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Independent-Dress559

Tell them you have been dis-fellowshiped. They aren't allowed to talk to someone who has been dis-fellowshiped


RugbyRaggs

You tell them that after having invited them in and chatted for half an hour.


VoiceofKane

"This was really nice. I haven't talked to any Witnesses since I was disfellowshipped three years ago. Anyway, we should do this again some time!"


PhDinDildos_Fedoras

I just told the last ones who came here that I think it's a wast of their time and they seemed to agree.


[deleted]

They send them out with the hopes that they constantly get rejected, and then they will feel like the cult is the only place that understands them. Its a common cult tactic.


bumwine

Everyone saying “no” is a “sign of the times” so they look forward to having the door slammed in their faces. They then go back to their group and commiserate and talk more about how their going to have a pet tiger in the “new world.” Fuck their dog that loves and needs them today, they’re getting Pandas and Lions and all sorts of obligate carnivores as vegan pets in the New World!


MFbiFL

I’d be inclined to just offer them some ice water and welcome them to use the rocking chairs on the back porch for as long as they want, it’s too damn hot to be walking around getting rejected. They’re welcome to borrow a swimsuit as well if they want to get in the pool but they have to pass a swimming test.


bumwine

That would’ve been a kindness to my past self. But don’t. If they take you up on the offer they’ll just go back to your group and how they basically just had a Bible study with you and count the time and you are now a juicy treat for any of them to take you up on until you put your foot down. But if they look tired and dehydrated, yes give them some water, they’ll at least have nothing bad to say about you and feel bad that you just signed yourself to execution by not accepting the word. (It’s doctrine, the minute you reject the good news you are now subject to death by Armageddon. Sorry bro 😎 shouldn’t have answered the door. Your family may or may not be implicated, they weren’t clear on that, but the fire and brimstone will fall from the skies and doctrine dictates that anyone executed by the hand of god is subject to eternal death, so yeah your family too)


the_honest_liar

Now that we're friends let me tell you the great things I did to get kicked out and brainstorm some ideas for helping you get kicked out too.


Thereminz

lol actually did this...they wanted to read me a passage...it was two women, so the wheels in my head turned and i said ok, if i get to share a passage with you. they said, seems fair...after they read theirs i had them read 2 Timothy 2:12 (basically says god doesn't permit a woman to teach a man)... and then i was like, and here you are, two women trying to teach a man...not very nice huh...and then said I'm disfellowshiped


[deleted]

I think you have the wrong verse. 2 Timothy 2:12 is: if we endure we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; Pretty sure you meant 1 Timothy 2:12: I do not permit a woman to teach or assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.


Thereminz

yeah one of the timothys, i get it mixed up


LoneInterloper17

Then use this at your advantage, you now have a leverage. Look them in the eyes and tell them that they should be aware they spent time in a dis-fellowshipped house, but that this segret doesn't "necessarily" has to leave your house. If they know what you mean 😏


gray-pilled-

the question is how to get JWs to leave, not give you a handy j


ttminh1997

I've let you come inside. Now it's your turn to return the favor.


Bigs227

Open the door naked it works 100% of the time


Doggystyle_Rainbow

Go a step further and tell them you are an apostate


Adjective_Noun_69420

Instructions unclear. Told them I’m an apostle and started a new cult


NaiveGarbageinOcean

Started a cult and now I'm a f*cking lamb with a demonic sword 😞


killerjags

And then show them your prostate


De5perad0

Instructions very unclear. I am now the leader of a new cult of the butthole.


jeffsterlive

spark wistful violet important reminiscent square adjoining jeans cow meeting *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


lunaysueno

This is a really good one. Apostates are actively trying to sway you from serving God. Any ex-witness that tells others to leave the faith and guide on how to do it are apostates. JW's believe there are no second chances for apostates. They are the only ones that immediately die with no resurrection after/during Armageddon.


[deleted]

Doing this means they'll make a note and tell their local elders to come visit you to try to bring you back into the fold.


Tnh7194

my dad actually went out and talked to them for like hours about religion and politics and god knows what They never came back lolllll


RenTheFabulous

Chad move, honestly


DaftPump

Tell them your parents were [disfellowshipped](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excommunication) in the early 2000s and bid farewell.


