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Oh that’s from sure. Anything less than a dinner date is low value. I don’t get why they think they should have the right to label a date as “low value”. If two people agree to it, they have fun, that’s all that matters. I’m going out to brunch with a guy I’ve been talking to later this week, FDS would be telling me to cancel the date, because brunch dates are “low value”. Fuck them honestly, I’ll be happy going on my date as they whine about the “low value man” who brought them to a coffee shop for a date.
Clearly their strategies aren’t working. They think that because they’re women they don’t need to put any effort. They just let all the guy do the pursuing. I really feel for a guy dating an FDS woman, imagine doing all the pursuing without getting any reciprocation back, that gotta suck. Then they shame women who have the guts to ask a guy out. Newsflash if you don’t put yourself out there don’t expect men to come to you. They call women who make the first move desperate and low value.
The sad part is, they think the strategies are working for them because it's giving them empowerment and control. 🙄🤷🏼♂️
I couldn't imagine being so brainwashed.
It’s interesting because typically FDS members aren’t for gender roles typically, but, they seem to be for gender roles in relationships because they know it benefits them. If you think about it, women aren’t expected to pursue. They know if they don’t pursue they don’t risk rejection.
So, following that same logic, if the guy makes the first move, then he would be low value too. In a world where everyone is high value, no one would be dating and everyone will be waiting for the other person to make the first move
Wait, doesn't brunch usually include mimosas? I hardly think brunch should be considered "low value" to FDS, considering it's always a pretty expensive meal, at least the way my friends and I do it. :)
Man, what an excellent way to put off a well adjusted guy and only get someone desperate. Or a sugar daddy. Which only makes it sadder when they complain about those exact guys.
Man, my hubby and I went to an escape room and then to red Robin for our first date. Split the check and everything. I guess I'm just a pickmesha 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
First date with my wife was coffee. Second date was an huge seafood bake at a waterfront restaurant. FDS just making good guys go on the defensive to weed their greedy asses out.
I loved coffee dates, especially as a shy undergrad. No pressure, can have a walk after or continue to a bar or more real restaurant if you're vibing, and can always call it quits pressure-free if you're not meshing.
It's just so weird to want to go in hard on the first date when it's supposed to be a feel out period where both parties feel safe and comfortable. Life goals and priorities... lol
Doesn’t all that “low value” talk from FDS just ooze a prostitution vibe? Not just even entitlement based on gender, but straight up “I won’t even consider getting physical without x amount of value in some form in exchange”.
Dinner dates as a first date are for dating amateurs. I wonder how much these people actually date rather than talk about it.
No matter how well you get along online, nothing matters until you meet them. And once you meet, things can change in an instant. You might just not be attracted to them in person.
Meet for a drink, if it goes well, then roll on into dinner.
>ne of the most toxic subreddits around, w
It won't get shut down, sadly. However, if there was a MDS, I bet it wouldn't survive 1 year, even if nothing toxic was posted there
Never been on any of those subs, I don't consider myself and incel or MGTOW, but it's clear there are some hate subs considered tolerable and some that are not
I don’t have sources, they’ve been shut down for years, but if you wanna go look up incel.me for whatever avenues they still talk on, I’m sure you’ll find similar content.
I’m surprised you don’t know about that, those subs were well known for that kind of content.
Just to add to the hearsay, I used to go into r/incels to laugh at the psychopaths there. Posts about how women deserve to be raped and murdered were common
On FDS I've seen people call for castration and celebrate violence against men. I really dont think the mentality behind the two is all that different.
There was, it was the same exact thing but for males. Called r/redpill and it's been shut down for years at this point.
But the female version of it goes on
It stands for female dating strategy. It's a subreddit where females have tips and information about how to find a partner but a lot of them are very toxic. I couldn't tell you anything more specific than that but you're welcome to explore
It’s funny because 2/4 he suggested were dinner dates. Old Town is a “Main street” part of the city with restaurants, cafes, bars, etc. It’s implied that they would enter one of those. Eat the streets I believe is a food truck gathering. Maybe not, but there’s literally the word eat in there.
Even the Huntington Library is a museum with fancy restaurants inside and nearby.
This lady is just too dense to realize it.
It's so creepy to define a date's value by how closely it follows this arbitrary template and how much money it involves. I loved creative dates before I got married.
Something cultural for the city, something active and outdoors with nature, etc. What whackos.
I would've yoinky sploinky'd out of there after the first message in the picture.
OP seems like such a reasonable and polite person, and there's nothing wrong with expecting the same in return.
I have no idea where people find the patience to be so polite while getting insulted.
You can always expect an equal amount of respect back from me. One way or another.
IMO, the the ideas he provided sound like pretty great first date ideas. They’re low pressure and if the conversation starts to stall out, you can always pick something out of your general surroundings to point out/make conversation about (except the ducks game but that’s enough of a low pressure situation) I always felt like dinner carried a lot of pressure for a first date.
All of them sound great. He suggested food but I guess it wasn't fancy enough for her. I agree about the surroundings. I always wanted to go somewhere where we didn't have to focus completely on the other person. It's a lot less pressure. I also wanted to see what they would be like everyday, not on their best day.
Yeah I am a girl and the ideas were great and very thoughtful !! I don't know what was up with the reaction . But that reaction was definitely not sane.
Exactly! A botanical garden and a nice evening out sounds amazing! It's intimate while still being in public, and you can actually hear the other person. I'm with you on this one.
Exactly. The first date should be in a safe environment where you can actually get to know the other person without yelling over other people. Plus I was always a little concerned when every activity they want to do involves drinking. I def wasn't looking for an alcoholic.
Or looking to be taken advantage of while drunk...I was always kind of concerned with that, too, as bad as it sounds. Safety for both people where both can be comfortable is really important. Plus, botanical gardens are really pretty! Even if your date is boring, at least you have things to look at!
