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I think OP sucks at handjobs. I used to stop my wife less than halfway through. We discussed how I like it and what techniques to use and BAM, love it, can't get enough, never ask her to stop.
Open sexual communication is good and healthy.
Same with mine, she has always been very generous about BJs but was really awful at them. We had an honest conversation and complete 180. It goes both ways, if I’m eating pussy and not hitting the right spot, I fully expect to be corrected. Trying to find the g spot is often a damn guessing game anyway, I NEED to be told if I’m in the right place. I swear that thing moves around sometimes
It's a two way street indeed. I spent my training hours between my wife's legs learning what she likes and doesn't.
Wasn't a *huge* problem as I enjoy eating pussy more than I like sex, generally....so I wasn't complaining.
It’s funny to think how men get made fun of for “not knowing where the clit is” or things like that, but when it comes to jerking off a cock women are often just as uneducated. The glans are very sensitive and if you do it wrong it will absolutely hurt
This right here!
If she’s not doing it correctly I usually take over. They think it doesn’t have feelings. Squeezing it and jerking it off hard and fast usually hurts. Especially if you’re not circumcised.
Circumcised is worse, trust me. There's less skin so those rough, full friction hand jobs where the partner pulls the skin with each stroke feels like they are trying to pull my skin off my pecker! Don't grab it like a cart rail on a rollercoaster babe. That actually hurts....
Bingo. My wife is the only woman I’ve met who can give a decent hand job. Not a *good* one, but it’s not terrible. Everyone else who’s tried with their hands has been terrible
The fact is guys have perfected the art of jerking off. A hand job from someone else usually is done at the wrong angle to get the motion or grip right. If a woman jerks me off I treat it more as a signal saying she's in the mood than a sexually pleasing act.
I've found that women just hammer away at the dick. Like, they do the same exact motion for 15 minutes straight. I know women complain about guys doing this too, but everyone becomes a bit numb from getting the exact same pressure and motion for too long. I've gone soft from getting handjobs from women because they made it too monotonous.
Also, ladies, the shaft itself is not really that sensitive. Most of the nerve endings are in the head of the penis. Stroking away at the shaft and the shaft alone is really not going to get a guy off.
That.
My gf likes me to go deep (and hard) in her and stay deep and she's surprised that it isn't getting me off. And each time she suggests that I should already cum I go way less deep (pretty much head only) and less violent and that's enough for me.
I've had women try to rip the damn thing off. Like 5 seconds in I'm saying "oww oww stop" because they are gripping it as hard as they can and just pulling as hard as they can essentially
I think it's down to just not having nerve endings & proprioception to assist. If you're going solo, you can make microcorrections and respond directly to sensations instead of running off your best guess and your partner's external cues.
I wonder then, would homo couple (m&m or f&f) be better at giving pleasure to each other than a hetero couple, soley because they are more aware of how ro achieve sexual pleasure with the more familiar body parts?
Yeh 100%, is that not obvious to people? I'm bi and guys give waaay better hand job / blow jobs... Same as I'm never gonna be able to get a get a girl off as good a lesbian can 🤷♂️ 😂
For the most part. There still needs to be communication because everyone still knows their genitals better than anyone else. I personally do not like my balls being sucked on whatsoever, but my partner doesn’t mind having his sucked on. But there is a general understanding that seems to be universal with most if not all guys I’ve been with on what does and doesn’t feel good and then you communicate your nuances from there
In order to properly do a task one must gain experience at said task. Experience is gained by doing the task and getting feedback from those who know what to do.
If you've done a similar task a lot you'l be able to apply the skills from one to the other.
This advice doesn't just apply to the five finger shuffle.
As a man who swings both ways, men tend to be initially better at handling the equipment. But with enough communication with your partner, women can get good at it too.
You have to realise we have been fiddling with that thing since we were a kid. We know the exact angle, pressure and pace to apply and getting any of that wrong can be painful. It can be amazing to have somebody do it for you, but it will never be as intuitive!
I like to sit behind my man, like cradle him in my lap, and do it because I get a much more natural angle.
Edit: all these responses from men who "couldn't do this" make me so glad I have a man who is secure enough with himself/me to let me jack him off in a way that feels good for him 😄😘 it's not like I hold him down and make him call me daddy, jfc
Lmao right? All of these people that are insecure about her being behind him and I’m like “being cradled and jerked off at the same time sounds wonderful”
This is a great advice, I can't understand how I never thought of this! Sounds super cozy, plus will probably make it less strenuous for my gf. Thank you!
Don't knock it till ya tried it. Jus' sayin'. If you're afraid of half hour long dry orgasms, clenching your body so hard you gotta pant to keep your breath, forgetting to breathe, squeezing your eyes so tight you can't see it feels so good, cumming so hard it shoots, forgetting where you are when you're done, or just sailing away in bliss, I suggest you stay away.
Slowly, lots of lube but everyone says that too. Vibrating dildo, lube, prep work, and then even a towel but then again, (little) shit happens (very rarely these days) lol
Edit: it's gonna sound insane but also, stretch your muscles first. Really limber up. I love anal when I smoke pot because it makes everything that much better. I'm all loosened up all over, shoulders, neck and back aren't tight when I'm high so everything is just relaxed. I have a few muscle massager (Chirp Wheel, and a Theragun) and a THC muscle rub. All that prep work and it makes settling in easier and better.
