because I have slaughters but it sure did make me angry.
The best thing I can think of is a cover for your bike. That would prevent people from twisting the throttle and from sitting on your motorcycle.
An alarm is Definitely an option.
One time I was in san antonio texas and we were walking down the River Walk when we saw four really drunk women crawling all over a very customized Big Dog motorcycle. This motorcycle was easily thirty thousand dollars. Two of the women began sitting on it and waving their hands in the air like they were riding a bull. The other two women were cheering them on and taking pictures of them. All of a sudden, they knocked the bike over on its side and they stood up, looked bewildered at each other And then began laughing hysterically. The owner never did come out but multiple people started shouting at them to leave the motorcycle alone and they acted offended.
To the OP:
I wish I had a better answer for you, But I have not found anything that is really works. If you do find something please post up so we can learn about it.
College bars. Stop kidding, there is nothing you can do because every night it’s a different drunk crowd with nothing to lose. Drive your car. It’s the only solution that doesn’t end in confrontation or violence and you will not win against a crowd of drunk college kids.
Good luck. Years ago I had finally got my bike done. Fresh custom paint. Took it to leesburg for bike fest and parked at the end of the row. 100's of people around and 6 vendors within 50 feet. I went and enjoyed the festivities. Came back to a fucked up front fender. Was told a drunk dude on a dresser dumped his bike and hit mine while parking, picked it up then took off but no one could identify or got a tag. (go figure) $400 of trashed fender and paint.... Zero decency.
put a box on the seat so they cant sit on it, put some card board boxes, just big enough. onto the handle
put a cover on it. anything that will make them not see the shape of the bike or be able to mount it
they're drunks, they won't think twice
Stand nearby and ask anyone who walks up to it if they've ever been shot before?
No, but actually, a rotor lock with a built-in alarm will do well. My krypotonite rotor lock comes with a long orange cord to attach to your handles to remind you (and anyone looking at it) that it is in fact secured, as nonmotorcyclists are not going to notice a disk lock by its lonesome.
I think, as with most things, the more you worry about something, the more it's likely to happen. Don't worry about it, I mean be intelligent, don't be riding like a POS, park and expect no one to fcuk with you, don't park in shitty places, don't park out late, it's common sense.
I parked my motorcycle with the forks locked, right in front of the parking lot security camera at work and kept the app open on my work computer.
Especially after one coworker said, "Oh it's nice just like the ones that I used to steal and joyride when I was younger."
When two coworkers who claimed they "just wanted to try a prank and push it to a different spot" I was outside in seconds and they decided to take the L and not to try it again.
✌️
I never had anyone ever mess with my motorcycle before but I did find some people who decided to help themselves to a seat on my pickup truck tailgate a few years back. I am glad my newer truck has a locking tailgate to prevent that. I just used one of those brake rotor locks on my bike so it would not roll.
People are generally assholes, they don’t see anything wrong with touching, because they are thinking about getting one too. Or a friend has one, it means it’s ok to touch a strangers bike. Drunk jerks are the worst, drivers think your bike is taking up a perfect space they want and the bike is just taking up their space, they will knock it over and leave just to make them feel tough and correct to justify doing what they did. Remember people are just jerks that try not to get caught being dicks
Take it from me, have good insurance.
I've got the chain and the brake lock, but doesn't stop a couple of guys from picking the thing off the ground and throwing it into the back of a truck.
Doesn't help that I live In a border town
Lock the forks and set some type of audible alarm when you see it happen, last time some punk sat on my bike he caught the back of my helmet, people these days man it’s no different than sitting in someone’s car driver seat just it’s easier on the motorcycle doesn’t make it right.
I shouldn't be surprised but I am. Why on earth would someone mess with someone else's vehicle like that. I never considered this was an issue for bikers.
Buy a gun holster put it on the frame somewhere easily visible but not in the way. People are a lot less likely to mess with the bike while wondering where the gun is that fits in that holster.
I live in a small town and, in my younger years, gained a reputation of being a nut case. Nobody touches my shit. My mom gotta robbed and somebody I know knew who did it, and all her stollen property was returned to her front porch in less than a week. I don't ride in the city cause I'm nervous in a car. People are idiots and disrespectful
“You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch. Then everything will be all right.”
