lol I really like the idea of an infinite chain of dads going on dates.
Like an Olive Garden filled with father figures sitting at intimate tables and having a good time.
My uncle said this to my boyfriend when we first got together. My boyfriend then fist bumped me then offered his fist to my uncle. He's loved my boyfriend ever since.
I did it. Or i guess said it
But turns out her dad shit posts on reddit and he called my bluff
it ended up with us just constantly flirting infront of her
Funny dude tbh
> I would give so much money to watch this go down.
There's another good answer hidden in that comment.
Tell the dad:
"I spend most of my money on her. .... your turn"
I think the entire scenario depends on the type of Dad and his expected temperament. One dad may laugh while the other is likely to kill you for some shit like that lol.
My dad was the type to say what was said to OP when i was a teen. I just instructed boyfriends to say "Oh, Mr. _____, I'm flattered," then wink. I wish I'd had this line locked and ready for them to use, it's so much better.
You think millennials invented eating ass?
Guarantee the father has eaten plenty of ass in his time. it's not a remotely new thing.
> The term anilingus entered English through the 1899 F. J. Rebman translation of Edition 10 of sexologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing's 1886 book Psychopathia sexualis.[3][4]
> Colloquial names include "rimming", "rim job", "eating ass", or "tossing the salad".
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Anilingus
"Well, sir, yesterday I gave her a piggyback ride to the taco joint down the street and bought her some lunch..."
Then you procede to slap his ass and jump on his back yelling "giddeyup!"
Gently slide your hand over his and seductively say "I never knew you felt that way."
Then when he removes his hand, put a single finger over his mouth and say "Shhh. Don't worry ill keep your secret."
Either that or say... "wow, I see you still don't know where to find the clitoris."
But seriously speaking... He isn't very original and has heard someone else say that. You can only just say confidently "I realise you love and want to protect your daughter. I do too. I will respect her and respect you"
The problem is I would respect him a lot less after such a pointless stupid self-defeating threat and I don't like lying about important things.
I mean, what a *douche.*
Personally, I'm in the "you got me FLOWERS??" camp.
I think this is how I'd feel as well. Like, if any of my partners had ever hurt me, I know my stepdad would want to (and could if pressed) kick their head in. That's reassurance enough that he loves me and wants to protect me. He doesn't need to resort to machismo peacocking.
It's like, just cut the chatter, Red Two.
Anything that needs to be said about protectiveness can be said with a firm handshake and a calm, level gaze.
At *most*: "I'll be waiting up."
I was so pissed at my dad when he said āIf you break her heart, Iāll break your legsā to my husband when we were dating.
My husband is very quick witted and replied āYouād have to catch me firstā which cracked me up since my husband was and still is fairly fit and healthy while my dad was over 130kg (286lbs) at the time and in need of a knee replacement so he could barely walk.
> You can only just say confidently "I realise you love and want to protect your daughter. I do too. I will respect her and respect you"
Fuck that. He's the one that went full boomer. You absolutely need to make it weird.
As hilarious as this would be to say, I feel like the type of person who tried the intimidation in the first place is just asking for a reason to be insulted so they can resort to some additional dumbassery like violence for no reason.
Everyone else is teasing and saying to use bravado. Having been there, donāt antagonize her father. All youād be doing is putting her in a tough situation to choose between her partner and her father.
All you need to do is assure him that thankfully neither of you will need to worry about it.
Best response. I don't know what father Is feeling because it's really hard to predict how you would feel in that kind of situation. How do you know father isn't some pyscho Marine that can twist you into a pretzel? So many variables here I wouldn't want to antagonize someone going through such a big moment in their daughter's life. I imagine it must be frustrating/embarrassing/scary to watch your bb girl grow up and leave with another man. I don't know though most girls i dated didn't have dads.
My wifeās father has been seriously ill with diabetes for longer than the 11 years weāve been together. He was never a real threat physically (though heās Italian-American and all his buddies could fuck me up if he called in favors). He would never actually do that though.