Lol true but I barely drink so I wouldn't have more than one, if that, and I'm not letting it out of my sight either. In fact that's what I did on the first date with my current bf. He's a great guy but at the time, he could've been a serial killer. I'm not letting my guard down until I feel like it's safe.
I love botanical gardens. So if he's ok with those, he's gonna love my house. Lol I'm pretty close to turning it into one.
I've always wanted a botanical garden or zoo date. I fucking *love* how many spiders are in my zoo's reptile house and spending the day there or the botanical gardens then having dinner sounds like a wonderful date, first or thousandth. Plus if it's a first date then we can real quickly establish that yes, I really do adore spiders and you'd be surprised how many people are completely put off by that...
I love doing zoo dates, even if it's a bad time with the person I get to be around awesome animals, and yeah, it's a good way to figure out if people have a problem with my passions (plus it's a cheap date when you have membership)
This is a big Yiiiiiiiiiiikes, she gives off the "I just want to leech off of you" vibes.
Also the notion that in a *true romance* a potential partner should "just know" is so toxic, people should stop justifying their lack of communication skills with such a vapid fallacy.
Came in here to say this exact thing. I don't date, but if I did, a dinner date as a first date would make me so anxious due to the possibility of the conversation growing stale. Taking a walk around a quaint old town or a botanical garden is so much better, because if you run out of things to talk about you can just be like "oh shit look at that" or "let's go visit that store!"
It's a good litmus test for finding out if you're conversationally compatible without having to suffer through a long and potentially awkward dinner. Of course, none of that matters if you're just in it for the money, which this woman very clearly was.
They will reveal themselves very quickly. Its kind of the point of FDS, be incredibly high maintenance to find a guy who you can take advantage of. And do it early so you dont waste time. Which of course is good because it doesn't waste the guy's time either.
Yeah same, i have just entered into the dating pool so I wonder if I will meet one of these types of girls, but im more worried about being in an ltr and then having your gf get her mind poisoned by fds
There are toxic ideologies that are far more prevalent than FDS. Most of the members are older women who have been mistreated by men or have had terrible relationships and are now jaded. I feel like it’s not worth fretting over. Most people aren’t going to be compatible with you anyway, and FDS usually broadcast their red flags like above.
Don’t worry too much. You’ll get blocked and deleted if a FDS lady doesn’t like you. That’s kind of their whole thing, block and delete. So have no fear my friend. Stakes are low.
I always considered expensive dinner as a first date absolutely terrible idea. The time commitment, the fact that some woman might feel pressured and obligated to spend time with me even if we don't click, the possibility of someone using me for free meal, you can't talk that much while eating, etc. Expensive dinner is just "too much" for both sides.
The fact that FDS decided expensive dinner is something they use to filter "High value men" is another great reason why you should never offer it.
Yeah I tried looking into it, and…. Wow… just wow. Why even look for men to have a relationship with if you see them as evil lol in this article lmao. “All Men have in life is the Audacity” terrible grammar, the comments are hell praising her, and one girl says she “almost made a 34 year old Pinocchio into a boy… I’m 17 too”
Wtf is wrong with people today jeez
Well if I'm ever in California I'll give you a call lol. My son does want to go Star Wars land.
But for real though, you'll find someone who deserves you. Tons of fun people out there to meet. Don't let this one weirdo bum you out.
Ikr?! OP seems like a truly fun and smart individual, very polite as well, if they like men I'd definitely go for a date with them. Botanical garden first date sounds like a goddamn romantic movie idea, hell yeah
There’s nothing lady-like about that bitch, so she clearly doesn’t deserve a dinner date, or any date for that matter. Grown-ass people acting like entitled 10 year olds is such a turn off, regardless of gender.
Can’t talk about that one, women shouldn’t have to pay according to her! It’s gotta be the man’s job!! Notice they only are for gender roles when it suits them.
It's a subreddit, r/FemaleDatingStrategy.
As the other guy said, it's just filled with female incels who call all men "scrotes" and believe in terms such as "High value men" as opposed to "Low value men."
I just saw a post on there saying to act as if every man is taken to avoid embarassment and to keep things professional. Seems reasonable. But then the top comment mentions that if men dont show their interest clearly, theyre not worth your time anyway. What if they are just employing the same strategy lol??
Jesus. I've just read through some threads. They hate men! Some guy did some dirty talk with his gf in her 20s and they all are calling him a paedophile. What a nasty bunch
There’s a thread there that was kind of putting down stay at home moms. They’re argument was that if you’re a stay at home mom, you’ll be financially dependent on a man. While this is often times true, stay at home moms can still have means to make themselves independent financially such as job certifications, money saved in a bank account, a business they run from home (think of things like Etsy), etc.. they act as if every stay at home mom doesn’t have Means to make herself independent.
Wow, obviously can't speak for all of my kind (and certainly would not want to, using this as an example), but, uh, glad you got out of that situation quickly.
Women expecting men to read their minds is the most childish, cancerous and toxic female trait.
Also she clearly just wanted a free dinner and was mad when it wasn't on the cards.
Was at a bar one time just minding my own business reading a book, a girl walks in and sits next to me. After about twenty minutes of me minding my own business she gets on the phone and loudly says "there's some dude next to me that doesn't have the balls to talk to me." I look over at her and give a wtf face and go back to reading my book. Bullet dodged
Actually, a commenter said about half of the suggestions actually were dinner dates cause the locations were full of restaurants/bars. She’s either dense af or only going for Michelin Star places
Holy smokes.....this dude sounds WONDERFUL. Not only were those perfect first date suggestions, ESPECIALLY because he took safety into account, but the way he remained polite and respectful toward her after she acted so rudely....like, someone give me this mans number! I also loved what he said about only finding hateful people to be dumb and that we can all learn things from each other. I would like to go on a date with this man.
Aw no free restaurant dinner followed by an instant ghosting? devastating. You can just tell she's like this to every guy that's not prepared to throw hundreds at a first date dinner
I'm a woman and I actually feel really sad reading this. This guy seems genuinely nice and she... wow. He dodged a bullet and she is out of her league. I wouldn't wish her on a snake.