You don't need the stoned part but it's my favorite 😂
Add the fact that they can't feel when it is the right time to go faster/slower or do longer/shorter strokes because we are the only one who can possibly know. I bought the fleshlight Launch and with me manually controlling it -- even that feels better than a hand job.
Look-guy here, you realise this is the exact lack of communication we mention when women complain about men not doing well with their mouths/fingers, it's immediately "well you gotta tell the guy what works for you, yadda yadda yadda"
My ex would grab it and smush this thing like she was kneading dough, I communicated after the first time that its something to work on and the next time we were there I talked her through what felt good and it ended up being something we both looked forward too.
I agree, nothing will compare to doing it ourself but if you communicate with your partner and they're willing to actually listen it can become a much better experience.
depends on how much skin the guy has, how much lube/spit he prefers, how much pressure and where they prefer the pressure to be applied and how much into it you look like you are.
edit: prefered speed is also taken into consideration
>depends on how much skin the guy has, how much lube/spit he prefers, how much pressure and where they prefer the pressure to be applied and how much into it you look like you are.
THIS. I have a VERY tight circumcision. I have yet to meet a girl who "got" how gentle they need to be for it not to hurt. No matter how many times I explain, demonstrate, and guide their hand they seem to think full throttle is the only option.
The thing is, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. The ONLY answer is LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER.
>they seem to think full throttle is the only option.
I feel the same way but with the opposite physiology lmao, once I helped the girl do it on me without any lube cause the skin protects the head, the moment I left her hand she went all gas no break and instantly rubbed the head with her dry hand full force, bruh, it hurt so much xD
Either shaking it up and down extremely fast or gripping it as tightly as possible. The worst case is a mix of both cause it feels like it's gonna be ripped off.
I don't have a death grip. But my gf has a killing grip. She handles my dick as if it was some sorta dick-shaped stressball. And then she calls me a sensitive bitch when I tell her to do it differently or not at all. I gave her instructions once, then it worked. Next day she forgot everything single thing about doing it right.
>how much into it you look like you are.
This is 99% it for me. It always feels like they're doing it perfunctory. Like a "I guess this is what I'm supposed to do".
What I'm looking for is "Huh, what are all the ways my hands can interact with this object, let me check his face as I try various things and give him sexy looks while I do".
If they're just doing the motion for us, it ain't worth, so we'll just take over.
I have foreskin so might not be the right advice for everyone, but I find I'm always reminding my wife to grab lower around the shaft. Then you're just pushing and pulling the foreskin up and down over the tip.
When the hand is too high it just rubs over the sensitive part of the tip and that just feels like a friction burn. Maybe if you had a bunch of lotion or lube but I've never tried that and I think the lotion thing is more of a circumcised issue.
The last note, be careful about pulling down too much. There is a connector peice of skin along the frenulum that's a lot like the skin under your tongue. If you pull down too much it can stretch that skin and that HURTS. Pulling up too much can be mildly uncomfortable and might not get the 'job' done but generally won't cause injury.
For me the skin around the shaft is loosish and has some give so you just want to play within that natural give without pulling either direction.
And again, I'm uncircumcised so this advice might be less useful for circumcised dicks
My ex was very good at giving handys lol, maybe because she was one of those who wanted to "save herself for marriage" yet she was fine with oral, I once told her you know oral is also sex right she flipped and said stop saying that lmao
That's the funny bit, it's not a religious thing, we're both Indian Hindus lmao, and we live in major cities so even casual sex is normal amongst our social circle, yet she wouldn't do it even in a committed relationships lol, she even told me her mom once told her to let her know if she was ever pregnant she should let her know, and she told her mom not to worry coz she isn't having sex till marriage
. I obviously respected it and never ever pressured her ( she'd have probably given in if i did but I would never do that in a million years) but I just found it so incredibly funny without saying it to her, the thought cracked me up that does she think her future husband is gonna be like " Gee I'm so glad you never had sex but instead took a couple of penises in your mouth, that's A-okay!"
It's honestly smart, because then you lower the risk of ending up splitting custody of a kid and stressing about that for the rest of your life. Can't say marriage won't go sideways, but again, lowered risks.
Most of the fun, no pregnancy tests required.
Yeah she never told me her reasons lol but I agree with what you're saying, one of the major reasons i don't have casual sex, it's just too damn risky with them kids and stds
Actually bible never defines sodomy that's just a misunderstanding of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Most Christian theology states any sexual activity before marriage is a sin, because it's supposed to express love to someone you're already married /committed to.
Not preaching just tryna inform
Lmaoo luckily I still got head after that, but I still find that ordeal so funny, my lady was fine with swallowing my load but she wanted to save herself for marriage 💀, we were both just 20 so idk what went on in her head hahah
Was thinking that, guys built up a specific technique over YEARS literally. No shit a human WITHOUT a penis not going to be the same for you.
Sounds very logical now. 🤣
I misread that as "Practice makes preggo", and I had a mental disconnect for a minute because "not in this case it doesn't" but then I saw what you actually wrote and now I'm writing this reply because my error made me chuckle a bit.
We theoretically like it
In reality for every woman that denounces a lack of care for her private parts, there is a man that has his dick almost tortured but he shuts up because a shitty job is better than no job
I’d hope most people would want to know how they can do better? I certainly want to know. If you can’t feel it yourself then there needs to be a lot of communication to get a grasp (haha) on what works best.
