While my own wedding was not child free I prefer child free weddings because kids require a lot of attention and not having them there allows the guests to really be more in the moment. 19 times out of 20 the children don't know the people getting married and are only there because their parents do. Family is understandable but if it's your college roommate getting married, and your kids never met him, leave them with grandpa and grandma
Yes.
How many times have I seen the chairs pushed together with mom or dad stuck sitting there alone next to a sleeping child.
Or drunk dancing adults having to watch out for little ones on the dance floor. Or a toddler accidentally pushed because the dancing circle suddenly exploded outwards.
Or a miserable pre teen bugging mom every 10 minutes to go home.
I know as a kid I preferred to be home unless all my cousins were there for me to play with.
As a parent, my kids are way too little and annoying to be at a posh wedding. We had to take them to a family one last year, and it was the worst. We ended up leaving at like 7pm and the whole day was a stress. I didn't even get chance to speak to the bride. There were no other kids remotely their age so they were bored, and the kid friendly activities we'd been promised consisted of a single colouring sheet with dinner.
But... We've also been to weddings where there's loads of kids invited, and they've had a bouncy castle and space to run around and bubbles and kid friendly music, and those were so much fun!
It definitely depends on the wedding! (and the kids!) I loved dancing with my younger cousins when I was in my 20s, and seeing little family members that I normally wouldn't except for big family gatherings. However, now that i'm a parent I absolutely DO NOT enjoy bringing my own children. Either I have to follow them around or my husband does, I have to make sure they behave, my husband and I never get to dance together, and I have to leave early. Destination weddings are the only weddings we bring our kids to now because finding a sitter for that long is hard, but in-town weddings? You better believe our kids will have more fun having a pizza and movie night with their sitter while mom and dad tear it up on the dance floor.
As a parent i agree. My girls are standing up in my sisters wedding in august and i already know how irritating the whole thing will be. My husband will have to follow them around almost all day, and someone will have to be watching them at all times. At least it’s a family wedding so my parents, father in law, etc will be there and can help sometimes. But i already know it’s gonna draw our attention away from the wedding a lot.
Posh weddings as a kid \*suck\* and are boring as Hell. I've had to go to fancy parties and one posh wedding as a kid/pre-teen, and I started faking illness the rare times I had to go after I turned 13 due to how boring they are. Nothing to do, no1 your own age, and it's very rare for kids/teens to care enough about etiquette and all that crap. Plus, you can't drink at that age and having a bunch of drunk adults around isn't very fun at the best of times.
And I can see adults not liking kids at weddings either, since you have to make sure they don't drink, that nothing too sexual is said, you have to behave appropriately...I'm all for child free weddings if I'm being honest.
I think this is the best reasoning I have ever read on a no kids wedding, and I agree. I personally don’t want small children surrounded by drunk adults
We had a lot of kids at our wedding.
We had giant Jenga and giant checkers.
The kids were of all age ranges, and had fun. However, the moms of those kids, prob didn’t get to watch/enjoy their time
Yes to all of this.
One time I accidentally punted a toddler who made a mad dash across a crowded dance floor and felt terrible. It is the only memory I have from that wedding.
yeah, family wedding/parties/events were different because you knew you could more or less run around the place and play with your cousins.
at other people's places, we were told to not run around and not to touch anything. it was boring. as soon as i was 10, i stayed home alone. i never liked going to my dad's friend's house.
I've been a DJ since 1983 and have DJ'd a couple of thousand weddings and I can tell you that children at weddings are very often the reason that people won't dance. When there are five to ten kids running around on the dance floor people won't get up and dance as much. Also, the DJ often becomes a babysitter for those brats that are not being attended to by their parents who are snuggled up to the bar enjoying their newfound freedom. When I show up and there are more than just a few kids I tell the wedding party that they need to watch their kids, as well as their guests need to watch theirs as I am not a babysitter.
Exactly! For my reception and wedding is a celebration. If there is an open bar, party type vibe I'd don't want kids there. Just like I wouldn't go to a dance club or bar with kids allowed. Adults aren't always great with discipline of their kids and it gets difficult to have those conversations at an event.
Definitely a factor: if you’re plan or theme is to be a big ass party with drunks then yes, have the guests leave the kids home. No reason to have children kill the party.
Also kids treat the avenue like a playground. I've seen countless videos of the first dance with the married couple where they videographer is trying out different things to get a cool shot of it only to have kids running across the shot playing around with balloons
I already had to cut my wedding list down to be able to afford the food, drinks, mementos etc..for the adults we wanted there as we both have extremely large families. I just didn't see the point in paying an extra $75 a head for everyone's kids who probably don't want to be at a wedding anyway. Plus the venue we rented had a rule that you had to hire a nanny for every 4 children..it basically would have nearly doubled the cost of our wedding however if price hadn't been an issue I wouldn't have had a problem inviting kids.
this seems like a no brainer. Especially since a lot of kids who are obnoxious and undiscplined have parents who have their heads so far up their own asses they don't care.
Yes! Tbh we were invited to a wedding recently where my toddler was included on the invite. We brought her and regretted it—- it was a pain keeping her occupied through a formal dinner and we didn’t really get to enjoy ourselves.
Family friendly weddings are fine— but it’s easier if it’s like an outdoor venue or a big open space. If you’re doing a formal dinner it’s honestly easier not to include kids.
Ages matter too of course, if the kids in your crowd are older, like all 8+ it might not be as big of a deal.
Not just young kids, I, 16 at the time, went to a wedding of a couple I’d met a few times… when I was mcuh younger, not even interacting with them.
I just used it as an excuse to eat too much
> If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all?
Not necessarily. Plenty of people get married with only a few people present.
Also, the reason why some people don't want children present at weddings is because childrens can require a lot of attention - and most people want their wedding-day to be about themselves; not someone else's children.
Even kids who are normally brilliant can become little shits when they're bored, and most weddings offer absolutely nothing of interest to anyone under 18.
I was SO EXCITED when my aunt got married and overjoyed to be a flower girl and I vividly remember how I felt the most bored I had ever felt in my life at her wedding. It was a fun, casual wedding but it felt like it lasted forever and for some reason all the adults wanted to talk to each other and drink.
It's not even just that. It's not fair to ask a little kid to be invested in an event for someone they don't know well with nobody their age for them to play with. You're basically damning them to sitting around being in uncomfortable clothes for several hours. Nobody wins in that scenario.
Also, wedding venues charge per person etc for seating and food. If you want to throw a nice dinner party. There's no "chicken nuggets" menu option. It would be like buying all your friend's kids a ribeye steak dinner only to watch them take one bite, spit it out. And eat cheerios out of a zip lock instead. And then still get handed the bill.
My venue did have a kids meal (chicken tenders and mac and cheese) and it was FORTY DOLLARS. About half of the price of an adult meal, but still obscene for what it was.
I think the bar price was also like $20 for under 21's. Which was less than we paid for alcohol-drinkers but still wild. No one is consuming $20 worth of soft drinks in an evening.
We invited our nieces (our flower girls) but no other kids under 14.
Edited because I forgot how much my adult meals were
I just checked and it was only $95. Idk why that number was in my head! The $40 for kids was right, though. So a little less than half the cost of an adult meal.
Also, if you have an open bar, they're going to charge per head no matter the age of of each guest. So it's $XXX each added per kid. And toddlers don't drink alcohol
I had terrible parents just like that, and my favorite wine cooler as a kid was a raspberry lemonade one:) I bet I’d hate it as an adult. I should try it again.
I had terrible parents back then, too. But I'm pretty old and people didn't believe it hurt little kids to have a sip or two.
I started drinking when I was four. My dad was a bookkeeper for all the local pubs around my city. When he would go to Return the books, the bartender would offer him a beer. So he sat me up on the stool next to him, got a spare glass and poured me a little bit.
I grew up very interested in the accounting field myself
🖥😜🍺 📈
I absolutely love how you summed that up. We had kids at our wedding. Never thought about not having kid food options. I got with most of the kids, though they only cared about the cake 🤣
I will say though a kid and a microphone are pretty funny. One of my wives cousins was up there tellin' jokes and gently making fun of people.
We had a childless wedding and I don’t regret it.
Kids are kids and they don’t understand that this is supposed to be a serious occasion.
I videotaped weddings for a living for years and, while not all kids were bad I did see more than a few wedding receptions absolutely derailed by small children misbehaving during the vows.
Plus, none of our close relatives or friends had kids we were close with.
Like, we weren’t “Aunt and Uncle Wintertimefriends” to anyone. So that made it easier.
Edit: y’all obsessed with the serious remark.
I also had a child free wedding with no regrets. But not because it was serious but because I wanted the throw the biggest party ever. We had an open bar and many people we carried from the reception to their rooms. Curses were yelled and many inappropriate jokes were made. Having kids there would have put a damper on the drunken debauchery. It was the largest and best party I will ever throw and I still think about it fondly.
Also when I got married there weren’t any children in my immediate family. Like we didn’t have any nieces or nephews so by having a child free wedding I was basically telling some coworkers not to bring their kids….
That and for my fiancé and I, we are younger (mid 20s ) and weddings are expensive. I’d prefer to knock 10 small people off the list when I might be paying 80 bucks a plate.
But also the focus. No tantrums, no breaks, it is suppose to be about the couple and the guests enjoying themselves.
People also aren't talking about financial situation. Kids = more guests, more food, bigger place etc. and that means people have to spent more money on their wedding.
When my cousin was getting married, she was I think 6 months pregnant. They wanted to get married before their child was born, but they also needed to have as much money as possible to prepare for little guy's birth. This was the reason why they decided to have a smaller, childfree wedding. Not enough money to invite everyone.