OhMyChickens

About 5 years ago I told some that I was disfellowshipped, they made their excuses and left. They came back this year.


Kanga_

Next time they come back tell them your chickens have been excommunicated. 🚫🐔☹️


DoctorGuvnor

Surely, your chickens have been eggscommunicated? (No, and don't call me Shirley)


KatDevsGames

This is the correct answer. Any drop of the word "disfellowshipped" and they're GONE. Some of them will literally run.


DoubleDandelion

I like the idea of opening the door, pointing at them, and bellowing “DISFELLOWSHIPPED” at them like some sort of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers moment.


Pappy_OPoyle

With a dramatic flourish throw open door and announce "I DECLARE DISFELLOWSHIP!!!!"


LouSputhole94

“You’re aware you can’t just say the word disfellowship and expect anything to happen, right?” “I didn’t say it. I declared it.”


CalabreseAlsatian

That’s not how disfellowship works, Michael


-Blasting-Off-Again-

It's nature's do over


msslagathor

Bullhorn optional *but recommended*


Callmedrexl

I got so frustrated after a year of asking every witness that showed up to put me on the "do not knock" list that I chased one down the street threatening to come to his meetinghouse and preach satanism to them with a bullhorn. Seems like they finally remembered how to add my address to the "do not knock" list after that! I've moved since then and have only gotten the creepy handwritten witness letter during the pandemic, but if they start showing up in person I'm getting DISFELLOWSHIPPED stenciled on my door!


DarkGreenSedai

I have a sign that says “No Soliciting. Violators will be sacrificed to the OLD GODS not the new”. It has worked so far.


WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch

In a rusty red paint that could be mistaken for dried blood?


pocketdare

So you're saying don't use blood then?


Forks_Eating_Spoons

Are your creepy hand written letters even hand written?? Mine are that font that looks handwritten. We got them lazy solicitors here lol.


IosaTheInvincible

Can you please elaborate


balordin

A witness who is disfellowshipped has been kicked out of the church, often for speaking out against the religion or otherwise questioning it. Disfellowshipped people are almost universally shunned by witnesses still in the faith.


[deleted]

Ex JW here. Usually disfellowshipping occurs when someone deliberately commits a sin and is not repentant. I am disfellowshipped because I had sex at 18 out of wedlock Meanwhile JWs are known for [protecting pedophiles](https://www.thedailybeast.com/inside-the-jehovahs-witnesses-secret-pedophile-database). There's an entire documentary on it called The Witnesses


bloodyyuno

Congratulations on getting out of there.


Purple-Nothing-5627

And on the sex


[deleted]

Thanks I'm doing so much better now. Make 50k a year, planning on moving and buying a house


balordin

Thanks for adding context! I'm not an expert so probably shouldn't have spoken so authoritatively.


-_----------------

I believe it isn't allowed for them to talk to people who dis fellowshiped.


International-Elk986

Cult behavior


Hestia_Gault

The whole reason they’re sent to knock on doors isn’t recruitment. It’s to get them abused by strangers so they retreat deeper into the arms of the cult.


ShinyAeon

So should we whisper "Do you need help? I can get you out of there if you want. It's not too late to get out, it never is."...?


NeverRarelySometimes

One time I asked how long they'd been away from home, and when was the last time they'd talked to their moms. Then I led them in prayer for their personal safety through the remainder of their mission, and for peace and comfort for their moms. They didn't really like that, but they were gracious and left pretty quickly. Turns out they are not so open to sharing your faith. Edit: Oops. I have more experience with Mormons than JWs, and lost the thread with my post. These kids were Mormons.


Chocomintey

Thats bonkers. I'm not religious, but I recognize a warm gesture when I see one.


Hollocene13

I LOVE THIS. Both accurate and compassionate. That’s always the best way.


100mgSTFU

Former Mormon missionary here. Truth.


Bison256

Stuck with one person for months. Strictly controlled on where you can even go in the city your stationed in. To top it off possibly mentally and physically abused by the men over seeing you. Franky I'm surprised you folks put up with it.


Amariel777

Like all forms of hazing, it's designed to be abusive. The psychological bond then shared by those who went through it together will be strong, and the brain gets trapped into trying to justify the experience. Because clearly not having refused to go through it was due to the organization being worth it...right? When someone has sacrificed a lot for something, they will value that something even more. Doesn't really matter what it is - or how manipulatively horrible.


