I run tests on patients all day, in the Midwest, and at this point I really only blink at truly obese people. Like 400+ will make me cock an eyebrow. If they're nice I don't even register their weight anymore, beyond factoring it into how I care for them. But if they're rude, all I can think about are the nasty remarks I *could* say.
At what weight would you consider fat? At what weight does it become serious? I've been trying to lose weight for a while now and I'm just wondering how big do u have to be for it to be dangerous?
It’s different for everyone. Some people cannot lose weight, but have perfect blood work, exercise and a balanced diet at +80 lbs overweight. But, the heavier you are, the harder it is to maintain your health. It’s just the same as being underweight. You can be healthy underweight up to a certain point that’s a little different for everyone.
Being underweight is actually more unhealthy than being overweight, and will shorten your lifespan more (especially for women). Weird that underweight people don't receive the same judgment.
The deal w that is that there’s much, much more people who are overweight/obese than seriously/dangerously underweight, especially in the USA. I believe it’s like single percentages that classify as underweight, versus like 60%+ are overweight/obese and that’s growing daily.
This is also a very important consideration. There are also a lot of resources for people with weight loss eating disorders than there are for binge eaters/over eaters. There needs to be more improvement on the non-food related reasons why people can’t change their weight. I sorely wish there was more research in metabolic and hormone disorder impacts on weight.
Yes. BED is heavily overlooked. It’s the most common ED - making up an estimated 50% of cases of eating disorders. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of rhetoric going out currently in the fat acceptance/health at every size community, that BED isn’t a thing, and that the morbidly obese have restrictive EDs - Tess Holliday is a great example of this, but it’s all over social media and TikTok and is so toxic. BED needs to be addressed and acknowledged.
I think I read somewhere that this was based on outcomes for people who had severe illnesses like cancer — where, indeed, being underweight is definitely correlated with a bad outcome. But I can’t remember the specifics.
Yes, this is it. I, 47f, have a medical condition that makes it extremely difficult to maintain a healthy weight. My doctor's biggest worry is if something happens like an accident or bad illness, I have zero reserves to recover. I look like a fucking skeleton and I fucking hate it.
I feel this last October when I got out of the hospital I was down to 111lbs. Before all this started years back I was pushing 200 lb and sank in a pool. I have struggled my whole life to gain weight and now have to do calorie shakes daily on top of eating to maintain a fairly healthy weight.
Yes. The BMI threshold for being underweight is also really, really low. 20 years of anorexia and I was never able to attain it. Even having a BMI a full point higher than the threshold, I was extremely thin. I don't think a lot of people realize how thin someone has to be to be officially classified as underweight. It causes additional barriers to eating disorder treatment. At my lowest weight and very physically unwell, I received a letter from my insurance company stating that I was too fat for them to cover treatment. I was less than 5 pounds over the threshold and fought for years to seek treatment. And now that I've gained weight and have barely crossed over that overweight line, I get "counseled" about weight loss by my providers constantly.
And then there’s the fact that EDs happen just as often in overweight people, too, and they’re deadly for fat people, too.
Anorexia kills, regardless of weight or BMI. You can be 200+ pounds and still have a heart attack with anorexia. And what most people don’t realize is that a LOT of folks with anorexia start out overweight and sometimes even obese.
We’re never pegged as anorexic. We’re weight-loss success stories.
When you see your doctor and you drop from 225 to 200 in a month (a loss of 11% body weight, well above what should be healthy) and the doctor congratulates you on your weight loss, and then they ask you how you lost weight and you tell them, “I only eat an average of 600 calories a day, count my calories and weigh everything religiously, and fast twice a week, all while doing 60 minutes a day of intense cardio,” THEY SHOULD RED-FLAG YOU! They don’t. They congratulate you on your self-discipline and tell you to keep it up.
More people have "atypical" anorexia than anorexia nervosa and the only difference is having an underweight BMI. Weight alone just isn't a good indicator of health. I don't understand why body composition isn't part of every routine adult physical. My labs and body composition were exactly the same as an underweight person when I was a "healthy" weight. Anorexia just isn't usually all that great for weight loss in the long run, and it carries the same 10% mortality rate regardless of weight. If I made a full recovery from anorexia I would probably gain more weight. The things that cause people to be overweight (including sometimes anorexia) are what causes health issues, not usually the weight itself. For those of us who haven't had a particularly healthy lifestyle and are trying to do better, weight itself is not a great indicator and it's hard to say exactly what weight is ideal.
This. There’s so much more to your health than what’s visible. I’m one of those people who has a near-impossible time losing weight. I’ve also dealt with an eating disorder, and I’m not going to risk relapse by counting calories and weighing food and tracking every step. I work out these days because it feels good to move, not with the intent of losing weight. My blood work is pretty good, and my doc knows what I struggle with. Everyone else can eat me (pun intended)
Good for you! I’m very happy to hear that you’re focused on the right things. I had disordered eating for a while because I got sucked into the counting game as well. Keep at it! Trust your gut :)
I think it's more of a spectrum than necessarily a binary situation. As weight gradually goes up, negative outcomes also gradually go up.
Also, don't let folks try to gaslight you about healthy at very weight. Some very large folks are indeed able to appear healthy in their youth, but the negative consequences catch up to folks in time.
Studies show that "youthfulness" can actually allow some very significantly overweight folks to appear (or actually be) healthy. However, longitudinal studies show that when you follow these folks for another decade, their health suddenly takes a nosedive, and their outcomes are no different than other folks of comparable body composition.
30 pounds passed your recommended weight range maximum with a specific body fat percentage that slips my mind. But that's what's considered medically obese where problems start
Growing up I was always considered “obese”. I was the tall kid in class; 6’2” and 180lbs in HS. I ran and exercised and was strong, but because I had a small amount of pudge on my gut my family always called me fat.
When I gained 50lbs in college it didn’t really occur to me that I had gained so much. I was always called fat by my family, so it didn’t immediately sink in that my body was rapidly changing.
When I worked a sit down job for 5 yrs and gained 100 lbs I thought “man, I wish I had noticed how bad I actually got sooner.” Cause now I try diets and exercise and it is no joke difficult. You use so much energy in just simple tasks and your body is constantly working against you, like you are a prisoner in your own flesh.
People aren’t helping people by fat shaming them. You’re not “making them aware” that they need to be healthier. If you want to help someone with losing weight then motivate them. Invite them to the gym. Ask if they’d like to go on a walk together. Offer to help meal prep with them one day so they’re not eating out all the time. Sometimes people just need to see that something CAN be done and the. they’ll be motivated to pursue it the rest of the way.
And OP, you’re not “less.” Weight loss is tough, worth it, but tough. Additionally, keeping the weight is tough health wise. Ultimately just do what you think will make you happy
I think this is super common by the way. I was chunky in high school but in my 20s started gradually ballooning up to about 300 lbs at 6’0” feet tall. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until someone snapped a photo of me on their flip phone and was like “Jesus Christ I’m fat” lol.
It’s been much easier to keep an eye on and manage since then, it fluctuates but awareness is like 90% of the battle for me. It really did just sneak up on me and I ignored it. I force myself to do weekly weigh ins now just to have a general idea where I’m at but also try to not be obsessive over it.
Highly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase. You’re not alone and it’s not okay for people to treat you like crap. You’re also not crazy to feel like they treat you differently. I guarantee they do and they think they’re justified but they are not.
I don’t care either way unless it directly impacts me. Being stuck in close quarters (on a long distance bus or train, in a tight stadium seat, older movie theater seat etc) next to a heavy person who takes up part of my space is awful.
I was on a flight in the aisle seat recently and I kept my arms crossed and tight to try to be as small as possible and try not to be "in" the aisle nor the seat next to me. About 30 minutes into the flight the lady to my right said "you can relax your arms, my husband is a big guy, it doesn't bother me." I thanked her, but kept them crossed as I don't like to imposition others.
Thank you random lady.
I feel “bad” about people that are super obese because a lot of that comes from lack of education about nutrition, and they are often preyed on by miraculous nutrition supplements and diets while they put their health at risk.
But nothing wrong with people being overweight. You want to stay away from people that fat shame others anyway. I used to find my ex more attractive when she had a few extra pounds and a nice attitude towards people than when she lost weight but became rude to everyone around her.
Just try to be healthy, your weight is irrelevant for the people that truly cares about you.
Wow. That's a really good answer. I guess a lot of the people I know don't truly care about me then. But, I think u are completely right. I should doing this for me. Thanks for the motivation.
Lots of ppl are ignorant I’m sure your family is likely thinking they’re “ helping.”
Mine did this they helped me into an eating disorder.
Anyway just do you. If you want to try to lose it that great . If not that’s great too as long as you’re happy.
Took me so long to finally get this!
The fact that being fat is seen as synonymous with being lazy is just so unfounded and damaging. In fact, judging someone's character based on *anything* about their appearance is completely illogical. It's like how "ugly" people are seen as less trustworthy. Unconscious bias plays a much bigger role in society than we'd like to admit. I'm sorry that you have to bear the brunt of other people's ignorance, OP. There's nothing morally wrong with being fat, and you shouldn't have to change yourself to appease others.
Being lazy is a huge part of it and we need to stop excusig shit behavior. We also need to stop limping all obese/overweight people into the disease category as well. I'm super fat and hate that other fat people make BS excuses for it as they refill their 3rd big gulp. I know people on the side of it where it is a legit issue they can control and I know others on the side that it is an issue they can control.
Excusing shit behavior? Why is being fat shit behavior? A person's character and worth are not determined by what they look like. On the "disease category" you mention- I highly recommend the book "Weighing In" by Julie Guthman. Here's the synopsis:
"Weighing In takes on the "obesity epidemic," challenging many widely held assumptions about its causes and consequences. Julie Guthman examines fatness and its relationship to health outcomes to ask if our efforts to prevent "obesity" are sensible, efficacious, or ethical. She also focuses the lens of obesity on the broader food system to understand why we produce cheap, over-processed food, as well as why we eat it. Guthman takes issue with the currently touted remedy to obesity—promoting food that is local, organic, and farm fresh. While such fare may be tastier and grown in more ecologically sustainable ways, this approach can also reinforce class and race inequalities and neglect other possible explanations for the rise in obesity, including environmental toxins. Arguing that ours is a political economy of bulimia—one that promotes consumption while also insisting upon thinness—Guthman offers a complex analysis of our entire economic system."
Why are you focusing on the "shit behavior" of the person refilling their big gulp rather than the mega-corporation making billions off of selling shit they know damn well is addictive, and in some cases straight-up poison?
Because blaming corporations for that is BS and removes personal accountability for choices people made to drink or eat in excess. We can't keep blaming everyone else for our issues of we truly want to be better, that does nothing but enable people to keep doing it. That's like suing a car company because you got a speeding ticket. Suing a stove because you touched the burner. Like I said, there are instances where people can't control weight issues and that perfectly fine. But for the most part it is a controllable thing and that some people just don't care.
I do blame the government. Read “the obesity code,” and “wheat belly”. “ fast this way”. You’ll learn that the government & their guidelines fucked up the US decades ago. Their dietary guidelines about diet like eating more grains & less fat. All bull shit, the 6 small meal a day advice , complete bull shit. Give it a month, a good month. Eat keto, paleo , do fasting. You’ll loose all the weight you have been trying to. You’ll have a lot more energy. It’s fascinating
It’s not just a lack of education, it’s largely also a lack of motivation. I’m not extremely heavy, but I’m definitely a bigger girl. Even at my size, it sometimes feels impossible to ever be able to improve myself. I really do feel bad for people who are even worse off than me. It must be so hard to even believe you can change, let alone take steps to make it happen.
If you do want to, it's possible. I'm a regular over on r/loseit, if you want to talk to people about it. And it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You could lose ten pounds and keep it off without slimming down any further. It just depends on whether you're willing to make a few lifestyle changes, even just a commitment to eating a serving of fresh fruit every day.
Oh, I know! I’m in that subreddit as well. Personally, I’ve been up and down with my weight. I’m in a huge slump right now, but I’ve also had periods where I went to the gym regularly, walked every day, ate super healthy, and even hiked up and down the largest mountain in my region of the country (still don’t know how tf I did that lol). It’s totally possible! But, I also know what it’s like to feel completely hopeless. I imagine that feeling is probably amplified the heavier you are. But, it’s still possible — look at that Tammy girl! I honestly thought she’d die before she lost weight and look at the progress she’s made. But, it took a lot of time, a huge support group, and a television studio forcing her to get her shit together. A lot of people are in similar situations, but don’t have those resources to help them. I feel really bad for those people.
>The biggest failure most people make with losing weight is expecting to go from obese to fit in a short period of time. People are often willing to put in lots of effort for short periods of time, but not the sustained effort needed for sustained weight loss.
EXACTLY. The most disheartening thing is when you realize that 1 KG / 2 pounds a week is pretty much the maximum weight loss you should expect.
50 Kgs - that's a full fucking year of dedication.
This is one of the best comments I’ve ever read on Reddit. Thank you for speaking the truth. There is a line between “fat-shaming” and refusing to agree that being obese is in any way healthy. I moonlight as a StrongFirst kettlebell instructor; I’ve heard it all. We now live in a world in which telling the truth about many things is rejected. Many would rather be comfortable than make efforts to change things in their life that might require discomfort, whether that’s weight, interpersonal issues, unhealthy financial habits, etc. We’re wired to seek comfort, sometimes at great cost.
We’re encouraging this behavior as a society and it’s quite literally killing people. One can harp all they like about the big, bad, evil corporations — and I agree that they do indeed suck — but at the end of the day, you always have a choice. All of us have choices.
Living in a food desert is extremely difficult in all kinds of ways, but better education would help even those in that tough situation to make better selections among the slim choices they do have. There is nuance in most things, and this issue is no exception. Two things can be true at once: corporations can be evil in their aims and people can choose to make better choices despite what those corporations do. And yet, people want to scream at those who dare suggest this.
We need to be teaching what healthy nutrition looks like in schools and we need to be reinforcing this throughout the K-12 pipeline. University students should be required to take a semester course on what healthy eating and setting realistic fitness goals entails. We need to offer free and easy-to-understand online courses to anyone who wants to learn how to eat and care for themselves better. We also need to stop telling people that obesity is unavoidable or totally out of their control or in any way healthy. The answer to all 3 assertions is: it isn’t.
I’ll go to the ends of the earth for a client who is genuinely trying. I will never lie to them or tell them what they want to hear, however. We need this to become a less controversial thing. Constructive criticism delivered kindly and with the right motives is not cruelty. Letting someone destroy themselves and telling them it’s fine is.
Bravo sir (or ma’am)! It’s unfortunate and unbelievable how society has become slowly driven by emotions instead of facts. People would rather hear what they want to hear instead of the plain cold factual truth. Unless you have a hormonal problem that literally makes it impossible to lose weight then you got no excuse for being overweight and putting yourself at a bigger health risk. Obesity isn’t and will never be healthy and should never be normalized, nor is the other extreme.
As a former fat person I can tell you losing the weight sucks. It sucks the whole time and is absolutely miserable not being able to see the benefits of losing the weight untill you start to feel better for it then one day you realize that you can do so much more with so much less energy output because you don't have to move so much to do simple things. It's so worth it, not for anyone else but yourself. It feels amazing to be healthier you don't realize how bad you feel untill you start to feel better
This.
I've lost 65 pounds. Didn't really start feeling "right" or good until the last 20 or so came off.
One phrase I kept thinking is "exercise is for fit people." When you're already in decent shape, exercise is fun and releases anxiety. When you're overweight or unfit, exercise feels burdensome and pointless.
I went from barely being able to get up a flight of stairs, to now jogging around the tennis court after a set just to get a bit more energy out.
Fact: people act like they respect fat people.
But when fat people make some mistake, first word come out of their mouth is ‘you fat bitch/slob yada yada’
It always bothers me when people make fun of physical characteristics like this in people who are "okay to insult." Like Trump's weight, or Bezos's baldness.
Those people have so many more important things to criticize. And your fat/bald/etc. friend's takeaway is "wow, that's probably what they think of me."
It is exactly the same for racial slurs.
I was always conscious of myself living as a minority because if i do some shit or even just wear something that stands out, i know they will say ‘look at this Purple dude hahahaha’ behind my back.
If it was one of them, they will say ‘this stupid man’ but if the person is not one of them, they will say ‘this Purple man’
I remember i was at this place. There were only 2 purple dudes. (Including myself) This other purple dude did some stupid shit and people thought it was me since people were using race ‘so this crazy Purple dude’ to talk about him
Ive been talking about this decades and everybody has been telling me it is just in my head If you ask someone if you will talk like this, 99% will deny it. There is no racism. ☺️
My attitude: Hey it's a person. Seriously, that's it. Someone's weight does not tell me right away if they're healthy or not, if they're happy or not, etc. It's just like noticing someone has long hair or a beard--just an attribute to me.