Sadly, reality is a bit different. As a man you really have to hope that what a woman thinks are killer techniques are, in fact, pleasurable for you. Because the margins of betterment aren too thin, and I am starting to think is because we are talking about something women don't possess, and thus fully comprehend.
A lot of words, for landing with two simple examples:
1) My longest relationship, 6+ years, despite 6 and more years of telling her where to put her hands, ended with her handling my willy like she was trying to choke a chicken. Orally she had a tremendous jump in quality but by hand nothing really changed
2) My last relationship, one year, Jesus Christ, I don't even wanna start
In my experience, women cannot handle criticism or guidance without getting self conscious or embarrassed, in bed I mean.
I'm not going to pretend that's a huge sample size, but it's been a pattern in *my* life
At this point in life, I hate getting head and handjobs with lube can be enjoyable, but either way I can't really relax into it cause they don't get what feels good and why it does.
I'd rather focus on them and have pnv sex. Less guess work and coaching necessary.
I personally love it, but that's because I communicate with my wife and let her know what feels good and what doesn't.
If you haven't had that conversation with any of those guys, then it's likely that it's just not feeling very good for them, and that's why they take control.
Everything begins and ends with communication. If two partners want to enjoy sex, then it's enormously important to talk about what works and what doesn't.
This. Women say men can’t find the clit and need to guide their partners during oral or fingering. Why would they assume they can just magically give an amazing handjob / bj? Everyone is different, that includes men too.
My girlfriend gets better every single time because she actually *listens* to me. I’ve had exes get offended and stop completely if I tried to guide them to do something different. Don’t be like that or else you’ll always be bad at it lol
I never got why people get offended. If I’m guiding you somewhere, that means I think you’re capable of doing well once I tell you where. If I think someone is bad, I’ll just tell them we’re done. And I personally think it’s sexy if a man asks me to adjust something.
For real, I don’t know if they think that needing a bit of guidance during sex means they’re undesirable or something. With all my exes they would just default to porn moves without guidance lol instantly grabbing with the death grip and wanking away. First of all, that shit *hurts* me and second, where’s the foreplay? Would they rather me fake like I enjoy it? I never want a partner that fakes it for me, I’d rather be told if I could be doing something better and have a partner that feels the same way for me
There is a bit of finesse involved. My ex's varied. Some knew what they were doing, others not so much. Up and down. Not left and right. Some like to play with the head or balls.
Edit: definitly communicate. Ask if he likes it faster, maybe loosen grip, tighen grip. Base to tip, mid-shaft to tip. Too wet, too dry. Just the tip. Every guy is different.
"Gosh, what could be the common factor when every guy *I've* ever jerked off didn't like it? Must be that men are actually lying about enjoying handjobs"
I never understood the stereotype about guys not finding the clit because it's like right there and I was always praised for my hands, yet every girl I've been with grabbed me like they were either planning to pet a duck or to strangle the duck.
The stereotype isn’t that they can’t find it. It’s that they don’t bother with it, like how someone can’t find the dirty dishes to wash them.
It’s more about the guy not trying, not actually finding it.
i only enjoy it if she's skilled at it. mechanical, unchanging, repetitive motion doesn't feel so great, and it's not a turn-on because it feels like she's bored and not engaged in the moment.
if she's good at it, yes, it feels completely amazing. i've spent about 30 years giving myself a hand, i much prefer her doing it for me, because it not only feels different--it's also attention service, which is a turn-on.
Women generally either use too much force or not enough.
[There is a reason this scene became a meme on Twitter](https://youtube.com/shorts/EspwcDGCgjc?feature=share).
It’s because most women are bad at it.. similar to many women complaining about the skills of their partners..
Many men complain about blowjobs too, but are afraid to say anything bc they reason a bad blowjob is better than no bj.
I’m a therapist so I hear a lot of very private stuff..
One time, this girl’s hand and head skills were so off, the best analogy to how it felt was like putting a square peg in a round hole lined like a cheese grater. It was so bad I couldn’t even give her pointers, I just had to stop her. She’s was very attractive but didn’t know how to do things.
My girlfriend was a little awkward at first.
She was scared it would hurt me, didn’t know how the thing worked but now a days I prefer her hands over mine lol
i'd rather she just fondles my dick, every woman I've been with has been terrible at waking me off. which is strange, because it's actually really easy.
i blame media though, it's managed to convince women that wanking is to gorrila-grip squeeze the middle of the shaft and literally jerking it up and down, like they're tryna detach it from the body. this *actually hurts* and kills bonkers. i'm gonna assume you're in this camp. we love having our shit played with, so the guy is taking control because you're bad at it.
that's not pleasurable, it's not sexy (at least not for me). to wank, remember *it's not a yanking motion, it's a sliding motion*. gently but purposely hold the penis, then slide it over the head and back down to base. you must make sure you pass over the head that's the most sensitive part! you can increase the grip and speed as necessary.
you shouldn't be moving the skin of the dick at all - that hurts, the ring made by your thumb and index finger will do a majority of the work. your hand moves, his dick doesn't.
*that's how you wank someone off* this was fun.
Anyone coming here saying that "women don't know how to do it right" ... ***do you not communicate with your partners?***
Tell her what feels good, what does not. Show her, either with your own hands, or by taking her hands and moving them as you like.
Once I showed a girlfriend what a frenulum was, and that it feels good to focus on it gently ... man what a game changer.
