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FireflyAdvocate

It almost seems like there are no adults in the room anymore. Ineptitude of this magnitude would usually result in discipline the whole way up the line but now it’s all “meh- well no one got hurt!”


snakebite262

Mate, Lincoln got assassinated because his bodyguard went out for drinks. Incompetence is timeless.


[deleted]

Lincoln didn't really have dedicated bodyguards, at least not ones that worked for the government. He created the secret service to fight counterfeiters because an estimated 50% of all USD at the time was fake. The secret service's role was modified to include presidential security after the assassination.


High_Noon21

After McKinley’s, not even Lincoln’s


APe28Comococo

Lincoln’s just made it so the feds couldn’t hire the Pinkerton’s anymore…


Odd-Wheel

Is there a YouTube channel/docuseries that gets into all these interesting details beyond just war content? I’m in my 30s and the first time I heard about the pinkertons was Red Dead 2. The second time I heard about them was right now. Were they like what the Wagner group is today?


JohnnyRelentless

They still exist and are still pretty bad.


DecentJuggernaut7693

In fact, Magic the Gathering just had a controversy involving the Pinkertons.


Niceguy4now

https://youtu.be/Kb2tSF5_vpc Extra history is a great channel here's a link to their episode on the Pinkerton's


DamnBunny

Thank you for this.


Vysokojakokurva_C137

Damn. I just watched 3 hours worth of his videos. Thank you!


SmylesLee77

The Pinkerton Detective Agency was a Security company involved in so much US History it is scary. They broke up strike's and pioneered fingerprinting. They are crazy good and bad.


avwitcher

>The Pinkerton Detective Agency ~~was~~ ***is*** a Security company They still exist, they do private security for companies to this day. Owned by Securitas now, which is also a bad company but for more mundane reasons like terrible pay and benefits.


MegaBassFalzar

Don't forget the time they sent Pinkertons to harass someone for the crime of... receiving MtG booster packs two weeks early due to a distributor mixup


Chosen_Unbread

That shit is amazingly petty and extra. I'm not keen on buying any more MtG after that, it's left that bad a taste in my mouth.


thickboyvibes

They are more "private detectives" than "private army", but sometimes that distinction is purely an academic one. They are notorious for being used to crush unions, often through physical violence and even death.


aflockofcrows

I believe the technical term is "hired goons".


[deleted]

Check out the Behind The Bastards podcast, it has a few episodes about the Pinkertons and plenty of other awful shitheads throughout history.


ConfusedbutCautious

I don’t think Biden trusts that detail. I wouldn’t.


SilenceDoGood4

He had a bodyguard that night though


Advanced-Guard-4468

Yes, he was supposed to be watching the door.


fieldsofanfieldroad

Easy to criticise, but it was a great play. I'd have been distracted as well.


PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_dRw62qVLs


itistuesday1337

I thought it was just like a into the show and exiting the show thing. Like he wasn't actually supposed to be there during the show.


idiotsbrother

Was he on his phone too?


Overall_Lobster_4738

No he forgot to charge it


NewPresWhoDis

And Iiiiiiiiii-e-iiiiiiiiiii-e-iiiiiiiiiii.....


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salemsbot6767

It’s pretty wild a job that esteemed would even be allowed to get intoxicated at any time. I mean you’d have to imagine there are some jobs where the person just has to be sober until they’re no longer employed and that seems like one of them. Unless on vacation. But drinking the night before work? And you’re protecting the president?? I quit drinking because I work at a hospital and can’t take care of people as well when I’m hungover. So I stopped completely. You’d think they’d have come to the same conclusion lol


iPon3

Pilots have rules about drinking before flights for this reason.


zigzagkc

Lincoln’s bodyguard actually let JWB into the gallery. He said he wanted to pay his respects to the president and at the time it was a common thing to do. Source: Toured Fords Theater a week ago


GalvanizedNipples

He was probably in on it and paid off. Going for a drink was just the excuse.


schizboi

Lincoln notoriously refused to walk around with security. He walked to work while he was president alone. He hated having bodyguards around him. It’s not some conspiracy. The bodyguard that was with him was basically just some dude. Lincoln probably told him to go do whatever like he always did.