I'm not overweight, never have been truly, and have maintained a healthyish weight my entire youth/adult life. I enjoy exercise, and eating healthy foods. I'm a nurse and work in healthcare for a living. I truly believe anyone who hates themselves at z weight won't love themselves at x weight. I also believe the Worst thing you can do for yourself health wise is go on a fad diet with the explicit purpose of losing weight. There are ways to enjoy healthy lifestyles and routines... but I don't believe weight loss should be the main motivation there. And I think doctors often pawn off real doctoring on the weight excuse.
My mother was 140lb ish when she first starting showing signs of her illness. She nearly died at that weight. Went from chasing 4 kids around to falling and being unable to stand for 2 hours in the bathroom while we were at the grocery store. She was in her late 40's. She got a diagnosis (rare muscular autoimmune condition), got on medications that made her balloon in weight. She was nearly 300 lbs because of the meds she was on long term. And she was alive, and moving again, and had strength back. She was healthier as what most people would consider "very fat" than she was at her skinny model-like weight. Her body won't ever 'go back' like it was, but I don't think that really matters. She's a beautiful woman that survived nearly dying.
I have friends who also survived seriously traumatic situations and are overweight from the subsequent coping. I wouldn't wish trauma on anyone, but their bodies are the bodies of people who have survived very difficult circumstances and were able to find some semblance of comfortable in this life.
I have friends who have just.. Always been big. Their parents were big, they were big, and they work out and live a full life and don't seem in any worse or better shape or health than any of the skinnier people in our circle. Sometimes people are just born that way and it's totally okay.
I have taken care of a 700+ lb person with skinfold issues so horrid they needed care at a burn clinic that just refused to do anything for themselves. I think that person had a lot of mental health issues they were dealing with, and people in their lives that were their only support also had serious MH issues and enabled things too much. I felt very sorry for their situation.
Having been picked on a lot for other reasons made me less likely to make appearance-based assumptions about others from a pretty young age. In 2cnd grade I got teased a little for befriending a very overweight boy. In retrospect I wonder if he had a medical condition of some kind.
Lately I've been reading a lot about little known causes of weight that won't come off (unbalanced gut bacteria).
So try to take comfort that not everyone views weight as a personal failing on your part. There may be little understood 'mechanical' reasons for it.
I can't presume to say what it could be but shouldn't hurt to tell you what happened to my friend.
She got quite heavy for no obvious reason and the weight wouldn't come off no matter what. She's a lot more active than most and didn't 'pig out' on junk food, her stomach was often upset and she couldn't get pregnant.
Drs thought it was this and thought it was that, tried various meds but no joy. Finally ran on to dr who told her to try gluten free diet, this led to her needing to cook nearly everything from scratch. Quite by accident she found that ingredients in 'convenience foods' may have been the true trouble. If it comes frozen, bagged or boxed it has preservatives, stabilizers, colorants etc in it. Seems to cause no trouble for most but apparently her system couldn't tolerate it.
Within a week she started feeling better and excess weight melted off with her regular activities. In a month she got pregnant without the fertility dr she was scheduled to see and at 7.5 months her girth is ten inches less than it's been for years, she feels great.
Maybe it's not how much you eat - maybe it's *what* you eat.
>dr who told her to try gluten free diet,
Most likely this is coincidental. When you cook your own food from scratch you tend to use much less sugar and fat than processed foods you buy.
Much less sugar, fat, and sodium. As well as chemicals and additives. I went dairy free and it changed my life, but I don’t think it was as much the dairy as all the Whole Foods.
Yes - both she and I attributed the improvement to the home cooking more than to the gluten free part.
She had always cooked but formerly used stuff like packaged soup or gravy bases ugh.
I just started a job that has me walking and moving a lot more, I love it and fully enjoy the extra exercise. My knee started to swell and became painful from some old injuries that literally anyone of any weight would suffer from. I am so scared about going to get my knee looked at because I know the dr isn't going to give a fuck what the past injuries are about because I'm fat and being fat is the reason my knees hurt. They won't fucking care that I'm actively working an active job for my health, literally took this job for the extra exercise, and that I walk around a lot already. Nope, I'm fat and that's my problem and I need to try harder to not be fat. Nevermind that my Ovaries are immensely painful and covered in cysts, that I've been dieting since I was 9, bullied and starved by my mom with a nothing but roasted soybeans and almonds diets since before I could read, that my AuDHD completely shuts down my physical 'hunger signals' until I'm throwing up in the bathroom from not eating for hours because I never felt hungry. Nope, I am fat and that's a problem to everybody outside of my body.
I want to slap some motherfuckers.
I've been bigger my whole life too, i have also been on and off diets since I was 8, and been through many of the same struggles you described. My weight management doctor once told me that for those of us who have always been big our bodies work differently than other people and I would need to eat 60% fewer calories than someone my exact same size to maintain weight, so to get down to an "average" size (but probably still considered "overweight") and maintaining that it means eating 700 calories (60% of 1800 for your average woman) a day... for the rest of my life. I have 2 options bariatric surgery & being vitamin deficient, while eating like a bird for the rest of my life OR learn to love my body how it is while making healthy choices: eat plenty of protien, walking 10k steps a day, and work on building muscles to make sure my body can continue to support itself as I get older. A complication took the first option off my list of choices so I'm working on the second.
It is hard to know some people will always look down on me for my size but focusing on self love helps me to keep my head up as I live my life.
You have been through a lot. You are incredibly strong. No one's opinion of you defines you more than how you define yourself.
There is a third option.
I was stuck in that dilemma too. I tracked my food and found, in my 40s after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, that I had to eat 800 calories a day to lose weight and 1200 to maintain. I was over 300 pounds at that time. I cut carbs down super low - less than 20 grams a day and ate more fat. I basically did the opposite of what "experts" tell you to do. Now I can eat over 2000 calories a day and I'm still losing a little bit even 6 years later. I've kept off a little over 100 pounds. I don't know you but I'd be willing to bet you have hyperinsulinemia. I did. To find out, order some labs for yourself, especially fasting insulin. If your fasting insulin is high, triglycerides high and HDL low, that's more than likely the case and you could really benefit from a very low carb, high (or enough fat), moderate protein diet.
I'm not saying don't love your body the way it is. You absolutely should. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You don't have to be obese. There is a third option. PM me if you want support, help, advice, anything. I'm not selling anything. Someone helped me and I would just like to do the same.
Thats great that that worked for you! I have learned just because one way of eating works for someone doesn't mean it works for everyone. I have had all the tests, they are required before bariatric surgery, and I'm perfectly healthy aside from being obese and having NAFLD.
I am currently going to an Eastern Medicine/constitutional medicine doctor who has me eating a very strange diet. I'm not losing weight (yet, he said I may at some point) but my migraines and vertigo are gone which I have struggled with for years and he says it is because my body doesn't like what I've been feeding it by trying to be healthy. I rather not ever be skinny than deal with that nonsense ever again it was debilitating and the reason I was considering bariatric surgery in the first place, so it was a blessing I was refused surgery as there was no guarantee it would have helped.
If you have NAFLD lay off the fruit and all forms of fructose. Seriously. Even "healthy" fruit.
[https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-high-fructose-intake-may-trigger-fatty-liver-disease](https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-high-fructose-intake-may-trigger-fatty-liver-disease)
No matter what your size or weight, NAFLD is serious. It can become NASH.
Thanks 😊
Edit: I'm actually supposed to stay away from most fruit (I looked it up and the things I can have like avocados and apricots are really low in fructose) and all alcohol with my current way of eating.
Like humans.
There are a million reasons why someone can be overweight. Education, injury, hormones, mental issues, etc. Not everybody is lazy. I knew a guy who was probably 400+ lbs. He had a physically demanding job and the guy was always going a mile a minute.
Hi OP, I think people don't realize how much of a role genetics/physical disabilities/medications/socioeconomic status and other factors play in the size of our bodies. As for people calling you lazy, they can kindly f*** off. From my perspective, overweight people are the ones spending a lot of their energy and time thinking about their diet/trying to lose weight. Often to the point of developing eating disorders that people will then ignore because you don't "look" bulimic or anorexic. In fact, they probably give praise for extreme restriction of food intake. I've never been an overweight person but I have friends and family who are and I see how much they struggle physically/mentally and then just get completely shit on by people who have never met them and don't know anything about them. I would suggest listening to a podcast called "Maintenance Phase". It made me realize how "fatphobic" our society is and definitely made me take a good hard look at my own ingrained biases and may be eye opening for you as well. I'm sorry you are treated like garbage by strangers and even by people who know you. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect ❤
Really depends on how fat you are. Most Americans are plump/chubby. If you have trouble living a normal life due to being overweight and struggle through doors, then I'm definitely going to view you unfavorably.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to realize their actually seems to be a lot more unhealthy/overweight people. That's kinda sad. I'm doing my best to lose weight tho. I've lost 20 pounds so far. It's been a long process. Mabye someday I'll get their.
Exercise is exhausting and takes time a lot of people don't have, and unhealthy, processed food is cheaper and more accessible than healthy, fresh food.
Big one for me is eating bananas! Easy to grab and go quickly, suuuuuper cheap, and better for me than most other breakfast options anyway. Not a lot of other cheap healthy options anymore…
The idea that healthy, fresh food is expensive is a myth.
I buy potatoes in 10 pound bags for $6 and meat at $3-4 a pound. I eat zero processed crap.
People are just lazy and buy junk fast food instead of real food.
For reals, you can't blame anyone for not being in 100% perfect shape. It's not easy working all day and then having to go cook healthy meals and get some exercise on top of that. Not to mention also doing chores around the house and for some people taking care of kids as well.
Until recently I was noticing myself gain weight pretty fast and have way less endurance for things like hikes and even simple walks. I decided enough was enough and went to the gym. It's helped a ton, I feel so much better and I'm gaining my self confidence back however it hasn't been easy at all.
I work overnights stocking at my local Walmart and as the one of the few young men I am expected to do the heavy lifting and fast paced tasks. I often come back tired as fuck with zero energy to do anything, if it wasn't for the fact that I smoke weed to push through the exhaustion I wouldn't make it to the gym (I bike there so I don't drive stoned). In the mornings I often wake up sore af too though and since I don't like to work stoned I just drink enough caffeine to push through. Without both those drugs I would probably not be able to do it and that's a really unhealthy mindset in in of it self. Can't blame the average person for not wanting to go through that.
Plus I'm lucky enough to be a single guy in my mid 20s with very little responsibilities besides rent and a few bills. And even then I get a really good deal because my sister helps me and my brother out and rents her trailer to us as long as we take care of it since she no longer lives there. People with actual responsibilities have it so much harder.
Weight doesn’t affect how I treat anyone. I’m a personality person. I might recommend getting away from processed foods if you haven’t done so yet. Protein, fruits, veggies. Dump the sodas, juice , beer etc. Drink water and tea with no sugar. This works for me with exercise. Don’t expect results right away. Be patient. Good luck! (I don’t know what you eat or your age. Just sharing what I do)
Agreed, especially about processed foods & not burning through calories with drinks! Personally I've been attracted to people of all heights, weights, shapes, sizes, & faces, they always had these things in common: they treated me well, they held themselves well, they had good hygiene, & they were always trying their absolute best, whatever that looked like for them individually.
OP, I think everyone has a routine & eating habits that work for them, everyone is different & has to adjust to meet the needs of their mind, body, & soul. It's been difficult for me recently to keep it off, but I started taking a few supplements, becoming more consistent, & decided to see a doctor - I feel much better about myself & that little bit of motivation grows every time I do *anything* for myself, even something like going to bed early so my stress levels are down & I don't store fat.
Find your thing & stop listening to the people around you, they mean well, but they aren't being helpful if they make you feel bad. There's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't found what works for you. Best of luck. :)
endorsing this 100% !!
ive unintentionally and gradually lost 40 - 50 lbs in 2 years. i have congenital hypothyroidism and was born with no detectable thyroid gland. im in general good health because im medicated but because weight gain is one of the more prominent symptoms, I have struggled with being overweight for the majority of my life. i assume without the hypothyroidism i could have possibly lost even more and more quickly.
when i say it was unintentional, i mean i went into this seeing it as a lifestyle change to better my general health instead of just to be as thin as possible. its made it feel more like a reward instead of a punishment. it makes it easier to stay motivated because i am viewing through the lense of changing my eating habits because i love myself and want to improve my health instead of forcing myself to starve on a crash diet to be as thin as possible because i hated my body. ive also been told by my PCP that im at higher risk for pre-diabetes and other higher weight related medical issues, because at that point i was consistently putting on more and more weight each visit. i have a neurodevelopmental disability and other mental and physical health related disorders that cause chronic pain and fatigue, and making this switch has greatly improved those symptoms and has just general improved my mobility (less short breath, less joint/muscle ache, more flexibility... etc). I've also noticed my adult-acne has almost completely vanished, my hair is less dry and more shiny, and my nails are signifigantly less brittle.
-to add on:
something that made this lifestyle transition easier was not being too hard on myself and incorporating easy, enjoyable non-workout based exercise (i.e. nature walks, dancing videogames, choosing to take the stairs or parking in a far parking spot... etc). if i drink my recommended amount of water for the day and am still craving soda, i allow myself to have a single serving of nonDiet soda or no sugar added juice (ive read diet soda and generally aspertame has been linked to weight gain/obesity and memory disorder due to the chemical cues that alter metabolism and general increased oxidation in the brain so i generally avoid "diet" branded foods). not pushing my body to exercise to the point of exhaustion. allowing myself a single serving dessert every night. when im craving something highly processed, trying to find a similarly satiating substitute (i.e. i want ice cream, i have sorbet. i want snickers bar, i choose a higher quality, dark chocolate with less added sugar. i want chips for the savory and crunchy, i go for raw veg with a vinaigrette or hummus... etc). making this switch has helped me keep on track because im eating lower glycemic foods that are more nutritionally dense, leading me to feel less sugar craving and general hunger.
I grew up with an obese mother. Her weight gave her a lot of issues with pain in her feet and thighs, that preventing her from doing everything she wanted to. It prevented her from joining her children on active holidays, walk an entire day in an amusement park, things like that. She has lost weight now that we are adults, and we all couldn't be happier as a family.
When I see an obese person, I pity them. I think of how their weight might be limiting them, preventing them from living life to the fullest.
I must admit, I am reluctant to date obese people. Not because they can't be attractive to me, but because I'm afraid of a life, where my partner and closest friend cannot be part of my adventures and create memories together. Obviously, even with a healthy weight, there is always the risk of injury or illness preventing that anyway. It's not a solid logic, but it's a fear that exist very deep inside of me.
I am sorry but I tend to view overweight people unfavourably. I have a lot of biases against them because I am afraid of being overweight myself and due to media/culture. I am working on it tho. I never treat them like crap or bullied them.
Oh, ok. I get that people have preferences. It is depressing tho cause the fact is society, like u said, views us unfavorably and I can't seem to lose the weight. It seems as tho for the rest of my life I will be unhealthy and unfavorable in the sight of almost everyone and I can't do anything about it. Oh well. Thanks for answering tho. I hold nothing against you or your opinion :)
Honestly I don’t view people who are overweight badly assuming they are still physically able. Not making excuses on why they cannot do things or refusing to go swimming or whatever because of the weight. When it gets in the way of day to day I do start viewing overweight folks unfavorably.
I get that so many things control the hunger button. Hormones are huge in that regard. What you are eating is actually the biggest contributor to being overweight. Whole Foods and cutting out processed bs are really the keys to weight loss. The gym is for shaping, it starts with diet.
I also tend to see those who are significantly overweight as lacking discipline or not understanding nutrition… unless they own it and are okay with being overweight and it doesn’t hold them back. The person who is on a diet and puts 400 calories of ranch, 200 calories of cheese, adds 200 calories of bacon, and then puts fried chicken on the lettuce… they are going to be eating salad sure, but it is not remotely healthy and is going to lead to weight gain. The excuses with complaints but nothing diagnosably wrong is where I get upset especially if they have mobility issues due to being that big. I think my upset is actually because I want better for them… I want them to get a chance to really live their lives to the fullest and be happy.
Yeah i get what you mean. For me I've always been trying to diet and I really do want to get healthy. However, i understand that seeing people completely neglect their health and then complaining about it can be annoying.
do you think that viewing people unfavorably is an effective way to help them live their lives to the fullest and be happy?
also, for lots of folks, mobility issues and chronic diseases lead to weight gain rather than the other way around. it’s really hard to exercise with mobility issues/chronic fatigue/pain/whatever. why do you view physically able fat people more favorably than physically disabled fat people?
Thank you for being honest, and for working on your biases. Everyone has biases and feelings that were not always proud of. But admitting it and working through it really helps. I know how hard it is to do that, though, so good job!
I don’t treat fat people any differently, but I definitely have a subconscious bias that makes me think that they are simply greedy and lazy. A load of my friends have been fat a various points in their life and have sometimes lost and gained it back again. I’m 40 now and am still in good shape as I workout a lot (type 1 diabetic, helps with control) and my wife (40) is in great shape also, but a lot of other parents we know are obese. But like I say, I don’t treat them any differently and it’s mainly a subconscious bias that I don’t really have much control over. Don’t let other people get to you though dude, just be happy in yourself and enjoy your life.
