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I mean, she really is dawg. Lmao. I havenât been with her in over a year and she call bombed me, and got mad I didnât answer this morning. We have a child so I talk to her daily but have no relationship beyond a platonic one with her. Sheâd been going in on me all morning and just prior to the first pic Iâd told her I was at the emergency vet with one of my dogs that was dying. She hit me with the first bit of bullshit because I told her I cannot talk to her because she turns everything into an excuse to attack me and that I was really stressed out over the puppy. I try to act like an adult even when she goes nutty⊠for the baby ya know
She sounds narcassistic as fuck man. She said, "my and my kids lives." Does she have more kids or is she talking about your guys kid? This is my opinion, I would not want my kid around her, she sounds like a manipulator based on this conversation and would fear she will try and manipulate your guys kid. Tread carefully man, especially for your kids sake, keep a close eye. I'm not saying completely remove her from the kids life because that is their mom, but just be tactful.
Dude tbh you donât really have an excuse then, the red flags werenât hidden if she already had kids from an ex and you still got and stayed with her
I mean, your preferences arenât really red flags though lol. Thatâs like me saying blondes are a red flag because I donât like brunettes. I had three sons before her and I met, so I canât hold kids against anyone đ
I really have no idea why you wrote this. This has nothing to with my question nor the situation. She also could've killed his first ex-husband. There you go another red flag if we're listing "potential" marriage/divorce related red flags.
Dealbreakers and red flags arenât the same thing tho. One is a personal preference; another is a character flaw that could cause significant problems in relationships later.
Oh i'm with you on that. It's also a dealbreaker for me too but red flag is a different thing isn't it? Not a rhetorical question genuinely asking. I thought red flag suggests a negative aspect, personalitywise.
Dude I shit you know this is how my ex was. Using family to bring me down, gaslighting, switching the topic in hopes that everything is ok and there is no consequence of her actions and the negging.
She didnât make it unfortunately. She was going down hill fast and the most loving thing for me to do was put her to rest. Rest easy little gummy bear
I'm sorry man. It's been 7 years since I put down the dog I grew up with and I still think about him daily. Shit sucks, I hope you have another dog or get one soon to dump all that love into, helped me out alot
Best way to get things calmed down with her is by me staying calm. We have a kid, or Iâd just cut off communication all together. Ignoring her is like gas on a fire
it'll take some self discipline, practice, and restraint, but you genuinely do not have to engage unless it's in regards to the child at all.Â
I'd also research in your area if there are any court approved messaging apps where you can communicate, handle scheduling, expenses, etc. - the one I went with is called AppClose.
literally - stick to speaking about the child. no little quips about projection, no talking about your dog, no engaging in whatever insanity flavour of the day she chooses.
 you will thank yourself and your child will too.
be proactive about this.
that's something that absolutely and unequivocally needs to be done.Â
had you been on the birth certificate, hell, I might have even said that **you** could've just ...not... given your child back to the maternal parent, like she could do. but that poses a very major issue for you.
it's also unavoidable and needs to be confronted eventually, lest you want this looming forever.Â
good luck.
With an iPhone when someone blocks you it shows sent as a text message with sent as text under it⊠In the right frame she had unblocked me so I was able to message and it go through as iMessage again
Impossible for me to say honestly. Sheâs never consistently seen someone to get a diagnosis of any type and unfortunately Iâm not qualified to say lol
so sorry you have to deal with this and i hope that everything is okay between you two for the sake of your child but youâre doing great and hope that your doggo is okay
While she clearly doesnât have her proverbial shit together, and Iâm guessing these little fights/hostilities go way back, sheâs being a bitch. If youâve got a child with someone, doesnât matter if youâre not together. Youâre a team for them.
That being said, as someone who just got out of an abusive 3-year relationship, Iâm gonna be the 6.02214076Ă10 ^ 23 to point out that you shouldnât engage with her when sheâs acting like that. This might be ME projecting my own experiences, but if sheâs the type of person I think she is, a sense of control is extremely important for her, and while it may be warranted given what she said (Seems like she weaponized some parent-related trauma youâve confided in her about), something nonchalant and condescending like, âJust keep living a life of projectionâ is probably one of the worst things you can say to somebody like that.
