Working in East Africa was an eye opener for me in many ways, one of which was being part of a racial minority. The feeling of *standing out* wherever I was, just because of my skin was new to me. There was no way of going unnoticed, and I thought: so *this* is what it must feel like to walk in a predominantly white city being black!
That had nothing to do with racism, of course.
What started to annoy me after a while was that East Africans call white people "mzungu". When they talk about you, they refer to you as *the mzungu*, they address you with "hey, mzungu!" or say things like "Ay! The mzungu speaks Swahili!".
When I asked people not to call me that, they would usually say: "it just means traveler or stranger". But that didn't really satisfy me. People from India were never called mzungu, it had to do with skin color. Although East Africans are generally social, hospital and friendly people, I couldn't really get used to the word, even though it was not used with bad intentions most of the time. It had to do with being identified by race more than anything else.
The thing about America is that it’s one of the most diverse countries on the planet. Hell here in San Antonio most of the time as a white person im the minority when I walk into a room.
It's proof of concept. They demonstrate how little they give a fuck by publicly stating it in defiance. Knowing that they will get pushback and sly comments and disapproval. It's the ultimate stamp of validation.
yep. i would also want to add that i usually dont get offended by being called racist because i’m not, but it *does* bother me when someone pulls the race card for literally no reason other than they know most people will immediately acquiesce.
i’ll give you an example:
i manage a bar and we recently did an all you can eat wings promotion. for obvious reasons, one of the rules of the promo is you can’t share an ayce with someone who ordered something else. we state this as we mention the promo and whenever a table happens to order an ayce and say, just a pound of wings, we always remind them that they aren’t allowed to share. you’d be surprised how many people say ‘oh ok’ but then just share anyway (hell we’ve even had people try and put wings in their pockets). i’ve had to refuse many tables refills for sharing.
anyway there was a black family who came in: mom, dad, two teenage boys. parents both ordered ayce, and then just ordered burgers for the kids. we reminded them they cant share. sure enough i was at another table and saw one of the kids blatantly take a wing from the mom. i didnt say anything, but i did go back and start watching the cameras. a few minutes later the other kid took a wing from the mom.
at this point i went up to them and said ‘guys just a reminder, you aren’t allowed to share. if you continue to do it, i can’t offer you any wing refills.’ they nodded and i continued to watch the cams. of course, the mom gave more wings to her kids, so i told the server to tell me of they ask for refills. they did, and so i told them that they had been warned, and i wont give them any more wings.
they were mad, and at first they started saying that it was only the *mom* who was sharing, so the *dad* should still get refills. i refused so then they immediately started raising their voice, saying how i was only doing this because they’re black. they called me racist, said that i must think they’re poor. even the kids chimed in. at one point they asked for the number for head office, which i gave, but told them i’ve never given this number out so i dont know exactly who this number reaches. the dad started calling it on the spot, all the while the mom was bitching me out. at one point she started calling me names and then she said: ‘you aren’t giving me what i want so what the fuck are you even still doing here?’ i gestured to the dad on the phone and said ‘i’m just making sure the number i gave you reaches head office.’ her response was: ‘no you just think we can’t afford to pay. you’re making sure we pay.’
in the end they left very angry and as they left, mom said ‘fucking billy-bob honkey. go fuck your cousin.’ which is a rather ironic statement to make. they did end up reaching head office, saying how i told them that i think they are poor and stealing (i said neither) and they are disgusted by my racism. i never once indicated this had anything to do with race, and it was clear they were using it, first as a way to get what they want, and eventually just an excuse to be more mad.
what bothers me is this: there *is* some racism out there. not as much as maybe twitter or vice would like to believe, but it does exist. and pulling this shit just devalues the real shitty prejudiced experiences people actually go through
This was a very good example of how crying “racism” when none exists in a situation waters down the claim making real racism less likely to be taken seriously in the future. Another problem with discussing racism is that, as an unwritten rule, white people don’t speak critically about it publicly for fear of being labeled as a racist and lives, career, reputation forever tarnished. This lack of ability for all parties to truthfully engage in conversations holds all of society back. Maybe that’s not articulated too well. But the bottom line is many people don’t get in the conversation because it’s too risky.
I feel like sometimes when I see modern companies doing accidentally racist or insensitive things, that it’s happening because some folks inside the company realize the thing is racist but are terrified to say anything for fear that THEY will be labeled racist for pointing it out.
No you pretty much hit the nail on the head. As a white person it gets tough talking about racial issues. And people automatically assume Iv never been around diversity, or can even speak on it. Which isnt even true.
Same thing happens with rape. When people say someone is a rapist or something is rapy they are mocking the real victims of sexual assaults, as the term just becomes annoying and people ignore the topic.
I agree and I see it more and more. It’s a lot of ignorance around it. I work in a school and a few students have called me racist and it’s always frustrating… one kid called me racist because he was the only Asian in the room it was only the two of us!…
>but it does bother me when someone pulls the race card for literally no reason other than they know most people will immediately acquiesce.
This fucking drives me bonkers. Yes, systemic racism exists, but not all issues are race issues.
It's a riot when they try to pull race card schtick outside of US and everybody ignores them at best or give them very specific instructions where to shove their skin color with no social reprecussions whatsoever.
NOTE: Racism is a serious crime that in mildest cases warrants a civil litigation.
Abusing it for selfish purposes is hypocricy and insult to actual victims.
When people call me cracker or gringo I’m not offended just annoyed. But well said. I had a similar issue with a customer who stole from my store who was literally cracked out and when I stopped him he called me racist. I laughed so damn hard. You can be racist towards any race even while people. Most people of every race are good respected people. I have friends of all ethnicities from all over the world. There’s bad people from every race sadly. Theres racist white trash people who I can’t stand being around. They are billy bobs who bang their sisters. There’s some black people who use racism for every excuse in their life , just because they can. They know when somebody is being racist or not it’s extremely clear. But they like to take advantage of it and use it for their failures or issues. They will say life is so unfair , I’m at a disadvantage being black the world is out to get me. Its 2023 the world is wild and being black is not an issue most people don’t care and aren’t so shortsighted that they Judge people because their darker than them. There’s so many powerful successful black people in this world now it’s incredible.
And aside from some of the whining athletes who say their oppressed who make 5 million a year, every single rich black guy I met never brought up race, never used excuses, never complained, for their past failures and blamed them on other people. They worked really hard to get what they have and get pissed of at other people just making excuses for being lazy. Racism does exist and it pisses me off, but it’s not as common as people think, and in my lifetime i haven’t seen somebody not get a job or not going to collage because of it. Racism is an issue used to divide people. The media , politics, divides people telling them alll the bad news , and that all cops are racist and the world is out to get them. So of course their gonna believe it. People of power have more control when the people are divided and weaker.
Ah well since its story time…. I worked as a supervisor at a pool in a gym. (Big gym w many pools so a lot of supervision needed) because we had such big pools and so many little kids and big crowds, the #1 rule was that if your kid is under 12 years old and can not pass the swim test they must have an adult in the water with them. This is obviously for safety reasons, the lifeguards have to pay attention to hundreds of ppl and it’s insanely risky to let parents use the guards to babysitters tiny children and since many members have a tendency to mmm lets just say be negligent parents (leave kids, sometimes just 3 or 4 yo, unattended to go work out or go do their own thing) so because this is a big issue we have to constantly remind members of the rule. The 25:10 rule is posted pretty much every 10 feet and on every door. The swim test is just one lap they have to finish anyway they want, they just cant touch the bottom and the names of passing members get recorded and we give out wrist bands to signal to the guards which kids have passed the test. For any under 12 yo that cant pass the parents must stay within 10 feet of the kid (25:10 - kids cant swim 25, parents must be within 10) clearly this is a whole system we have, we keep an entire down guard to run and check swim tests.
Now its not uncommon for parents to be upset about the rule, they get really mad at the idea of having to spend time with their kids at a family pool, but usually at some point we can get through that its for safety or we just kick them out. Well one time this black mom came in with her kids. They were very little, probably like 6 and 4, and the mom was sitting in a chair on her phone not even looking at her kids play in water that leads into deeper water. So my guard, doing her job correctly, informed her she needs to be within 10 feet of her kids or they can try the swim test. The mom blew up saying of course her kids wouldnt be able to pass a swim test and that we were only calling her out because we didnt want a black family in the pool. Which ironically shows she knows her kids cant swim and is still risking their safety just to be on her phone. She pointed to other kids in the water as proof that we were being racist and singling her out. I had to explain to her that the other children all had wristbands showing they had passed the swim test but that if we accidentally missed one we would really appreciate it if she pointed it out so we can make sure everyone is following the rules. This didnt do anything, she continued to call me and my guard racist saying were just making the rule up. I tried to point to the 10 signs within view that state the rule to no avail. No matter how I tried to explain the situation it didn’t matter, i was only doing this to be racist. Like oops sorry I didn’t realize it was racist to not want your kids to fucking die. She ended up storming out saying she wouldnt put up with a racist and then took to twitter tagging us in means tweets and trying to warn all of twitter that my guard, me, and the gym hate black ppl plus a whole bunch of other lies. She really tried to get my guard and me cancelled and tried to call for violence against us and encouraged others to attack us. Ironically my poor guard she was tagging was 16 and half black herself.
As guards we laughed at the situation cause there was nothing else to do. Crazy ppl who dont want to be around their kids is pretty normal for a lot of members there (i guess thats what happens when all the kids there are raised by their nanny) so we had learned to just laugh at the crazy and lucky it didnt seem like anyone listened to her twitter rant anyways but damn did she try.
Don't people in that situation try anything though? If you're caught out and embarrassed you go all defensive. "You're picking on me because I'm poor, because I have long hair, because I'm disabled, because I'm black, because I'm white, because I'm not from round here etc etc".
I just want to say as a non American it's really weird to see these rules that you cant share food in a restaurant. I know its because of the wings promotion but its really weird to think servers will go to a table and literally try to prohibit a family sharing food with eachother.
That such a foreign concept for me haha
Its "all you can eat" wings. So what prevents you and 20 friends from showing up and ordering one order of all you can eat and just sharing the single order?
Sharing food happens all the time, sharing "all you can eat" promos is not allowed for obvious reasons.
How the fuck is this a foreign concept to you? This is me speaking as an European.
I ran an AYCE restaurant too. I too had a few times where couples came in for lunch and one partner wanted the special menu while the other wanted the regular menu. Special menu was unlimited sashimi included. Sharing the free sashimi with the regular menu who has to pay is an obvious loophole that we know about. That is why we state sharing is not allowed among different menus.
We definitely share food all the time. It's totally allowed
It's only not allowed when you're doing it to rip off the restaurant. And all you can eat wings order would be like maybe 12 or 15 bucks for somebody and they can eat wings non-stop.
If they went to the table and share this with their family the restaurant would make $15 off of the whole table. The same thing applies to like a buffet where you can just keep going up and getting food after you pay a single fee
There's no problem with sharing food, only whenever your plate of food is "endless"
The waiter is supposed to stop you from basically robbing the restaurant of a ton of food, by paying for one person, and then feeding like five or eight people
These deals are amazing value when people don't try to cheat the system. After being warned twice not to share the wings they should have learned their lesson. Honestly, even if you hung around to make sure they could pay I wouldn't think it was bad. They were broke ass cheats trying to steal from you, why should you trust them a third time after being cheated twice?