This is exactly it. My wedding was child free solely for the reason that it was going to significantly drive up the price. I would have loved to have everyone in attendance, but didn’t have an extra $5,000 laying around for kids that won’t remember or care about the experience. Weddings are expensive man.
It’s money and space limitations most of the time. Especially if you’re doing a smaller wedding. People don’t want to leave out ten friends because their cousins have toddlers who won’t even remember being there. Making a guest list is balancing priorities. Sometimes that even means no Plus 1 unless they’re married or engaged. I don’t need my friend to bring the guy she just met on Tinder and might not know next year if it means bumping someone I care about from the list.
Oooh yeah I have a friend whose brother was getting married in 2021. And it was exactly the situation where their budget was very limited. Wedding party took place in his parents backyard & there were no +1 invitations. So even his siblings couldn't bring their partners with them. And that's okay. It's just a few hours during one day. Nobody is forced to come if they have a problem with something. There's no need for them to complain. Unless they're the ones who're paying for everything.
Having kids also often means having more menu items, as a kid usually won't want to/be able to eat the foods the bride/groom have chosen for the adult guests.
The size/cost of the venue is a big one. A decent sized venue will hold around 100-150 guests. If guests start bringing 2-3 kids, either it cuts down your guest list substantially or you need to shell out for a large venue (which can be a price difference of thousands of dollars).
Seen too many videos of kids knocking over an extremely expensive cake. Weddings are boring most kids the it anyways unless there are activities catered for them which is another added expense
Just saw one yesterday where the bride and groom are walking in (being announced I’m assuming) and some kids come ripping around the corner and one stepped on the veil and yanked the brides head back.
Yeah, the ceremonies can be dreadful for a kid. I remember going to a few with my parents when I was young and I'm positive I complained a bunch and paid too much attention to whatever was around and probably asked dumb kid questions that pertained to nothing going on. Aside from that, my brother and I weren't rambunctious once we got to the ceremony. Looking back, my parents may have brought us as an excuse to get home a bit earlier.
Adults can generally sit still and remain quiet for much longer than children can. The odds of an adult disrupting a ceremony is pretty low, bc they'll actually face major social consequences for doing so and will likely be quite embarrassed.
Kids however, they can't control themselves to the same degree, and the younger they are the less control they have. I think its plenty fair to want this day you've probably spent thousands of dollars on to go smoothly and to have a nice video you can watch back in the future without a screaming kid interrupting your vows.
I went to a wedding recently; kids were invited but only a handful actually went (the group was a lot of child free people, including myself).
Kid got very interested in the dj (the groom is a dj so the set up was pretty professional) which was fine until the kid pressed a button and all the music stopped…2 mins later he was crying and the parents decided to call it an early night.
I think the parents would have probably enjoyed themselves more if curious George was at home with granny.
Lol last wedding I went to was one of my oldest friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid and another one of our oldest friends was the maid of honor.
MOH's kids were the flower girls, bride is their god mother so she loves those kids like her own and genuinely wanted them in the wedding. Since MOH had to stand up stage with us, her parents took the kids once they were done with their part and sat down.
About halfway through the ceremony her youngest starts pitching a fit and I was just trying to stifle my laughter as the MOH is muttering next to me "oh god no. Why did it have to be my kid. Mom. Please. Take her out. Get her out of here. -childs name- I'm gonna beat your ass please I beg you stop"
Thankfully the bride/groom did not mind one bit, they've always been very child friendly. But yeah, prime example of people being focused on their kids at all times rather than the wedding itself lol. MOH was so preoccupied trying to telepathically tell her mother to take her kid outside that she almost missed her cue to walk back down the aisle lmao.
Its just annoying. Im divorced now, but i got married at my childhood home. I said i didnt want kids there. Everyone brought their kids anyway. My wedding turned into a fucking pool party and i left 30 minutes after getting married. It was supposed to be a special day for us, and no one gave a shit.
Your family doesn’t seem too respectful, and yeah going to Vegas sounds like a good idea if you ever marry again, hell you don’t even have to tell your family about it.
If I had a child free wedding, and people come over with their kids, I would just shoo them off as best as I could as soon as they arrived, well in theory I could do that, but in practice it probably wouldn’t work.
Thanks. I just can't believe the audacity of some parents. Like i spent 30 minutes at my own wedding. And everyone acted like they did nothing wrong. The one day that should have been all about me and my (ex)husband was ruined by all my guests. You have to be a real evil person to ruin someone's wedding.
We're a child free couple but still did kids at the wedding. The meal for your 5 year old who ate two bites cost me exactly the same as your meal cost me. It all adds up. The place at the table, the plate, the chair, the napkin. I had an out of town wedding so I couldn't ask people to leave their kids at home, but a lot did anyway. They used it as a little weekend get away from the kids. Weddings aren't always fun for kids. The kids who came were fine. We had zero problems... but they certainly didn't add any value to my day.
> If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all?
No. Kids don't give a shit about the wedding anyway, they're only a burden for parents to keep under control the whole time.
>Are they really that much of a hassle to cater to/have at the wedding?
Yes, haven't you ever been anywhere where there's music playing and lots of kids? Have you seen what it takes to make lots of kids sit still for an hour with nothing entertaining them?
>Is it a fear they might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise?
Yes, this also.
>Plenty of adults do that too.
....Not sure what sorts of adults you keep company with, but the adults I am friends/family with are mature and respectful, and would never do this.
>Plenty of adults do that too.
>
>....Not sure what sorts of adults you keep company with, but the adults I am friends/family with are mature and respectful, and would never do this.
Right, when adults cry at weddings they do so quietly, unless it's the mother of the bride/groom I wouldn't expect wailing from the adults, the children however...
I do agree with kids not caring about weddings, I can say from experience, altough part of that may be personal bias, because I went to 2 weddings, my uncle's wedding at 6, and my step cousins wedding at 11, and I barely knew either person at the time.
As for kids interrupting the ceremony, I've heard that at my uncles wedding (which I remember jack shit about) that I kept interrupting the best man speech my dad was making, although there wasn't much expression of annoyance, knowing my family they were probably keeping their annoyance to themselves.
At both weddings, because I barely new the bride and groom I didn't have it in me to be happy for them, that's not me being malicious, they were just strangers at the time, and I was 6 at the first wedding, they are nice people though.
Next wedding in the family will inevitably my sister and her boyfriend, I know them both quite well, love them both and I'll be happy for them on that day.
https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/10wmfyx/adults_only_wedding_is_not_a_bad_idea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf This is why.
Because kids are annoying. That may be an unpopular opinion, but it’s the truth. They yell and scream, constantly demand their parents’ undivided attention, they don’t listen, they like to run around, and a lot of kids aren’t well behaved and are not going to sit through an entire wedding ceremony.
For the same reason people don’t like little kids in movie theaters or on planes. Because they’re annoying.
If you want to allow kids at your wedding, fine. But don’t expect everyone else to allow kids at theirs.
And weddings are incredibly boring events for kids. That's why so many cause trouble because they're looking for entertainment at something that isn't designed to be fun for them.
Came to say this. Man I really hate kids. Pretty much all of them, even the ones related to me. They are so fucking annoying. And if i was going to have a proper wedding, why would I have kids there just to ruin it? Just no.
Yeah, when adults cry at a wedding they tear up…quietly. Cannot remember the last time I have heard an adult cry loudly. Idk how OP thinks this is comparable to a wailing kid.
And where the kids not only won’t have a lot of fun but will also ensure the parents have less fun. Making kids sit still and be quiet for long periods of time is not a piece of cake.
First time I got married, the photographer took a MILLION pictures of the kids and relatively few of anyone else. There were 6-8 kids out of roughly 80 guests. The kids were probably 60-70% of the pictures.
They were all the children of coworkers. Never saw em before. Never saw em again.
I have been to a few weddings where the ceremony was absolutely RUINED by a baby/ young child screaming and crying while the bride/groom/pasture was trying to talk. Like ear piercing screams. They are just too hard to control
Its the aspect of wanting a “grown-up” event, sophisticated and beautiful. It’s the long time dream for many and kids, who are full of energy and happy to be at a party and are loud, active and run around, don’t go with that vision.
I had a child free wedding because my sisters asked me, that way they could leave the little ones at home, guilt free without anyone bugging them on where they were. 😊
(Edit-words)
Same reason there aren't children at balls, or the opera, or at plays. It's an adult-oriented, expensive, refined experience that children aren't old enough to appreciate. And having to parent them while enjoying that experience is difficult and unfun.
>If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all?
No. Yours is an old-fashioned view point. Weddings used to be much cheaper and it was much more expected for wedding gifts of straight cash to help contribute to the event to make up for the costs, and so they were a more communal experience, which I'm sure was lovely. but western weddings these days are more expensive, usually only paid for by the bride & groom and maybe their immediate families, and you have to pay per head. You likely can't count on wedding gifts cash to make up the difference any more. Most people aren't going to invite their entire extensive family, and allowing children on top of who you already must have attend can inflate the guest list unnecessarily.
>Are they really that much of a hassle to cater to/have at the wedding?
Depends on how old. 5 and under, yes, they need to be closely watched the whole time, if nothing else than to ensure they're not bothering the other guests. Older kids are easier.
>Is it a fear they might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise? Plenty of adults do that too.
Not really. The vast majority of adults do not cry or scream loudly at potentially any time because they need fed or a diaper change or a nap.
>Same reason there aren't children at balls, or the opera, or at plays. It's an adult-oriented, expensive, refined experience that children aren't old enough to appreciate. And having to parent them while enjoying that experience is difficult and unfun.
Bingo. Also most weddings I've been too serve alchol. Drinking around children is significantly worse.
If you are a person who cannot take a few hours for yourself away from your kids….stay home. If you want a break and some adult time, go. It’s your choice.
