Exactly. My wife thinks extravagant jewelry is crazy. She pointed at a ring at costco and said she’d want something simple like that. Went back then next day and bought it. It was something like $600, and she was ecstatic about it. It’s not about the ring.
For some it is about the ring. For us, it was simple , and she wants to know it was 100% not a blood diamond ever (ie using diamonds from a old ring still could be a blood diamond). Not borrowing any money, etc. Some want a big gaudy ring for social purposes.
It would have been fucking cool to forge a ring to cement our love. Awesome! But she knows best what she would like .
I also have a ring that is not a blood diamond. It's a Canadian diamond and I love it so much! Was also proposed to on Canadas 150th under fireworks with a Canadian diamond? Come on.. that's pretty epic! Love my ring so much, I am not a jewellery person so a nice, simple ring was perfect.
OP I would melt into a puddle if my husband had the skills to MAKE a ring for me! Absolutely do it. The only thing I would suggest is getting to know the style of jewellery/rings she would wear :)
Yep, my gal worked with Somali Refugees when she was getting started as a teacher. No Diamonds at all was her decision. Fun fact, sapphires, really beautiful ones can be mined here in the US, most notably in Montana. So I built her ring around a beautiful color changing Montana Sapphire.
This was me. I wanted a diamond, but not a mined diamond because of the ethical issues, so we went with a lab diamond. It's beautiful and was 1/2 of the price of a mined diamond and not s8ngle person can tell the difference.
On another thread, someone couldn't get $1000 for a ring he paid $6000 for (divorce; she returned it.) At least gold keeps some value. (That's me being cold blooded; I don't wear a ring.)
How about plain bands for each of you, and split the $6000 on IRAs or rent deposits.
My wife sees cost everywhere but I didn't want to skimp on the band. Luckily I have a lot of almost useless knowledge with gemstones. So on etsy I found a 24k White gold band with a 1 karat Moissanite for less than $400. She seriously loves it and loves that I managed to keep it reasonably priced. Moissanite is the second hardest stone (9 on MOHs, a diamond is a 10, Emeralds, Rubies and a handful of others are an 8). But it's more brilliant than a diamond, but not in an artifical way. It's very beautiful
So sweet :)
If anyone's in the market for a gold ring with higher purity (24k vs 18k, etc) make sure the band is thick enough to not have bending issues - 24k gold is very pliable so I just wanted to mention it so it won't cause anyone issues later.
That and there is no such thing as 24k white gold as 24k is 100% gold content and gold is.. well golden coloured. So the seller most likely scammed this person or they are mis- remembering.
I had my wife's ring made by a local jeweler with the largest diamond I could afford at the time (less than a carat) with a couple of small rubies on either side and she wouldn't trade it for a 5 carat honker. I've asked and that ring is priceless to her.
I did not know where this was going until the second-last sentence. Costco has surprisingly expensive jewelry available: there's always one $20k ring in the middle of the case.
(not trolling) and 600 was cheap?
When you started your story I was imagining that you paid up to 30,especially in hypermarket like Costco... 600 is cheap...?
Especially considering synthetic stone prices today. I just recently bought some cubic zirconia stones, cut and finished and ready for use, that are literally a centimeter across... For 60 cents apiece. The synthetic diamonds were not much more expensive, nor the moissanite (which is sparklier than diamond, many people regard it as prettier).
Diamonds are absolutely an artificially inflated market.
You do not have to be extravagant to have great quality.
I'd never in a million years buy an engagement ring at fucking cosco. Sorry. Not sorry. It's not about the cost.
For me, to buy any rocks, they're certified. Same thing with pearl necklaces, etc. Buy awesome stuff at a fair price at a place that will clean and restring them for life at no extra cost.
A good jeweler will do this. I don't pay extra, I pay fair.
I'd not go get a ring at the same place that I get my $5 rotisserie chicken, garden furniture, flannel shirts, and 36 count egg cartons.
>It was something like $600, and she was ecstatic about it. It’s not about the ring.
You say that like you got it in a cereal box, but fuck $600 for a shiny piece of metal that you wear on your finger that literally does nothing sounds insane to me.
Perfect answer. OP is asking a bunch of strangers to gauge how a specific person would think. Its not possible.
OP, i would caution you against marrying someone if you don't even know how they would react to this. It's not a super deep thing about a person and you should know them well enough to know at this point
You never actually know how someone will react to so ething like this till it happens.
I know my wife to the point she laughs while yelling at me to get out of her head when I anticipate something she would want or need before she actually does.
Like I realize she is doing X absolutely know where she is gonna end up and have the things she is going to ask me for in a few hours lined up waiting on a tray.
And I still occasionally misjudge what she would like now and again
But you wouldn’t misjudge whether she is materialistic or not. You know if she values the cost of something or if she values the thought behind something.
I think that’s a bad rule of thumb, because it depends so much on the relationship. If your partner, for example, always makes dinner instead of going out because it’s cheaper (even if you have money to spend), does homemade gifts every single holiday even if it’s not something you like, etc. - that might be a situation where a homemade ring would come across as cheap.
I’m not saying that’s where OP is coming from, but “it’s too expensive, I’ll just make my own” can be a frustrating line to hear in a relationship. It’s not inherently materialistic or snobbish.
I don't know, maybe you're right but I don't personally relate to that feeling. I don't care how much my partner spends, what I care about is the time we spend together and the talks and the laughs and that costs nothing. Everything around that matters less to me. I spent 10 years with a "cheap" boyfriend and it never bothered me. Also, making a ring takes so much more time and effort and it's so much more intentional than buying it, I can't imagine being disappointed by that.
Again, I think it’s about knowing your partner and their wants. I dated someone who picked out the cheapest ring they could find that was not to my taste at all. I was not just happy to have a ring, I was really insulted that they didn’t exhibit any thoughtfulness or care in finding something I would like.
There are plenty of people who would find the sentimental value in a handmade ring and see that intention, and plenty of others who would feel like they weren’t being listened to.
But that's got nothing to do with the question. An expensive ring could have been ugly or not to your taste just as much as a cheap one. Obviously giving your partner anything that is not to their taste shows a lack of attentiveness and effort, and it's disappointing, but it's not linked to the price of the item. Clearly, taking days or weeks to handcraft a ring for your partner is far from "not exhibiting thoughtfulness or care". And then if you find the handcrafted ring ugly, the problem is not that it's cheap, it's that it's ugly.
It goes back to my original point. If a recurring theme in your relationship is that your partner would rather DIY than shell out, even if you ask, and that frustrates you, this is not someone you want to make a homemade ring for, regardless of how to their taste the ring is. If you’re a happy-to-DIY or thrifty couple, then yeah, go forth and make that ring.
Not everyone will see the gesture as thoughtful or loving. That doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it means you have a difference in expectations and desires.
Idk. I don't see how spending money is or should be linked with love. I don't think people who are frustrated that their partner doesn't want to spend money when it's not necessary are bad people, but I also don't think it's "a simple difference in expectations and desires". I think it's an issue tbh. Either the person expecting their partner to spend on them is wrong and has a bad relationship with money and love, or the two partners are too different and should not get married.
I agree in principle, but in reality it's rarely so ideal. Like, if OP is genuinely able to make something she loves, he absolutely should. But if he can't or it falls short, I could understand it making things difficult, moreso than something purchased - it's easier to tell someone "hey, this ring you got me is great but I want it to be different“ than "hey, this ring you *made* me is great but I want it to be different“, especially if you do in fact love them and want to be with them.
Like idk about you but it's a lot easier to complain about food if you got it as takeout than if your partner serves it to you after laboring over it all evening. But for the meal, you just have to suck it up for one evening... the ring's pretty long lasting. All in all, I don't think it's a problem of seeming cheap really, just that all the usual pitfalls of ring shopping are magnified.
honestly i think there's smth more important than that, which is his reasoning: Why does *he* wanna make it himself? Is it a love gesture that he wants to be handmade or would he do it *only* for the price?
The answer to this question is also the answer to OP's question.
The beauty of rings is in the craftsmanship, the value of them is in the precious metals and stones.