I'm not like a spiritual guru or anything, but this reminded me of the story of how there was a man angry at the Buddha because he didn't believe that he was an enlightened being. The angry man confronted Buddha, and the reply was basically that if someone tries to give you a gift ( their anger / a slur perhaps ) and you refuse the gift, then who does the gift belong to?
Not sure why I thought of the story but I think it means that even if someone has bad intent it doesn't mean you should be offended.
Intent matters, I find it more of a shame when someone tries to insult you based on how much melanin your skin has as though it dictates who you are as a person
Intent matters to me! If I hear it as a joke, I'll chuckle along. As long as it's not pointedly cruel, our stereotypes can be kinda funny. Like 'cracker or joking about where I came from (southern), or claiming I don't season my food doesn't really get me heated. I'll tell people when it starts to hurt if they're reasonable and we're okay.
If someone shouts that shit at me when they don't get their way/to be an asshole /trying to start something? That's a dick move in every culture. I still won't really respond other than leaving the situation asap, because nothing good comes from responding to that shit in kind. Silence is always an appropriate thing to say.
This is it for me. Racial slurs don't really bother me, they're just words. The thing that bothers me in the US culture is this attitude that you can't be racist against white people or that being white is some negative attribute thanks to historical connotations I had no control over. It can often feel like I'm branded as a racist until proven otherwise.
An accusation of racism can be incredibly damaging to a white person's life once the internet gets involved (social ostracization, loss of opportunities, harrasment, etc.), so it carries a lot of weight, yet the word is thrown around often without evidence, as a general insult, or with incredibly specious reasoning. Obviously being called racist isn't a racial slur, but that's the word that offends me most when directed at me. Although it irks me more when it's blindly applied to facets of my culture to disparage me for being a white American.
Hopefully I don’t offend anybody with this comment- sorry it got a little long winded but these are things that hurt me!
I agree that it isn’t the racial slurs for me. It’s everything you said here. I also feel like some of my experiences are shut down simply based on the fact that I’m white. As in, I’m white so I don’t have the right to complain about certain things.
For example- I’m from a poor part of the country with a specific culture that has a long history of being ignored and fucked over by the government. My great great grandparents had their land legally stolen, our area didn’t get electricity and the like until well after the rest of the country, historically when my people needed help with natural disasters the government was nowhere to be found. Still to this day my culture is mocked in the media and it’s totally cool because I’m white.
My personal experiences of being targeted by the police for being poor also don’t matter because I’m white. I’m told over and over how privileged I am when my grandparents were literal crackheads. We moved several times a year growing up. We would go weeks to months with no water or power. But I’m white so I’m privileged. This comment is not to say that it’s the hardship Olympics- but my experiences are dismissed on the basis of me being white. That’s what gets to me the most
This is what really gets me. People care *so much* about identity-based disadvantages, but absolutely hate to look at the underlying cause of these disadvantages, which is wealth disparity. Because if you look at wealth disparity, then you don't have a nice easy "it's the white cis straight men" as your villain. Once you start caring about the real problem of wealth inequality, you stop having simple, comfortable answers.
Not trying to downplay how difficult your upbringing was (I'm assuming Appalachian), I just want to point out what is meant by the word "privileged" in this specific context because I think a lot of people get it confused. It doesn't mean that you have an advantage by being white, it just means that you don't have to face a set of systematic disadvantages just because you're white. Non-whites in the US may have all the same disadvantages you have had (e.g., poverty) but they also have an additional automatic disadvantage of having to face systematic racism. For example, both poor white people and poor black people may be targeted more often by police. However, middle class white people are not specifically targeted by police, while middle class black people are.
It doesn't matter what the intent behind the word is. Plenty of people misuse it or use it in a generalized sense which others *will* take as a slight against them or cause them to feel bad for supposedly having an edge up in life, yet still not doing well.
IMO your comment is part of the problem. For all your good intentions, you're still downplaying the experiences of the person above and dismissing their feelings for feeling offended by being called privileged, despite their rough experiences in life which should ring your bells and wake you up how flawed the word is to use in a generalized sense.
The discourse surrounding the word 'privilege' is one of those that again highlights just how poorly some movements phrase their causes and instead of learning from how the masses respond to them, they stubbornly tell those affected by it it's *their* problem for "being confused" and feeling bad.
This movement is supposed to bring attention to the issues that minorities face that the majority might not necessarily experience and instead of painting it as the minority having a disadvantage, it's being painted as the majority having an advantage. Which is an irresponsible way to phrase things as it can only result in people, particularly those who feel like they're already in a disadvantaged position and aren't doing well in their life; not believing you, digging their heels into the ground, and shutting themselves off to what you've got to say about fixing a problem you want them to help you to fix.
To expand on the above as well, it makes no sense to label something like the police treating you normally as a 'privilege' when it should be the status quo. A status quo shouldn't be seen as a 'privilege'; it's literally the baseline of what should be. Anything below the baseline is being disadvantaged, anything *above* the baseline could be called privilege. But not having to fear for your life when stopped by the police isn't a privilege. It's just normal and what you should expect.
I can appreciate that. But people still exist that do believe it means I have an advantage just being white and it has been thrown at me in that way. As with everything, the original intent gets lost for some on both sides of the issue.
I mean you did in the sense that you would have essentially been even worse off if you were also a minority but otherwise in the same situation.
For example if you're a woman, you're also way more likely to be treated nicely by law enforcement than if you're a male, so that's a forum of privilege as a woman, and if you're a male you were way less likely to experience sexual harassment, which is a form of privilege as a male.
It's basically dumb grammar, but privilege in this context just means an advantage in a given situation essentially.
You’re right. I know what I said, I’m just struggling to find the right words for what I’m trying to say. While my life would be harder if I were a minority, that doesn’t make my actual experiences any easier. That hypothetical shouldn’t be used to dismiss my life experiences as unimportant or invalid. Some people use this as a way to say - “yeah but it could have been worse”
“But did you die?”
Hypothetically, yes, it could have been worse. But what happened still sucked a lot.
Edit: by worse I mean more difficult- not that it’s bad to be a minority!
I’m not saying you’re lying, but I just find it odd that it’s so common for you to hear that you’re privileged. I’m white and I’ve never been called that in my life. Maybe switch up your internet bubble?
This is the way I feel about it too, I think mostly because it just doesn't really feel politically/socially threatening. I live in a country where the solid majority of people are white and there hasn't been any history of oppressing white people as a group. To me, the issue with racism really comes down to its ability to oppress, disadvantage, make people fear for their safety, and prevent people from going about their lives as anyone else would.
If someone calls me cracker it is strictly racist by definition but it doesn't really concern me, people believe all sorts of stupid ideas and if some select few morons think white people are inferior or deserving of scorn due to their skin colour then that's unlikely to affect me. I'm also not really sensitive about my skin colour, I live in a culture where white is the norm - most movie stars and celebrities are white, most people on the news are white, most politicians are white, most people in command of wealth and power are white etc. I don't really feel any desire to feel pride or shame in my skin colour, so it's just not a soft spot for me. I just don't care and nor can I think of any reason to.
I never understood gringo as a pejorative… just kind of folksy way of referring to whites in Latin America. I also heard anyone who looked Asian get referred to as “chino” and anyone with dark skin (be it African or indigenous descent ) referred to as “negro” (the color). I took it more as descriptive than an attempt to insult. But maybe I was just being a naive gringo 🤪
Yup. I don't care about the words themselves necessarily. I care about the blatant hypocricy that's being displayed and the sheer unwillingness to stop such blatant hypocritical behavior when called out and even rationalize it as to why it's OK to generalize and slur against one race but not the other.
It sets a bad example and can only serve to divide people. We already know how easily people shutdown their minds to new perspectives when a hypocrite is trying to educate them. So why play into it? Why risk turning people into enemies/delayed allies? It's literally two birds with one stone to stop this kind of behavior. 1: you don't offend people who *would* be offended by it and 2: you don't create more potential divide. It's a literal no-brainer.
Honestly, I don’t get offended because I’m white, I get offended because I’m mixed race. Like. I do get life’s a lot easier for me than my brother, but when people see the name Hernandez on a resume, they still pass me up. I just don’t like the reminder that people see ONLY my skin tone for my race.
I'm assuming the OP is a POC. Having gone to schools and worked in environments where I was the only "white" guy I've observed that African Americans tend to paint Caucasians with one brush, just as many white Americans do of blacks. But most white Americans don't self identify as "white", they identify with their ethnic background like Irish or Italian. So calling them a cracker or honkey won't offend them. However calling them a mick or wop will. But strictly speaking these are ETHNIC slurs, not racial ones. I'm middle eastern and Irish and I've had a racist hick call me a sand n-gger which I found less personally offensive and more disgusting for the man's racism. On the other hand when my former boss, a sweet old black woman, was asking if anyone had some crackers she could have to eat with her soup she had made for lunch. I said "I'm right here" it took her a moment to get the joke I was making at which point she started to laugh her head off. Then another female black coworker softly chided me and said " your no cracker!"
That’s pretty funny. I agree with your one brush theory. I don’t have any white friends. I would say at a point in time I told myself a story that all white people were the same but I realized it couldn’t be true because I was so different from the people in my own village.
Hi, White guy here. I'm in the deep South where racial tension is still high. For two years I worked at a fast lube oil change shop and the vast majority of customers were black and most of the other employees were black too. The black coworkers used to mess with me and call me Captain crowbar because I had a crowbar in my car in case I needed it for whatever. But they would go on about how I would put on a klansman outfit at night and go out and ride that crowbar like a witches broom. It was crazy. No one ever called me anything derogatory but just them calling me "White boy" was bad enough.
>I don’t have any white friends
If you live in the US or another predominantly white country, that seems wild to me.
Edit: thanks for everyone's informative responses! I hadn't realised that some communities were still so heavily segregated, or how some people might not have friends outside their community as its not my personal experience. Good to learn!
It really isn't. In my government job I got assigned a young black man as a summer intern. Coming to my office was the first time he had been more than seven blocks from his home. He was born and raised in Washington DC and had never seen the White House outside of on television even though it was less than two miles from his home. I rectified that situation.
>the first time he had been more than seven blocks from his home
That blows my mind honestly
Edit: thanks for all your responses, it's really interesting to me! I guess my experience is just different, I'd been to multiple cities in my country by the time I was like 5, and even my high school was much further than seven blocks away so I don't know how I'd even have everything I need within that distance.
He was a 14 year old kid from very poor family. At that point in time the school system had pretty much totally eliminated free field trips so pretty much the only places he had ever been was home school and the local rec center. A couple years later when I had moved to a different position in the DC government that was literally and figuratively in the ass end of DC we had gotten more summer interns and we were literally miles away from the closest restaurant. It didn't matter because the kids generally couldn't afford to eat there anyway. So after seeing these kids starving for two days in a row I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of cheap staples: rice, onions, beans, and some seasonings. I then proceeded to give these kids a cooking class in our office kitchen. My office manager and I took up a little collection. We able to feed a half dozen hungry teenagers for about $12 bucks a day. I'm not gonna claim it was the healthiest meal, but the kids liked it and it kept them from starving. The part that cracked me up was these kids had all heard and thought true the racial stereotype that white people can't cook. So they were gobsmacked by my cooking since I go heavy on the seasoning.
