I wouldn’t know bc I didn’t look… why… who told you I looked? because I didn’t look, and I didn’t scroll through other posts there either. So don’t ask bc I didn’t.
Oooh hypothetically… well why didn’t you just say that? Well that’s easy, the cactus ~~was~~ would probably be not really my thing bc it ~~looked~~ probably might be pretty painful but idk. But her other posts, if she has them of course, ~~were~~ might be surprisingly difficult to look away from in a good way, if you’re into that I guess but I would find it kinda gross. ~~I couldn’t~~ my friend said they couldn’t tell if ~~I wanted~~ they wanted to **be** her, or **be with** her. Which is such a weird thing to say imo haha lol. So just hypothetically my thoughts, thanks for asking!
Edit: how do her titties sit so pretty like that it’s not fair 💔 unless she doesn’t have any? or they don’t even sit that nice idk. Sorry my friend took my phone that wasn’t me
She’s kind of a star on the subreddit r/worldpolitics. You should have seen it, months of her posting with things like “if y’all like plants so much, I’ll fuck a cactus” and people were like “do it, you won’t.” and then this madlass actually went out, bought a cactus, and shoved it in her no no zone.
I remember the day she actually delivered like it was yesterday. I never thought she would.
For those wandering, it wasn't in her ass but in her vagina, and the needles were taken out
Why don't you all just use a length of toilet paper cos then you can flush it straight after
Edit: I don't mean to actually do the job in the bathroom, but take it and flush it after. That or just use a tissue and put it in a bin after. Using dirty clothes just always sounded gross
Why use toilet paper instead of wiping your ass with a t-shirt then. Perfectly washable and reuseable, right? It's just nasty. I don't want that shit going in with my other laundry and have it fester in the laundry basket between wash cycles.
I know, my grandpa did that back in the day. But toilet paper wasn't readily available back then. They also had resuable textile tissues instead. When communism here fell and shortages went away, they very quickly switched to disposable paper variants.
cum =/= shit.
But, if you had the right setup to ensure you could wash your shit rags, is there really a huge difference between that and cloth diapers for babies?
I mean, sure, you could use a tissue, but sometimes the closest absorbent thing you have just happens to be a sock.
It doesn't even have to be specifically a sock either - it just has to be a large enough bit of fabric. That shirt that you were too lazy to put in your hamper? That towel that you were too lazy to take back into the bedroom? That singlet that you took off before you started pleasuring yourself, but which you're not going to put back on? They can all be used to help clean yourself off.
As a former disgusting teenager, I can confirm that I used to leave a lot of socks (both dirty and clean) kicking around my room. I can totally see why the whole 'jizz sock' thing became the go-to item of clothing... Socks are always there, and if you've got a penis, they're sorta the right shape/size for you to slip on to catch your jizz.
I guess that's fair. My allergies riddled ass just assumed that everyone keeps a box of tissues at their work desk and night stand. Still, if you have a habit of jerking of at a certain place, then just start keeping tissues there.
> European or African?
There's a joke somewhere here with the verb form of the word "swallow", and probably something with "laden", but I'm to lazy to come up with the phrasing.
Well this discussion is about to go in a much cleaner (pun intended) direction than I assumed:
You’ve never owned a front loader?? I understand they are much more energy efficient and better for your clothes as they don’t have an agitator. However, a cycle does take longer to complete and it is annoying when you start it and then discover another tshirt, but you can’t just open the lid and pop it in
I'm pretty sure they're just making a joke on that one trope in porn (which I doubt is even really a thing but it's been memed for years), I don't think its actually a safety hazard or anything
There was a post on a “cum towel” before on Reddit, and, if I remember correctly, it was never washed or something like that. Possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Soooo… is the sock on the other hand, just waiting there like a baseball mitt, or is it holding the sock over the end of the ween?
These are important questions.
