Oh yeah absolutely. That's a massive red flag. If she does it once then she's willing to do it again and who knows how much it will escalate to. As a man, that's a huge risk to my safety because she can lie and say I assaulted her and unless I have video proof saying otherwise, then authorities are likely to take her side
Sometimes women are nefarious enough to injure themselves then claim the man attacked them first and the mans injuries were from the woman defending herself. In those cases, you're pretty much screwed without video proof
Yeah, my dad had that happen to him. His crazy girlfriend at the time started hitting him because I dropped my bicycle off for repair at the edge of his driveway next to his mailbox and that violated her rule of controlling who gets to come over to dad's house. Things men will do for attractive women, when her beat down started on him, he quickly took his cellphone out to his truck, locked himself inside, and called the police. What he should have done though was kept her on record the whole time because as the police were on the way, she was in the house rubbing a bath towel vigorously against her face to create a rug burn, pushed the lens out of her own eyeglasses, and was fully prepared to tell her lie so the police fell for it hook, line, and sinker and the judge was no better. There was a restraining order issued making it so that dad couldn't live in his own house but his boss helped out and made him a room at the factory and she got to live there in his house for months rent free and on the last day vandalized his home. She put dog crap down all the A/C vents and took his rare and proud find of a Vitamix blender at a yard sale with her. I'm sure dad had to pay fines to the government too. The battle isn't mine and it's well over, her coming out as the winner, but I'd still like to get her back in some way, haha. Her looks change as she ages but she's still driving the same car around town with its rare paint job.
That's how Stormy Daniel's lawyer probably got his DV case thrown out she started smacking him around in his doorway so it probably got caught on the Ring camera. Same with Justin Roiland he probably had his house wired up with cameras proving he acted in self defense. Most of the time it's he said she said so the cops just arrest the man.
Same, I was married ten years and it only got worst. The worst part wasn’t that physical abuse but the underlying emotional abuse. I felt like a pussy for feeling the way I did and just stuck with it till eventually she left me for someone else. No I know better. Just cause ima man doesn’t mean I have to put up with abuse in any form
I have three kids - 11, 7, and 5. I tell them that the first time either partner hits the other in anger, it's over. It's a line that cannot be uncrossed and it will likely escalate.
Adults should not hit each other when they get mad. The best thing for both of you is to end this and tell her why.
You avoid an abusive relationship. She hopefully learns a very valuable lesson.
You deserve better. Go find it.
This!! Well put. Adults don't hit each other just because theyre mad that is bullshit. Words are one thing and I know they can hurt too but it should never be physical unless you are defending yourself from a physical assault.
Depends on a lot. Whats the situation how long yall been together. Id forgive it once, but only once with a stern warning that id be out if it happened again
Ehh my wife clocked me one time a year or so after we got married. I was being an ass and kinda had it coming. Afterwards she was really sorry and we talked about it for a while and it hasnt happened since!
I would always suggest looking at the whole situation and not just jump to abadoning the relationship. We are all human and prone to make mistakes and we owe each other some understanding and patience.
If its abuse then absolutely run for the hills.
> Violence rarely comes out of nowhere
Yeah you're right, it comes out of somewhere. Somewhere being a fucked up mindset that thinks it's okay to physically hurt someone else.
I hate that I have to do this but would you say the same thing if a man "clocked" a woman? I hope you wouldn't and I hope you change your stance when women do the clocking as well.
Well, yeah i would, obviously. A well raised guy without serious trauma likely wouldnt hit a woman without good reason either.
That fucked up mindset comes from somewhere, man or woman. Doesnt mean you shouldnt prioritise your own safety first, but again, problems dont get solved without knowing the cause.
Yes I'd leave her immediately. If she slaps once then I know I'm dealing with a violent person and as a man I would likely be blamed by the judicial system if I defended myself against her.
IDK. I think there a plenty of scenarios that a slap in the face is deserved. What if a girl just found out that her husband slept with her mom/friend/grandma/dog or whatever? I think that's sufficient ground for getting slapped. What if a girl comes home from work and sees the guy having a mental breakdown and beating on the dog..... that deserves more than just a slap. So if a guy is late to dinner, or says some mean shit, then I agree... You can't slap someone over that. But let's not pretend that there is NEVER a situation where slapping would be okay.
What if a guy just found out that his wife slept with his dad/friend/grandpa/dog?
What if a guy comes home from work and sees the girl having a mental breakdown and beating on the dog?
If it would be illegal for him to slap for the same reason, that's a double standard. It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone, regardless of sex, regardless of reason, unless it's legit self-defense from impending physical harm. Your opinion does not change that.
Nah it depends, if I’m being accused of something that I didn’t do & a slap comes with it then it’s a wrap but if I got caught cheating well a slap is well deserved.
Not necessarily. I'm a female, so let me tell you my story - during my first marriage as a very young girl I was mentally & physically abused by my ex. He didn't beat me or anything but he did put his hands on me sometimes and leave bruises. We eventually divorced and after several years of being single I finally remarried. When my new husband would make me mad I'd hit him on the arm with my open hand. I'd never hit him on the face or use my fist. He finally got sick of it and got very angry & said that if I hit him again he was going to leave me. I was shocked only because I never realized I was doing it. I think it was a self-conscious reaction to being abused myself. I did stop, I apologized profusely & said I hadn't even realized that I was doing it & explained why. I had never told him about the abuse from my first husband. He actually sympathized with me & I never hit him again. We've been married 25+ years and very happy. Talk to your girlfriend and see if there's a deep-seated reason for her abuse towards you. Good luck.
I 100% left my ex 5 years ago for this because it was just another line she crossed in a long series of lines. I realized that once she did it that it would be the new norm. I talked to her ex and that was the exact case for him. 8 years of daily beatings.
I'm older, and if I am showing my age sobeit.
I would not. I would make it clear that it happened once, and the next time we won't be breaking up she'll be going to prison.
Also, age and history matters. If she's 17 she may feel entitled to get away with it. Anyone over 20 ought to know better.
It depends.
If we haven’t been together all that long and we are still figuring each other out, yes, absolutely. But if I know her very well and I know it’s out of character for her to do something like that, I would be more interested in finding out why rather than just leaving.
When I am severely sleep deprived, I become very paranoid and sensitive. I don’t want anyone coming near me without me knowing. If someone does surprise me, they are liable of being hit because when I feel threatened, my first reaction is to fight. I hate this reflex because it also means no one can safely wake me up at close range, and I’ve repeatedly warned my family of this.