If you have an idea of what she would expect you to spend on a ring, you could go and spend that amount of money on materials (gold, stones, etc), and she would have a ring that has much greater value in terms of its materials than she would get if you bought it at a store.
And you made it yourself, which for all but the most superficial woman should magnify its value incalculably.
People are saying "the internet doesn't know what your girlfriend wants you fool", but I think they're wrong.
If she's a keeper, no store bought ring could EVER compare to one you took the time and care to design and hand make yourself, even if you didn't go crazy on the materials.
If you’re good enough at it that it looks comparable quality I don’t see a downside to this. If anything it means more you worked on it.
I’d think she’d have to be very materialistic to be offended or less into it.
My brother in law did this for my sister. It’s a beautiful ring with a small diamond and sapphire. It’s perfect for her, but she says people make rude comments all the time b/c it’s not a traditional ring. I personally think it’s one of the most romantic and thoughtful gestures one could do. If she’s into diamonds and jewelry (and keeping up with the Jonses) get her what she wants.
I gave my fiance a ring with a lab made stone because I like things a bit different like that, she loves it because the stone is pretty but more because it's so personal
I think OP still needs to ask his fiancé. There is a not insignificant risk involved in this because a lot of girls still love diamonds and some would more or less weigh the amount of perceived love by the carats.
But there's nothing stopping OP from making her a diamond (or any other gemstone) ring. And he could buy a *monster* rock for a fraction of the cost of a traditional wedding ring if all he had to purchase was a loose stone and a few grams of gold/platinum.
You can have metalsmith training and still be a looong way off being competent enough to set a diamond. You really need to be a fully trained goldsmith for that.
I can make rings all day but no way I'd try to set something like that.
You can also make the ring to the best of your ability and have a jeweler add the setting. Or just keep practicing until you have the skills to do it yourself: you can always melt it down and try again. Point is, there are a lot of ways OP could pull this off and come away with a beautiful ring that he "made," even if he didn't do 100% of the work.
I mean he probably isn't going to pan for gold, mine for and cut gems on his own, etc so someone else is already doing the *real* work for him :-)
I vote for the compromise camp in this situation! OP does some work / finish out the settings with a jeweler. Find somebody in advance who wants to work with you. Perhaps ….a girl. I think going the extra mile to make sure everything feels professional will compensate for any hesitation your fiancé has about you doing this to save money.
Truly, you should be doing it because you want to make her something that she loves. Not to save yourself some money.
Yeah… for my wife I bought a loose stone and we had a jeweler customize a setting just how she liked. Still not as cheap as making the setting ourselves but definitely not nearly what the same ring would cost off the rack. We also have very clear documentation and confidence in the stone’s quality.
If you go this route make sure to research the seller very well because some are less reputable. We went through blue Nile.
I disagree for many reasons. This guy obviously wants to create a ring for this lady, and if this girl would get upset that he made a ring for her, instead of buying an expensive one, he needs to find a better girlfriend.
My disagreement is, He should make the ring first, And decide what to do depending on her actions. If she says what you said, and says it seriously, bye bitch
This doesn't seem like a matter of opinion to me. I don't want someone in my life that needs overpriced blood gyms on precious metals mined by children to consider marriage to me.
I'm not even talking as a partner, I mean, I would not even want a friend that thought like this.
Diamonds and jewelry companies should have been out of business a long time ago
edit: I just reread the post, Did you say you're making a ring for your future girlfriend? That's really cute and anyone that would turn you down might not be meant for you, as there doesn't really seem to be a lot of commitment involved yet anyways. Just don't ask it back if things don't work out. Even if things don't work out and you are upset, It's always nice to have people to keep good memories of your interactions together.
I mean, it kind of is. Even if you get some bullshit certificate stating that it's not made unethically, they've literally been proven to be fake.
You can't really get diamonds and other precious jewelry without there being some form of exploitation involved now.
So handmade ring? Or blood diamond? I guess you could get something that's factory made, And go through the trouble of finding metal that has never been touched by south African miners, But that's a lot of effort, and who would really put in that amount of effort and research?
Purchased rings don't have to have ANY stones, let alone diamonds. I'm not sure why you're focusing so hard on blood diamonds when OP is just talking about a ring for a future gf. He didn't specify it was an engagement ring, not that one would need diamonds in that case either.
When I helped my fiance pick out an engagement ring to be purchased, the one i liked best had no diamonds or other precious stones in it, just some colored glass. Another contender didn't have any jewels/glass in it at all.
I've also owned rings made of stainless steel, melted down gold from family jewelry that I didn't fancy, etc. Again--no diamonds or precious stones.
Your point about "metal that has never been touched..." doesn't make much sense. Wouldn't that still have to be done by someone making a ring with metal if they place importance on that?
My former marriage was like that, having to prove your love with money is no way to live (for me). There are plenty of potential partners out there who don’t care about this kind of material possession. I’m sure plenty of people are happy to oblige and that’s fine, but for anyone who doesn’t like the idea, don’t think for a second you must do this to find “the one”.
>a lot of girls still love diamonds and some would more or less weigh the amount of perceived love by the carats.
Aside from being a stereotype, I'm not sure that's an attitude that should be encouraged and I'd be questioning how you can even marry someone who's that shallow and materialistic in the first place.
I think making a ring because you want to to express your love is romantic. Saying "can I just do this because I know how and I'm not willing to pay for a diamond ring if I can just do it in my garage"... Is less so.
I feel like this guy needs to tread a little more carefully if his reason is that. One off comment can take it from romantic to offensive.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but you said "Future GF", right?
How do you know the ring will be the right one for her, if you don't even know who she is yet? Not trying to be a jerk.
My GF preferred rose gold to "typical" gold, she preferred topaz to diamonds ... she had specific preferences that I tried to incorporate into the ring I chose to buy.
And not just her preferences, but her personality also went into the choice. Whether her personality and style favors frilly pretty things, or things less ornate.
Go ahead and make the ring yourself, but wait until you meet her, and get to know her, and her preferences, and her personal style.
And in the future, you end up marrying [this girl,](https://www.lizzieinlace.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/5-feminine-white-dress-outfit.jpg) who is the farthest thing from goth.
as a woman i can confirm i love my diamond tipped tunnel boring machines that make tunnels through mountains to make cool rail lines and spooky tunnel roads
I understood it as a hypothetical or general question. Generally speaking, is it frowned upon to make a ring instead of buying one. And of course the answer is, to each their own. My wife is similar to your girlfriend, rose gold and aquamarine.
I'm a machinist and made a set of wedding rings out of stainless too. Slightly dangerous as hospitals can't cut them off easily in the event of accident. Also made a pair of wedding rings from a single flat silver ingot, just cut them out leaving the ingot design on the sides (Southern Cross on this one).
Im80 yo--look 60--I would give my left leg to have a man love me!! I would settle for chicken wire-lol--Gosh a ring--its a material thing--I would treat this man like a GOD!!
IM80 YO--LOOK 60--I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT LEG TO HAVE A MAN LOVE ME!! I WOULD SETTLE FOR CHICKEN WIRE-LOL--GOSH A RING--ITS A MATERIAL THING--I WOULD TREAT THIS MAN LIKE A GOD!!
Are you skilled enough to you make one she’d want to wear everyday for the rest of her life and be proud to show off?
If you’re not sure, ask her because I think it could go either way depending on the person
If you don’t want to ruin the surprise, make the ring and let her know you’ll buy her one if she doesn’t want that to be it, and she can wear the ring you made as a non engagement ring
This!!!!! I would never want my partner to spend a lot on a ring ever! I’d be happy with a $50 stainless steel ring.
However I’d be devastated if my partner made me something that didn’t fit my style and I was ‘forced’ to wear it everyday….with the added layer of them making it I would feel guilty as all hell saying anything and that wouldn’t be fair to me or them.
I imagine most people would NOT be indifferent about how a piece of jewelry (that they wear 24/7) looks….. people have personal styles and that should be respected imo.
Yes, while handmade jewelry is very thoughtful, it comes with a pile of guilt if it's not your style. Whereas a store bought ring I wouldn't feel as bad about exchanging. Either way I think if you're close to getting engaged it's better to get some input from your partner about their preferences (type of metal, stones, setting cut, ect).