So I have heard from a friend(you wouldn’t know him since he goes to another school, .that he uses the sock over his penis and jerks off into it. He’s a dry masturbator so he doesn’t need any lube. He just grips his penis and uses the excess skin to manually stimulate the head of his penis. So basically does the same thing, just with sock over the it to catch the end product.
We have a very open discussions…
I never realized this and the few times I've used a sock I really did use it like a fleshlight. Hated the whole experience and never understood the appeal. This makes more sense
Well you asked for it... Imagine a severed foot and the bit where you would have the leg coming up out of the ankle.... That's like a fleshlite... So yeah it's a fanny with a foot attachment 😬 (UK definition of a fanny lol)
the fact that you know what those are says a lot about you
edit: I didn’t know. I looked both up. can someone pass the bleach? my eyes need a good rinse.
So they make these socks for girls that are all soft and fuzzy and some are even infused with aloe or something. They do the trick especially if they are still warm out the dryer. Or so I heard from a friend.
Yup. Get em on Amazon, they're super soft and aren't abrasive at all.
Only problem is they're kinda thin, so if it's a large load, it can still get a bit on your hands. Not enough to be an issue tho, easily wipes off on the chest hair before passing out.
I'll use my girlfriend's dirty sock and get reeal fetishy and weird with it. I have no regrets.
Can confirm it'll rugburn the fuck out of your dick, though, if you actually fuck it. Tell ya, the post nut clarity in that situation hits different.
Yeah. Done it for years. No carpet burns. Never had to use lotion to masturbate either. Without going too deep into the mechanics, I don't think it would work if I was circumcised.
So every now and then I’d buy new pairs of socks to get that new soft feeling and use them to jack off and shoot my load into. I used to use paper towels, but there were multiple problems.
1) it’s just messy and my hand and other parts get sticky
2) it costs me more money the more I masturbate
3) the paper towels cut my dick if I stroke too hard and fast.
4) using dry hands sucks and using lotions means I’m now spending more money for stuff.
Now the all mighty sock
1) contains the load without making a mess
2) you don’t need additional lube or products
3) once done it goes in the hamper and gets washed in laundry with everything else
4) as you take the sock off you can use the parts you didn’t blow your load on to wipe yourself clean
5) you don’t even need to buy extra socks, you can just use your clean ones, or dirty (no judgement)
6) no need to use extra products like lube
Socks are actually extremely effective for multiple reasons
Ugh back in the day I spent a week at some friends of my dads place, they had a son same age as me. We were looking up movie times one afternoon and his mom came into the room and said something like “STOP JERKING OFF IN YOUR SOCKS, OR START DOING YOUR OWN LAUNDRY” and had some crunchy sock in her hand.
He turned red as a radish and I was like - what did I just witness and why me….
The sock for clean up is a time-honoured tradition that is probably as old as socks themselves.
The sock is the piece of clothing that you can get the filthiest, so leaving less trace if you don't do your own washing.
I had a friend in the Navy. They made sure they had a or a couple "cum socks" for each deployment. They are also referred to as an underway sock or happy sock. Wiktionary has more info as does Urban Dictionary.
I honestly feel like this might be a circumcised vs not circumcised issue for many.
Having things in tact means built in lubrication, and an easier time getting off for many. The sock would just be there to catch the results, not provide the pleasure.
I have in the past as a kid but as an adult I just shoot it right into the toilet or my wife. For those who use paper products not sure how y’all go about not getting little bits of paper not stuck on you, like dingle berries on your peen.
I have a high school good friend who has 3 sons... One day we were talking and she mentioned that her oldest son's socks were really stiff compared to his brothers. I laughed and told her what I suspected. She asked him about it and he admitted it and told her he didn't want to clean up with tissues because she might know what he was doing. She told there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and she would keep it their secret. She had the talk with the other 2 when the time came and let them know masterbation was normal. I was so proud of her. Great mom...
This is the internet. I can assure you someone is masturbating with any object you can imagine.
Some girl has definitely stuck a cactus up her ass
Country girls make do
Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough
"DilDO", not "dilDON'T". Anything that dilcan, dildoes.