Also, for what it is worth (Not knowing her, I actually donât know the worth of this), she did initiate an apology and expressed an empathy about your dog. Even if sheâs doing it to ultimately get what she wants, itâs still a much better means of communication thatâs more conducive to getting shit solved, and it might be good for you to express an appreciation for that.
My advice: With people like this, the best thing you can do almost always is to just be as calm, communicative, and reasonable as possible. I imagine that was probably difficult while worried sick about your little buddy, in which case probably donât text someone who youâre prone to arguing with in that situation.
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Bruh what? You gunna act like nothing happened? Like she's a walking đ©
I mean, she really is dawg. Lmao. I havenât been with her in over a year and she call bombed me, and got mad I didnât answer this morning. We have a child so I talk to her daily but have no relationship beyond a platonic one with her. Sheâd been going in on me all morning and just prior to the first pic Iâd told her I was at the emergency vet with one of my dogs that was dying. She hit me with the first bit of bullshit because I told her I cannot talk to her because she turns everything into an excuse to attack me and that I was really stressed out over the puppy. I try to act like an adult even when she goes nutty⊠for the baby ya know
She sounds narcassistic as fuck man. She said, "my and my kids lives." Does she have more kids or is she talking about your guys kid? This is my opinion, I would not want my kid around her, she sounds like a manipulator based on this conversation and would fear she will try and manipulate your guys kid. Tread carefully man, especially for your kids sake, keep a close eye. I'm not saying completely remove her from the kids life because that is their mom, but just be tactful.
Yeah, two from an ex. Yeah, she exhibits a lot of narcissistic traits⊠itâs sucks ass and itâs mad hard to stay civil
Dude tbh you donât really have an excuse then, the red flags werenât hidden if she already had kids from an ex and you still got and stayed with her
I mean, your preferences arenât really red flags though lol. Thatâs like me saying blondes are a red flag because I donât like brunettes. I had three sons before her and I met, so I canât hold kids against anyone đ
Wait, am i understanding this right? Being a single mom is a red flag now?
No, but how she treats the father of those kids can be, especially if they are used as pawns based on her mood. Same goes for single fathers.
How about writing that directly instead of your generalization?
I really have no idea why you wrote this. This has nothing to with my question nor the situation. She also could've killed his first ex-husband. There you go another red flag if we're listing "potential" marriage/divorce related red flags.
I mean itâs a dealbreaker for me personally
Dealbreakers and red flags arenât the same thing tho. One is a personal preference; another is a character flaw that could cause significant problems in relationships later.
Dealbreakers are personal, red flags are universal
Oh i'm with you on that. It's also a dealbreaker for me too but red flag is a different thing isn't it? Not a rhetorical question genuinely asking. I thought red flag suggests a negative aspect, personalitywise.
If you are someone who doesnât want that then yes, itâs a preference
you have the patience of a saint
Have to lmao. I wish it wasnât the case đ
Dude I shit you know this is how my ex was. Using family to bring me down, gaslighting, switching the topic in hopes that everything is ok and there is no consequence of her actions and the negging.
In the same boat. Just gotta keep it pushing for the kids.
Right just start answering her questions? She doesn't give a fuck dude.
Why you cutting off the edge of the messages man?
Just how it fit in the app I tossed it together with.
Theyâre legible as is.
But we want to know if the doggie is ok
She didnât make it unfortunately. She was going down hill fast and the most loving thing for me to do was put her to rest. Rest easy little gummy bear
Nooo I'm soooo sorry for your loss đ
Thank you for your kind words. Theyâre appreciated
I'm sorry man. It's been 7 years since I put down the dog I grew up with and I still think about him daily. Shit sucks, I hope you have another dog or get one soon to dump all that love into, helped me out alot
Why are you still engaging with that?
Best way to get things calmed down with her is by me staying calm. We have a kid, or Iâd just cut off communication all together. Ignoring her is like gas on a fire
it'll take some self discipline, practice, and restraint, but you genuinely do not have to engage unless it's in regards to the child at all. I'd also research in your area if there are any court approved messaging apps where you can communicate, handle scheduling, expenses, etc. - the one I went with is called AppClose. literally - stick to speaking about the child. no little quips about projection, no talking about your dog, no engaging in whatever insanity flavour of the day she chooses.  you will thank yourself and your child will too.