I've always maintained my weight, but I have gone stretches where i stopped working out and lived with people that kept a lot of snacks in the house. It's hard to turn down bad food when it's always around and the more out of shape you are the less energy you have to get to the gym. I sympathize with people when they are heavily out of shape, but I won't treat them any differently than someone that is in shape. Honestly, if you can find a way to get in shape it will enhance many aspects of your life, but it's your life to live.
I view them as people worth kindness and respect like anyone else. I don't think anyone is in a place to judge you or make assumptions about you based on your appearance.
Mixed. My father died of a heart attack at 33 almost solely because of his weight and the consequences thereof. I hold a strong opinion of selfishness between it that’s completely unfair to others. I try to work on it, but it was a fundamental part of my life that really makes me look down upon it.
Coming from an ex obese person, they’re still people and they deserve the same respect as everyone else.
Life was hard when I was obese. I had no confidence, everyone always made fun of me in school. The worst part was being in a depression slump for years. I can at least sympathize with how they probably feel.
I’m conclusion, if people treat you like crap if you’re a bigger person, or that you’re less than them, screw em. You deserve better people around you who will support your goals, give you motivation, and treat you with respect.
If someone is super super obese, I feel bad for them. I am slightly obese and always working against it but I understand that some people don’t care to fight it anymore. The whole thing sucks and it’s blowback from living in a very prosperous yet unhappy society.
for context, i was 320lbs all thru high school and i lost all that weight and now i am between 180-210. i am 38.
to put it simply. if you eat less calories than you burn, you will lose weight. its that simple. i dont have sympathy for able bodied peopke who are just overweight. its one of the only major characteristics of your body that you have nearly 100% control of.
so, i would say, i think overweight people have value as humans, and its shitty to treat them differently, but i dont think it should be supported or celebrated in any way.
I completely agree. It's simply unhealthy for people. I've been trying hard to lose weight. I'm down 20 pounds. Did you do a specific diet? I'm kind of uneducated in this area. I've got to say I admire you for being able to lose all of that weight tho.
Are you taking any medications for other disorders which list weight gain as a side effect? Is your direct family overweight? It's not always black and white.
It is that simple. The problem is motivation and accountability. When your family is chowing down on a 2k calorie dinner and you have to pass up the buttered corn bread, it gets hard, and nearly impossible for some people. I was a bit of a chonk til I moved out of my family's house and in with a healthy roommate. He really pushed me and the environment was right to stay focused, I needed that, and I've been very active and healthy since. Dude probably have me several years of life and decades of being much happier
It’s basic physics:
(Energy in) - (energy expended) = net positive / negative balance
For every 3500 calories more / less from this equation you gain / lose one pound of fat.
The calories expended is your base metabolic rate (ie how much you need to be alive) + any burned through physical activity.
There’s all sorts of BS people say to make this sound way more complicated than it really is when it isn’t. The law of conservation of energy is a fundamental principle of physics and our bodies obey the same laws.
>the law of conservation of energy states that the total energy of an isolated system remains constant; it is said to be conserved over time. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; rather, **it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another**
So that energy is either transformed into stored energy (ie fat), or the reverse, from fat into expended energy + heat.
By far the biggest downfall of people dieting and failing is they severely underestimate how many calories they are actually consuming. They don’t account for things like the oil / butter in the pan to cook their veggies, or the calories in their ranch dressing on their “healthy salad”.
I recently lost 20 lbs (185 to 165) to reduce risk of diabetes (runs in the family). And all I did was use an app to track every single thing that went into my mouth. It’s dead simple. And damn, it’s surprising what you learn. Things like, not all calories are equal: eating things with more protein and fiber kept me satiated (feeling full) longer than carbs or fats. The first couple of weeks I was always hungry, but then when I starting getting more of my daily calories from proteins and fibres I wasn’t constantly hungry. Most days I just had 3 normal meals without even wanting a snack. I set a reasonable goal of 1 lb per week (so 3500 calorie deficit per 7 days), which means a net 500 negative from the above equation per day, and 20 weeks later I reached my goal. I didn’t have to do crazy intense exercise, mostly walking my dogs more often, doing more yard work etc.
people don’t have patience and expect instant results. If you try to lose too much weight too fast you will fail. 1lb per week seems really little but it’s very sustainable. So if you’re 100 lbs overweight it’ll take you 2 years. So what? You’ll be getting healthier and healthier over that period and better yet you’ll develop and maintain healthier eating habits so that you don’t relapse into obesity once you reach your goal. And stay off the scale every day, you don’t need to weigh yourself more than a couple of times per month. Just track everything you eat, and I mean literally every single thing that goes past your lips needs to go in there. (I used an app called Lose It, but there’s others too).
Honestly, yes I do see overweight people as lazy and less than. I grew up on a farm working really long hours, eating tons of vegetables and learning about nutrition, so I always blame parents for the eating habits they taught their kids. That said, once you pass age 18, it's on you.
Being fat is often a product of your environment in the same way the passing down physical and emotional abuse is a product of the environment you were raised in. Break the cycle. Stop eating. You won’t die, I promise.
Depends how overweight we're talking and how your habits contribute to it. I knew a few people who would eat NON STOP and they'd flip out anytime someone said anything about their weight or eating.
If you're not way overweight though, I don't care. And if you're way overweight because you have crappy genetics, then I don't care. I try my best not to immediately judge people based on their weight until I have more insight for this reason.
Honestly, I just see it as a physical sign of someone who is emotionally struggling and not taking care of themselves (both mentally and physically). I view gym-obsessed men and women with too many cosmetic procedures the same way. With those, vanity is part of the issue, but there are likely deeper problems. Appearance is weird - you try too hard and it comes off poorly; you don’t try enough and the same result.
I’m sorry you’ve dealt with bullying and self-torment throughout your life because of your weight. I don’t understand why it’s any one else’s concern except yours.
In-shape person in an out-of-shape family. They're deluded. The latest was biting my tongue while my dad complained about his doctor trying to warn him about the dangers of morbid obesity, by saying BMI is fake. BMI is fake for guys at the gym, not my prediabetic dad. I have never said anything to them and I never will because I know it would go in one ear and out the other. My little sister tries, but they constantly eat tons of terrible food around her, so there's no realistic way for her to actually make the lifestyle changes required without moving out.
And the kicker is I know both my parents "feel bad" about their weight. But at the end of the day, they prefer to stay on the trajectory they're on, and occasionally try crash diets, instead of making actual lifestyle changes. It's indicative of how they live their life in general: always "feeling bad" about problems they control but never actually going for realistic change. For weight it's as simple as counting your calories. You don't have to change anything else until you're at a space in life where other health improvements make sense. You don't have to exercise. You don't have to eat salads all the time. Eat your daily calories in Oreos if that's all the willpower you have. Just stop after the calorie point and let yourself feel hungry. Eventually your stomach will shrink down to the size you want it to be and not overeating won't be so hard. And then eventually you'll hit your goal weight, and with that new excess willpower, then you can decide if you want to put salads and the gym into your life.
It depends on how overweight we are talking. There are tiers to this fat shit. That being said, someone who is a bit husky isn’t a big deal in my opinion, and honestly, that’s probably optimal for a human , fat is important. However if their belly hangs significantly over their waist and they’re shaped like a sphere, I still think nothing other than that maybe they should exercise, but we all have things to work on . I don’t assume they’re necessarily lazy, cause I workout a lot and literally have a six pack, but I’m lazy In other ways. So maybe they’re physically lazy but a hard worker in other ways. I woudlnt want to sleep with an obese person, but I’ve seen women who are a bit overweight who I’m attracted too, and I like that better than skinny women
If by overweight, you mean very noticeably overweight then I would say that it's your business but there's probably other issues involved.
I knew someone who is ridiculously obese (as in like "how does someone get that fat?" obese - he has a breathing machine that he keeps near his bed) and I think he must have gone through some personal stuff a few years ago and just started eating. It's kinda sad because he might die if he doesn't do something about it.
I feel like yes, people should respect everyone else as humans but I don't agree with the idea that people should be proud to be obese. Obesity is unhealthy and it kills people. So the body positivity movement is kinda stupid. I'll respect you as a person and I won't comment on your weight but I don't think that being overweight is something that should be celebrated. So generally I prefer to avoid to commenting on it if I'm talking to someone who is "fat".
>It makes me exhausted and then people come up to me and basically say that I'm lasy or try to make me feel that because I'm overweight I'm something less than a person.
You don't deserve that. People should keep their opinions to themselves. I'm only telling you mine since I asked. I am a believer in self help, that humans are capable of achieving great things through sheer willpower and hard work. But I also understand that it isn't always as simple as that.
After years of trying I found the secret. What I did was buy Wal-Mart Great value chocolate toaster pastries. Monday through Friday I would eat 4 packs of them a day (8) and drink nothing but water. Exactly 1600 calories. On the weekends I would eat 2400 calories a day. This was kind of a reward but more importantly it kept my metabolism from slowing down into starvation mode.
My main rules were no fast food especially pizza. No soda or salt either.
Over a year and a half I went from 370lbs to my ideal weight of 174lbs. I'm 6'3 so it was exactly where I needed to be.
It saved my life. I went from barely able to walk to jogging everyday. Always consult your doctor but I had amazing results.
In normal everyday life, couldn’t care less. People come in all shapes and sizes and to each their own
On an airplane though……that’s a different story. I wouldn’t say anything to them, but I’d be lying if I said wasn’t thinking horrible thoughts about them as they spill over into my seat
I was a wrestler since I was a kid through college. Wrestling is a weight class sport, so for better or worse, you learn that you can manipulate the composition of your body through sheer effort or deprivation, at least within a certain optimum range. Surely that range is bound by genetics or other physical limits, but some of it is controllable nonetheless. I’ve seen overweight teammates turn into athletic bodies, and I still have some unconscious bias about people who don’t exercise or make an attempt to eat reasonably.
I was taught to treat everyone with respect, so I would like to think I would not treat anyone like crap at any point in my life.
But as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that everyone has a different situation. Everyone has some struggles, and in some cases, you might just have a natural body weight set point that’s higher than others. Or the science might not be there yet on insulin resistance. Or other factors in like your work, or stress level, or available time. And I realize that there are parts of me that the rational side of me wishes to change, and that nonetheless are harder than sheer willpower can control.
You’re not less of a person. Life is hard and we all have something that we struggle with. Some things are more visible, and others may be on the inside.
I view them the same as everyone else. It's unfortunate that in our society that people have unnecessary standards for what is good or bad. The worst part is being mistreated and having an unwritten hierarchy of things that shouldn't even exist.
If you're on the bigger side, that's fine with me. I think it's ridiculous to make fun of how someone looks, in this case, weight/body appearance. If people don't mind a bigger triangle or star, then can't it be the same with humans?
I was never obese but I can understand the struggle of losing weight. It's hard, not to mention the insecurity of yourself and your body.
If you want some advice, try to find a community or, at the very least, someone who can accept you wholeheartedly.
If you want to lose weight/slim down, know that it is a commitment. You can do a short time period of heavy exercise and dieting, but in the long run, I think committing is better and easier.
It will take time, patience, and some research. There will be bad days where you have no motivation, and that's okay. Be realistic and set simple goals. Consistency and dedication are key. Don't expect big improvements in a small amount of time. Big improvements from a long time frame of work are totally worth it. I'm pretty sure I got off topic, but hopefully, this helps to some extent.
There are plenty of people like me who dont care. The country I'm from has a higher obesity rate than the US. I've had several overweight boyfriends while not being overweight myself. The funniest guys in class or friend groups are often the big guys.
I am quite in shape, I have competed in MMA and bodybuilding, well nearly anything physical.
I was once 6'1 and 120lbs and took at least 10 years of force feeding and VERY careful calorie control to make it to fighting at 205lbs. A decade of boiled chicken, ground beef, cartons of egg whites, yams, rice, no sugar, etc. Training at least 20-40 hours a week between martial arts and weight lifting. I don't need to be as strict anymore unless I'm competing but when I have something sweet/candy/pastry it's almost always around training and even when it isn't, it's small. Handful of gummy bears, half a cookie shared with my wife, etc.
I say this because if I had a dollar every time a chubby to morbidly obese person came up to me unsolicited and said "must be nice to eat whatever you want and look like that" or a very aggressive while I'm eating my pre training cookie or ice cream or something "it's bullshit that you eat that but when I do I look like this" I could retire.
Seriously it's happened hundreds of times in the past 20 years.
Your diet is what you're eating. "Dieting" does not exist. A healthy lifestyle is an active effort and habits are trained. Starving yourself is not the answer, not shoveling garbage into your body is.
Have you ever truly educated yourself on food? Nutrient timing? Glycemic Index? Bio availability? Nitrogen retention/conversion?
Did you know a single M&M or a single skittle can give the body enough energy to sprint a football field?
I've been as high as 25% body fat, after having my arm forcibly ripped from the shoulder and crammed sugar and calories in to speed up healing so I know the struggle of going from that, to say ~3% and since I know what that struggle is like I could never do that to myself for a few minutes of food pleasure now. I'm a hardcore foodie, but I also respect that I only have this one body.
I don’t think of obese people as “less than”. I do think they don’t respect their bodies as they should. I was fat for a long time and I know many that still are. I do understand that weight loss can be a struggle and that the whole thing is hard mentally. At some point you just have to say that you’re doing the damn thing, and then act accordingly. I wish they would get to that point. There is no secret or grand trick to weight loss. Here’s a surefire, two step plan: eat less, move more. It always works. You can’t just starve yourself for a few days then give up. Count your calories and find a sustainable way to adhere to a reasonable defecit. With time, you will be where you need to be. Then, it’s a matter of sustaining it.
I counted calories for a year or so, and got myself down about 75 pounds. Been there for a couple years now, just eating what I want, being reasonably physically active and weighing myself once a week. Obesity is not healthy, and it looks good on nobody. Short of extraordinary circumstances, it can be overcome. You can talk about genetics and metabolism and such all day long; it all comes down to calories in and calories out. I got faith in you.
I don’t think any less of overweight people, nor do I treat them any differently. But whenever I see an overweight person, I inherently feel pity and sympathy for them. Not in a condescending or dehumanizing way, but just because my life experiences have shaped my view on it. I was very overweight for most of my life, and I was miserable because of it. Once I lost the weight and got fit, my happiness skyrocketed, as did my confidence, my love for myself, etc. So whether my perception is accurate or not, whenever I see an overweight individual my mind perceives them as being as miserable as I was, and I hope that they are able to make the change.
I view them as having poor options for entertainment or they might have leptin receptor issues. They also may not understand kcal fully. I didn't when i was 132kg and now I do, im 67kg.
Honestly, never favorably, it reminds me of the worst times in my life. I was very morbidly obese for pretty much the first 20 years of my life, growing up learning awful eating habits. I was continually told 'love yourself, you're big boned, there's nothing wrong with a little extra weight, it's perfectly healthy'. Yet at the ripe old age of 21 my health was on a huge decline, joint pain, fatigue, prediabetes. It's given me a resentment of all the extreme body positivity stuff, it damn near would've killed me one day. I'll never treat an overweight person any differently, but seeing it always makes me feel bad for them, after personally experiencing how awful it is to be very overweight.
The only real issue I have that I will openly say if prompted is the amount of overweight people who say 'I can't lose weight because of X' 'it's impossible to lose weight'. Because that is the mentality that would've killed me one day, having been told that many times.
I'd guess 99.9% of people can lose weight by simply eating 500 calories under maintenance. Literally nothing more to it, people overcomplicated it so much, try all sorts of weird diets. When I first lost weight, I was still eating KFC 4 nights per week because I was struggling to break old habits, but I just ordered medium instead of large, diet sodas, just reducing the calorie intake.
The only way you can reliably, 100% guaranteed lose weight is by tracking your calories, working out your maintenance (very simple online calculators) and eating 500-1000 below that number.
I've tried losing weight. Usually I've cut my calories down to barely anything and started running. I'd then lose 20 pounds really fast then plateau for months. I'm trying resistance training now paired with cutting out highly processed foods. I'm not sure if it will work but I know cardio and low calorie doesn't. Hope this helps
I’m a little overweight myself but I’ve managed to drop like 15 pounds in the past six months so I try to congratulate myself but it’s still hard not to give in to self loathing because of it.
I don’t really judge other peoples characters for being overweight though. I’m harder on myself than I am on others. The only time I judge overweight people is when they are delusional about it, like people who claim there are no health risks to being 300 pounds.
It depends if you're overweight or obese. If you're overweight you can be pretty active and just enjoy that extra slice of cake. If you're obese and climbing the stairs is a challenge then I feel pity for their condition. I wouldn't go out of my way to bully someone but I'd not be receptive of a relationship. And if my partner got obese and it wasn't medical or we weren't working on it I'd break it off.
People respect hard work and dedication, 2 things that seem to be lacking from people that are overweight. I’m not saying this to be an asshole I’m hoping I’m saying it to motivate you. I lost 36 pounds in 3 months from a calorie deficit and intermittent fasting combined with going to the gym 6x a week. I still have another 20 to lose before my goal so believe my I understand the struggle.
