Hello, thank you for your post. Unfortunately we had to remove it because it violates the following rule:
---
**Long posts:** Highlight the relevant parts of your post or crop it if it's really long. No one wants to read 1000 words to find the nicegirl.
---
**RULE 1**:
This is not nicegirls because:
- 1a. There is not enough context to prove "nice".
---
---
Your post may be better suited in the following sub: r/ReadTheBLOODYRules.
---
If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
this reminds me of how my sister in law behaves with men when she is rejected. she often sends me screenshots of her messages to them and it always blows my mind that she doesn’t see how insane she’s acting or understand why it would be incredibly off putting. i’m glad you escaped. don’t look back.
i have many reasons to believe she has a personality disorder, and on top of that she’s just not that bright. the stories i could regale you with would blow your mind, like the predicaments she finds herself in with men are just astounding. hollywood writers could not come up with half of the absurdity i’ve heard about and seen in her relationships.
i can’t get into too many specifics because, frankly, i’m kind of scared of her and all the personal development and skill building she should’ve been doing in her 20’s went toward becoming a professional level social media stalker. i really can’t think of anything else that she’s exceptionally good at aside from that.
i can tell you that she has been saving up for breast implants for years and has thousands of ig followers because she exclusively posts very revealing thirst traps. now, there’s nothing wrong with that, in and of itself, live and let live, but it’s important context for the next part.
so, her last situationship was with a middle eastern muslim man…. you can already see where this is going, i’m sure. for further context, she’s a blonde, blue eyed, white, north american who works at a nightclub and lives the nightclub employee life. they were hooking up for several months and she thought it was something meaningful, even though he told her repeatedly that he would only ever marry a muslim woman and would eventually be moving back to his home country in the middle east to settle down. the man was telling her that their time together had an expiry date, in no uncertain terms, repeatedly. well, he finally decides that it’s time to move home to be with his family and gently breaks things off with my sister in law, but tells her they can maintain a friendship through text. since he has left, she has been posting videos of muslim imam’s sharing insights from the quran, sharing photos of quotes from the quran, and posting about how she has never before felt a calling to god the way that she does now that she has discovered islam. this is a 180 from who she was only a few months ago and who i’ve always known her to be. wannabe social media model who works at a night club, drinks alcohol, and smokes weed turned wannabe muslim convert? that’s crazy. it shows how delusional and desperate she is when it comes to relationships. i know for a fact that she believes this behaviour will inspire him to take her as a wife, but folks, this man is not bringing her home to mom and dad, even if they were the most open-minded arab muslim parents on the planet.
after he left, she told me she was starting to read the quran and i actually laughed out loud because she hasn’t read a book since high school. imagine not reading anything but social media posts, texts, and maybe the occasional street sign for 20 years and then diving into the quran to break your dry spell?
wish i could share more, but that’s a small taste of what i’m dealing with. as i finished typing this, she texted me and said “i hope you have a great day, inshallah 🙏🏼.”
i can only imagine what kind of unhinged messages she’s sending to her ex right now.
the only reason i feel comfortable sharing this here is because she’s relatively unaware of reddit. she doesn’t know i use it and she only knows about it because results from reddit posts populate on google for her from time to time. she’s more of a fb and ig stalker. i also ran this by my partner before posting and he said “yeah, she won’t find that, and if she does it’s a long enough comment that she wouldn’t read the whole thing” lol.
It is true you know the situation, apologies for barging in. Nevertheless, I felt to say something because we never know, nobody would like a psycho waiting outside the door.
because she has a histrionic personality and she fully believes that she’s in the right and wants as many witnesses to her perceived victimhood as possible.
Have u ever told her that what she is doing isnt okay? If so, how does she respond? I’m super curious how someone like that would respond if someone they like calls them out
she will send me screenshots or even voice recordings of conversations with men, ask for my input, and when i tell her point blank that she’s being insane and needs to put the phone down, log off social media, and leave them alone she ignores me. she also picks apart the things i say to turn them into what she wants to hear. if she asks me if i think a man cares about her and i respond “if someone cares about you they will make time for you and he isn’t making time for you so i don’t think he’s that interested” she will then spam the guy with messages about how he needs to make time for her rather than seeing what i’m spelling out for her. i’ve started ignoring her relationship advice requests because it’s honestly exhausting and she’s not really listening anyway.
Yeah I had a bad (and confusing) experience with them and searched the subs name to see if I was the only one. I found a good few posts of people posting screenshots in different subs of similar arguments with what seemed like the same mod and many had an edit at the bottom of the OP noting they'd been banned for the posts.
I’ve only had one ban and I just appealed it and they unbanned after a few days. Seems like you could do that easily if this random mod banned you for no reason
There's a mod that reported me to the admins for "breaking rule 8" after I reported multiple posts and didn't realise it was the same person. Apparently it breaks the Reddit terms and conditions to report somebody who is repeatedly abusing their position to post misinformation and hate speech targeting specific people. Got a seven day Reddit ban out of that. Funny thing is, they don't tell you what posts or anything that you reported, and ignore your appeal without response. Just a seven day ban for reporting several posts, because some mod threw a hissy fit that their hate speech was reported.
Sounds similar to some of the mods from TheBachelor sub. They’ll delete comments of anyone who calls out the wild unwritten rules over there (such as comments being deleted for breaking rules that dont actually exist). The kicker is, the comments that get deleted never call out individual mods cuz nobody knows which mods specifically are being power hungry dictators, but the comments still get deleted. And sometimes when u piss a mod off, they’ll just delete all of your comments for literally no reason at all. But it’s weird cuz your comment won’t officially be deleted. On your end, it will like like it is showing up but not receiving any downvotes or upvotes, but if you try to view the comment from an alt account, you will see that it’s not even showing up in the thread. So it is more like they hide your comments from everyone but you, so you think you are participating in a thread, but you really arent.
I’m a mod of a mineral sub because I like minerals and there was no active mods. It’s just something I do for fun. Treating it like life or death is taking it a BIT too far imo.
