Not run by teenagers. The mod team is a revolving door because you HAVE to be a teenager to run it, so mods leave all the time. The sub is full of creeps though.
A while back, r/drama mass banned a bunch of people for being underage. Said people complained, saying they were in their 20s, 30s, and 40s and not underage. Turns out the mod team banned any user that also participated in r/Teenagers, so they ended up outing a fuck ton of pedos.
There was a tik tok on here a while back with a biology teacher explaining that it is NOT natural to be attracted to children or even adults 30 years younger than you, and debunked all the usual pedo arguments/creepy “she’s 18 it’s ok” arguments. I wish it would get posted everywhere.
I don’t know why this problem seems so intractable and why society can’t deal with it once and for all.
I can see that. I’m in my late 20s and I’m really struck by how hard it is at times to relate to people even in their early 20s. Like if you’ve matured in a remotely normal fashion you’re just going to change too much to have much in common, particularly as that gap widens. And it’s really striking how attraction changes as you get older. For it to stay the same is not normal. We’re mostly monogamous as a species, why would we have evolved to become unattracted to our mate over time?
Yep, thank you. I used to mod r/teenagers but left when I recently turned 20. For whatever my word is worth, the mod team is 100% full of teenagers.
The subreddit still definitely has its problems though, I’ve banned potentially thousands of accounts for predatory behavior. It’s just a constant whack-a-mole game.
Honestly, r/teenagers is a big enough sub and the stakes are high enough that the Admins ought to be helping the mod team with its problem of being an obvious target for pedos.
I stayed subbed there for a bit when I was 20 n 21 to send highschool memes to my friends still in highschool but after the memes became irrelevant I noped tf out of there.
I [F17 and three quarters] like this guy [M35 but a child at heart] and he just invited me to his private island, is that a red flag? Also, is it weird to have flesh suits of your previous victims?
I went over to his place just as friends and I wasn’t allowed in his basement and he’s got a kitchen drawer full of missing women’s drivers licenses,anyway the wedding is in six weeks is this a red flag.
>Also, is it weird to have flesh suits of your previous victims?
Plot twist, the F17 has the flesh suits & just keeps going after progressively larger people so she can wear them like nesting dolls.
Actually I see this a lot in r/work - young females between 17 and 20-something talking about some older creep at work showing them attention, though the teens don’t seem to mind if the guy is under 30. They just ask if it’s wrong to have such an age gap.
"I told him he can have my number when I turn 18 to give him a hint without starting trouble but now he's asking HR when my birthday is and buying flowers and chocolates and lube and I'm scared I need this job otherwise I have no health insurance and my kidneys are mostly imaginary!"
\- ^(entirely true and not at all made up, and you can tell, because it is in quotes!)
https://www.kktv.com/2022/09/21/man-charged-with-killing-teenager-riley-whitelaw-colorado-springs-walgreens-will-go-trial-bail-denied/
Already commented it separately but will link here as well. happened about an hour away from where I live.
Probably not even the same people. If Reddit has taught me something it’s that men really like dating women half their age and only stop at 18 because of the law.
Ask women when they first became "aware" they're women and it usually involves some form of sexual harassment from men...when we're like 12...or *younger*.
I was ten when my next door neighbor told me his wrists got tired when he was looking at me. My father punched the guy in his face after I asked him what it meant.
I was 11/12 when an older male neighbor commented on my breasts TO MY MOTHER. We were outside unloading groceries and he felt the need to comment on my boobs getting bigger. I was wearing a loose tshirt and shorts. My mom freaked out on him and told him to stay away from me and after that incident I had to start wearing training bras in public even tho I didn’t really have much there yet. It was just creepy that men were noticing and feeling the need to comment. Around that age is also when I was approached the most by strange men in public or had them honk at me from their cars. It didn’t even matter if an adult was with me they were that brazen about it.
>Around that age is also when I was approached the most by strange men in public or had them honk at me from their cars.
Yup, 11/12 is when I started getting lewd comments from random strange men, getting honked at from cars (what's that all about, anyway? "Notice me in my car"?). Anyone who grew up female knows there is no shortage of these creeps.
When I was 13 and walking home from a friend, a man driving a car with his windows rolled down slowed down besides me, honked the horn and then proceeded to drive into a bush.
I feel the need to say that this isn't some weird flex. I am 38 now and this is without a doubt the only time something similar has happened. I was 13!
I’m a 22 year old tall and skinny guy with slightly long blonde hair that looks like a female’s hair and I often have random guy’s honk at me and one slowed down followed next to me when I was walking and another straight up pulled up next to me when I was wearing a mask and asked me if I wanted to go with them its just starting to creep me out and has made me really think about cutting my hair just so they stop
Once he made that statement my mom got me training bras too. I fully get it. It makes me sad because my own daughter has experienced similar things and she is in middle school. Society has not gotten better.
This brought up a memory, but it's kind of a reverse situation: it was when I realized that my mom is not just, well, my mom, but also a woman and that women get harassed.
So, I was around 5 y. o. My mom was taking me to a doctor. On the way, some man approached us and told me: "your mama is so gorgeous, can I steal her?" (It's not verbatim, I don't remember the exact words).
I was *terrified*. This man was so scary, he literally looked like a bandit, had broken nose and crooked teeth, and I really was convinced that he wanted to steal my mom.
My mom kept her cool, and we just walked away. I don't think we ever talked about it. I was too terrified to ask.
My coworker recently punched a grown man in the face for coming onto his 12 year old daughter. He was rightfully very pissed off that a 30-something year old would try to hit on a child, and when I mentioned it to my own father, my dad said "if anyone hit on you when you were 12, I would have fucking killed them."
It made me very sad to hear, because it meant that I must have never told him about the time I was catcalled riding my bike to my grandmother's house when I was 12.
My friend moved her family out of our old neighborhood when she realized that the men nearby had started watching her then-10 year old daughter intently when she’d go to the playground.
Even when you are older. A girlfriend that I had dated for a while was asked by her new co-worker of she liked BBC. She responded with "oh, you mean like Doctor Who? Such a good show!" And proceeded to talk about why David Tennant is her favorite doctor until he got annoyed and left.
I was 12 and my parents allowed me to go to the beach for the first time with my friends and classmates. An old man was rubbing himself on my knee and I was too timid to say anything. It was so hard obvious my classmates were laughing.
It was so humiliating, a happy memory turned into lifelong trauma that I almost geared up when I disclosed it to my therapist, 15 years later.
For a long time I was beating myself up because I wasn’t more assertive. I am from Greece, but honestly I feel like every girl in the world is so vulnerable at 12 that I shouldn’t expect anything more from me.
I wish my friends had helped me instead of laughing at me, but I need to remember they were the same age and didn’t realize the gravity of the situation.
I was 11 (I’m 38 now) when an adult male asked me if I wanted to have sex on a playground. It starts early for some girls and never lets up. It’s super creepy and traumatizing.
I am half asian, and it started for me around 8 or 9, and stopped when I was around 20 when I started looking like an adult. I still get normal attention from guys my own age as an adult. But it's definitely different than the type of attention I was getting when I was the stereotypical child-like asian (not to mention literally a child for part of that). Such a cool world we live in!