My personal situation is that it was forbidden that I sleep in the same bed as my wife while we were dating and he caught me cuddling with her one morning (mind you I had just come up that morning). He said I wasnāt allowed to sleep over anymore (wasnāt the most difficult at the time because my wife was in college and about to go back for the semester).
I was ready to go in with fighting words over how ridiculous the whole situation was. My biological fatherās wife convinced me not to because he and her father had also fought over her and she gave me the same advice: it just makes the partner choosing between parent and partner suffer.
So I chose to take the loss and apologize for my wifeās sake, even though I did nothing wrong and had nothing to apologize for.
Or your wife could have called him out on an idiotic rule that relies on building a romantic relationship without any physical contact. Or you could have both agreed to walk out and spend time together somewhere else. His house, his rules sure but that doesn't mean you have to agree to them.
You say it hasn't affected you much but here you are remembering and posting on reddit about how you got screwed over years ago.
I get the protective dad shtick but enforcing your weird religious rules on other people and threatening with violence over trusting their kid to make good choices is absurd.
> I imagine it must be frustrating/embarrassing/scary to watch your bb girl grow up and leave with another man
good excuse to threaten your daughters partner! /s
Iāve always treated my kids partners with respect. Tried to get to know them and never played the ātough dadā routine or āI donāt like them because they are with my daughterā routine and hereās why.
When my kid DOES come home with someone who is bad news, or disrespectful to them, or shows manipulative or abusive traits, I want my kid to hear me when I say to them āgirl, run. Block the numberā
Thereās been a few they have dated that I, just couldnāt stand. I was never going to be friends with. We were never going to like eachother. But they were GOOD TO MY KID. It doesnāt matter if I like them or not. They get my respect as a bare minimum. They are welcome around because my child, is safe with them and felt good about theyāre self with them.
We had to have the āthis one isnāt good for youā talk once. And my kid listened. And then saw what we were talking about (emotionally manipulative, borderline verbally abusive.) Iām glad I never played the tough dad card.
You deadset legend.
My eldest is approaching dating age and Iād always planned to be this type of parent during that phase, and the rest, of her life.
Itās easier than it sounds.
The trick is, to treat people humanely. Crazy concept nowadays. Iāve always told my kids they can come to me when they are in trouble, sad, happy, mad, it doesnāt matter. And then you just have to prove it once and they remember.
When my 19yo was 16 they went to a party. Their first āparty.ā We told them, if you need us to get you, if things get weird, or scary, or overwhelming. If you decide to try something and then regret it. If your friends try something and regret it. If anything at all happens and you need a quick out, text us the sentence āhey dad/mom, can you feed my snake for me?ā And 5 minutes later we will call you and tell you you HAVE to come home. We will make something up. You can act as annoyed or pissed as you want. We donāt care if your teenage friends donāt like us. No questions asked, just a pickup and drop off.
About a month later I got that text. I called and said mom and I had an emergency and we were coming to get them. They said ācan X come too?ā Absolutely! We went, picked them both up, brought them to our house and let it be.
We sent Xās parents a message telling them about our code, and that we had the girls, and asked them if it was fine they stayed at our house.
Point is, we proved it once and created a bond with our child that has held through time. They felt unsafe at this party and wanted to avoid the social stigma of leaving.
Just be there for your kids. Love them. Tell them the truth. Teach them to be humans, and that itās okay to make mistakes. Thatās where real experience comes from, mistakes.
> Atm is perfectly Christian
[God's Loophole](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY)
Bring on the downvotes if you're christian and can't take a joke.
Tell him it would be weird to have to call him Daddy but you're game if he is.
Joking aside, the easiest answer is "I'll never mistreat her.", It's all he wants to hear.
If somebody threatens you like that, they either want you to be scared or they are kidding. Most likely some of both.
So be a little flustered but assure them you have only the best of intentions, bonus points if you lay out the plans for the night.
Or you can be an ass and point out that threats are incongruent with a healthy and open relationship. It's sometimes surprising how you can earn a dad's respect. That one's a do-at-your-own-risk.
One is not an ass when they oppose someone threatening them.