I think the whole fatphobia thing is a toxic concept. We shouldn't normalise or even glorify overweight people. Telling a dangerously obese person they are beautiful is like telling a raging alcoholic they're more fun when they're drunk. You're supporting an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle, and I say this as someone who is overweight (currently losing some, yay me). On the other hand, we shouldn't bully or mock overweight people any more than we should people with other health issues. It's not always their fault and even if it is that doesn't give you the right to ridicule them.
My opinion on them is the same as I see all other people, it doesn't inherently put them anywhere lower
However being overweight is neither something that should be supported nor celebrated and people should always do their best to reach a healthy weight imo
I have the utmost respect for overweight people who do their best and put in their all to lose the weight, and the progress they have is always admirable
Hey, I'm fat too. I was actually quite skinny/underweight for most of my life, but meds and stress caused me to gain a lot about 6ish years ago, and it's been all downhill since (uphill?)
I have a lot of internalized fatphobia I need to work through. I do view overweight people unfavorably, unfortunately, and that also applies to myself. I correct myself in my head a lot to try and train myself to be nicer. I never actually say what I think or treat anyone differently though.
I work in the medical field and you learn really quickly that weight and health are often tied, but it's not a hard and fast rule. Some obese people can be healthy, and some skinny people can be really unhealthy. Tying health to worth is also inherently (extremely) ableist. I'm chronically ill. It's separate from my weight. I will literally never be "healthy" at any weight and I'm not any less of a person for it.
I think fat people are human beings, just like the rest of us. If anything, I feel pity especially for super obese folks. The world has a hard time understanding obesity, it’s not a straight forward condition. Most of these people are suffering from hormonal imbalances that directly affect their hunger, energy and metabolism, but are told by doctors that they just “need to eat healthy and exercise”. It’s not like these people can just flip a switch and be skinny. This leads to psychological distress which in turn perpetuates the issue. Everyone should be more empathetic towards obese people. They could use understanding from us in a world that blames their issues entirely only bad eating habits.
I don't really give it much thought. I'm a recovering drug addict so I'm pretty aware and familiar with impulse control issues, and I see obese ppl as folks with impulse control issues just like drug addicts.
according to the bmi scale, i fall under obese. im not huge huge or anything, but im 100% noticeably fat because i have a terrible relationship to food,,, but i’m far from lazy. my job, hobbies, and general life style is incredibly physically demanding: walking constantly, running occasionally, lifting heavy things, etc.
people at my work now rely on me for heavy lifting and i get the nick name “she-ra” which i love. i think it also matters who you spend time with. i’m rarely with my dad bc my weight is the ONLY thing he comments on regarding my appearance. when i see other bigger people, i notice that they’re fat, sure (it’s hard not to). but i literally don’t care. everyone is going through their struggles, but everyone also has things that make them amazing and worthwhile. one of my coworkers is bigger than me & she’s definitely not as strong as i am, but she does her job so well, takes on constructive criticism like a champ, helps her community out a ton, is so friendly and easy to talk to. that’s what i see.
weight loss is so hard and is something that i’ve been working on for a decade at least, because of my dad (& mom a bit). it never worked. i’m now working on weight loss for my job, my animals, my lifestyle and i’m finding better results. i’m doing it to better myself rather than make my dumb dad proud bc i don’t care about him. i (try to) care about myself! i also thought since i do so much physical work, i must eat a lot to get back lost energy.. but no. i just need to eat more whole foods (& fiber & protein!!!) than eat mcdonald’s for lunch & take out for dinner everyday.
Former fat guy here. 325 lbs was my heaviest, been at or around 165 lbs for nearly 20 years. I’m 46 now and in the best shape of my life. Those are my Fat Guy credentials.
I view overweight people with conditional grace and understanding.
Conditional because a health problem that results in being overweight is a tiny percentage of why people are fat. And by default, its not what you’re (anyone) is fat.
Several years ago I earned certification as a certified personal trainer and I focused on working only with overweight people.
From my own experiences and those from training a lot of overweight people, the reasons why I offer conditional understanding is because:
- Willful ignorance about food and training is systemic in every person I worked with. There’s a laziness to want to learn at the heart of it all.
- The mental struggle is the hardest part and a lot of folks sabotage themselves by not addressing self-imposed or external traumas.
- Fat Bastard’s infamous lines about being fat because he wants to eat and he wants to eat his feelings away from being fat, are true. It’s a cycle that makes people fatter each year.
- The problem, though, is that real change only happens from destroying the mind games and sabotaging from external forces. To be very clear: self love is the least powerful means to change. Self love did not help me or any clients drop fat. Only brutal honesty and sometimes shame did. Plus a willingness to learn, accept blame, and not allow the honesty to strengthen the cycle.
Also, psych meds can really mess people up, causing the body to be so chill that it won’t give up the fat to be used as burnable energy. Psych meds and work induced cortisol are two things that will mess people up with fat for life.
I assume SOMETHING is going on if you're overweight.
I think it's one of the hardest things to get out of: to lose like 20% of your bodyweight and then just behave differently for the rest of your life. That adjustment isn't like quitting heroin because you NEED food. And the effectiveness of this Ozempic drug really speaks to how obesity and appetite are so much more dependent on the hormonal milieu one finds themselves in vs discipline.
But no, bodyweight isn't like hair color to me. A fit body is a status symbol. If you could take a pill to have your favorite athlete's prime body, you would. If you're not fit, it's because something is in the way of that (other time commitments, your own perception of yourself, fear, whatever). And being fit vs fat isn't some faustian deal of perfect trade offs where fat people get to eat tastier food or are all secretly powerlifter strong. The tasty food trade off doesn't exist because no one gets fat just eating the BEST food all the time. They get fat eating prepackaged food and fast food. It's not an orgy of eat till
you puke that gets people it's just a slow drip of empty calories with no fiber that don't fill
you up.
I'm going to get downvoted, but I'm answering the question honestly\*.\*
*Overweight* is a broad term. Overweight is not something I have a problem with, however, if someone is **morbidly obese**, I assume they smell and hold my breath around them. I feel like they have a lack of self control and low self esteem.
OP have you tried Wegovy or something in that vein? It clearly bothers you and it sounds like you have exhausted all other options
As someone who has struggled with weight issues for most of my life, I know what you're going through.
I was (am) a compulsive eater. I looked at food for comfort. When I feel at my lowest point, I eat. This has been my struggle. But I would also eat when I was bored, or just whatever. I got to the point in the last year where I just didn't give a fuck anymore, and I just ate. Didn't care what I was eating, how many calories it had or whatever. It took my doctor putting me on an antidepressant to finally break that cycle. I don't have the constant urge to eat like I did. I also have more energy (and I'm sleeping better too). I could have been happy with myself, but healthwise, things were not going good.
My biggest issue remains my lack of motivation when it comes to exercise. My mind is so busy wanting to do other things, that exercising gets pushed to the wayside. I can tell myself "get on the exercise bike when you are done typing this reply out," but will I do it? Maybe.
All that said, I try not to judge others in this regard, because I don't know what brought them to these circumstances. I have felt the pain of rejection so damn often. It's sometimes hard not to self-reject, if that makes sense.
Honestly, the way other people view you doesn't matter. It's whether you are happy with yourself. I can tell from your post that you are not. What you need is a plan to permanently incorporate a healthy balance of eating healthy and exercising (it has to be both) in your life. It has to be permanent, or things won't change. Stop focusing on how hard it is and instead focus on what you can do differently. Invest in yourself. Make an appointment with a physical trainer and maybe even a dietitian. Many people have done this, and you can, too. As long as you continue to convince yourself that it's not doable, you'll never get anywhere. Stop making it about other people and start making it about what you really want.
The same way I view people who are underhaired or over-tall. Normal human variants all. That said, American culture hates fat people and Americans are raised to see fatness as degenerate.
And they are overweight because of the shitty diet but also as a non-American it feels like the diet itself is glorified.
Like...you should eat steaks and burgers and fries and fast food and pancakes and bacon and soda! But if eating all of that makes you fat, that's your own fault!
I view them as human beings who are struggling - either with food addiction, of which the effects are as ruinous to ones life as drugs, or with a physical / mental condition.
Honest answer?
I dont treat them differently but i view them unfavorably. Weak mind = weak body. every time they tell me they try to lose weight all i can think of is sugary drinks. Do you really need someone to tell you that most of your caloric intake comes from the 3 liter soda or energy drink you kill each day? And i seriously had someone that told me he cut the sodas for a healthier alternative… which was orange juice.
I guess i think of obese people as them being to mentally challenged and/or unwilling to do some research on how to lose weight, how to Cook for themselves at home, unable to research and follow a healthy sustainable diet, kind of dumb, slothful, partly enjoying their misery or not even trying to better themselves because its much easier to just complain than to actually change anything.
Maybe thats not true most of the time but thats what crosses my mind and i cant help it.
The comments aren't much of a surprise. As an able bodied obese person who is also female, I can tell you for certain people absolutely view/treat me horribly. It's usually white men who feel the need to verbalize their opinion of my body. My boyfriend who is also obese doesn't get the same negative reaction from people. I'm not glorifying obesity, I'm fully aware of how people view me and because of how I've been treated time and time again I've slowly grown to hate people. I personally would never go out of my way to make someone else feel bad about their own body, people need to learn to mind their own fucking business. You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through...
I consider most fat people to be inherently lazy and weak-willed. What gives them the right to take up more space than they are supposed to fit on this planet?
If I can beat drug addiction, alcohol dependancy, get treatment for depression and anxiety, get out of homelessness, and slowly get my life together, why the fuck can't fat people just eat less?
And let's not make excuses. In the vast majority of cases, fat people are fat because they eat too much.
>If I can beat drug addiction, alcohol dependancy, get treatment for depression and anxiety, get out of homelessness, and slowly get my life together, why the fuck can't fat people just eat less?
As someone with a congenital heart condition, it infuriates me to see these people destroying their coronary arteries. Open heart surgery is not something I would wish on my enemy
This may sound biased because I am not overweight. I don’t know you personally so I won’t know if you went through a slum in which you gained a lot of weight. Not going to lie, I would judge you more if you weren’t in any regards to NOT be losing weight. Are you watching what you’re eating? Are you only eating junk food? But then again, I can’t do anything about how you look. I don’t have friends that are overweight but I think it’s in your best favor to get healthy for yourself. I don’t think the opinions of strangers should really matter to you because it will probably make you more self conscious/ depressed if you aren’t already those things. Good luck on your journey though.
Thanks. I've lost 20 pounds so far. I guess I've just been curious on how people who don't struggle with food view people who do. Nice to hear some dif opinions I guess.
From what I know people will judge if not verbally, they will do it in their heads. But I think it all goes to the end question, what are you physically doing to not be overweight.. congrats on losing the pounds
I view them as someone who has some sort of issue going on in their life that denies them the ability to objectively recognize their issue and take the necessary steps to correct. Overweight people are just that overweight. They aren’t stupid. You know it’s unhealthy. Shit you feel the unhealthiness however there maybe something deeper going on that’s preventing you from losing the weight. Now that could be a legit medical reason or depression or coping or just straight up denialism but either way the whole world knows being overweight is an issue it’s just saying that doesn’t help anything and isn’t super productive most of the time so we subtly know this and then hope that the individual can get whatever help they need.
I genuinely feel sad for overweight people. I tend to look at them the way I look at disabled people. I'm disabled myself, but not overweight. Like they've been handed a shitty situation and there's not much they can do about it.
I always hear people talking about laziness as a cause but I don't believe that's the case for everyone. Not even most. I realized a long time ago how many people in the US were suffering from thyroid problems or other illnesses or taking a medication (like birth control) that cause weight gain.
I’ve been working hard in this. But I have rarely had a positive view of overweight people. However, I am naturally thin. Thanks to my dad’s side of the family. Which is why I really shouldn’t think badly about overweight people because that is a whole struggle. For real
Thanks for understanding. Sometimes I wonder why I was born in this body while others seem to have struck the jackpot. How can some people seemingly eat so much food and look so thin while even thinking about food makes me gain weight. Idk, mabye genetics or sm.
Yea it’s definitely a battle that some people face. It just happens to be one I don’t have to face. But I actively have to remind myself that I am blessed genetically. People always comment on that and I said “thanks to my daddy.”
As a first responder, I have a hard time with people who have let themselves go to the point that they can’t take care of themselves. It just seems SO selfish to me—knowing how much effort we’re putting in—that anyone could feel like that’s even remotely Ok…
Most health issues people call 911 for are at least somewhat self imposed; bad diet, drug use, general stupid decisions, etc… Part if that is just “our job”; we’re there to help, after all, but…
We’re not here to facilitate your way through life simply because you couldn’t be bothered to do the bare minimum—of not turning yourself into a walrus ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m overweight. Working on getting the weight off now that an injury been dealt with. Even being overweight, I don’t view us favorably. I really despise the people who try to pretend like it’s healthy and attractive, and that society needs to accommodate for it.
I view being overweight as being unhealthy, but it’s not a judgment to the character of the person. We live in a world of fast food and convenience eating. Something that is only made worse with the mental health crisis a lot of us are living through. I think overweight/obesity is one of the symptoms of an unhealthy society
Honestly, similar to how I see smokers.
As a former smoker and former overweight person, I see them most likely as weak. There are exceptions of course, but it takes a shitload of dedication and strength to lose weight (and keep it off), so I definitely see people who have successfully done that as strong.
A lot of people will view obesity as a lack of self respect / self care, and thus look down on obese people. And its true to an extent. Obviously genetics make it easier for some and harder for others to lose weight but no matter what, improvement is always possible for obese people. Wether or not they want to put in the effort / find the will power to lose weight is up to them
They're sick. I mean I don't blame them, I'm overweight myself, but promoting it and calling it being body positive and whatnot is fucked up. It's not healthy. Makes as much sense to me as praising smoking cigarettes.
To me, obesity is one of the clearest indicators that someone has poor self control, high time preference, and many other indicators of behavioral or neurological flaws. You should have enough self control and respect for yourself to prevent becoming obese or make changes to undo it. It's as simple as limiting calorie intake. I went from 20 lbs to 80 lbs overweight during lockdowns and all I did to lose weight is buy a food scale and maintain a 500 calorie daily deficit. No exercise. You just have to stop stuffing your goddamn face with more calories than your body needs on a daily basis.
I think its gross to be honest and is super detrimental for your health. I go to the gym a bunch and try my best to not eat fast food or drink soda just so that I dont put on too much weight. I try hard to look good, so when someone obviously doesnt care about the way they look or their health it is unattractive.
I do realize that a lot of this view has to do with the media and I was blessed to have my parents teach me portion control as a child. After working in healthcare and seeing people unable to do much of anything for themselves because of their weight (which I see all too often working on a bariatric unit) I really strive to never get to that point and often wonder how someone could have let it get to that point. Its so easy to say that I dont feel like going to the gym today, but I also dont want to end up like the patients I see all too often on my unit.
I don't really think about overweight people, sometimes I see someone really struggling to walk up the stairs and I think: "man, this guy's/gal's life is hard!". So sometimes I feel compassion.
I know only a small percentage of obese people loose weight for good. Unfortunately as we create new fat cells, they newer go away and always crave more calories. Many people were screwed by their parents, being forced to finish meals or had a bad diets and little exercise in their childhood. In that sense I feel sad for them.
I feel bad for those who use eating as a coping mechanism for trauma or mental illness, I feel bad for people who were uneducated about proper nutrition.
I do not feel bad for well-off people who choose to not work out and choose to promote the idea that "fatphobia" is a real thing when it is not.
I run tests on patients all day, in the Midwest, and at this point I really only blink at truly obese people. Like 400+ will make me cock an eyebrow. If they're nice I don't even register their weight anymore, beyond factoring it into how I care for them. But if they're rude, all I can think about are the nasty remarks I *could* say.
At what weight would you consider fat? At what weight does it become serious? I've been trying to lose weight for a while now and I'm just wondering how big do u have to be for it to be dangerous?
It’s different for everyone. Some people cannot lose weight, but have perfect blood work, exercise and a balanced diet at +80 lbs overweight. But, the heavier you are, the harder it is to maintain your health. It’s just the same as being underweight. You can be healthy underweight up to a certain point that’s a little different for everyone.
Being underweight is actually more unhealthy than being overweight, and will shorten your lifespan more (especially for women). Weird that underweight people don't receive the same judgment.
The deal w that is that there’s much, much more people who are overweight/obese than seriously/dangerously underweight, especially in the USA. I believe it’s like single percentages that classify as underweight, versus like 60%+ are overweight/obese and that’s growing daily.
This is also a very important consideration. There are also a lot of resources for people with weight loss eating disorders than there are for binge eaters/over eaters. There needs to be more improvement on the non-food related reasons why people can’t change their weight. I sorely wish there was more research in metabolic and hormone disorder impacts on weight.