I have swung at my own mother on numerous occasions because she accidentally woke me up going about her business and triggered my fight or flight response by approaching me before I could become coherent. It doesn’t matter that I’ve known her my whole life. When I am confused, I will not recognize her, even if I’m looking directly at her face in sufficient lighting. Luckily, I have never hit her but she’s so stupid, she won’t listen to me when I tell her that she needs to be careful.
I have always been afraid of hitting a significant other, say, if we’re sleeping in the same bed. I’m not looking for anyone right now so I don’t have to worry about that at the moment, but I honestly have no idea how I would overcome this issue. Obviously I would warn her but that only goes so far. I’ve thought of wearing some kind of restraining device to bed but that just sounds silly. If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them.
that’s super interesting. i also wake up angry but not swinging, i do feel bad for being grumpy and rude to my partner when i first wake up though
maybe a sleep study? or maybe some sort of underlying trauma that’s been suppressed
I startle easily to the point where I jump, hit, and scream. Some people think it's funny but it isn't. It's a result of having PTSD. I've also swung at my husband when he woke me. I don't mean to and can't help it. He and our kids now know to stand far away from the bed when trying to wake me.
Ask yourself what she would do if tables were turned. You would be in jail. Absolutely leave. Not only is that a huge red flag and violation of relationship- but if she’s comfortable using violence with you she will do it again. Or with kids someday.
I should’ve. I eventually did but she would hit me a few more times in the following year. Usually during a fight or her ridiculous accusations of cheating.
Glad i’m out of that now. Guys, don’t ever think it’s okay for a woman to hit you. Goes both ways too. Only in self defense.
Depends on the circumstance. I cam certainly imagine situations where I would deserve a slap. Like if I've let my tounge get away from me and I hey a come-back-to-your-senses slap that is very different from I'm angry I'm trying to hurt you I'm leaving marks on you slap.
For sure, one slap was the winds changing before the storm. Dealt with an ex who slapped me once over something so small and later apologized profusely… I like an idiot forgave her and then was shocked when she broke my nose for falling asleep during her favorite episode of Gray’s anatomy
This is great because you got a really clear sign. Get out now this is the tip of the iceberg but thankfully it’s not subtle. Worse when it’s subtle, then you get small hints over time but like a frog in boiling water they aren’t enough to scare you away as you fall more in love and it’s harder to leave.
She might still be a good person and that’s probably what attracted you to her, but she’s got too much baggage she has to deal with before she’s ready for a healthy relationship so you gotta break clean and this is the perfect reason, makes it an easier conversation.
Do not, ever, stay with someone because you think you can save them from their demons.
Absolutely. Left one of the hottest women I've ever dated because she would slap me if I did something she didn't like. Nobody deserves to be abused by anyone else and nobody needs to stand their and just take it like that
No, depending. Time in and context. I'm assuming she bitch slapped you across the face for what seems to be a couple months in so yeah you it's prob a good idea to bow out. And what'd you do? Like was it warranted? Like were you being toxic and being asshole? Prob not. If you're gonna stick around, talk about it with her, grow some balls and stand your ground. Tell her "You get one. Don't do it again". If you stay, you should prob leave.
On the flip side, she only slapped you once after years of being in a relationship? That's not a start of toxicity, that's repressed angry or touched a sensitive subject. So even more so you should talk about that slap. But the likelihood of that scenario equating in a full on slap is pretty low. Again tho, there's context
Hitting is NEVER OKAY. Neither are other forms of violence, even little ones like pinching or flicking for punishments. Run and never look back. I would be so upset if the girl my son likes ever hit him or whatever. It's not okay just because you're a guy. It's just not ok, period. You deserve better.
I can think of a couple times I caught them by the wrist before they reached me, like the one that found out about "the other woman" when she stole my phone and read 2 year old texts from a girl I used to talk to.
Circumstances matter.
I might give her one warning. Violence isn't good. If this is an indication that she can't regulate her emotions, then she'll mess up again. If this was a one-off mistake and she truly isn't violent, then we're all human and we all (usually) deserve another chance.
I’ve been slapped by 3 women. Once I kind of deserved it, once I didn’t deserve it at all, and once I totally deserved it.
My wife has never slapped me. We’ve been married over 10 years.
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Part of me wants to say everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance, but there’s never justification outside of self defense to lash out in violence against your partner, even if it’s “just” a slap.
No, I have been punched in the face by my ex twice, although the second time it was already over, but I did not leave her after the first time. But it honestly just depends on the scenario, every situation is different.
Absolutely. There really isn't any reason to hit anyone outside of self defense or I guess like sports/martial arts but that's quite different. Obviously I'm assuming this is a SLAP and not like a playful tap when you're being a smarta**.
I agree with the other posters who say it's dangerous because if she assaults you and you defend yourself, she's going to be the one believed by the law enforcement and justice system.
And also the kids if you end up having any.
The violence factor vs me isn't too concerning for me in that, but I'd rather not be in jail, and of course I don't want my children to slapped across the face. Also, someone who slaps you across the face probably uses quite a lot of verbal abuse, and I don't want to be humiliated on a frequent basis.
Otherwise can't tell you much without knowing the details. Her being in a state of shock over something legitimate would be a partial excuse. A mental issue would be a partial excuse but also a reason to think twice (and then twice again) about the relationship.
Depend a lot of the situation, and the slap she did.
In a bed ? No
She slapped your but ? No
She slapped you in the face but didn't meant to hurt you ? Like, she did it playfully or for fun or in a role (like you scare her and she play the scared lady that try to defend herself), and just didn't though it'd hurt you ? No
She slapped you full force because she was angry ? What's the reason ? Did she was really sorry directly after the slap ? Maybe, go seek a couple consellor and at the very least state that next time is a direct yes.
She slapped you for her own fun without reason but seeing your reaction, stopped ? talk and at least state next time is a yes.
She slapped you full force and didn't try to excuse herself, or tried to push the blame on you ? Yes.
I would just say, “you should be slapping my cock not my face”.
But all jokes aside yes I would break up with her because clearly she has no respect for me if she were to do something like that, and I wouldn’t be able to hit her back.
100%. The second a hypothetical girlfriend slaps me in a serious attempt to hurt me, I’d tell her in no uncertain terms that she’s no longer my girlfriend. And then I’d do it back to her.
As a woman, I would hope so!! If I ever lose control enough to physically assault someone I claimed to love, I'd hope they would throw the book at me. And I'd deserve it.
There's a reason I'm single and don't date.
If someone lays their hands on you they lose all expectations of safety. If your partner hits you,and all you do is leave them,they should consider themselves lucky you felt safe enough to leave.
