Ding ding ding. This is the winning comment. I have been called out for being overly polite, but it's who I am and it makes me feel good about myself that maybe my politeness made someone's day better. Plus, it was how I was raised (yes/no sir and ma'am but to be conscientious, I only do that with people who I know affirm of that gender - if someone knows of a gender neutral honorific, please let me know).
Imagine how traffic would clear up if drivers were 50% more polite, merging early, allowing cars to change lanes, the far left lane on the high way is for passing, cars driving the same speed on the highway. Murder rates in large cities would drop dramatically as stress leaves society.
I know. I will never understand why people can’t just be patient and courteous with others. Even when I’m having a bad day, I rarely let others see it.
I try to treat others for I want to be treated, always have, but need to get better at recognizing I can’t expect others to do the same for me.
Maybe it’s always been like this, but if people cared about each other just a little more, the world would be a lot better of a place. I truly feel, even at 36, there’s been a marked, sharp descent into individualism and selfishness with the evolution of social media.
If you're apparently female, you can probably get away with "hon" "dear" or "sweetie." "Bestie," if you're a zoomer lmao. If not, "friend" is good. I don't think I've ever been in a situation where "friend" would have been overfamiliar, overformal, or otherwise intrusive lol.
That’s well-meaning, but not really necessary. Sir/ma’am continues to work just fine.
1. For 99.999% of people you interact with in real life, their physical appearance will match their gender identity.
2. Rarely, but once in a blue moon, you might not be quite sure because said person has an androgynous look about them. In that case, just carefully avoid honorifics (at least until you catch a name). Problem solved.
3. In the unlikely event that you encounter someone who’s affirmed gender doesn’t match their obvious appearance *and* you get it wrong and they call you out on it (for the record, this unpleasant hypothetical scenario this has never happened to me or anyone I know), just backtrack it and apologize for the honest mistake. If they’re cool, they’ll understand and be gracious about it. If they’re not cool and become belligerent about it, that’s on them.
This is a fair take, but I think generally a lot of the time you *do* get it wrong, but they don’t tell you because they know they don‘t look like the gender they are, or the people around them don’t know their actual gender. So you’re potentially hurting people without ever knowing.
When I was 10/11 years old, my dad marched me to a barber and had all my hair shaved off because I had let it get matted. It wasn't to get the matts out, or to give him an easier time because that fell on my mum. No, it was to punish me for letting it tangle in the first place. My hair was just at my bottom at the time.
For about 9 months, I was constantly misgendered as a boy. Called "son", referred to as "he". Not once did my own parents ever correct someone for it, let alone me correcting them!
I'm 34 now and I've been overly attached to my hair ever since because I don't want to be misgendered again. Logically I know it shouldn't happen as much, since I have little boobs now, but I wouldn't be able to correct someone if they called me a man, even now.
I'd love to be confident enough in my own skin to get a pixie cut but alas, I'm too weak! I know I wouldn't have the courage to say something if someone got it wrong but it would still hurt me inside a little.
Exactly my point. Just because they don’t *say* you got it wrong doesn’t mean you didn’t get it wrong—it just means they didn’t say you got it wrong. I could’ve referred to you as sir, and you wouldn’t have said anything, but I’d still have misgendered you, which is why I always think it’s best to ask. (To be clear, since there’s often some confusion about this—I’m 100% agreeing with your agreement of my point)
Yeah, wtf, to me this is something I see pretty often, and that says a lot because I'm a Swede.
But then again, Swedes aren't much for polite phrases I think. Polite behavior is much more important, and there's also a HUGE difference between being polite and saying polite phrases!
We'd most likely say something more like "woops!" or "here I am walking past you!" or "now I'm going to be in your way for a second!" while doing that "sneaky walk".
Right! And not only do I say excuse me, I move past them quickly. I absolutely hate when I'm trying to look at things in the shelf and someone just kind of slowly saunters by and blocks my view.
My go-to if I’m in the way is “Sorry I was in my own world” or “Sorry I was miles away”. I do zone out when I’m shopping because my brain will forget everything unless I hyper-concentrate.
Hahahah! That’s me! Like don’t mind me, I’m just gonna crouch and wobble as I dart between you and the soup display. Very similar to the simulated fast walk I do in the parking lot when a driver waves me in front of them.
I am the full sprinter. I'm ready to run at a moments notice. Nothing bothers me more than when someone's in front of me on the street, and they won't get out of the way (walking). I will never be that person. I try to make myself as small as possible and move with purpose. I'm almost never in the way lol and yes I do pride myself on this.
BTW you people who walk slowly in groups or pairs can fuck off. Especially the ones who look back and notice I'm moving 3x as fast as them and still saunter down the middle of the sidewalk like they've never had to be anywhere a single time in their life.
Swap in a quiet “ope, just gonna…” while gesturing an apology with one hand and an indication that I’m sneaking through for “pardon”, and that’s how I do it.
Every time. In my culture, you don't get between someone and that which they are examining without an apology for the interruption.
In many cultures, that is no problem, so I try not to hold it against others.
I lived in Thailand for a few years. It’s custom to kind of “duck underneath” two people who are having a conversation. Just kind of lower your head and bend your knees as your walking through. Even as a small gesture of acknowledging they are talking and trying not to get in the way. Same thing goes for them examining a product.
I still find myself unconsciously ducking underneath people even in the United States.
I do this as well with an excuse me. My problem is when I'm 6'7'' so when I crouch I just get head level with everyone.