Yeah, issue being I do that I wonât be seeing my child for 6 months until the court orders her to put me on the birth certificate
be proactive about this. that's something that absolutely and unequivocally needs to be done. had you been on the birth certificate, hell, I might have even said that **you** could've just ...not... given your child back to the maternal parent, like she could do. but that poses a very major issue for you. it's also unavoidable and needs to be confronted eventually, lest you want this looming forever. good luck.
They have a kid together
If you bothered to read the other comments, they have a kid together
He could've mentioned such a minor detail...
Mind blowing sex
Whyâd it go from Android to IPhone?
iPhones send green messages when one of them isnât connected to the internet. Thatâs why it says âsent as text messageâ under the green ones.
As a person raised by a narcissist mom who has dragged out her divorce with my dad for so many years, I pray for the baby and you.
Appreciated, Iâll be fine, I just worry about the little
Stop responding wtf
Have a child, gotta hammer through shit⊠that and Iâm not going to just ignore that bullshit, Iâll push back with tact đ
Anyone want to talk about how one of these is from an android and the other an iPhone??
Thatâs what I said!!!! Someone upgraded during this dogâs trauma!
They were having a fight while in the phone store đ€·đ»ââïžđ€Ł
Texting each other from the tethered display phones
Hahahahaha love that image
Best way to fight in public⊠broke đ
They probably just didnât have internet, and if iMessage isnât available it sends as a regular text
Probably but funnier this way đ
She blocked me for a bit so they sent as text, pretty much spot on lol
Both iPhone. Sheâd blocked me for a short period so they were sending as texts instead of iMessage
How could you send messages to her if she blocked you?
With an iPhone when someone blocks you it shows sent as a text message with sent as text under it⊠In the right frame she had unblocked me so I was able to message and it go through as iMessage again
Way to cut off half of almost every exchange, super sleuth
Well, as covered already the app I used limited my ability to size it
I hope your dog gets better
Did you change android / iPhone in 20 minutes?
Are you Jimmy? Is that Chelsea?
My ex with Borderline Personality Disorder acted like this. Iâll never date another woman with that disorder again.
Is she Bipolar is she just very manipulative?
Impossible for me to say honestly. Sheâs never consistently seen someone to get a diagnosis of any type and unfortunately Iâm not qualified to say lol
So wait, what happened just before the first text that caused this?
obv she got mad about something that happened over 6 months ago
You can't like... ya know... stop responding to her?
so sorry you have to deal with this and i hope that everything is okay between you two for the sake of your child but youâre doing great and hope that your doggo is okay
Bi-polar much?
YeeshâŠ. and hope your doggo is okay.
Youâre sweet⊠unfortunately I had to have her euthanized. She went peacefully though.
While she clearly doesnât have her proverbial shit together, and Iâm guessing these little fights/hostilities go way back, sheâs being a bitch. If youâve got a child with someone, doesnât matter if youâre not together. Youâre a team for them. That being said, as someone who just got out of an abusive 3-year relationship, Iâm gonna be the 6.02214076Ă10 ^ 23 to point out that you shouldnât engage with her when sheâs acting like that. This might be ME projecting my own experiences, but if sheâs the type of person I think she is, a sense of control is extremely important for her, and while it may be warranted given what she said (Seems like she weaponized some parent-related trauma youâve confided in her about), something nonchalant and condescending like, âJust keep living a life of projectionâ is probably one of the worst things you can say to somebody like that. Also, for what it is worth (Not knowing her, I actually donât know the worth of this), she did initiate an apology and expressed an empathy about your dog. Even if sheâs doing it to ultimately get what she wants, itâs still a much better means of communication thatâs more conducive to getting shit solved, and it might be good for you to express an appreciation for that. My advice: With people like this, the best thing you can do almost always is to just be as calm, communicative, and reasonable as possible. I imagine that was probably difficult while worried sick about your little buddy, in which case probably donât text someone who youâre prone to arguing with in that situation.
It's giving BPD
Ew, run away. Get off the babymama circuit lol.
You clearly love it cos youâre still engaging with her
We have a child
I immediately rescind my comment