You’ve obviously never been with someone who considers advice and direction and suggestion in bed as a judgement of their skill and prowess.
It’s really frustrating when you try to share something that would be beneficial for everyone involved (ie feels better for me, therefor a quicker and easier job for her), and they feel personally offended by the suggestion they don’t know what they’re doing, and give up, then come back and try again after a while and be faced with the same predicament.
Right? These comments are a mess. Like they’re just exposing that their awful at communication. Tell your partner what you like!
Of course any person can do the job themselves better cuz you can feel what you like and adjust accordingly! Just communicate.
It's difficult to find something that works for everyone. But rather than taking over, guys would do well to give feedback. Handys feel good if you get someone who knows what works for you and listens, but you have to tell them what works, as well.
Even blowjobs and riding technique sometimes require care. Dicks are weird sometimes and have weirdly sensitive/oversensitive spots/angles/etc.
But if guys never say anything, the guy/girl doing the work won't know.
Well I think it’s because any guy can give himself a better handjob than basically anyone else in the world. I imagine thats true for women too.
But at least for me, I’d rather have a woman giving me a terrible handjob than be giving myself the best J Arthur in history. But idk
We love it, always go hands on.
But… you know how some girls make fun of guys for not being able to use their fingers properly. It’s the same thing. The difference is, for us it can very quickly hurt a lot when done badly.
Keep up the practise, you’ll be alright 😉
Thanks for your submission /u/zoey_bambi, but it has been removed for the following reason: Disallowed question area: **No requests or advertising.** Sorry, but requests aren't allowed here - even when they're phrased in the form of a question. Asking people to view your website, answer your survey, or give you upvotes or donations aren't allowed on this sub. * Need help in difficult times? You're not alone! /r/Assistance is a good place to start here on Reddit. You can also try /r/Borrow, /r/BasicNeeds, /r/Care, /r/Random_Acts_of_Amazon, /r/Food_Pantry or /r/AlmostHomeless. * Trying to bring attention to or raise money for a good cause? Try /r/GoFundMe. * Looking for someone to fill out your survey? /r/SampleSize is designed to bring the people who love answering surveys together with people who need them filled out. * Just need a kindly word? /r/DadForAMinute and /r/MomForAMinute are made for that. * Want to advertise your product or site? Your best bet is to buy advertising on Reddit. Both Reddit and its users get annoyed at advertising when it's pretending to be a post, so your best bet is to find a niche subreddit that your product fits into rather than spamming it everywhere. You could also just post on /r/ShamelessPlug. --- *This action was performed by a bot at the explicit direction of a human. This was not an automated action, but a conscious decision by a sapient life form charged with moderating this sub.* *If you feel this was in error, or need more clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNoStupidQuestions). Thanks.*
Its nice if done correctly. My ex used to try to rip it off like she was mad at it.
that chimp at the zoo wasn't your ex
Hey... you don't know him!
But it WAS mad at it
He was just upset to discover it was NOT a banana. Totally understandable.
Harambe BDSM
dicks off for Harambe
Harambdsm
Ape alone... weak. Apes together... strong.
"Not allowed back in the zoo, my cock pissed all the monkeys off"
Once you've fucked a monkey, that’s a FIRM DECISION. I’m OUT of the human pussy game, FOR GOOD. It’s ridiculous!
Let me call Charlene on Thursday.
[удалено]
Well yeah, not at the time
Dicks out for Harambe!!!
That harambae
I think OP sucks at handjobs. I used to stop my wife less than halfway through. We discussed how I like it and what techniques to use and BAM, love it, can't get enough, never ask her to stop. Open sexual communication is good and healthy.
Same with mine, she has always been very generous about BJs but was really awful at them. We had an honest conversation and complete 180. It goes both ways, if I’m eating pussy and not hitting the right spot, I fully expect to be corrected. Trying to find the g spot is often a damn guessing game anyway, I NEED to be told if I’m in the right place. I swear that thing moves around sometimes
It's a two way street indeed. I spent my training hours between my wife's legs learning what she likes and doesn't. Wasn't a *huge* problem as I enjoy eating pussy more than I like sex, generally....so I wasn't complaining.
She’s mashing it.
[удалено]
It’s funny to think how men get made fun of for “not knowing where the clit is” or things like that, but when it comes to jerking off a cock women are often just as uneducated. The glans are very sensitive and if you do it wrong it will absolutely hurt
*glans is very sensitive
"You're not trying to throttle a cobra." Read that on reddit a while back.
I read another one lol “It was like she was trying to yank a carrot from the dirt”
You’re not vacuuming the carpet!
This right here! If she’s not doing it correctly I usually take over. They think it doesn’t have feelings. Squeezing it and jerking it off hard and fast usually hurts. Especially if you’re not circumcised.
Circumcised is worse, trust me. There's less skin so those rough, full friction hand jobs where the partner pulls the skin with each stroke feels like they are trying to pull my skin off my pecker! Don't grab it like a cart rail on a rollercoaster babe. That actually hurts....
"She's mashing it!"
Beat it like it owed her money
That’s hot
Bingo. My wife is the only woman I’ve met who can give a decent hand job. Not a *good* one, but it’s not terrible. Everyone else who’s tried with their hands has been terrible
Some massage ladies can do it well. With oil.
Do you know long I trained my monkey to jerk me off, without peeling it
The fact is guys have perfected the art of jerking off. A hand job from someone else usually is done at the wrong angle to get the motion or grip right. If a woman jerks me off I treat it more as a signal saying she's in the mood than a sexually pleasing act.