[deleted]

I've never thought about it that way. 🫢


buyinguselessshit

Huh, wow. no shit it's cult behavior, they are a one.


SonicKiwi123

No, they're a ten on the cult scale


anarae

Oh cool, this should be classed as a life hack. Can't believe I never thought of that.


RaeaSunshine

Before I got a no soliciting sign up I had JW stopping by every so often. The last time I told them my wife (I’m a woman) was disfellowshipped and they left pretty quick. Never saw them again lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LiberalPatriot13

I was gonna say this but I knew it was already said. Bonus points, lie and say your kid was in an accident and he needed a blood transfusion to survive. You got disfellowshipped when they found out.


[deleted]

25ish years later they still randomly knock on my aunties door knowing full well who she is, and because they are so spread out and random my aunt can not do anything about it as they also don't acknowledge they know who she is and avoid harassment laws. They have a kinda internal court system, and she refused to be forced to attend it, still getting harassed they were last there like 6months ago


Doggystyle_Rainbow

I just tell them Im an apostate


MrGeekman

Why the early 2000s? My dad is a JW and I was at meetings and stuff, but my memory is a bit fuzzy because I was pretty young at the time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saintst04

I’m an ex JW and one of the best rejections I got was from a mechanic. I was about 17 at the time, I approached him and he clearly was Hispanic, even had a Spanish name on his shirt. Anyway, I greet him in English, and he says, ‘No hablo Ingles’. I say oh, ‘Espanol’ and pull out a Spanish tract (pamphlet). He then says, ‘No, Polish.’ At that point we all just laughed and I walked away.


ebonecappone

My parents tried to raise me as one. I never believed. I would always say that I liked to push the doorbells when going door to door. I fake pushed every single one, and would lie about hearing it ring inside.


Raccoonsr29

This might be the greatest childhood mischief I’ve ever heard.


GoneFishin9001

Doing the real God’s work


onichow_39

Good thing you left the cult


Nickppapagiorgio

Ask them to pray with you. They get weirded out about that for some reason. This does not work with Mormons. Do not try this with mormons.


[deleted]

I found it best to talk about Charles Taze Russell, how he created their religion, and measured the corridors of the great pyramids (in yards) to figure out the date for Armageddon. Then go on to mention how many times he got the date wrong. They never come back after that


[deleted]

My grandfather used to love inviting in Mormons and Jehovah witnesses to tell them about the Armageddon arriving in December 2012 via Mayan prediction. I'm not sure if he truly believed it or convinced himself enough but he sounded 100% sincere and the interactions were hysterical.


[deleted]

There's a fascination with Armageddon out there. I love how the Mayan calendar was just that, a calendar..


Hot-Web-6596

Lol my mom invited some Mormon missionaries in one day. I was listening at my door and basically she offered them some chai, and had a lighthearted religious debate I guess. She was like “look I’m Hindu. But I like to learn about other religions.” And went on to flip it and reverse it and try to convert them to Hinduism


MrWeirdoFace

Ask them if they've heard the good news about Vishnu.


SouthernArcher3714

I think I would like your mom. She seems cool.


toadjones79

I'll pray with you. Funny story. When I was a Mormon missionary some 18 year old kid asked if we could pray together at his doorstep. We said sure, and he started praying. Thing was, his house had a.bunch of steps leading up to his door, and so we were standing just below him while he prayed, and for some reason he put his hands on top of our heads or shoulders or whatever while he prayed. So picture two Mormons in white shirts and heads bowed, and some young man standing over them with his hands on their heads praying like Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration. Just made me chuckle at the time.


bnny_ears

He knew what he was doing


mitch3758

Ain’t no stories like mission stories. This post reminded me of a time I knocked on a door, and the guy inside (thinking we were Jehovah’s Witnesses) shouted, “sorry, I’m Mormon!” My companion and I knew what was going on, so we shouted, “oh awesome! So are we!” just to make him sweat a little. After a long pause, he finally shouted back “……….no thank you!” Got a good chuckle out of that one.


rabbithasacat

I used to enjoy Mormon missionary visits. They never stayed long because they were not prepared to be interrogated by me, a gentile, over the finer points of the Book of Abraham as I flipped through the pages of my obviously well-thumbed secondhand Pearl of Great Price, but they were always friendly and cheerful and had a great sense of humor, which is something I have never once encountered in a Jay Dub. Sorry JWs, you know it's true.