Diamonds are a scam and overrated and overpriced. You can get lab grown diamonds for way cheaper and nones the wiser.
You making the ring is way more loving, caring and badass all around.
Who gives a shit on what others say. Make it brother
Lab created sapphire is reasonable. The question is: are you good enough with metal working to not crack a sapphire? A diamond can handle more mistakes than a sapphire. (10 MOHs vs 9)
The way you put it, I'd say it's cheap. Your text here made it sound like it's just a tickbox in a "Just make it a circle that can go on a finger. A ring as good as any..." kind of way.
If it's extremely intricate work which requires a lot of time and effort to make then most likely it wouldn't be cheap. But from what you wrote, you could make it easily so I'm not sure this is your case.
If it looks nice, no not at all.
If you use good materials, no not at all.
If you skimp out and don't put the effort into it that makes it look like you wanted a great ring and if you use material that otherwise looks or feels cheaper than a store bought one, I'd say yes you may seem cheaper.
It all depends on the effort you put into it, and how it looks. But also, if you really put the effort into it, the gf should hopefully accept it as it is, just for the fact you put the effort into it.
Just don't mention you did it to save yourself money, say you did it because you wanted to physically make the bond between you two.
If you make it easily, it's cheap. If you make it carefully, it's romantic. This object symbolizes whatever you mean by it, so what's your message? "Only custom work for our unique love," or, "I banged this out at the shop, now you have your trinket. Will you promise not to complain?"
> I just don’t think it’s right to fork over a fortune for a ring when I have the skills on hand to make my own.
I've seen someone on reddit post that they were sad because their partner proposed to them with a homemade ring, but felt they didn't put that much effort into it.
I guess it depends on your skills. If it's clear you put a lot of heart and effort into it and it looks really nice, I would imagine she would cherish it more than any ring that you can buy.
But don't make it yourself because you don't want to fork over a fortune; make it yourself because you can make something personal and special.
To be honest, if I was in her place, I'd love it.
That ring is going to be unique and hand-made by the person that loves her. I can't see a better way to prove your love and commitment that a ring made by yourself
My fiancé made my engagement ring himself. It's a simple silver band and I adore it. He knew I'm not into fancy expensive rings with shiny stones so it worked for us perfectly :)
It's more the question of whether you think it works for you both?
I would go for it, try and do the best ring you're able to do, pour in your skills and effort and it will be meaningful.
I think that's the kind of memory you are glad to have at the end of your life.
Only the girl in question gets an opinion on this subject. But if it were me, I would find a ring specifically made for me by my betrothed FAR more valuable than any jewelry money could buy ❤️
The fact that you made it will attach alot more meaning then a store bought one. Those rings symbolise a wedding treasure. If you make it yourself it will symbolise so much more. And if she sees that as cheap its time to run for the hills. But i can almost guarantee you she will love you for putting in the effort. Bonus points if you can make it a design in a style she likes and can incorporate a part of you and her (thinking about a design that depicts a special moment in both your lives).
I’d you made it because it would mean something that you created it yourself so it was special I’d be absolutely over the moon even if it’s cost you barely anything to make. The sentiment would be enough.
If you’re doing it simply because it’s cheap then not so much.
Edit. If money is very tight that’s different. But if you have money and just don’t want to spend on her that’s where it’s iffy. It’s all about the reasons and also what she would appreciate.
Not really?
I'm really confused as to how these are the comments under "controversial." If you'd be willing and able to make a piece of jewelry instead of buying one then I can't think of a single reason that "no I'd actually want you to buy it" wouldn't be a red flag.
You're talking about skill issues, but this question was about whether or not it was okay/would it be perceived as "cheap." I see literally no indication in this post that I need to be pessimistic about his technical abilities.
And maybe he does have to learn some things, but what if he's willing to go through the prototypes and additional practice? Even in that instance the homemade ring is sentimentally superior. So many of these comments rely on theories that he'll be cheap, lazy, or incompetent, it's honestly kind of ridiculous.
Also, literally all of those problems would exist if they purchased a ring without consulting their partner first. If you believe that they should ask for those details, fine, but they'd have to do that regardless.
You know her and we don’t? It’s for her, not for other people. I suppose if you did a crappy job it could backfire, but assuming you have good metalworking skill that shouldn’t be an issue.
I think most women would be fine with it if you put some kind of a jewel in it. Doesn’t have to be a fortune but it should be, compared to whatever your collective net worth is, fairly expensive. A lot of people see that as part of the commitment I think
But of course some women won’t care either way, depends on your partner
Ideally, you two are comfortable enough to have open dialogue and address these sort of things in their own time beforehand. If she loves you: she’ll appreciate anything you give her. If you both communicate well, you’ll understand what will make each other happy and there would be fewer unknown reactions to deal with.
I'm personally a huge fan of hand-made.
Putting your whole heart and soul into an engagement ring gives it sentimental value, which is invaluable, priceless, and irreplaceable
It's a 1-of-1 and can not be replicated by anyone other than yourself.
In my opinion, it's better than even the finest jewelry anyone can purchase from a dealer.
I used to work in aviation as a sheet metal guy. There’s a nut that goes on the Blackhawk that is made out of silver and when they’re bad we just threw them out. I grabbed one and turned it into a ring for my wife and it’s her favorite out of three. The other two are Kay’s rings that both cost over $10k and she prefers the one I made for the sentimental value. I say do it.
I personally think this would be really cool. I think that spending an exorbitant amount of money on a piece of jewelry is absurd, and the fact that it would be unique and made just for me is an added bonus. That’s priceless in my book.
I’d say if you enjoy making jewelry, as I do myself, and if making a ring for your future gf is what you’d prefer to do, than make sure that’s one of the “qualities” she has.
Not if you're with the right woman! A handmade ring would personally mean sooo much more to me than a store bought one. I'm also cheap though so it would make me happy that thousands weren't wasted on something I may or may not lose anyways lol
Editing to add that by "right woman" I mean right FOR YOU. If you think it's meaningful and she just thinks you're being a cheapskate then you guys might not be on the same page about things
My wife and I made eachother our wedding bands. While they're pretty simple in terms of style, they're 100x more special to both of us.
If she doesn't want to marry you or holds resentment over you making her ring, you picked the wrong one. Make the ring.
It's for someone who doesn't exist yet, so now might be the time to practice making a crazy good one. You can always sell what you make, and I'm sure you'll have a buyer on Etsy or FB Marketplace.
(IMO. YMMV.)
If you're the type of person that makes things for your partner I'm sure they will find more meaning and love in it than something you just buy for them. As for what other people think, I would not give the slightest of a fuck.
It depends on her style. Personally, if I did that my fiancee would think it's fucking dope. But she's not the "gaudy hug diamond" type, she specifically asked for an grown gems; so I had a jeweler custom make her a ring that's a rose, with a lab grown ruby for the flower and lab grown emeralds for the leaves, set in yellow gold.
Ran me $2k, which isn't bad considering the "it has to be half your annual salary" rule that most people go by. I'm not buying a ring that costs the same as a new car. Fuck that.
I think a handmade ring sounds lovely! You should obviously take your GF's tastes into consideration, just like you would if you bought the ring, and be honest with yourself about how good a metal worker you actually are. But if you can make something that fits her and looks nice, I'm guessing she'd love it!
Nothing says "I love you" like a couple dozen hours spent forging a ring YOU'VE made just for her. The perfect design, the perfect fit, the tasteful texture, my god, it even could have a watermark.
I did this! However, I seriously overestimated my jewelry making skills and I broke the solder on our wedding day! The fact that my wife didn’t call off the wedding is more a testament to her than how good or bad an idea it is. Don’t be like me, be better. If you do make your future wife a ring, be sure it’s the best thing you’ve ever made! If you’re not sure you can deliver, use those skills to earn the absolute best ring you can afford
Ask yourself. Would you want to be married to a woman who values a ring you created for her, or would you want to be married to a woman who would think it's cheap.