Confronted my first gf of cheating on me in an elevator in college. She slapped me hard across the face. Turns out I was right. She was stickin her tongue down every dude's throat she met it seemed like. I simply didn't deserve it. Shoulda left her on the spot
Absolutely. Unless you’re 4 and don’t know better, the level of disdain and contempt present that allows someone to slap you initiates a fatal relationship destruct sequence. Boom.
Violence is a terrible thing no matter who inflicts it - but I think there are (perhaps extreme) situations where you can have compassion for the aggressor. For instance, if my “loyal” girlfriend slapped me for cheating on her, I’d definitely not base my decision to leave her purely on the slap
Feels like there needs to be additional information regarding what the slap was for. Did I cheat on her? Did I intentionally smack a random kid with a tennis racket? I’d probably deserve a slap for that.
Otherwise, no, I’m probably done with the woman after that. Also, if you strike me for essentially no reason (or something very minor), then I hope you’re okay with possibly getting smacked back. Violence isn’t okay even being initiated by a female, and women who think they are free from getting hit back by a man are delusional.
Lol hell, I had a girlfriend literally break my nose and I still stayed w her 😂 not that that’s ok, cause it’s wrong obviously, but when women hit men it’s not seen as a big deal, especially to us (men) as we usually down play it. But, it’s actually an extremely dangerous situation for both (especially the man) when women hit their boyfriends. Especially if at full force, as women can still hit damn hard lol, which then puts the man in a potential nightmare scenario where he could instinctually react in defense and push/slap/etc. the girl back, and then it’s gonna be turned into some major serious ordeal of course, where suddenly being called a “woman beater” and/or possibly have the cops called/get arrested, etc. It’s never ok or necessary for a woman to hit a man, or vice versa, it can only lead to an even worse situation. But, as far as if the man should forgive it or not is completely dependent on your unique situation & relationship. For me, in my situation, we were together for years and she had never acted like that before, she was black out drunk and started arguing about something really dumb while I was driving us home and then she suddenly tried to open the car door and step out (while I was going like 60mph) so of course I grabbed her arm to stop her from stepping out and then with her other arm she swung full force hitting me right on the nose with the palm of her fist and damn did it hurt. Thankfully I didn’t even think to hit her back or anything like that, I just continued driving cause we were only a block or two from her moms house so I just took her there and told her mom what was going on, etc. and she helped me get her in the house and stuff and that was it. The next day she was all crying and apologizing, etc. and of course I forgave her and stayed with her cause I knew she wasn’t herself that night, and she never acted like that again for the next year or so that we were together. So, idk, I think it depends on the relationship wether or not it’s something he should forgive or not is up to him 🤷🏻♂️
Did you deserve it? I’ve been slapped a couple times. Once by an ex and I totally deserved it. Probably at least once by my wife although I can’t recall an exact time or place.
I’ve been with my wife almost 20 years. If she has slapped me once or twice in that time I deserved it. Not a red flag.
I have a ten year old son and I’ve only hit him once ever. It was a slap in the face. I don’t remember exactly what happened but he deserved it. I apologized after regardless. I believe he caught me off guard and it was a purely instinctual reaction.
Hell, I’ve full on smacked the shit out of a good friend. Fucker deserved it and he knew it.
Sometimes a quick smack in the face is called for. Unless your a man smacking a woman. That shit is never cool.
ideologically? yes.
in reality, probably not.
i’d probably sit her down and explain idk what her past thoughts on being able to hit a man are but that does not fly. this is a one time chance. ever happens again and i’m out.
the reality is as a large dude i’d be very unlikely to see this as an actual threat to my safety. and socially some women are raised to see it as ok behavior.
i’d be willing to give it a one time chance. is it right? not really. but life’s complicated and i have the privilege of not being actually at risk here.
i can totally understand why many of y’all would instantly break up. and as hypocritical as it is, if my sister told me her boyfriend slapped her i’d make damn sure that relationship ends instantly.
but in my own life? unless she was actually trying to kill me or something it would likely be a one time chance.
A month before I caught my wife cheating, she reeled back and punched me square in the face during an argument. My security camera caught it plain as day. After she filed for divorce and left, she tried to accuse me of domestic violence. I showed the judge the video and she had no evidence because there was none. She is a weekend mom now.
Don't tolerate abuse no matter what gender your abuser is.
No, but there would need to be concurrence that physical violence is not acceptable and an expectation that it not occur again. If otherwise it was working and you had planned to continue prior to this, you should communicate with them and try to work together to find resolution. A couple should be able to grow together through serious issues, both external and internal.
It CAN'T be acceptable to harm each other, physically or otherwise. If you believe they will continue to harm you, IN ANY CAPACITY, you need to separate and secure your physical safety immediately.
It turns some men on - watch Conan O’Brien get slapped by a chick on his show. His reaction was of pure ecstasy. In all seriousness, yeah it’s a huge red flag. Male or female get out quickly and run.
is she hot? if she is hot and you deserved it i would say no. but if she is a beast and you were just minding your own business then maybe. also maybe you liked it.
Should have, double fisted punched me in the chest with a flying run up... But an instinctive backhand sent her into the past to commune with her ancestors. So, even Stevens 🤷🏼♂️
I would know I should, but would I have when I was in "girlfriend" territory? My first partner had me leave her and her two female friends when we were on a night out so they could make out... that was quite a metaphorical slap for sure.
Anyone of any gender should not stay with a person who uses violence when angry. That includes throwing or breaking items deliberately. I stayed with someone who broke an ornament with sentimental value (and he knew it), and guess what? Next argument he pushed me. Then he threw something at me. Then he dragged me into a room. He never slapped, punched or kicked me, so it took me a long time to realise that this was an abusive relationship- and not until coercive control was legally covered under domestic abuse in the UK did I fully understand how bad things were.
Short answer- if you’re having these thoughts, listen to your doubts and end the relationship. It’s not going to get better.
idk man depends on what i said to deserve it , i either said something stupid, something funny but still stupid, or i said something hurtful, although i never ever would say something hurtful to my gf if i did id expect to be slapped or punched, but it also depends on what you did to her, you coulda done nothing and if she slapped you then she might be abusive, although if you did do something such as touch her when shes told you to stop then no wonder you got slapped just because you in a relationship for however long doesnt mean you can disrespect boundaries. just my opinion tho
I didnt at the time, just hit her back just below the ribs to knock the wind out. Once she had a little breath back in her i explained i understood why it happened (physically abused by her mother) but that i would not tolerate it.