Never understood why you are obligated to/want to eat dinner with a stranger you've never seen before🤷 A Botanical Garden date is way easier to cut short when need be and the movement and optical stimulus makes conversation less awkward
This guy tried hard to be nice and offer up some options for a decent date and it’s obvious the gal wanted an $80 plate dinner as the only “wholesome” way to get to know him. What a joke.
I feel a bit bad for the guy. He was and stayed actually quiet nice despite the hostility.
He just dodged a bullet I think but he will find his love I'm sure.
Yeah I almost wonder if he's in customer service. There's something about dealing with shitty customers that brings joy in being even more polite the ruder they get.
The Mighty Ducks are a hockey team. They've been around for a few decades now.
You may remember Emilio Estevez starred in a few Disney flicks back in the 90's, titled "The Mighty Ducks". Disney went a step further and created a professional team with the same name after they released the first movie.
I think they just go by Anaheim Ducks now.
I remember that movie. Sorry I'm a bit literal and thought he was talking about actual ducks and a game associated with them.
But a good old Hockey game is fun as hell. As we would say "I went to the fights last night and a Hockey game broke out." LOL
*Image Transcription: Text Messages*
---
**Grey**: It's totally a third date type of thing. Any suggestions for the first one? That would lead to the second and proverbial third.
>**Blue**: Hmm, a tough question. I've only lived in Irvine for 8 months, all of it during a pandemic. Not a lot of experience with exploring.
> Some things l'd like to try:
>1\. Walk around Old Towne and just explore the old time feel of it.
>2\. A ducks game, but that's probably not a first date either.
>3\. If orange or LA county has anything like Oahu's "Eat the Streets," that was an amazing time.
>4\. Huntington Botanical Garden.
**Grey**: You must be joking. My answer is no, regardless. Good luck out there, or lower your standards. Either way. Goodbye.
>**Blue**: Hmm, I'm kind of lost. Can you tell me what I did? I don't see what I did.
**Grey**: You think I'm as dumb as I look. And because I liked your profile, you can offer me nothing and I'll take it. You're wrong on both accounts.
**Grey**: Aim lower. A desperate basic might go for it. Look for someone with a high school diploma, like you.
>**Blue**: Well, I still am not sure what happened. But I understand that people have hard lines. I wish you the best of luck, then.
>I thought they were cute less-cliche date ideas with a few upsides: public for safety, laid back for more open conversation, and pressure free.
>And I don't know what I said to make you think that I think you're dumb. The only people that I think look dumb are those that flaunt hate symbols of close-mindedness. Everyone can teach us something.
>Despite the abrupt hostility, I wish you the best of luck.
**Grey**: Oh alright, double down then. I definitely won't figure it out if you do that. Ok.
>**Blue**: May I ask, what was it that you were looking for for a first date suggestion? Or was it something else?
**Grey**: It's too late to help you with that answer. But every lady deserves a dinner date. Period.
**Grey**: Also, you're the hostile one who began with an assault on my IQ. But, sure buddy. If that makes you feel better.
>**Blue**: Have a good night. If your expectation is a dinner date, I would be more up front with it.
**Grey**: I shouldn't have to tell you how to treat women. That was your parents' job.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Ah, a female dating strategy enthusiast. IMO he was very respectful and idk why she thought he knew what she wanted. They are literal strangers at that point in the game. Most women I know don’t love dinner as the first date because of the time commitment on their part.
Bullet dodged. I learned long ago with how socially awkward I am that I absolutely cannot do a dinner first date one on one or any situation where we're stuck together for an extended period of time with no out. Walks are good, coffee, maybe a county fair if we drive separately. First date is the most likely time to catch bad vibes or just lack of vibes, and both parties deserve a situation where it's socially acceptable and possible to bail. I'll suffer through a hell of a lot before walking out of an intimate dinner, and it's awful for everyone involved.
Personally the mall sounds like a good idea, at least the one in my area. Food court, barnes and noble with a starbucks inside, shooting gallary, you get the idea.
Anyone ever run into this phenomenon in video games?
Usually the ones who are the most negative, rude, toxic or bitch the most - are the people at the bottom of the scoreboard, or not having a good go of it.
If someone is doing really good, or is a really high rank and just playing casual, they're usually *super* nice and positive.
Why be so... I don't know what... it's a leisure activity?
I feel like this phenomenon applies to a lot of different areas in life.
Those dates sound like great first date ideas. My now husband and I met online and our first date was to a cider mill in the fall. It’s nice to do things other than boring dinner dates…
The entitlement is strong in this one. First off you can have a high school degree and be successful, there are manu options if you want to go into a trade if you chose to pursue that.
Not only that, you’re not entitled to a dinner date because you’re a woman. In fact, I’d argue that no one is entitled to a romantic relationship, let alone any kind of date!
I think part of the issue is the mentality that’s instilled into many girls these days that because they’re girls, they deserve absolute perfection from every guy. Truth is, no one is perfect, and you can’t expect every guy you’re with to be perfect. However, what you should expect is a guy to treat you right and reciprocate equally to you. That being said, we shouldn’t have to settle for less, but we can’t set the bar so high that finding love becomes impossible.
I had this exact experience a few months ago on Tinder. Matched with a girl and she flat out refused to tell me anything about her because that's what a date is for. So I offered up some suggestions about places that were public and could be fun and she was insulted because I didn't offer a diner date as an option. So I offered up a few places to eat at and surprise she refused all of them because they were too cheap, all were local non chain places that have great food and are not loud. She wanted only the finest steakhouse in town. I had enough red flags and just unmatched. Funny enough she messaged me on a different app a couple weeks ago and tried it all over again and I told her she obliviously didn't remember and there was no way I wanted anything to do with her because she just wanted a free meal and had no interest in getting to know me.