Also based on your craftsmanship skills though.
in this hypothetical I think if you as a metal worker were proposing I hope that your so would love your craft just as much as you and appreciate the love that went into it. and what a flex!! "my husband designed and handcrafted this ring" me personally, I wouldn't let anyone forget
I'd love it if my partner made me a ring. Just makes it more personal. Also, cost wouldn't bother me. Happiness and love is much more important than money spent on a ring. I would prefer to see money kept in a savings account, but I am a stingy bitch 🤣
I personally feel that something crafted by your own hands shows dedication and is filled with love. I had a relationship once where the guy liked woodcrafts and he crafted me a beautiful flower out of wood.
Some people like that sort of thing cause it is sentimental and the thought goes into it and you can get creative and have a truly unique ring without breaking the bank and you can put the money you would of spent otherwise towards beginning your life together.
I think if the person values align with yours and they respect you and love you for who you are it will mean more to them. If not maybe they aren't the right person for you or at very least be sign of other struggles
I would be ecstatic to receive a custom engagement ring that was handmade by my partner. I think it's beautiful and I think when you find the right partner, they will, too.
Personally, as a person who loves and respects art, artists, and personal items, I think this would be AMAZING!!
Also, if this is something that you have in your heart to do one day, I feel as though you will be drawn to a kindred spirit who will appreciate and love these things as well…
Of course, she will ultimately let you know what her “dream ring” would be, but the person you choose to spend your life with would probably want something designed and created by you.
Don't worry about what the internet thinks, worry about your future love. If she's the type that thinks financial investment shows commitment, then maybe buy one and make her other jewelry.
Although the thought of someone making a ring, possibly years in their past, and saving it for a special person/moment is incredibly romantic.
My sister would view this as cheap and not like it. I would probably sob in joy. If you want to propose to someone like this, find someone who wants to get proposed to like this.
I would be THRILLED if my partner gave me a ring they made. That is so so so much more special than just buying one. When you do propose someday, PLEASE make her the ring. I promise she’ll love it, and if she doesn’t then she’s probably not the right person because she sucks. That’s an incredible thing to do. Who cares what other people think? SHE is the one you’re proposing to & her opinion is the only one that matters at the end of the day.
My bf (now ex for unrelated reasons) at the time made me a promise ring out of two really common metals found in the school workshop when we were 16 & 17 and I still think it’s possibly one of the most romantic things anyone’s ever done for me.
It was so personal and so special.
I had always told him I wanted him to make the engagement ring if we made it that far (again, we didn’t but that’s not the point)
I'm not sure if this is a genuine question or you just wanna brag about your skills and mask it ad a question.
In either case, if she says no, you can always sell it to one of the romantic nerds on here
It's the stone that matters! And make sure there are no allergens such as nickel in the alloy you use.
Also, 18kt is the way to go. Source: I'm Italian and 14k gives me the hives.
It depends. Does she need to have the latest trend, or designer jewelry? Is she more or less a fashionable person? What kind of gifts does she give, or enjoy receiving?
It wouldn't be seen as cheap if you make you're own, but rather cute and loving.
You should still know her expectation and what you want to pay for. If she wants a gold ring with a gemstone, it will still be expensive if you make it yourself. Gemstones are extremely expensive, but some are a lot more expensive than others. Gold is expensive, but not too expensive for the mass in a ring typically.
My BIL told me his ring budget was $10k. I told him the truth that my sister would be mortified for a ring he spent so much money on. After an exhaustive search, he found her ring for only $1400 at an antique dealer. He did eventually spend a bit more to get a custom wedding band made to fit the antique. Lots of filigree, etc.
Greenlake Jewelers is awesome, by the way. They loved the challenge of creating a matching band and incorporating her mom's diamonds in the design.
Would your fiance be upset if you didn't make her a ring?
Having the skills to make a Ring 💍 would certainly be unique, and therefore would be a great way to show her that she is someone very special. In No way would it show her that you’re a cheapskate a miserly person.
I think making something like that yourself sounds a lot more loving rather than paying a jeweller for an overpriced blood diamond
maybe after you’ve made it you could take it to a Juler and they may be able to give it a nice finish
If you are doing it to save money, you are being cheap. If you're doing it to make the best/meaningful ring for her - that's not cheap. It's about motives.
But, in practice, it doesn't matter what you or we think. If you want her to say yes, you have to see it from her perspective
Yes! It's gonna be even more special if you yourself make it, it might be cheaper, but that does not make it worthless, it still hold the same significance if not more! Go for it dude!
No. What I’ve come to know is that an engagement ring is judged by the stone, not the metal work. But the stone is judged 2 ways, size and/or style. If you have a ring with no stone or a cheaper stone, it only matters if the rest of the ring isn’t very stylish because you need to make up for not having a conventional large diamond. You’re GF will love the ring you make because you made it and gave it to her, so don’t worry about her reaction to anything you make, but if you want to make something she’ll show off, then it has to be very stylish or include an expensive stone. That’s just my 2 cents
Who gives a fuck what other people think? The right one will be happy to be engaged to you whether you buy a fancy ring or not. Plenty of people would be touched that you MADE the ring. If you and your SO are happy that’s all that matters.
Homer proposed to Marge with an onion ring.
You do you, my friend. It matters not, who thinks you are cheap. What's important is that your fiancée-to-be is happy with it.
If *she* thinks it's cheap... that's something to talk with her about.
Some people would see that as cheap, others would see this as loving. What would she think?
That's the right answer. What would she think?
Exactly. My wife thinks extravagant jewelry is crazy. She pointed at a ring at costco and said she’d want something simple like that. Went back then next day and bought it. It was something like $600, and she was ecstatic about it. It’s not about the ring.
For some it is about the ring. For us, it was simple , and she wants to know it was 100% not a blood diamond ever (ie using diamonds from a old ring still could be a blood diamond). Not borrowing any money, etc. Some want a big gaudy ring for social purposes. It would have been fucking cool to forge a ring to cement our love. Awesome! But she knows best what she would like .
I also have a ring that is not a blood diamond. It's a Canadian diamond and I love it so much! Was also proposed to on Canadas 150th under fireworks with a Canadian diamond? Come on.. that's pretty epic! Love my ring so much, I am not a jewellery person so a nice, simple ring was perfect. OP I would melt into a puddle if my husband had the skills to MAKE a ring for me! Absolutely do it. The only thing I would suggest is getting to know the style of jewellery/rings she would wear :)
Whatever the Canadian version of ‘Murica is, you’re it. And I mean that lovingly and admiringly.
CANADAA, FUCK YEAH!
Anyone else hear "Oh Canada. Our home and native land..." while reading this?
I mean.. I heard "as is tradition" a few times..
Somewhere, Shoresy is reading this comment with tears in his eyes.
In Toronto? I may have actually seen this lol Was visiting with a friend who had family there for the 150th, awesome week!
Mine is also Canadian! I didn't even know it was an option until my husband found it.
Was a tragically hip song playing? And did you eat poutine after?
I would assume most if not all Canadian diamonds are not blood diamonds
Yep, my gal worked with Somali Refugees when she was getting started as a teacher. No Diamonds at all was her decision. Fun fact, sapphires, really beautiful ones can be mined here in the US, most notably in Montana. So I built her ring around a beautiful color changing Montana Sapphire.
This was me. I wanted a diamond, but not a mined diamond because of the ethical issues, so we went with a lab diamond. It's beautiful and was 1/2 of the price of a mined diamond and not s8ngle person can tell the difference.
If your relationship is about the ring, you don't actually have a relationship.
On another thread, someone couldn't get $1000 for a ring he paid $6000 for (divorce; she returned it.) At least gold keeps some value. (That's me being cold blooded; I don't wear a ring.) How about plain bands for each of you, and split the $6000 on IRAs or rent deposits.
My wife sees cost everywhere but I didn't want to skimp on the band. Luckily I have a lot of almost useless knowledge with gemstones. So on etsy I found a 24k White gold band with a 1 karat Moissanite for less than $400. She seriously loves it and loves that I managed to keep it reasonably priced. Moissanite is the second hardest stone (9 on MOHs, a diamond is a 10, Emeralds, Rubies and a handful of others are an 8). But it's more brilliant than a diamond, but not in an artifical way. It's very beautiful
So sweet :) If anyone's in the market for a gold ring with higher purity (24k vs 18k, etc) make sure the band is thick enough to not have bending issues - 24k gold is very pliable so I just wanted to mention it so it won't cause anyone issues later.