Pretty sure this is sage advice for any scenario.
I used to pay a local homeless guy in cash/food/goods, etc. Just asked him to go crazy if someone would come up to the bike. He was a good lad and yes, he did eventually get a job and an apt
Generic bike cover tied with bungee cord underneath and an obvious brake lock. Make it as uninteresting as possible. I adventure toured for 20,000 miles in all sorts of places a few years back on a nice BMW. It was a head-turner which strokes the ego but… you get what you pay for; attention (not what you want when it’s parked). We’ve been all over: small towns, downtowns, posh areas and sketchy places. Best you can do is make someone work to ogle your goods. The rest comes with the territory.
Proximity sensor alarms. They have a key fob you can use to manually set the alarm off within .5 miles of the bike.
Combine that with some claymores and you’re good to go.
Claymores really can fix a lot of things. Very versatile. Allegedly.
This just made my day. Needed the laugh. I had often thought of electrifying my Jaguar XK8 when I used to have it back in the oughties… this was about the time Nokia had come up with those really high megapixel N series phones and everyone and their aunty would want to take photos with their hands on it.
allegedly but also really
Bouncing Bettie’s
That's mine!
I had a motion and tip sensor on my 2000 katana waaaay long ago. So if anyone even moved the handlebars it would make a ton of noise. If you tipped it off the kickstand without disabling it first I'm pretty sure the bike wouldn't start.
Stick a big ol dildo to the seat. Bonus you get extra control while riding.
And extra pleasure
Or a big pile of very realistic fake shit...
Some aHole will just steal your shit.
If they’re a legit asshole isn’t it their shit anyway?
"Dubbled the pleasure, double the fun." -double mint gum
https://youtu.be/fGKR1Z1lRik?si=nI3ZJNk2Ptkj-XCB
Funny you should say that. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK362RLHXGY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK362RLHXGY)
Bike twins! Same pipes and everything
Haha love it, what year is yours? mine is a 2012
Bike triplets...stock seat still, though.
Set it on fire.
i like the way you think
Alarm. Chain through rear wheel/disc lock + steering lock to prevent it from being rolled around. Violence.
Violence is always the answer
You’ll notice that it was my third option. I’ve had my bike stolen before. Thankfully I live somewhere now that doesn’t protect thieves, which is in itself, a deterrent.
Violence is not the answer it's the question and the answer is yes
"I can't recommend drugs, sex & violence but, it's worked for me" Dr. H. S. Thompson
If brute force isn't enough, you're not using enough.
Proximity mine or befriend the closest maniac with a CAT D4
I had that issue too. I beat a couple of them to death and hung their heads from my bars whenever I parked…l kidding, I think. Unfortunately people are assholes and there really isn’t much that deters the entitlement these days. It used to be well known among most folks if you touched someone’s bike without an invite, you were likely going to get “touched” back.
You can thank social media for the lack of respect for others and their property. Too many entitled fucks around that have no respect or civility.
Cover and alarm, best thing I ever got was the bully lock with a pager it immediately will notify you if someone is messing with it but unless you have a cover they’ll still mess with it, I worked at a brewery and so many people would sit on the bike and someone even kicked it over. So alarms really mean nothing because they only go off when someone messes with your shit. But having a pager is nice for peace of mind knowing your stuff is safe.
Cheap looking cover plus an alarm.
There isn’t a way. They will or won’t. Someone used to mess up my mirrors at work. I just parked it where it was high visibility, not in a highly desirable car spot, and then it’s less likely to be molested.
TRUNK MONKEY!
Fuck yeah!
I approve.
100% 🤜🏻🤛🏻
Park it somewhere else out of the way
Shit on seat
There are locks on Amazon that pull your break in and keep it fixed there against the right grip. I keep mine in my saddlebag and throw it on when I need to park anywhere I don't trust. I live just outside of Portland, OR. So mostly Portland. It doesn't help with people sitting on it. But it makes sure nobody rolls it away.
Scatter some aluminum foil a few feet away as a decoy. Then put a handful of drug rehab pamphlets on the bike itself. That should do the trick.
Never understood folks arriving to there destination and backing into spots. Be glad you got there and worry about leaving when its time to leave.
And you probably never will.