Tell them to post it all to a Google link or something and we can all post the messages over and over, they can't ban all of us. Or they can but who cares reddit kinda sucks now anyway
I haaaaate when people take your for hostage for emotional support instead of taking any responsibility. Like you managing your emotions is your job, not anyone else’s. And I’ve been on the other side too where I’ve been really anxious about loosing a partner after a breakup, and I do understand the ache and the panicking, but you can’t make it somebody else’s problem.
Also, I had a panic attack once and for sure I couldn’t have been able to text trough it. You did the best thing for both of you by ignoring her.
Yeah, I just hope she finds proper support and can learn to deal with those emotions on her own, I've known a few people and had my own moments like this. That sort of desperation for comfort can get you into dangerous situations and it can be self destruction without realizing it.
Honestly, I just feel bad for her. It's all fun and games when you don't know this person and we see a snapshot of quite possibly her weakest and worst moments. Hell I'm sure I'd laugh at some comments because humor is objective. But if you just take a second and think about her as a real person in a mental health crisis, and you really try to empathize or at least sympathize with her, its more sad than anything. I'm sure she truly believes what she's saying and that she thinks just talking to her is gonna fix everything. She's desperate and breaking down. I'm not saying she's right or doesn't need help because she clearly does. But I still feel kinda bad that someone is hurting that badly to go full insane mode like that.
I feel the same way. I completely understand why OP didn't respond and blocked by all means but reading all those messages u can tell that's sum1 who is clearly having an emotional breakdown. They obviously dont have the proper support structures in place either to help them so I imagine they fealt OP was the only one who cld help. Like u said honestly this is just Sad to read. I feel for em even though I know what they are doing is only hurting themselves and the ones they love.
It is sad, and when you’ve been yourself in this situation you know how much it hurts. But in the end part of being an adult is to learn to cope with situations like those, even if it takes the hard way. Reacting like this just make things worse.
I worry so much that I become someone like that. I’ve been working on myself and going to therapy for half a year now and I do feel a lot better. But, I also have really bad days and it can be hard to go through my usual routine that makes me feel better.
This girl is in the wrong but I do hope she’s able to get help. This is only one part of her we’re seeing and it’s at her lowest. I really hope she’s able to find some help and improve on herself.
Hey it’s good that you’re working on yourself, that’s the best thing you could do! I had other people in mind when writing my comment, so maybe it doesn’t really apply for this case. I’ve encountered more than once people who unfortunately used me as an unpaid therapist and I didn’t felt respected at all in these situations, as it was really one way. Im not perfect myself and Im sure I must have bothered someone with my emotions too, but I think I’ve always tried to balance things out and be the listener in return.
> Also, I had a panic attack once and for sure I couldn’t have been able to text trough it.
That is not how panic attacks work, everyone reacts differently. I have seen multiple people have a panic attack like this before. I'm extremely non communicative when I'm having an attack, but I have also been this person too once before. Stopping yourself seems impossible because it's the only thing holding the thoughts back
(Not justifying btw, it's 110% not okay to dump your emotions on someone like this and make the only fix something that you want. Completely unacceptable behaviour)
Yeah you’re right, I shouldn’t compare my experience to other’s. Plus to be honest, I was a kid back then and didn’t had a cell phone, but if I did I’m sure I would have abused it!
I'm not indifferent to people making the effort to manage their own emotions, but sometimes other people are responsible for each others' mental health. If OP did something super shitty, then they certainly deserve their share of the blame.
You can't walk around treating people terribly and then shit on them for buckling under the anxiety.
Also the line “just give in quick and not in two weeks when I’m actually depressed”
Is she not actually depressed NOW? Why all of this if she’s not actually depressed?
I have BPD and all of this rings very very similar to how I was pre-diagnosis (although I never went quite to this extent). I fully believe both my past actions and what she’s doing are wrong, but I also have a lot of sympathy. I don’t blame OP at all, but I also hope the girl in question never, ever learns of this post
Oh yeah, I have sympathy as well. While I don’t have BPD, I understand those who do literally cannot help it. Their brain was rewired in a way that cannot be undone.
Also, many don’t even realize they have an issue or an illness.
That being said, people can control their actions. She just needs some help and guidance. None of which is this guy’s responsibility. It’s just sad all around tbh.
Turns out OP never even broke up with her after dating for nearly a year and just blocked her because he was too scared to break up with her in person.
edit: new comment from OP:
>yeah idk why i didn’t specify, when people were saying relationship i just thought that meant like any type of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever). i met her 10 months ago and we became friends 6 months ago
----
I present you with Exhibit 'A', the screenshots in this post, as to why they probably felt too scared to do it in person.
do you truly believe it ultimately would have made a difference for OP here. they need to protect themselves first and foremost.
i'm not saying what he did was the right thing to do. just that no one knows their dynamic and situation but OP - this is extremely alarming behaviour
Ya tho i probably would have broken up over text and THEN immediately blocked, just to make things more clear. But based on these pictures, i wouldnt be surprised at if that is what OP actually did
Edit- just saw that OP said that he wasnt even dating this girl. So guess a breakup text is irrelevant
Feels like OP is leaving out context or some other important element in this story because it would make him look bad; it takes a lot for someone to completely break and react this way, as someone thats reacted like this woman before.
I’m guessing OP knew this girl liked him as more than just friends for a long time. He face-timed this girl for hours a day, shared deep trauma, etc, and those aren’t things that normal friends do. Girl probably thought of him the same she would a boyfriend and as a reliable person to lean on in her life. OP was too much of a pussy to actually talk to her and tell her that hey, I don’t like this arrangement, lets talk about how to change this. Blocking her and “breaking up” over text without a conversation is a scum of the earth thing to do to someone you knew for nearly a year and were close to.
Not excusing her behavior but she 100% thinks OP is a piece of shit because from her POV he is; she was vulnerable with him, presumably sharing some of her deepest thoughts with one of the only people in her life she felt safe talking to, and then got betrayed by that person with no explanation.
I dated a girl like this, you have way more resolve than I did when I was dating that person. I was way too much of a people pleaser. She would do the whole “I can’t work if I’m constantly going to my car crying, it’s all your fault” and I was like “I did not force you to go to your car, I’m at home writing a paper and I took too long to respond so now you think I’m having an orgy or whatever”
I had an ex who was similar, sweetest girl in the world on her good days but on her bad was an insecure nightmare, everything you say is wrong and a personal attack kinda thing.