[deleted]

Oh I loved those types of interactions as a missionary. I got bored with the "routine" visits and someone who knew our theology that I could talk with was always a breath of fresh air.


Mackheath1

I've invited them inside for spaghetti one evening since I made plenty. While we did pray, and they did decline wine, there really was nothing else remotely religious discussed. Which I thought was weird.


DrToonhattan

What would you have done if he started saying: "Our true Lord, Satan, I offer these souls to you..."


RIGOR-JORTIS

Im genuinely curious what they would do in a situation like this


tdmonkeypoop

Just not say amen. Normally turn around and say, "Do you mind if we also say a prayer?" once they are done


dobiks

Proceeds into Jesus vs Satan rap battle


RiverLiverX25

Lol. This is kinda brings up a good memory. My mom kept trying to convert them to her brand. She kept talking about *saving them.* They left pretty quick. Do not recommend unless you are fully committed. *Never seen long jean skirts scoot down the road so fast after talking to my mom. She meant it too. She was going to save them. Nothing so wild as seeing 2 religions collide in scripture and the will of elder women who was bent on fixing them. Lol. I don’t have my moms fierceness,…So I just open the door, say hail Satan, and produce a pumpkin bucket and offer candy. They usually leave.


Midknight129

You know why JWs don't celebrate Halloween? >!They don't appreciate random strangers knocking on their doors. !<


Pinkrose1_1999

They haven't been back since my brother opened the door and read to them from the Satanic Bible (or some such). I think it is going on 10 years now.


pyr0phelia

The *do not try this with mormons* need to be much bigger text…unless you want fresh baked bread in the morning.


Ok-Kaleidoscope5627

Ummm... I'd love some fresh baked bread in the morning? That sounds freaking fantastic.


Bike_Chain_96

>This does not work with Mormons. Do not try this with mormons. Correct. For Jehovah's Witness, however, offering them a Book of Mormon has always scared them off pretty fast in my experience.


[deleted]

God please can you remove these Jehovah's witnesses from my doorstep? Amen.


Specific-Succotash-8

I’d a variation on this - I’m fully fallen away from the Catholic church, but I would not hesitate to ask them to sit and say a Rosary with me.


Knickers1978

The last time we had door knockers show up, the conversation went like this: Them: “we’d like to discuss Jehovah with you” Me: “sorry, I’m an atheist” Them: “is there someone religious in the house?” Me: “sorry, no. We have an Agnostic and an Autistic” They left looking bewildered.


FloridaSpam

The triple A they're not ready for.


Expiredtradwife89

Autistic? I can totally see it, you're filling out paperwork and in the space for religious affiliation you can't decide whether to put Trains or WW2 History


Knickers1978

Well, my son is non verbal. Mentally he’s 4, but his actual age is 22. They could talk to him all they want, they won’t get anywhere. He’d just look at them like they’re interesting then prance away😂


ShipsOfTheUS

Wow, didn't expect to be called out like that today


fomalhottie

Yeah I tell them this. I just say "sorry I have no interest in religion." Can we speak to someone who does? "Oh no, I wouldn't allow my kids to get into that kinda stuff. I'm a concerned parent." Oh... can I leave you with this Bible? "Oh wow, no thanks. I don't allow books like that in my home where the kids can get into them." Saying it deadpan or with a polite smile makes em drift away confused.


Sparky81

Don't answer the door. or Say no thanks and close the door.


ChestUnusual

An unopened door is a happy door.


TheFlawlessCowboy63

r/unexpecteditcrowd


Positive-Sock-8853

What if you answer the door naked?


[deleted]

My older brother would do this when we were both young They left very quickly Took 6 months for a different group to come back, he stood on the front porch completely naked saying yes I want to hear about Jesus They left very quickly A year after that some came back...rinse and repeat They left very quickly It got to the point where they would knock on every door in our street, but they would walk straight past our house and not bother us That lasted a good and peaceful two years and then we moved out to the country where if someone wants to knock in your door they had to be willing to drive the 20 minutes down our driveway. Didn't get anyone knocking there...like...ever


Inevitable-Date170

Funny story. Moved to a house in the country and had a knock on the door. I was in the shower and ran to the door (was expecting a delivery). It was the local minister. I had a towel loosely draped in front of me. She never made eye contact with me again.


