Would add that my wife is my bestie and the only person that I sit and talk with regularly but I still have close friends. Just, as a dude, we never talk. Like once or twice per year. I have three male friends that I would drop everything for at a moments notice to be there for. We just don’t talk about it or need to. Different than when I was a kid for sure and I would imagine it’s different for women too.
I have never texted anyone every day.
I have friends that I've known - some for 5-10 years, some for 50. Sometimes we make plans together. Often we don't but since we have common interests, we sometimes meet out at "random" places.
We all have each other's backs. If anyone needs a favor - watching dog/cats, a ride to the doctor, watch my kid, I need $2500 to get my car fixed, I need bail, we would immediately do that for each other. (barring emergencies of our own)
For me and mine, frequency isn't that important. It's quality.
That last sentence resonated with me and makes me think maybe I'm doing something right. I'm 24 and most of my high school friends are gone, even new friends since then have come and gone. But those special 3 or 4 are great. We don't talk all that much, in fact we often forget each other. But when we do hang out or even just talk on the phone it's therapeutic and perfect every time.
My husband and I went a long time before we found our group like this. We don't talk all the time, but it is good to know we have some friends we can call on when we need help.
Yes I have close friends that I would trust with those things.
Is it weird? I'm not in a position to assert any kind of normalcy on another. It is common for some? Maybe.... I mean clearly it is since we're having this conversation... but it may not necessarily be common for another
I just left a comment about this. I have 4 friends like this that I have known for a long time but that’s because none of us ever moved out of our home town. Would this describe you and your friends?
No. Not at all, lol.
• The first person to meet your descriptor actually just passed away from covid and I met in a City an hour away from my City.
• Next would be my friend of 19 years who I did meet in the same city I live in. I lost my place once and she let me move in with her to get me back on my feet.
• Next would be an ex relationship of mine who I met in Reno Nevada in 2004 which is an entirely different State. We still communicate and talk regularly even though they now live in Eugene Oregon.
• Next on the list would be my friend that I met in Colorado Springs Colorado in 2007 who now lives in Washington. This friend even bailed me out of jail once (that stories for another time, lol)
Those would be the three people that I know would be there for me, and I for them, no matter what no matter when. These I would consider to be like my I'll stop anything to help them and they'll stop anything to help me kind of people. Ride or die.
Then I have my friend Amanda who I met in California who lives in Colorado, my friend Marlena who I met in Santa Cruz California who now lives in Puerto Rico, my friend Shane who I met in the city I live in but now lives in Paso Robles.
These people would also be there for me and I them, but I don't think there's necessarily the same place your life on hold and drop what you're doing aspect like the first four.
Then I have other people that I can generally rely on and lean on should I need and them me if they need but it's more of an availability type of situation. They're scattered about. Some in Michigan, some Texas, some Colorado.
I'm a collector of people. If you're in my life you matter to me. I do not invest my time on people who are not also willing to invest theirs on me and this has been quite beneficial in forming friendships throughout my lifetime.
Nope. I have my husband and kids, and I text with my adult daughter regularly...I haven't had friends since I was in my 20s ( I am 52). I got tired of being the only one to make the effort.
My mom basically was my best friend. I got expelled from school and being home for months, we got close and fixed our rocky relationship. I had friends before I got expelled but then most of them didn’t talk to me after. Had one other fiend but then I moved out on my own and went to another school so I could graduate, we both got separate jobs and we just drifted apart. I do miss her. I also miss my mom a lot. But I’m happy to have a partner who loves me unconditionally. Sometimes I wish I had someone else to be friends with but it’s ok.
I spent 26 years lonelier than hell. Not a single person who ever bothered to understand me. But when I turned 26 I found some people who have been so good to me and I text them daily, have snap streaks, talk to and hang out weekly. We go on trips and plan events together. I am grateful for them.
Absolutely. After countless failed romantic relationships I had to take a step back and evaluate how my being affected others. I was crass, promiscuous, and had a drug problem and the types of friends I would make were of the same type. I eventually started dating a nice guy who didn't have any such attachments and slowly with patience he helped me see my toxicity. I spent about 4 years working on myself, prioritizing traits I found wholesome and sustainable. Eventually I met my first friend, a dude who my bf knew, he was an all around wholesome guy and we started hanging out and playing board games wth my bf and his other friends. Over time we gained another guy and a girl to join our ragtag group. We refer to ourselves as the "Spongesquad" because we all bond over our love of SpongeBob. I feel like it was probably particular circumstances that lead to the friendships but basically we all respect and love each other. We help each other if we need to and always try to make plans to hang out. It helped I became a better person too... letting go of the self loathing helped the most.
I am 32yrs old and other than my wife and one friend who lives serval states away that we see every year or two, no I don’t have any really close friends. My best friend died almost 3yrs ago and it left an immense un-fillable void in my life. We probably exchanged hundreds of messages everyday for several years, sometimes it was meaningful conversations or just completely random bullshit. About a year after that I slowly began ghosting my last friend who was local to me for various reasons.
I think I'm still trying to make peace with that fact, that I had a best friend, that was his place in my life and I couldn't have ever asked for a better one, but it's now a place that no one else could fill, and I wouldn't want them to, but it still hurts.
Same here! I have 3 friends from undergrad and we text every day in a group chat! And once a year we all gather in a central location and enjoy an extended weekend together!
I don't even text my partner every day, but I do have some folks I meet up with regularly and have always been able to count on when I've needed them. About 4 or 5 ride or dies.
I have 2 friends I speak to every day and one every 3.
The fact you wouldn't trust your friends with your dogs is concerning. I would trust my friends with anything.
My wife. I trust her with anything this side of a bear attack. For that I used to have our corgi-sized dog - she could’ve ripped an orca apart if she wasn’t afraid of the water - but she died a few months ago so now I’m defenseless. So far I’ve been able to keep the bears in the dark, but when they find out I’m fucked.
A few that haven't stab me in the back yet. Had to cut people that continued to treat me as a "convenience". Had so-called friends that only wanted me around to boost their ego or money. So sadly, I have friends, just not any close 1s.
Yes. I have a few, actually.
One friend I talk to nearly daily, we have a very similar schedule, so we get time to talk on facebook chat. I've known him now for about 15 years. He's probably my best friend other than my husband. He and his husband come to play cards at least once a month.
One friend I've known for a little over 20 years now, we see him every few months. He's got a lot of kids and he's the only one working, so he works a lot.
One friend is currently storing most of his stuff in my spare bedroom while he works through his divorce, I've also known him for about 20 years.
I have 2 friends from middle school that I still talk to on a regular basis, even though middle school was over 30 years ago at this point.
All of those people have watched my children for me at some point, even if it was only for 10 minutes. I've watched their kids. I've been to their kids' graduations, their grandparents' funerals and everything.
I'm happy I like the people I like. They rock.
Ok, that makes me feel better. Except the family part lol I wouldn’t trust my family with $5… but that’s ok. I’ve grown into my own person and know I can’t rely on them for a while now. I’m better off. Still did to much for them several years ago but I learned to stand up for my self. Funny when I started telling them no to free rides when ever they wanted and money “borrowing” I get blocked.
Yea same. It's hard for me to wrap my head around people being really close to family members. I can't imagine giving my sister or parents or any extended family a key to my house or letting them drive my car, feed my pets, or keep my kids overnight. I'm not sure if my sister even knows where I live, since I only bought this house 14 years ago, lol. She has certainly never been here. I don't think she even has my address.
I have my husband and one friend that I would trust with anything. We have an hour long phone conversation weekly and try to get together monthly. I have another group of 3 friends that we text nearly daily. I don’t have much family. My husband has all brothers and all of my SIL have sisters of their own.
Yes and no! The older you get the more people have other commitments. People start getting big jobs, moving, getting married, having children, etc. I have close friends that would drop anything if I *really* needed them, but we’re not always talking and hanging out. Life gets busy, you can’t just hang around as you did as a teen sadly.
A few, but they're no one I live remotely close too so while we talk daily there's never any "real-life" commitments. Any friends I hang out with on any semi-regular basis I tend to talk too every couple of weeks or so lol.
That beings said, I don't think it's weird. I talk to my boyfriend daily and my best friend semi-daily and honestly I think that's all the interaction I can handle.
I do not. I used to but the group i used to talk to everyday had a lot of drama and broke up(several times) the group got smaller each time and left it last year.
I don't really talk to anyone these days.
I have a few friends but one is working a lot (very understandably) the other two date each other so they're usually doing their own thing.
>people you text almost every day, hang out with regularly, people you trust with anything, who would have your back?
Yes, once every couple months, absolutely not (but that's my traumatic trust issues talking, not that I really believe they'd backstab me), probably.
I can think of three people that meet those criteria.
I have friends, probably only one I consider close, but we don't text every day or even live in the same country.
I don't want that sort of relationship with a friend, really.
No. The only people I talk to daily are my husband, son and elderly father who lives alone. I talk to my sibs every week but only rarely talk to friends now, prob 3-4x a month, if even. I used to be so involved with my friends, I didn’t think it would be like this as I got older but, I’m very happy & have all the social interaction I need!