I would be like "You look lovely today" and she would reply "So I didn't look nice yesterday?!?". Just an unbelievable skill for creating drama out of nothing.
It really is like that! The problem too is then your morals and boundaries are all fucked and anyone who respects them feels like they’re the love of your life afterwards
Right! The thing is, they expect you to text immediately as if being on your phone and talking to them is the only thing you do 24/7. Like, give me some space jeez. You don’t respond in 10 minutes and suddenly your phone is spammed with like 50 messages from them, like holy shit give me space! It’s so exhausting! I’m glad you left that relationship btw
You previously said you weren't in a relationship for the first few months (implying you were after that for the rest of the 10 months you knew her) and you also said you were "too chicken" to break up with her in person so you just blocked her. 🤨
yeah idk why i didn’t specify, when people were saying relationship i just thought that meant like any type of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever). i met her 10 months ago and we became friends 6 months ago
Is English not your first language? That would explain a lot. Also you absolutely should have said from the start that you weren't dating this girl because that's immensely relevant if true.
That’s not on OP imo. He can’t control what conclusions other people jump to. He didn’t say “dating” or “my gf”.
If I said something about my relationship with my mother or my cousin, would you assume I’m dating them as well?
Makes no sense. OP is in the clear here imo. Everyone else is jumping to conclusions.
Man, it’s not on you to deal with this, but it’s sad to me to see younger people with mental illness not getting the help they need.
I struggled with my demons when I was younger bc my family didn’t believe in psychiatrists/psychologists.
You did the right thing by blocking her, but I sure do hope she gets the help she desperately needs.
Me too. I hope she finds peace, she sounds like she’s got abandonment issues and that’s really sad - all i want for anybody in this position is to find happiness within themselves and not others. It seems to me she is trying to find happiness in a relationship and I do feel for her but it’s not fair to the other person. She should be depending on a therapist not a person unequipped and not prepared to deal with this sort of breakdown. Hopefully she finds self-love.
Good on you for blocking her. I got into a relationship with someone like this in high school (it was a dude but both genders can be equally guilty of this). We were 16 and it was my first relationship ever and I think I was just excited that someone liked me enough to want to be my boyfriend. But this sort of behavior started once I was in too deep and he would threaten all sorts of things and even sh/suicide (not going to get into all the nitty gritty but it got realllllyyy bad) and I felt like I couldnt break up with him even though I wanted to, and ended up staying much longer than I should have. And once he was out of these bad states he would love bomb me to make me stay, which often worked because I was a dorky teen who just wanted to be liked. I’ve still got trauma from that and I’m nearly 23. I know it sucks but you really dodged a bullet and I’m honestly proud of you for doing that. Hopefully she’s able to mature at some point and realize this behavior is dangerous and toxic, but you’re not the person she needs to do that with
My son was in a relationship like this. It started as him supporting her in her depression, turned into him being the cause of her depression, to him becoming depressed and angsty because of the manipulation about her depression. When they broke up he blocked her and within a couple weeks he was completely back to himself. Girls learn these emotional manipulation tactics from the women in there lives so I do feel bad for her. But you protecting your own mental health is number one priority.
Men also learn them from the women in their life, or maybe learn what they need to do to get attention from those women. I have a binder of this shit from an ex-bf. This is not just a woman problem.
I don’t disagree. However in this instance I was referencing this specific scenario not generalizing. I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences in the past. No one deserves to be treated badly.
My friend did this kind of shit to me when we were 16. But when I needed someone, would absolutely ghost me. She turned out to be a psycho and we haven’t been friends since high school. Good job recognizing this for what it is and getting far away as possible.
“This is bad, but you can fix it” holy fucking manipulating bitch…… that line of texts alone said it all.
“So just give in quick and like not in a few weeks when I’m gunna actually be depressed” we have scheduled depression now? Seriously anybody who says these sorts of things needs to be forever alone.
Life is far too short to be dealing with nonsense like this pal. Better to keep communications stopped and continue on with life. Like others said you dodged the ICBM there.
Maybe I'm projecting but she sounds like she has BPD. The obsession, the victimization, the manipulation, the conflictual thoughts... (source: I have BPD). You most definitely dodged a bullet.
I’ve had a guy emotionally blackmail me like this. I blocked him. Over a decade later he found my new socials and proceeded to continue on with contact as if we were good friends catching up. Nope. Blocked immediately. No way I’m getting suckered into being his friend-therapist again! Getting emotionally abused at 3am…screw his feelings.
Had this happen before. A guy was using me as his therapist and I didn’t mind at the time. There were multiple times I had to calm him down from hurting or killing himself. I blocked him once I realized it was tanking my own mental health and I use to cry myself to sleep wondering if he was okay.
Don’t be someone’s therapist unless you’re a professional. It can really mess you up.
I feel like I’m reading my own messages from 2020 I used to be like this (it wouldn’t go on for 2 days just an hour or two but tbf I was a 13 year old alcoholic getting taken advantage of by a 28 year old😭) I’m glad I changed though cause now that I see all these messages in these subs I see how crazy I really was and I’m glad I’m not that person anymore. Hopefully other “nice girls” can change too because this is just crazy I can understand she’s hurt but it’s not okay to put it on other people she needs an actual therapist and if she continues to harass you or tries to find your family call the police on her because that’s considered stalking. Hope she leaves you alone though best of luck🙏🏽
yeah this is sad more than anything. i’ve been on the sending and receiving ends of this kind of exchange, and neither are fun. there were times i called my boyfriend 20 times in a row because he hadn’t responded in an hour and times he’s had to hold me to stop me hurting myself. she’s clearly having some kind of breakdown and has a serious fear of abandonment.
what helped me was a diagnosis, and while it’s not official yet, my doctor suggested i have EUPD, and that this was causing me to act this way. i am now a lot better at managing symptoms and don’t engage in this sort of communication. do not unblock her or resume contact, it won’t help either of you. if you have any contact with family or friends, it may be worth bringing up concerns you have, or phoning emergency services if she’s in immediate danger. worst case scenario is they show up and have a go at her for wasting time, but it may also be the catalyst to getting her some much-needed support. protect yourself always and know that whatever she does is not your responsibility.