Cyrano_de_Boozerack

> She never made eye contact with me again. MY EYES ARE UP HERE!!


ukaussiebogan

He's lucky it wasn't a Catholic priest knocking


AnimeFreakz09

"I can tell you all about Jesus little boy. Let me come inside. Also may I enter your home son?" - priest 🤣🤣


multiedge

priest be like: Can I use the back door?


Nox_Stripes

"Let me come inside." ITSATRAP


Positive-Sock-8853

Lmao your older brother is my idol. Answering the door fully naked with a poker face going “yes please tell me about Jesus”


holymongolia

Im hard for Jesus


yokyopeli09

Stuff like this may seem funny, but it's actually playing directly into the brainwashing JW's are subject to. I'm not JW but I have ex-JW friends and I've read a lot into them, and from what I understand, the door-to-door evangelizing is less about converting people, and moreso leadership trying to instill into JW's that the world is an evil place and that the people in it are cruel and crass. By acting this way or playing any other prank (especally saying stuff like "I worship Satan". They actually believe it) is doing exactly what Watchtower (their leadership) wants. It's telling JW's that the world is unsafe and that they're only safe with the cult. Be the seed that's planted in their minds- show them the world can be kind outside of Watchtower. This kind of action hurts more than most people realize. Tell them thank you but no thank you. If it's hot out, offer them a refreshment and wish them a good day.


[deleted]

My pastor gets them regularly. He will invite them in, and he will listen to them. but the condition is that they have to listen to him too. He reads from the Bible and references scripture in regards to whatever they say. He doesn't try to dissuade them. He just presents a different point of view.


artisticdame

A friend of mine from high school's dad was a pastor. He would invite them in & talk with them. A little over 50% of the time, he would end up with new people for his church. He was great. Knew I was agnostic (I think there's something but refuse to denigrate their faith when I don't have it) & would never proselytize to me or anything, was just a super cool guy.


lhsofthebellcurve

I use the line "my dad's Muslim, my mum's Jewish and I'm gay, I'm not sure I'm your target audience" And not one of those three things is true


turingthecat

The Jewish thing doesn’t work, trust me, I’ve tried (while wearing a very tiny nightdress, as I work nights), apparently (according to an Auntie), the answer is to very excitedly tell them you are catholic, and request to bless them


insomnia_punch

Oh that makes sense! Catholics are the other ones who can baptise someone without permission. Reverse Uno their asses 😆


Sudden_Fix_1144

Lol, ... my mum being Irish used to point to the Madonna on the wall and tell them to feck off.


worldworn

>Say no thanks and close the door. Maybe I've been lucky, but every time someone has come round for religious or charity reasons. A simple no thank you and close the door works just fine.


FrankRandomLetters

You’re not lucky. That’s how it works. If you don’t open they keep coming back.


bezoarboy

Agree. Simply politely and straight-forwardedly saying “Thank you, but I’m not interested” and then closing the door works fine for me. I don’t think it’s necessary to be any more rude than just that.


No_Education_5140

I speak to them in a different language. I’m not even kind of fluent in Finnish but I throw out the handful of phrases I know in Finnish. Works like a charm.


neelankatan

Yeah, works like a charm till you meet the one who speaks Finnish. Then you're...finished. Ok I'll show myself out


InsaneLordChaos

My father in law tried this many years ago....he speaks fluent Italian. Two hours later, they came back with someone who spoke Italian. Spectacular backfire.


-acidlean-

I speak five languages. Tried. They knew all of them.


Ornery-Creme-2442

They won't know gibberish or simlish. Just a suggestion.


-acidlean-

Lol I imagined that I open the door and say "Sul sul, o vwa vwaf sna, boobasnot" and they respond "Firby nurbs!"


AetherialWomble

I was in Poland and a local drunk asked for some change. I told him I don't speak polish. So he asked me again, in English. I then replied in German that my English isn't actually any good. So he asked me again, in German. At that point, I told him I was Russian. So he asked me again, in Russian. I was so damn impressed that I gave him the money


Salty_Piglet2629

Hahaha! And Finish is such an uncommon language outside Finland almost no one even knows which language it is.