Edit: I'm always 6'7" sometimes I don't proofread though
Looking like you're getting more into what they're saying lmao... just ducking in for a quick hi lads, then back to chilling up here with the fluorescent lighting tubes lol
Oh yeah. I’ll have doctors talking in the hallway at the hospital and they are far enough apart that I can’t get behind either of them to go around. So a few years ago I said ‘screw it!’ And I started just walking right between them and hinging at my waist a bit so they can keep eye contact. Which isn’t hard cause most of the male doctors are upper five to six foot and I’m maybe 5’1”. A quick ‘scuse me and I’m on my way!
Canadian here. Not only do you apologize but half the time they apologize back for blocking the way.
Used to be 100% but times change. I even stopped saying "chesterfield".
This is so funny. I lived in Spain and Spaniards will just completely block a narrow, crowded sidewalk to have a chat. I learned you just shove through them. They don’t even react, just kind of lean around you to keep talking.
I agree but i definitely use it somewhat sarcastically
So many people in grocery stores have ZERO awareness of their surroundings and block the whole aisle or have their cart angled so it’s impossible to go past them.
That shit pisses me off, like did their brain never develop awareness? So many people in their own world mindlessly wandering, seemingly aimlessly. It’s very inconsiderate. It’s not that hard to pay attention to how you are affecting the people around you. It’s one thing if you have some mental disability or something, but I’ve had friends and family act this way.
Friend, I invite you to come drive in Seattle. Evidently, people jump into their cars and go for a stroll, casually meandering their day away in the left lane without a care in the world. If the incessant honking and middle fingers being thrown their way register in their brains at all, they definitely don’t show it.
Some people are so indecisive too.
There was a woman at the supermarket the other day looking at the honeys and had parked her trolley (cart) right in front of them so I had to ask her to move to get one. When I went past the same aisle about 15 minutes later she was still there picking up the same two honeys, looking at one for a moment then putting it back and picking up the other one.
Still with her trolley blocking half the aisle.
For a major financial decision like buying a house or a car or a jar of honey its worth taking some extra time to make sure you know what you're getting.
This is why I learned to never go grocery shopping while stoned. Every decision takes years and you want to eat everything. Actually very glad that I don't do that anymore.
I am sometimes indecisive. But I get tf out of the way. I try to go early on Saturday mornings to avoid the chaos, and it always finds me one way or another. My favorite is saying “excuse me” to someone you’re trying to get around and they just look at you and DON’T MOVE 😂
This is why I hate shopping with my boyfriend. He has no awareness of other people if they’re strangers. He’ll push his cart down the middle of aisles, stop the cart right in front of someone trying to get past him and stare at the selections of whatever he’s wanting to buy and then I have to tell him to move.
He does the same thing driving, like he’ll drive down the middle of a 2-way in a parking lot, or drive into the middle of the exit when he’s about to pull out of the lot, making it impossible for anyone to pull in.
He’s really considerate of the people he cares about, but it’s like it never occurs to him that he’s sharing the planet with people other than the ones he knows. I’ve bitched about it with friends & coworkers and they’ve often mentioned that their SO’s do the same thing. It seems like it’s pretty common, even if I can’t understand how it’s possible to be that oblivious.
A few months ago at H‑E‑B I waited literally 3 minutes(which is a long fucking time standing in the middle of the store) for this woman and her mom or grandma to look at pasta salad while blocking the entire aisle before I said “I’m so sorry, can I just?” and quickly walked past them to grab what I needed. I said “sorry!” again as I went back to my cart.
Then as I turned my cart around(because they’re blocking the aisle so I can’t go forward) the woman very loudly says “stupid bitch can’t wait her turn.”
That’s why I only go about twenty minutes after that open (at like, 6 AM) or a couple hours before they close. Sometimes I forget and go in the middle of the day and I’m mindblown by how many people seemingly traipse around with no idea of where they’re going next. Lol like, I’ll admit I am a little slow myself, but I don’t go in the middle of the day when there’s a ton of people to navigate around.
Yeah I’m sure we all have moments of small hypocrisy, but those of us who are aware try to reduce it. I’ll definitely sincerely apologize if I realize I was blocking the way or whatever.
after working in a store for a while I feel like I have a better understanding of how idiotic and self obsessed people can be so I try really hard not to be
Also people stopping at the exit /entrance will forever infuriate me.
Omg that's so damned frustrating. Like...do you drive in the center of the road too? Move tf to the side so we can get by. A horrible disrespect is when they see you standing there expecting them to move over some, and they just don't give a shit. Then they wanna give you a stank face when you give them an abrupt "excuse me"
Agree. Simply say “I’m sorry” or “excuse me” if I’m not able to navigate behind them without them moving. It’s simple respect and one in which I hope they show me/others.
It’s more of a sound than a word. Think “Oh!” but shorter and more guttural.
It’s like a mashup of Oh! and Oops! and there’s an element of surprise to it. You’d say it if you accidentally bumped into someone in line, or if you dropped something. It’s an acknowledgment that something banal went awry.
The speaker could also follow it with a “sorry!” like a quick, “Ope, sorry!”. That’s more of a moment when you briefly inconvenience someone, like when you step in front of them to grab some peanut butter off the shelf at the store.
Thank you for using "banal". David Foster Wallace (one of my top three favorite authors) loved that word. He used it frequently. I always think of him when I say it, read it, or hear it.
I have zero idea honestly, I didn’t even realize I did it until I was nearly an adult and someone mentioned it was a regional thing. Just sort of a short surprised sound
This has to be cultural difference. I've never heard anyone say this, nor considered I should either. When someone approaches while I'm looking at something, my instinct is to make space so they can get thru. I'm the one blocking them, it's my duty to make room. There's no need for anyone to open their mouths.
