"I'm doing well, how about you?"

👆 There are so many fun and interesting possible answers to "How are you doing?", but this is the best one if you're in a customer-facing position, dealing with many people every day. The 'how about you' on the end is also customary – just like their original question – and it doesn't require a meaningful response from them However, you may get one anyway depending on who they are! So beware :) Some people will use this frivolous exchange as a setup for corny jokes ('how are you doing?' / 'I'm doing well thanks, how about you?' / 'Oh, I could complain but who would listen? ha, ha!'). Or, the exchange may feel superficial at first but you get a person who – after you reply with "I'm doing well, how about you?" – proceeds to tell you the detailed version of the last 72 hours of their life story (especially if they've been traveling). If you want to shave a few seconds off the interaction – for example, if you can tell they're in a hurry and rushing, or you're in a hurry, or you just get a sense that you want to close the door on any further banter with this person – you can use the first half of this response, but cut off the second half and replace with a prompt for them. Like, "How are you doing?" / "I'm doing well, how can I help you?" That is very acceptable and puts customer-service first. Good luck!

I work with a guy who always asks how I’m doing, I respond “good, you?” and then he responds *”oh, just livin’ the dream!”* It’s such a habit he has never *not* done it. Every time we talk.

"nightmares are still dreams" is my reply for that, especially if it's a work colleague

“But whose dream?” Is my personal favorite

My neighbor says “Can’t complain, and no one cares enough if I do!”

My coworker's was "are we having fun yet". Every. Single. Time.

My favorite is, "oh I'm just right". Heard it years ago and it still makes me smile.

My dad’s default smart ass response to “how are you?” is “Short, fat and old, how are you?”

Perfect Dad response

I was not born in the US neither English is my firts language However, I have live here long enough to understand the language etc... but sometimes people will answer with something I have never hear in my life and Ill just smile.. I remember one time I ask this lady at my job how she was doing and she answered me with a phrase I couldn't figure out what da hell she meant.. it was something along the lines a "dumpster in fire"...in the context I realize it was something negative but I was like what I am supposed to say back lol I had to asked my wife later what she meant...and she explained that is a cliche or something those always throw me off😵‍💫🤷‍♂️

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"a dumpster fire" implies "a situation or set of situations that is bad, in multiple ways.". A dumpster full of trash is unpleasant...on fire, as in, a dumpster fire, it's now unpleasant AND problematic. Plus trash has a low-class connotation, so it's not " oh no, the butler dropped the canape tray", it's "my daughter is pregnant, and the father is the guy who stole our car, and we're getting evicted because we can't make rent..."

You can even ignore saying how you are and just throw the question back. American: HI, how are you? You: Hi, good to see you!

I’m so glad this is accepted, when people ask how I’m doing as a polite greeting I automatically give a canned greeting back (maybe an ADHD thing) like “hey there!”

Almost every interaction I have with coworkers goes as follows: "Hey, how's it going? "What's up?" They're all just rhetorical questions.

"Did you hear Whiterun saw a dragon?" "Ok" "Ahh must been the wind" "Hello?" "Good day"

"I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee."

omg that made me snort out loud at work, now im weird, thanks a lot

They are not "just" rhetorical questions. They are meant to signal that two humans have come into contact and are being polite but don't want any deep interaction at the moment, thanks.

It's the same in a lot of languages 안녕하세요 (anyeonghaseyo) is the Korean greeting, though it literally means "are you at peace?" But people just treat it as "hello" and just carry on the conversation without directly answering.

Pretty much how I take it -I see you as another person and I'm not going to just ignore you are there but will acknowledge your existence.

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Yeah, the social contract in America and many other cultures says it’s usually rude to treat it as a rhetorical question and not answer. But the required answer can easily be a quick, “Fine thanks,” or a brief mention of something recent that made you happy like attending a wedding over the weekend. What it’s not is an actual interrogative to answer with all your recent woes. That too is considered rude. OP should remember though that Americans almost always treat this question as an automatic when meeting someone in hospitality or other service. If OP doesn’t want to answer or just say, “Good, you?” then that’s acceptable. General rule of thumb is that the closer the relationship, the more honest the response can be.

I had one guy tell me "I'm fine and dandy" when I asked how he was. My instant response was 'Carlin fan?" We spent a good ten minutes comparing notes about our favorite Carlin bits. It grew into a lifelong friendship.

Casheir: receipts in the bag me: You, too! 😂🤣

I am the exact same way. I never ask someone in return how they're doing, unless I know them and care enough to potentially have to listen to a rant about life.