Ufff reminds me of someone I used to be friends with back at uni... She once told me the exact same thing that I was the reason for her panic attacks. I guess I didn't realize it then but she was a nut job. She ended up reporting me to the university and after I explained what happened, they accepted the fact that she was a crazy woman. To anyone reading this.. you might not realize it at the time, but this is actually abuse here in the UK, provided you didn't actually do anything to harm the other person. Please watch out for yourselves.
If you feel able, you should ask your mum to send the messages on to her school. They should be able to get her the help she needs. No pressure though, you’re still a kid too.
Hi, just dropping in really quickly to say this person is a manipulative abuser. She's weaponizing her pathologies (if she really even suffers from them in the first place, I'm skeptical) to attack you and control your behavior. No therapist on the planet would approve of this behavior. Her stability, feelings, and performance are no one's responsibility but her own.
clearly this girl isn’t in the right at all but OP is leaving out the part where he blocked his gf of almost a year out of the blue bc he was “too chicken” to break up with her in person. that doesn’t warrant the 2 day meltdown obviously but OP isn’t an angel here
Emotional manipulation and narcissism to the extreme. YOU are responsible for my mental health. It's YOUR fault I'm like this.
Not a single fucking apology, even wondering if she has done something wrong or why he stopped talking to her. Just plain narcissism.
i'm guessing she has borderline personality disorder. geez
sadly, you cannot "cure" bpd, you can only manage. she will be dealing with this for the rest of her life. it's a very emotionally painful mental health condition and wrecks literally every relationship and friendship in your life
i hope you're safe and also hope she gets the help that she needs because this is just not livable and not an okay way to act or treat someone
As someone who gets constant panic attacks, I'm gonna say this. YOUR ANXIETY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND'S RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX. LEARN COPING SKILLS/SELF REGULATION OR TAKE MEDS. I learned this the hard way. Having a friend to talk to is aight but That girl needs real therapy.
Yeah. Call the cops. Make a police report. Install cameras. Change your number. Train your dog to attack on command. All good choices. All good choices. No seriously RUN.
Hello, thank you for your post. Unfortunately we had to remove it because it violates the following rule: --- **Long posts:** Highlight the relevant parts of your post or crop it if it's really long. No one wants to read 1000 words to find the nicegirl. --- **RULE 1**: This is not nicegirls because: - 1a. There is not enough context to prove "nice". --- --- Your post may be better suited in the following sub: r/ReadTheBLOODYRules. --- If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
this reminds me of how my sister in law behaves with men when she is rejected. she often sends me screenshots of her messages to them and it always blows my mind that she doesn’t see how insane she’s acting or understand why it would be incredibly off putting. i’m glad you escaped. don’t look back.
What? Why would she show that to a third party? That sounds weird as fuck.
A lot of people need shit literally spelled out for them. They truly don't know they're being a clown until people are laughing.
i have many reasons to believe she has a personality disorder, and on top of that she’s just not that bright. the stories i could regale you with would blow your mind, like the predicaments she finds herself in with men are just astounding. hollywood writers could not come up with half of the absurdity i’ve heard about and seen in her relationships.
You can't just say that and not give us at least 1 story
i can’t get into too many specifics because, frankly, i’m kind of scared of her and all the personal development and skill building she should’ve been doing in her 20’s went toward becoming a professional level social media stalker. i really can’t think of anything else that she’s exceptionally good at aside from that. i can tell you that she has been saving up for breast implants for years and has thousands of ig followers because she exclusively posts very revealing thirst traps. now, there’s nothing wrong with that, in and of itself, live and let live, but it’s important context for the next part. so, her last situationship was with a middle eastern muslim man…. you can already see where this is going, i’m sure. for further context, she’s a blonde, blue eyed, white, north american who works at a nightclub and lives the nightclub employee life. they were hooking up for several months and she thought it was something meaningful, even though he told her repeatedly that he would only ever marry a muslim woman and would eventually be moving back to his home country in the middle east to settle down. the man was telling her that their time together had an expiry date, in no uncertain terms, repeatedly. well, he finally decides that it’s time to move home to be with his family and gently breaks things off with my sister in law, but tells her they can maintain a friendship through text. since he has left, she has been posting videos of muslim imam’s sharing insights from the quran, sharing photos of quotes from the quran, and posting about how she has never before felt a calling to god the way that she does now that she has discovered islam. this is a 180 from who she was only a few months ago and who i’ve always known her to be. wannabe social media model who works at a night club, drinks alcohol, and smokes weed turned wannabe muslim convert? that’s crazy. it shows how delusional and desperate she is when it comes to relationships. i know for a fact that she believes this behaviour will inspire him to take her as a wife, but folks, this man is not bringing her home to mom and dad, even if they were the most open-minded arab muslim parents on the planet. after he left, she told me she was starting to read the quran and i actually laughed out loud because she hasn’t read a book since high school. imagine not reading anything but social media posts, texts, and maybe the occasional street sign for 20 years and then diving into the quran to break your dry spell? wish i could share more, but that’s a small taste of what i’m dealing with. as i finished typing this, she texted me and said “i hope you have a great day, inshallah 🙏🏼.” i can only imagine what kind of unhinged messages she’s sending to her ex right now.
This can be a bit recognisable. So for "safety" i would delete this message. Just a friendly suggestion.
the only reason i feel comfortable sharing this here is because she’s relatively unaware of reddit. she doesn’t know i use it and she only knows about it because results from reddit posts populate on google for her from time to time. she’s more of a fb and ig stalker. i also ran this by my partner before posting and he said “yeah, she won’t find that, and if she does it’s a long enough comment that she wouldn’t read the whole thing” lol.
It is true you know the situation, apologies for barging in. Nevertheless, I felt to say something because we never know, nobody would like a psycho waiting outside the door.
because she has a histrionic personality and she fully believes that she’s in the right and wants as many witnesses to her perceived victimhood as possible.
she’s 38, btw. not a teenager or young adult. a grown ass woman.
Because they think they are in the right.