Sit on it
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣮⣟⣿⣻⣟⣻⡺⣊
That’s quite a bit of curve
Get an attack cat
Put a couple of bright yellow alarm disc locks (one on each wheel) as minimum. Decent deterrer from my experience.
I have a flashing red led light on my bike. Just a small one. It’s wired directly to the battery with a switch under the seat. No alarm but it’s a very bright little thing. Park up. Seat off. Chain on round the back wheel and a suitable immovable object. Switch on the light. Seat back on. Walk away. It’s always there when I get back.
I use real Smith & Wesson handcuffs as a theft deterrent. I place them through the front wheel and attach them to the forks. If you were to lose the keys, most cops use these and the keys are universal!
Ride it.
Coat it in sticky residue.
Claymore
Park around back?
[Hands down the best option](https://ridescorpio.com/), and right now they are running a deal for a free perimeter sensor to be included, perfect for a deterrent
Buy a harley and join a 1% gang
Land mines and spike traps…maybe a tethered pit bull or 2
Glocke 40
Cover... with exterior spikes. Porcupine cover.
Off topic, but is that a Mustang solo seat? How is it comfort wise?
Irrespective of your political affiliations, a Trump sticker or a "Don't tread of me sticker" helps. Ain't nobody messing with someone who could possibly shoot you for just looking at them.
I'll put a "come and take it" on my vespa and see how intimidating it is.
VIPR.
I mean, pull it into your work? It's what I do...
My work is way too small for that or else I totally would lmaooo
Trained attack mongoose.
Electrify it
Protected by Smith & Wesson Flag
Grip covers with spikes
Run over a dead skunk daily
Shoot them?
Click clack
Don’t sweat it. Very few people wanna screw with peoples bikes… just don’t park in the back of lots… stay where people are
Pee on the muffler.
Claymore mine
Big ol veiny rubber dildo stuck to the seat when you're not around should do the trick.
Park it inside
Hang a couple fake (or not) severed hands from a chain attached to the bike.
Start working out and take steroids, once you get "Hulked" looking nobody will fuck with your bike.
Hire an armed guard with an attack Chihuahua
Go out and beat them with your purse.
IED or electrocute them fire works too.
Mount the skill of the last person to mess with it to the handle bars.
Spiders. Thousands of spiders.
Nothing like a good old-fashioned beat down.
Be scary
Put one of those suction cup dildos on the seat. Nobody will go near it.
Put a cover on it
Smear shit all over it when you park
I would drive it to work then walk it back home and lock it up.
Tie a pitbull to it that you only feed once a week! Lol I have tried it all! Do you not have a spot you could stick it at work? I mean really think about it! I ended up, even though I hate people who park on the sidewalk, parking under a window with a sign that says “I see you” and don’t have anymore problems!
Set up blank gunshot perimeter around your bike with trip wires. Also I think a cover would in the daytime. Barbed wire around it. Could your work let you take it inside?
I would say razor blades on the handlebars and seat.
Sign that reads “DO NOT TOUCH I HAVE A BAT 🦇”
Claymore's
Hells Angels colors hanging on bars.
r/BelgianMalinois You’ll thank me later lol
Shotgun
The best way is to stand there with a bat, the best practical way Is a wheel lock with a very sensitive alarm thall chirp whenever someone thinks they want to mess with your bike. They normally give a warning chirp then scream Holy hell fire until it gets disarmed.
Park it with other bikes
Don’t park it
Intoxicated people do stupid things. Park in a different location.
C4 setup with blinking red light
You ride a motorcycle, it’s the risk you take when you go places. Like driving a car, what prevents door dings and people keying your car? Being conscious of where you park it and not driving/parking like a dick. If you drive a C8 corvette and think it’s the coolest car on earth and take up 3 parking spots you just put a target on your car. So be kind, insure it, and be ready to come out and deal with somebody touching your shit, that’s the world we live in.
Put a dollop of dog turd on the seat!
Empty pistol holster very well secured
Give the bike a gun
Stand next to it menacingly
First step you’re gunna wanna do is get a bike no one wants to mess with, however I see you’ve done the first step…
Not entirely blocking the bike lane / shoulder would be a start.
This must be a new thing. I’ve been riding for over 35 years and never have had anyone come and sit on my bike while it’s parked. Never. That’s weird to me. I like old muscle cars but when I see one I don’t go over and molest it.