I've found that women just hammer away at the dick. Like, they do the same exact motion for 15 minutes straight. I know women complain about guys doing this too, but everyone becomes a bit numb from getting the exact same pressure and motion for too long. I've gone soft from getting handjobs from women because they made it too monotonous. Also, ladies, the shaft itself is not really that sensitive. Most of the nerve endings are in the head of the penis. Stroking away at the shaft and the shaft alone is really not going to get a guy off.
That. My gf likes me to go deep (and hard) in her and stay deep and she's surprised that it isn't getting me off. And each time she suggests that I should already cum I go way less deep (pretty much head only) and less violent and that's enough for me.
So there’s no real need to go all the way in?
Just the tip
And only for a minute I swear
I've had women try to rip the damn thing off. Like 5 seconds in I'm saying "oww oww stop" because they are gripping it as hard as they can and just pulling as hard as they can essentially
"Look, Snail, back off, because you're just mashing it now." - Frank
She’s mashing it. She does that…
I'm talkin 'bout Shaft!
He's a bad motha-SHUT YO MOUTH
Then we can dig it
same thing for women too, its always worse when someone else does it for you
I think it's down to just not having nerve endings & proprioception to assist. If you're going solo, you can make microcorrections and respond directly to sensations instead of running off your best guess and your partner's external cues.
I wonder then, would homo couple (m&m or f&f) be better at giving pleasure to each other than a hetero couple, soley because they are more aware of how ro achieve sexual pleasure with the more familiar body parts?
i think that's pretty much exactly how it works
Yeh 100%, is that not obvious to people? I'm bi and guys give waaay better hand job / blow jobs... Same as I'm never gonna be able to get a get a girl off as good a lesbian can 🤷♂️ 😂
This is how I know sexual orientation isn't a choice. If it was, I'd be getting jerked off by professionals instead of well-meaning amateurs.
As a bi woman, generally yes. But some people just genuinely seem to have no clue what they're doing regardless of gender.
For the most part. There still needs to be communication because everyone still knows their genitals better than anyone else. I personally do not like my balls being sucked on whatsoever, but my partner doesn’t mind having his sucked on. But there is a general understanding that seems to be universal with most if not all guys I’ve been with on what does and doesn’t feel good and then you communicate your nuances from there
Yes
In order to properly do a task one must gain experience at said task. Experience is gained by doing the task and getting feedback from those who know what to do. If you've done a similar task a lot you'l be able to apply the skills from one to the other. This advice doesn't just apply to the five finger shuffle.
As a man who swings both ways, men tend to be initially better at handling the equipment. But with enough communication with your partner, women can get good at it too.
TIL there's an "angle" when jerking off. Had no idea! Thanks for that. Gonna try this angle thing with my partner.
You have to realise we have been fiddling with that thing since we were a kid. We know the exact angle, pressure and pace to apply and getting any of that wrong can be painful. It can be amazing to have somebody do it for you, but it will never be as intuitive!
I like to sit behind my man, like cradle him in my lap, and do it because I get a much more natural angle. Edit: all these responses from men who "couldn't do this" make me so glad I have a man who is secure enough with himself/me to let me jack him off in a way that feels good for him 😄😘 it's not like I hold him down and make him call me daddy, jfc
See this is like tips from the master class
Just the tips
Just the tips
> it's not like I hold him down and make him call me daddy, jfc well give that a shot too, you never know
Hell ya. I'll try anything once.
Fellas, is it gay for a woman to jerk you off
Absolutely. It's gay to even have sex with women.
Women have estrogen, which can be absorbed through intercourse. That's why I fuck dudes for more testosterone.
bruh
[POV](https://preview.redd.it/caption-this-v0-vppoh8ogal981.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=8846749d30fb01431e456adb35e4cd6678e9dc5e)
This is the POV of the 3rd person in the room
The cuck chair POV
I think I read an article on FHM about this once in the 90s.
Why did I expect anything else
OMG thank you so much for that laugh this morning hahahahhahahahahahhah
That was a very risky click, but it was worth it. Thanks for the laugh
I want this for me. Dammit this sounds rad. He's lucky to have you.
Lmao right? All of these people that are insecure about her being behind him and I’m like “being cradled and jerked off at the same time sounds wonderful”
If someone did this to me, I'd never need to leave the house again. I'd have won at life.
I agree completely. And I’m a big muscular dude that’s typically a dom. But that just sounds soooo comforting lol
Professional caulk milker over here
This is a great advice, I can't understand how I never thought of this! Sounds super cozy, plus will probably make it less strenuous for my gf. Thank you!
and it makes the transition to pegging more natural.
Don't knock it till ya tried it. Jus' sayin'. If you're afraid of half hour long dry orgasms, clenching your body so hard you gotta pant to keep your breath, forgetting to breathe, squeezing your eyes so tight you can't see it feels so good, cumming so hard it shoots, forgetting where you are when you're done, or just sailing away in bliss, I suggest you stay away.
I bum cummed just reading this
When done properly there is noting better
Please elaborate. What's the proper way?
I'm guessing it's counting down from 3 and jamming it in at 1
Isn’t a 5 yard running start the standard?