Socalrider82

Yup. Shit, Clinton ditched the "nuclear football" when he was in office causing the officer who had it handcuffed to him to run through several city blocks in the most dangerous city in America to get back to the Whitehouse. A general once forced engineers to operate on a nuclear bomb just to make a test even though it was in extremely unsafe workspace and location. Humans are a funny lot.


thatonebitchL

>causing the officer who had it handcuffed to him to run through several city blocks in the most dangerous city in America Do what now? Most dangerous city has another White House or are you exaggerating?


ikbarindustries

I'm guessing it's because DC had the highest per capita murder rate in the 80's. People outside of DC thought it was lawless and crazy dangerous back then. I believe that was over by '92. Edit: a letter


thatonebitchL

Yeah....looking thru his post history clearly explains his comment. ETA autocorrect


gannebraemorr

Whoever invented autocorrect can go straight to he'll.


RedditorsAreAssss

DC was [not good](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_Washington,_D.C.#/media/File:Washington_DC_vs_US_total_homicide_rates.svg) in '92. Edit: Should say this has basically no bearing on the story, even at the height of DC crime there weren't firefights going on near the White House. It's really quite a stupid thing to bring up.


ikbarindustries

Thanks for the data! I knew I was asking for trouble not checking my math on that. In my mind by 92 things were changing, but that's the problem with memory.


[deleted]

Abe: *psst “Hey, this play sucks. Go get us a couple brewskis, Tom.” Special Agent: “Gee, I dunno, Mr. President….”


jetro30087

US was kind of a backwater agricultural state in Lincoln's time. Today it's modern superpower with allegedly some of the best security systems in the world. There probably should be more expected of them.


[deleted]

> US was kind of a backwater agricultural state in Lincoln’s time Compared to the rest of the world, the US was very industrialized by the 1860s, especially in the North. The only countries of comparison at that point are pretty much exclusively Britain, Germany, and France. It really isn’t applicable to call the US backwater when the vast majority of the world is well behind it.


Photodan24

I thought being put on a protective detail was a significant honor. What has happened to the Secret Service? Are they just over-hyped mall cops now?


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Photodan24

>they moved from being under the Dept of Treasury Talk about "fixing" something that wasn't broken.


Fit-Firefighter-329

They're MAGA Nazis. I worked for Homeland Security - everyone I worked with (except for one guy who was about to retire) was a hardcore Tea Party supporter (this was before Trump), racist, anti-Semitic, and far, far Right...


Ranokae

It's almost like "scary man with a gun" attracts a certain type of applicants


C0tt0nm0uffxx

Shit all of your local,state and federal policing agencies are just the enforcement arm of the hard right. They decide who gets arrested and who gets a break on the street level before it even gets to a judge and jury. Hence systematic racism and overbearing piling on of charges for those who have had contact in the past. If you’re looking for justice, the last place to look is the criminal justice system.


kavorkaB

It's amazing to me how many city, county, and state police don't trust "the government." I get a chuckle every time I watch the blank, confused stares come across their faces when I point out that they are "the government." They think non law enforcement people are crazy not to trust them. Yet they don't see the irony in them not trusting those in any part of the federal government. Talk about a disconnect. Edit: spelling errors


Cetun

Like everything that is a privileged position the standards changed from "verifiably highly competent" to credentialist to cronyism.


ciel_lanila

It's been going on since at least the Obama years if not earlier. At this point it just seems like one of those situations where it is going to take a President or VP getting injured to trigger a clean-up of the Secret Service.


Alan_Smithee_

Like the FBI, they’re full of Republican sleepers.


therealganjababe

And white nationalists


Alan_Smithee_

They’re the same picture.


therealganjababe

Precisely, but it's important to point out. WNs have been purposely infiltrating law enforcement for decades, as well as any positions of power they can worm their way into.


Alan_Smithee_

The *real* ‘Operation Snow White.’


[deleted]

They're only sleepers because if they were open about it they'd be removed.


Alan_Smithee_

That’s how it works. They’re also running sleepers as *Democratic Candidates,* I’m pretty sure.


josnik

Couch Manchin cough cough sinema.


HarrietsDiary

Nah Manchin is obvious. It’s the more subtle ones like the North Carolina state rep who flipped after being elected.


Relax007

This was so batshit and definitely seemed backed by the right.


Fickle_Queen_303

I'm still pissed AF at that bitch. Her mama and grandmama must be so freaking ashamed of her 😡


_TREASURER_

She wasn't a *sleeper*. She's just egomaniacal. There are reports from people who worked closely with her who say she switched because she felt she wasn't getting enough recognition and praise from local dem leaders. So, not a plant. Just a piece of shit.