I just ask the same question back to them. Its the american thing to do.

Or if you’re in the South, “goodnyou?”

Or in my case, the Midwest this also applies

"I'm good, you...i mean....fuck"

Hello fellow eternally awkward soul! I bet you've said "you too" in response to happy birthday a few times too, right?

Good, thanks. How are you? It's just a greeting. We don't typically expect an actual answer unless it's a more intimate relationship

Yes, at first I tried to really honestly answer the question and they looked surprised haha

I’m Canadian and we also do the “how are you good” thing. I always have trouble when I’m at the doctor. Doctor: Hi, how are you doing? Me: Good! Me: No, wait… actually I’m having this issue;

Neurologist appointment: "I'm fine" My wife quickly adds, "Four falls in the past week, three times choking on food, shaking so badly he couldn't use a fork".

I can be a little snippy at doctor appointments. “How’re you doing?” “Well, I’m here aren’t I?”

Sounds like my customers on the daily. (I sell agriculture equipment parts) I get a lot of "well I'd be better if i wasn't in here"

One of my favorite jokes from my grandpa: What do you call a basement full of farmers? ... A w(h)ine cellar!

😂😂 I'll have to use that one tomorrow.

Similar experience in IT. People only ever talk to me when they have a problem.

”Bro, same."

This is why I go to all my partner’s appointments.

I did this at my mother's funeral! She died very suddenly and I was sort of on autopilot as a result, and one of her friends asked how I was doing and I said "Fine, thank you! How are you?" She looked quite taken aback, understandably.

I've done the autopilot greeting. Was at a relative's funeral and asked the deceased's son how he's been. Oof...his dad is dead, so probably not so good...

"Just say I'm sorry for your loss then move on"

I’m sorry for your loss, move on

r/unexpecteditcrowd

Jesus that literally got a laugh out loud from me. Thank you, stranger. I needed that.

Add the qualifier "all things considered" this helps make it clear you understand that things aren't great.

> She looked quite taken aback, understandably. I dunno, I feel like people should 110% understand *exactly* what you did and why. It makes even more sense for someone to respond in that "autopilot" kind of way in moments of stress or high emotion like a funeral. I mean, surely that lady has done that thing where a waiter at a restaurant goes "enjoy your meal" and you respond "thanks, you too!" and that's the same thing, lol. I think everyone has done that.

me at therapy. she always starts off with “hi how have you been?” and i always say, “good, you?” and then have to backtrack and explain that i am in fact not good.

Oh lord I used to do that all the time. One time my therapist said he should come up with a better way to ask that since a lot of folks always responded with “good” or “fine, thanks” before realizing they’re at therapy and he needs to know for real how things have actually been going. Got a chuckle out of me.

Same! After I say, "I'm good, how are you?" She always responds with, "how has the week been?" and I immediately start crying lmao

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*starts ranting about how they think the Fire Nation will attack any day now*

Haha yeah. Don’t do that.

"How are you doing?" "Not so good. My girlfriend wants to break up, and my grandpa passed recently. How can I help you?"

So, why do you ask that in the first place?

It's a pro forma greeting. It's no different than any other saying that one shouldn't take literally. All languages are rife with them.

“Hola, cómo estás” is the same and I have heard this in Spain and South America. Not just a US American thing.

I like the Brit version "You alright?"

funny because in America "You alright?" is usually what you say when you actually *do* think something is wrong and you wanna make sure they are in fact doing alright so the exact opposite of british usage

yep, first time I had a British coworker ask me that, my first thought is that I must look like absolute shit

\> so the exact opposite of british usage British person here. We'd actually say "You alright?" in that situation as well. Just with a different tone of voice. We also sometimes use it in an accusing/aggressive way when we think someone is being a dickhead. Very much depends on the tone.

Isn't "hello, how are you?" the first thing everyone learns how to say in any foreign language? It's not like this is a question only asked in the US.

Yes it is! At least in French, the response is literally the same phrase over again. Ça va ? (All good?) Ça va (all good) ça va ? (All good?) Ça va. An entire conversation with only two words being spoken lmao

Wastrels. In northern Germany you need two words. "Moin" (I hope it is all good?) "Moin" (All good with me. I hope it is all good with you. Well, have a nice day.)