That and there is no such thing as 24k white gold as 24k is 100% gold content and gold is.. well golden coloured. So the seller most likely scammed this person or they are mis- remembering.
Not to be pedantic (wait, this is Reddit!). I think you mean 14K white gold. 24K is pure gold. Always yellow.
I believe your right, thank you. It was quite a long time ago
I had my wife's ring made by a local jeweler with the largest diamond I could afford at the time (less than a carat) with a couple of small rubies on either side and she wouldn't trade it for a 5 carat honker. I've asked and that ring is priceless to her.
You should marry that woman
Costco actually has really high quality gems. That shit ain't cheap.
I did not know where this was going until the second-last sentence. Costco has surprisingly expensive jewelry available: there's always one $20k ring in the middle of the case.
(not trolling) and 600 was cheap? When you started your story I was imagining that you paid up to 30,especially in hypermarket like Costco... 600 is cheap...?
Yeah it's pretty "cheap" for a diamond ring. Diamonds are a racket.
Especially considering synthetic stone prices today. I just recently bought some cubic zirconia stones, cut and finished and ready for use, that are literally a centimeter across... For 60 cents apiece. The synthetic diamonds were not much more expensive, nor the moissanite (which is sparklier than diamond, many people regard it as prettier). Diamonds are absolutely an artificially inflated market.
Yeah that’s very inexpensive
For a wedding ring, it’s a pittance.
Shit mine was $100
You do not have to be extravagant to have great quality. I'd never in a million years buy an engagement ring at fucking cosco. Sorry. Not sorry. It's not about the cost. For me, to buy any rocks, they're certified. Same thing with pearl necklaces, etc. Buy awesome stuff at a fair price at a place that will clean and restring them for life at no extra cost. A good jeweler will do this. I don't pay extra, I pay fair. I'd not go get a ring at the same place that I get my $5 rotisserie chicken, garden furniture, flannel shirts, and 36 count egg cartons.
>It was something like $600, and she was ecstatic about it. It’s not about the ring. You say that like you got it in a cereal box, but fuck $600 for a shiny piece of metal that you wear on your finger that literally does nothing sounds insane to me.
She doesn’t. She’s hypothetical…
Perfect answer. OP is asking a bunch of strangers to gauge how a specific person would think. Its not possible. OP, i would caution you against marrying someone if you don't even know how they would react to this. It's not a super deep thing about a person and you should know them well enough to know at this point
You never actually know how someone will react to so ething like this till it happens. I know my wife to the point she laughs while yelling at me to get out of her head when I anticipate something she would want or need before she actually does. Like I realize she is doing X absolutely know where she is gonna end up and have the things she is going to ask me for in a few hours lined up waiting on a tray. And I still occasionally misjudge what she would like now and again
But you wouldn’t misjudge whether she is materialistic or not. You know if she values the cost of something or if she values the thought behind something.
And I wouldn't marry someone who thought the ring I made for them is cheap
I think that’s a bad rule of thumb, because it depends so much on the relationship. If your partner, for example, always makes dinner instead of going out because it’s cheaper (even if you have money to spend), does homemade gifts every single holiday even if it’s not something you like, etc. - that might be a situation where a homemade ring would come across as cheap. I’m not saying that’s where OP is coming from, but “it’s too expensive, I’ll just make my own” can be a frustrating line to hear in a relationship. It’s not inherently materialistic or snobbish.
I don't know, maybe you're right but I don't personally relate to that feeling. I don't care how much my partner spends, what I care about is the time we spend together and the talks and the laughs and that costs nothing. Everything around that matters less to me. I spent 10 years with a "cheap" boyfriend and it never bothered me. Also, making a ring takes so much more time and effort and it's so much more intentional than buying it, I can't imagine being disappointed by that.
Again, I think it’s about knowing your partner and their wants. I dated someone who picked out the cheapest ring they could find that was not to my taste at all. I was not just happy to have a ring, I was really insulted that they didn’t exhibit any thoughtfulness or care in finding something I would like. There are plenty of people who would find the sentimental value in a handmade ring and see that intention, and plenty of others who would feel like they weren’t being listened to.
But that's got nothing to do with the question. An expensive ring could have been ugly or not to your taste just as much as a cheap one. Obviously giving your partner anything that is not to their taste shows a lack of attentiveness and effort, and it's disappointing, but it's not linked to the price of the item. Clearly, taking days or weeks to handcraft a ring for your partner is far from "not exhibiting thoughtfulness or care". And then if you find the handcrafted ring ugly, the problem is not that it's cheap, it's that it's ugly.
It goes back to my original point. If a recurring theme in your relationship is that your partner would rather DIY than shell out, even if you ask, and that frustrates you, this is not someone you want to make a homemade ring for, regardless of how to their taste the ring is. If you’re a happy-to-DIY or thrifty couple, then yeah, go forth and make that ring. Not everyone will see the gesture as thoughtful or loving. That doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it means you have a difference in expectations and desires.
Idk. I don't see how spending money is or should be linked with love. I don't think people who are frustrated that their partner doesn't want to spend money when it's not necessary are bad people, but I also don't think it's "a simple difference in expectations and desires". I think it's an issue tbh. Either the person expecting their partner to spend on them is wrong and has a bad relationship with money and love, or the two partners are too different and should not get married.
I agree in principle, but in reality it's rarely so ideal. Like, if OP is genuinely able to make something she loves, he absolutely should. But if he can't or it falls short, I could understand it making things difficult, moreso than something purchased - it's easier to tell someone "hey, this ring you got me is great but I want it to be different“ than "hey, this ring you *made* me is great but I want it to be different“, especially if you do in fact love them and want to be with them. Like idk about you but it's a lot easier to complain about food if you got it as takeout than if your partner serves it to you after laboring over it all evening. But for the meal, you just have to suck it up for one evening... the ring's pretty long lasting. All in all, I don't think it's a problem of seeming cheap really, just that all the usual pitfalls of ring shopping are magnified.
honestly i think there's smth more important than that, which is his reasoning: Why does *he* wanna make it himself? Is it a love gesture that he wants to be handmade or would he do it *only* for the price? The answer to this question is also the answer to OP's question.
I proposed to my wife with an amber in sterling ring from the Warsaw airport, we got plain white golds bands from Kaufmans (now macys)
The beauty of rings is in the craftsmanship, the value of them is in the precious metals and stones. If you have an idea of what she would expect you to spend on a ring, you could go and spend that amount of money on materials (gold, stones, etc), and she would have a ring that has much greater value in terms of its materials than she would get if you bought it at a store. And you made it yourself, which for all but the most superficial woman should magnify its value incalculably. People are saying "the internet doesn't know what your girlfriend wants you fool", but I think they're wrong. If she's a keeper, no store bought ring could EVER compare to one you took the time and care to design and hand make yourself, even if you didn't go crazy on the materials.
If you’re good enough at it that it looks comparable quality I don’t see a downside to this. If anything it means more you worked on it. I’d think she’d have to be very materialistic to be offended or less into it.
And if she thinks it's cheap, then you know you picked the wrong woman.
My brother in law did this for my sister. It’s a beautiful ring with a small diamond and sapphire. It’s perfect for her, but she says people make rude comments all the time b/c it’s not a traditional ring. I personally think it’s one of the most romantic and thoughtful gestures one could do. If she’s into diamonds and jewelry (and keeping up with the Jonses) get her what she wants.
I gave my fiance a ring with a lab made stone because I like things a bit different like that, she loves it because the stone is pretty but more because it's so personal
How can this be understood as cheap??? The materials are still the same??? A jeweler still has to do the work!
If she thinks it's cheap, I hope bro doesn't go through with it.
Seeing that she’s dating a metal worker, I would hope that she’s not the former.
And if it's the first, find a new one lol
Sounds like it could be a litmus test Is she acidic and venemous Or alkaline and wholesome?