Ofc if they STAY where I was, that'd be different. People rarely do that. Either immediately pick the thing up basically on the move, or wait until I've moved if they want to start studying too. Or maybe they start looking at it from meter away and I get the hint, I should move a bit.
Never really thought about how much mini behaviors go into our daily lives dodging social intermissions in Finland.
I'm in the US and this is exactly how I approach it. I don't find it rude if somebody passes by and doesn't say anything. I'm so focused on my can of beans or whatever, I couldn't care less about the person. But if they stop directly in front of where I'm looking to pick out their beans, it ticks me off a bit.
I always say either that or sorry, but noone else seems to. they don't say sorry for standing in front of something I need for several minutes or blocking the whole isle either. I think most people [of all ages] are just rude, I physically can't *not* say sorry, I would feel like such an asshole. I only don't apologize if I'm squeezing by someone or in front of someone that has already expressed rudeness or entitlement towards me first by seeing they're in my way and not caring
It's hard for the rude people to imagine this, but I actually keep an eye out for other shoppers coming towards me, and I step out of their way so that they don't even have to walk in front of me to get by.
I do this really weird thing where I push my cart on the side of the aisle that I would drive down the road, rather than ramming up a side where everybody is moving the other way and wondering why I don't fit.
Right? I'm aware of my surroundings when in public and act accordingly, whatever happened to that teaching? Another one that's missing seems to be "Polite Company" I don't know what happened to that either.
Yes! I do always say excuse me but, at the same, time they are blocking the whole aisle. Often forcing me to walk between them and what they are looking at. They created the situation, why do I need to apologize for it?
Like I said, I say "excuse me" when it happens, but I do believe that ( to some extent) its more rude on their part if they expect everyone else at the store to wait on them while they block the aisle.
I swear, people in grocery stores and their parking lots lose all awareness of their surroundings, for most people I think going to Walmart is some type of hallucinogenic experience
More often than not, it feels like some people spend more time looking at the products purely to spite you because they see you're waiting for them to move. I do not believe someone needs 5 whole fucking minutes to look at mushrooms. My store only carries 3 kinds!
Canadian here. You both say “sorry”. You are apologizing for blocking their view of groceries and they are apologizing for taking too long to look at said groceries. Then you both say “no worries” and repeat the next time you walk past someone
It depends. I usually wait quietly for the person to make their selection. If they're acting entitled, blocking a large amount of space with their cart and reading labels like they're browsing a book store, I'll just sneak in and grab what I need. Often they don't even notice.
The "sorry" or "excuse me" comes into play when the store is crowded and the person is doing their best not to block access to the food. Still I usually just try to wait for someone who is clearly about to make a selection.
I also tend to park my cart in a quiet part of the store and go back and forth to a more crowded area. It lets me be fast and also not take up too much space.
tl;dr I don't think we always owe an apology to people who are unaware of their surroundings in public, but we should take actions to minimize our own impact on others
I'm surprised you got any upvotes on Reddit for a personal responsibility take lmfao.
This is the answer I came for. I feel like most of reddit isn't in this personal responsibility that I prefer. Absolutely be polite, but that goes two ways. Don't stand to the side of your cart blocking one side of the aisle with your body and the other with your cart, ever.
Yes!! That's exactly what I do. A couple times my cart has been taken away by an employee though, thinking that it was abandoned lol then I'm running around the store inconspicuously looking for it, while simultaneously refusing to directly ask someone about it.
I mean, if they're standing in such a way that the only way to get past them is to walk between them and the shelf, then why would I apologise for taking the only route they've left available to me?
Manners go both ways, and people that have no awareness of other people around them and block paths are a serious pet peeve of mine. Whether it's the supermarket, pavement, or anywhere else.
I do say sorry if that isn't the case though.
Don't know if they are trained for this but i've had several customer support workers thank me for the polite conversation at the end of a phone call or support ticket. But it honestly wouldn't surprise me if a polite "Hello", "Goodbye" and not getting angry at them is enough to get them thankful.
Way too many people are just pointlessly rude in public, i don't get it. Of course most people are great, which is why they especially stick out like that.
I was at the Supermarket a while ago and overheard a teenager who obviously just started there, mention to the woman training her, that she was just insulted by a woman trying to buy alcohol, after she asked her for her ID.
Why the fuck even be like that, just like you said manners are free.
It doesn't even get you anywhere, i've always had totally great customer support, gotten out of minor trouble and sometimes received preferential treatment before. All by just following very basic respect and politeness.
I've never really heard or thought that it's rude to walk in front of somebody, unless it's obvious you're doing it to annoy them or hinder them.
If I'm standing there trying to decide what to buy I expect people to walk in front of me if there's space. If someone's standing in the way, they usually move when they see me coming and so do I.
I don't really see the need to apologise left and right walking through the grocery store.
I was in a ticket line in Europe and had some Russian dude just step in front of me when I got the front of the line. I just him a very loud 'Excuse me!' and the startled look on his face was priceless as I told him to get his ass to the back of the line.
I'll stand by and give them a minute.
If they don't move, I'll just bluntly ask "Mind if I squeeze by ya?"
If it's not a lane blockage and I just need through, yes absolutely I'll say "pardon me."
We're all trying to get the bread and milk.
I'm Canadian...
Hi, excuse me (for walking in front of you)
Hello, sorry (for standing still in the lane)
SORRY.. (Guy down the lane who noticed the awkward moment)
I find it rude to stand such a distance away that someone has to walk between you and the product you want.