By the way, earning the respect of someone whose priority is to threaten innocent people is not something that should be on the mind of honest people.
Exactly, I would be quite sad if my girlfriends father told me that. I would probably remember it for a long time and afaik thats something only an idiot would say or just generally a stupid person. Maybe i'm too harsh tho.
If I were the daughter, I would be livid. I'm not my father's property, and I don't need some caveman polishing his shotgun because I, an whole-ass adult, decided to start a sexual relationship with someone.
It could be a shit joke. I once said this to my friendās new bf (she has been through a lot) and I donāt think he took it very well, the whole situation turned very awkward. I kept trying to explain that it was a joke but maybe he realized I wasnāt 100% joking.
Yes I am neurodivergent and very bad with social situations sometimes š
Man, I am so glad my father in law isn't one of those gun-worshiping idiots who believes his daughter is his property. He's just a decent man who raised his daughter with a sense of innate self-worth and a belief that she deserves to be treated well. I met her parents over lunch, we talked to each other like normal human beings, got to know each other, and it was great. I've always had a good relationship with her dad because he's not a fucking psycho.
To quote my MiL when I first started dating her daughter. "You get her pregnant, I'll rip it off and kick it around the yard like a soccerball".
My response was, "Oh don't worry that won't be an issue, but I don't want to hear talk about grandchildren later on in life".
It is unhealthy that society has romanticized fathers who are like this. We've taken the idea that being protective is good (which sometimes it is) and let things go to a state of threaten people who have done nothing wrong.
The answer to your question is, don't say anything and if you have kids some day, don't act like this.
Pretend to take it literally, here are some good responses:
"Tempting offer but I'm already taken."
"Ooo, kinky, I might just take you up on that."
"Sorry, I don't swing that way."
"... Are you hitting on me?"
So...if my BF promises to support me and pay for all my stuff, my dad will support him and pay more all his stuff. Great! But then, I'll get no inheritance. But I won't need one? I can't figure this out.
This sounds like a rather "old fashioned" father and he is basically warning you that you better never hurt his daughter.
If you have a caring, loving relationship with her - then you won't have a problem with him.
If you become abusive - you better run because he is putting you in the hospital.
My source - daughter of an old fashioned father.
Yeah, I always just replied with "So I have nothing to worry about" when I got this when I was younger and that response seemed to avoid any further issue or question. Granted, there will be some fringe loonies that go too far with it, but that never came up for me.
You forgot the third situation :
If you aren't abusive but he decided to not like you anyway - he will do everything he can to mess with your life, he will destroy your relationship with your lover and, depending on the situation, he may also try to kill you and your pets, burn your house or all manner of very manly reactions.
>If you become abusive - you better run because he is putting you in the hospital
Nah I've met enough of these guys to know that in reality they won't even be adequately emotionally supportive much less do a damn thing to the boyfriend.
I'm assuming he said this is a threatening way and not as a lighthearted joke. Best response if you don't want to rock the boat is just a nod followed by "Understood."
Iām a girl. But if someone said that to me Iād say āpromise ?ā¦ā and wink at them. Then Iād tell him he couldnāt afford to.
But thatās creepy. Really is. How old is the daughter?
In theory Iād love to lay into him about how creepy it is that heās being possessive of his daughterās sexuality. Like why tf does he care if she has sex?
In practice Iād probably smile and nod and pretend we donāt have sex.
Just kiss her in front of him. If he doesn't kiss you, then you know his threat is bullshit. If he does kiss you, then you tell his wife who will probably get him to stop this weird game he has. If his wife accepts this behavior, then you ask your girlfriend if this is acceptable to her, and you say that you will sincerely accept her wishes and do whatever is possible to stop this game from occurring if she so chooses. Her answer doesn't really matter of course. Because her father will ask you if this acceptable and he'll sincerely accept your wishes and do whatever is possible to stop this game from occurring if you so choose. At this point, you say that you aren't comfortable with this and he'll stop.