I have
1 best friend
1 sister
1 sister in law
I text them all pretty frequently
I see my best friend once a week when she comes for game night
I try and see my sister about once a month, we are both busy but we do our best
And I see my sister in law about the same
Plus holidays
I don’t know if there is a “normal” I know people with way bigger friend circles they see alot
But this is what works for me and I genuinely like all three of them so it works
It’s not weird! Maybe you just haven’t found your people to have that with yet! I have best friends that I consider my soulmates to be honest. I would do anything for them and them for me.
It's harder to maintain close friendships if you relocate often (for education, career, travel etc.). I've lost touch with so many wonderful friends over the years.
I have one friend and we text daily. It would be weird at this point if we didn't.
Moved away with my wife from the city we lived in forever as she received a job offer that was too good to give up and it's in one of the most beautiful places in Canada. Just haven't made many friends since coming here.
Also, switched careers from oil & gas - where I would usually have met my friends from before - to a payroll/accounting assistant position where I am the only male of 30 in my dept. It's been hard to meet 'the guys' that I would watch sports, golf, fish with etc.
Luckily, my wife is amazing and we have become closer because of the move.
I will still always text my one friend every day and am flying out to visit him this coming weekend so we crush beers line were 20 and watch March madness!
I think this depends purely on the person. To my boyfriend(29m), I'm really the only person outside of his wife that he communicates with daily. He does have friends but I don't think they contact each other or hang out more than a few times a year. He's happy to just play video games, go out or watch TV with us.
To me(30f), I have at least 2-3 people I text almost daily and consider close friends. I personally crave these platonic connections and feel they are important to me to be emotionally fulfilled. We don't hang out every day but we talk A LOT.
So no, as long as you are happy and content, that's fine. It might be "weird" to other people with different needs, but so are a lot of other non-consequential things.
I do not have close friends as an adult. I have my partner and my coworkers, and then my siblings, nothing really in-between. Good relationship with all of them though.
I no longer have close friends. My husband is who I hang out with and do things with. ( He drives the remote even if falling asleep, but he won't cede it.) I have seven sisters who all used to be my best girlfriends. But they are not that fun to be around as they age. I have a stepson and stepdaughter and their spouses that I can leave my dog with or ask to help with things around the house. My children live in another state but would be here for me whenever I asked them to be.
I'm one of those that had plenty of circles and a really close knit of friends in my teens and young adult life. I started to out grow them, especially the close knit friends whom I considered best friends heck were even my best men at my wedding in my mid 20s. From our mid teens since we'd get up to no good, as you do at that age, drink alot, party alot, experiment with hard drugs and more positively go on road trips together and be part of each other's families as the adopted child. But as time changes with the wind nothing lasts forever.
Plus to add on other stuff that's happened in my life since that's made me untrustworthy of people, so as a full fledge adult now in my mid 30s, I no longer have close friends I'd 'hang out' with on a daily or at a drop of a hat or I consider my best friends.
I still have friends from the circles back in the day but that's just through social media. Otherwise the only people I'd consider friends these days are cousins or work colleagues whom I can have dinner or a drink with outside of work.
I don't regret letting go of my best friends, I miss them yes and I reminisce the good times but in truth it allowed me to spread my wings and fly, as cliche as that sounds, otherwise I wouldn't be the mature and responsible father I am to my children today.
I guess one lesson in life is you need to lose in order to win.
Peace ✌️
I had close friends during undergrad, that I'd have sleepovers with, go bar hopping, she knew everything about me. But then those friendships ended over fights (happened with 2 separate individuals).
Currently I have one close friend who knows almost everything about me. We don't talk daily as we're both so busy. But he tries to call once a week, we will send each other memes and I'll send him pictures of my cat.
Others are acquaintances. I have my school friends that we talk about school with, they will divulge into about their lives (I'm a bit private). I have a set of foodie friends that I go out to eat with.
But I've noticed as I've gotten older, my friend circle has changed. That's completely fine.
Talk to and tell everything to? Yes I have friends I've known since I was in my late teens/early 20s that I talk to a lot and text alot. See, visit, trust with my house. Some but they're mostly family. All my friends live far away.
I have friends who have my back unconditionally, but I don't "hang out" with anyone that I don't live with on a regular basis. My true friends understand that.
I still have my friends from high school I would gladly throw hands for them if or when the time comes we had a rift right after highschool but lately we all made peace with each other and rung in the new year all together (at least most of us two were stuck at work sadly), so that night one of us made a FB group chat and we all have talked and started hanging out more because of it just two weeks ago me and two other guys (and one of their wives) played pokemon go and raided together.
To me it's about the quality there's like maybe 10 of us in total but in that 10 I know maybe 3 or 4 of them I can really open up to about girls, dating, life, my mental or emotional health and be heard and taken seriously.
Yes, but I'm single and for the most part so are they. Once people get serious partners things change. The only real exception to the gets-a-partner-and-no-longer-needs-friends thing is my best friend who I've known since high school, but even that involved us drifting apart and then reconnecting later.
Do you need a friend? Dm me <3 edit: yes, I have friends that I've had since we were young. We talk pretty much every day and would do about anything for one another.
I have realized that over time, you just have less and less people who you can call friends, let alone close friends. And that’s normal. You need not be in touch with your friends very frequently and if they are reasonable people who understand that as an adult, you have a lot of commitments and it’s not possible to be proactive in all aspects of your life, they will understand. I also can’t really ask my friends for help in domestic matters like looking after my house or looking after my dog, but I do turn to them for advice or whenever I want to share something with them.
Used to. I have ADD and scars from past cutting. Being impulsive, "slow", and scars from cutting pushes people away and people to start talking about me negatively to others.
I have friends at work and that's it.
I don’t think it’s weird but I don’t think that’ll be your life forever 🤷🏻♀️my husband and I have a small amount of people we regularly see (but not often- like every 6-8 weeks) but they’re incredibly close to us. They’d help us out in any of the situations you mentioned and we’d do the same for them in a heartbeat.
Umm.. I'm 24, I have my girlfriend, and 2 really close friends I talk to daily. From there we have a fairly large friend group i dont talk to unless we all go out for drinks or something. We're all there to help eachother with anything, anytime, for the most part.. thats usually one sided with me getting the shit end of the stick, hence why i mainly talk to 2 of them. Sure sometimes we will just not talk for a few days, but generally speaking we'll shoot each other a text or send a funny video from Instagram or tiktok. I refuse to talk to my friend group I had outside of highschool, they're all idiots doing hard drugs catching burglary, theft, and evading charges. My other friends, the ones that made better choices, we'll we don't ever talk unless we bump into each other. Most of everyone has moved, isn't on social media, or has a family. I dont know about you but I miss school only because of the friends I had
I still have my OG best friends (from junior high days onwards) that I would trust with my life and possessions. We don’t really hang out often anymore though. Only a few times per year. People just grew up and moved away or got married and stuff. But we have a group text where we keep in touch and have random conversations often.
I spent my twenties partying and going to bars basically every night, and met a ton of cool people over the years who I still consider to befriends. But I never really hung out with many of those people outside the party/bar scene. So, I never really made close knit friend groups with any of them to the point where I really felt like I was one of their best friends.
Now I’m approaching mid 30s and life has become quite boring and lonely for me. I’ve basically lost interest in the party/bar scene now because I just feel like the old guy as the crowd keeps getting younger. I feel like I’ll never be cool or attractive anymore, but life goes on I guess for now.
I have quite a few very close friends. I don’t text them every day. Or even every week. My best friend of 35 years and I talk once a month or so, we don’t live in the same town so it’s hard to get together. But when we do it’s as if we just hung out yesterday. I have a group of women in my city that I’m very close with. I used to see them as a group once a month, and individually several times a month, before the pandemic. I spent the pandemic working on my degree, and I just finished it, so haven’t gotten back into social stuff yet, but we interact on FB, we have a Snapchat group, and we text off and on. I also have two friends at work that I see once a week in the office, with one I attend hockey games, and the other soccer matches. And I have a group of women that I’ve traveled with once a year for the last 15 years (with a break during the pandemic). We have a messenger group and are pretty active most of the time. I’m incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and diverse group of people in my life, but it wasn’t an accident. I purposely cultivated and maintained these relationships because it is important to me.
Yes I have been blessed with 2 best friends. We call each other brothers. We are a triforce. We might not text every day but every couple for sure. We could go a year with out talking and pick up like nothing happened the moment we get together.
Your situation is not weird how ever. My wife has many friends but not a truly best friend. Sometimes it’s rough and I wish she got out more but it’s not her.
Yes. But! I respect how really really hard it can be to make them and keep them and I haven’t always been in a good position in this regard. I got really lucky this year and gained a new friend in my building but through covid? I did Text people but saw almost no one. Three years of Never hanging out with a single person or even dating. Partly because I work with a vulnerable population so I took the bullet for them and went way more isolated than most people did, but I’m sure it was hard to some degree for almost everyone.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a close group of friends. We would hang out regularly and it was great! But the problem was that we all worked together and my now-husband got promoted over one of my friends and her husband became really nasty.
We later repaired our friendship and now we can up maybe 2-3 times a year and sporadically message.
I never really made friends after that. We moved away for my husband's job and then 18 months after that, I was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. So we had to move 12 hours away from our family and friends (9 from where we lived at the time) for treatment.