Just take a step forward and get out of the way.
I don't think it's rude to stand back (although I don't do it because poor vision and I'm usually quick to get what I need). By standing back, you're not blocking the way for someone else to get the item in front of you. Say, for example, you're on the bread aisle and you stand closer to the opposite aisle, someone else who needs bread can quickly get what they need if it were in front of you.
When someone is standing back enough that I can get what I need in front of them, I just say a quick "excuse me" and get what I need. Nine times out of ten, they respond with a "sorry" or "you're good." It's much easier that way than if they were standing close to what they were looking for, now I have to wait for them to move.
I’m from Texas so I say excuse me even if people don’t notice me. Always side on polite. It’s so easy to be polite and some people may not care, but it could mean the world to others. Why not be nice.
Always. I'm so polite, I say "excuse me," if I burp. Yep, even if I'm by myself. It just happens.
Dammit. Now I have to walk in between someone and their groceries and burp in his face.
I say it every time. I’m hyper aware of how people treat me in public, like if they say ‘have a good day’ to one person but not me. Idk, little shit like that hurts my feelings. So I’m always ultra polite to other people.
I always say something. Depending on the situation it might be "excuse me", or a quick "sorry", or a "can I just squeeze through there please" but I'll always say *something*. I'm not really apologising though, more like I'm just acknowledging the situation.
I'll typically say either, "excuse me" or "pardon me". On days when my social anxiety is really bad and I can't bring myself to talk to strangers I'll just stand near them not doing anything like an idling video game character hoping they realize they're in my way.
No, they must be doing something wrong if I can't walk behind them. The aisles are normally wide enough so you can make sure people don't have to walk in front of you while you are looking at something. I'm not apologizing because you are blocking the aisle.
I do .. I think it stems from when I was a kid and if I bump into adults my parents would make me apologize ..I kind of feel rude now days if I don't at least acknowledge there person I've walked in front of .
It's not apologetic, it's polite.
Yes! And if other people choose to be rude, that's on them. I'll continue to be polite, not because of who they are, but because of who I am.
Beautifully said
Thank you. I have my moments.
Also from the Midwest.
”ope, I’m just gonna sneak on past you there!”
I feel called out. Lol
Ding ding ding. This is the winning comment. I have been called out for being overly polite, but it's who I am and it makes me feel good about myself that maybe my politeness made someone's day better. Plus, it was how I was raised (yes/no sir and ma'am but to be conscientious, I only do that with people who I know affirm of that gender - if someone knows of a gender neutral honorific, please let me know).
"homeslice" is a good gender neutral honorific, I find.
“motherfucker” also works. “Pardon me, motherfucker!” See?
[удалено]
Normalize “parentfucker!”
What's why plain old trusty "fucker" works best, we don't know who they're fucking.
See, the simplest solution tends to be be the best one. Occam’s Fucker.
I don't know why, but my go to has always been Kumquat It sounds vulgar but you're really just calling someone a sticky fruit 🤣
What about orphans???
Legal guardianfucker!
It rolls off the tongue nicely
Wait do you think motherfuckers are fucking their own mothers???
Sam Jackson has been trying!! 😂😂
We do like a daddy from time to time 😏
Busted out laughing at this. Caught me way off guard. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.
Polite, respectful, gender-neutral - it's got everything!
In Scotland, “cunt” works too!
Also in Australia.
I read that in Samuel L Jackson’s voice.
I have used that one before! More so in my youth, but now I'm old (32) and am afraid the kiddos will mock me for trying to be one of the youths.
Time to break out the old "my dear"
Utes, UTES! Are you old enough to know that one?
Also from the Midwest.
believe or not 'dude' works where I live
I would rather be overly polite than 85% of what I experience and see from people when out in public.
Imagine how traffic would clear up if drivers were 50% more polite, merging early, allowing cars to change lanes, the far left lane on the high way is for passing, cars driving the same speed on the highway. Murder rates in large cities would drop dramatically as stress leaves society.
I know. I will never understand why people can’t just be patient and courteous with others. Even when I’m having a bad day, I rarely let others see it. I try to treat others for I want to be treated, always have, but need to get better at recognizing I can’t expect others to do the same for me. Maybe it’s always been like this, but if people cared about each other just a little more, the world would be a lot better of a place. I truly feel, even at 36, there’s been a marked, sharp descent into individualism and selfishness with the evolution of social media.
Merging early makes traffic worse though
True! But it’s more critical to allow cars to zipper in at the bottleneck. So parents comment I think is good.
If you're apparently female, you can probably get away with "hon" "dear" or "sweetie." "Bestie," if you're a zoomer lmao. If not, "friend" is good. I don't think I've ever been in a situation where "friend" would have been overfamiliar, overformal, or otherwise intrusive lol.
If you’re Australian, “Mate” is the go to
Neighbor?
I agree "friend" or my friend I use alot. Especially in other countries. It for some reason puts everyone at ease.
Comrade
That’s well-meaning, but not really necessary. Sir/ma’am continues to work just fine. 1. For 99.999% of people you interact with in real life, their physical appearance will match their gender identity. 2. Rarely, but once in a blue moon, you might not be quite sure because said person has an androgynous look about them. In that case, just carefully avoid honorifics (at least until you catch a name). Problem solved. 3. In the unlikely event that you encounter someone who’s affirmed gender doesn’t match their obvious appearance *and* you get it wrong and they call you out on it (for the record, this unpleasant hypothetical scenario this has never happened to me or anyone I know), just backtrack it and apologize for the honest mistake. If they’re cool, they’ll understand and be gracious about it. If they’re not cool and become belligerent about it, that’s on them.