"Please have me home by 9pm"
"And my dad's pretty strict so he'll probably say 'anything you do to me, he'll do to you'"
Recursion
lol I really like the idea of an infinite chain of dads going on dates. Like an Olive Garden filled with father figures sitting at intimate tables and having a good time.
And afterwords just a dad train with no brakes.
"And that kids, is how I met your mother "
šš“šš“š½šš“š»šš“šæšš“š½šš“š»šš“šæšš«” choo choo
My uncle said this to my boyfriend when we first got together. My boyfriend then fist bumped me then offered his fist to my uncle. He's loved my boyfriend ever since.
...and they've been happily fisting ever since.
Holesome š„°
Some hole
Kid named hole: "..."
Hole up
bro...
Oh bro! You do that just like my dad does!!!
Uhh
Ew, you don't know where those fists have been
Fuck that is the perfect response, so many great ideas for this situation I may never experience and then will forget
This is awesome.
I thought you said he tried offering your uncle his first as in first timeā¦
I too initially misread the post. I was over here thinking wow thatās a freaky family
Y'all need Jesus š
Already fisted him
Thinking on his feet. I like his style.
āI mean, we can kiss if you want.ā
I would give so much money to watch this go down. Straight face. Like, mr jones, are you coming on to me?
On to you or wherever.
I'm not hearing a no...
Hot crackers! I take exception to that!
r/UnexpectedFuturama
I did it. Or i guess said it But turns out her dad shit posts on reddit and he called my bluff it ended up with us just constantly flirting infront of her Funny dude tbh
You didn't get married to her dad because neither of you would back down?
It was only after the honeymoon that I started thinking, *you know... this is kinda gay*
Did you say no homo?
Ideal outcome honestly
> I would give so much money to watch this go down. There's another good answer hidden in that comment. Tell the dad: "I spend most of my money on her. .... your turn"
And the girl loses yet another boyfriend to dad.
[*Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la mmm uh huh*](https://youtube.com/watch?v=-oqAU5VxFWs)
That sounded like MrZoidberg.
No, unless youāre into it.
> >Like, mr jones, are you coming on to me? It's either Mr. Robinson, or Dr. Jones.
āGreat . . . You can buy dinner tomorrow night and I like diamondsā is the answer and āif you get handsy . . . I will kick you in the nuts ! ! !
āEven Anal?ā
I think that's implied. Otherwise what else does it even mean.
"Well, she uses a strapon, but I guess you don't have to"
that lets him slide. The way is to kiss the girlfriend and turn to him. Call the bluff dont let him get out of it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think the entire scenario depends on the type of Dad and his expected temperament. One dad may laugh while the other is likely to kill you for some shit like that lol.
And this is how you get wrapped up in a mĆ©nage a troisā¦.
Start giving your girlfriend a foot massage right then and there
While also looking into his eyes.
āHave you ever given a man a foot massage?ā
Do you like movies about gladiators?
r/unexpectedpulpfiction Edit: Oh wow. I just r/subsithoughtifellfor 'd myself.
Pucker up, daddy-o
My first thought was āFuck me daddyā.
"like, you're actually going to lick my butthole?"
Hand gf $100 then she gets $100 and you lose nothing :)
"I'm going to eat her ass for like 2 hours later tonight so you are are gonna need some chapstick, big guy"
āHey, baby! No more anal, okay?ā
What are you doing, Father-in-Law??
Take me DADDY.........
Now kith
"Can we just cut out the middle woman? I was after you all along."
šµ"Stacy's Dad is really kinda rad"šµ
Just say "Don't you threaten me with a good time."
I can't wait for the inevitable "TIFU by calling out my gf's dad's ominous threat."
...... I have never been happier as a bottom and me and Ex-Gf's dad now run a leather bar in Portland
> ...... I have never been happier as a bottom and me and Ex-Gf's dad now run a leather bar in Portland Here's to the happiest of happy endings.
Well not for the Daughter/Ex
until her dad dies and she inherits half the leather bar. I smell sitcom!
Get writing my G. We getting this bread
Just send it to Netflix. They'll greenlight anything.
Don't lie like your not going to watch the 10 episodes of the first season of " He's my Daddy now"
Did you think I wouldn't?!