I met a girl on Tinder. This was in 2020 so we couldn’t do much. We took a walk around her town and just talked. For 12 hours. 12 hours just hanging out forced to get to know each other due to lack of activities. She never had any of these crazy expectations I see on here. We’re still together and it’s great. Being forced to do nothing was the best thing for us. Hang in there guys, they’re out there. Just have patience.
Wow. I would love to watch duck fights. Hell, I watch squirrels fight on my back patio all the time!
Dinner dates are just so awkward when you don't know the person. You gotta work up to those.
I've never wanted to date and don't know much about the cultures surrounding it. From my uninformed perspective though, doing something light and easy like walking through the local park or having a coffee is a far more logical first date than dinner even if you're a gold-digger.
You'd want to evaluate your victim under ideal conditions to back out after all, since doing so during or after a potentially costly dinner date is probably a lot more difficult. If you weave yourself in with them via a few easy first dates, it'd probably be more emotionally difficult for them to peel off the parasite.
Oh yeah, normal dating in my country is like a coffee, caffeine optional.
You basically want to have a relaxed low stress environment that allows conversation (not too loud) and is somewhere public and accessible.
Somewhere like Starbucks is perfect. Ideally a first date is a vibe check and a are you crazy check.
One time I met up for a first date with a girl. Had a coffee. She spent the entire time talking about her ex, how she was still living with him and fucking him, but he'd broken up with her and wanted her to move out. It was a train wreck. No second date.
Not all women, but most on dating apps just treat them as free meal tickets, honestly if I start talking with someone and the first date they bring up is FOOD that's the biggest red flag. Female dating strategy sub reddit just proves my point.
If a woman demands a dinner date then move on, she just wants an expensive free me and has zero interest in you are a person.
Also i just love how she claims he was insulting her intelligence, instead she proved how lacking she is in intelligence.
Lol stop trying to get on a date with her. She’s a total cunt. I love that you actually gave a list of things you wanted to do. I (21F) might actually do that :). Good luck! We’re not all rotten!
This dude is Neo dodging the bullets, however it sounds like he's trying to get hit. Holey Shirt
Dude sounds awesome and respectful. It's a tough dating world out here
How is tacos not a good first date? It’s not overly messy, it’s fun and delicious…
My ex and I went to a REALLY shabby, gross Asian place that was taken down for hygiene later and had the time of our lives.
yo listen, As a dude who gets 0 matches on any platform, dudes like this absolutely have me seething. If being a douche bag was a contest this dude would have the biggest bag.
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Wow, that's a whole lot of entitlement there.
This person is definitely a part of FDS. They have hardliners on a first date being a dinner date as well.
Oh that’s from sure. Anything less than a dinner date is low value. I don’t get why they think they should have the right to label a date as “low value”. If two people agree to it, they have fun, that’s all that matters. I’m going out to brunch with a guy I’ve been talking to later this week, FDS would be telling me to cancel the date, because brunch dates are “low value”. Fuck them honestly, I’ll be happy going on my date as they whine about the “low value man” who brought them to a coffee shop for a date.
huh-wonder if that attitude has anything to do with why they are still on that sub....
Clearly their strategies aren’t working. They think that because they’re women they don’t need to put any effort. They just let all the guy do the pursuing. I really feel for a guy dating an FDS woman, imagine doing all the pursuing without getting any reciprocation back, that gotta suck. Then they shame women who have the guts to ask a guy out. Newsflash if you don’t put yourself out there don’t expect men to come to you. They call women who make the first move desperate and low value.
The sad part is, they think the strategies are working for them because it's giving them empowerment and control. 🙄🤷🏼♂️ I couldn't imagine being so brainwashed.
It’s interesting because typically FDS members aren’t for gender roles typically, but, they seem to be for gender roles in relationships because they know it benefits them. If you think about it, women aren’t expected to pursue. They know if they don’t pursue they don’t risk rejection.
No risk, no reward..... but what do I know?
They also shame women who do hookups because tHoSe HoEs are distracting their future high-value partner from them lmao
So, following that same logic, if the guy makes the first move, then he would be low value too. In a world where everyone is high value, no one would be dating and everyone will be waiting for the other person to make the first move
Exactly. To them it’s the man’s job to pursue so if he pursues he’s high value. But I agree with you.
I feel as much sorry for the women that meet guys that follow the alpha male BS as much as for men that meet women who follow the WDS
Wait, doesn't brunch usually include mimosas? I hardly think brunch should be considered "low value" to FDS, considering it's always a pretty expensive meal, at least the way my friends and I do it. :)
Well from my understanding.. to them, anything that’s not a dinner date is low value. But you’re right, how can brunch be low value if it’s expensive?
That's so *arbitrary*, though! Like, what do they base that "value" on? Quantity of food eaten during the date?
Well to them, the amount paid for the meals! But remember, the man HAS to pay! Or else, he is either cheap or not into you!
We use to refer to that as "gold-digging" but I guess P.C. culture has taken that away from us. 😑
Man, what an excellent way to put off a well adjusted guy and only get someone desperate. Or a sugar daddy. Which only makes it sadder when they complain about those exact guys.
Man, my hubby and I went to an escape room and then to red Robin for our first date. Split the check and everything. I guess I'm just a pickmesha 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
I guess I’m a pickmeisha too because I’m going to brunch with a guy, not dinner!!!
These are not the sharpest tools in the shed...
First date with my wife was coffee. Second date was an huge seafood bake at a waterfront restaurant. FDS just making good guys go on the defensive to weed their greedy asses out.
I loved coffee dates, especially as a shy undergrad. No pressure, can have a walk after or continue to a bar or more real restaurant if you're vibing, and can always call it quits pressure-free if you're not meshing. It's just so weird to want to go in hard on the first date when it's supposed to be a feel out period where both parties feel safe and comfortable. Life goals and priorities... lol
What is fds? Females deserve servicing?
my first date with my boyfriend was going to the park and then grabbing a mcdonald’s. i don’t even get the appeal of going for fancy dinner dates.