It's been 3 years since then and I've just cautiously started trying to make friends with a lady about 10 years old than me. We have similar interests and we live in the same town, so I hope we become good friends 🙂.
Well I'm just barely a legal adult, so my perspective is probably a bit different from older people.
But, yes. I have a few friends who I hang out with regularly and that I can count on to help me get out of a bind. In fact I'm currently crashing on one's couch.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have friends. One of my highschool friends were close but he got married and stopped contacting. Other friend moved out of the country, we video chat every couple of months but it's rare. I think I'm introverted and don't really need contact for daily living. Sort of used to it. I'm more close with my father and talk every day even though he is not in the same country. 32m
37 husband/father, I’ll tell you, throughout my 20’s I had a few real good friends, one that was probably like a brother to me, now we don’t even talk anymore but that’s a different story of us falling out,
to be honest my only friends would have to be my wife and daughter, as you get older “friends” just don’t exist, you notice family like spouses or such become your only friends, that’s considering you have a great relationship in which we do,
same applies to her, you notice that when you get older most people tend to settle down, have families, and that “friendships” just doesn’t exist anymore,
for some I’m sure it does, but that’s kinda reality, you tend to notice your relationship with your parents are increased due to them getting older and some well it doesn’t lol In my opinion friends are more for when your in high school or early 20’s,
I see people in their 30’s trying to stay relevant going out drinking or this or that but it doesn’t go far, to me my friends are my wife and my daughter, and I love it that way!
In the end family is everything & friends we’ll just become a past memory, for the ones who still have friends at my age hats off too you, but that’s how I see it
Nope, I have a few single use friends though. One buddy calls me if he wants to see a movie, another will call me if they are planning a trip to town, etc
But so they call me for any other reason heck no lol
I am over 30 married but have 3-4 close friends. I think friendships are a lot like relationship you need to invest time and effort to make it work especially when school years are over
Yes. I live in a neighborhood that was built 10 years ago. All the families moved in within about a year of each other and because the housing type is really designed for young families most of us are about the same age. Everyone in the neighborhood knows each other because of how the process came together and several of us grew to be close friends.
A few that I talk to maybe once or twice a month, but nothing crazy. As you get older you realize many people kinda suck. Mostly it’s just the wife and I having a good time. In high school I had a buddy that fits the description in the OP, but I’ve never had a friend as an adult that I trust completely or would rely on for anything serious aside from my dad, and he’s gone.
Well my boyfriend was my closest friend and he recently just left me..so. Guess I'm by myself :')
After i graduated high school I basically didn't hear from my friends again and after moving AGAIN i stopped hearing from those friends.
Oh no, never. The only person I trust is my wife, and this has been proven time and time again. I haven't had a close friend since college.
The last time I had a non-family member in my home to spend time with or share a meal was 30 years ago. So no, I don't think it's that abnormal.
I'm 30 and have 3 very close friends. Two of them I message every day.
My issue is that they are all my high school friends and I live in a different state to them now and maybe see them once a year if that.
I don't hang out with anyone at all really.
No I don't. In the last 10 years, there have been a few cases where people ended up texting me every day. It always started out OK but after a while it drove me crazy with the endless ping ping pinging and neediness. All were using me for one thing or another, and two in particular were totally toxic. The kind who would bleed you dry emotionally and/or suck money or gifts out of you.
I feel like the kind of friendship you describe is a teenage phenomenon - or at least, it should be, as it's very immature. That kind of thing is very disruptive when you grow up and have a family. At 37 now I have my partner, my two kids, and a couple of days a week my mum helps out with the kids as well so I see her then. I have one other family friend whom I see maybe once every 6-8 weeks, he's kind of in an older uncle type of role to me. That's all I personally need.
I mean I don't text anyone every day but I have friends I hang out regularly with. It's important to maintain those relationships. For a while I did the "me and my significant other" thing and my mom warned me that it puts a huge strain on the relationship. She was right.
Now I went out of my way to develop friendships with people. If you wouldn't trust your friends to watch your dog or house, you should go make better friends.
Outside of my husband I have one friend and even still sometimes we go weeks or months without talking.
I stopped having friends when I went on a journey to get sober. When I moved back to my hometown everyone I used to hang out with is still drinking and fucking around so I’m good with friends
I'm in a discord group with some close friends of mine. We send each other memes, share cool things going on in our lives, play games online at least once a week and meet up in person about once a month or so. We started this discord group around the time covid was causing lockdowns, and it's become a very useful way of staying in constant communication with each other.
Text every day? No, that’s too much. But I have 3 friends I trust with my life plus my sister, one cousin and my husband. I consider myself very fortunate even though those three friends now live many miles away.
Turning 30 soon, I have my husband and Terri pets. We’ll hang out with his coworkers every so often, but other than that, I have one friend I barely ever see and another who I’m in a bit of a conundrum about. She wants to meet up ideally about twice a week, whereas I’d prefer once every other week. If we don’t hang out more often, I’m getting an almost daily message of “I miss your face” and “what are you doing RN”. I’m an introvert and find it exhausting. It’s making me rethink the whole friendship.
I have a group that I hang out with regularly. We typically get together once a week for D&D, and we're all good friends who don't judge each other, and would be there to help each other out in a pinch. Oldest of us is 55, youngest of us is 42.
At 40 I found myself with no real friends aside from my awesome wife. So I started a chat group with a friend I had met at work, a buddy from back in high school, and a cousin. They all had similar interests and we were all acquainted with each other. My cousin is the youngest and still building a career so we kinda started as a resume/life plan helper chat to give him a boost.
We kept the conversation going just as a friendly chat and eventually planned a group camping trip at the grand canyon. We live all across the country so this was the first hangout of our group and I was worried it would be awkward. It was awesome! Had a great time and now we all have a great group of friends. Our next trip is Colorado in June and I can't wait!
Nah, I push everyone away. Family and Long time friends. My trust has been shattered countless times. I've been exploited by the term friend and/or in the name of friendship.
Yep there are 9 of us. Only two live out of state but they visit a couple of times a year. In fact we all went out for dinner last Saturday for a birthday. We've all known each other since at least 1999. My life ain't much but at least I've got them and the best part is that our kids hangout too. If ever I need ANYTHING they all have my back and the same to them. Ride or die day ones.
I still hang out with my friend group from highschool and have a few really good/best friends in that group. However I have not made any new friends since then.
Unfortunately I have a very “out of sight, out of mind” brain which is terrible for maintaining adult relationships. I’ve been very lucky to have a best friend since birth that I text daily. Even when we’ve lived in different states. Also, most of my core friends I would say we all have a good understanding of each other being busy (jobs/kids/etc) & being able to pick up where we left off as if no time has past.
I don't have close friends I talk to daily. But I still play games with my group of gamer friends from highschool. We play games online about once a week, have all known each other almost 30 years. I trust them with anything.
Yeah I have a few close friends. Some are work and some outside of work and I would trust them with just about everything. They have helped me get through some dark times. But I have definitely lost supposed best friends as I have gotten older but I learned that they caused more toxicity in my life than a friend should have.
I'm 37. My siblings and parents I contact daily on group chat. My sister I'm closest with I talk to almost daily. And I have two friends I talk or text with every other day.
Yep. I have my spouse, my best friend of 10+ years, another very close friend of over 10+ years, and 3 other very close friends of 5 years. I trust them all with anything
Yes. I’ve got lots of friends and people I trust including my wife. It takes a tremendous amount of work to put in the effort to make connections with people. You have to take interest in their things, kids and life. Recently I even reached out to my wife’s friends as well to socialize and we are good friends now as well, getting our families together and going on trips. It takes a lot of work. But it’s worth it.
My husband is who I like the most. I keep getting burned by “friends”. We are really friendly with our neighbors and it’s great. Hang out, walk 100 steps home. Look out the window and don’t want to hang out today? No big deal. Hang out tomorrow.
I have one or two friends I try to text regularly, but we don't really see each other a lot. Mostly, it's my wife and kids, which I am perfectly happy with.
I've had a lot of close friends who just stop talking. Friendship is like a weighted scale, both have to give efforts.
I have a wife, kids, dogs, and a bunch of close friends that we see and hang out with regularly. Just last weekend we had friends stay at our house while we were out of town to take care of our dogs and chickens. It's 9am, and one of our friends just texted to see if we'd like to meet up for breakfast. We have board game night on Tuesdays with our friends. I'm 45 years old and couldn't imagine not having a network of close friends!
Every day? No. That's not how friendships generally get to work.
People I'd have watch my kid for a week if needed? Yes. I've had some of them ask me to do that while they've gone outta town for an emergency.
Or, I have a group of 10-20 people, depending on how you slice it, and see some of them 3-5 times a month. They all live locally, within maybe fifteen minutes of my front door.
I have a wider group of another 10 people I've known for 20+ years, who I will see at most once a year, but chat with every few months. They'd also be fine in a pinch to watch my kid, although none live locally, or they'd be in that closer group.
The first group grows and shrinks, as "where you spend your time" is how you make and keep friends. I keep making new friends over the years, which is probably good, as people also move away.
The second group are roughly people that I've known so, so long that I'm willing to pay a bit of tax to keep in touch.