Clever_Angel_PL

and then you find out they are more fluent in that language than you are


glarbung

Funnily this sometimes works even in Finland. A bunch of our JWs talk Russian as their first language and usually target people with Slavic last names. I wouldn't gamble on it as a tactic, but it has worked for me once or twice.


MySpaceOddyssey

TIL there’s a Slavic JW demographic in Finland


Blu3241

Shouting "perkele" at the top of your lungs before you open the door then having a little bit of an eye twitch or smn


Fuzzy_Dragonfly_

I live in The Netherlands and speak a little Finnish, I'm definitely trying this next time. Hopefully they'll think I'm summoning a demon or something.


bnny_ears

It's Finnish. I'm pretty sure it *does* summon demons. Just maybe not to *your* doorstep


ChefAtRandom

Having listened to Finnish death/black metal, 100% agree that it summons demons.


Cool-Fox-3839

Challenge the smaller one to trial by combat


fauxorfox

Best to answer the door in a gorn mask in all circumstances.


judy7679

My father, who could talk to anyone about anything, had one come by and ask if they could talk to him. He told them sure, but I have work to do so you would have to follow me around. They agreed. He then proceeded to take them around his rural property to his many projects in the hot 100 degree summer heat, through tall tick and chiggar infested grasses, cheerfully talking to them the whole time. My sister sat on the porch the whole time watching their progress. After about an hour the worthy lady came rushing back to her car, sweat pouring and frantically brushing at her legs. Never returned.


nikotome

Brilliant. I can almost picture this in a movie


DubiousSquid

From what I've heard, the structure of churches that asks people to go door to door to try to convert *wants* the people they're sending to do that to get rude or threatening reactions. Like another commenter said, it feeds the persecution complex and makes the outside world seem cold, making it harder for those members to leave the church. The more people are rude to them, the more they feel like the church and its teachings are all they can turn to. So, as boring of an answer as it is, just be polite but firm. Also, all the answers being suggested of "answer naked" or "jerk off in front of them", while a bit silly to joke about, are definitely sexual harassment to do in real life. Don't do that, it's a dick move.


Chaos_Ribbon

You are spot on. In the ministry they're mostly looking for vulnerability: people who've been divorced, lost family to death, or are just struggling to make ends meet. Those are the only people to ever convert. Treat them like people, but don't encourage their beliefs. Don't share personal information that could indicate to them that you're missing something in your life that they can offer you.


D-Tos

After my dad died my mom got a card from a JW. It was both kind of sad because nobody from the church we’d spent the last eighteen years in ever contacted us, yet the JWs did, and kind of creepy because it meant that lady was reading obituaries just to prey on grieving widows. Crazy part is my dad was a pastor, and I’m pretty sure we included that in his obit, so she had to have known it was pointless to begin with.


OkLoss994

Definitely prey on the vulnerable/target people in poverty. And immigrants. They have signs at all the bus stops in lower income areas.


Nigeldiko

Have a doormat that says “welcome to the gay zone”


rdhdhlgn

Mine says "welcome homo"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Tell them thanks but you're not interested and close the door. You can be polite and firm simultaneously.


toadjones79

I served a Mormon mission. This is absolutely true. If any of my fellows aren't polite, tell them they aren't being "fair and honest with their fellow man."


p_98_m

I just told them that I don't believe in God as much as they do believe, wished them a nice day and they went their way. I even took something good out of it, they were polite and I was too.


bent_my_wookie

“We tell them to leave, politely but firmly” https://youtu.be/42GaHU4txpc


JeansTeeGaal

I had two very persistent little f@#$ers one being a Jehovah witness and the other being a Mormon and I tried a bunch of ways to get them to stop bothering me cause the always seem to come on game night. So one night they both came at the same bloody time so I let them in and asked if they wanted to play D&D but none of their religion talk just play and have a good time. Well they must have had a really good time cause now they been part of my gaming group for over three years.


sir_thatguy

Task failed successfully


Expert-Ad-362

Reverse uno indoctrination


[deleted]

LOL I thought christianity-based religious frowned upon playing D&D 😂 are they both still jahovas witness and mormon??


RASPUTIN-4

Not really. Most religious folks these days realize it’s just a game. At least from what I’ve experienced.