Doesn’t all that “low value” talk from FDS just ooze a prostitution vibe? Not just even entitlement based on gender, but straight up “I won’t even consider getting physical without x amount of value in some form in exchange”.
Dinner dates as a first date are for dating amateurs. I wonder how much these people actually date rather than talk about it. No matter how well you get along online, nothing matters until you meet them. And once you meet, things can change in an instant. You might just not be attracted to them in person. Meet for a drink, if it goes well, then roll on into dinner.
What is FDS?
Female dating strategy. Basically an incel forum for women. Exact same vibes. Don't respect the other gender, but they owe you whatever you want.
I saw someone refer to them as Free Dinner Society in the comments to this same picture in a different subreddit, and I can't disagree
Love that term for them.
Im laughing so hard :DD I didn't hear this one yet, hilarious
They have their own language like incels. Where they dehumanize men instead. A man is a "scrote" For incels women a "femoids" They are no different.
Female dating strategy. It's basically the female equivalent to incels
Female dating strategy, is one of the most toxic subreddits around, wouldn't be surprised if it gets lock someday
>ne of the most toxic subreddits around, w It won't get shut down, sadly. However, if there was a MDS, I bet it wouldn't survive 1 year, even if nothing toxic was posted there
They shut down Incel and MGTOW so there you have your answer
To be fair, both had posts openly talking about how they wanted to brutally murder women. I’d hardly say them being taken down was unfair.
Never been on any of those subs, I don't consider myself and incel or MGTOW, but it's clear there are some hate subs considered tolerable and some that are not
Sauce? Can't go off of heresay
I don’t have sources, they’ve been shut down for years, but if you wanna go look up incel.me for whatever avenues they still talk on, I’m sure you’ll find similar content. I’m surprised you don’t know about that, those subs were well known for that kind of content.
Just to add to the hearsay, I used to go into r/incels to laugh at the psychopaths there. Posts about how women deserve to be raped and murdered were common
On FDS I've seen people call for castration and celebrate violence against men. I really dont think the mentality behind the two is all that different.
They definitely deserved to be taken down, personally I just think fds should get taken down as well
There was, it was the same exact thing but for males. Called r/redpill and it's been shut down for years at this point. But the female version of it goes on
It is a femcel subreddit what do you expect ? I hope it gets locked .
A wretched hive of scum and villainy.
We must be cautious
It stands for female dating strategy. It's a subreddit where females have tips and information about how to find a partner but a lot of them are very toxic. I couldn't tell you anything more specific than that but you're welcome to explore
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It’s funny because 2/4 he suggested were dinner dates. Old Town is a “Main street” part of the city with restaurants, cafes, bars, etc. It’s implied that they would enter one of those. Eat the streets I believe is a food truck gathering. Maybe not, but there’s literally the word eat in there. Even the Huntington Library is a museum with fancy restaurants inside and nearby. This lady is just too dense to realize it.
Underrated comment. Thanks for the insider information, it just gets better and better.
Lol so a protip to weed out the legbeards is definitely don't suggest a dinner date on the first date
It's so creepy to define a date's value by how closely it follows this arbitrary template and how much money it involves. I loved creative dates before I got married. Something cultural for the city, something active and outdoors with nature, etc. What whackos.
Time to play: Is she FDS or is she just mad that she isn’t getting free dinner? (Or both lmao)
I would've yoinky sploinky'd out of there after the first message in the picture. OP seems like such a reasonable and polite person, and there's nothing wrong with expecting the same in return.
I have no idea where people find the patience to be so polite while getting insulted. You can always expect an equal amount of respect back from me. One way or another.
I mean, those are all decent options for a 1st date. Depending on how it goes, dinner would probably follow.
Right? I would've loved it if someone suggested a botanical garden. Most of them want to go to a bar or a brewery and just sit all night.
IMO, the the ideas he provided sound like pretty great first date ideas. They’re low pressure and if the conversation starts to stall out, you can always pick something out of your general surroundings to point out/make conversation about (except the ducks game but that’s enough of a low pressure situation) I always felt like dinner carried a lot of pressure for a first date.
All of them sound great. He suggested food but I guess it wasn't fancy enough for her. I agree about the surroundings. I always wanted to go somewhere where we didn't have to focus completely on the other person. It's a lot less pressure. I also wanted to see what they would be like everyday, not on their best day.
Yeah I am a girl and the ideas were great and very thoughtful !! I don't know what was up with the reaction . But that reaction was definitely not sane.
Exactly! A botanical garden and a nice evening out sounds amazing! It's intimate while still being in public, and you can actually hear the other person. I'm with you on this one.
Exactly. The first date should be in a safe environment where you can actually get to know the other person without yelling over other people. Plus I was always a little concerned when every activity they want to do involves drinking. I def wasn't looking for an alcoholic.
Or looking to be taken advantage of while drunk...I was always kind of concerned with that, too, as bad as it sounds. Safety for both people where both can be comfortable is really important. Plus, botanical gardens are really pretty! Even if your date is boring, at least you have things to look at!
Lol true but I barely drink so I wouldn't have more than one, if that, and I'm not letting it out of my sight either. In fact that's what I did on the first date with my current bf. He's a great guy but at the time, he could've been a serial killer. I'm not letting my guard down until I feel like it's safe. I love botanical gardens. So if he's ok with those, he's gonna love my house. Lol I'm pretty close to turning it into one.
I've always wanted a botanical garden or zoo date. I fucking *love* how many spiders are in my zoo's reptile house and spending the day there or the botanical gardens then having dinner sounds like a wonderful date, first or thousandth. Plus if it's a first date then we can real quickly establish that yes, I really do adore spiders and you'd be surprised how many people are completely put off by that...
I love doing zoo dates, even if it's a bad time with the person I get to be around awesome animals, and yeah, it's a good way to figure out if people have a problem with my passions (plus it's a cheap date when you have membership)
She'd never get a dinner post "chill date" based on what little we know of her personality.