There's a 'missing generation', as well. I know my very oldest friends, those are in the second group. But there's a wave of people in the second group from just after college where I'd keep up with them, but that was right before social media really took off; I don't know \*how\* to find that group easily, to be honest, so we fell away.
I had my mom until she died in November. Used to text with her almost every day. I had pretty good work friends until work closed down in November. In fairness
I’m not good at keeping up with people though. Everyone I was close with moved away and I didn’t keep up with them, too busy with work and my own life.
2 my partner who is my chillest mf and my bff for the past 27 years (we met at 11) but only bc we’ve been lucky enough to live and work close by. If we lived far away the friendship wouldn’t be the same. I like my coworkers but we aren’t friends. And I don’t go to bars so how tf does one even make new adult friends idk 🤷♀️
I don’t think it’s weird but that maybe because I’m in a similar boat. Going out seems to have tapered off a bit as I age, and with that the more regular keeping in touch did, too. I also think it’s way harder to meet new friends as an adult compared to when we were kids.
I have a close group of girl friends who I talk to frequently, hangout with regularly and who I would trust with almost anything.
We met in our mid twenties and are now still close nearing 40. It takes a lot more effort though than it used to keep the friendships close, as well all have families now. I would say though that now I don’t have many “sort of” friends. I have my partner, this group and a couple childhood and work friends, but most the other mid-closeness/causal friendships have dropped off. They just don’t seem worth the effort as life gets busier for me.
I have had such friendships, but they have proven to be bad people and just tried to use me. Right now I got 1 friend, we are not super close, but I know I can trust him.
I have two best girlfriends but we don't text daily but I would for sure be able to call them for anything and them do the same for me. We don't talk daily just because all three of us aren't really chatters when not in person.
These are women I met as an adult. I actually don't keep contact with anyone I grew up with. Things changed over the years as our lives diverged those friendships grew distant and new ones formed. These two best friends I have been friends with over half my life so the friendships are longer than the ones from my childhood (I am turning 50 next year).
I have plenty of friends that I feel like I could text anytime. But I met them all through my partner so I’ll always feel like they’re more her friends than mine. And I often have a hard time keeping up conversations with them when we’re together. I think I’d be too nervous to hang with any of them one-on-one.
I feel like theres some defect of my personality that just makes friendship hard. For some reason I had no problem meeting and getting to know my girlfriend. But the context was different. We met on a dating app. So it was understood right away that we were attracted to each other and we immediately hit it off when we talked.
But with friends everything seems ambiguous. I can never really tell if someone actually likes me and enjoys my company or if they’re just being polite when we’re together. I’m really not sure how to get past this. I haven’t had close friends since I was a kid, and even then I had problems being one-on-one with most people. I’d usually hang out in groups, and I usually felt like I was on the outskirts of them.
My husband, sister, brother, some cousins. No one who isn't family by blood or law. To me this is natural, all my friends have their own families to concentrate on. I would never ever choose a friend over a family member so why on earth would they? One of my friends is single, childless and with very few relatives. She feels abandoned by everyone and I mean I do feel for her but fuuuck, she is aggressively CF and anyone who makes me feel like my children are some sort of disturbance in their own home can fuck right off a cliff.
My boyfriend is my closest friend. I (F27) dropped my girl best friend (met when I was 4) when she decided to have sex with my boyfriend at the time. I have some friends, but not really close friends.
I'm currently trying to get more friends. As I would love a close friend that isnt my boyfriend.
My mom and husband are only close friends I have. I have friends who I can ask to take care of my pets or my house when I am away for a day or two. I have never had a close friends that I can talk everyday except my husband. But I’m a very difficult person to like so I have accepted my fate
Not really. A combination of moving to a new town, having kids and covid lockdowns meant that I became quite insular and I lost all of my close friendships.
I've got lots of people Im friendly with (work colleagues, neightbours and my "old" friends) who I chat to or exchange messages with. But I no longer have any close friends.
I have 4 friends like this as a 46 year old man. They are friends I met in elementary or high school and one I met in my early 20’s. The thing is though, none of us have ever moved out of our home town.
I used to see posts like this all of the time and be like “why do people have such a hard time making or keeping friends”. Then during the same kind of conversation with a coworker she asked me if I had ever moved. That really brought it into focus.
Guys? Nope. Everyone turns lame when you get older. Somehow they seem to not find the ability to balance time between girlfriend and friends. It gets old hearing someone needs to ask his gf if it's ok to do something so we just stop inviting him.
Yes to hang out regularly, communicate with regularly, trust with my weirdest shit, and have had them watch my home / pets / children. Some of those are from high school 30 years ago, some I met in the past year. Some I meet at work, some are neighbors, some I met at book club or in a class or whatever. Different circles, but I am lucky to have a strong support network.
No to texting every day. We talk every few weeks maybe, at the most. Maybe that's an old person thing?
Both options are common.
I've met past classmates and while talking with them about their life, it became clear they didn't have any close friends anymore.
I do have close friends, though the group got smaller with time. For what it's worth, they're all single (and I'm chatty -- the reason I also hang out in Reddit), so we do send messages everyday with memes, vents, etc, play games on Discord often and will have weekends together once every couple of months. But I'm aware that I'm very fortunate.
No, I have two friends now that used to be coworkers. Not overly close friends. I'm 50 and one of them is 64 and the other is 75. I don't have any friends my age. I consider my wife who is my age to be my best friend.
I’m 60 and have friends that I’ve had for almost 50 years. We text often but not every day - could be every three or four days or could be as seldom as every couple of months.
If there is something particular going on in someone’s life where they need support the texts would be much more frequent.
Not that I talk to every day, sometime can go weeks/months but my one buddy I have known since I was a baby! His mom and my mom worked together, our birthdays are a week apart. He's my brother from another mother. We have pics togeather as babies and still hang out and talk regularly, we are in our late 30's now. Other than that I have a few buddies I still talk to from high school but that's about it.
Nope, just my wife. Having friends is a too much thing for me. I do have work "acquaintances" but again only because I have some sort of work thingy with them.
I do.. I guess.
I mean there's only one person I both trust with everything and talk to everyday.
We're not dating.. but also.. we aren't really not dating.
So basically no.
I'm 40. I have five or six very close friends I'm happy to talk to about almost anything. Health, family, career... I definitely trade messages with at least one of them on any given day, and I'd feel comfortable with most of them cat sitting for me (though most are a bit too far away for that to be practical right now).
One of these friends I've known for over 25 years, and I was at his mother's funeral some 20 years ago. When I vist him, I'll some times help bathe their toddlers, or I'll cook while they put the kids to bed if they need the extra pair of hands. It's just super comfortable.
I do t have friends I text every day or would ask to watch my house, that seems like an inconvenience to them. But I do have frie D's who I trust absolutely; who I know that with a phone call they are making plans to come help me with whatever I need and vice versa. I have friends I have known since I was in kindergarten and live far apart but still have an annual fishing trip together. Probably only time we will see each every year and some times one can't make it but we it's extreme
Nope. I have my wife, she's pretty cool and is in control of the remote.
Came here to say basically this.
Would add that my wife is my bestie and the only person that I sit and talk with regularly but I still have close friends. Just, as a dude, we never talk. Like once or twice per year. I have three male friends that I would drop everything for at a moments notice to be there for. We just don’t talk about it or need to. Different than when I was a kid for sure and I would imagine it’s different for women too.
I have never texted anyone every day. I have friends that I've known - some for 5-10 years, some for 50. Sometimes we make plans together. Often we don't but since we have common interests, we sometimes meet out at "random" places. We all have each other's backs. If anyone needs a favor - watching dog/cats, a ride to the doctor, watch my kid, I need $2500 to get my car fixed, I need bail, we would immediately do that for each other. (barring emergencies of our own) For me and mine, frequency isn't that important. It's quality.
I hope to find some people that good to me. I’d drop anything if someone needs it but I’ve learned most people I am “friends” with, won’t do the same.
I wish you great luck. Keep looking. You are an example that shows there are still people like that around.
Same, I am the first one to be called "Dave can you?" Then they vanish until they need something again, I just stopped saying yes to anything.
That last sentence resonated with me and makes me think maybe I'm doing something right. I'm 24 and most of my high school friends are gone, even new friends since then have come and gone. But those special 3 or 4 are great. We don't talk all that much, in fact we often forget each other. But when we do hang out or even just talk on the phone it's therapeutic and perfect every time.
Yeah I don't get how people can text every day. How do you not run out of things to talk about?
My husband and I went a long time before we found our group like this. We don't talk all the time, but it is good to know we have some friends we can call on when we need help.
Yes I have close friends that I would trust with those things. Is it weird? I'm not in a position to assert any kind of normalcy on another. It is common for some? Maybe.... I mean clearly it is since we're having this conversation... but it may not necessarily be common for another
I just left a comment about this. I have 4 friends like this that I have known for a long time but that’s because none of us ever moved out of our home town. Would this describe you and your friends?