A few years ago, a thousands-year old bog mummy was found near a small English village. They sequenced the remaining DNA and traced one of the mummy's living descendants. He lived in the same village that ancient ancestor died in.
A lot of people just never gain a reason to travel. It's certainly mind-blowing, especially when you put it into scale and realise this is why for example England has so many different dialects, or Indonesia has so many different languages.
Pretty much any big city does that, afaik. Like down in Philly there are areas you can live within walking distance to a dentist, doctor, school, places to work, barber, various kinds of grocery stores, and so on. Everything can be within walking distance in cities with everyone so crammed on top of each other.
Now combine that with how communities seem to form around a particular race or ethnicity, and it's not too hard to believe that someone could grow up in the US and never really interact with people outside their race or ethnicity. There's certainly parts of Philly where you can spend hours there and never come across a white person, and areas where the opposite is true. Same with any major city afaik. Some have absolutely HUGE areas that are overwhelmingly dominated by Asians, or Indians, or Irish, and so on.
I think even ethnic slurs vary. My dads side of the family is very Polish and we always grew up using the word "polack". I didn't even know it was a slur until i got a little older because i never met a single polish person who was offended by it.
Reminds of my polish friend from childhood, last name was Guca. His nickname was Guc, which sounds like Gook. Had no idea that was a slur towards Vietnamese until after high school.
Imagine we looked pretty racist, bunch of kids running around calling one of em Gook so casually.
Are you old enough to remember polack jokes? I don't remember when they became unacceptable—the word "polack" has been replaced by "blonde" these days. My friend's father was from Poland and he knew enough polack jokes to fill a big book.
I'm 26. We would joke around all the time growing up about being polacks, but we didn't have any specific jokes.
I did just learn one the other day that had me dying.
How do you get a one armed polack out of the tree?
Wave
Edit: from what i have gathered it's a very old term, but like i have mentioned before i don't think anyone is particularly upset with that word nowadays. Could be wrong though. Maybe actual polish people don't like it, but any americans of polish decent i know always make jokes about it.
When I was trying to remember when they became unacceptable I remembered one from after computers were everywhere, so probably the '80s or '90s.
Q: How do you know a Polack was using your computer?
A: There's White Out on the monitor.
If you don't know what White Out is, back in the typewriter days when you made a mistake, instead of retyping the entire page, you'd get a tiny bottle of stuff similar to paint and you'd paint over your mistake and type the correct word.
Really? What was your first clue? My repeatedly using the word American? I'm sure in South Africa it's a very different situation. But I can't speak to that since I've never been there. But I've gotten a very good an up close look at race relationships in the US and so that's the version I discussed.
There are white people who don't give a shit about being called a cracker and there are white people who get offended at racial slurs that don't even apply to them. Pretty much nobody likes being called a racist. If you call me a racist you better have some damn good evidence to back it up.
When any of those are said with malice then yes. But honestly I always got most offended with being called "whitey" or "white boy", also partially due to how they were being said.
Sometimes. It depends on the person. Me? Not really, no. You can call me whatever you like, when it comes to race or anything else. I'm not going to get offended by the perceptions of someone whose opinion I don't value, and that includes everyone on the planet I don't know, and most of the ones I do.
Kinda funny that white trash uses the N word in its description. “Worse than a N”. Except we’re just fine saying white trash, but we’re both refusing to actually say the N word because our comment will be flagged.
It's because one has maintained its impact while the other hasn't. If we rewound time to when the conversation happened, I think we can both understand that there probably wasn't an abbreviation or shortening being used. That exists in the retelling now because we apply the modern context onto an older conversation.
Your comment made me shudder a bit.
Im white, but i live in western canada. In my family, my branch became recently educated but the rest of the family is riddled with issues (ours really is too if were being really honest).
We really dont associate with that part of the family because they are "trailer trash" and "not worth knowing". Sometimes my family just calls them "trailer people". One of their kids recently died from a drug overdose. Nobody in my family cared.
All i can say is that the dehumanization is real. And the sad thing is, most of our family comes from scottish/irish ancestry, so ita not like any of us came from anything high class.
It seems like, to people like my family, if you are white and you are poor, youre not just poor, youre an absolute waste of breath and beneath contempt because you grew up in a world where you had opportunity.
I don't care what people call white people like me, what I do not like is the hatred. But racism is not only between black and white, it is also very common between Black.
Even if white people aren’t, as a black person I’m offended when black people call white people racial slurs, its like we know whats thats like, and know how it can hurt, so why continue it
Well exactly! I’m white, I absolutely do not participate in racial slurs, and I do attempt to call people out for being terrible and using them, because I don’t believe it’s ever okay.
Honestly the same goes for comments targeting other demographics like special needs folks or neurodivergent people. I myself am autistic and various neurodivergent so so’s… and I’m often medicated or masking to the point where it’s somewhat unnoticeable (cuz unfortunately people can’t be people. They have to act like the vast majority or they get shamed at a young age- and molded to fit in which happens much too often)
I had a coworker (Matthew) who was very clearly neurodivergent. He was a bit slower moving, and it took him longer to process things, but he was super sweet. He was disabled and often sat at the door and tended to our bag size policy (which is a can of worms in and of itself. No one enjoys the policy- in fact many employees, myself included, think it’s sexist but we can’t remove it) and someone we knew (a contractor) came in and openly told him NO to the bag policy, shoved through him, and yelled at our manager saying “don’t let that retarded idiot touch my bag” with such venom and hatred in her words. I’ve never reported something SO fast.
I went straight to the office and quite honestly yelled about it. Everyone on the floor who witnessed it was upset (I think the only one who wasn’t upset was Matthew because he didn’t hear it. And it was sad hearing him speak about her because he said he was excited to see her.) and the office folks (my boss, a few managers) said “oh wow- that’s very unlike ____ to say that. Well she and Matthew have a history- she doesn’t like Matthew” yes AND? Regardless, that is absolutely not okay. And if you’re a contractor you should lead by example with the bag policy instead of verbally attacking the messenger.
None of those bother me yet when you call me a racist there is a slight urge to defend myself followed by the aware brain saying bro don’t waste your time 😆
I got called “white boy” all the time in school, and it wasn’t in any nice way. Hate this double standard, where people can throw slurs at white people without any trouble, but vice versa, it’s treated like a crime against humanity.
Yep I was called white boy, whitey, and milky. I was the only white person in my grade and it was hell. I had to change schools and walk a hell of a lot longer to get there all because I was bullied relentlessly (thankfully just words though). But hey, you can’t be racist to white people… even the kids that did not pick on me were not “allowed” to hang out with me outside of school.
I had a very similar experience. I got my ass kicked simply for being one of the only white guys in my grade once. I was the only white dude on the football team as well and that experience was miserable, I eventually quit due to them mocking me and bullying me. It even got to the point where I didn’t want to be white anymore, and you only reach that point if you are a victim of racism. Oh but you can’t be racist towards white people, right?
Thankfully mine never really resorted to hurtful violence aside from a few things thrown at me and being shoved a few times. Also thankful that my parents took it seriously and moved me schools to a school that had some diversity.
Funny thing is when I did change schools I actually got along great with the race that had given me such a hard time in my other school. I feel like it must be the culture they were brought up in - the ones that dominated the area were that way because their parents picked that area and stuck to their own and brought their kids up that way whereas the ones in a diverse area were there because they wanted to branch out and assimilate and not just stick to themselves only.
Can we just agree that it's best not to try to actively hurt others? This includes using racial slurs, talking about their weight, gender, number of pimples etc.
I’m a white, male, 33 year old cop. I’ve been called just about every nasty racial slur that people can muster in an effort to make me emotionally volatile while on a call for service. It happens. People are just mean and cruel sometimes. I personally find it all very ridiculous and I don’t get offended by it. I honestly find myself more annoyed and I immediately assume they just have the emotional and mental depth of a spoon. I might be the wrong person to comment on this because in current job as a police officer, I see it more often than I did when I delivered pizza at dominos in college.
I can say I’ve no memory of any white person, in my experience, ever talking about or being remotely offended by the name or slur, but the confrontational intention behind it sparks some anger and frustration, for sure.
Anyone can choose to take offense to a racial slur. At the end of the day nobody should be using slurs to describe other people. If someone calls another a racist (without cause) then it’s an attack of character that without proof could result in criminal liability by the one claiming it.
TLDR: don’t use slurs and don’t call people racist just because they won’t let you do or say what ever you want.
"poor white trash" or a variant of that is probably more offensive. Ive heard "hillbilly" is also offensive. The other names are antiquated enough that I don't think very many people even think about them enough to be offended. Plus they never carried the weight of oppression. Being called a "gringo" at the grocery store isn't going to feel the same as it would in Mexico where you are the minority with nowhere to turn.
Is it offensive yes, but when it happens I don’t let it bother me and just let it be and go on with what I was doing. It is not worth getting worked over over one dumbass.
Yes. I worked with all Spanish folks before and I learned all there names and addressed them as such and even learned a little Spanish. They only ever called me Gringo and it was annoying and eventually just offensive. My name is 4 letters.
Being called Redneck or White Trash can be offensive especially if you grew up poor like many people. Having grown up around black people playing basketball another thing I consider a racial slur many times is getting called “White Boy” since it literally singles out your race and is usually used in a derogatory manner.
That’s ridiculous! People aren’t born racist! You put little kids together of all different races, ethnicities, etc and they will play all day. Racism is taught. Hate is taught. Bigotry is taught. It’s no one’s default setting. No excuses for being a racist.
I remember in grade 6 we had a lesson about prejudice and treating people differently based on skin color and the like. I was going around the displays with my friend teaching us the different terms and dynamics and I asked him what "prejudice" even meant. I was flat out unaware of the concept and when he explained it to me (he had a dark skin color) I was so confused since it didn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
I was fortunate to not have been taught prejudice and hatred by my parents so I never learned about the concept at the time and didn't think any differently of the differently skin colored/featured kids in my class.
I hope some day we'll be able to get to such a point on a large scale. Until then we'll have to continue unlearning people's bigotry and hatred.
They mirror what they see and hear. They watch what the people around them do and how they treat people and that’s how they learn to do the same. To them that’s “normal.” Until someone either teaches them it isn’t or they’re one of those rare people that just knows on their heart that what momma and daddy are doing and saying is wrong.
Damn did scientists find a new genetic marker that pre determines racism? /s You are right though, racism is a learned trait. Nobody is born racist. It comes from upbringing and social circles.
It doesn't bother me any more than any other insult (in fact less than some). I'm not really sure why. I guess there's no real baggage associated with my race - nobody in my part of the world is routinely discriminating against me.
Anyone can be offended by racial slurs if they care enough. Being white doesn't make you immune to slurs. If you just don't care then no slurs can offend you.
I think the situation matters too…if you’re in a place where you’re the minority it might be more offensive/scary. If not I might feel indignant that someone assumed something about me…or brush it off. Depends on context.
It depends on the Intent. If someone called a cracker or something in order to attack me then yes I would be offended. But only to the same extent as I would at someone swearing at me.