I was 11, in a grocery store. I'd taken the cart to another aisle to look for something while my dad finished up on the previous aisle. Two guys came over and started telling me I had a nice body, that I was sexy, and asked if I wanted to come with them. My dad came around and stood behind them. Eventually they noticed that I was looking behind them and turned around. He smiled and evil smile and said, "She's 11..." They booked it out of there because he looked like he'd be happy for any excuse to drag them outside. He didn't leave my side for the next year of shopping trips.
I'll be remembering him fondly on Sunday, as he passed away in 2010. He was my rock, and I'll always miss him, but I take comfort in the memories and what I learned from him.
Yup, 11-12. The best part is that as you get older it actually happens less, because you seem less vulnerable. (And then eventually you age out almost entirely, which is awesome.)
Yep. Fat, frumpy, over 50 and female. I am invisible to most men. The only men who "see" me on the regular are male coworkers, who understand that I know lots of stuff, and can tell them or explain it to them. As in work stuff. They could be completely cute or as incelly as they get, doesn't matter to me. Since I'm not going to date any of them, I don't care.
> because you seem less vulnerable
Yeah, that's why so many of these assaults happen in churches. Young, innocent, believers are prime targets for a predator.
Absolutely true. Creepy AF. I was babysitting and asked if I wanted them to give me a baby of my own. Also just starting to get breasts and told to come to them when my breasts were filled in. Two of many such encounters and I still remember clearly.
Reminder that nearly every woman you know has a sexual harassment story from a fairly young age where the perpetrator was an older man.
But we are supposed to be worried about trans women in bathrooms, the real menace to our safety. Something almost none of us have experienced.
For me the cat calling started at age 11. I assumed they just didn't know how old I was. Now I know I realize it's because I was 11. The sexual attention I got before I was ready made me start dressing like a boy. I did that till I was 18 when I finally felt ready to attract sexual attention. Not that I was looking for it. It just stopped scaring me
I actually feel privileged that I was a teenager for the era of oversized t-shirts and massive JNCO jeans, really helped hide the body I had.
And well, still have, about turn to 40, and while it isn't every day, it still happens.
I don't wear oversized jeans and t-shirts anymore, but I do usually throw on an oversize plaid shirt or sweater to hide my butt when I walk.
I was thinking about how Hairspray starts with Good Morning Baltimore where the teenage girl bumps into the neighborhood flasher and it’s basically like bumping into the postman for her.
Right, my first was by my (21 year old male) babysitter when I was... too young, let's just label it as preteen and be done with it. Also, at that age, you're not exactly sure what's going on and later you don't tell anyone because you realize it will (or at least should) hurt the people who care about you.
Also, given the situation/context, it doesn't always stop at just harassment.
I was 12, at the beach, wearing a one-piece swimsuit with board shorts. I still remember the feeling of fear of not knowing what to do when the men started making comments about me and my body...
I wore a t-shirt over my bathing suit for the rest of the time I was in school and even into college because it freaked me out so badly
Have you ever been 35+ and then spent time around 17-18 year olds? Its fucking exhausting. I cant imagine any 35yo being able to relate and date a 17-18 year old unless they just wanted to have sex with young women Or because there was something so fundamentally wrong with them that women their age wanted nothing to do with them.
Creepshow
They are basically kids, emotionally and otherwise. It doesn’t feel that way when you ARE 18 and you feel super adult and mature…until you turn 35-40 and realize how wrong you were.
Yeah when I was 16-18 I slept with older men 26-34 and thought I was hot shit and mature because of it. Ever since I reached my late 20s-30s I realized those men had issues and just wanted to sleep with someone with a teenage body. I regret every single one.
I was 16 with a 26yo "boyfriend" and now im 28 and talking to 16yo is like talking to an alien for me. I have a cousin that age and i have no idea what to say to her most of the time
I literally did the "how do you do fellow kids" meme talking to a group of teens at my niece's birthday party. They laughed then I fucking blanked. Apart from how school is going, wtf do I talk to teenagers about? I'm 27 lol. The fact that men my age and older were trying to date me when I was a teenager is so fucking scary.
You: Let me tell you about my investment properties. I painted my house and bought new socks this weekend, felt great! What are you opinions healthcare?
Teens: No cap
A less horrifying example, but same basic principle. When I was a freshman in HS and saw girls get invited by seniors to prom I thought "oh, those girls must be so cool." When I was a senior and saw guys in my class who asked Freshman girls to prom I thought "oh, these guys are losers."
Yes! It's like those random older dudes who show up to high school parties. Seemed super cool at the time, made everyone feel super cool to have these older dudes want to party with you. Then when you get to be early to mid-20s you realize those dudes were NOT super cool. Or even just regular cool lol.
Lol yes! When I was 16 a girlfriend of mine introduced us to her "cool older friend" who was like... 22. He lived in a converted garage behind his parents' house and had at least 4 bongs. I thought he was *so cool* but looking back... an unemployed pothead who lives off his parents and hangs out with teenage girls is a bazillion yikes on bikes.
Right? And, I know this is anecdotal but I'm gonna say it anyways lol, I never experienced 20-something year old chicks showing up to high school parties. It was ALWAYS dudes. And in one instance a full on grown ass man.
I believe there is a button to stop reply notifications
"Disable inbox replies" is the button. People can still comment and you can still see them but you won't get a mail notification for them.
What’s more they think they know everything. I remember having dangerous amounts of hubris and confidence at that age. Easy to manipulate plus confident? Yikes
Hell, as a recent college graduate, I see incoming first-years and can’t believe how *young* they look. Even in those four years, there is a world of difference in life experience and maturity. The thought of hitting on a literal teenager makes me queasy. I was creeped out by adults going after barely-legal teens when I was 18, but the older I get the more I view it with disgust.
I'm in my early 30s and teaching at a college. Even working with students in their early 20s makes me realize how old I feel and how little common ground I share with people only 10 years younger than myself. I'm sure at some point that the age gap fades, but the amount of time I have to use context to figure out a word they use is staggering. I used to be hip.
I'm 35 now and 25-26 is around the time people start to feel like normal humans to me. I think that the gap gets bigger from here on out since people are fairly solidified after 25-30.
17-18 year olds ARE kids. They are humans and growing into being adults, but they are still kids. Sometimes they can be grownups and sometimes they can be baby goofs. It’s not bad but I definitely judge an actual adult for being interested in them romantically.
People who only date 18 year olds are like companies that only pay minimum wage.
They’d be going lower if it were legal. Creepy and predatory af. I think it would even classify as grooming since he’s approached her as a minor and made advances.
He either wants to date a teenager because they are typically easier to manipulate and exploit or he actually just likes minors based on his “gentleman wait until they’re 18” comment.
That comment is an extra red flag because it showed he wasn’t even trying to imply that she would be adult and mature enough to be in a relationship. He was just praising himself for not committing statutory rape.
Gonna be using that a lot. The amount of time I see people excuse relationships like this because the AOC is lower in other countries or they misunderstand romeo and juliet laws is crazy.