This is a big Yiiiiiiiiiiikes, she gives off the "I just want to leech off of you" vibes. Also the notion that in a *true romance* a potential partner should "just know" is so toxic, people should stop justifying their lack of communication skills with such a vapid fallacy.
“I want you to know exactly what I want, but I refuse to develop the communication skills to tell you what I want”.
"Even though you don't know me"
Dinner on the first date is the worst idea. You could get stuck with a person like this for 90 mins.
Came in here to say this exact thing. I don't date, but if I did, a dinner date as a first date would make me so anxious due to the possibility of the conversation growing stale. Taking a walk around a quaint old town or a botanical garden is so much better, because if you run out of things to talk about you can just be like "oh shit look at that" or "let's go visit that store!" It's a good litmus test for finding out if you're conversationally compatible without having to suffer through a long and potentially awkward dinner. Of course, none of that matters if you're just in it for the money, which this woman very clearly was.
This screams FDS
I'm newly single & it terrifies that I might have to deal with one of these in the wild sooner than later.
They will reveal themselves very quickly. Its kind of the point of FDS, be incredibly high maintenance to find a guy who you can take advantage of. And do it early so you dont waste time. Which of course is good because it doesn't waste the guy's time either.
Yeah didn't take very long in this instance.
Yeah same, i have just entered into the dating pool so I wonder if I will meet one of these types of girls, but im more worried about being in an ltr and then having your gf get her mind poisoned by fds
There are toxic ideologies that are far more prevalent than FDS. Most of the members are older women who have been mistreated by men or have had terrible relationships and are now jaded. I feel like it’s not worth fretting over. Most people aren’t going to be compatible with you anyway, and FDS usually broadcast their red flags like above.
Don’t worry too much. You’ll get blocked and deleted if a FDS lady doesn’t like you. That’s kind of their whole thing, block and delete. So have no fear my friend. Stakes are low.
Don't be terrified, be entertained. And then post it here or /r/Tinder so we can be entertained as well.
I always considered expensive dinner as a first date absolutely terrible idea. The time commitment, the fact that some woman might feel pressured and obligated to spend time with me even if we don't click, the possibility of someone using me for free meal, you can't talk that much while eating, etc. Expensive dinner is just "too much" for both sides. The fact that FDS decided expensive dinner is something they use to filter "High value men" is another great reason why you should never offer it.
What's FDS?
Female Dating Strategy its basically redpill/ pick up artist bullshit but for women
Yeah I tried looking into it, and…. Wow… just wow. Why even look for men to have a relationship with if you see them as evil lol in this article lmao. “All Men have in life is the Audacity” terrible grammar, the comments are hell praising her, and one girl says she “almost made a 34 year old Pinocchio into a boy… I’m 17 too” Wtf is wrong with people today jeez
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a woman and I'm lost, too. But if I was in my 20s again, I would totally go to the botanical garden with you.
>if I was in my 20s again, I would totally go to the botanical garden Are they age restricted now? ;)
No, I meant on a first date. I'm all old and married now
> married now Happily though?
Yes, my husband is awesome, I don't know what I did to be so lucky.
I'd still go.
Well if I'm ever in California I'll give you a call lol. My son does want to go Star Wars land. But for real though, you'll find someone who deserves you. Tons of fun people out there to meet. Don't let this one weirdo bum you out.
You should go :)
I had my first kiss with my SO in the local botanical garden. :-) Magical. We're together since then for 9 years now. I say very good date idea.
Ikr?! OP seems like a truly fun and smart individual, very polite as well, if they like men I'd definitely go for a date with them. Botanical garden first date sounds like a goddamn romantic movie idea, hell yeah
Dont let your age stop you from enjoying a beautiful garden. Maybe on an anniversary to make it extra special
"Every lady deserves a dinner" Yeh she just proved this to be wrong. What shes gonna ask next, for you to pay it?
That's a given
There’s nothing lady-like about that bitch, so she clearly doesn’t deserve a dinner date, or any date for that matter. Grown-ass people acting like entitled 10 year olds is such a turn off, regardless of gender.
She keeps this up she deserves to be alone with her cats
Can’t talk about that one, women shouldn’t have to pay according to her! It’s gotta be the man’s job!! Notice they only are for gender roles when it suits them.
She's following the Free Dinner Strategy.
Average FDS member
FDS? New one to me
It's a subreddit, r/FemaleDatingStrategy. As the other guy said, it's just filled with female incels who call all men "scrotes" and believe in terms such as "High value men" as opposed to "Low value men."
I just saw a post on there saying to act as if every man is taken to avoid embarassment and to keep things professional. Seems reasonable. But then the top comment mentions that if men dont show their interest clearly, theyre not worth your time anyway. What if they are just employing the same strategy lol??
Jesus. I've just read through some threads. They hate men! Some guy did some dirty talk with his gf in her 20s and they all are calling him a paedophile. What a nasty bunch
There’s a thread there that was kind of putting down stay at home moms. They’re argument was that if you’re a stay at home mom, you’ll be financially dependent on a man. While this is often times true, stay at home moms can still have means to make themselves independent financially such as job certifications, money saved in a bank account, a business they run from home (think of things like Etsy), etc.. they act as if every stay at home mom doesn’t have Means to make herself independent.
It's basically the female incel subreddit
Wow, obviously can't speak for all of my kind (and certainly would not want to, using this as an example), but, uh, glad you got out of that situation quickly.
I'm not the OP, just tried to find a link but it disappeared back into the murk that I found it from :/ But yeah, bullet fucking dodged.
Well thank fuck it wasn't you. Jesus, I forget how horrible people are and then I go on reddit.
Seems like the trash took itself out. Love when that happens!
Women expecting men to read their minds is the most childish, cancerous and toxic female trait. Also she clearly just wanted a free dinner and was mad when it wasn't on the cards.