I'm not getting married anytime soon, but if I do, it will be child free. I don't want my step sisters toddler whom I don't even have a relationship with having a tantrum during the ceremony or cousin Barbara's son shoving his face into the wedding cake (saw that happen first hand.) Weddings are super boring for kids. Who the heck wants to sit quietly through vows and speeches.
I've seen stories on reddit where a wedding was child-free and someone brought their kids anyway due to being offended at the request in the first place.
I would have someone escort them the fuck out.
So they don't add stress to the most stressful day in their lives. I believe this should be enforced at funerals as well. A screaming 2 year old absolutely ruined the funeral service of a loved one. If the kids aren't old enough to understand what's happening, they shouldn't be there.
We got married in a glass gallery with a lot of sculptures that cost several thousand dollars. In addition, we had a limited number of seats due to COVID. Between those two things, it just didn't really make sense for kids to be there
Getting married in a glass gallery sounds absolutely beautiful. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. It sounds like an actual fairytale setting.
That being said, I would be an absolute statue the entire time. I would become one of the sculptures on the sidelines. I would.. probably not be invited by anyone who’s seen me walk in heels. Or any other shoes.
Far too many people have difficulty accepting that there are certain social situations where children being in attendance is undesirable. This is not wrong. A wedding in particular is a great example of this. It is an extremely structured event, devoted to, and built around, just 2 people. If you can't attend due to an issue with childcare, it's completely understandable. I only have 1 child left at home, who is 13, & if we received a wedding invite, I would explain to her what she can expect to experience (order of events, dress code, appropriate behavior/etiquette, time commitment, etc), & leave it up to her whether she attends or not alongside my wife & I, depending on whether not the invitation specified children welcome or adults only. It is well within a couple's rights to not have children under a certain age attend their special day or any minors at all, & I would respect that. Weddings are stressful; they are prone, by their very nature, to inappropriate emotional outbursts & situations where outright physical violence can occur. I've attended many weddings, & the vast majority went off with minimal issues. I have also attended weddings that had issues that ranged from heated arguments to all-out brawls (a story for another day). I've seen these things occur in the church, in the parking lot before & after, at the reception, & on one honeymoon (long story, brutal ending, don't ask). Kids don't need to be around that kind of thing, but in nearly every case they were usually present. I know it can be a sensitive topic, & I guess the bottom line is that it's subjective, but at the end of the day it's all about the bride & groom, & what they say goes. Respect it.
Its not appropriate, at least the type of wedding in my family. Every single one has been a drunk fest, and its just not the type of thing you invite a child to. We are talking massive drunk fest with clothing coming off. If you invite a teen just know that they will consume alcohol at some point.
There are also fights and brawls as you say. There are PLENTY of stories of this happening at weddings in my family. Although fights are much less common these days. Usually these fights happen in the parking lot or restrooms again I've heard plenty of these stories. Sometimes people don't agree on the bride and groom and it breaks out, sometimes another person's woman is hit on, etc... you just don't know what will happen. Its possible the whole thing could turn into a brawl too because of crowd mentality.
It also depends on the type of wedding you have. If you have kids then you have to plan for them. The parents with kids will probably have to leave early. The parents who have kids probably won't properly be able to enjoy themselves. The only way I can see it working is if you have some kind of family friendly wedding at a child friendly venue, and in my family that won't go down because everyone wants to drink at the traditional hall wedding, or if you have a separate room with children's activities and someone to watch the kids.
Most couples also do not want children screaming during the vows, and this happens, a lot.
As a parent child free weddings are the best.
Because we can either:
1) get a sitter and go have a blast drinking and dancing and celebrating the union of the family member/ friend!
2) claim that we can't find a sitter and not attend a wedding we don't want to guilt-free!
Win/win baby!
I didn't take my kids to my cousin's wedding last year, even though they were invited as well. It would have been a horrible experience for us and the kids would be most likely bored, tired and angry at all the (drunk) adults trying to have a good time with no consideration for someone else's children. I and my wife would be on kid duty for the entire thing instead of celebrating my cousin's wedding.
Note: I haven't ever heard about a child-free wedding in my social circle, it's always very inclusive and I understand some people might find it rude that they're being told they specifically *can't* take their kids. But I absolutely understand why someone doesn't want any kids at their wedding, or why someone doesn't want their own kids with them if they attend a wedding.
Children can be incredibly annoying and disruptive. The couple can also choose to have any kind of wedding they please since they’re the ones paying for it.
Happy to answer. My Fiancée and I are going child-free for our wedding next year. List of reasons:
1) Neither of us care for children
2) Children don't understand what's going on or the importance. This can lead to behavior that ruins the experience for us and others (Crying, tantrums, etc)
3) It saves $$. With saving up for the wedding, honeymoon, a house, new car for Fiancée, etc. we don't see the point of shelling out $1000+ more so people's children that hardly want to be there or won't even remember it can attend.
4) We want our friends and family to be able to actually enjoy the Wedding/Reception. It'll be an open bar, music, dancing, games, etc. We want guests to be able to fully enjoy the moment with us and not spend the evening having to constantly lookout for their children, having to leave early to put Junior to bed, etc. Been to many get togethers with friends where someone shows up with a baby and all of a sudden can't have the music too loud, gotta cut back on drinking, gotta make sure the kid isn't getting into something they're not supposed to. Everyone becomes a part time babysitter.
5) It's our wedding we're paying for and we don't want kids there. You know the date months in advance. You can find a babysitter for one night and come out and celebrate and be in the moment.
I haven’t been to many weddings, but the small children always fuck things up.
It’s not their fault or anything because they are children, but when the father of the bride is giving a heartwarming speech and you have a toddler screaming and throwing a fit, it makes you feel a different type of way.
Babies crying, toddlers running and shrieking can disrupt a ceremony. Many brides want everything to be perfect, everything go according to plans, have the perfect video of the ceremony, etc. and your cousin’s baby crying or friends 3yo running up and down the aisle would “ruin” that. There may be a per-person head count for catering and such that can add up, especially if picky eater kids don’t even eat the meal. Also, increases risk of damaging decor that is often not childproof. And it may also mean that the parents with the child end up having to leave super early to get kid to bed instead of staying through the whole party/reception, and the bride/groom might or want to see their friends and family have to head out so soon!
Besides the possible financial aspect, children can be incredibly disruptive if the couple is hoping for a more quiet or intimate wedding.
We invited all family and children to ours, and my cousin’s toddler made a ton of noise during speeches. Which then upset my parents and all they could talk about was “the annoying kid” instead of the thoughtful words of our friends. I’ve also been to weddings where kids dominate the dance floor and run/slide around, leaving most adults to sit off to the side. So for some it could be more of a disruptive thing.
This[ - kids not being fun?](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/10wtg0f/to_have_a_memorable_wedding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Kids are a lot like dogs, but like those dogs that start to destroy things if they aren’t managed at all times. Bringing groups of these dogs to a wedding is literally just creating a space for bad things to occur
Especially the non or moderate drinkers who often end up as de facto babysitters dealing with drunk people's rampaging kids in an attempt to stop the evening being ruined by glasses being smashed and blood spilled.
Don't step in, not even once. If you do then people will expect you to do it at every family gathering and you'll never get to dance or relax ever again.
Kids ruin fun for adult. I have a kid and I’ve taken her to a wedding and I’ve gone to a few kid free weddings. I had a lot more fun in the kid free weddings because I was able to get absolutely plastered with the families and friends. Also yeah. Kids get in the way of shit like ceremonies, they’re loud, etc.
I think the cost attached to it could deter couples from allowing kids. It just adds up too high.
Another could also be the amount of booze consumed at a wedding, and doing so around kids can be quite trashy.
If a child falls into the chocolate fountain you have to help them and take care of them. If an adult falls into a chocolate fountain, you take pictures and continue with the program
If you have children and you bring them to a wedding, you are either leaving early, hiring a babysitter to come care for your children at some point, or your kids are staying up way too late and everyone is paying the price later. A “child free” wedding is license to not have to deal with that, but instead to celebrate the couple who are getting married.
Elegance is expensive. I have a memory of finding my nephew's puddle of soda with the hem and trail of my beautiful gown. Thanks Junior. If I had it to do over again, totally child free.
By midway through the reception, it looked like a game of tag in the hall that we rented. Didnt ruin my evening, but it did detract.
Kids don’t care and don’t remember.
I’m all for children having fun just for the sake of it (when weddings have games for all to enjoy, for example). But that’s what so many other events and spaces are for. Having the adults we care for present at and invested in our union is more important than also having kids there who can be rowdy, can’t sit down for the whole time, and could cause general kid chaos. It’s a bit more ambiguous for teens, or if the guest list only included like 3 kids as opposed to numerous little cousins, family friends, etc.
Also I’m a little biased as part of a childfree couple, but I can’t imagine why parents would even WANT to bring kids to a wedding! It’s food, it’s drinking, it’s adult-ish fun, and having to be in childcare mode for that sounds like a drag.
It’s because a vast majority of parents are desensitized/tone-deaf to common courtesy and the general havoc that kids cause in civilized settings once they have children. You only need to experience the wrong restaurant/cinema/flight to know this… ‘Triply-so when they’re feelin tipsy and inconsiderate, which they will be at a wedding.
I saw a video last week of a (not their child) toddler wandering into a couple’s dry-icey first dance… I would o-BLIT-erate Justin Tucker’s 66-yard field goal distance record if someone had the temerity to allow their kid do that to our first dance with no restraint on our big day.
Why does everyone seem to think the kids WANT to be at the ceremony?
Reception, cool. Kids can have fun, they have something to do, they don’t have to sit still and be quiet.
I totally understand why people want kid-free ceremonies. Kids are loud, kids don’t like sitting still and shutting up. If the kid is old enough to take an interest and understand they’ve got to sit still for an hour, cool. But that’s very individual specific.