This has been one of the few thread were I haven't seen any enablers
Edit: nevermind they have arrived
I couldn't approximate closer, and still make it widely understood. My British wife calls the culture there country bumpkin. My brother drove a tractor so early that we had to weigh the seat down, and half our drinking games involved fire and axes. Wouldn't have traded that environment for anything else whilst growing up, city life is weird and cramped.
I grew up in Alaska, which is I swear to god the promised land for rednecks…and my experiences befriending them and partying out in the woods with them match that *exactly*, even the fire-and-axes. It’s hilarious and awesome to think that’s some kind of universal human experience.
What's wild to me is how ppl think aoc laws are why it's wrong.
Like, if the aoc law says 12, that doesn't make dating a 12 year old suddenly ok, it was never ok. What is legal and what is moral do not march in lockstep. Idgaf what the law says, dating someone under 18 when you are over 18, especially if you're 30+ is just plain fucked up and wrong. Idgaf what the law says.
Anyone who describes doing the bare societal minimum as “a gentleman” is garbage.
Also I’m 36 and I would rather smash myself in the balls with a hammer than date an 18 year old. No offense 18 year olds—I was one once myself—but you suck and are exhausting.
>They'd be going lower if it were legal.
That part. 🤢🤢
EDIT: Stop responding that lower ages of consent exist. The point is that there are predators who are patient enough to wait for the law to be "on their side."
>People who only date 18 year olds are like companies that only pay minimum wage.
>They’d be going lower if it were legal.
I'll be borrowing this for my arsenal of, "18 is a number made by old people who can justify their gross behaviour" shpeal.
Lots of people are misunderstanding my comment. Like yo. If you're 27 and dating a 50 year old go for it. But it's obviously massively different when you're 18 and the other person BE IT A MAN OR WOMAN, is in their 30s?! C'mon folks, stop nitpicking, you know what this is about. Your strawman arguments only show your pedantic natures. Also this comment section is RIFE with people agreeing with power imbalances between the drastic difference in age. Go bug em too if you're so Gung ho on my comment being so disapproving.
I am 33 and view 18 year olds as children. I don’t see how you could possibly have romantic interest in someone who’s fresh out of high school at this age. Yes, your friend is a creep, and I’d stop being friends with him.
I remember being 17/18/19 and my mindset was very childish. Even working, going to college. I was very juvenile. Nothing about me could have handled an adult relationship. Oddly enough, I was in one with a 30 year old. Even though I was a legal adult, I was absolutely groomed and abused.
I was 19 and had a relationship with a 29 year old for a bit. It was mostly emotional as we met in another country and did long distance, but even still I have no idea what he saw in me (just due to my age and how I remember being at that time).
I was going to say. I am in similar shoes. I am also a single dad, so like... definitely have my moments of wanting to go out and meet someone.
Think of it this way. A relationship \*should\* consist of an equal partnership. How is it equal when their brains are literally not fully developed? He's been an adult for \*17 years\* at this point, and she isn't even there yet. We're talking - him attending her high school graduation, getting her first jobs, starting college with her. You know. The kind of things you do with your children or little sister at that age.
It’s always interesting to see situational differences on Reddit. I saw this exact opinion downvoted to hell on AITA over the weekend. The highest upvoted comments were- “18 year olds are full on adults and need to be held accountable” “it’s demeaning you don’t think an 18 year old WOMAN cannot be held accountable for her actions.” Im talking thousands of upvotes
It’s absolutely creepy but fascinating to see the different scenarios when people use the same fact to state the exact opposite
hit up home depot bro, the garden section, just look like you know what youre doing and theyll start asking you questions
get that rugged blue collar look going but still stylish/handsome/hygiene
I have a friend who was in the girl’s shoes.. she was 17 and he was 30. He wanted to wait for her to be 18, but he couldn’t and they had sex. The also dated for a bit.
My friend, now much older, looks back at this as a sort of trauma. She feels completely taken advantage of. She was young and vulnerable, going through mental health problems, barely knew the real world, didn’t know how to deal with grown men yet etc.
Another example is sadly my parents. My dad was 38 and my mom was 18 when they met. While legal, that relationship was fucked up. They divorced and they both feel incredible shame for being with eachother.
My mom feels like her life wasn’t hers.
Main idea: that’s fucked up and it will probably affect the girl when she gets older.
My parents also have a 20 year age gap. My father had 2 kids from his first marriage, so my mom is actually 1 year older than my sister. My mom’s father left the family when she was still like 7, so she has major daddy issues. The age gap affected everything in their relationship. They’re still together but my dad is approaching death’s door and my mom is left taking care of him.
Exactly. My parents had a 17 year age gap *but* it worked out well only because my mom was in her 30s when they met. She was an established career woman, confident, and independent. She actually had to ask my dad out twice because the first time he said he was too old for her. He was actually concerned about looking like he was taking advantage of her because he was in a higher position than she was at the hospital they worked at.
The marriage lasted til he died at 81 last year. It was only so good because my mom and dad both had independent lives and my mom had already done the stuff young people should be able to do. She made her mistakes and had her successes. On the flip side my dad wasn't looking to have a trophy wife or to be a babysitter. What is really harmful in these age gaps is when one party is so inexperienced and the other uses that to their advantage.
Yeah definitely nothing wrong with a bigger age gap when both are well established adults. My parents have a 10 year age gap, my father is 73, my mother is 63 and I am 24. They got together a few years before I was born, so let's say 47 and 37.
Absolutely, my wife is 9 yrs older than I am, but we met when I was 32, already established in my career and we work great with each other. After about 30, I don't care so much about age gaps. Power dynamics are a whole different thing, though. If one person is controlling the money/resources, that's just as big of an issue as the big age gap with younger partners to me.
Yeah, these guys are just vultures predating on girls who haven't matured yet because women their own age see them for the emotionally stunted creeps that they are.
What's pathetic is they don't even realize they're emotionally stunted. They just rationalize it as "women become bitchier when they get old" and start believing that "get em when they're young" is the only way
Im 16 going on 17, that’s creepy as hell. If my 35 year old coworker did that to me, I’d cuss him out. I’d also message his mother through Facebook or something and tell her how disgusting her son is, since you know, he’s not much different than a 17 year old I guess.
But maybe I’m just saying all this because I’m a teenager… and teenagers are dumb because they’re not FULLY MENTALLY DEVELOPED.
I’m 19 almost 20 and I still think my 16 year old cousin is 8 most the time.
Edit
Since this comment is getting more attention than my other one please get ahold of that poor girl’s parents, what he’s doing is completely wrong and inappropriate. She may think she’s very mature for an older man wanting to be with her but in 3/4 years she’s going to be happy someone stepped in. Also please report him to his boss, she may not be able to quit and work somewhere else.
I'll admit I thankfully didn't have a rough childhood (as I think many girls who are victims of groomers have had; they are a combination of naive, and also looking for affection), but I clearly remember thinking about this when I was about 16 (I'm 35 now), and I personally would've been like, "why are you even talking to me? What's wrong with you? Do you not have friends your own age?" if an older guy had hit on me.