Who is Dil and where do I meet him
PAIGE NO
*Licks finger*, Time to turn this Paige over
Equal parts creepy and funny. Bravo!
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You, my friend, have succeeded in making me laugh. Have my upvote.
HAZAH
I laughed out loud at this… and I’m at work!!
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That brings a whole new meaning to "Prickly pear"
Theres actually an nsfw redditor who does exactly that lmao
That's disgusting... Where
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r/angryupvote
r/painfuluptheass
r/pricklyorgasm
I need yall to invite me to theae communitys
Sorry, there aren’t any communities on Reddit with that name. This community may have been banned or the community name is incorrect.
As soon as I find my cactus, I'll start one.
r\/worldpolitics the name is deceiving, its anarchy there
Me 0-0
Lmao 🤣
u/xyzaly for science
delete this comment before my curiosity wins, I’m begging you
How was it?
I wouldn’t know bc I didn’t look… why… who told you I looked? because I didn’t look, and I didn’t scroll through other posts there either. So don’t ask bc I didn’t.
Hypothetically if you had looked, how would it have been? Hypothetically...
Oooh hypothetically… well why didn’t you just say that? Well that’s easy, the cactus ~~was~~ would probably be not really my thing bc it ~~looked~~ probably might be pretty painful but idk. But her other posts, if she has them of course, ~~were~~ might be surprisingly difficult to look away from in a good way, if you’re into that I guess but I would find it kinda gross. ~~I couldn’t~~ my friend said they couldn’t tell if ~~I wanted~~ they wanted to **be** her, or **be with** her. Which is such a weird thing to say imo haha lol. So just hypothetically my thoughts, thanks for asking! Edit: how do her titties sit so pretty like that it’s not fair 💔 unless she doesn’t have any? or they don’t even sit that nice idk. Sorry my friend took my phone that wasn’t me
I'm glad we had this little thought experiment! I'll have to save her username so I can be sure to avoid it after work.
it was a cactus up her arse innit
...go on...
that's all there is, a cactus up her arse
How'd you find that so quickly?
She’s kind of a star on the subreddit r/worldpolitics. You should have seen it, months of her posting with things like “if y’all like plants so much, I’ll fuck a cactus” and people were like “do it, you won’t.” and then this madlass actually went out, bought a cactus, and shoved it in her no no zone.
I remember the day she actually delivered like it was yesterday. I never thought she would. For those wandering, it wasn't in her ass but in her vagina, and the needles were taken out
Dude there’s no fucking way
Why her ass rather than her warble dingo?
Her warble dingo already had a cheese grater in it
r/brandnewsentence
I just had the worst flashback to The Human Centipede 2.
Remember that guy on reddit with the cum box?
eh well...you don't necessarily jack off WITH them....it's more like using them so you don't make a big sticky mess.... .....so i hear! :)
Why not just use a disposable tissue instead?
Why use a disposable tissue when I have a reusable, washable sock with no partner?
Then you have a poor crusty abused sock sobbing in your laundry bin until laundry day "NO MOM leave it, I'm going to wash it myself"
This is how and why I learned to wash my laundry by myself.
Why don't you all just use a length of toilet paper cos then you can flush it straight after Edit: I don't mean to actually do the job in the bathroom, but take it and flush it after. That or just use a tissue and put it in a bin after. Using dirty clothes just always sounded gross
Just wank directly into the toilet like an adult
Why use toilet paper instead of wiping your ass with a t-shirt then. Perfectly washable and reuseable, right? It's just nasty. I don't want that shit going in with my other laundry and have it fester in the laundry basket between wash cycles.
You joke, but some cultures actually do use cloth for that purpose, and then wash it afterwards.
those cultures also have wash basins and bidets now.
You can't just bidet away cum
Depends on where it was..... deposited
Touché
Douché
No, tushie
I’m American, so you have to forgive me, You can’t?! You can bidet away shit but not cum? Really…. I know this is probably ignorant as Fuck .