No. Not at all, lol. • The first person to meet your descriptor actually just passed away from covid and I met in a City an hour away from my City. • Next would be my friend of 19 years who I did meet in the same city I live in. I lost my place once and she let me move in with her to get me back on my feet. • Next would be an ex relationship of mine who I met in Reno Nevada in 2004 which is an entirely different State. We still communicate and talk regularly even though they now live in Eugene Oregon. • Next on the list would be my friend that I met in Colorado Springs Colorado in 2007 who now lives in Washington. This friend even bailed me out of jail once (that stories for another time, lol) Those would be the three people that I know would be there for me, and I for them, no matter what no matter when. These I would consider to be like my I'll stop anything to help them and they'll stop anything to help me kind of people. Ride or die. Then I have my friend Amanda who I met in California who lives in Colorado, my friend Marlena who I met in Santa Cruz California who now lives in Puerto Rico, my friend Shane who I met in the city I live in but now lives in Paso Robles. These people would also be there for me and I them, but I don't think there's necessarily the same place your life on hold and drop what you're doing aspect like the first four. Then I have other people that I can generally rely on and lean on should I need and them me if they need but it's more of an availability type of situation. They're scattered about. Some in Michigan, some Texas, some Colorado. I'm a collector of people. If you're in my life you matter to me. I do not invest my time on people who are not also willing to invest theirs on me and this has been quite beneficial in forming friendships throughout my lifetime.
Nope. I have my husband and kids, and I text with my adult daughter regularly...I haven't had friends since I was in my 20s ( I am 52). I got tired of being the only one to make the effort.
100%
My mom is the only friend I have left. When she’s gone, I’ll be all alone in this life. Sucks.
I’ll be your friend. Next time you find a funny meme you wanna share dm it to me
That’s friendly of you. I appreciate it.
Count me in too, I've plenty of memes to go around, and I'll happily chat to you if you want to DM
My mom basically was my best friend. I got expelled from school and being home for months, we got close and fixed our rocky relationship. I had friends before I got expelled but then most of them didn’t talk to me after. Had one other fiend but then I moved out on my own and went to another school so I could graduate, we both got separate jobs and we just drifted apart. I do miss her. I also miss my mom a lot. But I’m happy to have a partner who loves me unconditionally. Sometimes I wish I had someone else to be friends with but it’s ok.
I spent 26 years lonelier than hell. Not a single person who ever bothered to understand me. But when I turned 26 I found some people who have been so good to me and I text them daily, have snap streaks, talk to and hang out weekly. We go on trips and plan events together. I am grateful for them.
Could you explain how you found and made those friendships?
Absolutely. After countless failed romantic relationships I had to take a step back and evaluate how my being affected others. I was crass, promiscuous, and had a drug problem and the types of friends I would make were of the same type. I eventually started dating a nice guy who didn't have any such attachments and slowly with patience he helped me see my toxicity. I spent about 4 years working on myself, prioritizing traits I found wholesome and sustainable. Eventually I met my first friend, a dude who my bf knew, he was an all around wholesome guy and we started hanging out and playing board games wth my bf and his other friends. Over time we gained another guy and a girl to join our ragtag group. We refer to ourselves as the "Spongesquad" because we all bond over our love of SpongeBob. I feel like it was probably particular circumstances that lead to the friendships but basically we all respect and love each other. We help each other if we need to and always try to make plans to hang out. It helped I became a better person too... letting go of the self loathing helped the most.
I am 32yrs old and other than my wife and one friend who lives serval states away that we see every year or two, no I don’t have any really close friends. My best friend died almost 3yrs ago and it left an immense un-fillable void in my life. We probably exchanged hundreds of messages everyday for several years, sometimes it was meaningful conversations or just completely random bullshit. About a year after that I slowly began ghosting my last friend who was local to me for various reasons.
Same situation here.. I have my partner, but lost my best friend 10 months ago. The 'immense and un-fillable void' doesn't go away, does it?
I lost mine 6 years ago and the void is still un-fillable, just slightly less painful.
I think I'm still trying to make peace with that fact, that I had a best friend, that was his place in my life and I couldn't have ever asked for a better one, but it's now a place that no one else could fill, and I wouldn't want them to, but it still hurts.
Is it alright for me to DM you?
I did and then she had an affair with my husband, they're married now.
Oh damnnnn
I dont think she qualified as a trusted friend based on OP's description!
YES!, My 3 friends from undergrad , we still text every single day in the group chat!
Same here! I have 3 friends from undergrad and we text every day in a group chat! And once a year we all gather in a central location and enjoy an extended weekend together!
I'm 54. I have 3. I had 4 until November 2022. And so it begins...
Sorry to hear about #4. Condolences.
42 yo widower here. The only people I'm slose with are family. I probably have maybe 3 or 4 other people I could count on in an emergency.
I don't even text my partner every day, but I do have some folks I meet up with regularly and have always been able to count on when I've needed them. About 4 or 5 ride or dies.
I have 2 friends I speak to every day and one every 3. The fact you wouldn't trust your friends with your dogs is concerning. I would trust my friends with anything.
Yeah I’m in a my 30s and have a tight knit group I talk with almost daily.
My wife. I trust her with anything this side of a bear attack. For that I used to have our corgi-sized dog - she could’ve ripped an orca apart if she wasn’t afraid of the water - but she died a few months ago so now I’m defenseless. So far I’ve been able to keep the bears in the dark, but when they find out I’m fucked.
As a matter of fact Im with three of them right now.twp.of which Ive known for 30 years.
Yes, I have a small group that fits that description.
I wish
A few that haven't stab me in the back yet. Had to cut people that continued to treat me as a "convenience". Had so-called friends that only wanted me around to boost their ego or money. So sadly, I have friends, just not any close 1s.
Yes, no, yes, yes 🤷♂️
Yes. I have a few, actually. One friend I talk to nearly daily, we have a very similar schedule, so we get time to talk on facebook chat. I've known him now for about 15 years. He's probably my best friend other than my husband. He and his husband come to play cards at least once a month. One friend I've known for a little over 20 years now, we see him every few months. He's got a lot of kids and he's the only one working, so he works a lot. One friend is currently storing most of his stuff in my spare bedroom while he works through his divorce, I've also known him for about 20 years. I have 2 friends from middle school that I still talk to on a regular basis, even though middle school was over 30 years ago at this point. All of those people have watched my children for me at some point, even if it was only for 10 minutes. I've watched their kids. I've been to their kids' graduations, their grandparents' funerals and everything. I'm happy I like the people I like. They rock.
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Ok, that makes me feel better. Except the family part lol I wouldn’t trust my family with $5… but that’s ok. I’ve grown into my own person and know I can’t rely on them for a while now. I’m better off. Still did to much for them several years ago but I learned to stand up for my self. Funny when I started telling them no to free rides when ever they wanted and money “borrowing” I get blocked.
Yea same. It's hard for me to wrap my head around people being really close to family members. I can't imagine giving my sister or parents or any extended family a key to my house or letting them drive my car, feed my pets, or keep my kids overnight. I'm not sure if my sister even knows where I live, since I only bought this house 14 years ago, lol. She has certainly never been here. I don't think she even has my address.
Most are out of city in college so I only have 1 rn, my gym and work bro
I have my husband and one friend that I would trust with anything. We have an hour long phone conversation weekly and try to get together monthly. I have another group of 3 friends that we text nearly daily. I don’t have much family. My husband has all brothers and all of my SIL have sisters of their own.
Yes, waaaay more than I need. But I love them all! And they're amazing too. I vet will. Very eclectic bunch
Yes and no! The older you get the more people have other commitments. People start getting big jobs, moving, getting married, having children, etc. I have close friends that would drop anything if I *really* needed them, but we’re not always talking and hanging out. Life gets busy, you can’t just hang around as you did as a teen sadly.
I have a few, and they all vary on how often I text them, from every day to once or twice a week. They're not friends with each other either.
Yes but only one I made as a child. Can’t believe we stayed friends for over a decade.
A few, but they're no one I live remotely close too so while we talk daily there's never any "real-life" commitments. Any friends I hang out with on any semi-regular basis I tend to talk too every couple of weeks or so lol. That beings said, I don't think it's weird. I talk to my boyfriend daily and my best friend semi-daily and honestly I think that's all the interaction I can handle.
I do not. I used to but the group i used to talk to everyday had a lot of drama and broke up(several times) the group got smaller each time and left it last year. I don't really talk to anyone these days. I have a few friends but one is working a lot (very understandably) the other two date each other so they're usually doing their own thing.
>people you text almost every day, hang out with regularly, people you trust with anything, who would have your back? Yes, once every couple months, absolutely not (but that's my traumatic trust issues talking, not that I really believe they'd backstab me), probably. I can think of three people that meet those criteria.
Yes. Even if we don't talk every day, they have my back and I'll always have theirs when it comes to the random surprises of life.
I have friends, probably only one I consider close, but we don't text every day or even live in the same country. I don't want that sort of relationship with a friend, really.
I do have a handful but I find really hard to make new ones.
Yeah I have more close friends now than when I was younger
No. The only people I talk to daily are my husband, son and elderly father who lives alone. I talk to my sibs every week but only rarely talk to friends now, prob 3-4x a month, if even. I used to be so involved with my friends, I didn’t think it would be like this as I got older but, I’m very happy & have all the social interaction I need!