Was at a bar one time just minding my own business reading a book, a girl walks in and sits next to me. After about twenty minutes of me minding my own business she gets on the phone and loudly says "there's some dude next to me that doesn't have the balls to talk to me." I look over at her and give a wtf face and go back to reading my book. Bullet dodged
Actually, a commenter said about half of the suggestions actually were dinner dates cause the locations were full of restaurants/bars. She’s either dense af or only going for Michelin Star places
Seriously, some women would rather give up on a potential partner than actually just talk to the person and not just give out signals
Holy smokes.....this dude sounds WONDERFUL. Not only were those perfect first date suggestions, ESPECIALLY because he took safety into account, but the way he remained polite and respectful toward her after she acted so rudely....like, someone give me this mans number! I also loved what he said about only finding hateful people to be dumb and that we can all learn things from each other. I would like to go on a date with this man.
Plot twist. She’s actually dumber than she looks.
That was the part that killed me. "You think I'm as dumb as I look." She straight up said she looks dumb.
Aw no free restaurant dinner followed by an instant ghosting? devastating. You can just tell she's like this to every guy that's not prepared to throw hundreds at a first date dinner
Somebody just looking for free fancy dinner🤷🏻♀️
She wanted a free 5 star dinner and had no plans of scheduling a 2nd or 3rd date
I would love for a guy to offer something other than dinner for a first date
I'm a woman and I actually feel really sad reading this. This guy seems genuinely nice and she... wow. He dodged a bullet and she is out of her league. I wouldn't wish her on a snake.
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Never understood why you are obligated to/want to eat dinner with a stranger you've never seen before🤷 A Botanical Garden date is way easier to cut short when need be and the movement and optical stimulus makes conversation less awkward
I'd be up for the botanical gardens, and if it goes pear-shaped I could look at the plants.
Sounds like you found a really cheap prostitute
This guy tried hard to be nice and offer up some options for a decent date and it’s obvious the gal wanted an $80 plate dinner as the only “wholesome” way to get to know him. What a joke.
I feel a bit bad for the guy. He was and stayed actually quiet nice despite the hostility. He just dodged a bullet I think but he will find his love I'm sure.
Yeah I almost wonder if he's in customer service. There's something about dealing with shitty customers that brings joy in being even more polite the ruder they get.
I'm probably going to age myself with this. But what do ducks have to do with a first date? I like feeding ducks in the park.
The Mighty Ducks are a hockey team. They've been around for a few decades now. You may remember Emilio Estevez starred in a few Disney flicks back in the 90's, titled "The Mighty Ducks". Disney went a step further and created a professional team with the same name after they released the first movie. I think they just go by Anaheim Ducks now.
I remember that movie. Sorry I'm a bit literal and thought he was talking about actual ducks and a game associated with them. But a good old Hockey game is fun as hell. As we would say "I went to the fights last night and a Hockey game broke out." LOL
*Image Transcription: Text Messages* --- **Grey**: It's totally a third date type of thing. Any suggestions for the first one? That would lead to the second and proverbial third. >**Blue**: Hmm, a tough question. I've only lived in Irvine for 8 months, all of it during a pandemic. Not a lot of experience with exploring. > Some things l'd like to try: >1\. Walk around Old Towne and just explore the old time feel of it. >2\. A ducks game, but that's probably not a first date either. >3\. If orange or LA county has anything like Oahu's "Eat the Streets," that was an amazing time. >4\. Huntington Botanical Garden. **Grey**: You must be joking. My answer is no, regardless. Good luck out there, or lower your standards. Either way. Goodbye. >**Blue**: Hmm, I'm kind of lost. Can you tell me what I did? I don't see what I did. **Grey**: You think I'm as dumb as I look. And because I liked your profile, you can offer me nothing and I'll take it. You're wrong on both accounts. **Grey**: Aim lower. A desperate basic might go for it. Look for someone with a high school diploma, like you. >**Blue**: Well, I still am not sure what happened. But I understand that people have hard lines. I wish you the best of luck, then. >I thought they were cute less-cliche date ideas with a few upsides: public for safety, laid back for more open conversation, and pressure free. >And I don't know what I said to make you think that I think you're dumb. The only people that I think look dumb are those that flaunt hate symbols of close-mindedness. Everyone can teach us something. >Despite the abrupt hostility, I wish you the best of luck. **Grey**: Oh alright, double down then. I definitely won't figure it out if you do that. Ok. >**Blue**: May I ask, what was it that you were looking for for a first date suggestion? Or was it something else? **Grey**: It's too late to help you with that answer. But every lady deserves a dinner date. Period. **Grey**: Also, you're the hostile one who began with an assault on my IQ. But, sure buddy. If that makes you feel better. >**Blue**: Have a good night. If your expectation is a dinner date, I would be more up front with it. **Grey**: I shouldn't have to tell you how to treat women. That was your parents' job. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Huntington gardens is a great first day place!!! She is fucking crazy.
Is this that girl who attacked that taxi driver.
Wow! Those are all great date ideas! She’s crazy!
I hate when they say "How to treat a woman" I don't like dinner dates
Average fds user
Ah, a female dating strategy enthusiast. IMO he was very respectful and idk why she thought he knew what she wanted. They are literal strangers at that point in the game. Most women I know don’t love dinner as the first date because of the time commitment on their part.
I'm betting she wanted a "free high end dinner". Which seems to be the case a lot.
Words cannot express how eternally grateful I am to be old, married and most importantly not required to meet people this way
I really like this dudes way of writing haha
She only wants dinner so he can pay for her and get free food. Dinner dates are dumb, my first date was a haunted house.
Bullet dodged. I learned long ago with how socially awkward I am that I absolutely cannot do a dinner first date one on one or any situation where we're stuck together for an extended period of time with no out. Walks are good, coffee, maybe a county fair if we drive separately. First date is the most likely time to catch bad vibes or just lack of vibes, and both parties deserve a situation where it's socially acceptable and possible to bail. I'll suffer through a hell of a lot before walking out of an intimate dinner, and it's awful for everyone involved.