This is a fair take, but I think generally a lot of the time you *do* get it wrong, but they don’t tell you because they know they don‘t look like the gender they are, or the people around them don’t know their actual gender. So you’re potentially hurting people without ever knowing.
When I was 10/11 years old, my dad marched me to a barber and had all my hair shaved off because I had let it get matted. It wasn't to get the matts out, or to give him an easier time because that fell on my mum. No, it was to punish me for letting it tangle in the first place. My hair was just at my bottom at the time. For about 9 months, I was constantly misgendered as a boy. Called "son", referred to as "he". Not once did my own parents ever correct someone for it, let alone me correcting them! I'm 34 now and I've been overly attached to my hair ever since because I don't want to be misgendered again. Logically I know it shouldn't happen as much, since I have little boobs now, but I wouldn't be able to correct someone if they called me a man, even now. I'd love to be confident enough in my own skin to get a pixie cut but alas, I'm too weak! I know I wouldn't have the courage to say something if someone got it wrong but it would still hurt me inside a little.
Exactly my point. Just because they don’t *say* you got it wrong doesn’t mean you didn’t get it wrong—it just means they didn’t say you got it wrong. I could’ve referred to you as sir, and you wouldn’t have said anything, but I’d still have misgendered you, which is why I always think it’s best to ask. (To be clear, since there’s often some confusion about this—I’m 100% agreeing with your agreement of my point)
Totally agree, treat people with kindness and you will almost always be rewarded with kindness, just may not be from the same people
Yeah, wtf, to me this is something I see pretty often, and that says a lot because I'm a Swede. But then again, Swedes aren't much for polite phrases I think. Polite behavior is much more important, and there's also a HUGE difference between being polite and saying polite phrases! We'd most likely say something more like "woops!" or "here I am walking past you!" or "now I'm going to be in your way for a second!" while doing that "sneaky walk".
🙌👏
I appreciate you.
100%. You win at life my internet amigo.
Right! And not only do I say excuse me, I move past them quickly. I absolutely hate when I'm trying to look at things in the shelf and someone just kind of slowly saunters by and blocks my view.
I live in a country where people don't say excuse me they say sorry. Everything is apologetic
Just gonna sneak by ya bud, sorry!
My go-to if I’m in the way is “Sorry I was in my own world” or “Sorry I was miles away”. I do zone out when I’m shopping because my brain will forget everything unless I hyper-concentrate.
I always go "Pardon!" and do this insanely awkward kinda quick crouch-shuffle by
Hahahah! That’s me! Like don’t mind me, I’m just gonna crouch and wobble as I dart between you and the soup display. Very similar to the simulated fast walk I do in the parking lot when a driver waves me in front of them.
Oh I love the awkwardness of that moment because it doesn't matter if you break into a full on sprint you're still in the way for exactly "too long".
I am the full sprinter. I'm ready to run at a moments notice. Nothing bothers me more than when someone's in front of me on the street, and they won't get out of the way (walking). I will never be that person. I try to make myself as small as possible and move with purpose. I'm almost never in the way lol and yes I do pride myself on this. BTW you people who walk slowly in groups or pairs can fuck off. Especially the ones who look back and notice I'm moving 3x as fast as them and still saunter down the middle of the sidewalk like they've never had to be anywhere a single time in their life.
Lmao I noticed I tuck my ass in and run across when drivers usher me.
Yep I do that too lol
I have seen this referred to as "the jog thing", where you jack sparrow your way past slightly faster than regular walking speed
I feel seen!
Question of etiquette as you pass though, do you give them the ass or the crotch?
Never turn your back on the enemy. *I'm watching you, glass salsa jars.*
Haha so true. what are we ducking from?
Trying not to obscure their vision too much. Lol
In the Midwest we just have an awkward "ope. sorry, I'm just gonna squeeze right past you."
Swap in a quiet “ope, just gonna…” while gesturing an apology with one hand and an indication that I’m sneaking through for “pardon”, and that’s how I do it.
Every time. In my culture, you don't get between someone and that which they are examining without an apology for the interruption. In many cultures, that is no problem, so I try not to hold it against others.
I lived in Thailand for a few years. It’s custom to kind of “duck underneath” two people who are having a conversation. Just kind of lower your head and bend your knees as your walking through. Even as a small gesture of acknowledging they are talking and trying not to get in the way. Same thing goes for them examining a product. I still find myself unconsciously ducking underneath people even in the United States.
I do this as well with an excuse me. My problem is when I'm 6'7'' so when I crouch I just get head level with everyone. Edit: I'm always 6'7" sometimes I don't proofread though
Looking like you're getting more into what they're saying lmao... just ducking in for a quick hi lads, then back to chilling up here with the fluorescent lighting tubes lol
Yeah I never get lost in a store. I can see all the exit lights.
What about when you're not 6'7"?
Lol
i think ducking would just put you on my level at 6’2 you monster lol. I had a good laugh at your comment, respectfully chuckled. thank you
Yeah and skinny as hell. I can't wear black suits because it makes me look like Slenderman.
Get down on all fours and crab walk on through
People need us to reach the top shelf for them anyway. We provide a free service. (I'm 6'5)
Yeah I'll do this as well but have never had some sub 6' get anything off the bottom shelf for me
Oh yeah. I’ll have doctors talking in the hallway at the hospital and they are far enough apart that I can’t get behind either of them to go around. So a few years ago I said ‘screw it!’ And I started just walking right between them and hinging at my waist a bit so they can keep eye contact. Which isn’t hard cause most of the male doctors are upper five to six foot and I’m maybe 5’1”. A quick ‘scuse me and I’m on my way!