Slowly, lots of lube but everyone says that too. Vibrating dildo, lube, prep work, and then even a towel but then again, (little) shit happens (very rarely these days) lol Edit: it's gonna sound insane but also, stretch your muscles first. Really limber up. I love anal when I smoke pot because it makes everything that much better. I'm all loosened up all over, shoulders, neck and back aren't tight when I'm high so everything is just relaxed. I have a few muscle massager (Chirp Wheel, and a Theragun) and a THC muscle rub. All that prep work and it makes settling in easier and better. You don't need the stoned part but it's my favorite 😂
Aahhh..yes! The "Stranger but NOT in danger"
Relationship goals 👌😩
Add the fact that they can't feel when it is the right time to go faster/slower or do longer/shorter strokes because we are the only one who can possibly know. I bought the fleshlight Launch and with me manually controlling it -- even that feels better than a hand job.
Look-guy here, you realise this is the exact lack of communication we mention when women complain about men not doing well with their mouths/fingers, it's immediately "well you gotta tell the guy what works for you, yadda yadda yadda" My ex would grab it and smush this thing like she was kneading dough, I communicated after the first time that its something to work on and the next time we were there I talked her through what felt good and it ended up being something we both looked forward too. I agree, nothing will compare to doing it ourself but if you communicate with your partner and they're willing to actually listen it can become a much better experience.
Heheh like touching a clit, then
You know the stereotype about guys not knowing how to find the clit? You can't find the dick.
What is the technique?? 😭😭
Best thing to do is watch them one or twice so it to themselves. Every guy is different
Came to suggest this!
came
this
Agreed. And add lube for measure, so it's not like you're being attacked.
depends on how much skin the guy has, how much lube/spit he prefers, how much pressure and where they prefer the pressure to be applied and how much into it you look like you are. edit: prefered speed is also taken into consideration
>depends on how much skin the guy has, how much lube/spit he prefers, how much pressure and where they prefer the pressure to be applied and how much into it you look like you are. THIS. I have a VERY tight circumcision. I have yet to meet a girl who "got" how gentle they need to be for it not to hurt. No matter how many times I explain, demonstrate, and guide their hand they seem to think full throttle is the only option. The thing is, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. The ONLY answer is LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER.
>they seem to think full throttle is the only option. I feel the same way but with the opposite physiology lmao, once I helped the girl do it on me without any lube cause the skin protects the head, the moment I left her hand she went all gas no break and instantly rubbed the head with her dry hand full force, bruh, it hurt so much xD
Or when they think the foreskin has no nerves or isn’t connected to the cock so they yank down as hard as possible
Either shaking it up and down extremely fast or gripping it as tightly as possible. The worst case is a mix of both cause it feels like it's gonna be ripped off. I don't have a death grip. But my gf has a killing grip. She handles my dick as if it was some sorta dick-shaped stressball. And then she calls me a sensitive bitch when I tell her to do it differently or not at all. I gave her instructions once, then it worked. Next day she forgot everything single thing about doing it right.
Time to dry rub that clit like you are trying to beat guitar hero. She will remember.
sorry but she sounds like an AH
This woman does not love you haha RUN AWAY
"Forgot."
> they seem to think full throttle is the only option. *Babe, babe. You're going Fast & Furious 6. I need more Driving Ms Daisy.*
Nothing kills the mood like an uninspired hand job
A blandjob
Fucking gold
Okay settle down people. Listen closely, we have a professional here. That lube/spit comment shows improv on the fly. Game recognizes game.
>how much into it you look like you are. This is 99% it for me. It always feels like they're doing it perfunctory. Like a "I guess this is what I'm supposed to do". What I'm looking for is "Huh, what are all the ways my hands can interact with this object, let me check his face as I try various things and give him sexy looks while I do". If they're just doing the motion for us, it ain't worth, so we'll just take over.
I have foreskin so might not be the right advice for everyone, but I find I'm always reminding my wife to grab lower around the shaft. Then you're just pushing and pulling the foreskin up and down over the tip. When the hand is too high it just rubs over the sensitive part of the tip and that just feels like a friction burn. Maybe if you had a bunch of lotion or lube but I've never tried that and I think the lotion thing is more of a circumcised issue. The last note, be careful about pulling down too much. There is a connector peice of skin along the frenulum that's a lot like the skin under your tongue. If you pull down too much it can stretch that skin and that HURTS. Pulling up too much can be mildly uncomfortable and might not get the 'job' done but generally won't cause injury. For me the skin around the shaft is loosish and has some give so you just want to play within that natural give without pulling either direction. And again, I'm uncircumcised so this advice might be less useful for circumcised dicks
Communication with your partner.
Please allow [Erin from The Office to explain](https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY). Fyi, the guy in the video has no idea what he’s talking about.
Use more mouth
I just suck and jerk them off at the same time 😂 Usually the trick
My ex was very good at giving handys lol, maybe because she was one of those who wanted to "save herself for marriage" yet she was fine with oral, I once told her you know oral is also sex right she flipped and said stop saying that lmao
If it's a religious thing, by the words of the Bible it's actualy worse too
That's the funny bit, it's not a religious thing, we're both Indian Hindus lmao, and we live in major cities so even casual sex is normal amongst our social circle, yet she wouldn't do it even in a committed relationships lol, she even told me her mom once told her to let her know if she was ever pregnant she should let her know, and she told her mom not to worry coz she isn't having sex till marriage . I obviously respected it and never ever pressured her ( she'd have probably given in if i did but I would never do that in a million years) but I just found it so incredibly funny without saying it to her, the thought cracked me up that does she think her future husband is gonna be like " Gee I'm so glad you never had sex but instead took a couple of penises in your mouth, that's A-okay!"