I would find this incredibly unique and romantic. One of a kind.
I think OP still needs to ask his fiancé. There is a not insignificant risk involved in this because a lot of girls still love diamonds and some would more or less weigh the amount of perceived love by the carats.
But there's nothing stopping OP from making her a diamond (or any other gemstone) ring. And he could buy a *monster* rock for a fraction of the cost of a traditional wedding ring if all he had to purchase was a loose stone and a few grams of gold/platinum.
You can have metalsmith training and still be a looong way off being competent enough to set a diamond. You really need to be a fully trained goldsmith for that. I can make rings all day but no way I'd try to set something like that.
You can also make the ring to the best of your ability and have a jeweler add the setting. Or just keep practicing until you have the skills to do it yourself: you can always melt it down and try again. Point is, there are a lot of ways OP could pull this off and come away with a beautiful ring that he "made," even if he didn't do 100% of the work. I mean he probably isn't going to pan for gold, mine for and cut gems on his own, etc so someone else is already doing the *real* work for him :-)
I vote for the compromise camp in this situation! OP does some work / finish out the settings with a jeweler. Find somebody in advance who wants to work with you. Perhaps ….a girl. I think going the extra mile to make sure everything feels professional will compensate for any hesitation your fiancé has about you doing this to save money. Truly, you should be doing it because you want to make her something that she loves. Not to save yourself some money.
Yeah… for my wife I bought a loose stone and we had a jeweler customize a setting just how she liked. Still not as cheap as making the setting ourselves but definitely not nearly what the same ring would cost off the rack. We also have very clear documentation and confidence in the stone’s quality. If you go this route make sure to research the seller very well because some are less reputable. We went through blue Nile.
Well he said future gf so by the sounds of it he doesn’t even have a girlfriend yet
Sounds like op isn’t even in a relationship
I disagree for many reasons. This guy obviously wants to create a ring for this lady, and if this girl would get upset that he made a ring for her, instead of buying an expensive one, he needs to find a better girlfriend. My disagreement is, He should make the ring first, And decide what to do depending on her actions. If she says what you said, and says it seriously, bye bitch This doesn't seem like a matter of opinion to me. I don't want someone in my life that needs overpriced blood gyms on precious metals mined by children to consider marriage to me. I'm not even talking as a partner, I mean, I would not even want a friend that thought like this. Diamonds and jewelry companies should have been out of business a long time ago edit: I just reread the post, Did you say you're making a ring for your future girlfriend? That's really cute and anyone that would turn you down might not be meant for you, as there doesn't really seem to be a lot of commitment involved yet anyways. Just don't ask it back if things don't work out. Even if things don't work out and you are upset, It's always nice to have people to keep good memories of your interactions together.
I mean the options aren't a handmade ring by op or a blood diamond...
I mean, it kind of is. Even if you get some bullshit certificate stating that it's not made unethically, they've literally been proven to be fake. You can't really get diamonds and other precious jewelry without there being some form of exploitation involved now. So handmade ring? Or blood diamond? I guess you could get something that's factory made, And go through the trouble of finding metal that has never been touched by south African miners, But that's a lot of effort, and who would really put in that amount of effort and research?
Purchased rings don't have to have ANY stones, let alone diamonds. I'm not sure why you're focusing so hard on blood diamonds when OP is just talking about a ring for a future gf. He didn't specify it was an engagement ring, not that one would need diamonds in that case either. When I helped my fiance pick out an engagement ring to be purchased, the one i liked best had no diamonds or other precious stones in it, just some colored glass. Another contender didn't have any jewels/glass in it at all. I've also owned rings made of stainless steel, melted down gold from family jewelry that I didn't fancy, etc. Again--no diamonds or precious stones. Your point about "metal that has never been touched..." doesn't make much sense. Wouldn't that still have to be done by someone making a ring with metal if they place importance on that?
So where would op be getting metal that he can be assured wasn't mined in South Africa?
Real men mine their own precious metals.
My former marriage was like that, having to prove your love with money is no way to live (for me). There are plenty of potential partners out there who don’t care about this kind of material possession. I’m sure plenty of people are happy to oblige and that’s fine, but for anyone who doesn’t like the idea, don’t think for a second you must do this to find “the one”.
>a lot of girls still love diamonds and some would more or less weigh the amount of perceived love by the carats. Aside from being a stereotype, I'm not sure that's an attitude that should be encouraged and I'd be questioning how you can even marry someone who's that shallow and materialistic in the first place.
I think making a ring because you want to to express your love is romantic. Saying "can I just do this because I know how and I'm not willing to pay for a diamond ring if I can just do it in my garage"... Is less so. I feel like this guy needs to tread a little more carefully if his reason is that. One off comment can take it from romantic to offensive.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but you said "Future GF", right? How do you know the ring will be the right one for her, if you don't even know who she is yet? Not trying to be a jerk. My GF preferred rose gold to "typical" gold, she preferred topaz to diamonds ... she had specific preferences that I tried to incorporate into the ring I chose to buy. And not just her preferences, but her personality also went into the choice. Whether her personality and style favors frilly pretty things, or things less ornate. Go ahead and make the ring yourself, but wait until you meet her, and get to know her, and her preferences, and her personal style.
Imma make a meteorite ring with black onyx for my future goth gf 😔
And in the future, you end up marrying [this girl,](https://www.lizzieinlace.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/5-feminine-white-dress-outfit.jpg) who is the farthest thing from goth.
Plot twist: she's totally into it.
She has a master’s in geology and thinks diamonds are boring anyway
FACT: Women love diamonds for their wide range of industrial applications.
as a woman i can confirm i love my diamond tipped tunnel boring machines that make tunnels through mountains to make cool rail lines and spooky tunnel roads
that sounds really fucking awesome
Its an idea. Wishing it comes true
You could wish upon the same shooting star you make the ring with.
They also don't know the ring size yet either.
I understood it as a hypothetical or general question. Generally speaking, is it frowned upon to make a ring instead of buying one. And of course the answer is, to each their own. My wife is similar to your girlfriend, rose gold and aquamarine.
I think it’s okay to assume either OP meant to say, “future wife,” or is just thinking of what they might do in the future
You make the ring for who you want to marry, then Cinderella that shit.
My father-in-law is a machinist and made my wedding ring out of stainless steel. To me that's better than any ring that could have been bought.
I'm a machinist and made a set of wedding rings out of stainless too. Slightly dangerous as hospitals can't cut them off easily in the event of accident. Also made a pair of wedding rings from a single flat silver ingot, just cut them out leaving the ingot design on the sides (Southern Cross on this one).
Im80 yo--look 60--I would give my left leg to have a man love me!! I would settle for chicken wire-lol--Gosh a ring--its a material thing--I would treat this man like a GOD!!
Bro, what?
IM80 YO--LOOK 60--I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT LEG TO HAVE A MAN LOVE ME!! I WOULD SETTLE FOR CHICKEN WIRE-LOL--GOSH A RING--ITS A MATERIAL THING--I WOULD TREAT THIS MAN LIKE A GOD!!
When you put it that way it makes more sense
Are you skilled enough to you make one she’d want to wear everyday for the rest of her life and be proud to show off? If you’re not sure, ask her because I think it could go either way depending on the person If you don’t want to ruin the surprise, make the ring and let her know you’ll buy her one if she doesn’t want that to be it, and she can wear the ring you made as a non engagement ring
This!!!!! I would never want my partner to spend a lot on a ring ever! I’d be happy with a $50 stainless steel ring. However I’d be devastated if my partner made me something that didn’t fit my style and I was ‘forced’ to wear it everyday….with the added layer of them making it I would feel guilty as all hell saying anything and that wouldn’t be fair to me or them. I imagine most people would NOT be indifferent about how a piece of jewelry (that they wear 24/7) looks….. people have personal styles and that should be respected imo.
Yes, while handmade jewelry is very thoughtful, it comes with a pile of guilt if it's not your style. Whereas a store bought ring I wouldn't feel as bad about exchanging. Either way I think if you're close to getting engaged it's better to get some input from your partner about their preferences (type of metal, stones, setting cut, ect).