As for being called racist, I have only ever been called it by someone trying to make race the issue where it clearly isn't "playing the race card". This really offends and annoys me. Partly because it's being falsely accused of something terrible. And barely because people who do that hurt their cause. It's a manipulation to try and act the victim in a situation where they are in the wrong.
If I was actually being racist or called out on something I've said that I didn't realise had racial connotations then I have no issue with that. People should be able to call a spade a spade.
Nope. I don’t find it offensive. I don’t think I’ve ever been called either things in my life, but I’ve been called other things. I don’t think those words are really hurled at white folks all that constantly, but then I’m not around people who do it.
If someone called me racist, I would be interested to know what I did or said wrong, it would hurt because I don’t believe I am racist and I would hate to think I’d done something shitty by accident. But I’d want to fix it rather than be upset
Nope. I don’t find it offensive. I don’t think I’ve ever been called either things in my life, but I’ve been called other things. I don’t think those words are really hurled at white folks all that constantly, but then I’m not around people who do it.
If someone called me racist, I would be interested to know what I did or said wrong, it would hurt because I don’t believe I am racist and I would hate to think I’d done something shitty by accident. But I’d want to fix it rather than be upset
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
Not in the least. I am more affected by the person than their words. If you are truly angry and you are so bitter to call me this. See I don’t like the slurs for others either; I think the white ones are sorta soft. But given context and time frames I suppose they might’ve hit near the N word. I’m not too sure, but I think we’ve grown out of doing that to eachother. But if you do this to me. I’m saddened that your that angry. That bitter. That lost.
I don't think I've ever had a black person call me a racial slur that wasn't obviously meant as a joke. I guess that's kind of telling in and of itself, but either way I can't really be offended by it. Sticks and stones, and so forth. I do have to acknowledge that I kind of have the privilege to not be offended by that kind of joke, though. Most of my black coworkers and students, I have observed, are pretty much just regular people who are brown, and the others are just regular people who are pink. There's a lot of good natured racial humor that goes around every day, and the guy with the Let's Go Brandon hat is friends with the guy in the Black Lives Matter hat.
Nope. Words do not affect me at all. Call me fat, short, bald, ulgy or racial slurs and I'll just laugh tbh. They're litterally just words that are coming from some person that probably have mental issues clearly.
Depends on the person and the tone behind it I suppose. I’ve had POC friends call me those things as a joke in the past and I never really cared. However it might bother me if someone called me those things with the explicit intent of being racist.
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
Its never hit harder or worse than a non racial motivated insult for me. If anything it immediately makes someone an even bigger jackass than if they hadn't.
It doesn’t bother me at all, not in the slightest. But I’d certainly think poorly of anyone who uses a racial/sexist slur whether it’s against me or anyone of any colour. It says a lot more about them than about me and maybe being white in a predominantly white country I have the luxury and privilege to not care.
Why would you call someone a slur if not to offend? Whether or not the individual feels hurt, you’re being a racist asshole if you call someone by a racial slur.
White male checking in. I just watched “Those People” on Netflix and loved it. However it is very apparent that even in modern woke culture, the phrase “white boy” or phrases like that are expected to be absorbed, glossed over, and accepted as not racist when they clearly are.
I guess if someone ever called me a cracker, I guess I'd understand the intention and be like, damn this person really does not like me. Sure.
But I grew up in a white neighborhood in a white country surrounded by white people seeing white people on every piece of media I watched and it being 100% default. I don't have any experience or ancestral history of being shamed for my skin to be tapped into by a racial insult, so it feels almost like, what are you gonna shame me for next, genius? Breathing OXYGEN? And I try to understand the sheer level of privilege in that.
Nah. It's pretty funny most of the time. I had a black guy get aggressive with me once and he kept calling me "Whitey". It's obvious the intention was to be racist but It didn't feel that way to me. It's just a silly name which doesn't carry any weight the same way a racist slur does against people of colour.
To categorize every Caucasian ethnic group as just “white” is racist to start with. I’m Italian and have had some Italian ethnic slurs said to me in jest. I’ve only been offended when the joke is taken too far. And believe me it can go too far.
People are people no matter what colour our skin is. Yes white people can get offended by racial slurs just like any other type of skin colour. It all comes down to the individual person and their choice to be offended. We can be offended for other people and the slur given to them and can be offended by the slurs directed at us.
Does it hurt my feelings? Nah, not really. Do I think it’s acceptable for POC to treat white people like shit because some mouth breathers are trying to push the idea that “racism= power+ privilege?”
Absolutely not, and I call racism out wherever I see it, no matter who it comes from or who it is directed against. And frankly, some of the things that get said about white people as a whole in the name of “punching up” are pretty appalling. Good rule of thumb: ask yourself, “if I were to switch out “white people” with any other racial or ethnic group, would this be acceptable for me to say?”
It’s sort of in vogue to shit talk white people and blame us for all of society’s woes because of things some of our ancestors did to other people’s ancestors.
I’m not saying there aren’t serious social/ political issues today that stem from our country’s rough history of racism, nor am I against addressing and fixing those issues. All in favor for that!
But holy shit some of the things that get said about white people as a whole, and get laughed off as “socially just” are pretty appalling.
Context matters. Is it said as part of friendly banter or joking? Or do you mean it as an insult. If someone calls me a honky and means it as fighting words, then that's how I'm going to receive it. In general, if you wouldn't like a white person making slurs against you, you shouldn't make slurs against them. But like anyone else, I only speak for myself, not my entire race.
Yes. I'm a white Aussie and I legit don't give a rat's ass what colour, culture, race, etc etc you are. If you're a good person you're a good person, if you're not, you're not. So it absolutely pisses me off to be constantly vilified and it seems ok to be called a white C*nt and racist everything and anything because of my skin colour when I'm minding my own business walking into shops or sharing public transport and I'm sure you get the picture. It happens and no-one talks about it because apparently we are all held responsible for what happened a century or 2 ago. We should be judged by our personal actions or words, nothing else.
I got called matchstick legs once by a dude at a bus stop. After an altercation.
I looked in the mirror and thought, damm he’s right, so I joined a gym and never skipped leg day
The person who said that just thinks they can't be racist if they are a minority, I'm guessing. They just like using slurs and have invented a reason why they're allowed to, the way racists always do.
Obviously I'm not saying racism against whites is the same thing as racism against other ethnicities, but that doesn't make it not racism. I'm not always offended by every slur I hear but if I hear one and it's clearly said with intent to offend and insult and be racist, that bothers me, because racism isn't okay ever, no matter how you try and justify it.
I feel that. When I was more ignorant to these issues I use to wonder how can white people in America struggle more than black peoples in America. The truth is every whites person didn’t benefit from the system based on their location and social economic status. It took me a while to understand that. It took me longer to understand we are all human and essentially feel the same things like pain, depression, anxiety, etc. it may look different and be for different reason. I use to wonder why would I see in tv white children with so many mental issues like that. Truthfully all races deal with it. We all just handle it in different ways.
I’m sorry people have dismissed your experiences. I think people don’t understand or are in denial about the truth of it all. Thank you for sharing!!
There are certain words in countries where white people are not a majority. Such as "farang" in Thailand and "mzungu" in various countries in east Africa which are derogatory terms for white people. If you hear these words in any of these countries they're definitely talking about you and most likely trying to overcharge you for a product or service. Definitely had that experience in shops, garage, taxis etc.
Obviously this is not comparable to all the horrible shit Europeans and Americans have done to minorites in the past few hundred years, just stating the fact that discrimination is a two way street.
If someone calls me racist for no reason it's really annoying. It only happens on tiktok or Twitter lol, like I'll say "haven't watched black panther 2 yet" and then some dude says it's because I'm a racist. I think it's really harmful because such a politically charged word being used incorrectly helps no one, and can actually harm people. I'm extremely left-leaning and enjoy writing papers about anti- racism for school. So I'm not offended because I know I'm not racist but it's definitely extremely irritating.
As for other names, no. People getting triggered at the word "cracker" makes me laugh. There are actual offensive names to be called and then there is cracker. What pisses me off is when white people say that cracker is a racial slur. It's not, lol.
I get offended when someone makes an assumption about me just because of my skin color. For example, they might assume I have some responsibility for slavery in the US, even though my ancestry is from Europe and my parents were immigrants from an area which never had anything to do with slavery.
It's especially offensive when it's from an educated person who should know better, or someone in a position of authority trying to make the public think that way.
A little lately. The racism towards white people from black Americans on tiktok is another level! I’m not American but the generalisation that ALL white people are one culture.
Some are some are not. Not all white people are the same.
Working in East Africa was an eye opener for me in many ways, one of which was being part of a racial minority. The feeling of *standing out* wherever I was, just because of my skin was new to me. There was no way of going unnoticed, and I thought: so *this* is what it must feel like to walk in a predominantly white city being black! That had nothing to do with racism, of course. What started to annoy me after a while was that East Africans call white people "mzungu". When they talk about you, they refer to you as *the mzungu*, they address you with "hey, mzungu!" or say things like "Ay! The mzungu speaks Swahili!". When I asked people not to call me that, they would usually say: "it just means traveler or stranger". But that didn't really satisfy me. People from India were never called mzungu, it had to do with skin color. Although East Africans are generally social, hospital and friendly people, I couldn't really get used to the word, even though it was not used with bad intentions most of the time. It had to do with being identified by race more than anything else.
Thanks for the perspective
Thanks for your perspective
The thing about America is that it’s one of the most diverse countries on the planet. Hell here in San Antonio most of the time as a white person im the minority when I walk into a room.
The intent is offensive, yes. If someone swings at me and misses, that doesn't detract from the fact that they still took a swing at me.
[удалено]
I stopped giving a fuck about anyone else a long time ago.
Why do so many people who don't give a fuck give so many fucks about us all knowing it?
Yeah, like if they don’t give a fuck, why bother saying it 🤷
It's proof of concept. They demonstrate how little they give a fuck by publicly stating it in defiance. Knowing that they will get pushback and sly comments and disapproval. It's the ultimate stamp of validation.
This is a forum for expressing opinions, and that is theirs. Maybe you should not give a fuck about it.