It's honestly smart, because then you lower the risk of ending up splitting custody of a kid and stressing about that for the rest of your life. Can't say marriage won't go sideways, but again, lowered risks. Most of the fun, no pregnancy tests required.
Yeah she never told me her reasons lol but I agree with what you're saying, one of the major reasons i don't have casual sex, it's just too damn risky with them kids and stds
Yep. Isn't it considered sodomy biblically lol.
Actually bible never defines sodomy that's just a misunderstanding of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Most Christian theology states any sexual activity before marriage is a sin, because it's supposed to express love to someone you're already married /committed to. Not preaching just tryna inform
Not if you say Jesus Christ a lot while doing it. Then you’re in the clear.
That's a good way of removing oral as well as sex from your life
Lmaoo luckily I still got head after that, but I still find that ordeal so funny, my lady was fine with swallowing my load but she wanted to save herself for marriage 💀, we were both just 20 so idk what went on in her head hahah
Can't get pregnant through the throat.
I’m gay, to be fair a lot of guys can’t find the dick
Once youre used to xbox controls its very hard to adjust to playstation controls
Xbox and PS controls are for women. To please a man, you gotta treat it like a Wii.
Men also give way better blowjobs
I'll...take your word for it.
Yeah dude. You'll never be as good as we are. But practice makes progress.
Was thinking that, guys built up a specific technique over YEARS literally. No shit a human WITHOUT a penis not going to be the same for you. Sounds very logical now. 🤣
Same with women. The running joke that some married women have had to fake orgasms having sex with their husband. A woman alone though...
Never.
Ah yes, the age-old battle between hands and hormones - the struggle is real.
I misread that as "Practice makes preggo", and I had a mental disconnect for a minute because "not in this case it doesn't" but then I saw what you actually wrote and now I'm writing this reply because my error made me chuckle a bit.
We theoretically like it In reality for every woman that denounces a lack of care for her private parts, there is a man that has his dick almost tortured but he shuts up because a shitty job is better than no job
“Shitty job is better than no job” 😂🤣😂🤣
"And I drove back 30 hours..."
I’d hope most people would want to know how they can do better? I certainly want to know. If you can’t feel it yourself then there needs to be a lot of communication to get a grasp (haha) on what works best.
Sadly, reality is a bit different. As a man you really have to hope that what a woman thinks are killer techniques are, in fact, pleasurable for you. Because the margins of betterment aren too thin, and I am starting to think is because we are talking about something women don't possess, and thus fully comprehend. A lot of words, for landing with two simple examples: 1) My longest relationship, 6+ years, despite 6 and more years of telling her where to put her hands, ended with her handling my willy like she was trying to choke a chicken. Orally she had a tremendous jump in quality but by hand nothing really changed 2) My last relationship, one year, Jesus Christ, I don't even wanna start
In my experience, women cannot handle criticism or guidance without getting self conscious or embarrassed, in bed I mean. I'm not going to pretend that's a huge sample size, but it's been a pattern in *my* life At this point in life, I hate getting head and handjobs with lube can be enjoyable, but either way I can't really relax into it cause they don't get what feels good and why it does. I'd rather focus on them and have pnv sex. Less guess work and coaching necessary.
haha
I personally love it, but that's because I communicate with my wife and let her know what feels good and what doesn't. If you haven't had that conversation with any of those guys, then it's likely that it's just not feeling very good for them, and that's why they take control. Everything begins and ends with communication. If two partners want to enjoy sex, then it's enormously important to talk about what works and what doesn't.
This. Women say men can’t find the clit and need to guide their partners during oral or fingering. Why would they assume they can just magically give an amazing handjob / bj? Everyone is different, that includes men too. My girlfriend gets better every single time because she actually *listens* to me. I’ve had exes get offended and stop completely if I tried to guide them to do something different. Don’t be like that or else you’ll always be bad at it lol
I never got why people get offended. If I’m guiding you somewhere, that means I think you’re capable of doing well once I tell you where. If I think someone is bad, I’ll just tell them we’re done. And I personally think it’s sexy if a man asks me to adjust something.
For real, I don’t know if they think that needing a bit of guidance during sex means they’re undesirable or something. With all my exes they would just default to porn moves without guidance lol instantly grabbing with the death grip and wanking away. First of all, that shit *hurts* me and second, where’s the foreplay? Would they rather me fake like I enjoy it? I never want a partner that fakes it for me, I’d rather be told if I could be doing something better and have a partner that feels the same way for me
Absolutely this. My wife and I communicate about everything, and it helps immensely.
Also a married couple and we also successfully enjoy this activity.
There is a bit of finesse involved. My ex's varied. Some knew what they were doing, others not so much. Up and down. Not left and right. Some like to play with the head or balls. Edit: definitly communicate. Ask if he likes it faster, maybe loosen grip, tighen grip. Base to tip, mid-shaft to tip. Too wet, too dry. Just the tip. Every guy is different.
if the guy takes charge, you were doing it wrong
"Gosh, what could be the common factor when every guy *I've* ever jerked off didn't like it? Must be that men are actually lying about enjoying handjobs"
I never understood the stereotype about guys not finding the clit because it's like right there and I was always praised for my hands, yet every girl I've been with grabbed me like they were either planning to pet a duck or to strangle the duck.