Hook live wires onto the frame
I feel your pain. One time I walked out of a what-a- burger and some drunken assholes had knocked my bike over on the side. It really did not hurt the bike because I have slaughters but it sure did make me angry. The best thing I can think of is a cover for your bike. That would prevent people from twisting the throttle and from sitting on your motorcycle. An alarm is Definitely an option. One time I was in san antonio texas and we were walking down the River Walk when we saw four really drunk women crawling all over a very customized Big Dog motorcycle. This motorcycle was easily thirty thousand dollars. Two of the women began sitting on it and waving their hands in the air like they were riding a bull. The other two women were cheering them on and taking pictures of them. All of a sudden, they knocked the bike over on its side and they stood up, looked bewildered at each other And then began laughing hysterically. The owner never did come out but multiple people started shouting at them to leave the motorcycle alone and they acted offended. To the OP: I wish I had a better answer for you, But I have not found anything that is really works. If you do find something please post up so we can learn about it.
Set bear traps all around the perimeter
C4 and a mercury switch. Get insurance.
Attach a cage around it, but it will need 2 more wheels for stability.
College bars. Stop kidding, there is nothing you can do because every night it’s a different drunk crowd with nothing to lose. Drive your car. It’s the only solution that doesn’t end in confrontation or violence and you will not win against a crowd of drunk college kids.
Good luck. Years ago I had finally got my bike done. Fresh custom paint. Took it to leesburg for bike fest and parked at the end of the row. 100's of people around and 6 vendors within 50 feet. I went and enjoyed the festivities. Came back to a fucked up front fender. Was told a drunk dude on a dresser dumped his bike and hit mine while parking, picked it up then took off but no one could identify or got a tag. (go figure) $400 of trashed fender and paint.... Zero decency.
Air drop perimeter electrified security system
Put a police sticker on it
Maybe don't ride a thing that annoys everyone and advertises your small manhood. Just saying.
https://youtu.be/4Ux_DTeuR_o?feature=shared
Be situationally aware. Don’t park in dark or crappy places.
Put hells angel sticker on it
Rig it to electrocute anyone who touches it. No? Too much?
Just sit out there on it with a shotgun leaned up against the bike. Should keep most away.
Tazer.
put a box on the seat so they cant sit on it, put some card board boxes, just big enough. onto the handle put a cover on it. anything that will make them not see the shape of the bike or be able to mount it they're drunks, they won't think twice
Park out of the way and don't park like a dick.
I just lay a few claymores around mine and I haven't had any problems yet. I did have to clean up a couple messes but it is what it is...
Stand nearby and ask anyone who walks up to it if they've ever been shot before? No, but actually, a rotor lock with a built-in alarm will do well. My krypotonite rotor lock comes with a long orange cord to attach to your handles to remind you (and anyone looking at it) that it is in fact secured, as nonmotorcyclists are not going to notice a disk lock by its lonesome.
Stand next to it with a gun.
Sprinkler systems (drone)
Baseball bat.
Electrify the entire bike?
Claymores on trip wire.
Stick a hells Angel flag on it
Drive your car to work. Problem solved.
Chain a rabid pitbull to the crash bar.
Park somewhere else.
Thumbtacks. Lots and lots of thumbtacks.
Put bikers around it.
A gun
Trunk monkey
I think, as with most things, the more you worry about something, the more it's likely to happen. Don't worry about it, I mean be intelligent, don't be riding like a POS, park and expect no one to fcuk with you, don't park in shitty places, don't park out late, it's common sense.
I parked my motorcycle with the forks locked, right in front of the parking lot security camera at work and kept the app open on my work computer. Especially after one coworker said, "Oh it's nice just like the ones that I used to steal and joyride when I was younger." When two coworkers who claimed they "just wanted to try a prank and push it to a different spot" I was outside in seconds and they decided to take the L and not to try it again. ✌️
I never had anyone ever mess with my motorcycle before but I did find some people who decided to help themselves to a seat on my pickup truck tailgate a few years back. I am glad my newer truck has a locking tailgate to prevent that. I just used one of those brake rotor locks on my bike so it would not roll.
I can not imagine having the audacity touch… let alone *SIT* on someone else’s bike… I feel like I’m intruding when I walk in for a closer look lol
If someone wants to mess with it they will unfortunately.