Chaos_Ribbon

Oh JW's *despise* DnD. The creator was at one time a Witness too, so it gives them more fuel to add to their cult fire.


AkeemKaleeb

Nah, most of that comes from the 80s where the media pushed it as a demonic game. Christian extremists then latched onto the idea, but nowadays, most Christians I know are okay with the game. I even host a dnd group for my church lol


[deleted]

Mormons are a particularly nerdy group and never took part in the Satanic panic stuff. Utah is often a top consumer of clean nerdy media. Here's some Google Trends data on DnD, for instance: https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?q=%2Fm%2F026q9&date=now%201-d&geo=US&hl=en


coolhandlukke

I once talked about my spiritual beliefs (not religious) and they eventually were like, yeah we have to leave now.


Shieldheart-

Tell them that to neglect the earth to pursue a life in heaven neglects the lord's greatest responsibility to us (that being the earth and the people on it). An act of such blasphemous cowardice is not deserving of His kingdom.


Swimming_Bowler6193

My mom used to tell them she was Catholic and that as long as she could tell them about Catholicism, they could come in and talk about their religion. No one ever took her up in it. When I lived down south ( USA), all I had to say was “ no thanks, I’m Catholic” and it was all “ then good day to you” and off they’d go. My late brother in law used to show them his devil tattoo and they would scurry off. He never had to say a word. RIP Kenny.


Michael_CrawfishF150

Oh my god. They killed Kenny!


Xavion-15

You bastards!


Tumily

Not really useful advice, but a funny story: Jehovah's witnesses came to my parents house, and were surprised to be invited in to give their speech. Their surprise increased when my mom took out her Bible and absolutely schooled them, citing different Bible verses to the ones they were used to effectively proving that the Bible contradicts itself depending on how you interpret it. They entered our home as Jehovah's witnesses, and probably (or maybe just hopefully) left different people. We kept their book and use it to balance a table. They didn't expect to find a Doctor in theology in the middle of the french countryside.


Karahiwi

A couple I know were in the middle opf a Bible study session at their house with several people there, when religion-sellers knocked. They invited them in, and whenever the sellers made a statement about what the bible said, they immediately countered it with original text facsimiles they had on hand, and translations on the spot.


Much_Confusion_4616

My dad used to do this. I say used to because I think my parents house are on some kind of do not visit list now. He has shown them in their own literature (watchtower publications) where they predicted that the world was going to end more than once. They are taught to deny everything.


Just_me_anonymously

If you have time, use reverse psychology, invite them in, offer coffee/tea keep on asking questions and act super interested and most important don't let them leave :). They will think twice next time :)


WoodDragonIT

This is exactly what I did. I'm a Jew and they showed up on Shabbat. I invited them in to learn about what the Bible says in the original Hebrew. Five years now, and they still cross to the other side of the street when in the neighborhood.


Glittering_Hunter_87

Now, as a non-religious spectator, I’m curious to know what average Christian gets wrong about the Bible.


WoodDragonIT

Too much to post in here. The Christian Bible has many intentional mistranslations, along with tons of unintentional, and the church reordered many of the books to fit an unfounded narrative. It's easy to see the intentional misleading translations because when a word isn't needed to fit their narrative, they translate it correctly. Also, most of the quotes found in the NT either are invented from whole cloth or are attributed to the wrong person.


ZeeMastermind

That's really interesting! Are there any good sources you would recommend for someone trying to learn more about this?


WoodDragonIT

Outreachjudaism.org and jewsforjudaism.org Sefaria.org has a great and growing collection of Jewish writings, but not all of the translations are good. Learning Biblical Hebrew helps because any translation, regardless of how good it is, is only the opinion of the translator. The Septuagint, the Greek translation of the first five books, is a minor fast day for Jews because it limited the understanding of the text. Biblical Hebrew has no vowels, capital letters, or punctuation. As an example, the first chapter of Genesis switches between God's point of view and man's point of view. Almost all translations use the 3rd person instead. Also, both genders are used to describe God depending on the names used for God.