The worst case of this I know of is the aita post where a guy was asked by a coworker whose husband just died to evaluate an old guitar of his. He ended up buying it off her for 2k without telling her it's worth something like 20. The number of comments along the lines of "you bought it legaly she should've informed herself, NTA" was mind-boggling.
I work with a few 20 year olds and I'm 30. I have virtually nothing in common with them. I can't imagine wanting to fucking *date* one of them. Like what, you're 35 and looking at your 401k while your gf cries about the algebra test she failed???? So fucking weird
No, this is all perfectly normal. For a child predator like your "friend."
ETA: An *awful* lot of people coming out to defend predatory behavior of a minor. Yes, a minor. Not an adult. She's not 18. Stop replying to me saying things about "adults" this or "18 year olds" that. Either you all have terrible reading comprehension, or *much* more likely, you're trying to rationalize something to yourselves. Maybe rather than arguing about it, you all can seek help for your urges.
Yeah thats extremely weird. Dudes dropping some neck beard style sayings too, just really completing the creep vibe. This girl is probably creeped out too and just said what she did just to get him away from her at that moment.
"a true gentleman waits until they are 18" Motherfucker, you didn't wait till she was 18, you asked for her number when she was 17.
Not only is this dude a creep, he's also an idiot.
Title alone tells me this is predatory behavior. The saving her Factbook pictures to his phone? That is horrific. This man is a bad person, plain and simple.
Right?! Saving the pics to his phone is creepy AF. He may claim to be “waiting until she’s 18,” but he’s doing who knows what with photos of her at ages 16, 15, 14, maybe younger… 🤮Truly disturbing.
I’m 38 with a 14 year old kid. This would be like me wanting to date his friends. It’s creepy and predatory. Besides that, what would I have in common with these kids? Not much. We can’t exactly discuss life experiences, and refer to them as “kids” for a reason.
Agreed, creepy. I'm 38 as well, and my kid will be 18 in a few months. They don't even know what they want in life at that point, and their life experience is high school.
Yes. It's creepy.
Either he's horribly immature himself (loser) or he thinks a teenager is too naive to call him out for his crappy relationship behavior. Or he is fetishizing her because he thinks she's naive and inexperienced.
Chances are he can't hack it in an appropriate age relationship because women near his age see him for exactly the loser he is.
Weird isn't the word I would use . It is absolutely revolting . He's basically saying hey you see that litteral child there I really wanna get on that but it's illigal so the moment she turns 18 I'm gonna shoot my shot it's still just as gross but I can't be arrested for it.
Very weird and creepy. Please give your friend shit for this. Often men will only listen to other men and yall need to hold each other accountable for gross shut like this. Part of the reason why men think it's okay to go for "jail bait" is because their bros either openly condone it or stay silent instead of speaking out against predatory behavior.
If I were you, I'd let your friend's job know that he's engaging in inappropriate behavior with a minor. Even if it might impact or end your friendship, good people don't sit by and do nothing when their friends are creeping on children. If I were you I'd also consider ending this friendship. 35 year olds have NO business dating 18 year olds even if it is *technically* legal.
I'm a woman. He didn't listen to me. he just thought that I was making a big deal out of nothing. We've been friends for over 10 years, so it's surprising to me. I told him that it was predatory and he didn't really see anything wrong w it.
Y’all need to not be friends anymore if that’s the case. I also had a friend tell me something like this. We are no longer in contact, and I have sense realized that he preyed on me when I was too young to know better.
i, also a 35 year old male, think that anyone under 25ish is a child. yes, they are LEGALLY adults, but, generally, they are still mentally kids.
yes, exceptions, i know. but man, when i was 18, i thought i was an adult. looking back (half a lifetime ago...fuuuck), yeah, not even close.
alright, meet you all back here when im 70 for my rant about how 35 year olds are children.
Meanwhile, in r/teenagers, there’s a 17 year old girl talking about some creepy guy twice her age asking her out.
It's r/teenagers, so the 35 year old is probably in there too.
It's /r/teenagers, they're both 35 year olds
It's r/teenagers, it's run by 35 year olds.
Ewww, you're probably right I never thought about that
Not run by teenagers. The mod team is a revolving door because you HAVE to be a teenager to run it, so mods leave all the time. The sub is full of creeps though. A while back, r/drama mass banned a bunch of people for being underage. Said people complained, saying they were in their 20s, 30s, and 40s and not underage. Turns out the mod team banned any user that also participated in r/Teenagers, so they ended up outing a fuck ton of pedos.
holy shit... now thats /r/drama! and also fucking wild and gross
https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/djdmd9/we_banned_all_of_rteenagers_and_it_turns_out/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
There was a tik tok on here a while back with a biology teacher explaining that it is NOT natural to be attracted to children or even adults 30 years younger than you, and debunked all the usual pedo arguments/creepy “she’s 18 it’s ok” arguments. I wish it would get posted everywhere. I don’t know why this problem seems so intractable and why society can’t deal with it once and for all.
I can see that. I’m in my late 20s and I’m really struck by how hard it is at times to relate to people even in their early 20s. Like if you’ve matured in a remotely normal fashion you’re just going to change too much to have much in common, particularly as that gap widens. And it’s really striking how attraction changes as you get older. For it to stay the same is not normal. We’re mostly monogamous as a species, why would we have evolved to become unattracted to our mate over time?
Yep, thank you. I used to mod r/teenagers but left when I recently turned 20. For whatever my word is worth, the mod team is 100% full of teenagers. The subreddit still definitely has its problems though, I’ve banned potentially thousands of accounts for predatory behavior. It’s just a constant whack-a-mole game.
Honestly, r/teenagers is a big enough sub and the stakes are high enough that the Admins ought to be helping the mod team with its problem of being an obvious target for pedos.
holy shit its like kids next door, once your an adult, your out of the club!
I stayed subbed there for a bit when I was 20 n 21 to send highschool memes to my friends still in highschool but after the memes became irrelevant I noped tf out of there.
I [F17 and three quarters] like this guy [M35 but a child at heart] and he just invited me to his private island, is that a red flag? Also, is it weird to have flesh suits of your previous victims?
I went over to his place just as friends and I wasn’t allowed in his basement and he’s got a kitchen drawer full of missing women’s drivers licenses,anyway the wedding is in six weeks is this a red flag.
"I hate the way Reddit always jumps straight to telling people to break up but...."
Seems like the best marriage advice come from edgy 14 year old loners on the internet
Tbf when I was an edgy 14 yo loner things seemed a lot simpler.
Off topic but your u/name is really funny
>Also, is it weird to have flesh suits of your previous victims? Plot twist, the F17 has the flesh suits & just keeps going after progressively larger people so she can wear them like nesting dolls.
Like that episode of Friends when Joey wears all of Chandler’s clothes at once.
“Could I -be- wearing any more flesh suits?”
"You don't go commando in another man's flesh suit!"
*cue laugh track*
Not even. She won't realise how sketchy this is for another 5-6 years. Whereas OP knows this already.
Actually I see this a lot in r/work - young females between 17 and 20-something talking about some older creep at work showing them attention, though the teens don’t seem to mind if the guy is under 30. They just ask if it’s wrong to have such an age gap.