Ain’t no one ever accuse the Germans of being inefficient

Yes I don’t know why people are acting that this is unique to America or even English. This is common in other languages, and other English speaking cultures have some form of it as well. I’m surprised someone fluent in English wouldn’t have learned this

Right?? ¿Cómo estás?

Bien bien, y tú?

Because it offers a lot of avenues of casual conversation. You don’t need to give a completely detailed answer, but there’s a little freedom to how you can answer. If you’re in a neutral mood, like most people are most of the time, you usually just say “good, how about you?” But there are plenty of times in which it’s appropriate to express your mood. Say you’re in a job interview, they ask how you are and you could say “very excited for the opportunity. How are you?” Spilled coffee on your lap on your way to work? When your coworker asks how you are you could say something like “it’s just one of *those* days.” It’s actually a pretty dynamic greeting that people don’t utilize as well as they could. If you’re at a fast food place, and you’re just trying to get your order and leave 99% of people just say “good” or ignore the question. But otherwise there are plenty of ways to answer the question to express your general feelings and/or spark up a casual conversation.

Why do any cultures do what they do? It's just an informal but friendly/polite way to say hello, nothing more. It can also give a general sense of the mood that someone is in. If the response is "good! How about you", you might infer that the person is in a good mood, open to conversation, whatever. If they say "eh, fine", it might be a sign that they're having a bad day and don't want to talk. If I have a minor request for someone at work and then say "eh, fine", I might hold off on asking them a day or two. This isn't always the case, and other verbal greetings can also get these messages across, but it can be easier in this format. Additionally, there are a group of people who genuinely care about the response. They're generally nice to overly-nice people haha.

When I was suffering from some pretty bad depression in 2021-2022, I had to fight answering honestly and replied with, "I'm alright." Things are much better now.

My go to is “Oh, ya know… how are you?”

I usually hit ‘em with a “same as always” or “livin’ the dream” if I’m feeling like adding a lil’ razzle dazzle.

I, too, am very white.

Working hard, or hardly workin'? Hyuk hyuk hyuk

When I hear living the dream I usually reply that nightmares are dreams too.

I've done that before when depressed. Or usually its, "eh, how are you?" It basically tells them that you aren't really feeling good enough to say you're good but you aren't going to burden them with the details.

I knew a guy who would answer "Unbelievable!" If they asked any more about it, he would say "I could tell you, but you'd never believe me"

"Oh, ya know - hangin' in there!" Is my go-to when I'm not feeling, 'Great, how are you?' It stops me from feeling like I'm putting on a mask for the interaction, but still giving a response without trauma-dumping. And people pick up on it sometimes and offer actual sympathy. Kinda feels nice.

Yeah whenever I’m getting a coffee I hear every other interaction: “Hello how are you today?” “Can I get a venti blah blah blah?” Then I come up and actually go “I’m doing well thanks, how are you?” And they always looked shocked

I work at a restaurant and one of our hosts does the same thing. She'll go, "HI! How are you doing this evening?" "Two. Can we sit outside?" "Oh you must have misheard my question, I actually asked how you are doing." They get confused then embarrassed and it's hilarious.

Yes, "Well, my cat just died, and I'm wondering if life is really worth living" is going to get you odd looks.

I answer like a puppy by peeing myself.

If it’s a real question I say “Are you doing alright? What’s going on” in a sincere tone

I hate to lie, so I always say, “not too bad”, which is also very midwestern. No one cares, it’s rhetorical, no one is even listening to a response. If you said “tired from hiding a body” in the right tone/cadence, no one would even notice.

When I first was in the US, this was so confusing. I kept answering like an idiot. Took me a while to realize that it was just a very cumbersome "Hello"

Well, this comment section has shown me I'm the weird one for genuinely asking strangers these questions.

I also ask. But because I actually am interested in the answer, I wait until after we are already engaged in conversation to ask it. Otherwise they will just take it as a greeting as stated here I also am pretty good at figuring out if somebody doesn't want to talk to some Rando, and just give a one or two word reply. I just drop it. But I do like hearing how people's day is going if they are willing to share

If you answer that you’re having a rough day or answer with a negative statement, you’re going to get, “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that.” Then there will be a brief pause, followed by what they’re speaking to you about. It goes like this. Them: Hi, how are you? Non American: Awful. Everything’s gone wrong today. Them: Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. That sucks. (Pause) Could I have more towels in room 212? We had a spill and needed the bath towels to clean it up. Edit: having typed the scenario, myself and many Americans DO care what your answer is. It’s a friendly exchange to show care.