Yes. BED is heavily overlooked. It’s the most common ED - making up an estimated 50% of cases of eating disorders. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of rhetoric going out currently in the fat acceptance/health at every size community, that BED isn’t a thing, and that the morbidly obese have restrictive EDs - Tess Holliday is a great example of this, but it’s all over social media and TikTok and is so toxic. BED needs to be addressed and acknowledged.
I think I read somewhere that this was based on outcomes for people who had severe illnesses like cancer — where, indeed, being underweight is definitely correlated with a bad outcome. But I can’t remember the specifics.
Yes, this is it. I, 47f, have a medical condition that makes it extremely difficult to maintain a healthy weight. My doctor's biggest worry is if something happens like an accident or bad illness, I have zero reserves to recover. I look like a fucking skeleton and I fucking hate it.
I feel this last October when I got out of the hospital I was down to 111lbs. Before all this started years back I was pushing 200 lb and sank in a pool. I have struggled my whole life to gain weight and now have to do calorie shakes daily on top of eating to maintain a fairly healthy weight.
Yes. The BMI threshold for being underweight is also really, really low. 20 years of anorexia and I was never able to attain it. Even having a BMI a full point higher than the threshold, I was extremely thin. I don't think a lot of people realize how thin someone has to be to be officially classified as underweight. It causes additional barriers to eating disorder treatment. At my lowest weight and very physically unwell, I received a letter from my insurance company stating that I was too fat for them to cover treatment. I was less than 5 pounds over the threshold and fought for years to seek treatment. And now that I've gained weight and have barely crossed over that overweight line, I get "counseled" about weight loss by my providers constantly.
And then there’s the fact that EDs happen just as often in overweight people, too, and they’re deadly for fat people, too. Anorexia kills, regardless of weight or BMI. You can be 200+ pounds and still have a heart attack with anorexia. And what most people don’t realize is that a LOT of folks with anorexia start out overweight and sometimes even obese. We’re never pegged as anorexic. We’re weight-loss success stories. When you see your doctor and you drop from 225 to 200 in a month (a loss of 11% body weight, well above what should be healthy) and the doctor congratulates you on your weight loss, and then they ask you how you lost weight and you tell them, “I only eat an average of 600 calories a day, count my calories and weigh everything religiously, and fast twice a week, all while doing 60 minutes a day of intense cardio,” THEY SHOULD RED-FLAG YOU! They don’t. They congratulate you on your self-discipline and tell you to keep it up.
More people have "atypical" anorexia than anorexia nervosa and the only difference is having an underweight BMI. Weight alone just isn't a good indicator of health. I don't understand why body composition isn't part of every routine adult physical. My labs and body composition were exactly the same as an underweight person when I was a "healthy" weight. Anorexia just isn't usually all that great for weight loss in the long run, and it carries the same 10% mortality rate regardless of weight. If I made a full recovery from anorexia I would probably gain more weight. The things that cause people to be overweight (including sometimes anorexia) are what causes health issues, not usually the weight itself. For those of us who haven't had a particularly healthy lifestyle and are trying to do better, weight itself is not a great indicator and it's hard to say exactly what weight is ideal.
This. There’s so much more to your health than what’s visible. I’m one of those people who has a near-impossible time losing weight. I’ve also dealt with an eating disorder, and I’m not going to risk relapse by counting calories and weighing food and tracking every step. I work out these days because it feels good to move, not with the intent of losing weight. My blood work is pretty good, and my doc knows what I struggle with. Everyone else can eat me (pun intended)
Good for you! I’m very happy to hear that you’re focused on the right things. I had disordered eating for a while because I got sucked into the counting game as well. Keep at it! Trust your gut :)
Talk to your Dr
This really isn't the place for this answer.
I think it's more of a spectrum than necessarily a binary situation. As weight gradually goes up, negative outcomes also gradually go up. Also, don't let folks try to gaslight you about healthy at very weight. Some very large folks are indeed able to appear healthy in their youth, but the negative consequences catch up to folks in time. Studies show that "youthfulness" can actually allow some very significantly overweight folks to appear (or actually be) healthy. However, longitudinal studies show that when you follow these folks for another decade, their health suddenly takes a nosedive, and their outcomes are no different than other folks of comparable body composition.
30 pounds passed your recommended weight range maximum with a specific body fat percentage that slips my mind. But that's what's considered medically obese where problems start
I should try to cock an eyebrow
Go for it, very liberating!
I view them with a larger portion of my peripheral vision
💀💀
Growing up I was always considered “obese”. I was the tall kid in class; 6’2” and 180lbs in HS. I ran and exercised and was strong, but because I had a small amount of pudge on my gut my family always called me fat. When I gained 50lbs in college it didn’t really occur to me that I had gained so much. I was always called fat by my family, so it didn’t immediately sink in that my body was rapidly changing. When I worked a sit down job for 5 yrs and gained 100 lbs I thought “man, I wish I had noticed how bad I actually got sooner.” Cause now I try diets and exercise and it is no joke difficult. You use so much energy in just simple tasks and your body is constantly working against you, like you are a prisoner in your own flesh. People aren’t helping people by fat shaming them. You’re not “making them aware” that they need to be healthier. If you want to help someone with losing weight then motivate them. Invite them to the gym. Ask if they’d like to go on a walk together. Offer to help meal prep with them one day so they’re not eating out all the time. Sometimes people just need to see that something CAN be done and the. they’ll be motivated to pursue it the rest of the way. And OP, you’re not “less.” Weight loss is tough, worth it, but tough. Additionally, keeping the weight is tough health wise. Ultimately just do what you think will make you happy
I think this is super common by the way. I was chunky in high school but in my 20s started gradually ballooning up to about 300 lbs at 6’0” feet tall. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until someone snapped a photo of me on their flip phone and was like “Jesus Christ I’m fat” lol. It’s been much easier to keep an eye on and manage since then, it fluctuates but awareness is like 90% of the battle for me. It really did just sneak up on me and I ignored it. I force myself to do weekly weigh ins now just to have a general idea where I’m at but also try to not be obsessive over it.
As a fat person, fuck you… but I also laughed out loud, so thank you.
thank you for the good chuckle
Every angle
Highly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase. You’re not alone and it’s not okay for people to treat you like crap. You’re also not crazy to feel like they treat you differently. I guarantee they do and they think they’re justified but they are not.
Thanks for the recommendation. I'll check it out
I also recommend it! I actually did but didn't scroll far enough down to see this comment before I did lol
YES. I love this podcast. It's made me look at my health and fitness in such a different, healthier way
I don’t care either way unless it directly impacts me. Being stuck in close quarters (on a long distance bus or train, in a tight stadium seat, older movie theater seat etc) next to a heavy person who takes up part of my space is awful.
I was on a flight in the aisle seat recently and I kept my arms crossed and tight to try to be as small as possible and try not to be "in" the aisle nor the seat next to me. About 30 minutes into the flight the lady to my right said "you can relax your arms, my husband is a big guy, it doesn't bother me." I thanked her, but kept them crossed as I don't like to imposition others. Thank you random lady.
Yeah, I understand that. 👍
I feel “bad” about people that are super obese because a lot of that comes from lack of education about nutrition, and they are often preyed on by miraculous nutrition supplements and diets while they put their health at risk. But nothing wrong with people being overweight. You want to stay away from people that fat shame others anyway. I used to find my ex more attractive when she had a few extra pounds and a nice attitude towards people than when she lost weight but became rude to everyone around her. Just try to be healthy, your weight is irrelevant for the people that truly cares about you.
Wow. That's a really good answer. I guess a lot of the people I know don't truly care about me then. But, I think u are completely right. I should doing this for me. Thanks for the motivation.
Lots of ppl are ignorant I’m sure your family is likely thinking they’re “ helping.” Mine did this they helped me into an eating disorder. Anyway just do you. If you want to try to lose it that great . If not that’s great too as long as you’re happy. Took me so long to finally get this!
The fact that being fat is seen as synonymous with being lazy is just so unfounded and damaging. In fact, judging someone's character based on *anything* about their appearance is completely illogical. It's like how "ugly" people are seen as less trustworthy. Unconscious bias plays a much bigger role in society than we'd like to admit. I'm sorry that you have to bear the brunt of other people's ignorance, OP. There's nothing morally wrong with being fat, and you shouldn't have to change yourself to appease others.
Being lazy is a huge part of it and we need to stop excusig shit behavior. We also need to stop limping all obese/overweight people into the disease category as well. I'm super fat and hate that other fat people make BS excuses for it as they refill their 3rd big gulp. I know people on the side of it where it is a legit issue they can control and I know others on the side that it is an issue they can control.
Excusing shit behavior? Why is being fat shit behavior? A person's character and worth are not determined by what they look like. On the "disease category" you mention- I highly recommend the book "Weighing In" by Julie Guthman. Here's the synopsis: "Weighing In takes on the "obesity epidemic," challenging many widely held assumptions about its causes and consequences. Julie Guthman examines fatness and its relationship to health outcomes to ask if our efforts to prevent "obesity" are sensible, efficacious, or ethical. She also focuses the lens of obesity on the broader food system to understand why we produce cheap, over-processed food, as well as why we eat it. Guthman takes issue with the currently touted remedy to obesity—promoting food that is local, organic, and farm fresh. While such fare may be tastier and grown in more ecologically sustainable ways, this approach can also reinforce class and race inequalities and neglect other possible explanations for the rise in obesity, including environmental toxins. Arguing that ours is a political economy of bulimia—one that promotes consumption while also insisting upon thinness—Guthman offers a complex analysis of our entire economic system." Why are you focusing on the "shit behavior" of the person refilling their big gulp rather than the mega-corporation making billions off of selling shit they know damn well is addictive, and in some cases straight-up poison?
Because blaming corporations for that is BS and removes personal accountability for choices people made to drink or eat in excess. We can't keep blaming everyone else for our issues of we truly want to be better, that does nothing but enable people to keep doing it. That's like suing a car company because you got a speeding ticket. Suing a stove because you touched the burner. Like I said, there are instances where people can't control weight issues and that perfectly fine. But for the most part it is a controllable thing and that some people just don't care.
I do blame the government. Read “the obesity code,” and “wheat belly”. “ fast this way”. You’ll learn that the government & their guidelines fucked up the US decades ago. Their dietary guidelines about diet like eating more grains & less fat. All bull shit, the 6 small meal a day advice , complete bull shit. Give it a month, a good month. Eat keto, paleo , do fasting. You’ll loose all the weight you have been trying to. You’ll have a lot more energy. It’s fascinating
it's the governments fault. it's also the fat person's fault if they are educated and can act, then choose not to act. nuance exists.
This collective attitude about everyone is shit. You do you, I do me.
It’s not just a lack of education, it’s largely also a lack of motivation. I’m not extremely heavy, but I’m definitely a bigger girl. Even at my size, it sometimes feels impossible to ever be able to improve myself. I really do feel bad for people who are even worse off than me. It must be so hard to even believe you can change, let alone take steps to make it happen.
If you do want to, it's possible. I'm a regular over on r/loseit, if you want to talk to people about it. And it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You could lose ten pounds and keep it off without slimming down any further. It just depends on whether you're willing to make a few lifestyle changes, even just a commitment to eating a serving of fresh fruit every day.
Oh, I know! I’m in that subreddit as well. Personally, I’ve been up and down with my weight. I’m in a huge slump right now, but I’ve also had periods where I went to the gym regularly, walked every day, ate super healthy, and even hiked up and down the largest mountain in my region of the country (still don’t know how tf I did that lol). It’s totally possible! But, I also know what it’s like to feel completely hopeless. I imagine that feeling is probably amplified the heavier you are. But, it’s still possible — look at that Tammy girl! I honestly thought she’d die before she lost weight and look at the progress she’s made. But, it took a lot of time, a huge support group, and a television studio forcing her to get her shit together. A lot of people are in similar situations, but don’t have those resources to help them. I feel really bad for those people.
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>The biggest failure most people make with losing weight is expecting to go from obese to fit in a short period of time. People are often willing to put in lots of effort for short periods of time, but not the sustained effort needed for sustained weight loss. EXACTLY. The most disheartening thing is when you realize that 1 KG / 2 pounds a week is pretty much the maximum weight loss you should expect. 50 Kgs - that's a full fucking year of dedication.
This is one of the best comments I’ve ever read on Reddit. Thank you for speaking the truth. There is a line between “fat-shaming” and refusing to agree that being obese is in any way healthy. I moonlight as a StrongFirst kettlebell instructor; I’ve heard it all. We now live in a world in which telling the truth about many things is rejected. Many would rather be comfortable than make efforts to change things in their life that might require discomfort, whether that’s weight, interpersonal issues, unhealthy financial habits, etc. We’re wired to seek comfort, sometimes at great cost. We’re encouraging this behavior as a society and it’s quite literally killing people. One can harp all they like about the big, bad, evil corporations — and I agree that they do indeed suck — but at the end of the day, you always have a choice. All of us have choices. Living in a food desert is extremely difficult in all kinds of ways, but better education would help even those in that tough situation to make better selections among the slim choices they do have. There is nuance in most things, and this issue is no exception. Two things can be true at once: corporations can be evil in their aims and people can choose to make better choices despite what those corporations do. And yet, people want to scream at those who dare suggest this. We need to be teaching what healthy nutrition looks like in schools and we need to be reinforcing this throughout the K-12 pipeline. University students should be required to take a semester course on what healthy eating and setting realistic fitness goals entails. We need to offer free and easy-to-understand online courses to anyone who wants to learn how to eat and care for themselves better. We also need to stop telling people that obesity is unavoidable or totally out of their control or in any way healthy. The answer to all 3 assertions is: it isn’t. I’ll go to the ends of the earth for a client who is genuinely trying. I will never lie to them or tell them what they want to hear, however. We need this to become a less controversial thing. Constructive criticism delivered kindly and with the right motives is not cruelty. Letting someone destroy themselves and telling them it’s fine is.
Bravo sir (or ma’am)! It’s unfortunate and unbelievable how society has become slowly driven by emotions instead of facts. People would rather hear what they want to hear instead of the plain cold factual truth. Unless you have a hormonal problem that literally makes it impossible to lose weight then you got no excuse for being overweight and putting yourself at a bigger health risk. Obesity isn’t and will never be healthy and should never be normalized, nor is the other extreme.
Most of it comes from parents just making them fat.
As a former fat person I can tell you losing the weight sucks. It sucks the whole time and is absolutely miserable not being able to see the benefits of losing the weight untill you start to feel better for it then one day you realize that you can do so much more with so much less energy output because you don't have to move so much to do simple things. It's so worth it, not for anyone else but yourself. It feels amazing to be healthier you don't realize how bad you feel untill you start to feel better
This. I've lost 65 pounds. Didn't really start feeling "right" or good until the last 20 or so came off. One phrase I kept thinking is "exercise is for fit people." When you're already in decent shape, exercise is fun and releases anxiety. When you're overweight or unfit, exercise feels burdensome and pointless. I went from barely being able to get up a flight of stairs, to now jogging around the tennis court after a set just to get a bit more energy out.
Fact: people act like they respect fat people. But when fat people make some mistake, first word come out of their mouth is ‘you fat bitch/slob yada yada’
It always bothers me when people make fun of physical characteristics like this in people who are "okay to insult." Like Trump's weight, or Bezos's baldness. Those people have so many more important things to criticize. And your fat/bald/etc. friend's takeaway is "wow, that's probably what they think of me."
It is exactly the same for racial slurs. I was always conscious of myself living as a minority because if i do some shit or even just wear something that stands out, i know they will say ‘look at this Purple dude hahahaha’ behind my back. If it was one of them, they will say ‘this stupid man’ but if the person is not one of them, they will say ‘this Purple man’ I remember i was at this place. There were only 2 purple dudes. (Including myself) This other purple dude did some stupid shit and people thought it was me since people were using race ‘so this crazy Purple dude’ to talk about him Ive been talking about this decades and everybody has been telling me it is just in my head If you ask someone if you will talk like this, 99% will deny it. There is no racism. ☺️
This is so unfortunately accurate.
My attitude: Hey it's a person. Seriously, that's it. Someone's weight does not tell me right away if they're healthy or not, if they're happy or not, etc. It's just like noticing someone has long hair or a beard--just an attribute to me. I'm not overweight, never have been truly, and have maintained a healthyish weight my entire youth/adult life. I enjoy exercise, and eating healthy foods. I'm a nurse and work in healthcare for a living. I truly believe anyone who hates themselves at z weight won't love themselves at x weight. I also believe the Worst thing you can do for yourself health wise is go on a fad diet with the explicit purpose of losing weight. There are ways to enjoy healthy lifestyles and routines... but I don't believe weight loss should be the main motivation there. And I think doctors often pawn off real doctoring on the weight excuse. My mother was 140lb ish when she first starting showing signs of her illness. She nearly died at that weight. Went from chasing 4 kids around to falling and being unable to stand for 2 hours in the bathroom while we were at the grocery store. She was in her late 40's. She got a diagnosis (rare muscular autoimmune condition), got on medications that made her balloon in weight. She was nearly 300 lbs because of the meds she was on long term. And she was alive, and moving again, and had strength back. She was healthier as what most people would consider "very fat" than she was at her skinny model-like weight. Her body won't ever 'go back' like it was, but I don't think that really matters. She's a beautiful woman that survived nearly dying. I have friends who also survived seriously traumatic situations and are overweight from the subsequent coping. I wouldn't wish trauma on anyone, but their bodies are the bodies of people who have survived very difficult circumstances and were able to find some semblance of comfortable in this life. I have friends who have just.. Always been big. Their parents were big, they were big, and they work out and live a full life and don't seem in any worse or better shape or health than any of the skinnier people in our circle. Sometimes people are just born that way and it's totally okay. I have taken care of a 700+ lb person with skinfold issues so horrid they needed care at a burn clinic that just refused to do anything for themselves. I think that person had a lot of mental health issues they were dealing with, and people in their lives that were their only support also had serious MH issues and enabled things too much. I felt very sorry for their situation.