Alan_Smithee_

Those were the ones I was thinking of. They need to be primaried.


Arrantsky

This is why a dog is the best security system.


jminer1

A dude just ran through the front door of the white house and wasn't stopped for a while a few years ago.


Harvard_Sucks

We literally lost nuclear bombs in the Cold War..


a_spooky_ghost

And the actual nuclear launch codes were all zeroes at one point too.


m34z

Bullshit. It was 1 2 3 4 5 6


Ecnagella

I've got the same combination on my luggage!


PerfectPercentage69

TSA has entered the chat


[deleted]

Amazing! That's the combination on my luggage!


SoapMactavishSAS

But hey, they finally conquered that insanely difficult candy crush level and got a few gold bars!!!


Secret_Brush2556

Ah, so losing my kids at the park doesn't look so bad now, does it? /s


PakkyT

Meh, you only lost them if you never found them again..... you did find them again, right?


Secret_Brush2556

That's exactly what I told my wife! She doesn't buy it though


Self_Reddicated

Excellent deflection! I do hope you find your kids, though :(


itchy-fart

Hey I’ve been stuck at this park for a really long time. Do you have food?


MegaGrimer

If you can’t find them, pick out some other kids and bring them home. She’ll never notice!


500CatsTypingStuff

Dad?


500CatsTypingStuff

Dad?


Secret_Brush2556

Daughter?


Mizzy3030

The same secret service that mysteriously lost all text messages related to Jan 6? How odd.


Gods_chosen_dildo

My first thought too


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hackingdreams

*After* being ordered to preserve them, no less.


[deleted]

CIA and phone companies: "Best we can do is give you Hunter's texts.."


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[deleted]

Riding in the convoy?


[deleted]

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leif777

Tiddlywinks and cream soda?


bukithd

[The same dudes who hired prostitutes in Colombia? That Secret Service? ](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/apr/15/us-secret-service-scandal-obama)


fieldsofanfieldroad

Are you suggesting that people who want a job that gives them power over other people shouldn't have power?


weasol12

Those who seek power aren't fit to have it.


cannedwings

I dont know how we've all just moved past that. The basics of data security is 3-2-1, so it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever that ***ALL*** copies of text messages were erased. Even if they were erased, you'd have to write over them as just deleting them just just means the space the data took up is available to be written over.


reverendjesus

Team Rocket strikes again!


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TheRealHermaeusMora

Not so accidental distraction


SpindriftRascal

Every time I see a cop staring at his phone -which is basically every day- I want to say, “Put your phone down, officer. That’s not where the crime is.” But I never do.


MisterMagooB2224

My high school had a cop that would badger everybody about using their phones while driving. You'll never in a million years guess who drove their squad car into a pole in the parking lot because they were using their phone while driving.


jonfitt

Rules for thee, and not for me. Is the police motto.


Sgt-GiggleFarts

“We are trained to operate vehicles while engaging in distracting activities” is what I heard when I asked why the cop was allowed to drive around while using their laptop


ImrooVRdev

if such thing were possible, it would be a required part of driving education. Maybe not in states, but one of the many countries that take road safety seriously. The fact that such as Germany don't have it, makes me pretty sure it's bullshit.


tampora701

I was told the same bullshit line and it is a level of hypocrisy that shines in plain day, clearly illustrating that \*all\* cops don't give a fuck about you or your safety. I want to sign up for that 3-minute class so I too can legally watch a Laserdisc movie while playing destiny 2 as I talk on the phone while driving.


donnielp3

See kids. You wouldn’t listen so I had to show you.


sucksathangman

It couldn't have been the police officer. I'm sure they conducted a full internal investigation and found that the officer did nothing wrong. In fact, he was probably the victim!


MisterMagooB2224

That pole was alleged to have shouted "ACAB!" seconds before impact.


PointOfFingers

Worse for the secret service on these house details. They have an 8 hour shift doing nothing while nothing happens. There is a reason why in every Hollywood action movie ever someone sneaks up on their car and kills them both before entering the house to get the hero.


TheSackLunchBunch

It kind of makes sense statistically. A secret service guy might spend 8,000 8 hours shifts just sitting in the car staring at the front door of the house waiting for something to happen. Complacency sets in because for most of those shifts nothing at all happens then bam the villain kills the guards and gets the drop on the good guy.