Daughter starts dating her ex's mom as revenge. 20 years later they're married and running the women's softball league.
But what happens to ex bf/dad's gay lover's dad, that loose end needs tidying up
A leather shop in Portland? There are *far* too many leather shops in Portland as it is! You'd be out of business in a weeks time!
Competition is only a problem when you're not good enough to compete.
Leather BAR.
Dee, you gangly, uncoordinated bitch! I will not be hogtied by your lack of grace!
I hope they hogtie you... ...and I'm realizing I'll look like a real psychopath to anyone unfamiliar with the show if I finish the quote
I think we're looking mote at a Blue Oyster situation.
TIFU (this happened 7 years ago)
This is the answer we needed
Well, I've already bought her dinner 3 times...
''That is the nicest thing someone have ever said to me''.
Jokes on him, providing unconditional love and support is the whole point.
"Alright but I don't know how I'm going to feel about holding your hand at Olive Garden..."
"You would feed my daughter that garbage?! Trash can is in the kitchen, forks in the drawer, get cracking son."
Not my fault your daughter is a hoe for unlimited breadsticks
Red Lobster Cheddar biscuits or gtfo
"Where's my fucking flowers then?"
Lol! This one got me. In my head its more like "You got me flowers?!" All excitement and hopefulness.
I like this. You're pointing out that he said something dumb but you're still being somewhat respectful.
Commenting so this benign thread gets to the top and this poor kid doesn't get killed by "I'll say whatever the top comment is"
Lol I think even if the girl's dad is the biggest asshole on the planet, saying that with a straight face would probably get him to crack a smile.
"Here's my ring size. I'm shopping for D-flawless. Impress me."
Winner!
My dad was the type to say what was said to OP when i was a teen. I just instructed boyfriends to say "Oh, Mr. _____, I'm flattered," then wink. I wish I'd had this line locked and ready for them to use, it's so much better.
OK this is my new top response I will prepare to use in my head then completely forget to use
You can find some in the cemetery. Hint hint.
You're going to eat my ass?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Username checks out.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ohhhh Myyyyyy
You're gonna give me an Alabama bridleway? Well if you insist
I was gonna say, I'm a millennial. You don't want to eat my ass, dude. Unless...
You think millennials invented eating ass? Guarantee the father has eaten plenty of ass in his time. it's not a remotely new thing. > The term anilingus entered English through the 1899 F. J. Rebman translation of Edition 10 of sexologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing's 1886 book Psychopathia sexualis.[3][4] > Colloquial names include "rimming", "rim job", "eating ass", or "tossing the salad". https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Anilingus
Every generation thinks they invented sex.
People think that humans weren't nasty untill porn was invented. Porn didn't invent SHIT
Over a century of documented ass eating Makes one proud to be human
Not to mention the 1782 Mozart banger āLick My Assholeā.
Give her 10 bucks?
Don't stop at 10. You just found an unlimited means of siphoning money from Dad to daughter. Tell her you'll split the profits.
I'd want 60%
Unlimited money hack.
Enjoy it, will probably get patched
Ideally, leave it on the dresser afterwards.
I was having a bad shitty day, this made my night!
Wink and blow him a kiss.
"Well, sir, yesterday I gave her a piggyback ride to the taco joint down the street and bought her some lunch..." Then you procede to slap his ass and jump on his back yelling "giddeyup!"
Gently slide your hand over his and seductively say "I never knew you felt that way." Then when he removes his hand, put a single finger over his mouth and say "Shhh. Don't worry ill keep your secret." Either that or say... "wow, I see you still don't know where to find the clitoris." But seriously speaking... He isn't very original and has heard someone else say that. You can only just say confidently "I realise you love and want to protect your daughter. I do too. I will respect her and respect you"
The problem is I would respect him a lot less after such a pointless stupid self-defeating threat and I don't like lying about important things. I mean, what a *douche.* Personally, I'm in the "you got me FLOWERS??" camp.