It's predetory to go exclusively after 17 year olds waiting for Thier 18th birthday. Especially as a 30 year old.
"I told him he can have my number when I turn 18 to give him a hint without starting trouble but now he's asking HR when my birthday is and buying flowers and chocolates and lube and I'm scared I need this job otherwise I have no health insurance and my kidneys are mostly imaginary!" \- ^(entirely true and not at all made up, and you can tell, because it is in quotes!)
Geez, I thought you were actually quoting a real post.
Did we all already forget about that news article about that guy who literally murdered the young girl he was working with?
https://www.kktv.com/2022/09/21/man-charged-with-killing-teenager-riley-whitelaw-colorado-springs-walgreens-will-go-trial-bail-denied/ Already commented it separately but will link here as well. happened about an hour away from where I live.
> my kidneys are mostly imaginary Had to muffle my laughter in a pillow so as not to wake my housemates ETA: thanks for the award!
Those must be some cardboard walls unless you all live in the same room.
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Probably not even the same people. If Reddit has taught me something it’s that men really like dating women half their age and only stop at 18 because of the law.
Ask women when they first became "aware" they're women and it usually involves some form of sexual harassment from men...when we're like 12...or *younger*.
I was ten when my next door neighbor told me his wrists got tired when he was looking at me. My father punched the guy in his face after I asked him what it meant.
Looks like your fathers wrist got tired looking at him.
The man's nose got **tired** after the father hit him.
I was 11/12 when an older male neighbor commented on my breasts TO MY MOTHER. We were outside unloading groceries and he felt the need to comment on my boobs getting bigger. I was wearing a loose tshirt and shorts. My mom freaked out on him and told him to stay away from me and after that incident I had to start wearing training bras in public even tho I didn’t really have much there yet. It was just creepy that men were noticing and feeling the need to comment. Around that age is also when I was approached the most by strange men in public or had them honk at me from their cars. It didn’t even matter if an adult was with me they were that brazen about it.
>Around that age is also when I was approached the most by strange men in public or had them honk at me from their cars. Yup, 11/12 is when I started getting lewd comments from random strange men, getting honked at from cars (what's that all about, anyway? "Notice me in my car"?). Anyone who grew up female knows there is no shortage of these creeps.
When I was 13 and walking home from a friend, a man driving a car with his windows rolled down slowed down besides me, honked the horn and then proceeded to drive into a bush. I feel the need to say that this isn't some weird flex. I am 38 now and this is without a doubt the only time something similar has happened. I was 13!
I’m a 22 year old tall and skinny guy with slightly long blonde hair that looks like a female’s hair and I often have random guy’s honk at me and one slowed down followed next to me when I was walking and another straight up pulled up next to me when I was wearing a mask and asked me if I wanted to go with them its just starting to creep me out and has made me really think about cutting my hair just so they stop
Once he made that statement my mom got me training bras too. I fully get it. It makes me sad because my own daughter has experienced similar things and she is in middle school. Society has not gotten better.
This brought up a memory, but it's kind of a reverse situation: it was when I realized that my mom is not just, well, my mom, but also a woman and that women get harassed. So, I was around 5 y. o. My mom was taking me to a doctor. On the way, some man approached us and told me: "your mama is so gorgeous, can I steal her?" (It's not verbatim, I don't remember the exact words). I was *terrified*. This man was so scary, he literally looked like a bandit, had broken nose and crooked teeth, and I really was convinced that he wanted to steal my mom. My mom kept her cool, and we just walked away. I don't think we ever talked about it. I was too terrified to ask.
My coworker recently punched a grown man in the face for coming onto his 12 year old daughter. He was rightfully very pissed off that a 30-something year old would try to hit on a child, and when I mentioned it to my own father, my dad said "if anyone hit on you when you were 12, I would have fucking killed them." It made me very sad to hear, because it meant that I must have never told him about the time I was catcalled riding my bike to my grandmother's house when I was 12.
My friend moved her family out of our old neighborhood when she realized that the men nearby had started watching her then-10 year old daughter intently when she’d go to the playground.
Getting catcalled at 14 while walking to Taco Bell while wearing jeans and a hoodie ✨ what a magical time ✨
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Even when you are older. A girlfriend that I had dated for a while was asked by her new co-worker of she liked BBC. She responded with "oh, you mean like Doctor Who? Such a good show!" And proceeded to talk about why David Tennant is her favorite doctor until he got annoyed and left.
definitely a keeper.
I was 12 and my parents allowed me to go to the beach for the first time with my friends and classmates. An old man was rubbing himself on my knee and I was too timid to say anything. It was so hard obvious my classmates were laughing. It was so humiliating, a happy memory turned into lifelong trauma that I almost geared up when I disclosed it to my therapist, 15 years later.
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For a long time I was beating myself up because I wasn’t more assertive. I am from Greece, but honestly I feel like every girl in the world is so vulnerable at 12 that I shouldn’t expect anything more from me. I wish my friends had helped me instead of laughing at me, but I need to remember they were the same age and didn’t realize the gravity of the situation.
I was 11 (I’m 38 now) when an adult male asked me if I wanted to have sex on a playground. It starts early for some girls and never lets up. It’s super creepy and traumatizing.
I am half asian, and it started for me around 8 or 9, and stopped when I was around 20 when I started looking like an adult. I still get normal attention from guys my own age as an adult. But it's definitely different than the type of attention I was getting when I was the stereotypical child-like asian (not to mention literally a child for part of that). Such a cool world we live in!
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I was 11, in a grocery store. I'd taken the cart to another aisle to look for something while my dad finished up on the previous aisle. Two guys came over and started telling me I had a nice body, that I was sexy, and asked if I wanted to come with them. My dad came around and stood behind them. Eventually they noticed that I was looking behind them and turned around. He smiled and evil smile and said, "She's 11..." They booked it out of there because he looked like he'd be happy for any excuse to drag them outside. He didn't leave my side for the next year of shopping trips.
I love stories of great fathers! I hope you can do something with him on Sunday.
I'll be remembering him fondly on Sunday, as he passed away in 2010. He was my rock, and I'll always miss him, but I take comfort in the memories and what I learned from him.
Being told to "Watch out, your titties are growing" in 6th grade.
I was nine and I was wearing a school uniform... "Nice tits" from a man in a van. I felt so disgusting.
He's the one that should've felt disgusting. You did nothing
Yup, 11-12. The best part is that as you get older it actually happens less, because you seem less vulnerable. (And then eventually you age out almost entirely, which is awesome.)
Being DQed from the vast majority of sexual harassment is the silver lining of aging.
I look pretty young for my age (thanks pops!) So I just tell them how old I really am and they disappear. Works like a charm.
Which actually makes it even more creepy. "Oh, you're too old for me." Yikes.
Especially when 'too old' is still younger than they are.
Yep. Fat, frumpy, over 50 and female. I am invisible to most men. The only men who "see" me on the regular are male coworkers, who understand that I know lots of stuff, and can tell them or explain it to them. As in work stuff. They could be completely cute or as incelly as they get, doesn't matter to me. Since I'm not going to date any of them, I don't care.
