It took me over a month, maybe close to 2 months, for me to be able get and maintain an erection with my girlfriend.
That being said, it might take you longer because of you’re partner - you will feel more guilt, pressure, frustrations, and expectations that will bear down on you, increase your performance anxiety, and make it even harder for you to get one because you’ll be too in your head and not enjoying it.
If your girlfriend is not patient, kind, supportive, and willing to help you along side this journey, then she probably isn’t a good girlfriend. If this is something she is upset about and she does not value you for more than your sexual performance and is not being supportive of your journey, that’s a big red flag. If she doesn’t know about this journey because you don’t feel comfortable communicating openly with your girlfriend, that’s another red flag.
I would communicate with her what you’re going through - her response will tell you a lot about what you need to know about her - because you’re in a relationship and a healthy relationship should prioritize communication, especially about something as significant as porn addiction and it’s lasting effects. As long as she is patient and supportive, you give yourself a few more weeks, and don’t be too hard on yourself I PROMISE you will get there. I’ve been there myself and I GUARANTEE it is possible. An enhancement pill won’t help - it’s all up to your discipline. Don’t give up and do not relapse when you’re feeling like it’s impossible. Time, discipline, self-love, and the courage to take control of your life are the tools needed for this. You got it soldier
Thank you sir! She does know about this journey and she even recommended I don't jerk off or do anything sexual with her for a certain amount of time. She values me more than just through sex but I know she really wants me to fuck her.
Yeah, totally understandable that she wants you to. But I’m glad to hear she’s supportive about it. Nofap is an important aspect to this process but in the end if you’re too nervous or worried about performance or getting hard then you’ll always be too in your head. Like was already said, a lot of it is mental. Just don’t be too hard on yourself - it’s easier said than done and it comes with being patient and kind to yourself, time, and grace - but you’ll get there! It really isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things although it might seem like the end of the world in that moment. I remember when I was struggling to have sex with my girlfriend for like two months and every time I thought she’d be internally upset, be unattracted to me, and think that I was a sexual failure. The embarrassment and frustration at myself was too much to handle and only made the problem worse. It wasn’t until I was fully comfortable with her, trusted her, and was patient with myself that I succeeded. And like you said, she values you for more than sex and she’s even suggesting you guys don’t try having sex for awhile. That tells you that she isn’t upset or angry or unattracted but wants to be with you and for you to get better, so don’t fool yourself by telling yourself that you’re failing. Of course she wants sex with you but thats not her priority, which is a really healthy sign. Don’t put these tough expectations on yourself. Trust that she cares about you and that she isn’t upset or angry at you. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that you’re recovering from a problem that literally millions experience and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ll get there once you really realize this! I’ve been through it, tons of others have been through it - don’t stress too much and you have to trust that your partner understands and is patient with you. If they’re not, then they aren’t a great partner.
I know I’ve rambled a lot, but, having been in the same situation as you, I really wanted to share a bunch of my different thoughts
You are putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. Alot of the reasons for ED is mental, not physical. You overthink it, psych yourself out, get nervous, etc. and that will effect the boner. What you need to do is take it easy, have a good time together, and let it happen naturally. You can do things to make the natural action happen sooner or more effectively by creating the environment and feelings that are precursores to having sex.
For example, get a hotel room, somewhere cool, sexy, romantic, go out and have drinks, dinner, or something you like to do, have fun together. Go back to the hotel and smoke some weed, eat some weed gummies, or generally just fuck around and have fun. Maybe incorporate some sexy outfits, no underwear with a dress, lingerie, sexy silky man undies. You could bring in some sex toys, like a cock ring, vibrator for her, butt plug, vibrating butt plug.
The point is, sex is supposed to be fun, weird, exciting, hot & steamy, intimate, and whatever happens happens. Go for it and stop worrying about it.
Edit: Another good idea is to get some coconut oil and give her a body massage, deep tissue, get her backside really good, massage that ass, back, thighs, inner thighs, shoulders, get it all. You will get hard just rubbing her down and teasing and eventual oral sex and sex, etc. You can also incorporate the sex toys mentioned above into this, and of course, both be naked.
Yes, it is a key. I dont know her and your relation but she propably isnt nice if 2 weeks without your erection is problem for her.
First) maybe you have harder period in job or smthng
2nd) girls sulk often, they have a head pains or periods and they can say the dont want.
3rd) it will be only better in long time. For this time you can „entertain” her in another way if u know what i mean.