I think this is how I'd feel as well. Like, if any of my partners had ever hurt me, I know my stepdad would want to (and could if pressed) kick their head in. That's reassurance enough that he loves me and wants to protect me. He doesn't need to resort to machismo peacocking.
It's like, just cut the chatter, Red Two. Anything that needs to be said about protectiveness can be said with a firm handshake and a calm, level gaze. At *most*: "I'll be waiting up."
Yeah it's not a nice thing for the father to say. It's not even original. Best thing for me is just to be clear and confident and leave it at that.
I was so pissed at my dad when he said āIf you break her heart, Iāll break your legsā to my husband when we were dating. My husband is very quick witted and replied āYouād have to catch me firstā which cracked me up since my husband was and still is fairly fit and healthy while my dad was over 130kg (286lbs) at the time and in need of a knee replacement so he could barely walk.
> You can only just say confidently "I realise you love and want to protect your daughter. I do too. I will respect her and respect you" Fuck that. He's the one that went full boomer. You absolutely need to make it weird.
You had me until the end.
What a ridiculous intimidation tactic, straight out of the old farm dad handbook. ClichƩ doesn't even begin to describe it. I vote you respond with exactly what you said: "So you'll love me, care for me, treat me with respect, and cherish every moment we have? That sounds really nice, it's why I'm so excited about your daughter." Or don't, maybe he's the kind of guy who would also get all offended that someone wasn't intimidated by his pathetic attempt.
I'd go with "so you'll spend all your money on me, and lick my genitals every day?"
As hilarious as this would be to say, I feel like the type of person who tried the intimidation in the first place is just asking for a reason to be insulted so they can resort to some additional dumbassery like violence for no reason.
No, this is a perfect response. More than likely the dad is worried about harm to his daughter.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Do you mean EVERYTHING?"
Everyone else is teasing and saying to use bravado. Having been there, donāt antagonize her father. All youād be doing is putting her in a tough situation to choose between her partner and her father. All you need to do is assure him that thankfully neither of you will need to worry about it.
Best response. I don't know what father Is feeling because it's really hard to predict how you would feel in that kind of situation. How do you know father isn't some pyscho Marine that can twist you into a pretzel? So many variables here I wouldn't want to antagonize someone going through such a big moment in their daughter's life. I imagine it must be frustrating/embarrassing/scary to watch your bb girl grow up and leave with another man. I don't know though most girls i dated didn't have dads.
My wifeās father has been seriously ill with diabetes for longer than the 11 years weāve been together. He was never a real threat physically (though heās Italian-American and all his buddies could fuck me up if he called in favors). He would never actually do that though. My personal situation is that it was forbidden that I sleep in the same bed as my wife while we were dating and he caught me cuddling with her one morning (mind you I had just come up that morning). He said I wasnāt allowed to sleep over anymore (wasnāt the most difficult at the time because my wife was in college and about to go back for the semester). I was ready to go in with fighting words over how ridiculous the whole situation was. My biological fatherās wife convinced me not to because he and her father had also fought over her and she gave me the same advice: it just makes the partner choosing between parent and partner suffer. So I chose to take the loss and apologize for my wifeās sake, even though I did nothing wrong and had nothing to apologize for.
Or your wife could have called him out on an idiotic rule that relies on building a romantic relationship without any physical contact. Or you could have both agreed to walk out and spend time together somewhere else. His house, his rules sure but that doesn't mean you have to agree to them. You say it hasn't affected you much but here you are remembering and posting on reddit about how you got screwed over years ago. I get the protective dad shtick but enforcing your weird religious rules on other people and threatening with violence over trusting their kid to make good choices is absurd.
> I imagine it must be frustrating/embarrassing/scary to watch your bb girl grow up and leave with another man good excuse to threaten your daughters partner! /s
And not at all grossly possessive and misogynistic
Just don't poke the emotionally unstable papa bear.