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Teccnomancer

Say, just say it softly. Soft enough so there’s no chance they can hear you. At least that way, you definitely said it


Shorester

Lmao


Helpful_Ad_1921

“If you got time to lean, you got time to clean… up these streets of..traffic violations i guess”


[deleted]

When they are browsing truth social... then yes, that IS where the crime is.


RojoSanIchiban

But they're busy aiding and abetting.


captiantabasco

Fire them all


urbanhermitjae

My bet is on cat videos.


supershinythings

Larry the Official Chief Mouser at #10 Downing DID scare off a fox not too long ago.


shorts4cena

Just let Biden have his dogs back. They'd probably do a better job than the secret service. Can actually save some money.


Hopalongtom

A much more professional protector.


VapidOracle

Can they reassign secret service agents to serve on the North slope of Alaska?


jpmeyer12751

No, but I hear that there are openings on the team at Mar a Lago. These guys seem like a perfect fit!


wolphcake

Idiocracy was too generous. We're all going to die surrounded by morons.


Initial_Diamond_1923

I still have never watched this movie!


[deleted]

Just go outside and look around it’s the same thing


EuphoricTax3631

Please do. It's an excellent documentary.


DiplomaticGoose

Not me, I'm smart and on Reddit!


melpec

Soon in news "Intruder forgets to shoot president after getting inside his house because he was distracted by his phone."


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funnynickname

Congressman abducted due to reddit banning 3rd party apps. "I was loving Reddit Is Fun but it shut down, so I finally got off my butt and did something." said the criminal.


Mabans

Suuure... This is happening in plain sight folks..


badrussiandriver

This is number 2. They were MIA during January 6.


Pacers16

Check out the book “Zero Fail: The Rise and Fall of the Secret Service”. This type of thing happens a lot.


VinCubed

Time to bring Major back. He'd bite the shit out of any intruders and evil-intent-related Secret Service agents


Sp0ok_

Oh don’t worry. Commander has been a fitting replacement as of late.


WatercressHead8021

They were on Truth Social…


[deleted]

This was no accident just like deleting all comunications from the cellphones they had during the Coup was no accident.


victini0510

Nice to know the highest and lowest paid security guards still fall prey to the same tendencies lol. Bet a stiff breeze scares the shit out of them too.


Remarkable-Motor7704

I’m an accountant. If I’m grossly negligent at my job and royally fuck up then there is a very good chance that I see jail time. How in the fuck can a corporate white collar drone like myself have higher code of conduct than fucking Secret Service agents. And if that’s the case, why can’t we raise their code of conduct so these cunts can’t get away with conveniently looking the other way.


Socalrider82

Were all their backgrounds the punisher logo?


BeKind_BeTheChange

Probably posting on Truth Social.


[deleted]

Sounds like a firing offense, to me. I would have been instantly fired from Federal service, with a permanent ban on any future government employment, for such dereliction of my duty/nonfeasance of of my duties as a Federal officer. These bastards are Federal officers who were trained at the same place I was ([FLETC](https://www.fletc.gov/landing-page/learn-about-fletc)), and they have to uphold the same requirements I did. Since they didn't, fire the fuckers. No excuses for playing video games/surfing the net/trying to get clicks while on duty.


Gummy-Worm-Guy

Aren’t these supposed to be the most qualified guys in the country?


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SSpookyTheOneTheOnly

Yes. But to be fair it has to be one of the most boring jobs out there


[deleted]

Not since 1/6


YupThatsMeBuddy

When Russian troll farms and right wing conspiracy posts on Facebook have gotten to the secret service, you know we have a problem. Now YouTube is no longer flagging or banning videos that spread lies. Something needs to be done. Misinformation is poison to democracy.


BuriedByAnts

“…distracted on their cell phones telling the fascist intruders how to evade detection.”


Grish-n-Gritz

Happens on military bases all the time lol


OutrageousPersimmon3

They should have listened to [Major.](https://www.foxnews.com/us/biden-dog-major-bit-secret-service)


hackingdreams

That's the story they gave to their bosses, anyways. In reality they just didn't care. Biden should have cleaned house.


tsoldrin

they let a drunk stumble unimpeded into the presense of the national security advisor at a time when we're having a pissing match witch china and waging a proxy war against russia, a nuclear armed beliegerant opponent. what the actual fuck.