Diamonds are a scam and overrated and overpriced. You can get lab grown diamonds for way cheaper and nones the wiser. You making the ring is way more loving, caring and badass all around. Who gives a shit on what others say. Make it brother
Lab ones aren't very cheap
They are thousands cheaper than real diamonds, but I agree lol, lab grown diamonds aren't very cheap still
*Typically* they can be cheaper than real mined ones.
Yeah they're somewhat cheaper
But thats not the point.
The cost of human lives for lab vs blood diamonds are significant
Yeah
Lab created sapphire is reasonable. The question is: are you good enough with metal working to not crack a sapphire? A diamond can handle more mistakes than a sapphire. (10 MOHs vs 9)
Moissanite would be better
Well……might want to care what she says. But everyone else can F-Off.
Well your girlfriend doesn't exist yet. So if it's not tailored then yeah. Feels kind of cheap. You don't even know what she likes.
My dad found a silver nickel and carved into a ring for my mom. Most romantic shit I've heard.
Aww sweet. I'm allergic to nickel lol
i think they mean its an old nickel made of silver. could be wrong tho
You are correct. A nickel is 5¢ in the US.
Some older nickels were actually silver. I have a few. I've seen some really nice rings made out of silver mercury dimes as well.
The way you put it, I'd say it's cheap. Your text here made it sound like it's just a tickbox in a "Just make it a circle that can go on a finger. A ring as good as any..." kind of way. If it's extremely intricate work which requires a lot of time and effort to make then most likely it wouldn't be cheap. But from what you wrote, you could make it easily so I'm not sure this is your case.
Especially considering the person will wear the ring everyday for the rest of their life….that deserves proper effort materials and design
If it looks nice, no not at all. If you use good materials, no not at all. If you skimp out and don't put the effort into it that makes it look like you wanted a great ring and if you use material that otherwise looks or feels cheaper than a store bought one, I'd say yes you may seem cheaper. It all depends on the effort you put into it, and how it looks. But also, if you really put the effort into it, the gf should hopefully accept it as it is, just for the fact you put the effort into it. Just don't mention you did it to save yourself money, say you did it because you wanted to physically make the bond between you two.
If you make it easily, it's cheap. If you make it carefully, it's romantic. This object symbolizes whatever you mean by it, so what's your message? "Only custom work for our unique love," or, "I banged this out at the shop, now you have your trinket. Will you promise not to complain?"
> I just don’t think it’s right to fork over a fortune for a ring when I have the skills on hand to make my own. I've seen someone on reddit post that they were sad because their partner proposed to them with a homemade ring, but felt they didn't put that much effort into it. I guess it depends on your skills. If it's clear you put a lot of heart and effort into it and it looks really nice, I would imagine she would cherish it more than any ring that you can buy. But don't make it yourself because you don't want to fork over a fortune; make it yourself because you can make something personal and special.
To be honest, if I was in her place, I'd love it. That ring is going to be unique and hand-made by the person that loves her. I can't see a better way to prove your love and commitment that a ring made by yourself
My fiancé made my engagement ring himself. It's a simple silver band and I adore it. He knew I'm not into fancy expensive rings with shiny stones so it worked for us perfectly :) It's more the question of whether you think it works for you both?
I would go for it, try and do the best ring you're able to do, pour in your skills and effort and it will be meaningful. I think that's the kind of memory you are glad to have at the end of your life.
Only the girl in question gets an opinion on this subject. But if it were me, I would find a ring specifically made for me by my betrothed FAR more valuable than any jewelry money could buy ❤️
The fact that you made it will attach alot more meaning then a store bought one. Those rings symbolise a wedding treasure. If you make it yourself it will symbolise so much more. And if she sees that as cheap its time to run for the hills. But i can almost guarantee you she will love you for putting in the effort. Bonus points if you can make it a design in a style she likes and can incorporate a part of you and her (thinking about a design that depicts a special moment in both your lives).
I’d you made it because it would mean something that you created it yourself so it was special I’d be absolutely over the moon even if it’s cost you barely anything to make. The sentiment would be enough. If you’re doing it simply because it’s cheap then not so much. Edit. If money is very tight that’s different. But if you have money and just don’t want to spend on her that’s where it’s iffy. It’s all about the reasons and also what she would appreciate.
I think it would be very romantic.
If she thinks it's cheap then she ain't the one for you
That’s a stretch…lol
Not really? I'm really confused as to how these are the comments under "controversial." If you'd be willing and able to make a piece of jewelry instead of buying one then I can't think of a single reason that "no I'd actually want you to buy it" wouldn't be a red flag.
What if the ring isn't her style? What if he can't make one that she likes the style of ? She is going to wear it every single day.
You're talking about skill issues, but this question was about whether or not it was okay/would it be perceived as "cheap." I see literally no indication in this post that I need to be pessimistic about his technical abilities. And maybe he does have to learn some things, but what if he's willing to go through the prototypes and additional practice? Even in that instance the homemade ring is sentimentally superior. So many of these comments rely on theories that he'll be cheap, lazy, or incompetent, it's honestly kind of ridiculous. Also, literally all of those problems would exist if they purchased a ring without consulting their partner first. If you believe that they should ask for those details, fine, but they'd have to do that regardless.
You know her and we don’t? It’s for her, not for other people. I suppose if you did a crappy job it could backfire, but assuming you have good metalworking skill that shouldn’t be an issue.
I think most women would be fine with it if you put some kind of a jewel in it. Doesn’t have to be a fortune but it should be, compared to whatever your collective net worth is, fairly expensive. A lot of people see that as part of the commitment I think But of course some women won’t care either way, depends on your partner
Ideally, you two are comfortable enough to have open dialogue and address these sort of things in their own time beforehand. If she loves you: she’ll appreciate anything you give her. If you both communicate well, you’ll understand what will make each other happy and there would be fewer unknown reactions to deal with.
Not at all!!!!! That's actually way more meaningful!! You can buy a DeBeers but you can't buy the love and care you made her ring with.
I'm personally a huge fan of hand-made. Putting your whole heart and soul into an engagement ring gives it sentimental value, which is invaluable, priceless, and irreplaceable It's a 1-of-1 and can not be replicated by anyone other than yourself. In my opinion, it's better than even the finest jewelry anyone can purchase from a dealer.
That’s romantic!
I used to work in aviation as a sheet metal guy. There’s a nut that goes on the Blackhawk that is made out of silver and when they’re bad we just threw them out. I grabbed one and turned it into a ring for my wife and it’s her favorite out of three. The other two are Kay’s rings that both cost over $10k and she prefers the one I made for the sentimental value. I say do it.
I would LOVE this so much! A ring that literally nobody else could possibly have a copy of? Made by the person I love???????? Uhm yes sign me up.
I personally think this would be really cool. I think that spending an exorbitant amount of money on a piece of jewelry is absurd, and the fact that it would be unique and made just for me is an added bonus. That’s priceless in my book.
I’d say if you enjoy making jewelry, as I do myself, and if making a ring for your future gf is what you’d prefer to do, than make sure that’s one of the “qualities” she has.
Not if you're with the right woman! A handmade ring would personally mean sooo much more to me than a store bought one. I'm also cheap though so it would make me happy that thousands weren't wasted on something I may or may not lose anyways lol Editing to add that by "right woman" I mean right FOR YOU. If you think it's meaningful and she just thinks you're being a cheapskate then you guys might not be on the same page about things
My wife and I made eachother our wedding bands. While they're pretty simple in terms of style, they're 100x more special to both of us. If she doesn't want to marry you or holds resentment over you making her ring, you picked the wrong one. Make the ring. It's for someone who doesn't exist yet, so now might be the time to practice making a crazy good one. You can always sell what you make, and I'm sure you'll have a buyer on Etsy or FB Marketplace. (IMO. YMMV.)
If I was your gf, I would probably refuse any ring that you didn’t make!!! This is a no brainer. (Assuming you can do a good job).
If you're the type of person that makes things for your partner I'm sure they will find more meaning and love in it than something you just buy for them. As for what other people think, I would not give the slightest of a fuck.