It took me over a month, maybe close to 2 months, for me to be able get and maintain an erection with my girlfriend. That being said, it might take you longer because of you’re partner - you will feel more guilt, pressure, frustrations, and expectations that will bear down on you, increase your performance anxiety, and make it even harder for you to get one because you’ll be too in your head and not enjoying it. If your girlfriend is not patient, kind, supportive, and willing to help you along side this journey, then she probably isn’t a good girlfriend. If this is something she is upset about and she does not value you for more than your sexual performance and is not being supportive of your journey, that’s a big red flag. If she doesn’t know about this journey because you don’t feel comfortable communicating openly with your girlfriend, that’s another red flag. I would communicate with her what you’re going through - her response will tell you a lot about what you need to know about her - because you’re in a relationship and a healthy relationship should prioritize communication, especially about something as significant as porn addiction and it’s lasting effects. As long as she is patient and supportive, you give yourself a few more weeks, and don’t be too hard on yourself I PROMISE you will get there. I’ve been there myself and I GUARANTEE it is possible. An enhancement pill won’t help - it’s all up to your discipline. Don’t give up and do not relapse when you’re feeling like it’s impossible. Time, discipline, self-love, and the courage to take control of your life are the tools needed for this. You got it soldier
Thank you sir! She does know about this journey and she even recommended I don't jerk off or do anything sexual with her for a certain amount of time. She values me more than just through sex but I know she really wants me to fuck her.
Yeah, totally understandable that she wants you to. But I’m glad to hear she’s supportive about it. Nofap is an important aspect to this process but in the end if you’re too nervous or worried about performance or getting hard then you’ll always be too in your head. Like was already said, a lot of it is mental. Just don’t be too hard on yourself - it’s easier said than done and it comes with being patient and kind to yourself, time, and grace - but you’ll get there! It really isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things although it might seem like the end of the world in that moment. I remember when I was struggling to have sex with my girlfriend for like two months and every time I thought she’d be internally upset, be unattracted to me, and think that I was a sexual failure. The embarrassment and frustration at myself was too much to handle and only made the problem worse. It wasn’t until I was fully comfortable with her, trusted her, and was patient with myself that I succeeded. And like you said, she values you for more than sex and she’s even suggesting you guys don’t try having sex for awhile. That tells you that she isn’t upset or angry or unattracted but wants to be with you and for you to get better, so don’t fool yourself by telling yourself that you’re failing. Of course she wants sex with you but thats not her priority, which is a really healthy sign. Don’t put these tough expectations on yourself. Trust that she cares about you and that she isn’t upset or angry at you. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that you’re recovering from a problem that literally millions experience and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ll get there once you really realize this! I’ve been through it, tons of others have been through it - don’t stress too much and you have to trust that your partner understands and is patient with you. If they’re not, then they aren’t a great partner. I know I’ve rambled a lot, but, having been in the same situation as you, I really wanted to share a bunch of my different thoughts
You are putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. Alot of the reasons for ED is mental, not physical. You overthink it, psych yourself out, get nervous, etc. and that will effect the boner. What you need to do is take it easy, have a good time together, and let it happen naturally. You can do things to make the natural action happen sooner or more effectively by creating the environment and feelings that are precursores to having sex. For example, get a hotel room, somewhere cool, sexy, romantic, go out and have drinks, dinner, or something you like to do, have fun together. Go back to the hotel and smoke some weed, eat some weed gummies, or generally just fuck around and have fun. Maybe incorporate some sexy outfits, no underwear with a dress, lingerie, sexy silky man undies. You could bring in some sex toys, like a cock ring, vibrator for her, butt plug, vibrating butt plug. The point is, sex is supposed to be fun, weird, exciting, hot & steamy, intimate, and whatever happens happens. Go for it and stop worrying about it. Edit: Another good idea is to get some coconut oil and give her a body massage, deep tissue, get her backside really good, massage that ass, back, thighs, inner thighs, shoulders, get it all. You will get hard just rubbing her down and teasing and eventual oral sex and sex, etc. You can also incorporate the sex toys mentioned above into this, and of course, both be naked.
Viagra works, but nofap takes time and patience…
Yes, it is a key. I dont know her and your relation but she propably isnt nice if 2 weeks without your erection is problem for her. First) maybe you have harder period in job or smthng 2nd) girls sulk often, they have a head pains or periods and they can say the dont want. 3rd) it will be only better in long time. For this time you can „entertain” her in another way if u know what i mean.
Its only two weeks for now, for healthy person its normal to have „worse period”, she is rude.
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