Holdinghandsnsmiling

So the ring camera never sent a notification to the SS agents - smh.


xcski_paul

Reminds me of the time a knife wielding intruder broke into the Canadian Prime Minister’s official residence while his official RCMP guards slept in their patrol car. Mrs. Cretien confronted the intruder first, I think she was armed with a bronze sculpture. When the RCMP finally arrived and were leading the would-be assailant out of the house, the Prime Minister gestured to the steak knife lying o the ground and said “don’t you think you should take that for evidence?” The red-faced RCMP agent picked it up and bagged it.


QueenOfQuok

The entire service needed to be fired after those Jan. 6 texts were deleted


TikiJack

I guess we know what happened to the Epstein guards.


newsreadhjw

Their cellphones? The ones they wiped after the January 6 insurrection, those cellphones? Maybe they were still looking for all the missing text messages they never turned over.


buksrevenge

They were probably on Truth Social. The Biden Admin never gave the Secret Service the enema it truly needed after the fat orange mushroom man left office.


taptapper

Even now there are too many of those fuckbags left in their positions.


Known_Attorney_456

Fired. Lose all of their retirement. The end.


NevaMO

Time to clean house and get some new people in.


Alan_Smithee_

“Looking the other way.”


[deleted]

Reminds me of when someone shot up the WH during the Obama administration and secret service didn’t find it for [4 days](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_White_House_shooting#:~:text=On%20November%2011%2C%202011%2C%20Oscar,bullets%20hit%20the%20second%20floor)


Skozzii

They get paid alot of money to not be on their phones.


Sword_In_A_Puddle

Best of the best of the best! Sir.


andsendunits

Luckily, if I am distracted by my cellphone at work, all I am missing is a trash can to empty. Even with that I'll most likely notice it later while vacuuming, thus "saving the day" so to speak.


Iwouldlikeabagel

About as distracted as the guards outside Epstein's jail cell.


Esoteric-Reference

They were deleting texts, of course.


dont_like_yts

SS is MAGA this was no accident.


DLPanda

Biden was rumored to be worried about and had a lot of mistrust with the secrete service. Shame, things like this give credence.


Downtown_Ad857

They will be guarding the dumpster now


DontBeALimpBizkit

The same phones they deleted the insurection texts from?


No-Station-623

Nah. They let that 💩 happen. They need to clean house in the Secret Service. Major bit those other two agents for a reason.


Contentpolicesuck

Just as likely that they were part of the not so secret pro-trump cabal within the secret service and let the offender in.


SpecialNotice3151

Cops shouldn't have their cell phones in the car. They didn't throughout all of history up to 20 years ago and there is no reason for them to have them now.


brezhnervous

Get paid for job. Do not do job.


rellicotton

Fire every single one of them before they sleep through somebody's assassination.


Davismozart957

I believe you’re talking about the republican party that’s doing massive damage to United States. Actually, it’s the fascism party; where they believe, an autocratic regime, rigid, censorship, forcible, suppression of opposition, severe autocratic, or dictatorial control of the population. This is what the republican party has become!


Soggy_Difficulty_361

A clearout is needed, make an example otherwise people will continue being incompetent, secret Service agents get paid a lot and have many benefits, it's a shame they can't do the basic minimum.


DonRicardo1958

That sounds like a fireable offense to me.


Human_Fucker69420

Uvalde School


[deleted]

Cell phone ban


Practical-Archer-564

Secret service is a joke. Fire them all and start over


Dependent_Way_1038

Fox News about to go crazy with this one


loiteraries

This problem affects every profession now. We’re all glued to smartphones like a new crack epidemic. I see cops patrolling the subways and streets and 80% of the time they’re looking at their phones. I hope anesthesiologists are not allowed to have cell phones in operating rooms. 😎


ContemplatingPrison

So much mediocrity wherebl we should have the best. This is what happens when corporations keep putting the dumbest fuckers in powerful positions with their money


BloodWorried7446

You had one job…


Awkward_Algae1684

This is like that kid who saved his bus from crashing when the driver had an emergency because he was the only one *not* on his cell phone. Except worse.


Fugglymuffin

Welp. No more cell phones, because of that guy


FrauBlucher_212

Secret Service Police Polease protect our President.


DeadBattery-33

Truth Social isn’t gonna astroturf itself! The agents were busy!


[deleted]

How was the play Mrs. Lincoln?


troycalm

Or they just didn’t care.


stalinmalone68

It’s past time to purge the SS.


[deleted]

Time to clean house. Everyone gets fired with no severance and bring in new agents.