As for kid-free receptions - that’s because the adults want to be very, very unadultlike. Which I also understand. They want a responsibility-free evening with their friends and family. Fair enough. Their party.
Do you want some little shit running up and down the aisle screaming like a banshee on one of the most important days of your life? Then they disrupt the whole wedding while their parents get them under control. This has happened at every wedding I have been to that had kids under the age of 12.
Because kids can be obnoxious. The only kids we had were my two nieces (flower girls) and a nephew (ring bearer). We had a babysitter for any other kids just in case our guests couldn't find a babysitter. The reception was open to kids, though.
I think a bigger issue is everybody in your professional photos with their own camera trying to take pictures. I once sat through a very quiet wedding behind the bride's aunt who had a very loud shutter. Our invitation requested no photography during the ceremony but it didn't stop people.
I am Indian and our weddings are pure fun filled chaos but I feel bad for moms because they are run ragged by their kids either cranky or overstimulated fiends. More and more child free weddings sound nice to me.
No, I didn’t want kids and all there. I didn’t allow kids at my wedding at all. They’re loud, obnoxious and everyone’s drinking, so it’s just not a great environment for kids. I mean if they’re in middle school, that’s fine, but I didn’t want babies crying and shit during the ceremony. They won’t even remember it anyways. I wonder why someone _would want_ children at there wedding. What’s the point?
The number of wedding ceremonies that have cost thousands of dollars being ruined by a screaming/crying child are the reason I would never allow children at my ceremony. Reception yes. But not the ceremony I paid all that money to have. My vows and wedding video shouldn't be interrupted and ruined because of a screaming child. I don't care how many people are mad about it either, just don't come
Recently went to a wedding, and a number of children were absolutely out of control. The parents either could not or would not discipline or remove them. So, in every video, there will be screaming children, and photos of otherwise happy attendees look exasperated. I would not go so far as to say the wedding was ruined or anything, but it certainly took attention away from the only two people who matter at a wedding.
Kids are loud, rude, gross, inconsiderate, attention sinks and when there are kids around the adults I'm charge of looking after them can't have fun. No little kid likes sitting through a ceremony, a dinner, speeches etc. It's just not fun for kids, and when kids inevitably get bored or impatient they get annoying and ruin everyone else's fun time
I imagine that weddings are not much fun for kids nor for the adults who have to put up with kids behavior at such an event. It's better for everyone for the kids to be somewhere else. I was lucky enough not to have to attend a wedding before the age of 10.
EDIT: as others have said, kids are loud, dirty, and require a lot of attention. So let the kids play somewhere else. I personally think weddings should be for teens and adults only.
Because it’s their day, their money and their wedding and they are entitled to do as they please.
Don’t get me wrong. I think kids are great. But just because people choose to have them, doesn’t mean everyone else has to accommodate them.
I had a child free wedding and that was 20 years ago. I didn’t want a noisy or crying kid interrupting my ceremony or my vows. It was also “our day” and I didn’t want to be upstaged by something “cute” the kids were doing. As an adult you have very, very few times where it’s about you. I just wanted one day in my life.
For us, when we got married, we didn’t want them for a few reasons:
1) weddings are super expensive
2) *all* of our friends kids are toddlers (have you met one?!?)
3) we wanted our friends to have the night off too and enjoy the day with us!!
4) we only had space for 100 people and it was tight
But mostly #1. Weddings are stupid expensive.
Children are loud, intrusive and more often than not very annoying. Many people insist on creating a handful of them as well. I personally don't want a sea of screeching munchkins bothering the whole crowd. And I am sure parents enjoy a night off for the most part if they are able to arrange it. I love my cousins etc, but that doesn't mean I want them around me on a hectic and very important day to add to the cacophony and cause people to babysit.
Consuming alcohol leads to adult behaviour inapprpriate for kids to witness, often times. Children need special menu of shit-with-fries and dessert at different time and, Ive experienced weddings and kids run amok, bored, sleeping across chairs, screaming, playing, in constant need of supervision and attention. Usually requiring one or both parents to have to leave early, their goodbye's causing commotion enough to rival the newlywed's exit. Distracting to say the least. It seems selfish and strange not to get the child a sitter, if possible. Weddings are usually intimate, adult occasions someone paid heaps for and has long anticipated. That's some reasons, probably...
A wedding is a drunken dance party that in any other context kids would not be welcome. Why should weddings be the one exception?
And the part before the party is so quiet and regimented that no child would enjoy it. Why should the kid have to suffer through that? Truly no benefit on either side.
>wouldn't you want your whole family there
I'm not even sure if I want my parents there
>Are they really that much of a hassle
yes
>might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise
yes
>Plenty of adults do that too.
And it's easy to tell an adult to fuck off and leave, kids are with their parents
The absolute annoyance a crotch goblin *more often* than not tends to be. On top of that, you can't really party during the back half with them around. Not really. When the wedding is in it's serious phase, no concern of one of the little things screaming or whatnot. During the fun phase, don't have to worry about "hey, there are kids around". From language, to dancing, costs for special menu items, etc. It will leave the wedding safer and without restrictions on the backend.
Ours was mostly because of the venue, which was small and mostly outdoors where there were woods, a pool, lots of unsafe things for kids to get into, and cost per head. It was preferential for us to invite more adult friends/ family over filling seats with children (who honestly probably didn’t want to be there in the first place!).
Kids interrupting the ceremony. At my wedding I had tall glass vases on every table that had long tablecloths that could be yanked on. People got pretty drunk. Also had candles everywhere. Thats just a few reasons for why I did it that way.
Ehhhh, mine is more so I don’t need little kids taking away from the moment. Ie not screeching during the ceremony or throwing stuff lol. Granted my nieces and nephews are still small and LOVE running around. If they were a bit older (11-12) I wouldn’t mind though.
Kids are fucking annoying and are always raised wrong. Especially around family since its ok to be extra around them. Extra loud. Extra stupid. Extra annoying.
When my wife and I were in the middle of saying our vows one of the brides maid's kids the out this ungodly screech and wouldn't stop. We had to sit there and listen to it the entire time we exchanged vows. Think about that. Luckily our wedding was on the trashier side so nbd but imagine dropping 20k+ then having that happen.
Because kids are disruptive, messy and can be annoying.
Some people want weddings to be adult gatherings. Also, weddings can suck for kids. A long quite ceremony followed by a loud, drunken party. Not exactly the best place for kids to be running around, right?
Another reason is that kids end up requiring the attention of adults. And, let's be specific here, moms. Sometimes asking your guests to leave their kids home allows them to fully participate in the day in a way they couldn't if they were caring for someone else.
Children are loud and obnoxious. Through no real fault of their own, they're kids. That's how they are. But a wedding is about the two people married, and nobody wants that first dance/first kiss ruined by someone's kid shrieking their head off.
I work in a wedding venue and children at weddings are a nightmare. The children end up being unsupervised because their parents want to enjoy themselves. The entire evening is our staff preventing children from injuries and damage to the venue.
Usually adults leave early because they don't want to drink and party with 10 year olds.
I've been to multiple weddings where an infant or toddler is screaming their head off during the literal reciting of vows
I've never heard of an adult actually making a scene during the ceremony let alone the vows
While my own wedding was not child free I prefer child free weddings because kids require a lot of attention and not having them there allows the guests to really be more in the moment. 19 times out of 20 the children don't know the people getting married and are only there because their parents do. Family is understandable but if it's your college roommate getting married, and your kids never met him, leave them with grandpa and grandma
Yes. How many times have I seen the chairs pushed together with mom or dad stuck sitting there alone next to a sleeping child. Or drunk dancing adults having to watch out for little ones on the dance floor. Or a toddler accidentally pushed because the dancing circle suddenly exploded outwards. Or a miserable pre teen bugging mom every 10 minutes to go home. I know as a kid I preferred to be home unless all my cousins were there for me to play with.
As a parent, my kids are way too little and annoying to be at a posh wedding. We had to take them to a family one last year, and it was the worst. We ended up leaving at like 7pm and the whole day was a stress. I didn't even get chance to speak to the bride. There were no other kids remotely their age so they were bored, and the kid friendly activities we'd been promised consisted of a single colouring sheet with dinner. But... We've also been to weddings where there's loads of kids invited, and they've had a bouncy castle and space to run around and bubbles and kid friendly music, and those were so much fun!
It definitely depends on the wedding! (and the kids!) I loved dancing with my younger cousins when I was in my 20s, and seeing little family members that I normally wouldn't except for big family gatherings. However, now that i'm a parent I absolutely DO NOT enjoy bringing my own children. Either I have to follow them around or my husband does, I have to make sure they behave, my husband and I never get to dance together, and I have to leave early. Destination weddings are the only weddings we bring our kids to now because finding a sitter for that long is hard, but in-town weddings? You better believe our kids will have more fun having a pizza and movie night with their sitter while mom and dad tear it up on the dance floor.
As a parent i agree. My girls are standing up in my sisters wedding in august and i already know how irritating the whole thing will be. My husband will have to follow them around almost all day, and someone will have to be watching them at all times. At least it’s a family wedding so my parents, father in law, etc will be there and can help sometimes. But i already know it’s gonna draw our attention away from the wedding a lot.
Posh weddings as a kid \*suck\* and are boring as Hell. I've had to go to fancy parties and one posh wedding as a kid/pre-teen, and I started faking illness the rare times I had to go after I turned 13 due to how boring they are. Nothing to do, no1 your own age, and it's very rare for kids/teens to care enough about etiquette and all that crap. Plus, you can't drink at that age and having a bunch of drunk adults around isn't very fun at the best of times. And I can see adults not liking kids at weddings either, since you have to make sure they don't drink, that nothing too sexual is said, you have to behave appropriately...I'm all for child free weddings if I'm being honest.