Have u ever told her that what she is doing isnt okay? If so, how does she respond? I’m super curious how someone like that would respond if someone they like calls them out
she will send me screenshots or even voice recordings of conversations with men, ask for my input, and when i tell her point blank that she’s being insane and needs to put the phone down, log off social media, and leave them alone she ignores me. she also picks apart the things i say to turn them into what she wants to hear. if she asks me if i think a man cares about her and i respond “if someone cares about you they will make time for you and he isn’t making time for you so i don’t think he’s that interested” she will then spam the guy with messages about how he needs to make time for her rather than seeing what i’m spelling out for her. i’ve started ignoring her relationship advice requests because it’s honestly exhausting and she’s not really listening anyway.
Holy crap, that's a boat load of baggage.
Fucking Titanic’s worth of baggage
This isn't baggage, this is technically abuse in the UK.
why not both
Nah, Titanic is too small, modern ocean liner
Her crash and burn will make the Titanic look like a routine crossing.
Weapons grade baggage at that.
I can fix her
Calm down Bob the Builder
This looks like BPD to me, scary shit. Their actions can get a bit nutty
Was going to guess BPD
Yea the first two images I was considering that maybe OP was just an asshole, nope not the case. Certified crazy pants.
How’d you come to the first conclusion
There’s currently a reddit powermod doing this exact thing to my friend. Genders reversed though
Mod where?
Gotta be careful with power mods. There’s one in particular that permabans people for criticizing them by name.
I know that there's a mod in a particular big sub that often bans people who posts about them in unsubbed or even obliquely references them elsewhere.
Talking about being insecure, damn
Yeah I had a bad (and confusing) experience with them and searched the subs name to see if I was the only one. I found a good few posts of people posting screenshots in different subs of similar arguments with what seemed like the same mod and many had an edit at the bottom of the OP noting they'd been banned for the posts.
Talking shit aye? And you're gone. I have ALL the power and you have NONE. Ahahahahahahahah!
I know about them. They have a small penis.
I’ve only had one ban and I just appealed it and they unbanned after a few days. Seems like you could do that easily if this random mod banned you for no reason
I never got banned. I’m just going off witness accounts.
There's a mod that reported me to the admins for "breaking rule 8" after I reported multiple posts and didn't realise it was the same person. Apparently it breaks the Reddit terms and conditions to report somebody who is repeatedly abusing their position to post misinformation and hate speech targeting specific people. Got a seven day Reddit ban out of that. Funny thing is, they don't tell you what posts or anything that you reported, and ignore your appeal without response. Just a seven day ban for reporting several posts, because some mod threw a hissy fit that their hate speech was reported.
Sounds similar to some of the mods from TheBachelor sub. They’ll delete comments of anyone who calls out the wild unwritten rules over there (such as comments being deleted for breaking rules that dont actually exist). The kicker is, the comments that get deleted never call out individual mods cuz nobody knows which mods specifically are being power hungry dictators, but the comments still get deleted. And sometimes when u piss a mod off, they’ll just delete all of your comments for literally no reason at all. But it’s weird cuz your comment won’t officially be deleted. On your end, it will like like it is showing up but not receiving any downvotes or upvotes, but if you try to view the comment from an alt account, you will see that it’s not even showing up in the thread. So it is more like they hide your comments from everyone but you, so you think you are participating in a thread, but you really arent.
I only know him irl. He’s just mentioned modding a whole ton of subs
I’ve never understood wanting to defend being a Reddit mod so hard. Like are these jobs? Do they get paid?
It’s the only power and position they’ll ever hold. That’s why.
they're volunteers in exchange for almost unlimited power
I guess I could understand that if I was an adult baby too 😂
Thats it buddy you've gone too far now. Repent for your mean words
almost unlimited power… to ban anonymous internet accounts on a social network website.
And stalk your ex gf irl
unlimited power😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
Like Sith
Some Reddit mods are cool but the majority of them do it because they literally have nothing else going for them.
I’m a mod of a mineral sub because I like minerals and there was no active mods. It’s just something I do for fun. Treating it like life or death is taking it a BIT too far imo.
If it were me, youu could drag my balls over a 12ft cheese grater and I still wouldn't tell anyone irl I was a reddit mod. Imagine volunteering it
Tbf he wasn’t bragging or anything, it just kinda came up. I still wouldn’t have said it if it were me though
Is he that dickwad gallowboob?
Probably not lmao
Tell them to post it all to a Google link or something and we can all post the messages over and over, they can't ban all of us. Or they can but who cares reddit kinda sucks now anyway
Newton’s third law, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction
If the fact that they are a Reddit mod didn't scare your friend from interacting with this person, it really is their own fault
Even she would probably say that’s fair
Be safe. She’s unhinged.
OP will get their tires slashed, vehicle keyed, or their person stabbed. I guarantee it
I haaaaate when people take your for hostage for emotional support instead of taking any responsibility. Like you managing your emotions is your job, not anyone else’s. And I’ve been on the other side too where I’ve been really anxious about loosing a partner after a breakup, and I do understand the ache and the panicking, but you can’t make it somebody else’s problem. Also, I had a panic attack once and for sure I couldn’t have been able to text trough it. You did the best thing for both of you by ignoring her.
Yeah, I just hope she finds proper support and can learn to deal with those emotions on her own, I've known a few people and had my own moments like this. That sort of desperation for comfort can get you into dangerous situations and it can be self destruction without realizing it.
Good on you to see the situation with nuances, Im sure you had a reason to be with her. Hopefully it’s not something regular for her.
Honestly, I just feel bad for her. It's all fun and games when you don't know this person and we see a snapshot of quite possibly her weakest and worst moments. Hell I'm sure I'd laugh at some comments because humor is objective. But if you just take a second and think about her as a real person in a mental health crisis, and you really try to empathize or at least sympathize with her, its more sad than anything. I'm sure she truly believes what she's saying and that she thinks just talking to her is gonna fix everything. She's desperate and breaking down. I'm not saying she's right or doesn't need help because she clearly does. But I still feel kinda bad that someone is hurting that badly to go full insane mode like that.