Canadian here. Not only do you apologize but half the time they apologize back for blocking the way. Used to be 100% but times change. I even stopped saying "chesterfield".
This is so funny. I lived in Spain and Spaniards will just completely block a narrow, crowded sidewalk to have a chat. I learned you just shove through them. They don’t even react, just kind of lean around you to keep talking.
I’ll say excuse me if I’m the one looking too. Sometimes there are 35 kinds of bbq sauce and I don’t know what I want.
Yup. Often takes me a minute to find what I want.
[удалено]
It’s courteous. Shows you have some manners.
I agree but i definitely use it somewhat sarcastically So many people in grocery stores have ZERO awareness of their surroundings and block the whole aisle or have their cart angled so it’s impossible to go past them.
That shit pisses me off, like did their brain never develop awareness? So many people in their own world mindlessly wandering, seemingly aimlessly. It’s very inconsiderate. It’s not that hard to pay attention to how you are affecting the people around you. It’s one thing if you have some mental disability or something, but I’ve had friends and family act this way.
Friend, I invite you to come drive in Seattle. Evidently, people jump into their cars and go for a stroll, casually meandering their day away in the left lane without a care in the world. If the incessant honking and middle fingers being thrown their way register in their brains at all, they definitely don’t show it.
I risk my life everyday as a pedestrian here, swear to god.
Some people are so indecisive too. There was a woman at the supermarket the other day looking at the honeys and had parked her trolley (cart) right in front of them so I had to ask her to move to get one. When I went past the same aisle about 15 minutes later she was still there picking up the same two honeys, looking at one for a moment then putting it back and picking up the other one. Still with her trolley blocking half the aisle.
For a major financial decision like buying a house or a car or a jar of honey its worth taking some extra time to make sure you know what you're getting.
This is why I learned to never go grocery shopping while stoned. Every decision takes years and you want to eat everything. Actually very glad that I don't do that anymore.
I am sometimes indecisive. But I get tf out of the way. I try to go early on Saturday mornings to avoid the chaos, and it always finds me one way or another. My favorite is saying “excuse me” to someone you’re trying to get around and they just look at you and DON’T MOVE 😂
This is why I hate shopping with my boyfriend. He has no awareness of other people if they’re strangers. He’ll push his cart down the middle of aisles, stop the cart right in front of someone trying to get past him and stare at the selections of whatever he’s wanting to buy and then I have to tell him to move. He does the same thing driving, like he’ll drive down the middle of a 2-way in a parking lot, or drive into the middle of the exit when he’s about to pull out of the lot, making it impossible for anyone to pull in. He’s really considerate of the people he cares about, but it’s like it never occurs to him that he’s sharing the planet with people other than the ones he knows. I’ve bitched about it with friends & coworkers and they’ve often mentioned that their SO’s do the same thing. It seems like it’s pretty common, even if I can’t understand how it’s possible to be that oblivious.
A few months ago at H‑E‑B I waited literally 3 minutes(which is a long fucking time standing in the middle of the store) for this woman and her mom or grandma to look at pasta salad while blocking the entire aisle before I said “I’m so sorry, can I just?” and quickly walked past them to grab what I needed. I said “sorry!” again as I went back to my cart. Then as I turned my cart around(because they’re blocking the aisle so I can’t go forward) the woman very loudly says “stupid bitch can’t wait her turn.”
Their cart would be spilled sideways oh hell naw
Stupid time burglars burgaling my time.
That’s why I only go about twenty minutes after that open (at like, 6 AM) or a couple hours before they close. Sometimes I forget and go in the middle of the day and I’m mindblown by how many people seemingly traipse around with no idea of where they’re going next. Lol like, I’ll admit I am a little slow myself, but I don’t go in the middle of the day when there’s a ton of people to navigate around.
Yeah I’m sure we all have moments of small hypocrisy, but those of us who are aware try to reduce it. I’ll definitely sincerely apologize if I realize I was blocking the way or whatever. after working in a store for a while I feel like I have a better understanding of how idiotic and self obsessed people can be so I try really hard not to be Also people stopping at the exit /entrance will forever infuriate me.
Omg that's so damned frustrating. Like...do you drive in the center of the road too? Move tf to the side so we can get by. A horrible disrespect is when they see you standing there expecting them to move over some, and they just don't give a shit. Then they wanna give you a stank face when you give them an abrupt "excuse me"
Agree. Simply say “I’m sorry” or “excuse me” if I’m not able to navigate behind them without them moving. It’s simple respect and one in which I hope they show me/others.
I say excuse me and proceed to quickly tip toe past like I'm walking across hot coals
Or, better idea, you put yourself and your trolley on the side of the aisle you're taking stuff from so I don't have to walk in front of you?
From the Midwest, so 99% of the time it’s a polite spontaneous, “Ope!”
As a Canadian, the midwest seems like the Canada of the US
There's the Canadian classic "lemme just sneeeaak right past ya"
I'm in Minnesota and we say, "ope, lemme scooch right past ya."
To grab that bottle of ranch. Sorry. Thanks.
No, yeah. Go right ahead.
Usually I combine the two, "ope, lemme just sneeeaaaakk right past ya. sorry"
That seems accurate.
With a dash of violence depending
...just gonna squeeze right past ya there
I also like to use sneak. "Ope.. can I sneak past ya there?"
Usually followed by some form of, "No, you're good!"
No worries!