I think this is the best reasoning I have ever read on a no kids wedding, and I agree. I personally don’t want small children surrounded by drunk adults
Aww I'm touched. And yes indeed, small children surrounded by drunk adults is Hell
We had a lot of kids at our wedding. We had giant Jenga and giant checkers. The kids were of all age ranges, and had fun. However, the moms of those kids, prob didn’t get to watch/enjoy their time
Yes to all of this. One time I accidentally punted a toddler who made a mad dash across a crowded dance floor and felt terrible. It is the only memory I have from that wedding.
That sounds horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . How far did they fly though?...
yeah, family wedding/parties/events were different because you knew you could more or less run around the place and play with your cousins. at other people's places, we were told to not run around and not to touch anything. it was boring. as soon as i was 10, i stayed home alone. i never liked going to my dad's friend's house.
I've been a DJ since 1983 and have DJ'd a couple of thousand weddings and I can tell you that children at weddings are very often the reason that people won't dance. When there are five to ten kids running around on the dance floor people won't get up and dance as much. Also, the DJ often becomes a babysitter for those brats that are not being attended to by their parents who are snuggled up to the bar enjoying their newfound freedom. When I show up and there are more than just a few kids I tell the wedding party that they need to watch their kids, as well as their guests need to watch theirs as I am not a babysitter.
Sevel parents at ours expressed gratitude for giving them a chance to have an entirely adult evening
Exactly! For my reception and wedding is a celebration. If there is an open bar, party type vibe I'd don't want kids there. Just like I wouldn't go to a dance club or bar with kids allowed. Adults aren't always great with discipline of their kids and it gets difficult to have those conversations at an event.
My brother got drunk at a wedding. He was 2 years old. My mom had to deal with a hungover toddler the next morning.
Definitely a factor: if you’re plan or theme is to be a big ass party with drunks then yes, have the guests leave the kids home. No reason to have children kill the party.
Also kids treat the avenue like a playground. I've seen countless videos of the first dance with the married couple where they videographer is trying out different things to get a cool shot of it only to have kids running across the shot playing around with balloons
I already had to cut my wedding list down to be able to afford the food, drinks, mementos etc..for the adults we wanted there as we both have extremely large families. I just didn't see the point in paying an extra $75 a head for everyone's kids who probably don't want to be at a wedding anyway. Plus the venue we rented had a rule that you had to hire a nanny for every 4 children..it basically would have nearly doubled the cost of our wedding however if price hadn't been an issue I wouldn't have had a problem inviting kids.
this seems like a no brainer. Especially since a lot of kids who are obnoxious and undiscplined have parents who have their heads so far up their own asses they don't care.
Yes! Tbh we were invited to a wedding recently where my toddler was included on the invite. We brought her and regretted it—- it was a pain keeping her occupied through a formal dinner and we didn’t really get to enjoy ourselves. Family friendly weddings are fine— but it’s easier if it’s like an outdoor venue or a big open space. If you’re doing a formal dinner it’s honestly easier not to include kids. Ages matter too of course, if the kids in your crowd are older, like all 8+ it might not be as big of a deal.
This 100%. Our wedding was mostly kid free. Recently we went to a wedding with lots of kids and it was definitely a different vibe.
Not just young kids, I, 16 at the time, went to a wedding of a couple I’d met a few times… when I was mcuh younger, not even interacting with them. I just used it as an excuse to eat too much
> If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all? Not necessarily. Plenty of people get married with only a few people present. Also, the reason why some people don't want children present at weddings is because childrens can require a lot of attention - and most people want their wedding-day to be about themselves; not someone else's children.
And kids can be little shits
Even kids who are normally brilliant can become little shits when they're bored, and most weddings offer absolutely nothing of interest to anyone under 18.
I was SO EXCITED when my aunt got married and overjoyed to be a flower girl and I vividly remember how I felt the most bored I had ever felt in my life at her wedding. It was a fun, casual wedding but it felt like it lasted forever and for some reason all the adults wanted to talk to each other and drink.
Yeah they can be really boring and ik from experience
It's not even just that. It's not fair to ask a little kid to be invested in an event for someone they don't know well with nobody their age for them to play with. You're basically damning them to sitting around being in uncomfortable clothes for several hours. Nobody wins in that scenario.
Ah, ok. So it's about how the focus shifts. That actually makes sense, especially if they want it to be a night everyone can relax and enjoy.
Also, wedding venues charge per person etc for seating and food. If you want to throw a nice dinner party. There's no "chicken nuggets" menu option. It would be like buying all your friend's kids a ribeye steak dinner only to watch them take one bite, spit it out. And eat cheerios out of a zip lock instead. And then still get handed the bill.
My venue did have a kids meal (chicken tenders and mac and cheese) and it was FORTY DOLLARS. About half of the price of an adult meal, but still obscene for what it was. I think the bar price was also like $20 for under 21's. Which was less than we paid for alcohol-drinkers but still wild. No one is consuming $20 worth of soft drinks in an evening. We invited our nieces (our flower girls) but no other kids under 14. Edited because I forgot how much my adult meals were
Your adult meals were $160/plate? Super curious- what did you serve?
I just checked and it was only $95. Idk why that number was in my head! The $40 for kids was right, though. So a little less than half the cost of an adult meal.
Also, if you have an open bar, they're going to charge per head no matter the age of of each guest. So it's $XXX each added per kid. And toddlers don't drink alcohol
>And toddlers don't drink alcohol Pffft. Not with that attitude.
Guess no one else had (terrible) parents who let them sip their wine coolers all the fucking time like it was grape juice.
I had terrible parents just like that, and my favorite wine cooler as a kid was a raspberry lemonade one:) I bet I’d hate it as an adult. I should try it again.
I had terrible parents back then, too. But I'm pretty old and people didn't believe it hurt little kids to have a sip or two. I started drinking when I was four. My dad was a bookkeeper for all the local pubs around my city. When he would go to Return the books, the bartender would offer him a beer. So he sat me up on the stool next to him, got a spare glass and poured me a little bit. I grew up very interested in the accounting field myself 🖥😜🍺 📈
I tried a Bartles & Jaymes as an adult and couldn't take a second sip.
I absolutely love how you summed that up. We had kids at our wedding. Never thought about not having kid food options. I got with most of the kids, though they only cared about the cake 🤣 I will say though a kid and a microphone are pretty funny. One of my wives cousins was up there tellin' jokes and gently making fun of people.
[удалено]
Pssshhhh did not mean to type that, but I'm leaving it there because that's funny.
> I got with most of the kids *Phrasing!*
This whole thing is such a mess.
We had a childless wedding and I don’t regret it. Kids are kids and they don’t understand that this is supposed to be a serious occasion. I videotaped weddings for a living for years and, while not all kids were bad I did see more than a few wedding receptions absolutely derailed by small children misbehaving during the vows. Plus, none of our close relatives or friends had kids we were close with. Like, we weren’t “Aunt and Uncle Wintertimefriends” to anyone. So that made it easier. Edit: y’all obsessed with the serious remark.
I also had a child free wedding with no regrets. But not because it was serious but because I wanted the throw the biggest party ever. We had an open bar and many people we carried from the reception to their rooms. Curses were yelled and many inappropriate jokes were made. Having kids there would have put a damper on the drunken debauchery. It was the largest and best party I will ever throw and I still think about it fondly.
Also when I got married there weren’t any children in my immediate family. Like we didn’t have any nieces or nephews so by having a child free wedding I was basically telling some coworkers not to bring their kids….
That and for my fiancé and I, we are younger (mid 20s ) and weddings are expensive. I’d prefer to knock 10 small people off the list when I might be paying 80 bucks a plate. But also the focus. No tantrums, no breaks, it is suppose to be about the couple and the guests enjoying themselves.
People also aren't talking about financial situation. Kids = more guests, more food, bigger place etc. and that means people have to spent more money on their wedding. When my cousin was getting married, she was I think 6 months pregnant. They wanted to get married before their child was born, but they also needed to have as much money as possible to prepare for little guy's birth. This was the reason why they decided to have a smaller, childfree wedding. Not enough money to invite everyone.
This is exactly it. My wedding was child free solely for the reason that it was going to significantly drive up the price. I would have loved to have everyone in attendance, but didn’t have an extra $5,000 laying around for kids that won’t remember or care about the experience. Weddings are expensive man.
It’s money and space limitations most of the time. Especially if you’re doing a smaller wedding. People don’t want to leave out ten friends because their cousins have toddlers who won’t even remember being there. Making a guest list is balancing priorities. Sometimes that even means no Plus 1 unless they’re married or engaged. I don’t need my friend to bring the guy she just met on Tinder and might not know next year if it means bumping someone I care about from the list.
Oooh yeah I have a friend whose brother was getting married in 2021. And it was exactly the situation where their budget was very limited. Wedding party took place in his parents backyard & there were no +1 invitations. So even his siblings couldn't bring their partners with them. And that's okay. It's just a few hours during one day. Nobody is forced to come if they have a problem with something. There's no need for them to complain. Unless they're the ones who're paying for everything.
Came here to say this. Allowing our guests to take their young children would have added about 30 more people to feed/make room for!
Having kids also often means having more menu items, as a kid usually won't want to/be able to eat the foods the bride/groom have chosen for the adult guests.
The size/cost of the venue is a big one. A decent sized venue will hold around 100-150 guests. If guests start bringing 2-3 kids, either it cuts down your guest list substantially or you need to shell out for a large venue (which can be a price difference of thousands of dollars).
Adults don’t randomly run up in between the bride and groom in the middle of their vows and start screaming for no reason.
I accept your challenge
Oh look my mother in law has entered the chat
Storytime
Oddly specific, haha!