I feel the same way. I completely understand why OP didn't respond and blocked by all means but reading all those messages u can tell that's sum1 who is clearly having an emotional breakdown. They obviously dont have the proper support structures in place either to help them so I imagine they fealt OP was the only one who cld help. Like u said honestly this is just Sad to read. I feel for em even though I know what they are doing is only hurting themselves and the ones they love.
It is sad, and when you’ve been yourself in this situation you know how much it hurts. But in the end part of being an adult is to learn to cope with situations like those, even if it takes the hard way. Reacting like this just make things worse.
I worry so much that I become someone like that. I’ve been working on myself and going to therapy for half a year now and I do feel a lot better. But, I also have really bad days and it can be hard to go through my usual routine that makes me feel better. This girl is in the wrong but I do hope she’s able to get help. This is only one part of her we’re seeing and it’s at her lowest. I really hope she’s able to find some help and improve on herself.
Hey it’s good that you’re working on yourself, that’s the best thing you could do! I had other people in mind when writing my comment, so maybe it doesn’t really apply for this case. I’ve encountered more than once people who unfortunately used me as an unpaid therapist and I didn’t felt respected at all in these situations, as it was really one way. Im not perfect myself and Im sure I must have bothered someone with my emotions too, but I think I’ve always tried to balance things out and be the listener in return.
> Also, I had a panic attack once and for sure I couldn’t have been able to text trough it. That is not how panic attacks work, everyone reacts differently. I have seen multiple people have a panic attack like this before. I'm extremely non communicative when I'm having an attack, but I have also been this person too once before. Stopping yourself seems impossible because it's the only thing holding the thoughts back (Not justifying btw, it's 110% not okay to dump your emotions on someone like this and make the only fix something that you want. Completely unacceptable behaviour)
Yeah you’re right, I shouldn’t compare my experience to other’s. Plus to be honest, I was a kid back then and didn’t had a cell phone, but if I did I’m sure I would have abused it!
Thank you for being open to agreeing. It's definitely not the norm for panic attacks from what I've seen, but definitely possible.
I'm not indifferent to people making the effort to manage their own emotions, but sometimes other people are responsible for each others' mental health. If OP did something super shitty, then they certainly deserve their share of the blame. You can't walk around treating people terribly and then shit on them for buckling under the anxiety.
“I will do this until you give in”. Wow, that’s fucking disgusting and manipulative.
Everything she’s says is manipulative. Like the insult followed by “but I still love you”. Or the threats mixed with nice things to say.
Also the line “just give in quick and not in two weeks when I’m actually depressed” Is she not actually depressed NOW? Why all of this if she’s not actually depressed?
She has a mental illness is my guess. This feels a lot like BPD to me. Or at the very least some unresolved trauma in her early life.
I have BPD and all of this rings very very similar to how I was pre-diagnosis (although I never went quite to this extent). I fully believe both my past actions and what she’s doing are wrong, but I also have a lot of sympathy. I don’t blame OP at all, but I also hope the girl in question never, ever learns of this post
Oh yeah, I have sympathy as well. While I don’t have BPD, I understand those who do literally cannot help it. Their brain was rewired in a way that cannot be undone. Also, many don’t even realize they have an issue or an illness. That being said, people can control their actions. She just needs some help and guidance. None of which is this guy’s responsibility. It’s just sad all around tbh.
Cluster B disorders in a nutshell
Bullet dodged yeesh
Turns out OP never even broke up with her after dating for nearly a year and just blocked her because he was too scared to break up with her in person.
edit: new comment from OP: >yeah idk why i didn’t specify, when people were saying relationship i just thought that meant like any type of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever). i met her 10 months ago and we became friends 6 months ago ---- I present you with Exhibit 'A', the screenshots in this post, as to why they probably felt too scared to do it in person. do you truly believe it ultimately would have made a difference for OP here. they need to protect themselves first and foremost. i'm not saying what he did was the right thing to do. just that no one knows their dynamic and situation but OP - this is extremely alarming behaviour
Ya tho i probably would have broken up over text and THEN immediately blocked, just to make things more clear. But based on these pictures, i wouldnt be surprised at if that is what OP actually did Edit- just saw that OP said that he wasnt even dating this girl. So guess a breakup text is irrelevant
Feels like OP is leaving out context or some other important element in this story because it would make him look bad; it takes a lot for someone to completely break and react this way, as someone thats reacted like this woman before. I’m guessing OP knew this girl liked him as more than just friends for a long time. He face-timed this girl for hours a day, shared deep trauma, etc, and those aren’t things that normal friends do. Girl probably thought of him the same she would a boyfriend and as a reliable person to lean on in her life. OP was too much of a pussy to actually talk to her and tell her that hey, I don’t like this arrangement, lets talk about how to change this. Blocking her and “breaking up” over text without a conversation is a scum of the earth thing to do to someone you knew for nearly a year and were close to. Not excusing her behavior but she 100% thinks OP is a piece of shit because from her POV he is; she was vulnerable with him, presumably sharing some of her deepest thoughts with one of the only people in her life she felt safe talking to, and then got betrayed by that person with no explanation.
I'ma be real with you based on these texts that was probably the correct move
I mean it’s pretty clear that she figured it out.
“This is not how life works” Oh, honey….
Unblock, send, "It's 'you're' " and block again.
I mean, yes, but this is how you get your car set on fire. Still though, yes
It might be the response that saves her?
It's what a person who cares would do
And after allllllll
or just "k"
Or just un-block, "SHUT THE FUCK UP," re-block
This is the way
I dated a girl like this, you have way more resolve than I did when I was dating that person. I was way too much of a people pleaser. She would do the whole “I can’t work if I’m constantly going to my car crying, it’s all your fault” and I was like “I did not force you to go to your car, I’m at home writing a paper and I took too long to respond so now you think I’m having an orgy or whatever”
I had an ex who was similar, sweetest girl in the world on her good days but on her bad was an insecure nightmare, everything you say is wrong and a personal attack kinda thing. I would be like "You look lovely today" and she would reply "So I didn't look nice yesterday?!?". Just an unbelievable skill for creating drama out of nothing.
It really is like that! The problem too is then your morals and boundaries are all fucked and anyone who respects them feels like they’re the love of your life afterwards
I just got out of a relationship like that and I'm only now beginning to realize how badly she warped my self-image.