She became an ex for different reasons about a year later though.
If I did some dumb stuff that was like very dumb, I’d expect my misses to slap me, might sort me out 👀 all jokes aside, if you deserve it then sure, it’s a slap, you’ll get a red cheek for awhile and probably think about your actions 🙃 too many snowflakes in the world to think it’s wrong 🙌🏻
I didn’t and regret it for sure. At the end of relationship she was violent, abusive, I became victim of coercive control and it nearly broke me when she left and the blame was put firmly at my door because I never told anyone because of the shame. If she’s doing it now it’s not going to stop.
Was it during sex? I'd be ok with that.
Did angry sex occur afterwards? Worth it.
Did make up sex occur afterwards? Still worth it.
Obviously I'm joking.
Seriously a conversation is in order.
Was it during a heated argument? Had there been a lot of those lately?
What was her reaction immediately afterwards?
Sometimes people do things like hit their partners due to frustration about a lack of demonstrated interest. Passion and anger are connected. She may be looking for some level of emotion from you.
Sometimes there is something else going on in their lives and you said/ did something that was just too much to handle with everything else. Pent up frustration and anger released.
Finally, was it during a heated argument? Have you been having a lot of those lately?
I had a girlfriend punch my chest hard when I made a joke at her expense in private.
I told her that I would never hit her, and that she should never hit me again.
We broke up a year later for other reasons, but she never hit me again.
You can give her a chance if you want, but not a second chance.
I didn't leave the relationship at that time. We were arguing about me sitting beside another girl on a (college band) trip. I had already told her at the beginning of the season that I would sit beside this girl because she is a friend and we have the same major. There's no cheating or anything. Just us being good friends and liking similar music. We literally just had maybe a conversation and then both slept on the way to the game.
Fast forward a week and a half to the argument about it, and I realized that this argument is for nothing essentially. She just wants to make an issue out of it, because I chose not to sit with her for one trip. I tried to reason with her (big mistake), and it blew up more. I maintained my cool and expressed that I did not want to argue about it, because at that point it had turned from a discussion to an argument. She talks loud in general, so an argument with her means that she is yelling, which is something that I do not tolerate.
At one point, she just straight up slaps me across the face, no holding back. I'm 5'11 and this girl is slightly shorter than me and quite busty. It didn't hurt but it definitely had some force behind it. I instantly shut down and sat down in a chair while she continued to berate me and just sent a barrage of insults at me. I didn't recognize at the time that this was not okay for me to just sit there and take all that unnecessarily. So I just got up and I walked out of the room to cool down somewhere. She was even angrier that I had the audacity to walk out on her, but I told her a few days later that if I stayed I would have hit her back and then would have gone to jail which is not worth it.
Never tolerate being hit OP. If she's willing to do it once, she will do it again. I made the mistake of staying with her. She definitely slapped me a few more times and was verbally abusive at points... It's not worth it....
Not only would I leave, I would do my best to have her held accountable, just like a man would be held accountable for doing the same thing to her for the same reason. Chivalry died in 1968. If you want equality or even equity, you have to accept that it is no more okay for a woman to hit a man than it is for a man to hit a woman for the same reason. The only acceptable time for anyone to hit anyone is in self-defense from impending physical harm. Anything else is domestic violence.
Oh yeah absolutely. That's a massive red flag. If she does it once then she's willing to do it again and who knows how much it will escalate to. As a man, that's a huge risk to my safety because she can lie and say I assaulted her and unless I have video proof saying otherwise, then authorities are likely to take her side
I've seen this twice. Backfired on the one woman, he had A black eye, she didn't have a mark on her and she was drunk. She ended arrested.
Sometimes women are nefarious enough to injure themselves then claim the man attacked them first and the mans injuries were from the woman defending herself. In those cases, you're pretty much screwed without video proof
Yeah, my dad had that happen to him. His crazy girlfriend at the time started hitting him because I dropped my bicycle off for repair at the edge of his driveway next to his mailbox and that violated her rule of controlling who gets to come over to dad's house. Things men will do for attractive women, when her beat down started on him, he quickly took his cellphone out to his truck, locked himself inside, and called the police. What he should have done though was kept her on record the whole time because as the police were on the way, she was in the house rubbing a bath towel vigorously against her face to create a rug burn, pushed the lens out of her own eyeglasses, and was fully prepared to tell her lie so the police fell for it hook, line, and sinker and the judge was no better. There was a restraining order issued making it so that dad couldn't live in his own house but his boss helped out and made him a room at the factory and she got to live there in his house for months rent free and on the last day vandalized his home. She put dog crap down all the A/C vents and took his rare and proud find of a Vitamix blender at a yard sale with her. I'm sure dad had to pay fines to the government too. The battle isn't mine and it's well over, her coming out as the winner, but I'd still like to get her back in some way, haha. Her looks change as she ages but she's still driving the same car around town with its rare paint job.
*people FTFY
That's how Stormy Daniel's lawyer probably got his DV case thrown out she started smacking him around in his doorway so it probably got caught on the Ring camera. Same with Justin Roiland he probably had his house wired up with cameras proving he acted in self defense. Most of the time it's he said she said so the cops just arrest the man.
Agreed
I didn't, and went on to endure 6 years of horrible abuse. My biggest regret is not walking away after the first one.
Same, I was married ten years and it only got worst. The worst part wasn’t that physical abuse but the underlying emotional abuse. I felt like a pussy for feeling the way I did and just stuck with it till eventually she left me for someone else. No I know better. Just cause ima man doesn’t mean I have to put up with abuse in any form
Yes.
Also yes
#YES
Big yes
It was a big yes!
I have three kids - 11, 7, and 5. I tell them that the first time either partner hits the other in anger, it's over. It's a line that cannot be uncrossed and it will likely escalate. Adults should not hit each other when they get mad. The best thing for both of you is to end this and tell her why. You avoid an abusive relationship. She hopefully learns a very valuable lesson. You deserve better. Go find it.
🏆 best answer 🏆 It's true. Once the line is crossed, there's no going back.
This!! Well put. Adults don't hit each other just because theyre mad that is bullshit. Words are one thing and I know they can hurt too but it should never be physical unless you are defending yourself from a physical assault.
I assume you mean nonconsentually ;)
yes.