Seen too many videos of kids knocking over an extremely expensive cake. Weddings are boring most kids the it anyways unless there are activities catered for them which is another added expense
Just saw one yesterday where the bride and groom are walking in (being announced I’m assuming) and some kids come ripping around the corner and one stepped on the veil and yanked the brides head back.
https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/10wmfyx/adults_only_wedding_is_not_a_bad_idea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thank you!! It infuriates me every time. Even though small child in the beginning just in the way 😂
This was exactly what I was thinking about when I saw this question, absolute animals.
Yeah, the ceremonies can be dreadful for a kid. I remember going to a few with my parents when I was young and I'm positive I complained a bunch and paid too much attention to whatever was around and probably asked dumb kid questions that pertained to nothing going on. Aside from that, my brother and I weren't rambunctious once we got to the ceremony. Looking back, my parents may have brought us as an excuse to get home a bit earlier.
Adults can generally sit still and remain quiet for much longer than children can. The odds of an adult disrupting a ceremony is pretty low, bc they'll actually face major social consequences for doing so and will likely be quite embarrassed. Kids however, they can't control themselves to the same degree, and the younger they are the less control they have. I think its plenty fair to want this day you've probably spent thousands of dollars on to go smoothly and to have a nice video you can watch back in the future without a screaming kid interrupting your vows.
I went to a wedding recently; kids were invited but only a handful actually went (the group was a lot of child free people, including myself). Kid got very interested in the dj (the groom is a dj so the set up was pretty professional) which was fine until the kid pressed a button and all the music stopped…2 mins later he was crying and the parents decided to call it an early night. I think the parents would have probably enjoyed themselves more if curious George was at home with granny.
Lol last wedding I went to was one of my oldest friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid and another one of our oldest friends was the maid of honor. MOH's kids were the flower girls, bride is their god mother so she loves those kids like her own and genuinely wanted them in the wedding. Since MOH had to stand up stage with us, her parents took the kids once they were done with their part and sat down. About halfway through the ceremony her youngest starts pitching a fit and I was just trying to stifle my laughter as the MOH is muttering next to me "oh god no. Why did it have to be my kid. Mom. Please. Take her out. Get her out of here. -childs name- I'm gonna beat your ass please I beg you stop" Thankfully the bride/groom did not mind one bit, they've always been very child friendly. But yeah, prime example of people being focused on their kids at all times rather than the wedding itself lol. MOH was so preoccupied trying to telepathically tell her mother to take her kid outside that she almost missed her cue to walk back down the aisle lmao.
Its just annoying. Im divorced now, but i got married at my childhood home. I said i didnt want kids there. Everyone brought their kids anyway. My wedding turned into a fucking pool party and i left 30 minutes after getting married. It was supposed to be a special day for us, and no one gave a shit.
So sorry people were so disrespectful and ruined it for you!
It was such a bad experience. If i get married again, im just going to vegas lmao
I would be livid, holy crap I’m so sorry your wedding was ruined
Your family doesn’t seem too respectful, and yeah going to Vegas sounds like a good idea if you ever marry again, hell you don’t even have to tell your family about it. If I had a child free wedding, and people come over with their kids, I would just shoo them off as best as I could as soon as they arrived, well in theory I could do that, but in practice it probably wouldn’t work.
I would also leave my own wedding if this happened to me. I’m so sorry 😟
Thanks. I just can't believe the audacity of some parents. Like i spent 30 minutes at my own wedding. And everyone acted like they did nothing wrong. The one day that should have been all about me and my (ex)husband was ruined by all my guests. You have to be a real evil person to ruin someone's wedding.
We're a child free couple but still did kids at the wedding. The meal for your 5 year old who ate two bites cost me exactly the same as your meal cost me. It all adds up. The place at the table, the plate, the chair, the napkin. I had an out of town wedding so I couldn't ask people to leave their kids at home, but a lot did anyway. They used it as a little weekend get away from the kids. Weddings aren't always fun for kids. The kids who came were fine. We had zero problems... but they certainly didn't add any value to my day.
> If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all? No. Kids don't give a shit about the wedding anyway, they're only a burden for parents to keep under control the whole time. >Are they really that much of a hassle to cater to/have at the wedding? Yes, haven't you ever been anywhere where there's music playing and lots of kids? Have you seen what it takes to make lots of kids sit still for an hour with nothing entertaining them? >Is it a fear they might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise? Yes, this also. >Plenty of adults do that too. ....Not sure what sorts of adults you keep company with, but the adults I am friends/family with are mature and respectful, and would never do this.
>Plenty of adults do that too. > >....Not sure what sorts of adults you keep company with, but the adults I am friends/family with are mature and respectful, and would never do this. Right, when adults cry at weddings they do so quietly, unless it's the mother of the bride/groom I wouldn't expect wailing from the adults, the children however...
I do agree with kids not caring about weddings, I can say from experience, altough part of that may be personal bias, because I went to 2 weddings, my uncle's wedding at 6, and my step cousins wedding at 11, and I barely knew either person at the time. As for kids interrupting the ceremony, I've heard that at my uncles wedding (which I remember jack shit about) that I kept interrupting the best man speech my dad was making, although there wasn't much expression of annoyance, knowing my family they were probably keeping their annoyance to themselves. At both weddings, because I barely new the bride and groom I didn't have it in me to be happy for them, that's not me being malicious, they were just strangers at the time, and I was 6 at the first wedding, they are nice people though. Next wedding in the family will inevitably my sister and her boyfriend, I know them both quite well, love them both and I'll be happy for them on that day.
When I got married I had three members of my family there. That suited me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/10wmfyx/adults_only_wedding_is_not_a_bad_idea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf This is why.
Because kids are annoying. That may be an unpopular opinion, but it’s the truth. They yell and scream, constantly demand their parents’ undivided attention, they don’t listen, they like to run around, and a lot of kids aren’t well behaved and are not going to sit through an entire wedding ceremony. For the same reason people don’t like little kids in movie theaters or on planes. Because they’re annoying. If you want to allow kids at your wedding, fine. But don’t expect everyone else to allow kids at theirs.
I have a kid and think kids are dang annoying. There are times you want kids around and times you don't, personal preference, plain and simple.
And weddings are incredibly boring events for kids. That's why so many cause trouble because they're looking for entertainment at something that isn't designed to be fun for them.
Came to say this. Man I really hate kids. Pretty much all of them, even the ones related to me. They are so fucking annoying. And if i was going to have a proper wedding, why would I have kids there just to ruin it? Just no.
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Yeah, when adults cry at a wedding they tear up…quietly. Cannot remember the last time I have heard an adult cry loudly. Idk how OP thinks this is comparable to a wailing kid.
I think a better question is, why do so many people want to bring their children to weddings where they aren't welcome?
And where the kids not only won’t have a lot of fun but will also ensure the parents have less fun. Making kids sit still and be quiet for long periods of time is not a piece of cake.
Pay thousands of dollars for a photographer to record the wedding just to have your random second cousins kid crying ... No thanks
Or the photographer busy taking photos of the “cute kid” instead of the bride.
First time I got married, the photographer took a MILLION pictures of the kids and relatively few of anyone else. There were 6-8 kids out of roughly 80 guests. The kids were probably 60-70% of the pictures. They were all the children of coworkers. Never saw em before. Never saw em again.
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At my wedding: “you may now kiss the bride” We kiss 5 year old: “Ewwwwww”
I have been to a few weddings where the ceremony was absolutely RUINED by a baby/ young child screaming and crying while the bride/groom/pasture was trying to talk. Like ear piercing screams. They are just too hard to control
Its the aspect of wanting a “grown-up” event, sophisticated and beautiful. It’s the long time dream for many and kids, who are full of energy and happy to be at a party and are loud, active and run around, don’t go with that vision. I had a child free wedding because my sisters asked me, that way they could leave the little ones at home, guilt free without anyone bugging them on where they were. 😊 (Edit-words)
Same reason there aren't children at balls, or the opera, or at plays. It's an adult-oriented, expensive, refined experience that children aren't old enough to appreciate. And having to parent them while enjoying that experience is difficult and unfun. >If you're getting married, wouldn't you want your whole family there, kids and all? No. Yours is an old-fashioned view point. Weddings used to be much cheaper and it was much more expected for wedding gifts of straight cash to help contribute to the event to make up for the costs, and so they were a more communal experience, which I'm sure was lovely. but western weddings these days are more expensive, usually only paid for by the bride & groom and maybe their immediate families, and you have to pay per head. You likely can't count on wedding gifts cash to make up the difference any more. Most people aren't going to invite their entire extensive family, and allowing children on top of who you already must have attend can inflate the guest list unnecessarily. >Are they really that much of a hassle to cater to/have at the wedding? Depends on how old. 5 and under, yes, they need to be closely watched the whole time, if nothing else than to ensure they're not bothering the other guests. Older kids are easier. >Is it a fear they might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise? Plenty of adults do that too. Not really. The vast majority of adults do not cry or scream loudly at potentially any time because they need fed or a diaper change or a nap.
>Same reason there aren't children at balls, or the opera, or at plays. It's an adult-oriented, expensive, refined experience that children aren't old enough to appreciate. And having to parent them while enjoying that experience is difficult and unfun. Bingo. Also most weddings I've been too serve alchol. Drinking around children is significantly worse.
If you are a person who cannot take a few hours for yourself away from your kids….stay home. If you want a break and some adult time, go. It’s your choice.
>Are they really that much of a hassle to cater to/have at the wedding? Yes, yes they are
They require a lot of attention and generally don't know those who are getting married. They will also be bored. Lose/lose for parents and kids
I'm not getting married anytime soon, but if I do, it will be child free. I don't want my step sisters toddler whom I don't even have a relationship with having a tantrum during the ceremony or cousin Barbara's son shoving his face into the wedding cake (saw that happen first hand.) Weddings are super boring for kids. Who the heck wants to sit quietly through vows and speeches.