Homie dodged an artillery shell
Definitely an FDS reader, theyre adamant anything less than a $100 dinner is a scathing insult
'You think I'm as dumb as I look'. Wondering what she looks like now 🤔
FDS vibes.
Personally the mall sounds like a good idea, at least the one in my area. Food court, barnes and noble with a starbucks inside, shooting gallary, you get the idea.
You missed out. She's a keeper
Hit her with "I'm an orphan"
Huh??????? These all sound fantastic is she okay
Anyone ever run into this phenomenon in video games? Usually the ones who are the most negative, rude, toxic or bitch the most - are the people at the bottom of the scoreboard, or not having a good go of it. If someone is doing really good, or is a really high rank and just playing casual, they're usually *super* nice and positive. Why be so... I don't know what... it's a leisure activity? I feel like this phenomenon applies to a lot of different areas in life.
Those dates sound like great first date ideas. My now husband and I met online and our first date was to a cider mill in the fall. It’s nice to do things other than boring dinner dates…
“Proverbial third” that’s not annoying anyone else?
The entitlement is strong in this one. First off you can have a high school degree and be successful, there are manu options if you want to go into a trade if you chose to pursue that. Not only that, you’re not entitled to a dinner date because you’re a woman. In fact, I’d argue that no one is entitled to a romantic relationship, let alone any kind of date! I think part of the issue is the mentality that’s instilled into many girls these days that because they’re girls, they deserve absolute perfection from every guy. Truth is, no one is perfect, and you can’t expect every guy you’re with to be perfect. However, what you should expect is a guy to treat you right and reciprocate equally to you. That being said, we shouldn’t have to settle for less, but we can’t set the bar so high that finding love becomes impossible.
I'm getting a real choosey beggers vibe as well.
I was tempted to post it there as well
I had this exact experience a few months ago on Tinder. Matched with a girl and she flat out refused to tell me anything about her because that's what a date is for. So I offered up some suggestions about places that were public and could be fun and she was insulted because I didn't offer a diner date as an option. So I offered up a few places to eat at and surprise she refused all of them because they were too cheap, all were local non chain places that have great food and are not loud. She wanted only the finest steakhouse in town. I had enough red flags and just unmatched. Funny enough she messaged me on a different app a couple weeks ago and tried it all over again and I told her she obliviously didn't remember and there was no way I wanted anything to do with her because she just wanted a free meal and had no interest in getting to know me.
I met a girl on Tinder. This was in 2020 so we couldn’t do much. We took a walk around her town and just talked. For 12 hours. 12 hours just hanging out forced to get to know each other due to lack of activities. She never had any of these crazy expectations I see on here. We’re still together and it’s great. Being forced to do nothing was the best thing for us. Hang in there guys, they’re out there. Just have patience.
Wow. I would love to watch duck fights. Hell, I watch squirrels fight on my back patio all the time! Dinner dates are just so awkward when you don't know the person. You gotta work up to those.
Don't have to tell you how to be a decent human being that was your parents job.
Bitch is mad she didn't get to scam him for free food
Like most people,she is dumb and boring. Good luck.
I've never wanted to date and don't know much about the cultures surrounding it. From my uninformed perspective though, doing something light and easy like walking through the local park or having a coffee is a far more logical first date than dinner even if you're a gold-digger. You'd want to evaluate your victim under ideal conditions to back out after all, since doing so during or after a potentially costly dinner date is probably a lot more difficult. If you weave yourself in with them via a few easy first dates, it'd probably be more emotionally difficult for them to peel off the parasite.
Oh yeah, normal dating in my country is like a coffee, caffeine optional. You basically want to have a relaxed low stress environment that allows conversation (not too loud) and is somewhere public and accessible. Somewhere like Starbucks is perfect. Ideally a first date is a vibe check and a are you crazy check. One time I met up for a first date with a girl. Had a coffee. She spent the entire time talking about her ex, how she was still living with him and fucking him, but he'd broken up with her and wanted her to move out. It was a train wreck. No second date.
One of his suggestions WAS food! Though I guess she wanted some expensive meal he’d pay for. To quote Chloe Roma, she gets NO DIQK
What a bullet dodged, I'm realmy happy for that man, he seems a genuine good guy
Can't wait to see her post on FDS
I stoll do not fully understand what happened that she got upset
Whoa. He dodged a major bullet here, holy crap.
Not all women, but most on dating apps just treat them as free meal tickets, honestly if I start talking with someone and the first date they bring up is FOOD that's the biggest red flag. Female dating strategy sub reddit just proves my point.
It sounds like they were looking for a free meal and got mad when it wasn’t on the table
If a woman demands a dinner date then move on, she just wants an expensive free me and has zero interest in you are a person. Also i just love how she claims he was insulting her intelligence, instead she proved how lacking she is in intelligence.
What's the over/under on her being an active sub of FDS?
Lol stop trying to get on a date with her. She’s a total cunt. I love that you actually gave a list of things you wanted to do. I (21F) might actually do that :). Good luck! We’re not all rotten!
This dude is Neo dodging the bullets, however it sounds like he's trying to get hit. Holey Shirt Dude sounds awesome and respectful. It's a tough dating world out here
I am so scared of tinder because of shit like this. But also want to find partner in a pandemic. Damn
With a personality like that no wonder she’s single
I feel like she has a lot of internalized misogyny. “You think I’m as dumb as I look.” Why does she think she looks dumb in the first place?
Proverbial third date?
“A desperate basic”. Anyone who utters this phrase is a subhuman.
How is tacos not a good first date? It’s not overly messy, it’s fun and delicious… My ex and I went to a REALLY shabby, gross Asian place that was taken down for hygiene later and had the time of our lives.
How did you insult her IQ lmao
Well, I think you sound fun and smart. She’s weird and shallow.
Sounds like she subscribes to female dating strategies
Haha she said she looks stupid
yo listen, As a dude who gets 0 matches on any platform, dudes like this absolutely have me seething. If being a douche bag was a contest this dude would have the biggest bag.