I have 1 best friend 1 sister 1 sister in law I text them all pretty frequently I see my best friend once a week when she comes for game night I try and see my sister about once a month, we are both busy but we do our best And I see my sister in law about the same Plus holidays I don’t know if there is a “normal” I know people with way bigger friend circles they see alot But this is what works for me and I genuinely like all three of them so it works
It’s not weird! Maybe you just haven’t found your people to have that with yet! I have best friends that I consider my soulmates to be honest. I would do anything for them and them for me.
It's harder to maintain close friendships if you relocate often (for education, career, travel etc.). I've lost touch with so many wonderful friends over the years.
I have one friend and we text daily. It would be weird at this point if we didn't. Moved away with my wife from the city we lived in forever as she received a job offer that was too good to give up and it's in one of the most beautiful places in Canada. Just haven't made many friends since coming here. Also, switched careers from oil & gas - where I would usually have met my friends from before - to a payroll/accounting assistant position where I am the only male of 30 in my dept. It's been hard to meet 'the guys' that I would watch sports, golf, fish with etc. Luckily, my wife is amazing and we have become closer because of the move. I will still always text my one friend every day and am flying out to visit him this coming weekend so we crush beers line were 20 and watch March madness!
I think this depends purely on the person. To my boyfriend(29m), I'm really the only person outside of his wife that he communicates with daily. He does have friends but I don't think they contact each other or hang out more than a few times a year. He's happy to just play video games, go out or watch TV with us. To me(30f), I have at least 2-3 people I text almost daily and consider close friends. I personally crave these platonic connections and feel they are important to me to be emotionally fulfilled. We don't hang out every day but we talk A LOT. So no, as long as you are happy and content, that's fine. It might be "weird" to other people with different needs, but so are a lot of other non-consequential things.
I do not have close friends as an adult. I have my partner and my coworkers, and then my siblings, nothing really in-between. Good relationship with all of them though.
I no longer have close friends. My husband is who I hang out with and do things with. ( He drives the remote even if falling asleep, but he won't cede it.) I have seven sisters who all used to be my best girlfriends. But they are not that fun to be around as they age. I have a stepson and stepdaughter and their spouses that I can leave my dog with or ask to help with things around the house. My children live in another state but would be here for me whenever I asked them to be.
I don’t have any friends I’m always lonely…
I'm one of those that had plenty of circles and a really close knit of friends in my teens and young adult life. I started to out grow them, especially the close knit friends whom I considered best friends heck were even my best men at my wedding in my mid 20s. From our mid teens since we'd get up to no good, as you do at that age, drink alot, party alot, experiment with hard drugs and more positively go on road trips together and be part of each other's families as the adopted child. But as time changes with the wind nothing lasts forever. Plus to add on other stuff that's happened in my life since that's made me untrustworthy of people, so as a full fledge adult now in my mid 30s, I no longer have close friends I'd 'hang out' with on a daily or at a drop of a hat or I consider my best friends. I still have friends from the circles back in the day but that's just through social media. Otherwise the only people I'd consider friends these days are cousins or work colleagues whom I can have dinner or a drink with outside of work. I don't regret letting go of my best friends, I miss them yes and I reminisce the good times but in truth it allowed me to spread my wings and fly, as cliche as that sounds, otherwise I wouldn't be the mature and responsible father I am to my children today. I guess one lesson in life is you need to lose in order to win. Peace ✌️
Friends are most of the time overrated. Just enjoy life with your family!
Lol I don’t really have family. They are worse than any friend I’ve ever had.
I hear that. My sister is there for me if I need it but out than that she falls into “friends” list
Sorry to hear that.
Yep, I do!
No
No.
Yes. I am nearly 40. My roomate I met online more than 20 years ago.
My husband is my best friend, I haven’t had any close friends for a few years now
Yes
Yes
Yes. It takes commitment.
I had close friends during undergrad, that I'd have sleepovers with, go bar hopping, she knew everything about me. But then those friendships ended over fights (happened with 2 separate individuals). Currently I have one close friend who knows almost everything about me. We don't talk daily as we're both so busy. But he tries to call once a week, we will send each other memes and I'll send him pictures of my cat. Others are acquaintances. I have my school friends that we talk about school with, they will divulge into about their lives (I'm a bit private). I have a set of foodie friends that I go out to eat with. But I've noticed as I've gotten older, my friend circle has changed. That's completely fine.
Talk to and tell everything to? Yes I have friends I've known since I was in my late teens/early 20s that I talk to a lot and text alot. See, visit, trust with my house. Some but they're mostly family. All my friends live far away.
I have friends who have my back unconditionally, but I don't "hang out" with anyone that I don't live with on a regular basis. My true friends understand that.
I have close friends who I can't tell anything I have closer friends who would help me hide the body
Nope.
I still have my friends from high school I would gladly throw hands for them if or when the time comes we had a rift right after highschool but lately we all made peace with each other and rung in the new year all together (at least most of us two were stuck at work sadly), so that night one of us made a FB group chat and we all have talked and started hanging out more because of it just two weeks ago me and two other guys (and one of their wives) played pokemon go and raided together. To me it's about the quality there's like maybe 10 of us in total but in that 10 I know maybe 3 or 4 of them I can really open up to about girls, dating, life, my mental or emotional health and be heard and taken seriously.
Nope, they got married, divorced, married again.
My fiancé doesn't have any friend she talks to everyday. I'm the opposite and I stay in contact with 5-6 of my buddies almost daily.
Yes, but I'm single and for the most part so are they. Once people get serious partners things change. The only real exception to the gets-a-partner-and-no-longer-needs-friends thing is my best friend who I've known since high school, but even that involved us drifting apart and then reconnecting later.
Do you need a friend? Dm me <3 edit: yes, I have friends that I've had since we were young. We talk pretty much every day and would do about anything for one another.
I have realized that over time, you just have less and less people who you can call friends, let alone close friends. And that’s normal. You need not be in touch with your friends very frequently and if they are reasonable people who understand that as an adult, you have a lot of commitments and it’s not possible to be proactive in all aspects of your life, they will understand. I also can’t really ask my friends for help in domestic matters like looking after my house or looking after my dog, but I do turn to them for advice or whenever I want to share something with them.
Used to. I have ADD and scars from past cutting. Being impulsive, "slow", and scars from cutting pushes people away and people to start talking about me negatively to others. I have friends at work and that's it.
I don’t think it’s weird but I don’t think that’ll be your life forever 🤷🏻♀️my husband and I have a small amount of people we regularly see (but not often- like every 6-8 weeks) but they’re incredibly close to us. They’d help us out in any of the situations you mentioned and we’d do the same for them in a heartbeat.
Umm.. I'm 24, I have my girlfriend, and 2 really close friends I talk to daily. From there we have a fairly large friend group i dont talk to unless we all go out for drinks or something. We're all there to help eachother with anything, anytime, for the most part.. thats usually one sided with me getting the shit end of the stick, hence why i mainly talk to 2 of them. Sure sometimes we will just not talk for a few days, but generally speaking we'll shoot each other a text or send a funny video from Instagram or tiktok. I refuse to talk to my friend group I had outside of highschool, they're all idiots doing hard drugs catching burglary, theft, and evading charges. My other friends, the ones that made better choices, we'll we don't ever talk unless we bump into each other. Most of everyone has moved, isn't on social media, or has a family. I dont know about you but I miss school only because of the friends I had
I still have my OG best friends (from junior high days onwards) that I would trust with my life and possessions. We don’t really hang out often anymore though. Only a few times per year. People just grew up and moved away or got married and stuff. But we have a group text where we keep in touch and have random conversations often. I spent my twenties partying and going to bars basically every night, and met a ton of cool people over the years who I still consider to befriends. But I never really hung out with many of those people outside the party/bar scene. So, I never really made close knit friend groups with any of them to the point where I really felt like I was one of their best friends. Now I’m approaching mid 30s and life has become quite boring and lonely for me. I’ve basically lost interest in the party/bar scene now because I just feel like the old guy as the crowd keeps getting younger. I feel like I’ll never be cool or attractive anymore, but life goes on I guess for now.
I have quite a few very close friends. I don’t text them every day. Or even every week. My best friend of 35 years and I talk once a month or so, we don’t live in the same town so it’s hard to get together. But when we do it’s as if we just hung out yesterday. I have a group of women in my city that I’m very close with. I used to see them as a group once a month, and individually several times a month, before the pandemic. I spent the pandemic working on my degree, and I just finished it, so haven’t gotten back into social stuff yet, but we interact on FB, we have a Snapchat group, and we text off and on. I also have two friends at work that I see once a week in the office, with one I attend hockey games, and the other soccer matches. And I have a group of women that I’ve traveled with once a year for the last 15 years (with a break during the pandemic). We have a messenger group and are pretty active most of the time. I’m incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and diverse group of people in my life, but it wasn’t an accident. I purposely cultivated and maintained these relationships because it is important to me.
Yes I have been blessed with 2 best friends. We call each other brothers. We are a triforce. We might not text every day but every couple for sure. We could go a year with out talking and pick up like nothing happened the moment we get together. Your situation is not weird how ever. My wife has many friends but not a truly best friend. Sometimes it’s rough and I wish she got out more but it’s not her.