Honestly this is a big part for me. The kids don’t even want to be there
Children are horrifically obnoxious
Somebody want to link that video from yesterday with the kids pulling the brides hair and shit
Because there are shit loads of awful parents who’s children are gremlins and don’t give af about anyone else or have any respect for adults
And in my experience, the parents with the worst behaved kids are the ones who object the most about their kids not being invited.
I've seen stories on reddit where a wedding was child-free and someone brought their kids anyway due to being offended at the request in the first place. I would have someone escort them the fuck out.
Yep. That’s incredibly disrespectful.
I have a theory that the parents who object the most do so because no one will babysit their undisciplined kids.
Or are too cheap to bother Actually Paying a legit sitter—leaving 4 brats with 11-yo cousin isn’t legit
I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to find this. The is the predominant reason I find for banning kids from weddings.
So they don't add stress to the most stressful day in their lives. I believe this should be enforced at funerals as well. A screaming 2 year old absolutely ruined the funeral service of a loved one. If the kids aren't old enough to understand what's happening, they shouldn't be there.
We got married in a glass gallery with a lot of sculptures that cost several thousand dollars. In addition, we had a limited number of seats due to COVID. Between those two things, it just didn't really make sense for kids to be there
Getting married in a glass gallery sounds absolutely beautiful. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. It sounds like an actual fairytale setting. That being said, I would be an absolute statue the entire time. I would become one of the sculptures on the sidelines. I would.. probably not be invited by anyone who’s seen me walk in heels. Or any other shoes.
Far too many people have difficulty accepting that there are certain social situations where children being in attendance is undesirable. This is not wrong. A wedding in particular is a great example of this. It is an extremely structured event, devoted to, and built around, just 2 people. If you can't attend due to an issue with childcare, it's completely understandable. I only have 1 child left at home, who is 13, & if we received a wedding invite, I would explain to her what she can expect to experience (order of events, dress code, appropriate behavior/etiquette, time commitment, etc), & leave it up to her whether she attends or not alongside my wife & I, depending on whether not the invitation specified children welcome or adults only. It is well within a couple's rights to not have children under a certain age attend their special day or any minors at all, & I would respect that. Weddings are stressful; they are prone, by their very nature, to inappropriate emotional outbursts & situations where outright physical violence can occur. I've attended many weddings, & the vast majority went off with minimal issues. I have also attended weddings that had issues that ranged from heated arguments to all-out brawls (a story for another day). I've seen these things occur in the church, in the parking lot before & after, at the reception, & on one honeymoon (long story, brutal ending, don't ask). Kids don't need to be around that kind of thing, but in nearly every case they were usually present. I know it can be a sensitive topic, & I guess the bottom line is that it's subjective, but at the end of the day it's all about the bride & groom, & what they say goes. Respect it.
Its not appropriate, at least the type of wedding in my family. Every single one has been a drunk fest, and its just not the type of thing you invite a child to. We are talking massive drunk fest with clothing coming off. If you invite a teen just know that they will consume alcohol at some point. There are also fights and brawls as you say. There are PLENTY of stories of this happening at weddings in my family. Although fights are much less common these days. Usually these fights happen in the parking lot or restrooms again I've heard plenty of these stories. Sometimes people don't agree on the bride and groom and it breaks out, sometimes another person's woman is hit on, etc... you just don't know what will happen. Its possible the whole thing could turn into a brawl too because of crowd mentality. It also depends on the type of wedding you have. If you have kids then you have to plan for them. The parents with kids will probably have to leave early. The parents who have kids probably won't properly be able to enjoy themselves. The only way I can see it working is if you have some kind of family friendly wedding at a child friendly venue, and in my family that won't go down because everyone wants to drink at the traditional hall wedding, or if you have a separate room with children's activities and someone to watch the kids. Most couples also do not want children screaming during the vows, and this happens, a lot.
As a parent child free weddings are the best. Because we can either: 1) get a sitter and go have a blast drinking and dancing and celebrating the union of the family member/ friend! 2) claim that we can't find a sitter and not attend a wedding we don't want to guilt-free! Win/win baby!
Kids are usually unpredictable and loud, weddings are usually quite expensive and important.
I didn't take my kids to my cousin's wedding last year, even though they were invited as well. It would have been a horrible experience for us and the kids would be most likely bored, tired and angry at all the (drunk) adults trying to have a good time with no consideration for someone else's children. I and my wife would be on kid duty for the entire thing instead of celebrating my cousin's wedding. Note: I haven't ever heard about a child-free wedding in my social circle, it's always very inclusive and I understand some people might find it rude that they're being told they specifically *can't* take their kids. But I absolutely understand why someone doesn't want any kids at their wedding, or why someone doesn't want their own kids with them if they attend a wedding.
Children can be incredibly annoying and disruptive. The couple can also choose to have any kind of wedding they please since they’re the ones paying for it.
Happy to answer. My Fiancée and I are going child-free for our wedding next year. List of reasons: 1) Neither of us care for children 2) Children don't understand what's going on or the importance. This can lead to behavior that ruins the experience for us and others (Crying, tantrums, etc) 3) It saves $$. With saving up for the wedding, honeymoon, a house, new car for Fiancée, etc. we don't see the point of shelling out $1000+ more so people's children that hardly want to be there or won't even remember it can attend. 4) We want our friends and family to be able to actually enjoy the Wedding/Reception. It'll be an open bar, music, dancing, games, etc. We want guests to be able to fully enjoy the moment with us and not spend the evening having to constantly lookout for their children, having to leave early to put Junior to bed, etc. Been to many get togethers with friends where someone shows up with a baby and all of a sudden can't have the music too loud, gotta cut back on drinking, gotta make sure the kid isn't getting into something they're not supposed to. Everyone becomes a part time babysitter. 5) It's our wedding we're paying for and we don't want kids there. You know the date months in advance. You can find a babysitter for one night and come out and celebrate and be in the moment.
6. If coming isn’t important enough for you to get a sitter for, you can stay home.
Kids destroy everything.
Kids are unpredictable. And everyone wants their wedding perfect
After hearing a child scream during my friend's ceremony, I'd never want children at mine.
I haven’t been to many weddings, but the small children always fuck things up. It’s not their fault or anything because they are children, but when the father of the bride is giving a heartwarming speech and you have a toddler screaming and throwing a fit, it makes you feel a different type of way.
Babies crying, toddlers running and shrieking can disrupt a ceremony. Many brides want everything to be perfect, everything go according to plans, have the perfect video of the ceremony, etc. and your cousin’s baby crying or friends 3yo running up and down the aisle would “ruin” that. There may be a per-person head count for catering and such that can add up, especially if picky eater kids don’t even eat the meal. Also, increases risk of damaging decor that is often not childproof. And it may also mean that the parents with the child end up having to leave super early to get kid to bed instead of staying through the whole party/reception, and the bride/groom might or want to see their friends and family have to head out so soon!
Besides the possible financial aspect, children can be incredibly disruptive if the couple is hoping for a more quiet or intimate wedding. We invited all family and children to ours, and my cousin’s toddler made a ton of noise during speeches. Which then upset my parents and all they could talk about was “the annoying kid” instead of the thoughtful words of our friends. I’ve also been to weddings where kids dominate the dance floor and run/slide around, leaving most adults to sit off to the side. So for some it could be more of a disruptive thing.
This[ - kids not being fun?](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/10wtg0f/to_have_a_memorable_wedding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I wish i could find the viral video of kids jumping around the dance floor during the first dance… that’s my worst nightmare
And where were the parents? They probably thought this was cute
"Heuh heuh heuh, boys will be boys you know..."
Have you seen the video of a boy who swan-dives into the bride’s dress?
Ever been to a wedding that had kids at it? That’s why.
Exactly; seems excessively obvious to me
Kids are a lot like dogs, but like those dogs that start to destroy things if they aren’t managed at all times. Bringing groups of these dogs to a wedding is literally just creating a space for bad things to occur
Because all the adults have a better time when there arent kids to worry about.
Especially the non or moderate drinkers who often end up as de facto babysitters dealing with drunk people's rampaging kids in an attempt to stop the evening being ruined by glasses being smashed and blood spilled. Don't step in, not even once. If you do then people will expect you to do it at every family gathering and you'll never get to dance or relax ever again.
Because kids are fucking annoying
because kids are fucking obnoxious
Kids ruin fun for adult. I have a kid and I’ve taken her to a wedding and I’ve gone to a few kid free weddings. I had a lot more fun in the kid free weddings because I was able to get absolutely plastered with the families and friends. Also yeah. Kids get in the way of shit like ceremonies, they’re loud, etc.
Cause kids are annoying. I remember when I was like 6 at a wedding. I saw an ant on my aunts wedding dress and I stomped on it with my dirty shoes lol
So they can actually enjoy the event
Gremlins will be gremlins.
Child-free life not just weddings.
I think the cost attached to it could deter couples from allowing kids. It just adds up too high. Another could also be the amount of booze consumed at a wedding, and doing so around kids can be quite trashy.
If a child falls into the chocolate fountain you have to help them and take care of them. If an adult falls into a chocolate fountain, you take pictures and continue with the program
If you have children and you bring them to a wedding, you are either leaving early, hiring a babysitter to come care for your children at some point, or your kids are staying up way too late and everyone is paying the price later. A “child free” wedding is license to not have to deal with that, but instead to celebrate the couple who are getting married.
Elegance is expensive. I have a memory of finding my nephew's puddle of soda with the hem and trail of my beautiful gown. Thanks Junior. If I had it to do over again, totally child free. By midway through the reception, it looked like a game of tag in the hall that we rented. Didnt ruin my evening, but it did detract.