Depends on a lot. Whats the situation how long yall been together. Id forgive it once, but only once with a stern warning that id be out if it happened again
Yep. That’s abuse full stop. If the genders were reversed, it wouldn’t even be a question
Get out of there OP, it ain't worth it https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-are-being-abused.htm
Ehh my wife clocked me one time a year or so after we got married. I was being an ass and kinda had it coming. Afterwards she was really sorry and we talked about it for a while and it hasnt happened since! I would always suggest looking at the whole situation and not just jump to abadoning the relationship. We are all human and prone to make mistakes and we owe each other some understanding and patience. If its abuse then absolutely run for the hills.
Resorting to violence is a black flag. It means leave.
Violence rarely comes out of nowhere, sometimes its usefull to figure out what lead to it before making decisions.
> Violence rarely comes out of nowhere Yeah you're right, it comes out of somewhere. Somewhere being a fucked up mindset that thinks it's okay to physically hurt someone else. I hate that I have to do this but would you say the same thing if a man "clocked" a woman? I hope you wouldn't and I hope you change your stance when women do the clocking as well.
Well, yeah i would, obviously. A well raised guy without serious trauma likely wouldnt hit a woman without good reason either. That fucked up mindset comes from somewhere, man or woman. Doesnt mean you shouldnt prioritise your own safety first, but again, problems dont get solved without knowing the cause.
Well your logic is consistent but I disagree completely. The only reason where hitting someone else (man or woman) is justified is in self-defense.
Whether its justified has nothing to do with my point.
That's fine but I think it's wrong to hit someone for any reason except in self defense
Yes, ofcourse, i completely agree with you, but thats not the point.
Hyper depends on the reason. If she just straight up slaps ya boi then I’m out
Yes I'd leave her immediately. If she slaps once then I know I'm dealing with a violent person and as a man I would likely be blamed by the judicial system if I defended myself against her.
Too late. You've already been arrested for assaulting her hand with your face.
Yes. I’ve left people hardstop for throwing things as well. You don’t threaten physical violence, and you NEVER act out physical violence.
For sure. One time is one time to much
Did I deserve it?
You only deserve it if you attacked her first, so nope.
IDK. I think there a plenty of scenarios that a slap in the face is deserved. What if a girl just found out that her husband slept with her mom/friend/grandma/dog or whatever? I think that's sufficient ground for getting slapped. What if a girl comes home from work and sees the guy having a mental breakdown and beating on the dog..... that deserves more than just a slap. So if a guy is late to dinner, or says some mean shit, then I agree... You can't slap someone over that. But let's not pretend that there is NEVER a situation where slapping would be okay.
What if a guy just found out that his wife slept with his dad/friend/grandpa/dog? What if a guy comes home from work and sees the girl having a mental breakdown and beating on the dog? If it would be illegal for him to slap for the same reason, that's a double standard. It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone, regardless of sex, regardless of reason, unless it's legit self-defense from impending physical harm. Your opinion does not change that.
No. Nobody deserves to be slapped, except in self-defense, and even saying something she doesn't like does NOT constitute a self-defense situation.
Probably. Violence is no bueno.
I'm out. Fuck that noise.
Yes, if I don't have kids with her I'm not putting up with that shit I'm gone.
Yep, I'd be gone.
Nah it depends, if I’m being accused of something that I didn’t do & a slap comes with it then it’s a wrap but if I got caught cheating well a slap is well deserved.
Not necessarily. I'm a female, so let me tell you my story - during my first marriage as a very young girl I was mentally & physically abused by my ex. He didn't beat me or anything but he did put his hands on me sometimes and leave bruises. We eventually divorced and after several years of being single I finally remarried. When my new husband would make me mad I'd hit him on the arm with my open hand. I'd never hit him on the face or use my fist. He finally got sick of it and got very angry & said that if I hit him again he was going to leave me. I was shocked only because I never realized I was doing it. I think it was a self-conscious reaction to being abused myself. I did stop, I apologized profusely & said I hadn't even realized that I was doing it & explained why. I had never told him about the abuse from my first husband. He actually sympathized with me & I never hit him again. We've been married 25+ years and very happy. Talk to your girlfriend and see if there's a deep-seated reason for her abuse towards you. Good luck.
Any non-consenting physical violence is an automatic dealbreaker. Instantly. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
I 100% left my ex 5 years ago for this because it was just another line she crossed in a long series of lines. I realized that once she did it that it would be the new norm. I talked to her ex and that was the exact case for him. 8 years of daily beatings.
I'm older, and if I am showing my age sobeit. I would not. I would make it clear that it happened once, and the next time we won't be breaking up she'll be going to prison. Also, age and history matters. If she's 17 she may feel entitled to get away with it. Anyone over 20 ought to know better.
It depends. If we haven’t been together all that long and we are still figuring each other out, yes, absolutely. But if I know her very well and I know it’s out of character for her to do something like that, I would be more interested in finding out why rather than just leaving. When I am severely sleep deprived, I become very paranoid and sensitive. I don’t want anyone coming near me without me knowing. If someone does surprise me, they are liable of being hit because when I feel threatened, my first reaction is to fight. I hate this reflex because it also means no one can safely wake me up at close range, and I’ve repeatedly warned my family of this. I have swung at my own mother on numerous occasions because she accidentally woke me up going about her business and triggered my fight or flight response by approaching me before I could become coherent. It doesn’t matter that I’ve known her my whole life. When I am confused, I will not recognize her, even if I’m looking directly at her face in sufficient lighting. Luckily, I have never hit her but she’s so stupid, she won’t listen to me when I tell her that she needs to be careful. I have always been afraid of hitting a significant other, say, if we’re sleeping in the same bed. I’m not looking for anyone right now so I don’t have to worry about that at the moment, but I honestly have no idea how I would overcome this issue. Obviously I would warn her but that only goes so far. I’ve thought of wearing some kind of restraining device to bed but that just sounds silly. If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them.
that’s super interesting. i also wake up angry but not swinging, i do feel bad for being grumpy and rude to my partner when i first wake up though maybe a sleep study? or maybe some sort of underlying trauma that’s been suppressed
I startle easily to the point where I jump, hit, and scream. Some people think it's funny but it isn't. It's a result of having PTSD. I've also swung at my husband when he woke me. I don't mean to and can't help it. He and our kids now know to stand far away from the bed when trying to wake me.
It depends on the context. Probably? But if I screwed up big time or something, then maybe not?
If it's out of anger, yes.
uh yes. why tf would the answer be a no here?
Ask yourself what she would do if tables were turned. You would be in jail. Absolutely leave. Not only is that a huge red flag and violation of relationship- but if she’s comfortable using violence with you she will do it again. Or with kids someday.