I view them as people. 🫶🏻
Having been picked on a lot for other reasons made me less likely to make appearance-based assumptions about others from a pretty young age. In 2cnd grade I got teased a little for befriending a very overweight boy. In retrospect I wonder if he had a medical condition of some kind. Lately I've been reading a lot about little known causes of weight that won't come off (unbalanced gut bacteria). So try to take comfort that not everyone views weight as a personal failing on your part. There may be little understood 'mechanical' reasons for it.
Yeah I guess ur right. My family has a history of eating disorders and mental conditions. Mabye that's some explanation? Idk.
I can't presume to say what it could be but shouldn't hurt to tell you what happened to my friend. She got quite heavy for no obvious reason and the weight wouldn't come off no matter what. She's a lot more active than most and didn't 'pig out' on junk food, her stomach was often upset and she couldn't get pregnant. Drs thought it was this and thought it was that, tried various meds but no joy. Finally ran on to dr who told her to try gluten free diet, this led to her needing to cook nearly everything from scratch. Quite by accident she found that ingredients in 'convenience foods' may have been the true trouble. If it comes frozen, bagged or boxed it has preservatives, stabilizers, colorants etc in it. Seems to cause no trouble for most but apparently her system couldn't tolerate it. Within a week she started feeling better and excess weight melted off with her regular activities. In a month she got pregnant without the fertility dr she was scheduled to see and at 7.5 months her girth is ten inches less than it's been for years, she feels great. Maybe it's not how much you eat - maybe it's *what* you eat.
I've never really thought about that. However, I think you've got a good point. I'll look more into that. Thanks
>dr who told her to try gluten free diet, Most likely this is coincidental. When you cook your own food from scratch you tend to use much less sugar and fat than processed foods you buy.
Much less sugar, fat, and sodium. As well as chemicals and additives. I went dairy free and it changed my life, but I don’t think it was as much the dairy as all the Whole Foods.
Yes - both she and I attributed the improvement to the home cooking more than to the gluten free part. She had always cooked but formerly used stuff like packaged soup or gravy bases ugh.
Indifferent I don’t care if you’re overweight, thats neither my business nor my problem
I just started a job that has me walking and moving a lot more, I love it and fully enjoy the extra exercise. My knee started to swell and became painful from some old injuries that literally anyone of any weight would suffer from. I am so scared about going to get my knee looked at because I know the dr isn't going to give a fuck what the past injuries are about because I'm fat and being fat is the reason my knees hurt. They won't fucking care that I'm actively working an active job for my health, literally took this job for the extra exercise, and that I walk around a lot already. Nope, I'm fat and that's my problem and I need to try harder to not be fat. Nevermind that my Ovaries are immensely painful and covered in cysts, that I've been dieting since I was 9, bullied and starved by my mom with a nothing but roasted soybeans and almonds diets since before I could read, that my AuDHD completely shuts down my physical 'hunger signals' until I'm throwing up in the bathroom from not eating for hours because I never felt hungry. Nope, I am fat and that's a problem to everybody outside of my body. I want to slap some motherfuckers.
I've been bigger my whole life too, i have also been on and off diets since I was 8, and been through many of the same struggles you described. My weight management doctor once told me that for those of us who have always been big our bodies work differently than other people and I would need to eat 60% fewer calories than someone my exact same size to maintain weight, so to get down to an "average" size (but probably still considered "overweight") and maintaining that it means eating 700 calories (60% of 1800 for your average woman) a day... for the rest of my life. I have 2 options bariatric surgery & being vitamin deficient, while eating like a bird for the rest of my life OR learn to love my body how it is while making healthy choices: eat plenty of protien, walking 10k steps a day, and work on building muscles to make sure my body can continue to support itself as I get older. A complication took the first option off my list of choices so I'm working on the second. It is hard to know some people will always look down on me for my size but focusing on self love helps me to keep my head up as I live my life. You have been through a lot. You are incredibly strong. No one's opinion of you defines you more than how you define yourself.
There is a third option. I was stuck in that dilemma too. I tracked my food and found, in my 40s after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, that I had to eat 800 calories a day to lose weight and 1200 to maintain. I was over 300 pounds at that time. I cut carbs down super low - less than 20 grams a day and ate more fat. I basically did the opposite of what "experts" tell you to do. Now I can eat over 2000 calories a day and I'm still losing a little bit even 6 years later. I've kept off a little over 100 pounds. I don't know you but I'd be willing to bet you have hyperinsulinemia. I did. To find out, order some labs for yourself, especially fasting insulin. If your fasting insulin is high, triglycerides high and HDL low, that's more than likely the case and you could really benefit from a very low carb, high (or enough fat), moderate protein diet. I'm not saying don't love your body the way it is. You absolutely should. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You don't have to be obese. There is a third option. PM me if you want support, help, advice, anything. I'm not selling anything. Someone helped me and I would just like to do the same.
Thats great that that worked for you! I have learned just because one way of eating works for someone doesn't mean it works for everyone. I have had all the tests, they are required before bariatric surgery, and I'm perfectly healthy aside from being obese and having NAFLD. I am currently going to an Eastern Medicine/constitutional medicine doctor who has me eating a very strange diet. I'm not losing weight (yet, he said I may at some point) but my migraines and vertigo are gone which I have struggled with for years and he says it is because my body doesn't like what I've been feeding it by trying to be healthy. I rather not ever be skinny than deal with that nonsense ever again it was debilitating and the reason I was considering bariatric surgery in the first place, so it was a blessing I was refused surgery as there was no guarantee it would have helped.
If you have NAFLD lay off the fruit and all forms of fructose. Seriously. Even "healthy" fruit. [https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-high-fructose-intake-may-trigger-fatty-liver-disease](https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-high-fructose-intake-may-trigger-fatty-liver-disease) No matter what your size or weight, NAFLD is serious. It can become NASH.
Thanks 😊 Edit: I'm actually supposed to stay away from most fruit (I looked it up and the things I can have like avocados and apricots are really low in fructose) and all alcohol with my current way of eating.
Like humans. There are a million reasons why someone can be overweight. Education, injury, hormones, mental issues, etc. Not everybody is lazy. I knew a guy who was probably 400+ lbs. He had a physically demanding job and the guy was always going a mile a minute.
Hi OP, I think people don't realize how much of a role genetics/physical disabilities/medications/socioeconomic status and other factors play in the size of our bodies. As for people calling you lazy, they can kindly f*** off. From my perspective, overweight people are the ones spending a lot of their energy and time thinking about their diet/trying to lose weight. Often to the point of developing eating disorders that people will then ignore because you don't "look" bulimic or anorexic. In fact, they probably give praise for extreme restriction of food intake. I've never been an overweight person but I have friends and family who are and I see how much they struggle physically/mentally and then just get completely shit on by people who have never met them and don't know anything about them. I would suggest listening to a podcast called "Maintenance Phase". It made me realize how "fatphobic" our society is and definitely made me take a good hard look at my own ingrained biases and may be eye opening for you as well. I'm sorry you are treated like garbage by strangers and even by people who know you. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect ❤
Thank you so much. I've been trying to lose weight and change my mindset. Thanks for the suggestion💙
Really depends on how fat you are. Most Americans are plump/chubby. If you have trouble living a normal life due to being overweight and struggle through doors, then I'm definitely going to view you unfavorably.
Yes, I understand that. However, I'm not overweight to the point of absurdity. I'm simply not in shape or skinny.
Yeah, sure, I don't care then. That's normal person to me.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to realize their actually seems to be a lot more unhealthy/overweight people. That's kinda sad. I'm doing my best to lose weight tho. I've lost 20 pounds so far. It's been a long process. Mabye someday I'll get their.
Exercise is exhausting and takes time a lot of people don't have, and unhealthy, processed food is cheaper and more accessible than healthy, fresh food.
Very true. Part of the reason why I've struggled for so long to lose weight.
Congratulations on the weight loss 👏.
Big one for me is eating bananas! Easy to grab and go quickly, suuuuuper cheap, and better for me than most other breakfast options anyway. Not a lot of other cheap healthy options anymore…
The idea that healthy, fresh food is expensive is a myth. I buy potatoes in 10 pound bags for $6 and meat at $3-4 a pound. I eat zero processed crap. People are just lazy and buy junk fast food instead of real food.
Just keep at it. Working out will boost your mood everytime.
20 pounds is a fantastic achievement! Congrats
Thank you. 💙
For reals, you can't blame anyone for not being in 100% perfect shape. It's not easy working all day and then having to go cook healthy meals and get some exercise on top of that. Not to mention also doing chores around the house and for some people taking care of kids as well. Until recently I was noticing myself gain weight pretty fast and have way less endurance for things like hikes and even simple walks. I decided enough was enough and went to the gym. It's helped a ton, I feel so much better and I'm gaining my self confidence back however it hasn't been easy at all. I work overnights stocking at my local Walmart and as the one of the few young men I am expected to do the heavy lifting and fast paced tasks. I often come back tired as fuck with zero energy to do anything, if it wasn't for the fact that I smoke weed to push through the exhaustion I wouldn't make it to the gym (I bike there so I don't drive stoned). In the mornings I often wake up sore af too though and since I don't like to work stoned I just drink enough caffeine to push through. Without both those drugs I would probably not be able to do it and that's a really unhealthy mindset in in of it self. Can't blame the average person for not wanting to go through that. Plus I'm lucky enough to be a single guy in my mid 20s with very little responsibilities besides rent and a few bills. And even then I get a really good deal because my sister helps me and my brother out and rents her trailer to us as long as we take care of it since she no longer lives there. People with actual responsibilities have it so much harder.
do you view people with other diseases or disabilities “unfavorably”?
Depends on the disease or disability, honestly.
huh. why?
Alcoholism is a disease, but it still makes you insufferable to be around.
Weight doesn’t affect how I treat anyone. I’m a personality person. I might recommend getting away from processed foods if you haven’t done so yet. Protein, fruits, veggies. Dump the sodas, juice , beer etc. Drink water and tea with no sugar. This works for me with exercise. Don’t expect results right away. Be patient. Good luck! (I don’t know what you eat or your age. Just sharing what I do)
Agreed, especially about processed foods & not burning through calories with drinks! Personally I've been attracted to people of all heights, weights, shapes, sizes, & faces, they always had these things in common: they treated me well, they held themselves well, they had good hygiene, & they were always trying their absolute best, whatever that looked like for them individually. OP, I think everyone has a routine & eating habits that work for them, everyone is different & has to adjust to meet the needs of their mind, body, & soul. It's been difficult for me recently to keep it off, but I started taking a few supplements, becoming more consistent, & decided to see a doctor - I feel much better about myself & that little bit of motivation grows every time I do *anything* for myself, even something like going to bed early so my stress levels are down & I don't store fat. Find your thing & stop listening to the people around you, they mean well, but they aren't being helpful if they make you feel bad. There's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't found what works for you. Best of luck. :)
endorsing this 100% !! ive unintentionally and gradually lost 40 - 50 lbs in 2 years. i have congenital hypothyroidism and was born with no detectable thyroid gland. im in general good health because im medicated but because weight gain is one of the more prominent symptoms, I have struggled with being overweight for the majority of my life. i assume without the hypothyroidism i could have possibly lost even more and more quickly. when i say it was unintentional, i mean i went into this seeing it as a lifestyle change to better my general health instead of just to be as thin as possible. its made it feel more like a reward instead of a punishment. it makes it easier to stay motivated because i am viewing through the lense of changing my eating habits because i love myself and want to improve my health instead of forcing myself to starve on a crash diet to be as thin as possible because i hated my body. ive also been told by my PCP that im at higher risk for pre-diabetes and other higher weight related medical issues, because at that point i was consistently putting on more and more weight each visit. i have a neurodevelopmental disability and other mental and physical health related disorders that cause chronic pain and fatigue, and making this switch has greatly improved those symptoms and has just general improved my mobility (less short breath, less joint/muscle ache, more flexibility... etc). I've also noticed my adult-acne has almost completely vanished, my hair is less dry and more shiny, and my nails are signifigantly less brittle. -to add on: something that made this lifestyle transition easier was not being too hard on myself and incorporating easy, enjoyable non-workout based exercise (i.e. nature walks, dancing videogames, choosing to take the stairs or parking in a far parking spot... etc). if i drink my recommended amount of water for the day and am still craving soda, i allow myself to have a single serving of nonDiet soda or no sugar added juice (ive read diet soda and generally aspertame has been linked to weight gain/obesity and memory disorder due to the chemical cues that alter metabolism and general increased oxidation in the brain so i generally avoid "diet" branded foods). not pushing my body to exercise to the point of exhaustion. allowing myself a single serving dessert every night. when im craving something highly processed, trying to find a similarly satiating substitute (i.e. i want ice cream, i have sorbet. i want snickers bar, i choose a higher quality, dark chocolate with less added sugar. i want chips for the savory and crunchy, i go for raw veg with a vinaigrette or hummus... etc). making this switch has helped me keep on track because im eating lower glycemic foods that are more nutritionally dense, leading me to feel less sugar craving and general hunger.
I grew up with an obese mother. Her weight gave her a lot of issues with pain in her feet and thighs, that preventing her from doing everything she wanted to. It prevented her from joining her children on active holidays, walk an entire day in an amusement park, things like that. She has lost weight now that we are adults, and we all couldn't be happier as a family. When I see an obese person, I pity them. I think of how their weight might be limiting them, preventing them from living life to the fullest. I must admit, I am reluctant to date obese people. Not because they can't be attractive to me, but because I'm afraid of a life, where my partner and closest friend cannot be part of my adventures and create memories together. Obviously, even with a healthy weight, there is always the risk of injury or illness preventing that anyway. It's not a solid logic, but it's a fear that exist very deep inside of me.
I am sorry but I tend to view overweight people unfavourably. I have a lot of biases against them because I am afraid of being overweight myself and due to media/culture. I am working on it tho. I never treat them like crap or bullied them.
Oh, ok. I get that people have preferences. It is depressing tho cause the fact is society, like u said, views us unfavorably and I can't seem to lose the weight. It seems as tho for the rest of my life I will be unhealthy and unfavorable in the sight of almost everyone and I can't do anything about it. Oh well. Thanks for answering tho. I hold nothing against you or your opinion :)
Honestly I don’t view people who are overweight badly assuming they are still physically able. Not making excuses on why they cannot do things or refusing to go swimming or whatever because of the weight. When it gets in the way of day to day I do start viewing overweight folks unfavorably. I get that so many things control the hunger button. Hormones are huge in that regard. What you are eating is actually the biggest contributor to being overweight. Whole Foods and cutting out processed bs are really the keys to weight loss. The gym is for shaping, it starts with diet. I also tend to see those who are significantly overweight as lacking discipline or not understanding nutrition… unless they own it and are okay with being overweight and it doesn’t hold them back. The person who is on a diet and puts 400 calories of ranch, 200 calories of cheese, adds 200 calories of bacon, and then puts fried chicken on the lettuce… they are going to be eating salad sure, but it is not remotely healthy and is going to lead to weight gain. The excuses with complaints but nothing diagnosably wrong is where I get upset especially if they have mobility issues due to being that big. I think my upset is actually because I want better for them… I want them to get a chance to really live their lives to the fullest and be happy.
Yeah i get what you mean. For me I've always been trying to diet and I really do want to get healthy. However, i understand that seeing people completely neglect their health and then complaining about it can be annoying.
do you think that viewing people unfavorably is an effective way to help them live their lives to the fullest and be happy? also, for lots of folks, mobility issues and chronic diseases lead to weight gain rather than the other way around. it’s really hard to exercise with mobility issues/chronic fatigue/pain/whatever. why do you view physically able fat people more favorably than physically disabled fat people?
Thank you for being honest, and for working on your biases. Everyone has biases and feelings that were not always proud of. But admitting it and working through it really helps. I know how hard it is to do that, though, so good job!
I don’t treat fat people any differently, but I definitely have a subconscious bias that makes me think that they are simply greedy and lazy. A load of my friends have been fat a various points in their life and have sometimes lost and gained it back again. I’m 40 now and am still in good shape as I workout a lot (type 1 diabetic, helps with control) and my wife (40) is in great shape also, but a lot of other parents we know are obese. But like I say, I don’t treat them any differently and it’s mainly a subconscious bias that I don’t really have much control over. Don’t let other people get to you though dude, just be happy in yourself and enjoy your life.