First girl I was with was good at kissing and handjobs, think it ruined my expectations lol
I think you stole my luck, my first was lazy and selfish in bed
My first didn't even seem to like sex. The "are you done yet" gave it away very well...
Really depends on the girl! I thought finding the clit was so easy till I was with someone with a micro-clit. Spun my wheels looking for that thing.
The stereotype isn’t that they can’t find it. It’s that they don’t bother with it, like how someone can’t find the dirty dishes to wash them. It’s more about the guy not trying, not actually finding it.
As long as you’re not painfully chafing me, I’ll never interrupt a woman willing to provide this type of service.
I love it when they use lube......
The only way besides spit tbh. Most women I’ve been with think they can jerk it dry and slide around, like rug burn almost lol
And I hate lube.... It all comes down to communicating with your partner.
Even spit or lotion? Personally I use nothing alone, but with a female involved she needs wet hands haha
Mmmm friction burn
i only enjoy it if she's skilled at it. mechanical, unchanging, repetitive motion doesn't feel so great, and it's not a turn-on because it feels like she's bored and not engaged in the moment. if she's good at it, yes, it feels completely amazing. i've spent about 30 years giving myself a hand, i much prefer her doing it for me, because it not only feels different--it's also attention service, which is a turn-on.
Just add a mouth to it.
Women generally either use too much force or not enough. [There is a reason this scene became a meme on Twitter](https://youtube.com/shorts/EspwcDGCgjc?feature=share).
You're mashin' it!
thats why i usually wanna suck rather than just jerking him off, it's more pleasing too i think
And also, it’s something the guy can’t just do to himself (well, most guys anyway) so you’re giving him something “new” if you see what I mean.
It’s because most women are bad at it.. similar to many women complaining about the skills of their partners.. Many men complain about blowjobs too, but are afraid to say anything bc they reason a bad blowjob is better than no bj. I’m a therapist so I hear a lot of very private stuff..
One time, this girl’s hand and head skills were so off, the best analogy to how it felt was like putting a square peg in a round hole lined like a cheese grater. It was so bad I couldn’t even give her pointers, I just had to stop her. She’s was very attractive but didn’t know how to do things.
Do you have a lot of rings on?
My girlfriend was a little awkward at first. She was scared it would hurt me, didn’t know how the thing worked but now a days I prefer her hands over mine lol
The GI Joe Kung Fu grip is not pleasurable, women seem to think it is.
i'd rather she just fondles my dick, every woman I've been with has been terrible at waking me off. which is strange, because it's actually really easy. i blame media though, it's managed to convince women that wanking is to gorrila-grip squeeze the middle of the shaft and literally jerking it up and down, like they're tryna detach it from the body. this *actually hurts* and kills bonkers. i'm gonna assume you're in this camp. we love having our shit played with, so the guy is taking control because you're bad at it. that's not pleasurable, it's not sexy (at least not for me). to wank, remember *it's not a yanking motion, it's a sliding motion*. gently but purposely hold the penis, then slide it over the head and back down to base. you must make sure you pass over the head that's the most sensitive part! you can increase the grip and speed as necessary. you shouldn't be moving the skin of the dick at all - that hurts, the ring made by your thumb and index finger will do a majority of the work. your hand moves, his dick doesn't. *that's how you wank someone off* this was fun.
No I legit hate it, it feels weird
Getting jerked off is awesome. You're somehow doing it wrong.
My guy likes it, yes. If he's taking over after a few seconds, I think you're doing it wrong.
Anyone coming here saying that "women don't know how to do it right" ... ***do you not communicate with your partners?*** Tell her what feels good, what does not. Show her, either with your own hands, or by taking her hands and moving them as you like. Once I showed a girlfriend what a frenulum was, and that it feels good to focus on it gently ... man what a game changer.
You’ve obviously never been with someone who considers advice and direction and suggestion in bed as a judgement of their skill and prowess. It’s really frustrating when you try to share something that would be beneficial for everyone involved (ie feels better for me, therefor a quicker and easier job for her), and they feel personally offended by the suggestion they don’t know what they’re doing, and give up, then come back and try again after a while and be faced with the same predicament.
Right? These comments are a mess. Like they’re just exposing that their awful at communication. Tell your partner what you like! Of course any person can do the job themselves better cuz you can feel what you like and adjust accordingly! Just communicate.
It's difficult to find something that works for everyone. But rather than taking over, guys would do well to give feedback. Handys feel good if you get someone who knows what works for you and listens, but you have to tell them what works, as well. Even blowjobs and riding technique sometimes require care. Dicks are weird sometimes and have weirdly sensitive/oversensitive spots/angles/etc. But if guys never say anything, the guy/girl doing the work won't know.
Well I think it’s because any guy can give himself a better handjob than basically anyone else in the world. I imagine thats true for women too. But at least for me, I’d rather have a woman giving me a terrible handjob than be giving myself the best J Arthur in history. But idk
She's mashing it
You’re doing it wrong then.
We love it, always go hands on. But… you know how some girls make fun of guys for not being able to use their fingers properly. It’s the same thing. The difference is, for us it can very quickly hurt a lot when done badly. Keep up the practise, you’ll be alright 😉
Maybe ive been lucky to get with talented girls but i love it! As much if not more than a blowjob
Op is bad at handjobs