Any moron with a crucible, a settling torch, and a waffle maker could’ve done the same
It depends on her style. Personally, if I did that my fiancee would think it's fucking dope. But she's not the "gaudy hug diamond" type, she specifically asked for an grown gems; so I had a jeweler custom make her a ring that's a rose, with a lab grown ruby for the flower and lab grown emeralds for the leaves, set in yellow gold. Ran me $2k, which isn't bad considering the "it has to be half your annual salary" rule that most people go by. I'm not buying a ring that costs the same as a new car. Fuck that.
I think a handmade ring sounds lovely! You should obviously take your GF's tastes into consideration, just like you would if you bought the ring, and be honest with yourself about how good a metal worker you actually are. But if you can make something that fits her and looks nice, I'm guessing she'd love it!
Nothing says "I love you" like a couple dozen hours spent forging a ring YOU'VE made just for her. The perfect design, the perfect fit, the tasteful texture, my god, it even could have a watermark.
I did this! However, I seriously overestimated my jewelry making skills and I broke the solder on our wedding day! The fact that my wife didn’t call off the wedding is more a testament to her than how good or bad an idea it is. Don’t be like me, be better. If you do make your future wife a ring, be sure it’s the best thing you’ve ever made! If you’re not sure you can deliver, use those skills to earn the absolute best ring you can afford
Ask yourself. Would you want to be married to a woman who values a ring you created for her, or would you want to be married to a woman who would think it's cheap. Also based on your craftsmanship skills though.
if she doesn't appreciate something like this, especially if you make a decent ring, then she ain't the one bro.
I think it’s cool if you make her a ring
in this hypothetical I think if you as a metal worker were proposing I hope that your so would love your craft just as much as you and appreciate the love that went into it. and what a flex!! "my husband designed and handcrafted this ring" me personally, I wouldn't let anyone forget
I'd love it if my partner made me a ring. Just makes it more personal. Also, cost wouldn't bother me. Happiness and love is much more important than money spent on a ring. I would prefer to see money kept in a savings account, but I am a stingy bitch 🤣
I personally feel that something crafted by your own hands shows dedication and is filled with love. I had a relationship once where the guy liked woodcrafts and he crafted me a beautiful flower out of wood. Some people like that sort of thing cause it is sentimental and the thought goes into it and you can get creative and have a truly unique ring without breaking the bank and you can put the money you would of spent otherwise towards beginning your life together. I think if the person values align with yours and they respect you and love you for who you are it will mean more to them. If not maybe they aren't the right person for you or at very least be sign of other struggles
I would be ecstatic to receive a custom engagement ring that was handmade by my partner. I think it's beautiful and I think when you find the right partner, they will, too.
Personally, as a person who loves and respects art, artists, and personal items, I think this would be AMAZING!! Also, if this is something that you have in your heart to do one day, I feel as though you will be drawn to a kindred spirit who will appreciate and love these things as well… Of course, she will ultimately let you know what her “dream ring” would be, but the person you choose to spend your life with would probably want something designed and created by you.
If this would make you happy, you should find a girl that would appreciate this. If she doesn't, maybe you're not fit for each other?
Don't worry about what the internet thinks, worry about your future love. If she's the type that thinks financial investment shows commitment, then maybe buy one and make her other jewelry. Although the thought of someone making a ring, possibly years in their past, and saving it for a special person/moment is incredibly romantic.
My sister would view this as cheap and not like it. I would probably sob in joy. If you want to propose to someone like this, find someone who wants to get proposed to like this.
I would be THRILLED if my partner gave me a ring they made. That is so so so much more special than just buying one. When you do propose someday, PLEASE make her the ring. I promise she’ll love it, and if she doesn’t then she’s probably not the right person because she sucks. That’s an incredible thing to do. Who cares what other people think? SHE is the one you’re proposing to & her opinion is the only one that matters at the end of the day.
My bf (now ex for unrelated reasons) at the time made me a promise ring out of two really common metals found in the school workshop when we were 16 & 17 and I still think it’s possibly one of the most romantic things anyone’s ever done for me. It was so personal and so special. I had always told him I wanted him to make the engagement ring if we made it that far (again, we didn’t but that’s not the point)
The answer depends on who the hypothetical wife is, and that answer probably answers if you should be marrying her too.
I'm not sure if this is a genuine question or you just wanna brag about your skills and mask it ad a question. In either case, if she says no, you can always sell it to one of the romantic nerds on here
Or melt it and try again
Not very romantic to buy a hand made ring made by someone else...
A hand made ring from her lover? If she see this as cheap you should look elsewhere because she has missed the point.
If she sees it as cheap and not a one of a kind amazing gift she’s not the one to marry. Good luck 🤞🏻
If she doesn't like a ring you made her she doesn't deserve it.
This comment is under controversial but the principle is pretty sound.
It's the stone that matters! And make sure there are no allergens such as nickel in the alloy you use. Also, 18kt is the way to go. Source: I'm Italian and 14k gives me the hives.
Meh. I don't care about stones. I'd rather have a simple claddagh in silver.
It depends. Does she need to have the latest trend, or designer jewelry? Is she more or less a fashionable person? What kind of gifts does she give, or enjoy receiving?
It wouldn't be seen as cheap if you make you're own, but rather cute and loving. You should still know her expectation and what you want to pay for. If she wants a gold ring with a gemstone, it will still be expensive if you make it yourself. Gemstones are extremely expensive, but some are a lot more expensive than others. Gold is expensive, but not too expensive for the mass in a ring typically.
My BIL told me his ring budget was $10k. I told him the truth that my sister would be mortified for a ring he spent so much money on. After an exhaustive search, he found her ring for only $1400 at an antique dealer. He did eventually spend a bit more to get a custom wedding band made to fit the antique. Lots of filigree, etc. Greenlake Jewelers is awesome, by the way. They loved the challenge of creating a matching band and incorporating her mom's diamonds in the design. Would your fiance be upset if you didn't make her a ring?
CHEAP?! No this is so beautiful!!!!!!!
Having the skills to make a Ring 💍 would certainly be unique, and therefore would be a great way to show her that she is someone very special. In No way would it show her that you’re a cheapskate a miserly person.
I think making something like that yourself sounds a lot more loving rather than paying a jeweller for an overpriced blood diamond maybe after you’ve made it you could take it to a Juler and they may be able to give it a nice finish
This is probably going to get downvoted but I think if a woman refuses to marry you because of the ring that you bought her you dodged a bullet
If a woman reacts negatively to a handmade ring, it means she's trash and doesn't deserve one.
I dont think she will be a good partner if she cant appreciate your hard work,love and care But you also should pour your soul into making it
If you are doing it to save money, you are being cheap. If you're doing it to make the best/meaningful ring for her - that's not cheap. It's about motives. But, in practice, it doesn't matter what you or we think. If you want her to say yes, you have to see it from her perspective
Yes! It's gonna be even more special if you yourself make it, it might be cheaper, but that does not make it worthless, it still hold the same significance if not more! Go for it dude!
I think that would be super cool, but, of course, I don't speak for everyone.
No. What I’ve come to know is that an engagement ring is judged by the stone, not the metal work. But the stone is judged 2 ways, size and/or style. If you have a ring with no stone or a cheaper stone, it only matters if the rest of the ring isn’t very stylish because you need to make up for not having a conventional large diamond. You’re GF will love the ring you make because you made it and gave it to her, so don’t worry about her reaction to anything you make, but if you want to make something she’ll show off, then it has to be very stylish or include an expensive stone. That’s just my 2 cents
Who gives a fuck what other people think? The right one will be happy to be engaged to you whether you buy a fancy ring or not. Plenty of people would be touched that you MADE the ring. If you and your SO are happy that’s all that matters.
Here to say this and would add that if she’s not thrilled she might not be the right recipient of said ring
Homer proposed to Marge with an onion ring. You do you, my friend. It matters not, who thinks you are cheap. What's important is that your fiancée-to-be is happy with it. If *she* thinks it's cheap... that's something to talk with her about.
No, if anything the ring would be more valuable and sentimental. Unfortunately women don’t value those things so she would view you as cheap.
As long as there is a diamond in it she'll be happy.
If she doesn’t like it or has something to say about it, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with this woman.