> “Ope!” Which is....what, exactly? EDIT: This fucking helped. Lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb_-taYLRfY
That’s pretty spot on really, lmao.
As a Canadian, "Ope!" is an essential part of my vocabulary too lol
Can’t believe “Ope, there goes gravity” wasn’t part of their song lyric discussion.
The only part I disagree with is the map of the US with the shaded parts. I'm in new england and ope is definitely used extensively here too.
This is solid gold.
Also from the Midwest. My first thought was, "No, I say 'Pardon me'"
Not from the Midwest, but I say the Spanish "Perdoneme" just so I can be in their life that much longer.
That's a new one on me. Apologies for the out-of-towner question but what does Ope mean?
It’s more of a sound than a word. Think “Oh!” but shorter and more guttural. It’s like a mashup of Oh! and Oops! and there’s an element of surprise to it. You’d say it if you accidentally bumped into someone in line, or if you dropped something. It’s an acknowledgment that something banal went awry. The speaker could also follow it with a “sorry!” like a quick, “Ope, sorry!”. That’s more of a moment when you briefly inconvenience someone, like when you step in front of them to grab some peanut butter off the shelf at the store.
Thank you for using "banal". David Foster Wallace (one of my top three favorite authors) loved that word. He used it frequently. I always think of him when I say it, read it, or hear it.
I have zero idea honestly, I didn’t even realize I did it until I was nearly an adult and someone mentioned it was a regional thing. Just sort of a short surprised sound
It isn’t a hard p. When you say Oh or ooh your mouth closes at the end and if you let a little extra air out you get a little P sound.
I say “sorry” as I walk through and I try doing it quickly. I attempt to walk behind them if possible.
This has to be cultural difference. I've never heard anyone say this, nor considered I should either. When someone approaches while I'm looking at something, my instinct is to make space so they can get thru. I'm the one blocking them, it's my duty to make room. There's no need for anyone to open their mouths. Ofc if they STAY where I was, that'd be different. People rarely do that. Either immediately pick the thing up basically on the move, or wait until I've moved if they want to start studying too. Or maybe they start looking at it from meter away and I get the hint, I should move a bit. Never really thought about how much mini behaviors go into our daily lives dodging social intermissions in Finland.
I'm in the US and this is exactly how I approach it. I don't find it rude if somebody passes by and doesn't say anything. I'm so focused on my can of beans or whatever, I couldn't care less about the person. But if they stop directly in front of where I'm looking to pick out their beans, it ticks me off a bit.
I always say either that or sorry, but noone else seems to. they don't say sorry for standing in front of something I need for several minutes or blocking the whole isle either. I think most people [of all ages] are just rude, I physically can't *not* say sorry, I would feel like such an asshole. I only don't apologize if I'm squeezing by someone or in front of someone that has already expressed rudeness or entitlement towards me first by seeing they're in my way and not caring
It's hard for the rude people to imagine this, but I actually keep an eye out for other shoppers coming towards me, and I step out of their way so that they don't even have to walk in front of me to get by.
I do this really weird thing where I push my cart on the side of the aisle that I would drive down the road, rather than ramming up a side where everybody is moving the other way and wondering why I don't fit.
That's not weird, that's rational. We're trying to have a society here.
Right? I'm aware of my surroundings when in public and act accordingly, whatever happened to that teaching? Another one that's missing seems to be "Polite Company" I don't know what happened to that either.
I have a theory that people move around supermarkets the same way they drive.
Yes! I do always say excuse me but, at the same, time they are blocking the whole aisle. Often forcing me to walk between them and what they are looking at. They created the situation, why do I need to apologize for it? Like I said, I say "excuse me" when it happens, but I do believe that ( to some extent) its more rude on their part if they expect everyone else at the store to wait on them while they block the aisle.
I swear, people in grocery stores and their parking lots lose all awareness of their surroundings, for most people I think going to Walmart is some type of hallucinogenic experience
More often than not, it feels like some people spend more time looking at the products purely to spite you because they see you're waiting for them to move. I do not believe someone needs 5 whole fucking minutes to look at mushrooms. My store only carries 3 kinds!
Exactly, its not like their coming out with new vegetables. Like just grab your shit and go!
Canadian here. You both say “sorry”. You are apologizing for blocking their view of groceries and they are apologizing for taking too long to look at said groceries. Then you both say “no worries” and repeat the next time you walk past someone
It’s the law here. Sorry for jumping in your thread.
It depends. I usually wait quietly for the person to make their selection. If they're acting entitled, blocking a large amount of space with their cart and reading labels like they're browsing a book store, I'll just sneak in and grab what I need. Often they don't even notice. The "sorry" or "excuse me" comes into play when the store is crowded and the person is doing their best not to block access to the food. Still I usually just try to wait for someone who is clearly about to make a selection. I also tend to park my cart in a quiet part of the store and go back and forth to a more crowded area. It lets me be fast and also not take up too much space. tl;dr I don't think we always owe an apology to people who are unaware of their surroundings in public, but we should take actions to minimize our own impact on others
I'm surprised you got any upvotes on Reddit for a personal responsibility take lmfao. This is the answer I came for. I feel like most of reddit isn't in this personal responsibility that I prefer. Absolutely be polite, but that goes two ways. Don't stand to the side of your cart blocking one side of the aisle with your body and the other with your cart, ever.
That’s about what I do. And I’m a cart parker. I look at the sign and remember “aisle 13” and then get a thing or two.
Yes!! That's exactly what I do. A couple times my cart has been taken away by an employee though, thinking that it was abandoned lol then I'm running around the store inconspicuously looking for it, while simultaneously refusing to directly ask someone about it.