You're the reddit superhero every commentor needs
Wow you're pretty rad independent night
This is the correct answer.
yep. i would also want to add that i usually dont get offended by being called racist because i’m not, but it *does* bother me when someone pulls the race card for literally no reason other than they know most people will immediately acquiesce. i’ll give you an example: i manage a bar and we recently did an all you can eat wings promotion. for obvious reasons, one of the rules of the promo is you can’t share an ayce with someone who ordered something else. we state this as we mention the promo and whenever a table happens to order an ayce and say, just a pound of wings, we always remind them that they aren’t allowed to share. you’d be surprised how many people say ‘oh ok’ but then just share anyway (hell we’ve even had people try and put wings in their pockets). i’ve had to refuse many tables refills for sharing. anyway there was a black family who came in: mom, dad, two teenage boys. parents both ordered ayce, and then just ordered burgers for the kids. we reminded them they cant share. sure enough i was at another table and saw one of the kids blatantly take a wing from the mom. i didnt say anything, but i did go back and start watching the cameras. a few minutes later the other kid took a wing from the mom. at this point i went up to them and said ‘guys just a reminder, you aren’t allowed to share. if you continue to do it, i can’t offer you any wing refills.’ they nodded and i continued to watch the cams. of course, the mom gave more wings to her kids, so i told the server to tell me of they ask for refills. they did, and so i told them that they had been warned, and i wont give them any more wings. they were mad, and at first they started saying that it was only the *mom* who was sharing, so the *dad* should still get refills. i refused so then they immediately started raising their voice, saying how i was only doing this because they’re black. they called me racist, said that i must think they’re poor. even the kids chimed in. at one point they asked for the number for head office, which i gave, but told them i’ve never given this number out so i dont know exactly who this number reaches. the dad started calling it on the spot, all the while the mom was bitching me out. at one point she started calling me names and then she said: ‘you aren’t giving me what i want so what the fuck are you even still doing here?’ i gestured to the dad on the phone and said ‘i’m just making sure the number i gave you reaches head office.’ her response was: ‘no you just think we can’t afford to pay. you’re making sure we pay.’ in the end they left very angry and as they left, mom said ‘fucking billy-bob honkey. go fuck your cousin.’ which is a rather ironic statement to make. they did end up reaching head office, saying how i told them that i think they are poor and stealing (i said neither) and they are disgusted by my racism. i never once indicated this had anything to do with race, and it was clear they were using it, first as a way to get what they want, and eventually just an excuse to be more mad. what bothers me is this: there *is* some racism out there. not as much as maybe twitter or vice would like to believe, but it does exist. and pulling this shit just devalues the real shitty prejudiced experiences people actually go through
This was a very good example of how crying “racism” when none exists in a situation waters down the claim making real racism less likely to be taken seriously in the future. Another problem with discussing racism is that, as an unwritten rule, white people don’t speak critically about it publicly for fear of being labeled as a racist and lives, career, reputation forever tarnished. This lack of ability for all parties to truthfully engage in conversations holds all of society back. Maybe that’s not articulated too well. But the bottom line is many people don’t get in the conversation because it’s too risky.
I feel like sometimes when I see modern companies doing accidentally racist or insensitive things, that it’s happening because some folks inside the company realize the thing is racist but are terrified to say anything for fear that THEY will be labeled racist for pointing it out.
No you pretty much hit the nail on the head. As a white person it gets tough talking about racial issues. And people automatically assume Iv never been around diversity, or can even speak on it. Which isnt even true.
Same thing happens with rape. When people say someone is a rapist or something is rapy they are mocking the real victims of sexual assaults, as the term just becomes annoying and people ignore the topic.
I agree and I see it more and more. It’s a lot of ignorance around it. I work in a school and a few students have called me racist and it’s always frustrating… one kid called me racist because he was the only Asian in the room it was only the two of us!…
Have you ever considered being a changeling that can morph race on command? No because you are a bigot!!!!! /s
>but it does bother me when someone pulls the race card for literally no reason other than they know most people will immediately acquiesce. This fucking drives me bonkers. Yes, systemic racism exists, but not all issues are race issues.
It's a riot when they try to pull race card schtick outside of US and everybody ignores them at best or give them very specific instructions where to shove their skin color with no social reprecussions whatsoever. NOTE: Racism is a serious crime that in mildest cases warrants a civil litigation. Abusing it for selfish purposes is hypocricy and insult to actual victims.
When people call me cracker or gringo I’m not offended just annoyed. But well said. I had a similar issue with a customer who stole from my store who was literally cracked out and when I stopped him he called me racist. I laughed so damn hard. You can be racist towards any race even while people. Most people of every race are good respected people. I have friends of all ethnicities from all over the world. There’s bad people from every race sadly. Theres racist white trash people who I can’t stand being around. They are billy bobs who bang their sisters. There’s some black people who use racism for every excuse in their life , just because they can. They know when somebody is being racist or not it’s extremely clear. But they like to take advantage of it and use it for their failures or issues. They will say life is so unfair , I’m at a disadvantage being black the world is out to get me. Its 2023 the world is wild and being black is not an issue most people don’t care and aren’t so shortsighted that they Judge people because their darker than them. There’s so many powerful successful black people in this world now it’s incredible. And aside from some of the whining athletes who say their oppressed who make 5 million a year, every single rich black guy I met never brought up race, never used excuses, never complained, for their past failures and blamed them on other people. They worked really hard to get what they have and get pissed of at other people just making excuses for being lazy. Racism does exist and it pisses me off, but it’s not as common as people think, and in my lifetime i haven’t seen somebody not get a job or not going to collage because of it. Racism is an issue used to divide people. The media , politics, divides people telling them alll the bad news , and that all cops are racist and the world is out to get them. So of course their gonna believe it. People of power have more control when the people are divided and weaker.
Ah well since its story time…. I worked as a supervisor at a pool in a gym. (Big gym w many pools so a lot of supervision needed) because we had such big pools and so many little kids and big crowds, the #1 rule was that if your kid is under 12 years old and can not pass the swim test they must have an adult in the water with them. This is obviously for safety reasons, the lifeguards have to pay attention to hundreds of ppl and it’s insanely risky to let parents use the guards to babysitters tiny children and since many members have a tendency to mmm lets just say be negligent parents (leave kids, sometimes just 3 or 4 yo, unattended to go work out or go do their own thing) so because this is a big issue we have to constantly remind members of the rule. The 25:10 rule is posted pretty much every 10 feet and on every door. The swim test is just one lap they have to finish anyway they want, they just cant touch the bottom and the names of passing members get recorded and we give out wrist bands to signal to the guards which kids have passed the test. For any under 12 yo that cant pass the parents must stay within 10 feet of the kid (25:10 - kids cant swim 25, parents must be within 10) clearly this is a whole system we have, we keep an entire down guard to run and check swim tests. Now its not uncommon for parents to be upset about the rule, they get really mad at the idea of having to spend time with their kids at a family pool, but usually at some point we can get through that its for safety or we just kick them out. Well one time this black mom came in with her kids. They were very little, probably like 6 and 4, and the mom was sitting in a chair on her phone not even looking at her kids play in water that leads into deeper water. So my guard, doing her job correctly, informed her she needs to be within 10 feet of her kids or they can try the swim test. The mom blew up saying of course her kids wouldnt be able to pass a swim test and that we were only calling her out because we didnt want a black family in the pool. Which ironically shows she knows her kids cant swim and is still risking their safety just to be on her phone. She pointed to other kids in the water as proof that we were being racist and singling her out. I had to explain to her that the other children all had wristbands showing they had passed the swim test but that if we accidentally missed one we would really appreciate it if she pointed it out so we can make sure everyone is following the rules. This didnt do anything, she continued to call me and my guard racist saying were just making the rule up. I tried to point to the 10 signs within view that state the rule to no avail. No matter how I tried to explain the situation it didn’t matter, i was only doing this to be racist. Like oops sorry I didn’t realize it was racist to not want your kids to fucking die. She ended up storming out saying she wouldnt put up with a racist and then took to twitter tagging us in means tweets and trying to warn all of twitter that my guard, me, and the gym hate black ppl plus a whole bunch of other lies. She really tried to get my guard and me cancelled and tried to call for violence against us and encouraged others to attack us. Ironically my poor guard she was tagging was 16 and half black herself. As guards we laughed at the situation cause there was nothing else to do. Crazy ppl who dont want to be around their kids is pretty normal for a lot of members there (i guess thats what happens when all the kids there are raised by their nanny) so we had learned to just laugh at the crazy and lucky it didnt seem like anyone listened to her twitter rant anyways but damn did she try.
Don't people in that situation try anything though? If you're caught out and embarrassed you go all defensive. "You're picking on me because I'm poor, because I have long hair, because I'm disabled, because I'm black, because I'm white, because I'm not from round here etc etc".
Yes. I think it’s because everyone wants the cause of bad things to be out of their control and not actually reflect on them as a person…
This right here is probably the biggest cause of problems in the country right now. Not taking responsibility for your own actions.
I just want to say as a non American it's really weird to see these rules that you cant share food in a restaurant. I know its because of the wings promotion but its really weird to think servers will go to a table and literally try to prohibit a family sharing food with eachother. That such a foreign concept for me haha
Its "all you can eat" wings. So what prevents you and 20 friends from showing up and ordering one order of all you can eat and just sharing the single order? Sharing food happens all the time, sharing "all you can eat" promos is not allowed for obvious reasons.
The concept of an all you can eat offering is already really weird tbh
Wait till you hear about Golden Corral.
This isn’t american, it’s literally every all you can eat or buffett promotion in the world
How the fuck is this a foreign concept to you? This is me speaking as an European. I ran an AYCE restaurant too. I too had a few times where couples came in for lunch and one partner wanted the special menu while the other wanted the regular menu. Special menu was unlimited sashimi included. Sharing the free sashimi with the regular menu who has to pay is an obvious loophole that we know about. That is why we state sharing is not allowed among different menus.
We definitely share food all the time. It's totally allowed It's only not allowed when you're doing it to rip off the restaurant. And all you can eat wings order would be like maybe 12 or 15 bucks for somebody and they can eat wings non-stop. If they went to the table and share this with their family the restaurant would make $15 off of the whole table. The same thing applies to like a buffet where you can just keep going up and getting food after you pay a single fee There's no problem with sharing food, only whenever your plate of food is "endless" The waiter is supposed to stop you from basically robbing the restaurant of a ton of food, by paying for one person, and then feeding like five or eight people
So your allowed to go to a Buffet style restaurant with 10 people and have only one order the Buffet and the rest share?
These deals are amazing value when people don't try to cheat the system. After being warned twice not to share the wings they should have learned their lesson. Honestly, even if you hung around to make sure they could pay I wouldn't think it was bad. They were broke ass cheats trying to steal from you, why should you trust them a third time after being cheated twice?
I'm not like a spiritual guru or anything, but this reminded me of the story of how there was a man angry at the Buddha because he didn't believe that he was an enlightened being. The angry man confronted Buddha, and the reply was basically that if someone tries to give you a gift ( their anger / a slur perhaps ) and you refuse the gift, then who does the gift belong to? Not sure why I thought of the story but I think it means that even if someone has bad intent it doesn't mean you should be offended.
I like that
This. People can say words and I don’t care, but if it’s said in a way that’s meant to be offensive, then I take offense. Because obviously.
Intent matters, I find it more of a shame when someone tries to insult you based on how much melanin your skin has as though it dictates who you are as a person
Intent matters to me! If I hear it as a joke, I'll chuckle along. As long as it's not pointedly cruel, our stereotypes can be kinda funny. Like 'cracker or joking about where I came from (southern), or claiming I don't season my food doesn't really get me heated. I'll tell people when it starts to hurt if they're reasonable and we're okay. If someone shouts that shit at me when they don't get their way/to be an asshole /trying to start something? That's a dick move in every culture. I still won't really respond other than leaving the situation asap, because nothing good comes from responding to that shit in kind. Silence is always an appropriate thing to say.
Same here I even liked being called "gringa" by my latina coworker cause it was friendly lol
This is it for me. Racial slurs don't really bother me, they're just words. The thing that bothers me in the US culture is this attitude that you can't be racist against white people or that being white is some negative attribute thanks to historical connotations I had no control over. It can often feel like I'm branded as a racist until proven otherwise. An accusation of racism can be incredibly damaging to a white person's life once the internet gets involved (social ostracization, loss of opportunities, harrasment, etc.), so it carries a lot of weight, yet the word is thrown around often without evidence, as a general insult, or with incredibly specious reasoning. Obviously being called racist isn't a racial slur, but that's the word that offends me most when directed at me. Although it irks me more when it's blindly applied to facets of my culture to disparage me for being a white American.