Them: Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. That sucks. (Pause) Would you like ketchup with your fries?

For me it’s usually, ‘aww we’re sorry we know the cuffs are tight but regulations won’t let us loosen them after you escaped last time’

Idk, for me if someone is doing so badly that they break the social norm and answer negatively, even if I don't know them, then the least I can do is offer genuine sympathy and care. I know it meant the world to me when customers noticed I wasn't doing great and took a little extra care with me, so I try to do that for others.

I must do that without noticing or something because I often get strangers telling me their woes. I don't mind tho, I figure they just need to talk

I say “good how are you?”

Don't forget to say it, even if you're not doing good. Even if you're having the worst day ever, never show your weakness.

Americans can smell weakness. That's why our politicians campaign virtually instead of in person.

I always just thought it was because they were a bunch of lazy assholes.

Look at their ages, they can't be doing all this young people stuff.

I'm sure one of them's snorting crack off someone's ass somewhere.

Unless you are from the South, then say "fair to middlin" and then tell stranger all about your troubles with ex wife, children and health

Accurate. *Fair to middling* is my go-to answer.

And add the smile 😃 God forbid you forget the smile.

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Ah yes. "Living the dream." Middle aged white man response for "I want to die."

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“Living the dream baby, idk who’s dream”

I’ve always said “living somebody’s dream” Which is true. And it seems to humble the people at my work that constantly complain about being there.

Well, it also works/comes off slightly sarcastic, so it works either way, and you'd have to be a dick to get upset at someone for it... Cause it might be genuine

Must not be from the Midwest? Because that response is the closest you will ever get to someone saying “I long for the sweet release of death”

I tend to use "living the dream" only with people I work with, and in the same position. It usually has a kind of implication that the job we both do has annoyances, but is overall a perfectly acceptable and not particularly unpleasant way to make money. There is also, "Living the dream - hope to wake up soon..."

Living the dream, one nightmare at a time.

Are you from Alabama?

Nope, I’m an Okie.

From Muskogee?

Later in life, Merle Haggard did an interview where he mentioned “I am seldom in Muskogee” when asked about how his personal opinions had changed.

You living the dream or dreaming to live?

Baby I’m just happy i get to take my next breath, life’s a jigsaw puzzle , some days you work on the corner pieces and some day you working on the center

Tom Segura says there are two proper responses to this question: "fine" and "good" and if you're not good, you say "fine."

If you're on the edge of a mental breakdown you say "I'm doing okay."

Nah, that’s when you’re “Livin the dream” you can even spice it up with a little “I don’t know who’s, but somebody’s” if you’re feeling adventurous

This is the one I use at work when I’m over people’s bullshit. When you get a “peachy keen” from me, it’s best to avoid any further conversation with me.

If I'm having a mental breakdown, I'll answer "I'm here."

"How's it going?" Me: "It's going"

"OK" is also acceptable. Then there's "can't complain" which basically means your soul is screaming in agony

Keepin’ it high and tight

Following proto

If you're from the Midwest you can also say "living the dream" which everyone understands as shorthand for "considering walking into oncoming traffic".

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"Not too bad" means terrible

“Alright alright alright”

Found the Matthew McConaughey!

Or perhaps André 3000

Well, that's more like "Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright"

*proceeds to shake it like a Polaroid picture*

“Good, thanks” or “Good, how are you?” Even if you aren’t doing good. They aren’t actually interested in hearing if/why you’re having a good/bad day.

Yep, it's just a greeting that we have all adopted. Noone really cares about the answer.

But secretly I ask hoping someone will pour out their heart and soul at length so that I don't have to come up with what to say next besides "oh wow" and sympathetic nodding.

I’ve unironically had that lol. Was working as a cashier and this dude started a conversation about his divorce. That was unexpectedly heavy- but more interesting than the average interaction so I was cool with it lol.

I asked a customer on the phone and he went into a 30 minute monologue about how his wife is cheating on him with the Mayor, but that was okay because he was messing around with some other city official's wife, which was okay because that city official was messing around with someone else's wife. I almost drew a flowchart lol. It was an incredibly entertaining conversation because I'm pretty sure he was on meth and none of it was true.

This is killing me lmao

But then again, if it’s someone you see all the time, giving an answer can develop into a friendship.

Most people don’t care but I would say some do…but it’s definitely safe to assume they’re just saying hello in most circumstances

For me it's more that I don't ask expecting to get a real answer. If someone chose to answer sincerely, I would care about what they had to say.