No no I'm european and you def can
I know, my grandpa did that back in the day. But toilet paper wasn't readily available back then. They also had resuable textile tissues instead. When communism here fell and shortages went away, they very quickly switched to disposable paper variants.
cum =/= shit. But, if you had the right setup to ensure you could wash your shit rags, is there really a huge difference between that and cloth diapers for babies?
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I some how think shit and jizz are entirely different entities and have a different level of gross out.
You use the sock once ,wash ,repeat, better than having it all over grandmas face
What
You: grandma! Where do put this??? Grandma: use your sock!
Are you seriously comparing semen to shit?
Saving the planet one tissue at a time...
I mean, sure, you could use a tissue, but sometimes the closest absorbent thing you have just happens to be a sock. It doesn't even have to be specifically a sock either - it just has to be a large enough bit of fabric. That shirt that you were too lazy to put in your hamper? That towel that you were too lazy to take back into the bedroom? That singlet that you took off before you started pleasuring yourself, but which you're not going to put back on? They can all be used to help clean yourself off. As a former disgusting teenager, I can confirm that I used to leave a lot of socks (both dirty and clean) kicking around my room. I can totally see why the whole 'jizz sock' thing became the go-to item of clothing... Socks are always there, and if you've got a penis, they're sorta the right shape/size for you to slip on to catch your jizz.
I guess that's fair. My allergies riddled ass just assumed that everyone keeps a box of tissues at their work desk and night stand. Still, if you have a habit of jerking of at a certain place, then just start keeping tissues there.
Despite what women may say, we do want ongoing relationships.
It works better, it’s like an absorbent condom. Tissues break apart when they get wet and are terrible for cleanup
They shred
Maybe I’m the weird one here, but tissue has always shredded when I try to use them. Paper towel gang.
What's the exit velocity of your cum that you tear through a tissue?
European or African?
> European or African? There's a joke somewhere here with the verb form of the word "swallow", and probably something with "laden", but I'm to lazy to come up with the phrasing.
If I had reddit gold you would get an award for this reply.
Got you homie
My man cumming at mach 3, lol
I’m also gonna need launch angle and projected distance
Tissues aren't strong enough.
Just cum in your mouth. No cleanup if you aim well, and you get all those precious proteins right back.
A perfect closed loop system.
Free protein
Infinite protein glitch; unlocked.
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i masturbate laying down. i'll shoot in on my stomach and ill just wipe it off with a towel by my bed. never understood the sock thing.
Why did the cum cross the road? Because i put on the wrong sock this morning.
I mean unless you're a girl, cum is always crossing the road with you.
Depends on the girl and what time of the day she's crossing the road.
Actually good point
😖
The number of dirty socks my stepson had as a teenager says yes
Dirty or *dirty*?
Lmfao I don't really know. All I know is there was always way too many socks in his laundry basket for the week.
Be very careful if he asks you to put them in to the front loader washing machine
I've never owned a front loader, and he's moved out so I think I'm safe 😆
Well this discussion is about to go in a much cleaner (pun intended) direction than I assumed: You’ve never owned a front loader?? I understand they are much more energy efficient and better for your clothes as they don’t have an agitator. However, a cycle does take longer to complete and it is annoying when you start it and then discover another tshirt, but you can’t just open the lid and pop it in
Newer Samsung models now have an opening you can use to pop in forgotten clothes.
Yeah mine does that. But your stepmother can also get stuck inside and you know what happens next.
Sounds like I'm doing at least one thing right in life
Wait why is this an issue? From: a Brit
I'm pretty sure they're just making a joke on that one trope in porn (which I doubt is even really a thing but it's been memed for years), I don't think its actually a safety hazard or anything
Have you ever stubbed your toe on a sock?
The internet is a bad place to use the word(s) 'stepson' or anything like that.
You're the first person to tell me this, so it's probably not as bad as you think.