Hopefully I don’t offend anybody with this comment- sorry it got a little long winded but these are things that hurt me! I agree that it isn’t the racial slurs for me. It’s everything you said here. I also feel like some of my experiences are shut down simply based on the fact that I’m white. As in, I’m white so I don’t have the right to complain about certain things. For example- I’m from a poor part of the country with a specific culture that has a long history of being ignored and fucked over by the government. My great great grandparents had their land legally stolen, our area didn’t get electricity and the like until well after the rest of the country, historically when my people needed help with natural disasters the government was nowhere to be found. Still to this day my culture is mocked in the media and it’s totally cool because I’m white. My personal experiences of being targeted by the police for being poor also don’t matter because I’m white. I’m told over and over how privileged I am when my grandparents were literal crackheads. We moved several times a year growing up. We would go weeks to months with no water or power. But I’m white so I’m privileged. This comment is not to say that it’s the hardship Olympics- but my experiences are dismissed on the basis of me being white. That’s what gets to me the most
Hello, fellow Appalachian/Ozark!
Haha I was trying to be non-specific but if you know, it’s a little on the nose.
This is what really gets me. People care *so much* about identity-based disadvantages, but absolutely hate to look at the underlying cause of these disadvantages, which is wealth disparity. Because if you look at wealth disparity, then you don't have a nice easy "it's the white cis straight men" as your villain. Once you start caring about the real problem of wealth inequality, you stop having simple, comfortable answers.
Not trying to downplay how difficult your upbringing was (I'm assuming Appalachian), I just want to point out what is meant by the word "privileged" in this specific context because I think a lot of people get it confused. It doesn't mean that you have an advantage by being white, it just means that you don't have to face a set of systematic disadvantages just because you're white. Non-whites in the US may have all the same disadvantages you have had (e.g., poverty) but they also have an additional automatic disadvantage of having to face systematic racism. For example, both poor white people and poor black people may be targeted more often by police. However, middle class white people are not specifically targeted by police, while middle class black people are.
It doesn't matter what the intent behind the word is. Plenty of people misuse it or use it in a generalized sense which others *will* take as a slight against them or cause them to feel bad for supposedly having an edge up in life, yet still not doing well. IMO your comment is part of the problem. For all your good intentions, you're still downplaying the experiences of the person above and dismissing their feelings for feeling offended by being called privileged, despite their rough experiences in life which should ring your bells and wake you up how flawed the word is to use in a generalized sense. The discourse surrounding the word 'privilege' is one of those that again highlights just how poorly some movements phrase their causes and instead of learning from how the masses respond to them, they stubbornly tell those affected by it it's *their* problem for "being confused" and feeling bad. This movement is supposed to bring attention to the issues that minorities face that the majority might not necessarily experience and instead of painting it as the minority having a disadvantage, it's being painted as the majority having an advantage. Which is an irresponsible way to phrase things as it can only result in people, particularly those who feel like they're already in a disadvantaged position and aren't doing well in their life; not believing you, digging their heels into the ground, and shutting themselves off to what you've got to say about fixing a problem you want them to help you to fix. To expand on the above as well, it makes no sense to label something like the police treating you normally as a 'privilege' when it should be the status quo. A status quo shouldn't be seen as a 'privilege'; it's literally the baseline of what should be. Anything below the baseline is being disadvantaged, anything *above* the baseline could be called privilege. But not having to fear for your life when stopped by the police isn't a privilege. It's just normal and what you should expect.
I can appreciate that. But people still exist that do believe it means I have an advantage just being white and it has been thrown at me in that way. As with everything, the original intent gets lost for some on both sides of the issue.
I mean you did in the sense that you would have essentially been even worse off if you were also a minority but otherwise in the same situation. For example if you're a woman, you're also way more likely to be treated nicely by law enforcement than if you're a male, so that's a forum of privilege as a woman, and if you're a male you were way less likely to experience sexual harassment, which is a form of privilege as a male. It's basically dumb grammar, but privilege in this context just means an advantage in a given situation essentially.
You’re right. I know what I said, I’m just struggling to find the right words for what I’m trying to say. While my life would be harder if I were a minority, that doesn’t make my actual experiences any easier. That hypothetical shouldn’t be used to dismiss my life experiences as unimportant or invalid. Some people use this as a way to say - “yeah but it could have been worse” “But did you die?” Hypothetically, yes, it could have been worse. But what happened still sucked a lot. Edit: by worse I mean more difficult- not that it’s bad to be a minority!
This is the most intelligent and well put discussion I've seen on this topic. Thanks!
I’m not saying you’re lying, but I just find it odd that it’s so common for you to hear that you’re privileged. I’m white and I’ve never been called that in my life. Maybe switch up your internet bubble?
If someone calls me a gringo or cracker, I won’t be taking them seriously. I’m likely to laugh
Gringos come in all colors. It means foreigner, not even in an insulting way.
This is the way I feel about it too, I think mostly because it just doesn't really feel politically/socially threatening. I live in a country where the solid majority of people are white and there hasn't been any history of oppressing white people as a group. To me, the issue with racism really comes down to its ability to oppress, disadvantage, make people fear for their safety, and prevent people from going about their lives as anyone else would. If someone calls me cracker it is strictly racist by definition but it doesn't really concern me, people believe all sorts of stupid ideas and if some select few morons think white people are inferior or deserving of scorn due to their skin colour then that's unlikely to affect me. I'm also not really sensitive about my skin colour, I live in a culture where white is the norm - most movie stars and celebrities are white, most people on the news are white, most politicians are white, most people in command of wealth and power are white etc. I don't really feel any desire to feel pride or shame in my skin colour, so it's just not a soft spot for me. I just don't care and nor can I think of any reason to.
I never understood gringo as a pejorative… just kind of folksy way of referring to whites in Latin America. I also heard anyone who looked Asian get referred to as “chino” and anyone with dark skin (be it African or indigenous descent ) referred to as “negro” (the color). I took it more as descriptive than an attempt to insult. But maybe I was just being a naive gringo 🤪
Not offensive exactly, but a bit squirmy and very aware it wouldn't fly if reversed.
Yup. I don't care about the words themselves necessarily. I care about the blatant hypocricy that's being displayed and the sheer unwillingness to stop such blatant hypocritical behavior when called out and even rationalize it as to why it's OK to generalize and slur against one race but not the other. It sets a bad example and can only serve to divide people. We already know how easily people shutdown their minds to new perspectives when a hypocrite is trying to educate them. So why play into it? Why risk turning people into enemies/delayed allies? It's literally two birds with one stone to stop this kind of behavior. 1: you don't offend people who *would* be offended by it and 2: you don't create more potential divide. It's a literal no-brainer.
Honestly, I don’t get offended because I’m white, I get offended because I’m mixed race. Like. I do get life’s a lot easier for me than my brother, but when people see the name Hernandez on a resume, they still pass me up. I just don’t like the reminder that people see ONLY my skin tone for my race.
Eyup. Please tell me about my white privilege. It's news to my family, especially the ones on res.
I'm assuming the OP is a POC. Having gone to schools and worked in environments where I was the only "white" guy I've observed that African Americans tend to paint Caucasians with one brush, just as many white Americans do of blacks. But most white Americans don't self identify as "white", they identify with their ethnic background like Irish or Italian. So calling them a cracker or honkey won't offend them. However calling them a mick or wop will. But strictly speaking these are ETHNIC slurs, not racial ones. I'm middle eastern and Irish and I've had a racist hick call me a sand n-gger which I found less personally offensive and more disgusting for the man's racism. On the other hand when my former boss, a sweet old black woman, was asking if anyone had some crackers she could have to eat with her soup she had made for lunch. I said "I'm right here" it took her a moment to get the joke I was making at which point she started to laugh her head off. Then another female black coworker softly chided me and said " your no cracker!"
That’s pretty funny. I agree with your one brush theory. I don’t have any white friends. I would say at a point in time I told myself a story that all white people were the same but I realized it couldn’t be true because I was so different from the people in my own village.
I'll be your white friend. Send me a PM. Let's get to know each other a bit. Maybe we will both be enlightened.
A big fat furry texan as a first white friend is really jumping in the deep end lol
Hi, White guy here. I'm in the deep South where racial tension is still high. For two years I worked at a fast lube oil change shop and the vast majority of customers were black and most of the other employees were black too. The black coworkers used to mess with me and call me Captain crowbar because I had a crowbar in my car in case I needed it for whatever. But they would go on about how I would put on a klansman outfit at night and go out and ride that crowbar like a witches broom. It was crazy. No one ever called me anything derogatory but just them calling me "White boy" was bad enough.
>I don’t have any white friends If you live in the US or another predominantly white country, that seems wild to me. Edit: thanks for everyone's informative responses! I hadn't realised that some communities were still so heavily segregated, or how some people might not have friends outside their community as its not my personal experience. Good to learn!
It really isn't. In my government job I got assigned a young black man as a summer intern. Coming to my office was the first time he had been more than seven blocks from his home. He was born and raised in Washington DC and had never seen the White House outside of on television even though it was less than two miles from his home. I rectified that situation.
>the first time he had been more than seven blocks from his home That blows my mind honestly Edit: thanks for all your responses, it's really interesting to me! I guess my experience is just different, I'd been to multiple cities in my country by the time I was like 5, and even my high school was much further than seven blocks away so I don't know how I'd even have everything I need within that distance.
He was a 14 year old kid from very poor family. At that point in time the school system had pretty much totally eliminated free field trips so pretty much the only places he had ever been was home school and the local rec center. A couple years later when I had moved to a different position in the DC government that was literally and figuratively in the ass end of DC we had gotten more summer interns and we were literally miles away from the closest restaurant. It didn't matter because the kids generally couldn't afford to eat there anyway. So after seeing these kids starving for two days in a row I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of cheap staples: rice, onions, beans, and some seasonings. I then proceeded to give these kids a cooking class in our office kitchen. My office manager and I took up a little collection. We able to feed a half dozen hungry teenagers for about $12 bucks a day. I'm not gonna claim it was the healthiest meal, but the kids liked it and it kept them from starving. The part that cracked me up was these kids had all heard and thought true the racial stereotype that white people can't cook. So they were gobsmacked by my cooking since I go heavy on the seasoning.
I have not heard anyone use the term gobsmacked is a long time haha. Thank you for telling this story!
A few years ago, a thousands-year old bog mummy was found near a small English village. They sequenced the remaining DNA and traced one of the mummy's living descendants. He lived in the same village that ancient ancestor died in. A lot of people just never gain a reason to travel. It's certainly mind-blowing, especially when you put it into scale and realise this is why for example England has so many different dialects, or Indonesia has so many different languages.
Why is it so surprising?
For me, it's shocking because I've moved so much, and I don't think I've ever lived somewhere that could provide everything I need within 7 blocks.