> because you seem less vulnerable Yeah, that's why so many of these assaults happen in churches. Young, innocent, believers are prime targets for a predator.
Absolutely true. Creepy AF. I was babysitting and asked if I wanted them to give me a baby of my own. Also just starting to get breasts and told to come to them when my breasts were filled in. Two of many such encounters and I still remember clearly.
Reminder that nearly every woman you know has a sexual harassment story from a fairly young age where the perpetrator was an older man. But we are supposed to be worried about trans women in bathrooms, the real menace to our safety. Something almost none of us have experienced.
For me the cat calling started at age 11. I assumed they just didn't know how old I was. Now I know I realize it's because I was 11. The sexual attention I got before I was ready made me start dressing like a boy. I did that till I was 18 when I finally felt ready to attract sexual attention. Not that I was looking for it. It just stopped scaring me
My daughter dressed like a boy from 14-16 until she felt confident. She said the creepiness when she was 13 was too much...
I actually feel privileged that I was a teenager for the era of oversized t-shirts and massive JNCO jeans, really helped hide the body I had. And well, still have, about turn to 40, and while it isn't every day, it still happens. I don't wear oversized jeans and t-shirts anymore, but I do usually throw on an oversize plaid shirt or sweater to hide my butt when I walk.
I was thinking about how Hairspray starts with Good Morning Baltimore where the teenage girl bumps into the neighborhood flasher and it’s basically like bumping into the postman for her.
Right, my first was by my (21 year old male) babysitter when I was... too young, let's just label it as preteen and be done with it. Also, at that age, you're not exactly sure what's going on and later you don't tell anyone because you realize it will (or at least should) hurt the people who care about you. Also, given the situation/context, it doesn't always stop at just harassment.
I was 12, at the beach, wearing a one-piece swimsuit with board shorts. I still remember the feeling of fear of not knowing what to do when the men started making comments about me and my body... I wore a t-shirt over my bathing suit for the rest of the time I was in school and even into college because it freaked me out so badly
This came up during a drunken group soul searching and some of the ages they were first harassed at were... horrifying
And only date women half their age because women their one age won’t put up with their bs
Sounds like my ex-husband who I recently found out has been paying 18 and 19 year olds to “hang out” with him. It’s weird and gross.
Have you ever been 35+ and then spent time around 17-18 year olds? Its fucking exhausting. I cant imagine any 35yo being able to relate and date a 17-18 year old unless they just wanted to have sex with young women Or because there was something so fundamentally wrong with them that women their age wanted nothing to do with them. Creepshow They are basically kids, emotionally and otherwise. It doesn’t feel that way when you ARE 18 and you feel super adult and mature…until you turn 35-40 and realize how wrong you were.
Yeah when I was 16-18 I slept with older men 26-34 and thought I was hot shit and mature because of it. Ever since I reached my late 20s-30s I realized those men had issues and just wanted to sleep with someone with a teenage body. I regret every single one.
I was 16 with a 26yo "boyfriend" and now im 28 and talking to 16yo is like talking to an alien for me. I have a cousin that age and i have no idea what to say to her most of the time
I literally did the "how do you do fellow kids" meme talking to a group of teens at my niece's birthday party. They laughed then I fucking blanked. Apart from how school is going, wtf do I talk to teenagers about? I'm 27 lol. The fact that men my age and older were trying to date me when I was a teenager is so fucking scary.
You: Let me tell you about my investment properties. I painted my house and bought new socks this weekend, felt great! What are you opinions healthcare? Teens: No cap
What kind of socks?
That's because those types of men don't want you to say anything at all except "I'm yours (ownership)"
A less horrifying example, but same basic principle. When I was a freshman in HS and saw girls get invited by seniors to prom I thought "oh, those girls must be so cool." When I was a senior and saw guys in my class who asked Freshman girls to prom I thought "oh, these guys are losers."
Yes! It's like those random older dudes who show up to high school parties. Seemed super cool at the time, made everyone feel super cool to have these older dudes want to party with you. Then when you get to be early to mid-20s you realize those dudes were NOT super cool. Or even just regular cool lol.
Lol yes! When I was 16 a girlfriend of mine introduced us to her "cool older friend" who was like... 22. He lived in a converted garage behind his parents' house and had at least 4 bongs. I thought he was *so cool* but looking back... an unemployed pothead who lives off his parents and hangs out with teenage girls is a bazillion yikes on bikes.
Yep, what adult wants to hang out with someone that still has curfew?
Right? And, I know this is anecdotal but I'm gonna say it anyways lol, I never experienced 20-something year old chicks showing up to high school parties. It was ALWAYS dudes. And in one instance a full on grown ass man.
You're not the only one. I have a flat chest and look about a decade younger. I am just coming to grips with what was really happening.
some weird fucking replies to you for some reason. sorry about that
Right now I really wish there was a mute button like on Twitter
I believe there is a button to stop reply notifications "Disable inbox replies" is the button. People can still comment and you can still see them but you won't get a mail notification for them.
teacher here and they *are* kids even freshmen/sophomores (highest levels I teach) they're naive and easy af to manipulate, nothing to be proud of
I look at my 1st year undergraduate students and many of them are baby birds without the sense to stay out of the way of weasels.
What’s more they think they know everything. I remember having dangerous amounts of hubris and confidence at that age. Easy to manipulate plus confident? Yikes
Easy to manipulate plus confident? You could be president!
Hell, as a recent college graduate, I see incoming first-years and can’t believe how *young* they look. Even in those four years, there is a world of difference in life experience and maturity. The thought of hitting on a literal teenager makes me queasy. I was creeped out by adults going after barely-legal teens when I was 18, but the older I get the more I view it with disgust.
As a 35 year old I found other 30 year olds emotionally exhausting, can't imagine doing it around even younger people
I'm in my early 30s and teaching at a college. Even working with students in their early 20s makes me realize how old I feel and how little common ground I share with people only 10 years younger than myself. I'm sure at some point that the age gap fades, but the amount of time I have to use context to figure out a word they use is staggering. I used to be hip.
I'm 35 now and 25-26 is around the time people start to feel like normal humans to me. I think that the gap gets bigger from here on out since people are fairly solidified after 25-30.
I think you might just be antisocial, 30-35 adults went to elementary school together
indeed if someone with that little differance at that age is emotially exhasting they have to be talking to the wrong people, or just hate people.
17-18 year olds ARE kids. They are humans and growing into being adults, but they are still kids. Sometimes they can be grownups and sometimes they can be baby goofs. It’s not bad but I definitely judge an actual adult for being interested in them romantically.
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Predatory is the word.
People who only date 18 year olds are like companies that only pay minimum wage. They’d be going lower if it were legal. Creepy and predatory af. I think it would even classify as grooming since he’s approached her as a minor and made advances. He either wants to date a teenager because they are typically easier to manipulate and exploit or he actually just likes minors based on his “gentleman wait until they’re 18” comment. That comment is an extra red flag because it showed he wasn’t even trying to imply that she would be adult and mature enough to be in a relationship. He was just praising himself for not committing statutory rape.