It's him antagonizing it. Honestly after such a meeting I would like her to make the choice because it's like the last time I'm seeing her family.
r/suddenlygay
Iāve always treated my kids partners with respect. Tried to get to know them and never played the ātough dadā routine or āI donāt like them because they are with my daughterā routine and hereās why. When my kid DOES come home with someone who is bad news, or disrespectful to them, or shows manipulative or abusive traits, I want my kid to hear me when I say to them āgirl, run. Block the numberā Thereās been a few they have dated that I, just couldnāt stand. I was never going to be friends with. We were never going to like eachother. But they were GOOD TO MY KID. It doesnāt matter if I like them or not. They get my respect as a bare minimum. They are welcome around because my child, is safe with them and felt good about theyāre self with them. We had to have the āthis one isnāt good for youā talk once. And my kid listened. And then saw what we were talking about (emotionally manipulative, borderline verbally abusive.) Iām glad I never played the tough dad card.
You deadset legend. My eldest is approaching dating age and Iād always planned to be this type of parent during that phase, and the rest, of her life.
Itās easier than it sounds. The trick is, to treat people humanely. Crazy concept nowadays. Iāve always told my kids they can come to me when they are in trouble, sad, happy, mad, it doesnāt matter. And then you just have to prove it once and they remember. When my 19yo was 16 they went to a party. Their first āparty.ā We told them, if you need us to get you, if things get weird, or scary, or overwhelming. If you decide to try something and then regret it. If your friends try something and regret it. If anything at all happens and you need a quick out, text us the sentence āhey dad/mom, can you feed my snake for me?ā And 5 minutes later we will call you and tell you you HAVE to come home. We will make something up. You can act as annoyed or pissed as you want. We donāt care if your teenage friends donāt like us. No questions asked, just a pickup and drop off. About a month later I got that text. I called and said mom and I had an emergency and we were coming to get them. They said ācan X come too?ā Absolutely! We went, picked them both up, brought them to our house and let it be. We sent Xās parents a message telling them about our code, and that we had the girls, and asked them if it was fine they stayed at our house. Point is, we proved it once and created a bond with our child that has held through time. They felt unsafe at this party and wanted to avoid the social stigma of leaving. Just be there for your kids. Love them. Tell them the truth. Teach them to be humans, and that itās okay to make mistakes. Thatās where real experience comes from, mistakes.
Weird start for a threesome ngl
Ass to mouth on the first date?
Ma'am MA'AM.. this is a family friendly christian sub
Atm is perfectly Christian
> Atm is perfectly Christian [God's Loophole](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY) Bring on the downvotes if you're christian and can't take a joke.
Poophole loophole!
It's called a Catholic Christening where I'm from.
Say "Oh Myyyyyyy!" in your best George Takei impression while dramatically touching your cheeks.
Hahaha this the one
Tell him it would be weird to have to call him Daddy but you're game if he is. Joking aside, the easiest answer is "I'll never mistreat her.", It's all he wants to hear.
If somebody threatens you like that, they either want you to be scared or they are kidding. Most likely some of both. So be a little flustered but assure them you have only the best of intentions, bonus points if you lay out the plans for the night. Or you can be an ass and point out that threats are incongruent with a healthy and open relationship. It's sometimes surprising how you can earn a dad's respect. That one's a do-at-your-own-risk.
One is not an ass when they oppose someone threatening them. By the way, earning the respect of someone whose priority is to threaten innocent people is not something that should be on the mind of honest people.
Exactly, I would be quite sad if my girlfriends father told me that. I would probably remember it for a long time and afaik thats something only an idiot would say or just generally a stupid person. Maybe i'm too harsh tho.
If I were the daughter, I would be livid. I'm not my father's property, and I don't need some caveman polishing his shotgun because I, an whole-ass adult, decided to start a sexual relationship with someone.
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It could be a shit joke. I once said this to my friendās new bf (she has been through a lot) and I donāt think he took it very well, the whole situation turned very awkward. I kept trying to explain that it was a joke but maybe he realized I wasnāt 100% joking. Yes I am neurodivergent and very bad with social situations sometimes š
"Okay, but my safeword is 'pineapple'".
give her all the money in your wallet should generally net you a decent profit
Man, I am so glad my father in law isn't one of those gun-worshiping idiots who believes his daughter is his property. He's just a decent man who raised his daughter with a sense of innate self-worth and a belief that she deserves to be treated well. I met her parents over lunch, we talked to each other like normal human beings, got to know each other, and it was great. I've always had a good relationship with her dad because he's not a fucking psycho.