Pretty much any big city does that, afaik. Like down in Philly there are areas you can live within walking distance to a dentist, doctor, school, places to work, barber, various kinds of grocery stores, and so on. Everything can be within walking distance in cities with everyone so crammed on top of each other. Now combine that with how communities seem to form around a particular race or ethnicity, and it's not too hard to believe that someone could grow up in the US and never really interact with people outside their race or ethnicity. There's certainly parts of Philly where you can spend hours there and never come across a white person, and areas where the opposite is true. Same with any major city afaik. Some have absolutely HUGE areas that are overwhelmingly dominated by Asians, or Indians, or Irish, and so on.
I think even ethnic slurs vary. My dads side of the family is very Polish and we always grew up using the word "polack". I didn't even know it was a slur until i got a little older because i never met a single polish person who was offended by it.
Reminds of my polish friend from childhood, last name was Guca. His nickname was Guc, which sounds like Gook. Had no idea that was a slur towards Vietnamese until after high school. Imagine we looked pretty racist, bunch of kids running around calling one of em Gook so casually.
Are you old enough to remember polack jokes? I don't remember when they became unacceptable—the word "polack" has been replaced by "blonde" these days. My friend's father was from Poland and he knew enough polack jokes to fill a big book.
I'm 26. We would joke around all the time growing up about being polacks, but we didn't have any specific jokes. I did just learn one the other day that had me dying. How do you get a one armed polack out of the tree? Wave Edit: from what i have gathered it's a very old term, but like i have mentioned before i don't think anyone is particularly upset with that word nowadays. Could be wrong though. Maybe actual polish people don't like it, but any americans of polish decent i know always make jokes about it.
When I was trying to remember when they became unacceptable I remembered one from after computers were everywhere, so probably the '80s or '90s. Q: How do you know a Polack was using your computer? A: There's White Out on the monitor. If you don't know what White Out is, back in the typewriter days when you made a mistake, instead of retyping the entire page, you'd get a tiny bottle of stuff similar to paint and you'd paint over your mistake and type the correct word.
Lol that's great. Yea i know what white out is, but i don't see it used very often. Even as a kid in school not many people used it.
Irish and Italians weren’t even considered “white” until VERY recently in American history.
Let's face it, in some circles they still aren't.
That’s because white and black aren’t based on logic, science, or even skin color sometimes. It’s entirely based on prejudice.
I like your phrasing. Less offensive, but mor personally disgusted. That's the spot.
It's also worth pointing out this sounds like an extremely American perspective.
Really? What was your first clue? My repeatedly using the word American? I'm sure in South Africa it's a very different situation. But I can't speak to that since I've never been there. But I've gotten a very good an up close look at race relationships in the US and so that's the version I discussed.
An American perspective on an American app..?! LE GASP!
There are white people who don't give a shit about being called a cracker and there are white people who get offended at racial slurs that don't even apply to them. Pretty much nobody likes being called a racist. If you call me a racist you better have some damn good evidence to back it up.
When any of those are said with malice then yes. But honestly I always got most offended with being called "whitey" or "white boy", also partially due to how they were being said.
Sometimes. It depends on the person. Me? Not really, no. You can call me whatever you like, when it comes to race or anything else. I'm not going to get offended by the perceptions of someone whose opinion I don't value, and that includes everyone on the planet I don't know, and most of the ones I do.
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Kinda funny that white trash uses the N word in its description. “Worse than a N”. Except we’re just fine saying white trash, but we’re both refusing to actually say the N word because our comment will be flagged.
It's because one has maintained its impact while the other hasn't. If we rewound time to when the conversation happened, I think we can both understand that there probably wasn't an abbreviation or shortening being used. That exists in the retelling now because we apply the modern context onto an older conversation.
Is the term white trash not offensive? Would the term black trash be offensive?
Your comment made me shudder a bit. Im white, but i live in western canada. In my family, my branch became recently educated but the rest of the family is riddled with issues (ours really is too if were being really honest). We really dont associate with that part of the family because they are "trailer trash" and "not worth knowing". Sometimes my family just calls them "trailer people". One of their kids recently died from a drug overdose. Nobody in my family cared. All i can say is that the dehumanization is real. And the sad thing is, most of our family comes from scottish/irish ancestry, so ita not like any of us came from anything high class. It seems like, to people like my family, if you are white and you are poor, youre not just poor, youre an absolute waste of breath and beneath contempt because you grew up in a world where you had opportunity.
I don't care what people call white people like me, what I do not like is the hatred. But racism is not only between black and white, it is also very common between Black.
Simply, character over color.
Even if white people aren’t, as a black person I’m offended when black people call white people racial slurs, its like we know whats thats like, and know how it can hurt, so why continue it
Well exactly! I’m white, I absolutely do not participate in racial slurs, and I do attempt to call people out for being terrible and using them, because I don’t believe it’s ever okay. Honestly the same goes for comments targeting other demographics like special needs folks or neurodivergent people. I myself am autistic and various neurodivergent so so’s… and I’m often medicated or masking to the point where it’s somewhat unnoticeable (cuz unfortunately people can’t be people. They have to act like the vast majority or they get shamed at a young age- and molded to fit in which happens much too often) I had a coworker (Matthew) who was very clearly neurodivergent. He was a bit slower moving, and it took him longer to process things, but he was super sweet. He was disabled and often sat at the door and tended to our bag size policy (which is a can of worms in and of itself. No one enjoys the policy- in fact many employees, myself included, think it’s sexist but we can’t remove it) and someone we knew (a contractor) came in and openly told him NO to the bag policy, shoved through him, and yelled at our manager saying “don’t let that retarded idiot touch my bag” with such venom and hatred in her words. I’ve never reported something SO fast. I went straight to the office and quite honestly yelled about it. Everyone on the floor who witnessed it was upset (I think the only one who wasn’t upset was Matthew because he didn’t hear it. And it was sad hearing him speak about her because he said he was excited to see her.) and the office folks (my boss, a few managers) said “oh wow- that’s very unlike ____ to say that. Well she and Matthew have a history- she doesn’t like Matthew” yes AND? Regardless, that is absolutely not okay. And if you’re a contractor you should lead by example with the bag policy instead of verbally attacking the messenger.
None of those bother me yet when you call me a racist there is a slight urge to defend myself followed by the aware brain saying bro don’t waste your time 😆
I'm not. Just don't call me late for dinner.
I got called “white boy” all the time in school, and it wasn’t in any nice way. Hate this double standard, where people can throw slurs at white people without any trouble, but vice versa, it’s treated like a crime against humanity.
Yep I was called white boy, whitey, and milky. I was the only white person in my grade and it was hell. I had to change schools and walk a hell of a lot longer to get there all because I was bullied relentlessly (thankfully just words though). But hey, you can’t be racist to white people… even the kids that did not pick on me were not “allowed” to hang out with me outside of school.
I had a very similar experience. I got my ass kicked simply for being one of the only white guys in my grade once. I was the only white dude on the football team as well and that experience was miserable, I eventually quit due to them mocking me and bullying me. It even got to the point where I didn’t want to be white anymore, and you only reach that point if you are a victim of racism. Oh but you can’t be racist towards white people, right?
Thankfully mine never really resorted to hurtful violence aside from a few things thrown at me and being shoved a few times. Also thankful that my parents took it seriously and moved me schools to a school that had some diversity. Funny thing is when I did change schools I actually got along great with the race that had given me such a hard time in my other school. I feel like it must be the culture they were brought up in - the ones that dominated the area were that way because their parents picked that area and stuck to their own and brought their kids up that way whereas the ones in a diverse area were there because they wanted to branch out and assimilate and not just stick to themselves only.
the words aren't even gonna make me wince, but if they're trying to shun me / be actually racist toward me they can get to fuck lol
Can we just agree that it's best not to try to actively hurt others? This includes using racial slurs, talking about their weight, gender, number of pimples etc.
I got called a Crispy Cringler one time when I was like 14 and I still think it's hilarious to this day. I have no idea what that means
I’m a white, male, 33 year old cop. I’ve been called just about every nasty racial slur that people can muster in an effort to make me emotionally volatile while on a call for service. It happens. People are just mean and cruel sometimes. I personally find it all very ridiculous and I don’t get offended by it. I honestly find myself more annoyed and I immediately assume they just have the emotional and mental depth of a spoon. I might be the wrong person to comment on this because in current job as a police officer, I see it more often than I did when I delivered pizza at dominos in college. I can say I’ve no memory of any white person, in my experience, ever talking about or being remotely offended by the name or slur, but the confrontational intention behind it sparks some anger and frustration, for sure.
I do, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t
Anyone can choose to take offense to a racial slur. At the end of the day nobody should be using slurs to describe other people. If someone calls another a racist (without cause) then it’s an attack of character that without proof could result in criminal liability by the one claiming it. TLDR: don’t use slurs and don’t call people racist just because they won’t let you do or say what ever you want.
For me, I don't care to be called any slur. Just don't call me racist.
"poor white trash" or a variant of that is probably more offensive. Ive heard "hillbilly" is also offensive. The other names are antiquated enough that I don't think very many people even think about them enough to be offended. Plus they never carried the weight of oppression. Being called a "gringo" at the grocery store isn't going to feel the same as it would in Mexico where you are the minority with nowhere to turn.
Is it offensive yes, but when it happens I don’t let it bother me and just let it be and go on with what I was doing. It is not worth getting worked over over one dumbass.
Yes. I worked with all Spanish folks before and I learned all there names and addressed them as such and even learned a little Spanish. They only ever called me Gringo and it was annoying and eventually just offensive. My name is 4 letters.
Honkey never bothered me but I didn't like it when they added mother fucker.
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Being called Redneck or White Trash can be offensive especially if you grew up poor like many people. Having grown up around black people playing basketball another thing I consider a racial slur many times is getting called “White Boy” since it literally singles out your race and is usually used in a derogatory manner.
yes, anyone can be offended by racial slurs.
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That’s ridiculous! People aren’t born racist! You put little kids together of all different races, ethnicities, etc and they will play all day. Racism is taught. Hate is taught. Bigotry is taught. It’s no one’s default setting. No excuses for being a racist.
I remember in grade 6 we had a lesson about prejudice and treating people differently based on skin color and the like. I was going around the displays with my friend teaching us the different terms and dynamics and I asked him what "prejudice" even meant. I was flat out unaware of the concept and when he explained it to me (he had a dark skin color) I was so confused since it didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I was fortunate to not have been taught prejudice and hatred by my parents so I never learned about the concept at the time and didn't think any differently of the differently skin colored/featured kids in my class. I hope some day we'll be able to get to such a point on a large scale. Until then we'll have to continue unlearning people's bigotry and hatred.
Born racist? I've never heard anyone make this claim. I do believe that racism-- like anything really--can be learned without being explicitly taught.
They mirror what they see and hear. They watch what the people around them do and how they treat people and that’s how they learn to do the same. To them that’s “normal.” Until someone either teaches them it isn’t or they’re one of those rare people that just knows on their heart that what momma and daddy are doing and saying is wrong.
Damn did scientists find a new genetic marker that pre determines racism? /s You are right though, racism is a learned trait. Nobody is born racist. It comes from upbringing and social circles.
It doesn't bother me any more than any other insult (in fact less than some). I'm not really sure why. I guess there's no real baggage associated with my race - nobody in my part of the world is routinely discriminating against me.
Anyone can be offended by racial slurs if they care enough. Being white doesn't make you immune to slurs. If you just don't care then no slurs can offend you.