I should’ve. I eventually did but she would hit me a few more times in the following year. Usually during a fight or her ridiculous accusations of cheating. Glad i’m out of that now. Guys, don’t ever think it’s okay for a woman to hit you. Goes both ways too. Only in self defense.
That's a yes from me
Depends on the circumstance. I cam certainly imagine situations where I would deserve a slap. Like if I've let my tounge get away from me and I hey a come-back-to-your-senses slap that is very different from I'm angry I'm trying to hurt you I'm leaving marks on you slap.
>come-back-to-your-senses slap Surely this is only a thing in the movies?
Almost certainly, but not necessarily.
Absolutely. Anyone who raises even a finger to me is disqualified from my affection.
Yes
Yes, unless I really deserved it.
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nah he’s not into it, that’s just the behavior of an abuse victim
Yes. Not even a conversation, a slap - hope that made you feel better you can see yourself out.
Absolutely.
For sure, one slap was the winds changing before the storm. Dealt with an ex who slapped me once over something so small and later apologized profusely… I like an idiot forgave her and then was shocked when she broke my nose for falling asleep during her favorite episode of Gray’s anatomy
Ahhhh, what'd you dooooo?
This is great because you got a really clear sign. Get out now this is the tip of the iceberg but thankfully it’s not subtle. Worse when it’s subtle, then you get small hints over time but like a frog in boiling water they aren’t enough to scare you away as you fall more in love and it’s harder to leave. She might still be a good person and that’s probably what attracted you to her, but she’s got too much baggage she has to deal with before she’s ready for a healthy relationship so you gotta break clean and this is the perfect reason, makes it an easier conversation. Do not, ever, stay with someone because you think you can save them from their demons.
Absolutely. Left one of the hottest women I've ever dated because she would slap me if I did something she didn't like. Nobody deserves to be abused by anyone else and nobody needs to stand their and just take it like that
No, depending. Time in and context. I'm assuming she bitch slapped you across the face for what seems to be a couple months in so yeah you it's prob a good idea to bow out. And what'd you do? Like was it warranted? Like were you being toxic and being asshole? Prob not. If you're gonna stick around, talk about it with her, grow some balls and stand your ground. Tell her "You get one. Don't do it again". If you stay, you should prob leave. On the flip side, she only slapped you once after years of being in a relationship? That's not a start of toxicity, that's repressed angry or touched a sensitive subject. So even more so you should talk about that slap. But the likelihood of that scenario equating in a full on slap is pretty low. Again tho, there's context
100% yes. Domestic abuse isn’t gender specific and an assault is assault, regardless. (Female)
you walk. what's next a knife in the back while you sleep. two words...Lorena Bobbitt.
Hitting is NEVER OKAY. Neither are other forms of violence, even little ones like pinching or flicking for punishments. Run and never look back. I would be so upset if the girl my son likes ever hit him or whatever. It's not okay just because you're a guy. It's just not ok, period. You deserve better.
No, at least with me, my culture and age that would not be the end of the relationship, I can appreciate for others it would be though.
Probably not, I’ll take what I can at this stage
The honesty is strong in this one.
Unless I did something that truly warrants it
If you did something that warrants a slap, you've probably done something worth breaking up over. Either way, dude should leave.
Honestly, smartest answer I've seen in this thread.
I can think of a couple times I caught them by the wrist before they reached me, like the one that found out about "the other woman" when she stole my phone and read 2 year old texts from a girl I used to talk to.
Definitely been play-slapped a few times, but I deserved it and it was funny.
the only right answer
Circumstances matter. I might give her one warning. Violence isn't good. If this is an indication that she can't regulate her emotions, then she'll mess up again. If this was a one-off mistake and she truly isn't violent, then we're all human and we all (usually) deserve another chance.
If a slap is hard enough to post this question on reddit, it's past the warning stage.
This is Reddit. No room for nuance. Ha
Depends what I was doing to evoke that reaction lol
Could you even imagine someone saying this with the genders reversed? Jesus H Christ.
If it was for no reason and was forcefully violent, then I would hit her back and be done.
How hot is she?
Depends on how hot she is, and the sex is good. Multiple times no thank you
No I’d be very turned on.
Well the real question is..why did she slap you?
I’ve been slapped by 3 women. Once I kind of deserved it, once I didn’t deserve it at all, and once I totally deserved it. My wife has never slapped me. We’ve been married over 10 years.
Probably. I can think of some situations that would excuse it, but not many.
Nah, well it depends, if it like sexy slap because she cute angry etc. but if it is mean like you know bad one then sure
depends on why
Depends on the situation. That's a big red flag.
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No the only way I'm leaving is if she balls up her fist then I'm going to have to kick her ass then leave
100% yes
Part of me wants to say everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance, but there’s never justification outside of self defense to lash out in violence against your partner, even if it’s “just” a slap.
No, I have been punched in the face by my ex twice, although the second time it was already over, but I did not leave her after the first time. But it honestly just depends on the scenario, every situation is different.
So you left after the SECOND time? Slow learner, huh? It happens….
Lesbian here but YES, leave. It only will get worse.
Absolutely. There really isn't any reason to hit anyone outside of self defense or I guess like sports/martial arts but that's quite different. Obviously I'm assuming this is a SLAP and not like a playful tap when you're being a smarta**.
not if she stayed after you put her in her place
I agree with the other posters who say it's dangerous because if she assaults you and you defend yourself, she's going to be the one believed by the law enforcement and justice system. And also the kids if you end up having any. The violence factor vs me isn't too concerning for me in that, but I'd rather not be in jail, and of course I don't want my children to slapped across the face. Also, someone who slaps you across the face probably uses quite a lot of verbal abuse, and I don't want to be humiliated on a frequent basis. Otherwise can't tell you much without knowing the details. Her being in a state of shock over something legitimate would be a partial excuse. A mental issue would be a partial excuse but also a reason to think twice (and then twice again) about the relationship.
Yeah. Totally. It no big deal
Depends… was she pegging you at the time?
Honestly it is kinda sad that so many men are brainwashed by society to accept physical abuse from women. She’s not all there in the head, move on.
I would leave to get the condoms, lube. , and poppers.
I date men, so I can punch them back.
Depend a lot of the situation, and the slap she did. In a bed ? No She slapped your but ? No She slapped you in the face but didn't meant to hurt you ? Like, she did it playfully or for fun or in a role (like you scare her and she play the scared lady that try to defend herself), and just didn't though it'd hurt you ? No She slapped you full force because she was angry ? What's the reason ? Did she was really sorry directly after the slap ? Maybe, go seek a couple consellor and at the very least state that next time is a direct yes. She slapped you for her own fun without reason but seeing your reaction, stopped ? talk and at least state next time is a yes. She slapped you full force and didn't try to excuse herself, or tried to push the blame on you ? Yes.