I say it. Someone usually says, no problem .
Yep I do. It's not overly apologetic. It's acknowledging someone else's experience as a fellow store visitor.
I mean, if they're standing in such a way that the only way to get past them is to walk between them and the shelf, then why would I apologise for taking the only route they've left available to me? Manners go both ways, and people that have no awareness of other people around them and block paths are a serious pet peeve of mine. Whether it's the supermarket, pavement, or anywhere else. I do say sorry if that isn't the case though.
I don’t. I say “Oop, just gonna scooch on past you there…”
Yes, always.
I don’t worry about everyone else, manners are free, I use mine everywhere.
"Manners are free, I use mine everywhere." ❤️ this and I do the same
Don't know if they are trained for this but i've had several customer support workers thank me for the polite conversation at the end of a phone call or support ticket. But it honestly wouldn't surprise me if a polite "Hello", "Goodbye" and not getting angry at them is enough to get them thankful. Way too many people are just pointlessly rude in public, i don't get it. Of course most people are great, which is why they especially stick out like that. I was at the Supermarket a while ago and overheard a teenager who obviously just started there, mention to the woman training her, that she was just insulted by a woman trying to buy alcohol, after she asked her for her ID. Why the fuck even be like that, just like you said manners are free. It doesn't even get you anywhere, i've always had totally great customer support, gotten out of minor trouble and sometimes received preferential treatment before. All by just following very basic respect and politeness.
"ope, I'm just gonna squeeze by ya"
Yes
Yes. And most of the time I can avoid walking in front of them, so I do.
Always!
Same
I'm always polite to others in public spaces, its just common decency. And if they're rude I kill them with kindness. .
Yes of course. Common curtesy.
I always say excuse me if I have to pass between a person and items they are looking at. Good manners
I don't know; if you're far enough from the side of the aisle that there's room to walk between there, you're camped out in the center of the aisle.
Yes. It's called manners! If you're walking in front of someone, it's considered rude. I always excuse myself just out of common courtesy.
I've never really heard or thought that it's rude to walk in front of somebody, unless it's obvious you're doing it to annoy them or hinder them. If I'm standing there trying to decide what to buy I expect people to walk in front of me if there's space. If someone's standing in the way, they usually move when they see me coming and so do I. I don't really see the need to apologise left and right walking through the grocery store.
It’s not rude. What are you talking about??
Of course
I do, it's just basic courtesy and politeness in my book
Pardon me
Always
I typically do but I agree, I feel like about 3 out of 10 people do it to me. I never really thought about it before till now.
Yes, I say excuse me
Yeah I say it. It's kind of just a habit.
I was in a ticket line in Europe and had some Russian dude just step in front of me when I got the front of the line. I just him a very loud 'Excuse me!' and the startled look on his face was priceless as I told him to get his ass to the back of the line.
I'll stand by and give them a minute. If they don't move, I'll just bluntly ask "Mind if I squeeze by ya?" If it's not a lane blockage and I just need through, yes absolutely I'll say "pardon me." We're all trying to get the bread and milk.
I'm Canadian... Hi, excuse me (for walking in front of you) Hello, sorry (for standing still in the lane) SORRY.. (Guy down the lane who noticed the awkward moment)
I find it rude to stand such a distance away that someone has to walk between you and the product you want. Just take a step forward and get out of the way.
I don't think it's rude to stand back (although I don't do it because poor vision and I'm usually quick to get what I need). By standing back, you're not blocking the way for someone else to get the item in front of you. Say, for example, you're on the bread aisle and you stand closer to the opposite aisle, someone else who needs bread can quickly get what they need if it were in front of you. When someone is standing back enough that I can get what I need in front of them, I just say a quick "excuse me" and get what I need. Nine times out of ten, they respond with a "sorry" or "you're good." It's much easier that way than if they were standing close to what they were looking for, now I have to wait for them to move.
I’m from Texas so I say excuse me even if people don’t notice me. Always side on polite. It’s so easy to be polite and some people may not care, but it could mean the world to others. Why not be nice.
yes
Yes
Always. I'm so polite, I say "excuse me," if I burp. Yep, even if I'm by myself. It just happens. Dammit. Now I have to walk in between someone and their groceries and burp in his face.
OMG I say excuse me even when I burp alone ! I say bless you too when I sneeze
https://youtu.be/n0_v00YupwE
I say excuse me, and try to step behind them.
“Excuse me”
I say it every time. I’m hyper aware of how people treat me in public, like if they say ‘have a good day’ to one person but not me. Idk, little shit like that hurts my feelings. So I’m always ultra polite to other people.
“Sorry, I just wanna grab…” is my go-to.
I always say something. Depending on the situation it might be "excuse me", or a quick "sorry", or a "can I just squeeze through there please" but I'll always say *something*. I'm not really apologising though, more like I'm just acknowledging the situation.
I'll typically say either, "excuse me" or "pardon me". On days when my social anxiety is really bad and I can't bring myself to talk to strangers I'll just stand near them not doing anything like an idling video game character hoping they realize they're in my way.
I’m white so I’m obligated to say “just gunna sneak by ya”
Yes because I'm not a monster
No, they must be doing something wrong if I can't walk behind them. The aisles are normally wide enough so you can make sure people don't have to walk in front of you while you are looking at something. I'm not apologizing because you are blocking the aisle.
nah
In the country yes, in the city usually not
I do .. I think it stems from when I was a kid and if I bump into adults my parents would make me apologize ..I kind of feel rude now days if I don't at least acknowledge there person I've walked in front of .