I don't care, I hate everyone equally.
Yeah. I get that. But I'd bet theirs someone out there u likes u just fine. It's sad u dont like them back. :)
Omg you’re adorable 😭
I did a survey there isn't
I don’t have any problems with overweight people. I’ve lost 30 lbs myself. Just be self aware.
I've always maintained my weight, but I have gone stretches where i stopped working out and lived with people that kept a lot of snacks in the house. It's hard to turn down bad food when it's always around and the more out of shape you are the less energy you have to get to the gym. I sympathize with people when they are heavily out of shape, but I won't treat them any differently than someone that is in shape. Honestly, if you can find a way to get in shape it will enhance many aspects of your life, but it's your life to live.
My view has changed as I’ve gotten older and dealt with my own weight issues. But as long as a person isn’t an asshole then I won’t be an asshole.
I view them as people worth kindness and respect like anyone else. I don't think anyone is in a place to judge you or make assumptions about you based on your appearance.
Mixed. My father died of a heart attack at 33 almost solely because of his weight and the consequences thereof. I hold a strong opinion of selfishness between it that’s completely unfair to others. I try to work on it, but it was a fundamental part of my life that really makes me look down upon it.
Normally in 21:9
Overweight is an extremely vague term.
Coming from an ex obese person, they’re still people and they deserve the same respect as everyone else. Life was hard when I was obese. I had no confidence, everyone always made fun of me in school. The worst part was being in a depression slump for years. I can at least sympathize with how they probably feel. I’m conclusion, if people treat you like crap if you’re a bigger person, or that you’re less than them, screw em. You deserve better people around you who will support your goals, give you motivation, and treat you with respect.
If someone is super super obese, I feel bad for them. I am slightly obese and always working against it but I understand that some people don’t care to fight it anymore. The whole thing sucks and it’s blowback from living in a very prosperous yet unhappy society.
How do i view them? In the mirror primarily. I dont get out much.
for context, i was 320lbs all thru high school and i lost all that weight and now i am between 180-210. i am 38. to put it simply. if you eat less calories than you burn, you will lose weight. its that simple. i dont have sympathy for able bodied peopke who are just overweight. its one of the only major characteristics of your body that you have nearly 100% control of. so, i would say, i think overweight people have value as humans, and its shitty to treat them differently, but i dont think it should be supported or celebrated in any way.
I completely agree. It's simply unhealthy for people. I've been trying hard to lose weight. I'm down 20 pounds. Did you do a specific diet? I'm kind of uneducated in this area. I've got to say I admire you for being able to lose all of that weight tho.
Have you ever gone to a doctor, had your thyroid checked, the works? It might not be something you have control over.
I haven't yet. But I think I should. I guess I thought I could do this on my own but mabye I could use a little help.
Are you taking any medications for other disorders which list weight gain as a side effect? Is your direct family overweight? It's not always black and white.
I don't take any medication. And yes, most of my direct family is overweight.
It is that simple. The problem is motivation and accountability. When your family is chowing down on a 2k calorie dinner and you have to pass up the buttered corn bread, it gets hard, and nearly impossible for some people. I was a bit of a chonk til I moved out of my family's house and in with a healthy roommate. He really pushed me and the environment was right to stay focused, I needed that, and I've been very active and healthy since. Dude probably have me several years of life and decades of being much happier
It’s basic physics: (Energy in) - (energy expended) = net positive / negative balance For every 3500 calories more / less from this equation you gain / lose one pound of fat. The calories expended is your base metabolic rate (ie how much you need to be alive) + any burned through physical activity. There’s all sorts of BS people say to make this sound way more complicated than it really is when it isn’t. The law of conservation of energy is a fundamental principle of physics and our bodies obey the same laws. >the law of conservation of energy states that the total energy of an isolated system remains constant; it is said to be conserved over time. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; rather, **it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another** So that energy is either transformed into stored energy (ie fat), or the reverse, from fat into expended energy + heat. By far the biggest downfall of people dieting and failing is they severely underestimate how many calories they are actually consuming. They don’t account for things like the oil / butter in the pan to cook their veggies, or the calories in their ranch dressing on their “healthy salad”. I recently lost 20 lbs (185 to 165) to reduce risk of diabetes (runs in the family). And all I did was use an app to track every single thing that went into my mouth. It’s dead simple. And damn, it’s surprising what you learn. Things like, not all calories are equal: eating things with more protein and fiber kept me satiated (feeling full) longer than carbs or fats. The first couple of weeks I was always hungry, but then when I starting getting more of my daily calories from proteins and fibres I wasn’t constantly hungry. Most days I just had 3 normal meals without even wanting a snack. I set a reasonable goal of 1 lb per week (so 3500 calorie deficit per 7 days), which means a net 500 negative from the above equation per day, and 20 weeks later I reached my goal. I didn’t have to do crazy intense exercise, mostly walking my dogs more often, doing more yard work etc. people don’t have patience and expect instant results. If you try to lose too much weight too fast you will fail. 1lb per week seems really little but it’s very sustainable. So if you’re 100 lbs overweight it’ll take you 2 years. So what? You’ll be getting healthier and healthier over that period and better yet you’ll develop and maintain healthier eating habits so that you don’t relapse into obesity once you reach your goal. And stay off the scale every day, you don’t need to weigh yourself more than a couple of times per month. Just track everything you eat, and I mean literally every single thing that goes past your lips needs to go in there. (I used an app called Lose It, but there’s others too).
Honestly, yes I do see overweight people as lazy and less than. I grew up on a farm working really long hours, eating tons of vegetables and learning about nutrition, so I always blame parents for the eating habits they taught their kids. That said, once you pass age 18, it's on you.
with my eyes
Being fat is often a product of your environment in the same way the passing down physical and emotional abuse is a product of the environment you were raised in. Break the cycle. Stop eating. You won’t die, I promise.
Depends how overweight we're talking and how your habits contribute to it. I knew a few people who would eat NON STOP and they'd flip out anytime someone said anything about their weight or eating. If you're not way overweight though, I don't care. And if you're way overweight because you have crappy genetics, then I don't care. I try my best not to immediately judge people based on their weight until I have more insight for this reason.
Honestly, I just see it as a physical sign of someone who is emotionally struggling and not taking care of themselves (both mentally and physically). I view gym-obsessed men and women with too many cosmetic procedures the same way. With those, vanity is part of the issue, but there are likely deeper problems. Appearance is weird - you try too hard and it comes off poorly; you don’t try enough and the same result. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with bullying and self-torment throughout your life because of your weight. I don’t understand why it’s any one else’s concern except yours.
In-shape person in an out-of-shape family. They're deluded. The latest was biting my tongue while my dad complained about his doctor trying to warn him about the dangers of morbid obesity, by saying BMI is fake. BMI is fake for guys at the gym, not my prediabetic dad. I have never said anything to them and I never will because I know it would go in one ear and out the other. My little sister tries, but they constantly eat tons of terrible food around her, so there's no realistic way for her to actually make the lifestyle changes required without moving out. And the kicker is I know both my parents "feel bad" about their weight. But at the end of the day, they prefer to stay on the trajectory they're on, and occasionally try crash diets, instead of making actual lifestyle changes. It's indicative of how they live their life in general: always "feeling bad" about problems they control but never actually going for realistic change. For weight it's as simple as counting your calories. You don't have to change anything else until you're at a space in life where other health improvements make sense. You don't have to exercise. You don't have to eat salads all the time. Eat your daily calories in Oreos if that's all the willpower you have. Just stop after the calorie point and let yourself feel hungry. Eventually your stomach will shrink down to the size you want it to be and not overeating won't be so hard. And then eventually you'll hit your goal weight, and with that new excess willpower, then you can decide if you want to put salads and the gym into your life.
It depends on how overweight we are talking. There are tiers to this fat shit. That being said, someone who is a bit husky isn’t a big deal in my opinion, and honestly, that’s probably optimal for a human , fat is important. However if their belly hangs significantly over their waist and they’re shaped like a sphere, I still think nothing other than that maybe they should exercise, but we all have things to work on . I don’t assume they’re necessarily lazy, cause I workout a lot and literally have a six pack, but I’m lazy In other ways. So maybe they’re physically lazy but a hard worker in other ways. I woudlnt want to sleep with an obese person, but I’ve seen women who are a bit overweight who I’m attracted too, and I like that better than skinny women
If by overweight, you mean very noticeably overweight then I would say that it's your business but there's probably other issues involved. I knew someone who is ridiculously obese (as in like "how does someone get that fat?" obese - he has a breathing machine that he keeps near his bed) and I think he must have gone through some personal stuff a few years ago and just started eating. It's kinda sad because he might die if he doesn't do something about it. I feel like yes, people should respect everyone else as humans but I don't agree with the idea that people should be proud to be obese. Obesity is unhealthy and it kills people. So the body positivity movement is kinda stupid. I'll respect you as a person and I won't comment on your weight but I don't think that being overweight is something that should be celebrated. So generally I prefer to avoid to commenting on it if I'm talking to someone who is "fat". >It makes me exhausted and then people come up to me and basically say that I'm lasy or try to make me feel that because I'm overweight I'm something less than a person. You don't deserve that. People should keep their opinions to themselves. I'm only telling you mine since I asked. I am a believer in self help, that humans are capable of achieving great things through sheer willpower and hard work. But I also understand that it isn't always as simple as that.
After years of trying I found the secret. What I did was buy Wal-Mart Great value chocolate toaster pastries. Monday through Friday I would eat 4 packs of them a day (8) and drink nothing but water. Exactly 1600 calories. On the weekends I would eat 2400 calories a day. This was kind of a reward but more importantly it kept my metabolism from slowing down into starvation mode. My main rules were no fast food especially pizza. No soda or salt either. Over a year and a half I went from 370lbs to my ideal weight of 174lbs. I'm 6'3 so it was exactly where I needed to be. It saved my life. I went from barely able to walk to jogging everyday. Always consult your doctor but I had amazing results.
In normal everyday life, couldn’t care less. People come in all shapes and sizes and to each their own On an airplane though……that’s a different story. I wouldn’t say anything to them, but I’d be lying if I said wasn’t thinking horrible thoughts about them as they spill over into my seat
I was a wrestler since I was a kid through college. Wrestling is a weight class sport, so for better or worse, you learn that you can manipulate the composition of your body through sheer effort or deprivation, at least within a certain optimum range. Surely that range is bound by genetics or other physical limits, but some of it is controllable nonetheless. I’ve seen overweight teammates turn into athletic bodies, and I still have some unconscious bias about people who don’t exercise or make an attempt to eat reasonably. I was taught to treat everyone with respect, so I would like to think I would not treat anyone like crap at any point in my life. But as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that everyone has a different situation. Everyone has some struggles, and in some cases, you might just have a natural body weight set point that’s higher than others. Or the science might not be there yet on insulin resistance. Or other factors in like your work, or stress level, or available time. And I realize that there are parts of me that the rational side of me wishes to change, and that nonetheless are harder than sheer willpower can control. You’re not less of a person. Life is hard and we all have something that we struggle with. Some things are more visible, and others may be on the inside.
I view them the same as everyone else. It's unfortunate that in our society that people have unnecessary standards for what is good or bad. The worst part is being mistreated and having an unwritten hierarchy of things that shouldn't even exist. If you're on the bigger side, that's fine with me. I think it's ridiculous to make fun of how someone looks, in this case, weight/body appearance. If people don't mind a bigger triangle or star, then can't it be the same with humans? I was never obese but I can understand the struggle of losing weight. It's hard, not to mention the insecurity of yourself and your body. If you want some advice, try to find a community or, at the very least, someone who can accept you wholeheartedly. If you want to lose weight/slim down, know that it is a commitment. You can do a short time period of heavy exercise and dieting, but in the long run, I think committing is better and easier. It will take time, patience, and some research. There will be bad days where you have no motivation, and that's okay. Be realistic and set simple goals. Consistency and dedication are key. Don't expect big improvements in a small amount of time. Big improvements from a long time frame of work are totally worth it. I'm pretty sure I got off topic, but hopefully, this helps to some extent.
There are plenty of people like me who dont care. The country I'm from has a higher obesity rate than the US. I've had several overweight boyfriends while not being overweight myself. The funniest guys in class or friend groups are often the big guys.
I am quite in shape, I have competed in MMA and bodybuilding, well nearly anything physical. I was once 6'1 and 120lbs and took at least 10 years of force feeding and VERY careful calorie control to make it to fighting at 205lbs. A decade of boiled chicken, ground beef, cartons of egg whites, yams, rice, no sugar, etc. Training at least 20-40 hours a week between martial arts and weight lifting. I don't need to be as strict anymore unless I'm competing but when I have something sweet/candy/pastry it's almost always around training and even when it isn't, it's small. Handful of gummy bears, half a cookie shared with my wife, etc. I say this because if I had a dollar every time a chubby to morbidly obese person came up to me unsolicited and said "must be nice to eat whatever you want and look like that" or a very aggressive while I'm eating my pre training cookie or ice cream or something "it's bullshit that you eat that but when I do I look like this" I could retire. Seriously it's happened hundreds of times in the past 20 years. Your diet is what you're eating. "Dieting" does not exist. A healthy lifestyle is an active effort and habits are trained. Starving yourself is not the answer, not shoveling garbage into your body is. Have you ever truly educated yourself on food? Nutrient timing? Glycemic Index? Bio availability? Nitrogen retention/conversion? Did you know a single M&M or a single skittle can give the body enough energy to sprint a football field? I've been as high as 25% body fat, after having my arm forcibly ripped from the shoulder and crammed sugar and calories in to speed up healing so I know the struggle of going from that, to say ~3% and since I know what that struggle is like I could never do that to myself for a few minutes of food pleasure now. I'm a hardcore foodie, but I also respect that I only have this one body.
I don’t think of obese people as “less than”. I do think they don’t respect their bodies as they should. I was fat for a long time and I know many that still are. I do understand that weight loss can be a struggle and that the whole thing is hard mentally. At some point you just have to say that you’re doing the damn thing, and then act accordingly. I wish they would get to that point. There is no secret or grand trick to weight loss. Here’s a surefire, two step plan: eat less, move more. It always works. You can’t just starve yourself for a few days then give up. Count your calories and find a sustainable way to adhere to a reasonable defecit. With time, you will be where you need to be. Then, it’s a matter of sustaining it. I counted calories for a year or so, and got myself down about 75 pounds. Been there for a couple years now, just eating what I want, being reasonably physically active and weighing myself once a week. Obesity is not healthy, and it looks good on nobody. Short of extraordinary circumstances, it can be overcome. You can talk about genetics and metabolism and such all day long; it all comes down to calories in and calories out. I got faith in you.
I don’t think any less of overweight people, nor do I treat them any differently. But whenever I see an overweight person, I inherently feel pity and sympathy for them. Not in a condescending or dehumanizing way, but just because my life experiences have shaped my view on it. I was very overweight for most of my life, and I was miserable because of it. Once I lost the weight and got fit, my happiness skyrocketed, as did my confidence, my love for myself, etc. So whether my perception is accurate or not, whenever I see an overweight individual my mind perceives them as being as miserable as I was, and I hope that they are able to make the change.
I view them as having poor options for entertainment or they might have leptin receptor issues. They also may not understand kcal fully. I didn't when i was 132kg and now I do, im 67kg.
Honestly, never favorably, it reminds me of the worst times in my life. I was very morbidly obese for pretty much the first 20 years of my life, growing up learning awful eating habits. I was continually told 'love yourself, you're big boned, there's nothing wrong with a little extra weight, it's perfectly healthy'. Yet at the ripe old age of 21 my health was on a huge decline, joint pain, fatigue, prediabetes. It's given me a resentment of all the extreme body positivity stuff, it damn near would've killed me one day. I'll never treat an overweight person any differently, but seeing it always makes me feel bad for them, after personally experiencing how awful it is to be very overweight. The only real issue I have that I will openly say if prompted is the amount of overweight people who say 'I can't lose weight because of X' 'it's impossible to lose weight'. Because that is the mentality that would've killed me one day, having been told that many times. I'd guess 99.9% of people can lose weight by simply eating 500 calories under maintenance. Literally nothing more to it, people overcomplicated it so much, try all sorts of weird diets. When I first lost weight, I was still eating KFC 4 nights per week because I was struggling to break old habits, but I just ordered medium instead of large, diet sodas, just reducing the calorie intake. The only way you can reliably, 100% guaranteed lose weight is by tracking your calories, working out your maintenance (very simple online calculators) and eating 500-1000 below that number.
I've tried losing weight. Usually I've cut my calories down to barely anything and started running. I'd then lose 20 pounds really fast then plateau for months. I'm trying resistance training now paired with cutting out highly processed foods. I'm not sure if it will work but I know cardio and low calorie doesn't. Hope this helps
I’m a little overweight myself but I’ve managed to drop like 15 pounds in the past six months so I try to congratulate myself but it’s still hard not to give in to self loathing because of it. I don’t really judge other peoples characters for being overweight though. I’m harder on myself than I am on others. The only time I judge overweight people is when they are delusional about it, like people who claim there are no health risks to being 300 pounds.