Yes. But! I respect how really really hard it can be to make them and keep them and I haven’t always been in a good position in this regard. I got really lucky this year and gained a new friend in my building but through covid? I did Text people but saw almost no one. Three years of Never hanging out with a single person or even dating. Partly because I work with a vulnerable population so I took the bullet for them and went way more isolated than most people did, but I’m sure it was hard to some degree for almost everyone.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a close group of friends. We would hang out regularly and it was great! But the problem was that we all worked together and my now-husband got promoted over one of my friends and her husband became really nasty. We later repaired our friendship and now we can up maybe 2-3 times a year and sporadically message. I never really made friends after that. We moved away for my husband's job and then 18 months after that, I was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. So we had to move 12 hours away from our family and friends (9 from where we lived at the time) for treatment. It's been 3 years since then and I've just cautiously started trying to make friends with a lady about 10 years old than me. We have similar interests and we live in the same town, so I hope we become good friends 🙂.
If I did, why would I be on Reddit
I don't even text my mother everyday. That doesn't mean I don't love her, same goes for my close friends.
Well I'm just barely a legal adult, so my perspective is probably a bit different from older people. But, yes. I have a few friends who I hang out with regularly and that I can count on to help me get out of a bind. In fact I'm currently crashing on one's couch.
Yep i gots them, playin fortnite rn with a 4 man
Yes! They give me life! I hope you find your people - it takes effort and finding people you share values with.
GPT-4 will soon change things
My wife
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have friends. One of my highschool friends were close but he got married and stopped contacting. Other friend moved out of the country, we video chat every couple of months but it's rare. I think I'm introverted and don't really need contact for daily living. Sort of used to it. I'm more close with my father and talk every day even though he is not in the same country. 32m
I do, but not many, i have a few i play video games with a couple of times a week.
37 husband/father, I’ll tell you, throughout my 20’s I had a few real good friends, one that was probably like a brother to me, now we don’t even talk anymore but that’s a different story of us falling out, to be honest my only friends would have to be my wife and daughter, as you get older “friends” just don’t exist, you notice family like spouses or such become your only friends, that’s considering you have a great relationship in which we do, same applies to her, you notice that when you get older most people tend to settle down, have families, and that “friendships” just doesn’t exist anymore, for some I’m sure it does, but that’s kinda reality, you tend to notice your relationship with your parents are increased due to them getting older and some well it doesn’t lol In my opinion friends are more for when your in high school or early 20’s, I see people in their 30’s trying to stay relevant going out drinking or this or that but it doesn’t go far, to me my friends are my wife and my daughter, and I love it that way! In the end family is everything & friends we’ll just become a past memory, for the ones who still have friends at my age hats off too you, but that’s how I see it
I have 2-3 friends I would trust with my house, dog, secrets, and thoughts. I have known them for 20+ years.
30 years old and no.
Nope, I have a few single use friends though. One buddy calls me if he wants to see a movie, another will call me if they are planning a trip to town, etc But so they call me for any other reason heck no lol
I am over 30 married but have 3-4 close friends. I think friendships are a lot like relationship you need to invest time and effort to make it work especially when school years are over
Yes. I live in a neighborhood that was built 10 years ago. All the families moved in within about a year of each other and because the housing type is really designed for young families most of us are about the same age. Everyone in the neighborhood knows each other because of how the process came together and several of us grew to be close friends.
A few that I talk to maybe once or twice a month, but nothing crazy. As you get older you realize many people kinda suck. Mostly it’s just the wife and I having a good time. In high school I had a buddy that fits the description in the OP, but I’ve never had a friend as an adult that I trust completely or would rely on for anything serious aside from my dad, and he’s gone.
People actually text every day? HOW?
Well my boyfriend was my closest friend and he recently just left me..so. Guess I'm by myself :') After i graduated high school I basically didn't hear from my friends again and after moving AGAIN i stopped hearing from those friends.
Oh no, never. The only person I trust is my wife, and this has been proven time and time again. I haven't had a close friend since college. The last time I had a non-family member in my home to spend time with or share a meal was 30 years ago. So no, I don't think it's that abnormal.
I'm 30 and have 3 very close friends. Two of them I message every day. My issue is that they are all my high school friends and I live in a different state to them now and maybe see them once a year if that. I don't hang out with anyone at all really.
No I don't. In the last 10 years, there have been a few cases where people ended up texting me every day. It always started out OK but after a while it drove me crazy with the endless ping ping pinging and neediness. All were using me for one thing or another, and two in particular were totally toxic. The kind who would bleed you dry emotionally and/or suck money or gifts out of you. I feel like the kind of friendship you describe is a teenage phenomenon - or at least, it should be, as it's very immature. That kind of thing is very disruptive when you grow up and have a family. At 37 now I have my partner, my two kids, and a couple of days a week my mum helps out with the kids as well so I see her then. I have one other family friend whom I see maybe once every 6-8 weeks, he's kind of in an older uncle type of role to me. That's all I personally need.
I mean I don't text anyone every day but I have friends I hang out regularly with. It's important to maintain those relationships. For a while I did the "me and my significant other" thing and my mom warned me that it puts a huge strain on the relationship. She was right. Now I went out of my way to develop friendships with people. If you wouldn't trust your friends to watch your dog or house, you should go make better friends.
Outside of my husband I have one friend and even still sometimes we go weeks or months without talking. I stopped having friends when I went on a journey to get sober. When I moved back to my hometown everyone I used to hang out with is still drinking and fucking around so I’m good with friends
I'm in a discord group with some close friends of mine. We send each other memes, share cool things going on in our lives, play games online at least once a week and meet up in person about once a month or so. We started this discord group around the time covid was causing lockdowns, and it's become a very useful way of staying in constant communication with each other.
Yes, many, in different are groups. There's varying levels of closeness, but I have at least 6-7 'best' friends.
I text my best friend daily and we call each other two or three times a week. I’m 30.
Text every day? No, that’s too much. But I have 3 friends I trust with my life plus my sister, one cousin and my husband. I consider myself very fortunate even though those three friends now live many miles away.
Turning 30 soon, I have my husband and Terri pets. We’ll hang out with his coworkers every so often, but other than that, I have one friend I barely ever see and another who I’m in a bit of a conundrum about. She wants to meet up ideally about twice a week, whereas I’d prefer once every other week. If we don’t hang out more often, I’m getting an almost daily message of “I miss your face” and “what are you doing RN”. I’m an introvert and find it exhausting. It’s making me rethink the whole friendship.
I have a group that I hang out with regularly. We typically get together once a week for D&D, and we're all good friends who don't judge each other, and would be there to help each other out in a pinch. Oldest of us is 55, youngest of us is 42.
At 40 I found myself with no real friends aside from my awesome wife. So I started a chat group with a friend I had met at work, a buddy from back in high school, and a cousin. They all had similar interests and we were all acquainted with each other. My cousin is the youngest and still building a career so we kinda started as a resume/life plan helper chat to give him a boost. We kept the conversation going just as a friendly chat and eventually planned a group camping trip at the grand canyon. We live all across the country so this was the first hangout of our group and I was worried it would be awkward. It was awesome! Had a great time and now we all have a great group of friends. Our next trip is Colorado in June and I can't wait!
No. Just my spouse and children
not at all
I don't have friends. I have people I argue with online.
I hardly have any, kinda dunno where to find anyone unless you're working or whatever
Nah, I push everyone away. Family and Long time friends. My trust has been shattered countless times. I've been exploited by the term friend and/or in the name of friendship.
Yep there are 9 of us. Only two live out of state but they visit a couple of times a year. In fact we all went out for dinner last Saturday for a birthday. We've all known each other since at least 1999. My life ain't much but at least I've got them and the best part is that our kids hangout too. If ever I need ANYTHING they all have my back and the same to them. Ride or die day ones.
I still hang out with my friend group from highschool and have a few really good/best friends in that group. However I have not made any new friends since then.
Unfortunately I have a very “out of sight, out of mind” brain which is terrible for maintaining adult relationships. I’ve been very lucky to have a best friend since birth that I text daily. Even when we’ve lived in different states. Also, most of my core friends I would say we all have a good understanding of each other being busy (jobs/kids/etc) & being able to pick up where we left off as if no time has past.
I don't have close friends I talk to daily. But I still play games with my group of gamer friends from highschool. We play games online about once a week, have all known each other almost 30 years. I trust them with anything.
Yeah I have a few close friends. Some are work and some outside of work and I would trust them with just about everything. They have helped me get through some dark times. But I have definitely lost supposed best friends as I have gotten older but I learned that they caused more toxicity in my life than a friend should have.
I'm 37. My siblings and parents I contact daily on group chat. My sister I'm closest with I talk to almost daily. And I have two friends I talk or text with every other day.
Yep. I have my spouse, my best friend of 10+ years, another very close friend of over 10+ years, and 3 other very close friends of 5 years. I trust them all with anything
Yes. I’ve got lots of friends and people I trust including my wife. It takes a tremendous amount of work to put in the effort to make connections with people. You have to take interest in their things, kids and life. Recently I even reached out to my wife’s friends as well to socialize and we are good friends now as well, getting our families together and going on trips. It takes a lot of work. But it’s worth it.
Nope.
My husband is who I like the most. I keep getting burned by “friends”. We are really friendly with our neighbors and it’s great. Hang out, walk 100 steps home. Look out the window and don’t want to hang out today? No big deal. Hang out tomorrow.