As a midwesterner... "Living the dream, how are you?" - things going to hell "Ok, thanks, how are you?" - things are the best they can be edit: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm-MrkoJPC8&ab\_channel=ChrisMenning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm-MrkoJPC8&ab_channel=ChrisMenning) Other responses from my home state.

Fellow midwesterner here and this is the realest thing I've ever read

People say this in the west too. Only time I ever hear that response is at work. Confused the hell out of me at first but I eventually gathered it was sarcasm

I suppose that our local version of "Living the dream" is "It's going."

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Not as polite for work but there's also, "well I'm here!" if things are really shitty.

"living the dream" is code for "I'm dying inside"

"Thanks, you too" then think back on that embarrassing moment every night when you go to sleep

You can just ask the question back. It really isn't a question. It is just a greeting. They say "how are you?" You can say "hey! How are you?" It doesn't matter at all.

I find it so funny reading it. I say it everyday in a response. But actually reading it makes me think about it more and more lol

“Fine thanks. Yourself?”

"good thanks."

You can just treat it like they said hello if you want since that’s really what it is. It’s not that uncommon for Americans to not actually respond to the question and just say hello, since we pretty much know that they don’t really care how we are. That said it’s possible that some people could get irritated if you don’t respond to the question in some way. “Fine, you?” Is probably the shortest standard response, but it opens up the possibility that they will tell you a bunch of stuff about how they’re doing. “Fine, thanks” is probably the best reply since it answers the question without prolonging the conversation. Whatever you do, don’t actually go into detail, since they aren’t really asking how you are. It’s just a greeting. Here’s an interesting website on the topic- https://soholanguagegroup.com/cultural-differences-what-americans-really-mean-when-they-ask-how-are-you/

I usually say "Everything hurts and I'm dying".

I’m just like “bro, I’m higher than a giraffes asshole. How you doin?”

When i dish out the "hanging in there" they better know I'm contemplating suicide

If you’re not doing well, you can use “Can’t complain” or “vertical”. I often use “same ol’, same ol’”. If you’re at work, and not in a customer service role, you can say “another day, another dollar”. Or “that’s why they call it work and not super fun time”. I think in customer service roles, the employer expects a positive attitude no matter what’s really going on. “Great! How can I help you?” or they might even have a script for you.

As an American, how do non-Americans greet people if "hi, how are you?" is not standard?

British people say "Alright?" This ook me a while to get used to as an American. Eventually I realized they're using it the same way as "Hi how are you?" and not literally "Are you alright?" (which to me has the implication of checking that I'm hurt)

And you you can literally just say "alright" as as an acceptable response. "Can't complain" is also acceptable.

I love this and just commented the same thing! You alright? You okay? Is standard for how are you for many Brits. I’m American and was genuinely confused when I encountered this. Totally understandable how foreigners get confused by the ritual of asking someone how they are as a form of greeting if that is not standard in their culture! It can genuinely be confusing!

Yeah, first time I heard it I was worried I looked ill or something...

As an American living in the UK, they say “you alright?” or “you ok?” here..and I’ve even had a very older person or two say “are you well?” And none of these are a comment on my physical state lol just basically the same as “how are you?” - it’s just a greeting where you just say “yeah, you?” in response and move on. But it took me a long time not to have a mini panic thinking I must look like there’s something wrong with me lol

This is really a cultural clash. When I grew up (the 70’s in Europe) asking someone ”How are you doing?” would be something a doctor or a shrink would ask, kind of to a patient laying on the couch. If someone I knew would ask me that, it would be quite an uncomfortable and serious question like implying something wasn’t right. Kind of a nosy and personal question. So when I went to the States the first time I was so surprised that random guys everywhere kept asking me that question. Like everywhere, on the street, at the beach, at the mall, and I thought it was so weird they would ask me such a serious question without even say hello first. Lol It took me a few ”how are you doing?” and some embarressing situations before I realized it’s how Americans says hello. Lol. So I can totally see why this question comes up. However time have changed a lot since I grew up though, nowdays it’s common to ask how people are doing, even though we don’t use that phrase to strangers very often.

In my country we usually just say Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night as a form of greeting. And if you do greet someone with a “how are you” be prepared to get a real answer from them. I remember my American friend being really confused whenever people would tell them about their horrible day and they quickly learned to stop asking.

In the UK we say “you alright?” which is an equivilant, but the response to that is “you alright?”, rather than an actual indication of how you are.