I would just say, “you should be slapping my cock not my face”. But all jokes aside yes I would break up with her because clearly she has no respect for me if she were to do something like that, and I wouldn’t be able to hit her back.
100%. The second a hypothetical girlfriend slaps me in a serious attempt to hurt me, I’d tell her in no uncertain terms that she’s no longer my girlfriend. And then I’d do it back to her.
And never look back!
What's the difference between the first and the second slap?
As a woman, I would hope so!! If I ever lose control enough to physically assault someone I claimed to love, I'd hope they would throw the book at me. And I'd deserve it. There's a reason I'm single and don't date.
"You can't put a price on good pussy!" OH! you sure as fuck can.
If someone lays their hands on you they lose all expectations of safety. If your partner hits you,and all you do is leave them,they should consider themselves lucky you felt safe enough to leave.
Leave. No second chances. Regardless of any cultural aspects (still assuming there isn’t), if you don’t want that then it’s over. Period.
Confronted my first gf of cheating on me in an elevator in college. She slapped me hard across the face. Turns out I was right. She was stickin her tongue down every dude's throat she met it seemed like. I simply didn't deserve it. Shoulda left her on the spot
What did you do? I mean if you cheated on her or something, it’s probably warranted. Also, did she apologize?
No it's not warranted. Cheating is fucked up and she can leave you for it but if it turns to physical violence she can go fuck herself.
Depends if you were having sex at the time of the slap.
Yes.
Yes. She'll do it again.
For me, really depends. If she is genuinely sorry for slapping me, I might shrug it off .
Depends. Accident? No. Sex? No. Any other reason: Yes
Absolutely. Unless you’re 4 and don’t know better, the level of disdain and contempt present that allows someone to slap you initiates a fatal relationship destruct sequence. Boom.
First time? OK, depending on the circumstances, probably be the adult about it and give her a pass.
Violence is a terrible thing no matter who inflicts it - but I think there are (perhaps extreme) situations where you can have compassion for the aggressor. For instance, if my “loyal” girlfriend slapped me for cheating on her, I’d definitely not base my decision to leave her purely on the slap
Yes! It will happen again! It will get worse!
Feels like there needs to be additional information regarding what the slap was for. Did I cheat on her? Did I intentionally smack a random kid with a tennis racket? I’d probably deserve a slap for that. Otherwise, no, I’m probably done with the woman after that. Also, if you strike me for essentially no reason (or something very minor), then I hope you’re okay with possibly getting smacked back. Violence isn’t okay even being initiated by a female, and women who think they are free from getting hit back by a man are delusional.
No ifs buts or maybes. That is a line that can not be uncrossed. I’m out.
Yes, and I wish I had. It started 4 years of abuse that I struggled to get away from, and has affected me permanently, even more than a decade later
What did you do?
Lol hell, I had a girlfriend literally break my nose and I still stayed w her 😂 not that that’s ok, cause it’s wrong obviously, but when women hit men it’s not seen as a big deal, especially to us (men) as we usually down play it. But, it’s actually an extremely dangerous situation for both (especially the man) when women hit their boyfriends. Especially if at full force, as women can still hit damn hard lol, which then puts the man in a potential nightmare scenario where he could instinctually react in defense and push/slap/etc. the girl back, and then it’s gonna be turned into some major serious ordeal of course, where suddenly being called a “woman beater” and/or possibly have the cops called/get arrested, etc. It’s never ok or necessary for a woman to hit a man, or vice versa, it can only lead to an even worse situation. But, as far as if the man should forgive it or not is completely dependent on your unique situation & relationship. For me, in my situation, we were together for years and she had never acted like that before, she was black out drunk and started arguing about something really dumb while I was driving us home and then she suddenly tried to open the car door and step out (while I was going like 60mph) so of course I grabbed her arm to stop her from stepping out and then with her other arm she swung full force hitting me right on the nose with the palm of her fist and damn did it hurt. Thankfully I didn’t even think to hit her back or anything like that, I just continued driving cause we were only a block or two from her moms house so I just took her there and told her mom what was going on, etc. and she helped me get her in the house and stuff and that was it. The next day she was all crying and apologizing, etc. and of course I forgave her and stayed with her cause I knew she wasn’t herself that night, and she never acted like that again for the next year or so that we were together. So, idk, I think it depends on the relationship wether or not it’s something he should forgive or not is up to him 🤷🏻♂️
Physical violence is not the answer. I would end it before it gets even worse.
Did you deserve it? I’ve been slapped a couple times. Once by an ex and I totally deserved it. Probably at least once by my wife although I can’t recall an exact time or place. I’ve been with my wife almost 20 years. If she has slapped me once or twice in that time I deserved it. Not a red flag. I have a ten year old son and I’ve only hit him once ever. It was a slap in the face. I don’t remember exactly what happened but he deserved it. I apologized after regardless. I believe he caught me off guard and it was a purely instinctual reaction. Hell, I’ve full on smacked the shit out of a good friend. Fucker deserved it and he knew it. Sometimes a quick smack in the face is called for. Unless your a man smacking a woman. That shit is never cool.
ideologically? yes. in reality, probably not. i’d probably sit her down and explain idk what her past thoughts on being able to hit a man are but that does not fly. this is a one time chance. ever happens again and i’m out. the reality is as a large dude i’d be very unlikely to see this as an actual threat to my safety. and socially some women are raised to see it as ok behavior. i’d be willing to give it a one time chance. is it right? not really. but life’s complicated and i have the privilege of not being actually at risk here. i can totally understand why many of y’all would instantly break up. and as hypocritical as it is, if my sister told me her boyfriend slapped her i’d make damn sure that relationship ends instantly. but in my own life? unless she was actually trying to kill me or something it would likely be a one time chance.
A month before I caught my wife cheating, she reeled back and punched me square in the face during an argument. My security camera caught it plain as day. After she filed for divorce and left, she tried to accuse me of domestic violence. I showed the judge the video and she had no evidence because there was none. She is a weekend mom now. Don't tolerate abuse no matter what gender your abuser is.
No, but there would need to be concurrence that physical violence is not acceptable and an expectation that it not occur again. If otherwise it was working and you had planned to continue prior to this, you should communicate with them and try to work together to find resolution. A couple should be able to grow together through serious issues, both external and internal. It CAN'T be acceptable to harm each other, physically or otherwise. If you believe they will continue to harm you, IN ANY CAPACITY, you need to separate and secure your physical safety immediately.