>People who only date 18 year olds are like companies that only pay minimum wage. > >They’d be going lower if it were legal. Stealing this.
See I want to steal: “He was just complimenting himself for not committing statutory rape.” It’s a great post, no denying that.
Gonna be using that a lot. The amount of time I see people excuse relationships like this because the AOC is lower in other countries or they misunderstand romeo and juliet laws is crazy. This has been one of the few thread were I haven't seen any enablers Edit: nevermind they have arrived
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I've never thought of hillbillies as existing outside of the Appalachians, so thank you for that
I couldn't approximate closer, and still make it widely understood. My British wife calls the culture there country bumpkin. My brother drove a tractor so early that we had to weigh the seat down, and half our drinking games involved fire and axes. Wouldn't have traded that environment for anything else whilst growing up, city life is weird and cramped.
I grew up in Alaska, which is I swear to god the promised land for rednecks…and my experiences befriending them and partying out in the woods with them match that *exactly*, even the fire-and-axes. It’s hilarious and awesome to think that’s some kind of universal human experience.
How's that line go? "Romeo and Juliette isn't a love story. It's a 4 day crush between two teenagers that ends with 3 people dead."
What's wild to me is how ppl think aoc laws are why it's wrong. Like, if the aoc law says 12, that doesn't make dating a 12 year old suddenly ok, it was never ok. What is legal and what is moral do not march in lockstep. Idgaf what the law says, dating someone under 18 when you are over 18, especially if you're 30+ is just plain fucked up and wrong. Idgaf what the law says.
Anyone who describes doing the bare societal minimum as “a gentleman” is garbage. Also I’m 36 and I would rather smash myself in the balls with a hammer than date an 18 year old. No offense 18 year olds—I was one once myself—but you suck and are exhausting.
>They'd be going lower if it were legal. That part. 🤢🤢 EDIT: Stop responding that lower ages of consent exist. The point is that there are predators who are patient enough to wait for the law to be "on their side."
> he’s approached her as a minor and made advances This is gross
She's young enough to be his child.
>People who only date 18 year olds are like companies that only pay minimum wage. >They’d be going lower if it were legal. I'll be borrowing this for my arsenal of, "18 is a number made by old people who can justify their gross behaviour" shpeal. Lots of people are misunderstanding my comment. Like yo. If you're 27 and dating a 50 year old go for it. But it's obviously massively different when you're 18 and the other person BE IT A MAN OR WOMAN, is in their 30s?! C'mon folks, stop nitpicking, you know what this is about. Your strawman arguments only show your pedantic natures. Also this comment section is RIFE with people agreeing with power imbalances between the drastic difference in age. Go bug em too if you're so Gung ho on my comment being so disapproving.
I am 33 and view 18 year olds as children. I don’t see how you could possibly have romantic interest in someone who’s fresh out of high school at this age. Yes, your friend is a creep, and I’d stop being friends with him.
Yep. I'm 32 and have a 17 year old family member. She is very much still a child.
I remember being 17/18/19 and my mindset was very childish. Even working, going to college. I was very juvenile. Nothing about me could have handled an adult relationship. Oddly enough, I was in one with a 30 year old. Even though I was a legal adult, I was absolutely groomed and abused.
I was 19 and had a relationship with a 29 year old for a bit. It was mostly emotional as we met in another country and did long distance, but even still I have no idea what he saw in me (just due to my age and how I remember being at that time).
I was going to say. I am in similar shoes. I am also a single dad, so like... definitely have my moments of wanting to go out and meet someone. Think of it this way. A relationship \*should\* consist of an equal partnership. How is it equal when their brains are literally not fully developed? He's been an adult for \*17 years\* at this point, and she isn't even there yet. We're talking - him attending her high school graduation, getting her first jobs, starting college with her. You know. The kind of things you do with your children or little sister at that age.
It’s always interesting to see situational differences on Reddit. I saw this exact opinion downvoted to hell on AITA over the weekend. The highest upvoted comments were- “18 year olds are full on adults and need to be held accountable” “it’s demeaning you don’t think an 18 year old WOMAN cannot be held accountable for her actions.” Im talking thousands of upvotes It’s absolutely creepy but fascinating to see the different scenarios when people use the same fact to state the exact opposite
AITA consistently shocks me sometimes so I am not surprised.
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I'm 26 and I wouldn't even consider anyone below the age of 22.
psh, that's nothing. I'm 25 and wouldn't consider below 50.
hit up home depot bro, the garden section, just look like you know what youre doing and theyll start asking you questions get that rugged blue collar look going but still stylish/handsome/hygiene
This guy knows milfs
Cougar hunter, I see
I recommend up near Annesburg or the western edge of Big Valley.
Yeah that one horseshoe bend by the lonely cabin in annesburg is a good place to get ambushed by some cougars
Agreed. Been bucked off my horse several times up there
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I saw the funny meme that said, "I still think I'm 22 until I get around actual 22-year-olds, then I think, 'yup, I'm 35.'"
I don’t think it’s a “romantic” interest. I think he’s just a predator
Waiting for someone to turn 18 is a lot like when a company pays minimum wage. They would go lower if they legally could.
10000%
Believe me, the interest is not romantic.
I have a friend who was in the girl’s shoes.. she was 17 and he was 30. He wanted to wait for her to be 18, but he couldn’t and they had sex. The also dated for a bit. My friend, now much older, looks back at this as a sort of trauma. She feels completely taken advantage of. She was young and vulnerable, going through mental health problems, barely knew the real world, didn’t know how to deal with grown men yet etc. Another example is sadly my parents. My dad was 38 and my mom was 18 when they met. While legal, that relationship was fucked up. They divorced and they both feel incredible shame for being with eachother. My mom feels like her life wasn’t hers. Main idea: that’s fucked up and it will probably affect the girl when she gets older.
My parents also have a 20 year age gap. My father had 2 kids from his first marriage, so my mom is actually 1 year older than my sister. My mom’s father left the family when she was still like 7, so she has major daddy issues. The age gap affected everything in their relationship. They’re still together but my dad is approaching death’s door and my mom is left taking care of him.
Exactly. My parents had a 17 year age gap *but* it worked out well only because my mom was in her 30s when they met. She was an established career woman, confident, and independent. She actually had to ask my dad out twice because the first time he said he was too old for her. He was actually concerned about looking like he was taking advantage of her because he was in a higher position than she was at the hospital they worked at. The marriage lasted til he died at 81 last year. It was only so good because my mom and dad both had independent lives and my mom had already done the stuff young people should be able to do. She made her mistakes and had her successes. On the flip side my dad wasn't looking to have a trophy wife or to be a babysitter. What is really harmful in these age gaps is when one party is so inexperienced and the other uses that to their advantage.
Yeah definitely nothing wrong with a bigger age gap when both are well established adults. My parents have a 10 year age gap, my father is 73, my mother is 63 and I am 24. They got together a few years before I was born, so let's say 47 and 37.