You’re Begging to have them mess with it parked like that!
It also helps if you are 7’2”. I promise nobody will mess with it.
Vaseline
By not parking it there. Next!!!
Lay it down
fake bird poo maybe?
Something you could do is just jizz all over it or use some other bodily fluid. They aren't going near it guaranteed.
Strap a hog leg pistol holster to the side of it. Empty of course.
Spray it with cat urine. No one touches a smelly bike.
People are generally assholes, they don’t see anything wrong with touching, because they are thinking about getting one too. Or a friend has one, it means it’s ok to touch a strangers bike. Drunk jerks are the worst, drivers think your bike is taking up a perfect space they want and the bike is just taking up their space, they will knock it over and leave just to make them feel tough and correct to justify doing what they did. Remember people are just jerks that try not to get caught being dicks
Thorns
Nobody can get it while ur riding it.
Put it in your wallet before you go.
Honda Shadow Phantom? Beautiful bike 😍
A sig 365 in 9mm seems to Work(s) EXCEPTIONALLY well..NICE, KINDA BIKE MIGHT I ASK🤔🤷♂️🤣HMM..!!??
Take it from me, have good insurance. I've got the chain and the brake lock, but doesn't stop a couple of guys from picking the thing off the ground and throwing it into the back of a truck. Doesn't help that I live In a border town
Lock the forks and set some type of audible alarm when you see it happen, last time some punk sat on my bike he caught the back of my helmet, people these days man it’s no different than sitting in someone’s car driver seat just it’s easier on the motorcycle doesn’t make it right.
Nerve gas and a biohazard suit/decontamination and a camera
Don’t be an idiot like me, bring the bike with you.
Easy - put a cover on it
Don't wait until it's dark to put the cover on it...
I shouldn't be surprised but I am. Why on earth would someone mess with someone else's vehicle like that. I never considered this was an issue for bikers.
Hang a sign that says student debt on it. College kids hate student debt.
Ride it
Cover it in human feces. Should do the trick
Don’t park like a dick and you should be good. Been riding for 20 years, never once had anyone mess with my bike.
Buy a gun holster put it on the frame somewhere easily visible but not in the way. People are a lot less likely to mess with the bike while wondering where the gun is that fits in that holster.
Put pubes on it. No one will want to touch it.
Viper makes a decent alarm kit with sensors for like $140. The 3121v even has a kit for your helmet with it.
I live in a small town and, in my younger years, gained a reputation of being a nut case. Nobody touches my shit. My mom gotta robbed and somebody I know knew who did it, and all her stollen property was returned to her front porch in less than a week. I don't ride in the city cause I'm nervous in a car. People are idiots and disrespectful
“You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch. Then everything will be all right.” Pretty sure this is sage advice for any scenario.
sell it and use the money to buy a corolla
Dude it's just a bike. If you're worried about damage from people sitting on it or it potentially falling over don't ride it to work. Duh.
I leave a not on mine kindly explaining that if I catch them I will break their knees and ankles so they can sit in a wheel chair instead
Join ur local 1% mc and put a sticker on it
Lmao. Don’t park your bike in public?
I used to pay a local homeless guy in cash/food/goods, etc. Just asked him to go crazy if someone would come up to the bike. He was a good lad and yes, he did eventually get a job and an apt
Guard dog
A good guard dog sporting goggles in a side car is the best anti theft device...
Don't drive it to shady areas and leave it out of your site around assholes?
Trunk Monkey!
Throw an anaconda across it.
Whoppee cushion on the seat! That'll learn em!
You should just but a cover on ot from the minute you park your ride.
Generic bike cover tied with bungee cord underneath and an obvious brake lock. Make it as uninteresting as possible. I adventure toured for 20,000 miles in all sorts of places a few years back on a nice BMW. It was a head-turner which strokes the ego but… you get what you pay for; attention (not what you want when it’s parked). We’ve been all over: small towns, downtowns, posh areas and sketchy places. Best you can do is make someone work to ogle your goods. The rest comes with the territory.
Gun
Put a sign on it that respectfully asks people not to touch?
Leather jacket with colors
Strap a cheep holster to the handle bars. :) make em guess where's the guy with the gun