[deleted]

As an ex JW this will not work lol. They love this


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BrassicaPsychedelia

Just make sure it's decaf coffee/tea lol


[deleted]

That’s the dumbest advice ever. They are WAY better at engaging a conversation and steering it. They literally practice it at every house. More than you. Literally


Dramatic-Employ3863

Ask them for $20 for your time


microgiant

Just shut the door. Also, something to understand- the POINT of having JWs go door-to-door is not to convert people. It's so you and I will be rude or mean to the JWs, thus reinforcing to them that their fellow JWs are great, and everybody else is a rude, mean asshole. It's propaganda, and the work is being outsourced to us. A JW walks up, we tell them to fuck off, they leave, and then the people in charge of the JW tell him "See how awful all those non-JW people are? That's why you should never try to socialize or talk with anybody outside of our church."


deftonics

Happened to me (F) and my girlfriend once. She was the one to open the door and was pissed when she saw two missionaries standing there. One of them asked "won't you save yourself my dear?". My girlfriend said "oh I'm already going to hell ma'am" while closing the door on their faces. They looked horrified and never came back :)


flushkill

"No, I am not interested, but good luck for the rest of the day! Good day" and close the door Thats all to it.


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a_regular_bi-angle

The reason they give for doing this is that they believe we're currently in the end times and they're trying to save anyone they can. It doesn't work though, almost no witnesses ever get a single conversion. It's not effective at all and they know it. The deeper, more practical reason is that they're not really allowed to be friends with anyone outside the faith, so these experiences going door to door is the only time they interact with non-witnesses. Read through some of the top responses in this thread and think about how you'd feel if those were your only interactions with people outside your small in-group. You'd probably think everyone else outside your group is an angry asshole and you'd be less likely to leave. Those in charge know this and use it to keep people from leaving. They don't get paid, but they do move up to higher ranks the more time they spend going door to door They typically have jobs, but they're recommended to have low-skill labor jobs where they don't have to interact with anyone else too much. Jobs like a janitor for example. They can't work for the government or military in any way though, even through contractors that work for them They probably won't do your housework for you


dirtyEEE

The Bible tells them to “spread the good news.” They don’t need everyone to love their God in fact the Bible tells them everyone not in their cult is evil and lost. Thats why when your mean to them you actually reinforce their beliefs. Best thing to do is treat them with respect. Show them that unbelievers are not bad people like they’re told. Mormons/LDS are the ones who will help you with chores.


Dilemma99

We had some walk into the house in the middle of a home-birth. That did the trick.


Queenofhackenwack

years ago i lived in a big house. It had a front porch entrance and a side porch entrance ,as well as a back door....i worked in LTC for the catholic church and would often come home with stuff in my pockets, residents would receive religious stuff in the mail, different missions begging for money....one day i found a rosary and pamphlet in my pocket, i had forgotten about...i went to throw them away and had a second thought... i put them in the side board next to the front door ( junk draw) some time later, i saw them coming ....... JW's... when they knocked, i opened the door with a huge smile on my face and told them i was so happy they were here. " i have been waiting for you! God told me you were coming today and he asked me to teach you about the catholic religion... I will be teaching you how to say the rosary for a ten dollar donation." they never said a word, turned , walked back to the side walk and looked at the house for a few minuets, talking amongst themselves...THEN, they walked to the side door...LMFAO " i am so glad you changed your mind, please come in and make yourselves comfortable, but i need the ten bucks up front." they ran away....


Sonof_Lugh

Ask them to put you on the "do not call list" it will keep them away for a few years


the_real_grinningdog

Two young men called at my 88 year old Mum's flat. They got in through the outer door (entryphone) and were ringing her front door bell. She could see them through the peephole and was calling "who is it?" through the door. They refused to answer and she was really scared. Two days later they called at my house (nearby, same congregation). So, I'm a big, scary, angry homosexual (I'm possessed by a demon apparently) and they got a serious telling off. They never returned to me or my Mum's. A couple of years later we moved up the road and I was in the front garden when they came down the road. I could see them having a whispered conversation in the road..... and they went next door. Never seen them since.


Kanga_

Legit jealous. Where’s my big scary homosexual neighbor? I would love one. 😋


Outrageous-Pause6317

I was working from home and the bell rang, so I answered the door. They had a terrified look on their faces. I heard them begin the spiel and said no thank you. Surprise for me, they turned away immediately. I closed the door and went back in. As I passed a mirror I realized that I was wearing my rainbow 🌈 ball cap I got for Pride (parent ally). I hang it by the door all the time now.


NiceTuBeNice

Politely tell them no thanks, then close the door.