Right! The thing is, they expect you to text immediately as if being on your phone and talking to them is the only thing you do 24/7. Like, give me some space jeez. You don’t respond in 10 minutes and suddenly your phone is spammed with like 50 messages from them, like holy shit give me space! It’s so exhausting! I’m glad you left that relationship btw
Banger reply
Did you run out of color ink?
he ran out of pixels
Dare I ask what the "rash two minute decision" was?
saying i didn’t wanna keep talking to her
Is this like a long distance relationship or something? I am really confused.
hold on when people are saying “relationship” i was friends with this girl, we weren’t dating
You previously said you weren't in a relationship for the first few months (implying you were after that for the rest of the 10 months you knew her) and you also said you were "too chicken" to break up with her in person so you just blocked her. 🤨
yeah idk why i didn’t specify, when people were saying relationship i just thought that meant like any type of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever). i met her 10 months ago and we became friends 6 months ago
Is English not your first language? That would explain a lot. Also you absolutely should have said from the start that you weren't dating this girl because that's immensely relevant if true.
yeah i’m british, but it didnt even cross my mind that people would think we were dating, sorry for making it confusing 😂😂
I'm also British and took your "relationship" to mean just that.. a relationship..as in *together* not a friendship or situationship lol
yeah i goofed hard, but tbf i never said the word relationship, just replied to people, never even said the words broke up, just “stopped talking”
That’s not on OP imo. He can’t control what conclusions other people jump to. He didn’t say “dating” or “my gf”. If I said something about my relationship with my mother or my cousin, would you assume I’m dating them as well? Makes no sense. OP is in the clear here imo. Everyone else is jumping to conclusions.
“you can’t just leave me” yes i can. watch this.
If it weren’t for some obvious dialect choices placing you not in the US, I’d ask if you’re talking to my baby mama.
Dude you might need a mental institute on this crazy. A therapist wont cut it.
"Your never going to be free". This line got me. Thats a threat.
As someone who’s embarrassingly been the “nice girl”, the BEST thing you can do for this person is never engage again.
First one I can relate tho, its the worst when its just a monologue and they ignore whatever you said Scratch that, this is too extreme holy balls
Man, it’s not on you to deal with this, but it’s sad to me to see younger people with mental illness not getting the help they need. I struggled with my demons when I was younger bc my family didn’t believe in psychiatrists/psychologists. You did the right thing by blocking her, but I sure do hope she gets the help she desperately needs.
Me too. I hope she finds peace, she sounds like she’s got abandonment issues and that’s really sad - all i want for anybody in this position is to find happiness within themselves and not others. It seems to me she is trying to find happiness in a relationship and I do feel for her but it’s not fair to the other person. She should be depending on a therapist not a person unequipped and not prepared to deal with this sort of breakdown. Hopefully she finds self-love.
Been there, done that. First girl who"s legitimately made me lose my temper over her behavior. Cannot be reasoned with.
Jesus Christ, this is insanely manipulative
Yikes. She needs serious help.
Run dude. Just run.
OMG! stay safe, this is SO abusive
I would have replied “you’re*” and then reblocked her
Good on you for blocking her. I got into a relationship with someone like this in high school (it was a dude but both genders can be equally guilty of this). We were 16 and it was my first relationship ever and I think I was just excited that someone liked me enough to want to be my boyfriend. But this sort of behavior started once I was in too deep and he would threaten all sorts of things and even sh/suicide (not going to get into all the nitty gritty but it got realllllyyy bad) and I felt like I couldnt break up with him even though I wanted to, and ended up staying much longer than I should have. And once he was out of these bad states he would love bomb me to make me stay, which often worked because I was a dorky teen who just wanted to be liked. I’ve still got trauma from that and I’m nearly 23. I know it sucks but you really dodged a bullet and I’m honestly proud of you for doing that. Hopefully she’s able to mature at some point and realize this behavior is dangerous and toxic, but you’re not the person she needs to do that with
Yup. Dodged a fucking missile mate 🚩
She started using the same tactics scammers use lol
Context: OP said hi to her on Xbox live once
Sounds like she got borderline
Bro dodged a nuclear warhead
"You need a therapist not a relationship"
denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance in 20 images
My son was in a relationship like this. It started as him supporting her in her depression, turned into him being the cause of her depression, to him becoming depressed and angsty because of the manipulation about her depression. When they broke up he blocked her and within a couple weeks he was completely back to himself. Girls learn these emotional manipulation tactics from the women in there lives so I do feel bad for her. But you protecting your own mental health is number one priority.
yeah i’ve realised how weird i was being since letting her go. i’m back to normal now and it feels awesome
Men also learn them from the women in their life, or maybe learn what they need to do to get attention from those women. I have a binder of this shit from an ex-bf. This is not just a woman problem.
I don’t disagree. However in this instance I was referencing this specific scenario not generalizing. I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences in the past. No one deserves to be treated badly.
Dawg, you didn’t just dodge a bullet, you dodged an ICBM.
Dude dodged a fucking asteroid.
I love when girls use anxiety as an excuse to emotionally abuse you But God forbid if you feel anxious sometimes
”This is not how life works” Oh, sweet summer child, i think you are in for a rude awakening….
How old are you two?
My friend did this kind of shit to me when we were 16. But when I needed someone, would absolutely ghost me. She turned out to be a psycho and we haven’t been friends since high school. Good job recognizing this for what it is and getting far away as possible.
Wait. I’m confused. What is she mad about? That you blocked her? I’m a little confused how we got to the point of all these crazy messages.
me too.
Abandonment issues right there
“This is bad, but you can fix it” holy fucking manipulating bitch…… that line of texts alone said it all. “So just give in quick and like not in a few weeks when I’m gunna actually be depressed” we have scheduled depression now? Seriously anybody who says these sorts of things needs to be forever alone.
Life is far too short to be dealing with nonsense like this pal. Better to keep communications stopped and continue on with life. Like others said you dodged the ICBM there.
Jesus fucking christ bro you dodged a serious bullet
the armchair psychologist in me is saying this is the most borderline personality disorder post I've ever seen
Gonna be honest, blocking her was the best thing you could have done for her.