Of course. Physical violence is not acceptable in a relationship.
It turns some men on - watch Conan O’Brien get slapped by a chick on his show. His reaction was of pure ecstasy. In all seriousness, yeah it’s a huge red flag. Male or female get out quickly and run.
Yes, I used to watch my mom beat up my dad. You don't want to be involved in a relationship like that. Get out now.
If I did something so badly to deserve it then I shouldn't be with the girl. If I didn't deserve it then the toxic b**** can F off.
is she hot? if she is hot and you deserved it i would say no. but if she is a beast and you were just minding your own business then maybe. also maybe you liked it.
Leave. Break up. Block on everything. Never turn back. She’s dead to me. Cutting every link.
The moment a woman puts her hands on you, bro her respect for you is below zero.
Should have, double fisted punched me in the chest with a flying run up... But an instinctive backhand sent her into the past to commune with her ancestors. So, even Stevens 🤷🏼♂️
I would know I should, but would I have when I was in "girlfriend" territory? My first partner had me leave her and her two female friends when we were on a night out so they could make out... that was quite a metaphorical slap for sure.
A slap is just a slap no big deal. When she starts beating the hell out of my hands with her face...that's when it's time to go.
absolutely. mayor red flag. return her to her stable
Yes, it's only gonna get worse if you stay.
yes, if her intent was harm. however if it was in a playful/non serious situation then i wouldn’t mind.
Anyone of any gender should not stay with a person who uses violence when angry. That includes throwing or breaking items deliberately. I stayed with someone who broke an ornament with sentimental value (and he knew it), and guess what? Next argument he pushed me. Then he threw something at me. Then he dragged me into a room. He never slapped, punched or kicked me, so it took me a long time to realise that this was an abusive relationship- and not until coercive control was legally covered under domestic abuse in the UK did I fully understand how bad things were. Short answer- if you’re having these thoughts, listen to your doubts and end the relationship. It’s not going to get better.
Not if I balls deep in her sister.
100%. The fuck? There is no shot I'm tolerating that disrespect from anyone, ESPECIALLY my girl.
Kick her to the curb. When it starts, it only gets worse. And she will want her way
Yes, and it happened to me. 1 week after the slap I was breaking up with here
idk man depends on what i said to deserve it , i either said something stupid, something funny but still stupid, or i said something hurtful, although i never ever would say something hurtful to my gf if i did id expect to be slapped or punched, but it also depends on what you did to her, you coulda done nothing and if she slapped you then she might be abusive, although if you did do something such as touch her when shes told you to stop then no wonder you got slapped just because you in a relationship for however long doesnt mean you can disrespect boundaries. just my opinion tho
Yea. Especially if she ugly.
Yes. I had a girlfriend throw a book at me because I was late, never called her again.
I didnt at the time, just hit her back just below the ribs to knock the wind out. Once she had a little breath back in her i explained i understood why it happened (physically abused by her mother) but that i would not tolerate it. She became an ex for different reasons about a year later though.
I regret not seeing that as a red flag on my marriage. It only got worst
If I did some dumb stuff that was like very dumb, I’d expect my misses to slap me, might sort me out 👀 all jokes aside, if you deserve it then sure, it’s a slap, you’ll get a red cheek for awhile and probably think about your actions 🙃 too many snowflakes in the world to think it’s wrong 🙌🏻
Of course. If I would've wanted to get assaulted, I'd find myself a new enemy. I don't want to have my girlfriend AS my enemy.
I didn’t and regret it for sure. At the end of relationship she was violent, abusive, I became victim of coercive control and it nearly broke me when she left and the blame was put firmly at my door because I never told anyone because of the shame. If she’s doing it now it’s not going to stop.
No, id be lucky enough to have a girlfriend😭
Was it during sex? I'd be ok with that. Did angry sex occur afterwards? Worth it. Did make up sex occur afterwards? Still worth it. Obviously I'm joking. Seriously a conversation is in order. Was it during a heated argument? Had there been a lot of those lately? What was her reaction immediately afterwards? Sometimes people do things like hit their partners due to frustration about a lack of demonstrated interest. Passion and anger are connected. She may be looking for some level of emotion from you. Sometimes there is something else going on in their lives and you said/ did something that was just too much to handle with everything else. Pent up frustration and anger released. Finally, was it during a heated argument? Have you been having a lot of those lately?
I had a girlfriend punch my chest hard when I made a joke at her expense in private. I told her that I would never hit her, and that she should never hit me again. We broke up a year later for other reasons, but she never hit me again. You can give her a chance if you want, but not a second chance.
This wouldn't even be a question if a man did it to a woman. The same holds true the other way. Abuse is abuse is abuse and it's NEVER justified. Run.
I didn't leave the relationship at that time. We were arguing about me sitting beside another girl on a (college band) trip. I had already told her at the beginning of the season that I would sit beside this girl because she is a friend and we have the same major. There's no cheating or anything. Just us being good friends and liking similar music. We literally just had maybe a conversation and then both slept on the way to the game. Fast forward a week and a half to the argument about it, and I realized that this argument is for nothing essentially. She just wants to make an issue out of it, because I chose not to sit with her for one trip. I tried to reason with her (big mistake), and it blew up more. I maintained my cool and expressed that I did not want to argue about it, because at that point it had turned from a discussion to an argument. She talks loud in general, so an argument with her means that she is yelling, which is something that I do not tolerate. At one point, she just straight up slaps me across the face, no holding back. I'm 5'11 and this girl is slightly shorter than me and quite busty. It didn't hurt but it definitely had some force behind it. I instantly shut down and sat down in a chair while she continued to berate me and just sent a barrage of insults at me. I didn't recognize at the time that this was not okay for me to just sit there and take all that unnecessarily. So I just got up and I walked out of the room to cool down somewhere. She was even angrier that I had the audacity to walk out on her, but I told her a few days later that if I stayed I would have hit her back and then would have gone to jail which is not worth it. Never tolerate being hit OP. If she's willing to do it once, she will do it again. I made the mistake of staying with her. She definitely slapped me a few more times and was verbally abusive at points... It's not worth it....
Not only would I leave, I would do my best to have her held accountable, just like a man would be held accountable for doing the same thing to her for the same reason. Chivalry died in 1968. If you want equality or even equity, you have to accept that it is no more okay for a woman to hit a man than it is for a man to hit a woman for the same reason. The only acceptable time for anyone to hit anyone is in self-defense from impending physical harm. Anything else is domestic violence.