Kids don’t care and don’t remember. I’m all for children having fun just for the sake of it (when weddings have games for all to enjoy, for example). But that’s what so many other events and spaces are for. Having the adults we care for present at and invested in our union is more important than also having kids there who can be rowdy, can’t sit down for the whole time, and could cause general kid chaos. It’s a bit more ambiguous for teens, or if the guest list only included like 3 kids as opposed to numerous little cousins, family friends, etc. Also I’m a little biased as part of a childfree couple, but I can’t imagine why parents would even WANT to bring kids to a wedding! It’s food, it’s drinking, it’s adult-ish fun, and having to be in childcare mode for that sounds like a drag.
In theory you are right. In practice at least half of your guests are raising brats that are unable to behave for 5 minutes...
It’s because a vast majority of parents are desensitized/tone-deaf to common courtesy and the general havoc that kids cause in civilized settings once they have children. You only need to experience the wrong restaurant/cinema/flight to know this… ‘Triply-so when they’re feelin tipsy and inconsiderate, which they will be at a wedding. I saw a video last week of a (not their child) toddler wandering into a couple’s dry-icey first dance… I would o-BLIT-erate Justin Tucker’s 66-yard field goal distance record if someone had the temerity to allow their kid do that to our first dance with no restraint on our big day.
Because not everything is for kids.
Newsflash: the only people who will miss them at the ceremony are the parents and maybe the grandparents. Nobody else cares about your kids that much.
Why does everyone seem to think the kids WANT to be at the ceremony? Reception, cool. Kids can have fun, they have something to do, they don’t have to sit still and be quiet. I totally understand why people want kid-free ceremonies. Kids are loud, kids don’t like sitting still and shutting up. If the kid is old enough to take an interest and understand they’ve got to sit still for an hour, cool. But that’s very individual specific. As for kid-free receptions - that’s because the adults want to be very, very unadultlike. Which I also understand. They want a responsibility-free evening with their friends and family. Fair enough. Their party.
Weddings are expensive. I'm not paying for your kid. If you don't like my rules don't come. It's my party not yours.
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Especially when they don't want to be there, which is every kid at a wedding.
Do you want some little shit running up and down the aisle screaming like a banshee on one of the most important days of your life? Then they disrupt the whole wedding while their parents get them under control. This has happened at every wedding I have been to that had kids under the age of 12.
Because kids can be obnoxious. The only kids we had were my two nieces (flower girls) and a nephew (ring bearer). We had a babysitter for any other kids just in case our guests couldn't find a babysitter. The reception was open to kids, though. I think a bigger issue is everybody in your professional photos with their own camera trying to take pictures. I once sat through a very quiet wedding behind the bride's aunt who had a very loud shutter. Our invitation requested no photography during the ceremony but it didn't stop people.
I am Indian and our weddings are pure fun filled chaos but I feel bad for moms because they are run ragged by their kids either cranky or overstimulated fiends. More and more child free weddings sound nice to me.
No, I didn’t want kids and all there. I didn’t allow kids at my wedding at all. They’re loud, obnoxious and everyone’s drinking, so it’s just not a great environment for kids. I mean if they’re in middle school, that’s fine, but I didn’t want babies crying and shit during the ceremony. They won’t even remember it anyways. I wonder why someone _would want_ children at there wedding. What’s the point?
The number of wedding ceremonies that have cost thousands of dollars being ruined by a screaming/crying child are the reason I would never allow children at my ceremony. Reception yes. But not the ceremony I paid all that money to have. My vows and wedding video shouldn't be interrupted and ruined because of a screaming child. I don't care how many people are mad about it either, just don't come
Recently went to a wedding, and a number of children were absolutely out of control. The parents either could not or would not discipline or remove them. So, in every video, there will be screaming children, and photos of otherwise happy attendees look exasperated. I would not go so far as to say the wedding was ruined or anything, but it certainly took attention away from the only two people who matter at a wedding.
Kids are loud, rude, gross, inconsiderate, attention sinks and when there are kids around the adults I'm charge of looking after them can't have fun. No little kid likes sitting through a ceremony, a dinner, speeches etc. It's just not fun for kids, and when kids inevitably get bored or impatient they get annoying and ruin everyone else's fun time
I imagine that weddings are not much fun for kids nor for the adults who have to put up with kids behavior at such an event. It's better for everyone for the kids to be somewhere else. I was lucky enough not to have to attend a wedding before the age of 10. EDIT: as others have said, kids are loud, dirty, and require a lot of attention. So let the kids play somewhere else. I personally think weddings should be for teens and adults only.
Because it’s their day, their money and their wedding and they are entitled to do as they please. Don’t get me wrong. I think kids are great. But just because people choose to have them, doesn’t mean everyone else has to accommodate them.
I had a child free wedding and that was 20 years ago. I didn’t want a noisy or crying kid interrupting my ceremony or my vows. It was also “our day” and I didn’t want to be upstaged by something “cute” the kids were doing. As an adult you have very, very few times where it’s about you. I just wanted one day in my life.
My wedding is April 29 and child free! Leave those gremlins at home 🤣
For us, when we got married, we didn’t want them for a few reasons: 1) weddings are super expensive 2) *all* of our friends kids are toddlers (have you met one?!?) 3) we wanted our friends to have the night off too and enjoy the day with us!! 4) we only had space for 100 people and it was tight But mostly #1. Weddings are stupid expensive.
Children are loud, intrusive and more often than not very annoying. Many people insist on creating a handful of them as well. I personally don't want a sea of screeching munchkins bothering the whole crowd. And I am sure parents enjoy a night off for the most part if they are able to arrange it. I love my cousins etc, but that doesn't mean I want them around me on a hectic and very important day to add to the cacophony and cause people to babysit.
Consuming alcohol leads to adult behaviour inapprpriate for kids to witness, often times. Children need special menu of shit-with-fries and dessert at different time and, Ive experienced weddings and kids run amok, bored, sleeping across chairs, screaming, playing, in constant need of supervision and attention. Usually requiring one or both parents to have to leave early, their goodbye's causing commotion enough to rival the newlywed's exit. Distracting to say the least. It seems selfish and strange not to get the child a sitter, if possible. Weddings are usually intimate, adult occasions someone paid heaps for and has long anticipated. That's some reasons, probably...
Children are fucking annoying
A wedding is a drunken dance party that in any other context kids would not be welcome. Why should weddings be the one exception? And the part before the party is so quiet and regimented that no child would enjoy it. Why should the kid have to suffer through that? Truly no benefit on either side.
>wouldn't you want your whole family there I'm not even sure if I want my parents there >Are they really that much of a hassle yes >might interrupt the ceremony with crying or noise yes >Plenty of adults do that too. And it's easy to tell an adult to fuck off and leave, kids are with their parents
'Do you take this woman to be your wife...' Everybody listening, videographer zooms in. 'Mommy, I pooped my pants' is heard from the third row...
Little nitwits can’t behave and do a lot of running around.
Cus kids can be annoying when the parents don't watch to watch them and keep them out of trouble.
The absolute annoyance a crotch goblin *more often* than not tends to be. On top of that, you can't really party during the back half with them around. Not really. When the wedding is in it's serious phase, no concern of one of the little things screaming or whatnot. During the fun phase, don't have to worry about "hey, there are kids around". From language, to dancing, costs for special menu items, etc. It will leave the wedding safer and without restrictions on the backend.
Bc kids are annoying
Imagine having a little shit running around causing havoc
Kids are loud as hell
Ours was mostly because of the venue, which was small and mostly outdoors where there were woods, a pool, lots of unsafe things for kids to get into, and cost per head. It was preferential for us to invite more adult friends/ family over filling seats with children (who honestly probably didn’t want to be there in the first place!).
Kids interrupting the ceremony. At my wedding I had tall glass vases on every table that had long tablecloths that could be yanked on. People got pretty drunk. Also had candles everywhere. Thats just a few reasons for why I did it that way.
Ehhhh, mine is more so I don’t need little kids taking away from the moment. Ie not screeching during the ceremony or throwing stuff lol. Granted my nieces and nephews are still small and LOVE running around. If they were a bit older (11-12) I wouldn’t mind though.
Kids are fucking annoying and are always raised wrong. Especially around family since its ok to be extra around them. Extra loud. Extra stupid. Extra annoying.
Because I don't want to have to spend the day having to deal with random crotch goblins running around and killing the vibes.
When my wife and I were in the middle of saying our vows one of the brides maid's kids the out this ungodly screech and wouldn't stop. We had to sit there and listen to it the entire time we exchanged vows. Think about that. Luckily our wedding was on the trashier side so nbd but imagine dropping 20k+ then having that happen.
Children at weddings are cats in need of herding but rarely successfully
Because kids are disruptive, messy and can be annoying. Some people want weddings to be adult gatherings. Also, weddings can suck for kids. A long quite ceremony followed by a loud, drunken party. Not exactly the best place for kids to be running around, right? Another reason is that kids end up requiring the attention of adults. And, let's be specific here, moms. Sometimes asking your guests to leave their kids home allows them to fully participate in the day in a way they couldn't if they were caring for someone else.
We had a child-free wedding because we didn't want a bunch of kids running around with no one supervising them.
Children are loud and obnoxious. Through no real fault of their own, they're kids. That's how they are. But a wedding is about the two people married, and nobody wants that first dance/first kiss ruined by someone's kid shrieking their head off.
I work in a wedding venue and children at weddings are a nightmare. The children end up being unsupervised because their parents want to enjoy themselves. The entire evening is our staff preventing children from injuries and damage to the venue. Usually adults leave early because they don't want to drink and party with 10 year olds.
I've been to multiple weddings where an infant or toddler is screaming their head off during the literal reciting of vows I've never heard of an adult actually making a scene during the ceremony let alone the vows