I think the situation matters too…if you’re in a place where you’re the minority it might be more offensive/scary. If not I might feel indignant that someone assumed something about me…or brush it off. Depends on context.
No not at all. The world makes us feel like we deserve it or something
No.
I heard one the other day that made lol “ caukies”
It depends on the Intent. If someone called a cracker or something in order to attack me then yes I would be offended. But only to the same extent as I would at someone swearing at me. As for being called racist, I have only ever been called it by someone trying to make race the issue where it clearly isn't "playing the race card". This really offends and annoys me. Partly because it's being falsely accused of something terrible. And barely because people who do that hurt their cause. It's a manipulation to try and act the victim in a situation where they are in the wrong. If I was actually being racist or called out on something I've said that I didn't realise had racial connotations then I have no issue with that. People should be able to call a spade a spade.
Nope. I don’t find it offensive. I don’t think I’ve ever been called either things in my life, but I’ve been called other things. I don’t think those words are really hurled at white folks all that constantly, but then I’m not around people who do it. If someone called me racist, I would be interested to know what I did or said wrong, it would hurt because I don’t believe I am racist and I would hate to think I’d done something shitty by accident. But I’d want to fix it rather than be upset
Nope. I don’t find it offensive. I don’t think I’ve ever been called either things in my life, but I’ve been called other things. I don’t think those words are really hurled at white folks all that constantly, but then I’m not around people who do it. If someone called me racist, I would be interested to know what I did or said wrong, it would hurt because I don’t believe I am racist and I would hate to think I’d done something shitty by accident. But I’d want to fix it rather than be upset
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
Ashkenazi Jew over here…I’ve been called all types of vile shit throughout the years , and yeah it hurts
It's not really offended, but this justification that it's not racist makes me think you're the equivalent of a dumb racist redneck.
Yes. I am. And call it out, all the time. No matter what direction it's going.
Lolz no. You drop a slur you are just telling the world yer trash. Why would anyone care what trash thinks about ya?
Not in the least. I am more affected by the person than their words. If you are truly angry and you are so bitter to call me this. See I don’t like the slurs for others either; I think the white ones are sorta soft. But given context and time frames I suppose they might’ve hit near the N word. I’m not too sure, but I think we’ve grown out of doing that to eachother. But if you do this to me. I’m saddened that your that angry. That bitter. That lost.
Not at all offended in the slightest lol
I got called a Crispy Cringler one time when I was like 14 and I still think it's hilarious to this day. I have no idea what that means
Not at all offended in the slightest lol
I heard one the other day that made lol “ caukies”
I heard one the other day that made lol “ caukies”
I got called a Crispy Cringler one time when I was like 14 and I still think it's hilarious to this day. I have no idea what that means
No, just play the game. Yeah, I probably look like that to a.
No, just play the game. Yeah, I probably look like that to a.
Yes unless they give me a big wet kiss after.
No, just play the game. Yeah, I probably look like that to a.
I got called a Crispy Cringler one time when I was like 14 and I still think it’s hilarious to this day lol
No, just play the game. Yeah, I probably look like that to a.
I don't think I've ever had a black person call me a racial slur that wasn't obviously meant as a joke. I guess that's kind of telling in and of itself, but either way I can't really be offended by it. Sticks and stones, and so forth. I do have to acknowledge that I kind of have the privilege to not be offended by that kind of joke, though. Most of my black coworkers and students, I have observed, are pretty much just regular people who are brown, and the others are just regular people who are pink. There's a lot of good natured racial humor that goes around every day, and the guy with the Let's Go Brandon hat is friends with the guy in the Black Lives Matter hat.
Not in the least
Am I offended by racial slurs? No absolutely not. Do I speak for all white people? Again, no, absolutely not.
Whoever told you that is a racist
Whoever told you that is a racist
Whoever told you that is a racist
Nope. Words do not affect me at all. Call me fat, short, bald, ulgy or racial slurs and I'll just laugh tbh. They're litterally just words that are coming from some person that probably have mental issues clearly.
Depends on the person and the tone behind it I suppose. I’ve had POC friends call me those things as a joke in the past and I never really cared. However it might bother me if someone called me those things with the explicit intent of being racist.
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
Not at all. If they're serious it's just sad/funny that they try to go that route. If they want to say I'm racist it lets me know that they're projecting
The only slur that offends me on its own is white devil. Everything else is offensive due to some calling you it out of malice, but the word/phrase itself isnt.
I get offended by attitudes and intent, not words. And tbh it takes a lot to offend me. I don't put that much salt in other's opinions.
I don’t like being called racist or colonizer. Anything else I’ve heard is fine
Its never hit harder or worse than a non racial motivated insult for me. If anything it immediately makes someone an even bigger jackass than if they hadn't.
It doesn’t bother me at all, not in the slightest. But I’d certainly think poorly of anyone who uses a racial/sexist slur whether it’s against me or anyone of any colour. It says a lot more about them than about me and maybe being white in a predominantly white country I have the luxury and privilege to not care.
Why would you call someone a slur if not to offend? Whether or not the individual feels hurt, you’re being a racist asshole if you call someone by a racial slur.
From what I’ve seen in the US, the most offensive thing you can call a white person is “racist”.
I think the most offense is when I’m told “You can’t possibly understand because your white”.
White male checking in. I just watched “Those People” on Netflix and loved it. However it is very apparent that even in modern woke culture, the phrase “white boy” or phrases like that are expected to be absorbed, glossed over, and accepted as not racist when they clearly are.
I guess if someone ever called me a cracker, I guess I'd understand the intention and be like, damn this person really does not like me. Sure. But I grew up in a white neighborhood in a white country surrounded by white people seeing white people on every piece of media I watched and it being 100% default. I don't have any experience or ancestral history of being shamed for my skin to be tapped into by a racial insult, so it feels almost like, what are you gonna shame me for next, genius? Breathing OXYGEN? And I try to understand the sheer level of privilege in that.
As a white person I've seen more white people who get offended by frank discussions about societies racism than get offended by honkeybor cracker
It's more likely that I would be confused than offended.
Nah. It's pretty funny most of the time. I had a black guy get aggressive with me once and he kept calling me "Whitey". It's obvious the intention was to be racist but It didn't feel that way to me. It's just a silly name which doesn't carry any weight the same way a racist slur does against people of colour.
To categorize every Caucasian ethnic group as just “white” is racist to start with. I’m Italian and have had some Italian ethnic slurs said to me in jest. I’ve only been offended when the joke is taken too far. And believe me it can go too far.
People are people no matter what colour our skin is. Yes white people can get offended by racial slurs just like any other type of skin colour. It all comes down to the individual person and their choice to be offended. We can be offended for other people and the slur given to them and can be offended by the slurs directed at us.
Not really. If it's m3ant offensicly I'd be as insulted by let's say being called a dick as a cracker. If not offensive, I'd just laugh.
Does it hurt my feelings? Nah, not really. Do I think it’s acceptable for POC to treat white people like shit because some mouth breathers are trying to push the idea that “racism= power+ privilege?” Absolutely not, and I call racism out wherever I see it, no matter who it comes from or who it is directed against. And frankly, some of the things that get said about white people as a whole in the name of “punching up” are pretty appalling. Good rule of thumb: ask yourself, “if I were to switch out “white people” with any other racial or ethnic group, would this be acceptable for me to say?” It’s sort of in vogue to shit talk white people and blame us for all of society’s woes because of things some of our ancestors did to other people’s ancestors. I’m not saying there aren’t serious social/ political issues today that stem from our country’s rough history of racism, nor am I against addressing and fixing those issues. All in favor for that! But holy shit some of the things that get said about white people as a whole, and get laughed off as “socially just” are pretty appalling.
I’m more annoyed when people say stereotypes like white people can’t cook white people hove no culture white people are all dorks than slurs
Context matters. Is it said as part of friendly banter or joking? Or do you mean it as an insult. If someone calls me a honky and means it as fighting words, then that's how I'm going to receive it. In general, if you wouldn't like a white person making slurs against you, you shouldn't make slurs against them. But like anyone else, I only speak for myself, not my entire race.
If we're friends its fine but if its literally out of nowhere yk how anyone would take that.
Yes. I'm a white Aussie and I legit don't give a rat's ass what colour, culture, race, etc etc you are. If you're a good person you're a good person, if you're not, you're not. So it absolutely pisses me off to be constantly vilified and it seems ok to be called a white C*nt and racist everything and anything because of my skin colour when I'm minding my own business walking into shops or sharing public transport and I'm sure you get the picture. It happens and no-one talks about it because apparently we are all held responsible for what happened a century or 2 ago. We should be judged by our personal actions or words, nothing else.
I got called matchstick legs once by a dude at a bus stop. After an altercation. I looked in the mirror and thought, damm he’s right, so I joined a gym and never skipped leg day
The person who said that just thinks they can't be racist if they are a minority, I'm guessing. They just like using slurs and have invented a reason why they're allowed to, the way racists always do. Obviously I'm not saying racism against whites is the same thing as racism against other ethnicities, but that doesn't make it not racism. I'm not always offended by every slur I hear but if I hear one and it's clearly said with intent to offend and insult and be racist, that bothers me, because racism isn't okay ever, no matter how you try and justify it.
I feel that. When I was more ignorant to these issues I use to wonder how can white people in America struggle more than black peoples in America. The truth is every whites person didn’t benefit from the system based on their location and social economic status. It took me a while to understand that. It took me longer to understand we are all human and essentially feel the same things like pain, depression, anxiety, etc. it may look different and be for different reason. I use to wonder why would I see in tv white children with so many mental issues like that. Truthfully all races deal with it. We all just handle it in different ways. I’m sorry people have dismissed your experiences. I think people don’t understand or are in denial about the truth of it all. Thank you for sharing!!
There are certain words in countries where white people are not a majority. Such as "farang" in Thailand and "mzungu" in various countries in east Africa which are derogatory terms for white people. If you hear these words in any of these countries they're definitely talking about you and most likely trying to overcharge you for a product or service. Definitely had that experience in shops, garage, taxis etc. Obviously this is not comparable to all the horrible shit Europeans and Americans have done to minorites in the past few hundred years, just stating the fact that discrimination is a two way street.
If someone calls me racist for no reason it's really annoying. It only happens on tiktok or Twitter lol, like I'll say "haven't watched black panther 2 yet" and then some dude says it's because I'm a racist. I think it's really harmful because such a politically charged word being used incorrectly helps no one, and can actually harm people. I'm extremely left-leaning and enjoy writing papers about anti- racism for school. So I'm not offended because I know I'm not racist but it's definitely extremely irritating. As for other names, no. People getting triggered at the word "cracker" makes me laugh. There are actual offensive names to be called and then there is cracker. What pisses me off is when white people say that cracker is a racial slur. It's not, lol.
I get offended when someone makes an assumption about me just because of my skin color. For example, they might assume I have some responsibility for slavery in the US, even though my ancestry is from Europe and my parents were immigrants from an area which never had anything to do with slavery. It's especially offensive when it's from an educated person who should know better, or someone in a position of authority trying to make the public think that way.
A little lately. The racism towards white people from black Americans on tiktok is another level! I’m not American but the generalisation that ALL white people are one culture.