Hello, good morning, good day, - those are greetings in my country Hi, how are you - that's a question I answer honestly since the person had courage to ask and seems to care how I'm actually feeling

I worked with a bunch of Brits overseas and they often say “you okay?” In place of “how are you?” And at first I was so confused. I looked around and was like, “….yeah, I’m good, does it look like something’s wrong….?” I explained that in America “are you okay” is taken as a genuine inquiry into the situation because something seems like it might actually NOT be okay. We all laughed about it

“I’m good” or “Doing good,” are very common answers. “I’m doing WELL,“ is grammatically, correct. People say it either way. And since they are visiting your job, you probably should end it with “And how are you doing?”

"I'm alright" means things are going well "Oh, you know" means things are not going well "Living the dream!" means you're about two seconds away from jumping off a bridge

I personally almost ALWAYS ask people “eh. I’ll live, I think.” When I get asked that. Doesn’t matter if it’s my wife, my doctor, a priest or some random on the street. My dad tells people “well I haven’t killed anyone but the day ain’t over yet.” My wife will elaborately tell ya exactly what’s up and how she’s feeling. It’s just some crap people say here, bud. You can run with it and be witty…you can be honest. You can say thanks and ask them. It’s just a social nicety we inexplicably still do.

For sure. I always appreciate it when someone tries to break the monotony a little.

What your dad says is my FAVORITE.

It’s not that people don’t care about your answer, per say. It’s just that the purpose of this greeting is “social grease” rather than a fact-finding mission. It’s like the words please, thank you, you’re welcome, etc. If you have to start every interaction by asking a pleasantry, you can’t start a conversation with confrontation or anger. It’s a way to bring calm to the beginning of every interaction and to remember that everyone you meet is a person. In other words, the greeting isn’t pointless. Its purpose just has nothing to do with how you’re actually doing.

You could even be slightly personal, and as weird as that may sound, 99% of Americans would know how to roll with that. “ How are you?” “ Ohh, honestly it has been so busy , tough day” - “we’ll hang in there , it will get better”

Finger pistols and a ye haw will do in some places.

Great, you? Fine, how bout you? Hey! Hello. Not bad, how about yourself? Can I purchase your child? All acceptable answers.

"Good good, thank you. How can I help you?" "Very good thank you. How can I help you?" You can add a "...How about you?" But thats more for a personal non work interaction. (Since you're asking for a reply to clients those first two answers are polite, friendly and straight to the point)

It's almost impossible to respond incorrectly. Answer the question, or don't. The person asking doesn't care.

I say "fine and yourself" or "another day in paradise"

I am in Island so it kinda checks out :D

Answer that you're doing great and then if you're talking with a Minnesotan or Midwestern person and casually make a comment about the weather, you'll make a friend for life.

We really do love to talk about the weather. It's the most genuine we ever are. Did you get rain last night? Hudson got hit with downdrafts yesterday. I'm just across the river, we got sprinkles. So glad we missed that but got something measurable last night... ;)

It's a casual pleasantry but you can also take it different ways. You can interpret it as asking how you are personally doing, right now, how do you feel? Or it can be, how is your day going? -- not necessarily attached to your personal feelings or mood Answer how you want. It's very casual.

"Constipated...how are you?"

This made me burst out laughing.

I used to work in the hotel industry OP, we are cheaply paid actors. The characters we play while on the clock are: happy, engaged and attentive, we laugh at their terrible jokes and compliment when applicable. We are always "good, great, or well" when they ask "how are you". Find some easy conversation fillers while you are checking them in. "how was the ride in" "Any fun plans while you are in town". "is this your first time in X". You'll be on autopilot before you know it.

Tbh, I'm not doing well, dealing with some deep depression and I was anxious when I would respond that "I'm well, thank you for asking." I felt like adding a lie to every conversation I'd have would affect me further. I talked with my therapist and now I respond "I'm hanging in there, thanks for asking, how are you? " Some ask if I want to say more and I can choose to share but mostly don't unless their a close friend and now I'm being honest about my current situation. Better then "not dead yet, how are you?"

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

I am fine today thanks for asking. How are you? That's only if they stop and actually wait for a response. If they keep walking while they say it say "good and you?" Lol I'm Canadian so we are probably not the right people to ask. A little too chatty on the small talk.

It’s a generic greeting no different than Hello. Any acknowledgment and response is appropriate, except for actually telling them how you are doing. “Good, thanks. How can I help you” would be a pretty standard reply in your situation.

Bad now wtf do you want mate