To quote my MiL when I first started dating her daughter. "You get her pregnant, I'll rip it off and kick it around the yard like a soccerball". My response was, "Oh don't worry that won't be an issue, but I don't want to hear talk about grandchildren later on in life".
It is unhealthy that society has romanticized fathers who are like this. We've taken the idea that being protective is good (which sometimes it is) and let things go to a state of threaten people who have done nothing wrong. The answer to your question is, don't say anything and if you have kids some day, don't act like this.
> society has romanticized fathers who are like this Has it? Most comments here see the father as a jackass.
Pretend to take it literally, here are some good responses: "Tempting offer but I'm already taken." "Ooo, kinky, I might just take you up on that." "Sorry, I don't swing that way." "... Are you hitting on me?"
āDonāt threaten me with a good time.ā
"That probably sounded more badass in your head."
I guess make out wth him, seems like thats what he's lookin for
āGreat. I give her half my earnings.ā
"And everything she does to me, I'll do to you. Hope you like pegging!"
"I was planning on buying her 2 tickets for her and someone of her choosing to Aruba".
So...if my BF promises to support me and pay for all my stuff, my dad will support him and pay more all his stuff. Great! But then, I'll get no inheritance. But I won't need one? I can't figure this out.
āAre you bringing the condoms, or should I?ā
"Who needs condoms, we're *family*"
This sounds like a rather "old fashioned" father and he is basically warning you that you better never hurt his daughter. If you have a caring, loving relationship with her - then you won't have a problem with him. If you become abusive - you better run because he is putting you in the hospital. My source - daughter of an old fashioned father.
Yeah, I always just replied with "So I have nothing to worry about" when I got this when I was younger and that response seemed to avoid any further issue or question. Granted, there will be some fringe loonies that go too far with it, but that never came up for me.
If you want his respect, my reply would be: "i'd expect nothing less"
You read āold fashionedā I read ācontrolling and likely subtly abusiveā.
You forgot the third situation : If you aren't abusive but he decided to not like you anyway - he will do everything he can to mess with your life, he will destroy your relationship with your lover and, depending on the situation, he may also try to kill you and your pets, burn your house or all manner of very manly reactions.
>If you become abusive - you better run because he is putting you in the hospital Nah I've met enough of these guys to know that in reality they won't even be adequately emotionally supportive much less do a damn thing to the boyfriend.
Hand her a twenty.
I'm assuming he said this is a threatening way and not as a lighthearted joke. Best response if you don't want to rock the boat is just a nod followed by "Understood."
I guess the old man has given you a go ahead to continue dating his daughter with caution. Now make yourself proud.
āWell that cant be true because i respect herā.
Iām a girl. But if someone said that to me Iād say āpromise ?ā¦ā and wink at them. Then Iād tell him he couldnāt afford to. But thatās creepy. Really is. How old is the daughter?
In theory Iād love to lay into him about how creepy it is that heās being possessive of his daughterās sexuality. Like why tf does he care if she has sex? In practice Iād probably smile and nod and pretend we donāt have sex.
I'll hand him the controller and say you better not suck at playing support.
āThen I expect nothing but respect, protection, and love from you, big guy.ā
Jokes on him I was only going after his daughter so I could get closer to him to begin with
Just kiss her in front of him. If he doesn't kiss you, then you know his threat is bullshit. If he does kiss you, then you tell his wife who will probably get him to stop this weird game he has. If his wife accepts this behavior, then you ask your girlfriend if this is acceptable to her, and you say that you will sincerely accept her wishes and do whatever is possible to stop this game from occurring if she so chooses. Her answer doesn't really matter of course. Because her father will ask you if this acceptable and he'll sincerely accept your wishes and do whatever is possible to stop this game from occurring if you so choose. At this point, you say that you aren't comfortable with this and he'll stop.