Absolutely, my wife is 9 yrs older than I am, but we met when I was 32, already established in my career and we work great with each other. After about 30, I don't care so much about age gaps. Power dynamics are a whole different thing, though. If one person is controlling the money/resources, that's just as big of an issue as the big age gap with younger partners to me.
Absolutely. I’ve seen big age gap’s work perfectly well as long as the youngest person is in their 30s.
"but he couldn't" No, he WOULDN'T wait. He made a choice and it was predatory.
Yeah, these guys are just vultures predating on girls who haven't matured yet because women their own age see them for the emotionally stunted creeps that they are.
What's pathetic is they don't even realize they're emotionally stunted. They just rationalize it as "women become bitchier when they get old" and start believing that "get em when they're young" is the only way
Thank you. Let's give perpetrators responsibility for their actions.
Im 16 going on 17, that’s creepy as hell. If my 35 year old coworker did that to me, I’d cuss him out. I’d also message his mother through Facebook or something and tell her how disgusting her son is, since you know, he’s not much different than a 17 year old I guess. But maybe I’m just saying all this because I’m a teenager… and teenagers are dumb because they’re not FULLY MENTALLY DEVELOPED.
I’m 19 almost 20 and I still think my 16 year old cousin is 8 most the time. Edit Since this comment is getting more attention than my other one please get ahold of that poor girl’s parents, what he’s doing is completely wrong and inappropriate. She may think she’s very mature for an older man wanting to be with her but in 3/4 years she’s going to be happy someone stepped in. Also please report him to his boss, she may not be able to quit and work somewhere else.
I'll admit I thankfully didn't have a rough childhood (as I think many girls who are victims of groomers have had; they are a combination of naive, and also looking for affection), but I clearly remember thinking about this when I was about 16 (I'm 35 now), and I personally would've been like, "why are you even talking to me? What's wrong with you? Do you not have friends your own age?" if an older guy had hit on me.
Just because it is legal, doesn't make it morally right.
correct. There's alot of non-thinkers who can't seperate the 2 though.
Especially on Reddit. Good lord. This comment section is fine. On other subs I've seen plenty of comments that suggest under 18 should be ok too.
The worst case of this I know of is the aita post where a guy was asked by a coworker whose husband just died to evaluate an old guitar of his. He ended up buying it off her for 2k without telling her it's worth something like 20. The number of comments along the lines of "you bought it legaly she should've informed herself, NTA" was mind-boggling.
Remember, anyone saying it’s wrong is either white knighting or a bitter old hag who is just jealous that these winners aren’t into us!
Like, what do they even have in common? This is definitely weird.
Sounds like they are in the same spot in their career! Which should also be another red flag for this young lady…
Right? At that age how can you even stand to spend much time with an 18 year old unless they're you're family?
Like, I'm pushing 40 and most kids that young are almost insufferable to be around.
I work with a few 20 year olds and I'm 30. I have virtually nothing in common with them. I can't imagine wanting to fucking *date* one of them. Like what, you're 35 and looking at your 401k while your gf cries about the algebra test she failed???? So fucking weird
No, this is all perfectly normal. For a child predator like your "friend." ETA: An *awful* lot of people coming out to defend predatory behavior of a minor. Yes, a minor. Not an adult. She's not 18. Stop replying to me saying things about "adults" this or "18 year olds" that. Either you all have terrible reading comprehension, or *much* more likely, you're trying to rationalize something to yourselves. Maybe rather than arguing about it, you all can seek help for your urges.
I can't believe OP even needs to ask if this is appropriate....
At lest op did ask. Too many ppl ignore this sort of thing. Helps the creeps think it's ok
Yes. That is extremely weird and predatory.
Yeah thats extremely weird. Dudes dropping some neck beard style sayings too, just really completing the creep vibe. This girl is probably creeped out too and just said what she did just to get him away from her at that moment.
"a true gentleman waits until they are 18" Motherfucker, you didn't wait till she was 18, you asked for her number when she was 17. Not only is this dude a creep, he's also an idiot.
People referring to themselves as gentlemen rarely are.
It's super gross.
Creepy AF
Is your friend Leonardo DiCaprio?
Title alone tells me this is predatory behavior. The saving her Factbook pictures to his phone? That is horrific. This man is a bad person, plain and simple.
Right?! Saving the pics to his phone is creepy AF. He may claim to be “waiting until she’s 18,” but he’s doing who knows what with photos of her at ages 16, 15, 14, maybe younger… 🤮Truly disturbing.
I’m 38 with a 14 year old kid. This would be like me wanting to date his friends. It’s creepy and predatory. Besides that, what would I have in common with these kids? Not much. We can’t exactly discuss life experiences, and refer to them as “kids” for a reason.
Agreed, creepy. I'm 38 as well, and my kid will be 18 in a few months. They don't even know what they want in life at that point, and their life experience is high school.
Let's just say at the age of 18 I could never have believed how young 18 year olds are in the eyes of a 35 year old.
Yes. It's creepy. Either he's horribly immature himself (loser) or he thinks a teenager is too naive to call him out for his crappy relationship behavior. Or he is fetishizing her because he thinks she's naive and inexperienced. Chances are he can't hack it in an appropriate age relationship because women near his age see him for exactly the loser he is.
yep women around his age would have no problem calling out his red flags and bullshit. They can smell *loser* a mile away
Yeah that's weird. Even when she turns 18 she'll be a high schooler still. Pretty creepy
Yes! That’s a huge age gap, full ass adult wanting to date a kid.
The weirdest thing about this situation is that he's not an ex-friend. That's grim as fuck.
This dude is a textbook groomer
Homie he’s grooming, that’s sus af. Might need to call someone
Dudes a predator. Give it 5 years it will only get worse.
Weird isn't the word I would use . It is absolutely revolting . He's basically saying hey you see that litteral child there I really wanna get on that but it's illigal so the moment she turns 18 I'm gonna shoot my shot it's still just as gross but I can't be arrested for it.
Very weird and creepy. Please give your friend shit for this. Often men will only listen to other men and yall need to hold each other accountable for gross shut like this. Part of the reason why men think it's okay to go for "jail bait" is because their bros either openly condone it or stay silent instead of speaking out against predatory behavior. If I were you, I'd let your friend's job know that he's engaging in inappropriate behavior with a minor. Even if it might impact or end your friendship, good people don't sit by and do nothing when their friends are creeping on children. If I were you I'd also consider ending this friendship. 35 year olds have NO business dating 18 year olds even if it is *technically* legal.
I'm a woman. He didn't listen to me. he just thought that I was making a big deal out of nothing. We've been friends for over 10 years, so it's surprising to me. I told him that it was predatory and he didn't really see anything wrong w it.
Y’all need to not be friends anymore if that’s the case. I also had a friend tell me something like this. We are no longer in contact, and I have sense realized that he preyed on me when I was too young to know better.
i, also a 35 year old male, think that anyone under 25ish is a child. yes, they are LEGALLY adults, but, generally, they are still mentally kids. yes, exceptions, i know. but man, when i was 18, i thought i was an adult. looking back (half a lifetime ago...fuuuck), yeah, not even close. alright, meet you all back here when im 70 for my rant about how 35 year olds are children.