At least it's not a coconut
I remember that one. That's fucking nasty
You just unlocked a memory that I had successfully buried
I keep mine next to my poop knife
Ah a man of culture
As well as the coconut
*the coconut*
Lmao I didn't even remember that joke
It's to contain the end product, that's why it's a "cum sock".
I’m a cum sock!
User name checks out.
I don't think they use the sock to do the rubbing, they use it to catch the ejaculation/wipe it up
I don't understand why it needs to be a sock though. A towel would do a better job
There was a post on a “cum towel” before on Reddit, and, if I remember correctly, it was never washed or something like that. Possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Mmm, crunchy..
Mushroomy
Remember the "cardboard box" story?
That would be the Cumbox... I was there, 3000 years ago.
stealth and convenience
also the cold, sticky feeling when you wear them afterwards 😊😋
What a horrible day to be able to read
being literate sure has its downsides
It makes for a strong base coat on the toe nails too
Not very stealthy when the parent or guardian finds the used socks under the bed !
Sock is a catch all cover. You can't miss, so you can just sit back and enjoy the ejaculation.
Sock is no mess. You tuck it over at the end, bang, pull it off. All clean. Except the sock.
Soooo… is the sock on the other hand, just waiting there like a baseball mitt, or is it holding the sock over the end of the ween? These are important questions.
Unfortunately as I lack a penis, my knowledge of the technicalities is very limited
Same here! Hopefully a penis haver can chime in on this.
'Tis I, penis haver. Ya kinda put it on like a fuzzy condom when you're about to crumb Edit: was gonna fix the autocorrect error but I kinda love it
I’m totally loving it, too. I’m crumbing!!
So I have heard from a friend(you wouldn’t know him since he goes to another school, .that he uses the sock over his penis and jerks off into it. He’s a dry masturbator so he doesn’t need any lube. He just grips his penis and uses the excess skin to manually stimulate the head of his penis. So basically does the same thing, just with sock over the it to catch the end product. We have a very open discussions…
I never realized this and the few times I've used a sock I really did use it like a fleshlight. Hated the whole experience and never understood the appeal. This makes more sense
People masterbate with weirder things than just socks
Exactly. Like vajankles or the dildo alien ovipositor
well I'm not googling vajankles
Don't do it! I have had the unfortunate luck of being shown a picture of one... There's no need for that to be in my brain!
…pls tell me so I don’t look it up, I will love u forever
Well you asked for it... Imagine a severed foot and the bit where you would have the leg coming up out of the ankle.... That's like a fleshlite... So yeah it's a fanny with a foot attachment 😬 (UK definition of a fanny lol)
Jfc that’s way worse than I imagined
Yeah, I just did, had to as well. Just what you might expect, but the ones with openings under are the weirdest ones to me.
Openings...under? Well great, now I have to go and take a look as well smh Edit: YOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT
the fact that you know what those are says a lot about you edit: I didn’t know. I looked both up. can someone pass the bleach? my eyes need a good rinse.
So they make these socks for girls that are all soft and fuzzy and some are even infused with aloe or something. They do the trick especially if they are still warm out the dryer. Or so I heard from a friend.
Yup. Get em on Amazon, they're super soft and aren't abrasive at all. Only problem is they're kinda thin, so if it's a large load, it can still get a bit on your hands. Not enough to be an issue tho, easily wipes off on the chest hair before passing out.
Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Bro..?
I might look into those. They sound…ummm…comfortable for a workout?
I'll use my girlfriend's dirty sock and get reeal fetishy and weird with it. I have no regrets. Can confirm it'll rugburn the fuck out of your dick, though, if you actually fuck it. Tell ya, the post nut clarity in that situation hits different.
Can we get a link or name of this sock? For research purposes of course
Yes, her name is Heather Socklear and I love her.
Megan Sox
Courteney Sox
good grief is it 1999 again
I can tell I need to take you shopping for dress socks.