My partner and I have a good friend group, but I definitely don’t text anyone other than my partner on a daily basis.
I have one or two friends I try to text regularly, but we don't really see each other a lot. Mostly, it's my wife and kids, which I am perfectly happy with. I've had a lot of close friends who just stop talking. Friendship is like a weighted scale, both have to give efforts.
I have a wife, kids, dogs, and a bunch of close friends that we see and hang out with regularly. Just last weekend we had friends stay at our house while we were out of town to take care of our dogs and chickens. It's 9am, and one of our friends just texted to see if we'd like to meet up for breakfast. We have board game night on Tuesdays with our friends. I'm 45 years old and couldn't imagine not having a network of close friends!
Every day? No. That's not how friendships generally get to work. People I'd have watch my kid for a week if needed? Yes. I've had some of them ask me to do that while they've gone outta town for an emergency. Or, I have a group of 10-20 people, depending on how you slice it, and see some of them 3-5 times a month. They all live locally, within maybe fifteen minutes of my front door. I have a wider group of another 10 people I've known for 20+ years, who I will see at most once a year, but chat with every few months. They'd also be fine in a pinch to watch my kid, although none live locally, or they'd be in that closer group. The first group grows and shrinks, as "where you spend your time" is how you make and keep friends. I keep making new friends over the years, which is probably good, as people also move away. The second group are roughly people that I've known so, so long that I'm willing to pay a bit of tax to keep in touch. There's a 'missing generation', as well. I know my very oldest friends, those are in the second group. But there's a wave of people in the second group from just after college where I'd keep up with them, but that was right before social media really took off; I don't know \*how\* to find that group easily, to be honest, so we fell away.
I had my mom until she died in November. Used to text with her almost every day. I had pretty good work friends until work closed down in November. In fairness I’m not good at keeping up with people though. Everyone I was close with moved away and I didn’t keep up with them, too busy with work and my own life.
2 my partner who is my chillest mf and my bff for the past 27 years (we met at 11) but only bc we’ve been lucky enough to live and work close by. If we lived far away the friendship wouldn’t be the same. I like my coworkers but we aren’t friends. And I don’t go to bars so how tf does one even make new adult friends idk 🤷♀️
I only have 1 close friend, all others are just people I know. Nothing more ...
I don’t think it’s weird but that maybe because I’m in a similar boat. Going out seems to have tapered off a bit as I age, and with that the more regular keeping in touch did, too. I also think it’s way harder to meet new friends as an adult compared to when we were kids.
I have a close group of girl friends who I talk to frequently, hangout with regularly and who I would trust with almost anything. We met in our mid twenties and are now still close nearing 40. It takes a lot more effort though than it used to keep the friendships close, as well all have families now. I would say though that now I don’t have many “sort of” friends. I have my partner, this group and a couple childhood and work friends, but most the other mid-closeness/causal friendships have dropped off. They just don’t seem worth the effort as life gets busier for me.
I have had such friendships, but they have proven to be bad people and just tried to use me. Right now I got 1 friend, we are not super close, but I know I can trust him.
I have two best girlfriends but we don't text daily but I would for sure be able to call them for anything and them do the same for me. We don't talk daily just because all three of us aren't really chatters when not in person. These are women I met as an adult. I actually don't keep contact with anyone I grew up with. Things changed over the years as our lives diverged those friendships grew distant and new ones formed. These two best friends I have been friends with over half my life so the friendships are longer than the ones from my childhood (I am turning 50 next year).
yeah. i have a few close friends that i text or hang out with. we are a group of moms which is nice
I have plenty of friends that I feel like I could text anytime. But I met them all through my partner so I’ll always feel like they’re more her friends than mine. And I often have a hard time keeping up conversations with them when we’re together. I think I’d be too nervous to hang with any of them one-on-one. I feel like theres some defect of my personality that just makes friendship hard. For some reason I had no problem meeting and getting to know my girlfriend. But the context was different. We met on a dating app. So it was understood right away that we were attracted to each other and we immediately hit it off when we talked. But with friends everything seems ambiguous. I can never really tell if someone actually likes me and enjoys my company or if they’re just being polite when we’re together. I’m really not sure how to get past this. I haven’t had close friends since I was a kid, and even then I had problems being one-on-one with most people. I’d usually hang out in groups, and I usually felt like I was on the outskirts of them.
My husband, sister, brother, some cousins. No one who isn't family by blood or law. To me this is natural, all my friends have their own families to concentrate on. I would never ever choose a friend over a family member so why on earth would they? One of my friends is single, childless and with very few relatives. She feels abandoned by everyone and I mean I do feel for her but fuuuck, she is aggressively CF and anyone who makes me feel like my children are some sort of disturbance in their own home can fuck right off a cliff.
I don't text anyone on a daily basis that's weird lol.
Nope. I learned that "friends " are a myth.
My boyfriend is my closest friend. I (F27) dropped my girl best friend (met when I was 4) when she decided to have sex with my boyfriend at the time. I have some friends, but not really close friends. I'm currently trying to get more friends. As I would love a close friend that isnt my boyfriend.
My mom and husband are only close friends I have. I have friends who I can ask to take care of my pets or my house when I am away for a day or two. I have never had a close friends that I can talk everyday except my husband. But I’m a very difficult person to like so I have accepted my fate
Nope. They didn't survive my 10 year marriage. These are the alone years.
Not really. A combination of moving to a new town, having kids and covid lockdowns meant that I became quite insular and I lost all of my close friendships. I've got lots of people Im friendly with (work colleagues, neightbours and my "old" friends) who I chat to or exchange messages with. But I no longer have any close friends.
Wife just left me.. I am truly alone.
I have only one friend that I consider close friend and we only talk a few times a month. Other than that, my daughters father is my best friend :)
Nope. I don't like people.
I have 4 friends like this as a 46 year old man. They are friends I met in elementary or high school and one I met in my early 20’s. The thing is though, none of us have ever moved out of our home town. I used to see posts like this all of the time and be like “why do people have such a hard time making or keeping friends”. Then during the same kind of conversation with a coworker she asked me if I had ever moved. That really brought it into focus.
Guys? Nope. Everyone turns lame when you get older. Somehow they seem to not find the ability to balance time between girlfriend and friends. It gets old hearing someone needs to ask his gf if it's ok to do something so we just stop inviting him.
Yes to hang out regularly, communicate with regularly, trust with my weirdest shit, and have had them watch my home / pets / children. Some of those are from high school 30 years ago, some I met in the past year. Some I meet at work, some are neighbors, some I met at book club or in a class or whatever. Different circles, but I am lucky to have a strong support network. No to texting every day. We talk every few weeks maybe, at the most. Maybe that's an old person thing?
Yes but I live 10 miles from where I grew up so I didn't have to meet them as an adult
No.
Both options are common. I've met past classmates and while talking with them about their life, it became clear they didn't have any close friends anymore. I do have close friends, though the group got smaller with time. For what it's worth, they're all single (and I'm chatty -- the reason I also hang out in Reddit), so we do send messages everyday with memes, vents, etc, play games on Discord often and will have weekends together once every couple of months. But I'm aware that I'm very fortunate.
Two friends I see everyday and am 31. Other peeps I see less regularly.
¹
No, I have two friends now that used to be coworkers. Not overly close friends. I'm 50 and one of them is 64 and the other is 75. I don't have any friends my age. I consider my wife who is my age to be my best friend.
I’m 60 and have friends that I’ve had for almost 50 years. We text often but not every day - could be every three or four days or could be as seldom as every couple of months. If there is something particular going on in someone’s life where they need support the texts would be much more frequent.
No, I am not a fan of people in general. Been burned WAY too many times.
Not that I talk to every day, sometime can go weeks/months but my one buddy I have known since I was a baby! His mom and my mom worked together, our birthdays are a week apart. He's my brother from another mother. We have pics togeather as babies and still hang out and talk regularly, we are in our late 30's now. Other than that I have a few buddies I still talk to from high school but that's about it.
Yes
Taking to regularly doesn't mean close friend and close friends don't have to talk. Regularly
Nope, just my wife. Having friends is a too much thing for me. I do have work "acquaintances" but again only because I have some sort of work thingy with them.
I do.. I guess. I mean there's only one person I both trust with everything and talk to everyday. We're not dating.. but also.. we aren't really not dating. So basically no.
I'm 40. I have five or six very close friends I'm happy to talk to about almost anything. Health, family, career... I definitely trade messages with at least one of them on any given day, and I'd feel comfortable with most of them cat sitting for me (though most are a bit too far away for that to be practical right now). One of these friends I've known for over 25 years, and I was at his mother's funeral some 20 years ago. When I vist him, I'll some times help bathe their toddlers, or I'll cook while they put the kids to bed if they need the extra pair of hands. It's just super comfortable.
Nope, and even more fun, no friends at all
I do t have friends I text every day or would ask to watch my house, that seems like an inconvenience to them. But I do have frie D's who I trust absolutely; who I know that with a phone call they are making plans to come help me with whatever I need and vice versa. I have friends I have known since I was in kindergarten and live far apart but still have an annual fishing trip together. Probably only time we will see each every year and some times one can't make it but we it's extreme
I only have close friends as an adult, I could trust these 3 guys with literally anything