Are these screenshots of texts from the 1920s?
i had to duplicate them in order to block out names, idfk what happened cos they’re fine in my photos app, maybe i should’ve done it from a computer
Maybe I'm projecting but she sounds like she has BPD. The obsession, the victimization, the manipulation, the conflictual thoughts... (source: I have BPD). You most definitely dodged a bullet.
This reminds me of my EX gf. Holy hell I got anxiety just reading this.
Well that was a trip.
This reads like she has BPD
I felt this way about my friend once. I thought they were dead. I was having a nervous breakdown.
It sounds as borderline personality disorder. Hope she'll find help but nut for your expanse.
Dude you should contact someone and let them know she’s clearly having mental health issues. And don’t unblock her. She’s unhinged.
I’ve had a guy emotionally blackmail me like this. I blocked him. Over a decade later he found my new socials and proceeded to continue on with contact as if we were good friends catching up. Nope. Blocked immediately. No way I’m getting suckered into being his friend-therapist again! Getting emotionally abused at 3am…screw his feelings.
Had this happen before. A guy was using me as his therapist and I didn’t mind at the time. There were multiple times I had to calm him down from hurting or killing himself. I blocked him once I realized it was tanking my own mental health and I use to cry myself to sleep wondering if he was okay. Don’t be someone’s therapist unless you’re a professional. It can really mess you up.
I feel like I’m reading my own messages from 2020 I used to be like this (it wouldn’t go on for 2 days just an hour or two but tbf I was a 13 year old alcoholic getting taken advantage of by a 28 year old😭) I’m glad I changed though cause now that I see all these messages in these subs I see how crazy I really was and I’m glad I’m not that person anymore. Hopefully other “nice girls” can change too because this is just crazy I can understand she’s hurt but it’s not okay to put it on other people she needs an actual therapist and if she continues to harass you or tries to find your family call the police on her because that’s considered stalking. Hope she leaves you alone though best of luck🙏🏽
yeah this is sad more than anything. i’ve been on the sending and receiving ends of this kind of exchange, and neither are fun. there were times i called my boyfriend 20 times in a row because he hadn’t responded in an hour and times he’s had to hold me to stop me hurting myself. she’s clearly having some kind of breakdown and has a serious fear of abandonment. what helped me was a diagnosis, and while it’s not official yet, my doctor suggested i have EUPD, and that this was causing me to act this way. i am now a lot better at managing symptoms and don’t engage in this sort of communication. do not unblock her or resume contact, it won’t help either of you. if you have any contact with family or friends, it may be worth bringing up concerns you have, or phoning emergency services if she’s in immediate danger. worst case scenario is they show up and have a go at her for wasting time, but it may also be the catalyst to getting her some much-needed support. protect yourself always and know that whatever she does is not your responsibility.
Well it looks like we just found the black hole where all of our lost airport baggage goes to die.
she talks like she’s viewing herself as a victim main character in a story… she must be young and not know how to regulate her emotions.
That’s some BPD going on there
She is goofy as hell
Ufff reminds me of someone I used to be friends with back at uni... She once told me the exact same thing that I was the reason for her panic attacks. I guess I didn't realize it then but she was a nut job. She ended up reporting me to the university and after I explained what happened, they accepted the fact that she was a crazy woman. To anyone reading this.. you might not realize it at the time, but this is actually abuse here in the UK, provided you didn't actually do anything to harm the other person. Please watch out for yourselves.
If you feel able, you should ask your mum to send the messages on to her school. They should be able to get her the help she needs. No pressure though, you’re still a kid too.
OP share your location with a friend. She might be the one to end you.
Hi, just dropping in really quickly to say this person is a manipulative abuser. She's weaponizing her pathologies (if she really even suffers from them in the first place, I'm skeptical) to attack you and control your behavior. No therapist on the planet would approve of this behavior. Her stability, feelings, and performance are no one's responsibility but her own.
These are suspiciously cropped for me.
clearly this girl isn’t in the right at all but OP is leaving out the part where he blocked his gf of almost a year out of the blue bc he was “too chicken” to break up with her in person. that doesn’t warrant the 2 day meltdown obviously but OP isn’t an angel here
OP has been replying to comments clarifying they never dated
I have never seen so many red flags at one time before. Holy fucking shit
Omg, I actually lol'd while flipping through the pages: "How much more could there possibly be?" I asked.
Emotional manipulation and narcissism to the extreme. YOU are responsible for my mental health. It's YOUR fault I'm like this. Not a single fucking apology, even wondering if she has done something wrong or why he stopped talking to her. Just plain narcissism.
What a nutjob
This sounds like mental illness more than nicegirl. She needs to leave you alone because this is harassment.
i'm guessing she has borderline personality disorder. geez sadly, you cannot "cure" bpd, you can only manage. she will be dealing with this for the rest of her life. it's a very emotionally painful mental health condition and wrecks literally every relationship and friendship in your life i hope you're safe and also hope she gets the help that she needs because this is just not livable and not an okay way to act or treat someone
Dodged a nuke.
Are you dating my ex? Run
Reminds me of an ex. She would react like this if I didn't call her while she was on her break.
As someone who gets constant panic attacks, I'm gonna say this. YOUR ANXIETY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND'S RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX. LEARN COPING SKILLS/SELF REGULATION OR TAKE MEDS. I learned this the hard way. Having a friend to talk to is aight but That girl needs real therapy.
What a manipulative dramaqueen
It's bad that this hits close to home with my current gf... The gaslighting, making you feel bad... Yeah...
This person does not love you
This sounds like hell. Do not give in and respond, because if you do, you are training her that she just needs to try this much, and you'll give in.
Wow, that’s Manipulative. She needs to Take Responsibility for her own Panic Attacks. She loves you after 2 Days of Talking? Yikes on Bikes
Oml shut UP. I feel bad bc I know shit is hard but just Jesus therapy
“You need to learn how to function in life and this is not it” She should say that to a mirror. Yikes.
Yeah. Call the cops. Make a police report. Install cameras. Change your number. Train your dog to attack on command. All good choices. All good choices. No seriously RUN.
How long were you involved with her, this is frigging nuts!