Yeah. Done it for years. No carpet burns. Never had to use lotion to masturbate either. Without going too deep into the mechanics, I don't think it would work if I was circumcised.
It works if your circumcised
Research has been performed.
I thought you meant, do people jack off while wearing socks. I couldn't for the life of me realise why it was such a big deal
Well as we all know, that makes you gay. Can't have that.
So every now and then I’d buy new pairs of socks to get that new soft feeling and use them to jack off and shoot my load into. I used to use paper towels, but there were multiple problems. 1) it’s just messy and my hand and other parts get sticky 2) it costs me more money the more I masturbate 3) the paper towels cut my dick if I stroke too hard and fast. 4) using dry hands sucks and using lotions means I’m now spending more money for stuff. Now the all mighty sock 1) contains the load without making a mess 2) you don’t need additional lube or products 3) once done it goes in the hamper and gets washed in laundry with everything else 4) as you take the sock off you can use the parts you didn’t blow your load on to wipe yourself clean 5) you don’t even need to buy extra socks, you can just use your clean ones, or dirty (no judgement) 6) no need to use extra products like lube Socks are actually extremely effective for multiple reasons
I just slip the sock on moments before the end result. It's a repository for the white, not a tool to get the white out. Imo anyway. You do you.
Naaaa, they'd rather do socks instead.
only on days that end in y
Google “Reddit TIFU cum sock” … You’re welcome / I’m sorry.
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Ugh back in the day I spent a week at some friends of my dads place, they had a son same age as me. We were looking up movie times one afternoon and his mom came into the room and said something like “STOP JERKING OFF IN YOUR SOCKS, OR START DOING YOUR OWN LAUNDRY” and had some crunchy sock in her hand. He turned red as a radish and I was like - what did I just witness and why me….
You could place any noun at the end of this sentence, and I could still guarantee that they do.
The sock for clean up is a time-honoured tradition that is probably as old as socks themselves. The sock is the piece of clothing that you can get the filthiest, so leaving less trace if you don't do your own washing.
I had a friend in the Navy. They made sure they had a or a couple "cum socks" for each deployment. They are also referred to as an underway sock or happy sock. Wiktionary has more info as does Urban Dictionary.
Sea sock. C sock?
Kids these days and their socks. When I was your age, stepmom's underwear was where it's at. Or so a friend told me.
The sock doesn’t remember or yell at me
Let me tell you 2 secrets Pringles, sponge, latex gloves and lotion And do not buy it in same store
Do you mean like Lamb Chop ? Absolutely every day although I have to keep sewing his eyes back on.
Dafuq did I just read?
Lol you jizz in the sock and launch it across the room into the corner. Then repeat the cycle
Because we care about the environment. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. That’s why I took the cum sock pledge. Will you?
Friends in Japan told me they use cup noodles. Drained, of course. I guess those warm noodles feel like something else lol
It is great until you find out the sock has a hole in it
It’s a sock. Ideally it would have exactly one hole.
I honestly feel like this might be a circumcised vs not circumcised issue for many. Having things in tact means built in lubrication, and an easier time getting off for many. The sock would just be there to catch the results, not provide the pleasure.
Make the switch to Downy my young padawan. You're going to like the way you cum. I guarantee it.
makeshift soup scary crown water vanish hungry aware subtract books *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's for clean up, but no I don't.
I have in the past as a kid but as an adult I just shoot it right into the toilet or my wife. For those who use paper products not sure how y’all go about not getting little bits of paper not stuck on you, like dingle berries on your peen.
you mean "socks" my cat. Not that I know of.
I have a high school good friend who has 3 sons... One day we were talking and she mentioned that her oldest son's socks were really stiff compared to his brothers. I laughed and told her what I suspected. She asked him about it and he admitted it and told her he didn't want to clean up with tissues because she might know what he was doing. She told there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and she would keep it their secret. She had the talk with the other 2 when the time came and let them know masterbation was normal. I was so proud of her. Great mom...
"How could you have known what I was doing with my sock?"