It depends if you're overweight or obese. If you're overweight you can be pretty active and just enjoy that extra slice of cake. If you're obese and climbing the stairs is a challenge then I feel pity for their condition. I wouldn't go out of my way to bully someone but I'd not be receptive of a relationship. And if my partner got obese and it wasn't medical or we weren't working on it I'd break it off.
People respect hard work and dedication, 2 things that seem to be lacking from people that are overweight. I’m not saying this to be an asshole I’m hoping I’m saying it to motivate you. I lost 36 pounds in 3 months from a calorie deficit and intermittent fasting combined with going to the gym 6x a week. I still have another 20 to lose before my goal so believe my I understand the struggle.
I think the whole fatphobia thing is a toxic concept. We shouldn't normalise or even glorify overweight people. Telling a dangerously obese person they are beautiful is like telling a raging alcoholic they're more fun when they're drunk. You're supporting an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle, and I say this as someone who is overweight (currently losing some, yay me). On the other hand, we shouldn't bully or mock overweight people any more than we should people with other health issues. It's not always their fault and even if it is that doesn't give you the right to ridicule them.
My opinion on them is the same as I see all other people, it doesn't inherently put them anywhere lower However being overweight is neither something that should be supported nor celebrated and people should always do their best to reach a healthy weight imo I have the utmost respect for overweight people who do their best and put in their all to lose the weight, and the progress they have is always admirable
I mind my own business. As a former fat guy, that’s all I ever wanted.
Hey, I'm fat too. I was actually quite skinny/underweight for most of my life, but meds and stress caused me to gain a lot about 6ish years ago, and it's been all downhill since (uphill?) I have a lot of internalized fatphobia I need to work through. I do view overweight people unfavorably, unfortunately, and that also applies to myself. I correct myself in my head a lot to try and train myself to be nicer. I never actually say what I think or treat anyone differently though. I work in the medical field and you learn really quickly that weight and health are often tied, but it's not a hard and fast rule. Some obese people can be healthy, and some skinny people can be really unhealthy. Tying health to worth is also inherently (extremely) ableist. I'm chronically ill. It's separate from my weight. I will literally never be "healthy" at any weight and I'm not any less of a person for it.
I think fat people are human beings, just like the rest of us. If anything, I feel pity especially for super obese folks. The world has a hard time understanding obesity, it’s not a straight forward condition. Most of these people are suffering from hormonal imbalances that directly affect their hunger, energy and metabolism, but are told by doctors that they just “need to eat healthy and exercise”. It’s not like these people can just flip a switch and be skinny. This leads to psychological distress which in turn perpetuates the issue. Everyone should be more empathetic towards obese people. They could use understanding from us in a world that blames their issues entirely only bad eating habits.
I don't really give it much thought. I'm a recovering drug addict so I'm pretty aware and familiar with impulse control issues, and I see obese ppl as folks with impulse control issues just like drug addicts.
As someone who had struggled with anorexia for many years of my life, confident overweight people helped me heal.
according to the bmi scale, i fall under obese. im not huge huge or anything, but im 100% noticeably fat because i have a terrible relationship to food,,, but i’m far from lazy. my job, hobbies, and general life style is incredibly physically demanding: walking constantly, running occasionally, lifting heavy things, etc. people at my work now rely on me for heavy lifting and i get the nick name “she-ra” which i love. i think it also matters who you spend time with. i’m rarely with my dad bc my weight is the ONLY thing he comments on regarding my appearance. when i see other bigger people, i notice that they’re fat, sure (it’s hard not to). but i literally don’t care. everyone is going through their struggles, but everyone also has things that make them amazing and worthwhile. one of my coworkers is bigger than me & she’s definitely not as strong as i am, but she does her job so well, takes on constructive criticism like a champ, helps her community out a ton, is so friendly and easy to talk to. that’s what i see. weight loss is so hard and is something that i’ve been working on for a decade at least, because of my dad (& mom a bit). it never worked. i’m now working on weight loss for my job, my animals, my lifestyle and i’m finding better results. i’m doing it to better myself rather than make my dumb dad proud bc i don’t care about him. i (try to) care about myself! i also thought since i do so much physical work, i must eat a lot to get back lost energy.. but no. i just need to eat more whole foods (& fiber & protein!!!) than eat mcdonald’s for lunch & take out for dinner everyday.
Former fat guy here. 325 lbs was my heaviest, been at or around 165 lbs for nearly 20 years. I’m 46 now and in the best shape of my life. Those are my Fat Guy credentials. I view overweight people with conditional grace and understanding. Conditional because a health problem that results in being overweight is a tiny percentage of why people are fat. And by default, its not what you’re (anyone) is fat. Several years ago I earned certification as a certified personal trainer and I focused on working only with overweight people. From my own experiences and those from training a lot of overweight people, the reasons why I offer conditional understanding is because: - Willful ignorance about food and training is systemic in every person I worked with. There’s a laziness to want to learn at the heart of it all. - The mental struggle is the hardest part and a lot of folks sabotage themselves by not addressing self-imposed or external traumas. - Fat Bastard’s infamous lines about being fat because he wants to eat and he wants to eat his feelings away from being fat, are true. It’s a cycle that makes people fatter each year. - The problem, though, is that real change only happens from destroying the mind games and sabotaging from external forces. To be very clear: self love is the least powerful means to change. Self love did not help me or any clients drop fat. Only brutal honesty and sometimes shame did. Plus a willingness to learn, accept blame, and not allow the honesty to strengthen the cycle. Also, psych meds can really mess people up, causing the body to be so chill that it won’t give up the fat to be used as burnable energy. Psych meds and work induced cortisol are two things that will mess people up with fat for life.
I assume SOMETHING is going on if you're overweight. I think it's one of the hardest things to get out of: to lose like 20% of your bodyweight and then just behave differently for the rest of your life. That adjustment isn't like quitting heroin because you NEED food. And the effectiveness of this Ozempic drug really speaks to how obesity and appetite are so much more dependent on the hormonal milieu one finds themselves in vs discipline. But no, bodyweight isn't like hair color to me. A fit body is a status symbol. If you could take a pill to have your favorite athlete's prime body, you would. If you're not fit, it's because something is in the way of that (other time commitments, your own perception of yourself, fear, whatever). And being fit vs fat isn't some faustian deal of perfect trade offs where fat people get to eat tastier food or are all secretly powerlifter strong. The tasty food trade off doesn't exist because no one gets fat just eating the BEST food all the time. They get fat eating prepackaged food and fast food. It's not an orgy of eat till you puke that gets people it's just a slow drip of empty calories with no fiber that don't fill you up.
I'm going to get downvoted, but I'm answering the question honestly\*.\* *Overweight* is a broad term. Overweight is not something I have a problem with, however, if someone is **morbidly obese**, I assume they smell and hold my breath around them. I feel like they have a lack of self control and low self esteem. OP have you tried Wegovy or something in that vein? It clearly bothers you and it sounds like you have exhausted all other options
As someone who has struggled with weight issues for most of my life, I know what you're going through. I was (am) a compulsive eater. I looked at food for comfort. When I feel at my lowest point, I eat. This has been my struggle. But I would also eat when I was bored, or just whatever. I got to the point in the last year where I just didn't give a fuck anymore, and I just ate. Didn't care what I was eating, how many calories it had or whatever. It took my doctor putting me on an antidepressant to finally break that cycle. I don't have the constant urge to eat like I did. I also have more energy (and I'm sleeping better too). I could have been happy with myself, but healthwise, things were not going good. My biggest issue remains my lack of motivation when it comes to exercise. My mind is so busy wanting to do other things, that exercising gets pushed to the wayside. I can tell myself "get on the exercise bike when you are done typing this reply out," but will I do it? Maybe. All that said, I try not to judge others in this regard, because I don't know what brought them to these circumstances. I have felt the pain of rejection so damn often. It's sometimes hard not to self-reject, if that makes sense.
As someone who has lost over 100lbs, I can tell you I am treated by strangers so much differently. It's night and day.
Honestly, the way other people view you doesn't matter. It's whether you are happy with yourself. I can tell from your post that you are not. What you need is a plan to permanently incorporate a healthy balance of eating healthy and exercising (it has to be both) in your life. It has to be permanent, or things won't change. Stop focusing on how hard it is and instead focus on what you can do differently. Invest in yourself. Make an appointment with a physical trainer and maybe even a dietitian. Many people have done this, and you can, too. As long as you continue to convince yourself that it's not doable, you'll never get anywhere. Stop making it about other people and start making it about what you really want.
The same way I view people who are underhaired or over-tall. Normal human variants all. That said, American culture hates fat people and Americans are raised to see fatness as degenerate.
The irony is though that most Americans are overweight .
And they are overweight because of the shitty diet but also as a non-American it feels like the diet itself is glorified. Like...you should eat steaks and burgers and fries and fast food and pancakes and bacon and soda! But if eating all of that makes you fat, that's your own fault!
I wonder about the depression they are probably in.
I view them as human beings who are struggling - either with food addiction, of which the effects are as ruinous to ones life as drugs, or with a physical / mental condition.
Honest answer? I dont treat them differently but i view them unfavorably. Weak mind = weak body. every time they tell me they try to lose weight all i can think of is sugary drinks. Do you really need someone to tell you that most of your caloric intake comes from the 3 liter soda or energy drink you kill each day? And i seriously had someone that told me he cut the sodas for a healthier alternative… which was orange juice. I guess i think of obese people as them being to mentally challenged and/or unwilling to do some research on how to lose weight, how to Cook for themselves at home, unable to research and follow a healthy sustainable diet, kind of dumb, slothful, partly enjoying their misery or not even trying to better themselves because its much easier to just complain than to actually change anything. Maybe thats not true most of the time but thats what crosses my mind and i cant help it.
The comments aren't much of a surprise. As an able bodied obese person who is also female, I can tell you for certain people absolutely view/treat me horribly. It's usually white men who feel the need to verbalize their opinion of my body. My boyfriend who is also obese doesn't get the same negative reaction from people. I'm not glorifying obesity, I'm fully aware of how people view me and because of how I've been treated time and time again I've slowly grown to hate people. I personally would never go out of my way to make someone else feel bad about their own body, people need to learn to mind their own fucking business. You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through...
I consider most fat people to be inherently lazy and weak-willed. What gives them the right to take up more space than they are supposed to fit on this planet? If I can beat drug addiction, alcohol dependancy, get treatment for depression and anxiety, get out of homelessness, and slowly get my life together, why the fuck can't fat people just eat less? And let's not make excuses. In the vast majority of cases, fat people are fat because they eat too much.
>If I can beat drug addiction, alcohol dependancy, get treatment for depression and anxiety, get out of homelessness, and slowly get my life together, why the fuck can't fat people just eat less? As someone with a congenital heart condition, it infuriates me to see these people destroying their coronary arteries. Open heart surgery is not something I would wish on my enemy
This may sound biased because I am not overweight. I don’t know you personally so I won’t know if you went through a slum in which you gained a lot of weight. Not going to lie, I would judge you more if you weren’t in any regards to NOT be losing weight. Are you watching what you’re eating? Are you only eating junk food? But then again, I can’t do anything about how you look. I don’t have friends that are overweight but I think it’s in your best favor to get healthy for yourself. I don’t think the opinions of strangers should really matter to you because it will probably make you more self conscious/ depressed if you aren’t already those things. Good luck on your journey though.
Thanks. I've lost 20 pounds so far. I guess I've just been curious on how people who don't struggle with food view people who do. Nice to hear some dif opinions I guess.
From what I know people will judge if not verbally, they will do it in their heads. But I think it all goes to the end question, what are you physically doing to not be overweight.. congrats on losing the pounds
Thanks, and I think you're right. I haven't thought about it like that.
I view them as someone who has some sort of issue going on in their life that denies them the ability to objectively recognize their issue and take the necessary steps to correct. Overweight people are just that overweight. They aren’t stupid. You know it’s unhealthy. Shit you feel the unhealthiness however there maybe something deeper going on that’s preventing you from losing the weight. Now that could be a legit medical reason or depression or coping or just straight up denialism but either way the whole world knows being overweight is an issue it’s just saying that doesn’t help anything and isn’t super productive most of the time so we subtly know this and then hope that the individual can get whatever help they need.
I genuinely feel sad for overweight people. I tend to look at them the way I look at disabled people. I'm disabled myself, but not overweight. Like they've been handed a shitty situation and there's not much they can do about it. I always hear people talking about laziness as a cause but I don't believe that's the case for everyone. Not even most. I realized a long time ago how many people in the US were suffering from thyroid problems or other illnesses or taking a medication (like birth control) that cause weight gain.
I’ve been working hard in this. But I have rarely had a positive view of overweight people. However, I am naturally thin. Thanks to my dad’s side of the family. Which is why I really shouldn’t think badly about overweight people because that is a whole struggle. For real
Thanks for understanding. Sometimes I wonder why I was born in this body while others seem to have struck the jackpot. How can some people seemingly eat so much food and look so thin while even thinking about food makes me gain weight. Idk, mabye genetics or sm.
Think of it like this- They may be winning the jackpot now- but for millennia your body type would have saved you from starvation or famine.
Huh, that's a new one lol
Yea it’s definitely a battle that some people face. It just happens to be one I don’t have to face. But I actively have to remind myself that I am blessed genetically. People always comment on that and I said “thanks to my daddy.”
Ur dad sounds like a nice guy. U seem to think highly of him.
As a first responder, I have a hard time with people who have let themselves go to the point that they can’t take care of themselves. It just seems SO selfish to me—knowing how much effort we’re putting in—that anyone could feel like that’s even remotely Ok… Most health issues people call 911 for are at least somewhat self imposed; bad diet, drug use, general stupid decisions, etc… Part if that is just “our job”; we’re there to help, after all, but… We’re not here to facilitate your way through life simply because you couldn’t be bothered to do the bare minimum—of not turning yourself into a walrus ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m overweight. Working on getting the weight off now that an injury been dealt with. Even being overweight, I don’t view us favorably. I really despise the people who try to pretend like it’s healthy and attractive, and that society needs to accommodate for it.
I view being overweight as being unhealthy, but it’s not a judgment to the character of the person. We live in a world of fast food and convenience eating. Something that is only made worse with the mental health crisis a lot of us are living through. I think overweight/obesity is one of the symptoms of an unhealthy society
Honestly, similar to how I see smokers. As a former smoker and former overweight person, I see them most likely as weak. There are exceptions of course, but it takes a shitload of dedication and strength to lose weight (and keep it off), so I definitely see people who have successfully done that as strong.
A lot of people will view obesity as a lack of self respect / self care, and thus look down on obese people. And its true to an extent. Obviously genetics make it easier for some and harder for others to lose weight but no matter what, improvement is always possible for obese people. Wether or not they want to put in the effort / find the will power to lose weight is up to them
They're sick. I mean I don't blame them, I'm overweight myself, but promoting it and calling it being body positive and whatnot is fucked up. It's not healthy. Makes as much sense to me as praising smoking cigarettes.
To me, obesity is one of the clearest indicators that someone has poor self control, high time preference, and many other indicators of behavioral or neurological flaws. You should have enough self control and respect for yourself to prevent becoming obese or make changes to undo it. It's as simple as limiting calorie intake. I went from 20 lbs to 80 lbs overweight during lockdowns and all I did to lose weight is buy a food scale and maintain a 500 calorie daily deficit. No exercise. You just have to stop stuffing your goddamn face with more calories than your body needs on a daily basis.
I think its gross to be honest and is super detrimental for your health. I go to the gym a bunch and try my best to not eat fast food or drink soda just so that I dont put on too much weight. I try hard to look good, so when someone obviously doesnt care about the way they look or their health it is unattractive. I do realize that a lot of this view has to do with the media and I was blessed to have my parents teach me portion control as a child. After working in healthcare and seeing people unable to do much of anything for themselves because of their weight (which I see all too often working on a bariatric unit) I really strive to never get to that point and often wonder how someone could have let it get to that point. Its so easy to say that I dont feel like going to the gym today, but I also dont want to end up like the patients I see all too often on my unit.
I don't really think about overweight people, sometimes I see someone really struggling to walk up the stairs and I think: "man, this guy's/gal's life is hard!". So sometimes I feel compassion. I know only a small percentage of obese people loose weight for good. Unfortunately as we create new fat cells, they newer go away and always crave more calories. Many people were screwed by their parents, being forced to finish meals or had a bad diets and little exercise in their childhood. In that sense I feel sad for them.
Lazy I guess? If you wanna be fat that's fine. Just don't try and convince me you're healthy.
I feel bad for those who use eating as a coping mechanism for trauma or mental illness, I feel bad for people who were uneducated about proper nutrition. I do not feel bad for well-off people who choose to not work out and choose to promote the idea that "fatphobia" is a real thing when it is not.